Welcome to the ManTalks KZread channel hosted by Connor Beaton.
Men, naturally have many questions about who they are and where they fit in to the grand scheme of things. If you’re interested in learning about topics such as masculinity, relationships, success, and mental health you’re in the right place.
I’ve been building a community here to share advice on helping men become balanced, form healthy relationships, achieve their goals, and live healthy lives.
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It seems like nice guys get targeted and tested all the time. Not cool at all. Stop testing and provoking kind people to go to the limit and then get them in trouble. I have heard and seen this from others!!! While the “bad boy” gets all the royal treatment and never tested!!
As I look back in my younger years, being nice is disgusting!! Be kind!!
As I look back in my younger years, being nice is disgusting!! Be kind!!
Being just nice is not cool!!!
Damn. So I needed to hear this. Thanks man
Shijat
I unfollowed a woman I shared a few kisses with and have been flirtatious on other occasions but nothing serious. ANYWAYS, we hadn't talked in months, and she calls me 20 mins after the unfollow.... coincidence? 🤷♂️😅
The biggest problem with simps is that they sit in very dangerous chat forums and hate on women and even kill them sometimes!
The first step is noticing the deleterious effects of porn and sexually explicit content. That starts one off on having the will. The next step is to find some other meaningful interactions in life. I recommend joining a men's group if you're lonely. ManKind Project has been a great resource for me. I have a great group of guys I talk to each week. I talk about anything with them and I feel like I don't have to deal with it all alone.
The value of this is inestimables, thanks so much
Great videos. I would like to see my STBX watch these videos. Can you make a video about how a dad can create healthier relationships with his sons? They are learning his habits, and I’m carrying the load for more balance.
Thank You kind internet dad. I got a sister, who wants nothing more than me open up, she said. I told her about how I feel, even tone policed for her. She uses my emotions and the information I prvided, she will reframe it and blame everything back on me. Even when it obvious, I have little to no control of a situation. Happens subconciously like it seems. She tends to use the information in state, where I seem weak, against me. She wants to "change me". Male authentic emotions, are just too much for her.
What if I don’t identify with either? Is there another choice?
Nice 👍
Thanks I really needed this coming fresh from a breakup.
Mark talks about how feelings shouldn’t be more important than facts then spends an hour talking about his feelings…
So important, thank you! I can only tell from my personal experience that when a man doesn't have control over his sexual urges he also struggles with responsibility, focus and self-control in general.
STOP watching porn. Porn will destroy your self-esteem and make your insecurities way worse
Content: Use a DNS service that blocks adult sites on your home internet such as OpenDNS. Easy&Free. Set&Forget.
Several years ago, I had a friend that I had a very... "flirtatious" relationship with, but I knew that trying to pursue a real romance would have been wildly appropriate with her. Cool person, fun hang, very intelligent, juusssst a little too forward for what I was comfortable with. I was able to lay down a boundary and tell her what I was and was not comfortable with, and that I'd much prefer to keep being friends. She eagerly accepted that offer without any hesitation, and we remained good friends for the next few years before the friend group all went their separate ways. I tell the story because I think cold-turkey cutting off your contacts is needlessly harsh. Some women, some times, are trying to leverage sexual energy for attention because it's the only way they think they'll get a man's attention at all. As males, I think it's on us to rewrite that narrative for the benefit of everyone.
Starts with better and present father's imo
This was invaluable, thank you.
I shite you not I deleted instagram in COVID. BUT when i get smitten by someone my brain instantly creates Scenarios like We're already together and all the romaticizing even before talking or saying hello!
I am neglected in my childhood,beating me is my unforgettable memory ,never seen my mom since im 37 now.my problem is im so empathetic because i dont want other people to experience what id experienced.... but im working on my healing each and every day ..
You're such a big help of getting out of this swamp..but god it's hard. Thanks for what you do
My thing is, Nice Girls can only stay with Nice Girls. Average Girls or Bad Girls can't be with Nice/Good Men.
People, unfortunately, flock to drama.
Umm aaaactually the word "trauma" comes from Greek and not Latin
Great video, what is the best part about it for me is what you said at the end - "taming the beast" so that you can use it how you want. One part that I would be weary of is when you said that if you catch yourself having those sexual thoughts and image making, to immediately redirect yourself somewhere else, which I think could lead to certain level of repression which can be bad a bit later when those urges come tumbling out and take you by surprise. I think it's maybe instead useful to feel what comes up in the body without judging it, giving it a bit of time and not reacting to it in any way by thinking "I must go and act out this urge". Just be with it and feel it. . I think then it would naturally dissipate.
There are some people who won't get why you would want to desexualize your brain because they are too in to their sex addiction. They will view it as a fun-killer boring munk life. Those who say you are anti-sex are not ready to to let go of their addiction yet.
If someone needs a more radical tool, in Buddhism there's a practice called Asubha (impurity) where you contemplate the ugly parts of the body. Puss, organs, flem, blood, excrement, bones, sinews.. just everything that's sort of off-putting about the body that you're attracted to. Making you realize that you can't separate the attractive parts from the unattractive ones in reality. It's something you should be careful with but I've found it effective.
What is Only Fans?
Oh sweet summer child
There seems to be no end to sexualized media these days. It's really, really bad.
The hardest person to break up with is the one you created in your delusional, fantasy-making mind...
🤣camping hacks! Same that’s hilarious man you’re a funny guy
Super important stuff! Let’s blow this one up along with the entire channel!😎Great work as always and thank you!!
Good stuff, man!
I think a lot of this is lack of accountability on the part of men....that isn't entirely their fault I guess. They are fed this narrative that being a sexist brute who plays sports is the way to be a man. And then are sorely disappointed that women don't have time for that crap anymore and find it quite gross and worthy of contempt. Having a penis doesn't automatically get you everything you want.
The third was what broke my porn addiction of over a decade. The fantasizing is what really gets you, because that’s what follows you around all day. Also, try to separate “hot” girls from “attractive” girls and give your attention to the ones that you actually find attractive (not just looks but the whole package)
you got any other tips? Trying to de sexualize after over a decade of that as well..
@@tcggggg A couple years ago I went off to college and realized that I needed to be more focused than porn was allowing me to be to survive. I basically went cold turkey for about 4 months out of panic. I then started to realize that I was starting to feel really good from lack of porn use. I have since relapsed a bit off and on, but I have in my head that image of how it feels to be free. That’s what keeps me going now, knowing that there is a place that I can get to where it doesn’t rule my life. So, maybe just tell yourself that “I can go back to using after like 90 days or something completely clean” and try it. Convince yourself there is a “promised land” by traveling there for a little while, just to see how it feels. I’m rooting for you bro we all are 👊
but how do i know the whole package , if i am being smitten by the attractive ones.. and it turns out those Betches are absolute trash!
stuborness let us know that we have to be so calm to learn from it.
Have you noticed women are nowhere to be found on the comment section? Its because this is not their problem, they don't care even a little bit and thus, they are oblivious about it.
Was actually doing very well with this, but then a whirlwind of a narcissist lady came into my life.
The second we start on a true path, the devil comes in to temp us. Started this year off with so much momentum in different areas until, like you, the girl showed up. Promiscuity, narcissism, and attention seaking. Hard to break an on and off situationship of 8 years tho smh
It's not easy. Most men start thinking of sex before they ever see porn, as young as 5, 6 years old. For me, it was the back of Sears Magazines and classmates that awakened my desires. But yeah, 100%, it's hard to desexualize what the brain naturally does.
When a woman has the ability to seduce you with her sexual energy, she has full control over you. It's so easy to take a hold of you if she is in power. The more we hold onto our sexual energy, the more we can harness that energy and use it in positive ways.
Its like trying to convince a dog I've nearly beaten to death constantly over 30 years that I now love him and I'm so sorry but he's in the fetal position crying and won't talk to me. I'll keep trying 🎉 how do we stop believing something we've convinced ourselves is true?
For me understanding the religious explanation guilt aspect of lust. The bodies original purpose was to be a veil for us to hide from god. When you seek excessive pleasure through the body you reinforce limitation and life ending when we are infinite beings. God will provide your partner and you will know. The term guilty pleasure makes more sense. Guilt that we left gods love.
Living in Miami, walking outside is like living in one big thirst trap lol. It’s really challenging when it’s so in my face constantly, not only in social media, but in real life
This is important to free up energy. Thanks for sharing
Preach brother
There’s an app called “One Sec.” It’s a shortcut that you can add to any app. Every time you select the app the shortcut will open and tell you to take a short breath, which will hopefully deter you from opening it.
One thing that needs to occur in society is the desexualization of women. They also do it to themselves. The pole vaulting and sports you mention have young women wearing outfits that are intentionally erotic, super short wedgy shorts for example. If it were only women watching they would not be wearing those.