Graine Mediation - Fairfax
Graine Mediation - Fairfax
The divorce mediator Robin Graine, JD, CDFA™ is certified by Supreme Court of Virginia at circuit court family & juvenile and domestic relations division as a divorce mediator and is a former divorce lawyer
Robin has the skills to manage complex financial and tax matters; and understands the impact of divorce on children. Since opening Virginia's preeminent mediation service in 2009, Graine Mediation has helped hundreds of families successfully mediate their divorce settlements including property settlement agreements, child custody and visitation, etc:
www.grainemediation.com/
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I want friendship with you
If you don’t have children & I’m the breadwinner and my husbands a trust fund baby who doesn’t work who only contribute what he needs to ….meaning we split the mortgage electricity etc. but when there’s an emergency like the refrigerator stops working I have to buy MYSELF it he won’t contribute at all ….. also he does nothing around the house he won’t clean , Mow the grass, clean the rain gutters ….NOTHING I want the house I have my own business I can afford it without his help but he can’t afford it without my help….. BUT if I HALF TO leave do I still have to continue paying for the house…..PLEASE HELP 🥹
Suprised you did not mention abuse, addictions, being nothing more than an unpaid, uncared for, verbal abuse and other punching bag for men, who STILL act solo or more needy than a helpless child.
You are right. Abuse is a big reason for divorce. I guess I did not mention that because so many people already have a good feel for what they would do if they were abused: leave. Thanks for pointing that out.
What if we decide to get a divorce but then agree to keep the house and continue to share the mortgage payment to be able to pay it off and for our son to inherit it. Would that be possible if we both agreed to it?
When divorcing, we will have to divide money since it now belongs to both of us. Are we also going to divide our bodies since it now belongs to both of us. This means we will have to split our bodies into two, split our ideas in our memories into two. Why is it only 'material' assets (like money and cars etc) that we split??
I think we do split part of my body. I know my heart was broken when my marriage broke up. That is a split. It's mended; but part of it is still in my old family.
I need some help please thank you
If in most cases the division of marital assets in 50 50 why we need lawyers? How can lawyers help to make it say 70 30? If the law in several states says it has to be fair and equitable then the court or judge decision of 50 50 is violating the law. Any views on these issues would be appreciated..
Lawyers do not usually make it 70/30. Best case scenario -- if one spouse behaved very badly -- is closer to 60/40. Once you add the attorneys fees on top, it is often times not worth the fight. You realize 50/50 might have been easier and, often times, cheaper. Judges go with 50/50 on a regular basis -- even in states that do not have the 50/50 law -- because they do not want a higher level court to overturn them. That is hard to do with a 50/50 decision. It is only when the division of assets is way out of the 50/50 norm that judges are the greatest risk of their decisions being overturned. The facts are all subjective when it comes to dividing assets and debts. One person's very bad behavior could be another person's small nuisance behavior. I agree that most people should not need lawyers to get through a divorce. That is what I do for a living. Help people settle their cases without lawyers.
I offered my wife to buy me out or I would buy her out with refinancing, or sell the home and split the proceeds. I bought her out and removed her name from the mortgage. As soon as you know your getting a divorce, get out of as much debt as possible and before any child support or alimony comes into play so your better able to get approved for refinancing. Timing is everything, most people are so consumed with a new relationship that they are not interested in dealing with refinancing or you in general as you are basically dead to them. Use this to your advantage and make smart financial choices. A few years later I started making more money and I have always participated financially for our son as we had 51/49, no such thing as 50/50 in California. A few years later I got sued for child support, well you have a couple weeks to show your bills, so the court can decide how much you pay. I had no car loans so I bought a new ford Raptor ,as a vehicle is necessary for work. My child support dropped from roughly 1000 a month to 225. Mind you I still paid for anything that my son needed so that’s not the point. My ex just wanted money (as did her boyfriend) this was in California BTW. All I’m saying is be smart and clear headed, also not getting married is a great option if you own a house. Especially where I live as every house is about a million dollars. Cheers 🍻
Item number one seems to be something my wife doesn't understand. I tried to help by buying supplements to help her with her hot flushes, but she called those supplement psychotic drugs. She said she wants her freedom like she used to have while she was single, able to call her friends and just go without caring for anything. She wants to dress up and put on makeup and go to the club, etc.. she asked for divorce a few times and even drove away during one of her fit. I am constantly worrying about her mental health.
I am a military veteran and I am seeing several veterans divorcing after more than 36 years of marriage. Majority of these divorces has lead to suicides which have far exceeded the number of combat deaths. Could you elaborate on veteran divorces. What are my challenges with the Survivors Benefit Plan (SBP)? Can a judge force the vet to continue payment after a divorce? Can the judge order the spouse to maintain their retired military ID, giving them access to military installations, even though they don't meet the requirements to maintain one? How is the military retirement divided? I have been told that the spouse can not be awarded the vet's disability pay but the judge could award alimony by exploiting a loop hole that impact the vet disability pay. I am in Georgia which is not a 50/50 state.
I want to remain with the house when we divorce, Iam the one who bought the stand and I built the house from scratch, I have two cars obviously the other is going to be for him and I want to remain with my three kids, the reason for divorce is constantly cheating, is possible to get what I want or can you advise
There are all kinds of ways that your case could be settled. It depends on what state you live in. To get the best answer to your questions, talk with a mediator or lawyer in your state. They will be able to assess your chances of succeeding with your goals best. Also, remaining in the house and being permitted to keep all of the equity are not the same thing. Please think about which of these you mean before you hire anyone to help you. Also, the constant cheating will probably not get you a lot. If you stay with a person after they have cheated, the courts often view that as "condoning" the cheater's activities. Not fair, I know, what pretty much how it goes. Best of luck to you.
Nobody cares.
Great video! I am a guy and I have seen 100 videos from the MGTOW men, and now I can try and see the other side.
Thank you. Always good to see different perspectives.
In NH. Separated because of legal issues. I have since claimed my daughter. And getting my own apartment with her. We own a home together. How should I plan a divorce. We own the home out right
I don't know if you need to actually plan. If you need to strategize against your spouse, you will want to see an attorney. If you are just trying to figure out how to get your case settled, you should call a mediator. These professionals will have their own way of doing things. You will need to follow their lead on next steps. If you were mediating your divorce in Virginia, your next step would just be to call me and we would figure out next steps.
My husband has always been the bread winner paid all the bills and our daughters travel ball sports but I’ve never known how much he made. I e been recently found out he’s been investing money and has has an ongoing affair with a female who has a small buisness I believe he helps her with it anyhow he moved out a year ago and I’m in the garage of the place we were leasing and yes he’s paying for this but it’s not ideal. We do not have underage children were married for 16 years he has not done his taxes he claims the past 3 years how does he get away with that. We haven’t got divorce because I don’t have money to hire an attorney to investigate my exes finances because I would like that looked at only because his employer also in the past has paid him cash for some of the work he does. And I hate to get his boss in trouble he’s been great with my ex but my ex is being extremely greedy. Tho only reason he hasn’t filed for divorce is because he’s getting all his finances right which upsets me but I have always known him to be sharp.
I hope somebody can shed some light for me. My husband wants to divorce me after committing a domestic violence that almost killed me. His lawyer sent me a Divorce Settlement, stating that everything he had befor ethe marriage is his, his pension is his, everything His. Weve been in the relationship for 16 years, married for 9 years. He didnt want me to work, he wants my full attention. I made him a King for a very long time. Domestic Violence three times, the third time he wants to end my life. I dont know exactly what kind of wife he wants, I don't party, I dont gamble, I am a stay at home mom.. Im just totally the wife material, Im beautiful always beautiful at my best ... for 16 years. I focused on him. It went out of hand, and he beat me and suffocated me. He gives me $500 a month to live on, when we started to put up the business that 500 was down to $200. He makes like $100k++ a year and $500 he got to say something first before giving me anything. Yells at me, expose my naked photos online.. never had a medical insurance at least My point here is, he did not help me grow and expand my talent😢😢 he made me do all that and when I set my boundaries and said enough.. He hurt me and serve me divorce settlement.. of $350 a month in just one year. Keep our house in the Philippines and he is free. Please help me. I need a lawyer to stand for me. I just dont know the rules in Ohio. Help me Please.
what if he has been lying about everything is on his 4th affair had moved me 23 times all over the country and was my media show partner ? he wants a mediator - everyone I know says NO NO NO !
I would never recommended mediating if you are sure the other person will be lying. Get a lawyer.
I live in Fremont, California, and I have one property which I bought before the marriage. If you can help me with my case I’m willing to pay you. I just wanted to know how much money she’s gonna get if I sell my property please let me know.
I hope you found someone to help you. I am not certified to mediate in California.
I'm tired of everything being one way and its his way or no way, and everything must revolve around him very self absorbed and im over it no children in the house or grandchildren so why put up with it anymore 🤔
It sounds awful. I don't know why anyone would put up with that.
You're a POS for faking it. She should divorce you, and quickly. You're not genuine and probably just needy for sex at this point. Gross....
If you are a man, dont get married. Problem solved.
I would leave my husband today but I don’t want to split anything with him He is a narcissist jerk and a lot more than that
I wish I had found you as my Fairfax divorce attorney. Enjoy your presentation and you tell it like it is!
Thank you!
In Ohio I own my house. Spouse not on mortgage or title. I paid all mortgage payments last 12 years automatically deducted from my checking account. Second marriage and we never combined accounts of any kind. Is he going to be able to get half the equity?
No kids.
Sorry. I do not know Ohio law and cannot answer your question. Probably, however, all of those mortgage payments that you paid during the marriage will be considered marital contributions. Not your individual contributions. Your argument will probably be that you made a greater contribution to the marital estate. BUt, that is not the same as saying that it is YOUR money. Money earned during the marriage usually belongs to the marriage ... but that does not necessary mean that everything must be divided in 50/50 (except for a handful of states).
My wife filed a divorce in california. When im still single i cosigned with my dad a house mortgage loan, just for a better credit score requirement. The house is in south carolina. My exwife and i have not contributed nor share on monthly mortgage payment and utilities. Will this be included as community property?
I think you could probably get out of your share of ownership of the South Caroline home if you prove that none of your marital money was used for the purchase, upkeep, etc. You will want a smart lawyer to keep this asset separate from the marital (community) estate.
Where's a divorce lawyer ad when ya want one.
I spoke with Mrs. Graine over the phone, and despite us being in different states, she was incredibly helpful. She provided me with specific guidance on what to say and consider when speaking to my lawyer about my case. I am grateful for the 25 minutes she spent assisting me, and I highly recommend reaching out to her for legal advice. Thank you.
It was my pleasure to help you work on some good questions to ask your lawyer.
I filed for divorce last year and my husband is 64 years old. I am 61 here in California. I was awarded half of his pension. He’s already collected inspection. When can I start collecting my my pension and who do I call because he had to pay to an attorney to take care of this? I have his information should I call them? Please let me know, when I can start my part of his pension, thank you so much
I’m sorry he is 65. I am 61 years old. Can I collect my half of his pension now I did get divorced and I was qualified to get half. Please let me know. Thank you so much because he’s already getting it almost a year and if I do, how much do I get, do I get what I started apply or do I get when he started getting paid to and they will backpay me thank you so much. God bless you.
I’m sorry he is 65. I am 61 years old. Can I collect my half of his pension now I did get divorced and I was qualified to get half. Please let me know. Thank you so much because he’s already getting it almost a year and if I do, how much do I get, do I get what I started apply or do I get when he started getting paid to and they will backpay me thank you so much. God bless you.
Uh oh! It should have been your attorney deal with the pension administrator. There is not much incentive for your husband's attorney to keep on top of this matter. You can call your husband's attorney, but he will probably have no obligation to talk with you. You are not his client. But, if it were me, I would give it a try. If you get no where, you will need to hire your own attorney (as it should have been done in the first place). Best of luck to you.
No one can afford a divorce lawyer exspially when he controls EVERYTHING! I feel like these videos do nothing but get us woman battered more! You need to be more careful 😢
If you are being battered, you need the police. Not a lawyer. Lawyers later. Police now.
I hear one reason categorized five times, not five separate categories. Women enter relationships seeking financial security, emotional validation, children, and sex. Once they no longer require one or more of these things, they may leave. Women tend to have a "what can you do for me" kind of loyalty. On the other hand, men believe that the sacrifices they have made should ensure the relationship remains constant as they age. It's important for us to be more honest about how women perceive relationships. Providing men with advice about the ruthless nature and dark side of women can be helpful. We don't have any issue with openly discussing male dark dating strategies.
Very interesting observations. I was particularly struck by this sentence "...men believe that the sacrifices they have made should ensure the relationship remains constant as they age". I agree. I see that a lot. The problem with that type of thinking, in this day and age, is that most people do not consider making money a sacrifice. Why is that? Because people go to work whether they have kids and a spouse or not. What people get hyped up about are the chores and activities that come about strictly as a result of being married and having kids. It is also true that, when one of the major reasons that a person has for being married disappears, that starts the slide toward divorce. It am not sure that the women enter relationships seeking financial security. Most women work, too. Some do, though, I am sure. Emotional validation? I think we want that in all of our relationships. Marriage, especially. Children and sex can be had whether you are married or not. 40% of babies born in this country are to unwed mothers.
For taxes, if we were divorced summer of 24 and together half of 24 don’t we still have to do taxes together because we were together the first few months of the year 24. Don’t we still pay that together
The IRS views you as either married or divorced for the entire year. They do not count partial years. For example, if your divorce is finalized (divorce decree signed by the judge) on 12/31, the IRS will consider you divorced for that entire year. That is why a lot of people get divorced in January. So can have a full year to file as "married filing jointly".
Books. I would need zero fingers to count how many books every adult in my family has read. Everyone is dumb and boring. THAT is the problem with this world. Everyone is obese or thinking about food all the time. No one works out or reads. I never thought an earth that has it all would blow it on mediocrity.
I think that enormous amounts of people's time is spent on dribble and nothing of substance. But, maybe that is not bad. People want to relax. They want to enjoy life. They no longer think that pushing all the time, and working like a dog, will get them where they want to go. Finding the shortcuts, and working just enough to get by, seems more the norm. That is what I find, anyway, for the majority of the people. Maybe that is not so bad. Maybe some people's mediocrity is other people's deep fun and engagement with what is important to them.
@@GraineMediation All true. My point is I think it's sad that people who can read choose not to. It's such a mind blowing experience to get into a great novel. They're classics and durable for a reason...
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