You’ll Push Him Away if You Try Too Hard. Do This Instead - (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

Ойын-сауық

►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy & paste these 9 FREE texts → www.9Texts.com

Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my KZread channel now.
I post new dating advice for women every Sunday.

In this week's episode of LOVELife, I speak with Sarah who had just started dating her "dream guy" before things took a turn for the worst when she left for a week. With his attention lost, we discuss the subtle ways she can regain it.
Video links at the end:
How To Be Sexy Without Sex Before Marriage: • How To Be Sexy Without...
How To Make Him Commit: • How To Make Him Commit...
►► FREE download: “9 Texts to Get Any Man” → www.9texts.com
►► FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” → www.SayThisToHim.com
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.gettheguy.co.uk/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey

Пікірлер: 1 800

  • @Melmaegwen
    @Melmaegwen8 жыл бұрын

    "If he is not into you, no amount of trying is going to change that" ouch. Truth hurts but this is so true... unfortunatelly

  • @icecreaminc8013

    @icecreaminc8013

    6 жыл бұрын

    thats the message she sends him by taking this guys advice... so its ok for the woman to send the message, *not interested, better things to do* then turn around and go "hmmm he didnt chase after me.....he must not be into me" *LOGIC FAIL!*

  • @UnDefinedLegacy

    @UnDefinedLegacy

    6 жыл бұрын

    Ugh. I should have learned this years ago. 12 years down the drain.

  • @aleena158

    @aleena158

    6 жыл бұрын

    To all of you!!! Read this book called 'Choose the Second Male lead' by Harui on WATTPAD!! Will help u guys a lot...

  • @sherikwasnik7064

    @sherikwasnik7064

    6 жыл бұрын

    OMG. Yes. This just happened to me. He was so sweet and funny and kind. He made me feel so special and like I could be myself around him. He dropped me off after a date, which I thought went really well, and he kissed me and I felt like a million dollars. He said I will see you tomorrow and left me smiling ear to ear. Literally 45 minutes later, I got a text that basically stated that he didn't feel that I was what he wanted in a relationship. Ouch. I was so stunned, dumbstruck, confused. Fill in the blanks. Wow. Here I sit feeling rejected, and led on. What do I do now?

  • @nora22000

    @nora22000

    6 жыл бұрын

    Drop That Man Forever Already--DTMFA because he wanted to create a 'perfect date' experience to say goodbye with. Just let him go and find someone else. If he changes his mind, he will try to reach out to you again sometime. And then I would go really slow with him at that point.

  • @crystalkinchen7292
    @crystalkinchen72928 жыл бұрын

    "You liking him, has nothing to do with you caring about whether he likes you". -Yes Matthew!

  • @verafung6913

    @verafung6913

    6 жыл бұрын

    This is so true! Everyone is his/her own individual person. You like someone that doesn't mean he would reciprocate.

  • @starlonely2793

    @starlonely2793

    6 жыл бұрын

    yes ! as much as i expecting he does care for whatever i do and change his mind ,it doesn't work ! but stoped and giving space is better choice, if we both belong together definily will combine together

  • @Chamka1000

    @Chamka1000

    2 жыл бұрын

    I don’t agree with that

  • @mariepetterson7281

    @mariepetterson7281

    Жыл бұрын

    @@Chamka1000 You don't have to agree with it, but it's still the law of the universe.

  • @bupbeinc
    @bupbeinc8 жыл бұрын

    Watching this video feels like talking to my dad, thank you- from a girl who grew up with an absence of a father.

  • @bt7846

    @bt7846

    7 жыл бұрын

    Why are you covering up your eye?

  • @ilincapreda5815

    @ilincapreda5815

    7 жыл бұрын

    BUPBE INC Exaaaactly!

  • @chardeemcdennis6073

    @chardeemcdennis6073

    6 жыл бұрын

    same

  • @kaneshirogirl

    @kaneshirogirl

    6 жыл бұрын

    oh I feel you girl 100% here's another form to say #metoo :)

  • @kurrves

    @kurrves

    6 жыл бұрын

    BUPBÊ INC I agree. Never had such good advice since I also had an absent/deceased Father.

  • @javiergutierrez3612
    @javiergutierrez36125 жыл бұрын

    Advice to women from coaches, let him reach to you, let him show you he is interested. Advice to men from coaches, let her reach to you, let her show you she is interested. ...They both waited by the phone.

  • @starlightlovev938

    @starlightlovev938

    5 жыл бұрын

    javier gutierrez 😂 this is so true. I’m so over this advice.

  • @BanzettiAMV

    @BanzettiAMV

    5 жыл бұрын

    One person will be chasing the other person is running, that's when the advice applies. Otherwise, it's just not meant to be. Sorry :(

  • @kaalapanchi9107

    @kaalapanchi9107

    4 жыл бұрын

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @marysemiaa8720

    @marysemiaa8720

    4 жыл бұрын

    😂😂😂

  • @EasyBreazyB

    @EasyBreazyB

    4 жыл бұрын

    I guess there has to be a balance, sometimes he chasing her, sometimes she chasing him.

  • @anuradhachaudhary5734
    @anuradhachaudhary57348 жыл бұрын

    There is nothing sexier then minding your own business....that was the best part...such an wonderful answer!!

  • @anuradhachaudhary5734

    @anuradhachaudhary5734

    8 жыл бұрын

    +The Smoker Not every one is destined like you. I do agree with you. But it was only the case when some one really loves you...one cannot spend his/her whole life chasing someone. So its better to give your best to your own life first rather bothering about someone who takes you for granted.

  • @kimgordon3695

    @kimgordon3695

    2 жыл бұрын

    💝💝💝

  • @roseann_ramos6434
    @roseann_ramos64349 жыл бұрын

    don't try so hard!.. focus on yourself make a better version of you!.. don't make yourself always available, be busy enough to do other stuff.. make him wonder, show him you have more important things to do rather than being with him.. "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

  • @MouthwashTyphoon

    @MouthwashTyphoon

    4 жыл бұрын

    It also makes people lose interest if they think you don’t care about them.

  • @kurisktan

    @kurisktan

    4 жыл бұрын

    Treat your partner as you treat your bestfriend.

  • @strawberries23

    @strawberries23

    4 жыл бұрын

    I agree

  • @TilskKarishma

    @TilskKarishma

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@kurisktan then they will always keep only a friend... sadly

  • @justinnaarden9290

    @justinnaarden9290

    4 жыл бұрын

    " show him you have more important things to do rather than being with him.." Definetly dont do this lmfao....This will set you up to live a lonely life trust me on that.....However you can show him that you are not always available....Bad advice..

  • @Daemonenkoenigin13
    @Daemonenkoenigin135 жыл бұрын

    And women are complicated? I just want a guy who likes me back as much as I like him, I dont want to play this "look how busy I am ain't that sexy?" game. Thats really frustrating

  • @elenaruth9682

    @elenaruth9682

    5 жыл бұрын

    100% agree. It's so frustrating, especially when he is better at that game himself.

  • @ThePsychicFish

    @ThePsychicFish

    5 жыл бұрын

    If show all your cards too soon some guys lose interest. On to the next one if you ask me...

  • @davidw2433

    @davidw2433

    4 жыл бұрын

    And immature

  • @nanalightbright

    @nanalightbright

    4 жыл бұрын

    Daemonenkoenigin13 girl 🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @andredshn

    @andredshn

    4 жыл бұрын

    Agreed

  • @zoeybarnett374
    @zoeybarnett3748 жыл бұрын

    SO ignore a guy and they like you.......but actually focus on him he doesn't like you.......... Men say girls are hard to understand.

  • @cute.poison

    @cute.poison

    7 жыл бұрын

    Zoey Barnett so true!! Ahahah

  • @gbessone

    @gbessone

    6 жыл бұрын

    I think this advise goes totally both ways. Most of matt's videos should be gender neutral actually because they work so well regardless of wether you are the girl or the guy on the relationship

  • @bdbcyan6698

    @bdbcyan6698

    5 жыл бұрын

    Zoey Barnett if a girl ignores me I feel like she doesn’t like me I think it’s best to be somewhere in the middle like don’t be to clingy but don’t ignore him

  • @kellyratana7348

    @kellyratana7348

    5 жыл бұрын

    The knowledge that he is shearing is actually from his experience dating woman so....

  • @LaNoturna

    @LaNoturna

    5 жыл бұрын

    Zoey Barnett He shared his own experience on how when he tried too hard with a girl he liked, she didn't like him back, but girls he didn't try hard with and was just himself with did like him. So I'm not understanding how you're making this a gender issue when he clearly discussed how it happens to both men and women.

  • @Gerelisf
    @Gerelisf8 жыл бұрын

    I love to hire Matthew to just talk into my ear all the time.

  • @andygiroux2848

    @andygiroux2848

    8 жыл бұрын

    what

  • @muznmadani3387

    @muznmadani3387

    8 жыл бұрын

    me too lmao

  • @Synthesiser91

    @Synthesiser91

    8 жыл бұрын

    +Gerelis Feliz I'd like him to do more than talk in my ear :P

  • @CellGames2006

    @CellGames2006

    7 жыл бұрын

    These 4 comments are a small universe of how you get the girl and how guys don't get it.

  • @jasmineflower9127

    @jasmineflower9127

    7 жыл бұрын

    I agree! he's super sexy and cute! 😄

  • @cfawn311
    @cfawn3118 жыл бұрын

    I wish I could have my own personal Matthew to just talk sense into me when I start worrying about things!

  • @idontknowwhatmyusernamesho7164

    @idontknowwhatmyusernamesho7164

    6 жыл бұрын

    Clare Fawn SAME

  • @zaizeleiful

    @zaizeleiful

    5 жыл бұрын

    love ur username ;)

  • @centuryfiles9558

    @centuryfiles9558

    5 жыл бұрын

    Clare Fawn we need Matt personal robots

  • @meralEdwtDawlatly

    @meralEdwtDawlatly

    5 жыл бұрын

    I need that at the moment

  • @frenchkissme83

    @frenchkissme83

    5 жыл бұрын

    Right? 👍

  • @EdzDayuha
    @EdzDayuha4 жыл бұрын

    “The one for you will like you as much as you like him.” Never waste time figuring out how to get him to like you, instead focus on upgrading yourself! ❤️ love you Matthew 😍

  • @medycc1970

    @medycc1970

    3 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely, he's not the only man in the world.

  • @jamespatrick5750

    @jamespatrick5750

    3 жыл бұрын

    Contact him on whatsaap...

  • @jamespatrick5750

    @jamespatrick5750

    3 жыл бұрын

    +2349 13 04 3 3078

  • @maddyharvey7414
    @maddyharvey74147 жыл бұрын

    When he said hi to Sarah and asked how she was I melted. He's such a sweet heart.

  • @jessicavincent2450

    @jessicavincent2450

    6 жыл бұрын

    Maddy Harvey true

  • @Joy-is-me
    @Joy-is-me9 жыл бұрын

    The woman caller sounds so sweet :)

  • @aifujiwara894
    @aifujiwara8949 жыл бұрын

    PUT IN MIND: IF HIS NOT INTO YOU RIGHT NOW...NO AMOUNT OF TRYING IS GONNA CHANGE THAT...

  • @artsyhyd

    @artsyhyd

    5 жыл бұрын

    ai fujiwara 👍👍👍 leave the guy alone 😂

  • @katiehunt3083

    @katiehunt3083

    4 жыл бұрын

    Act like you don't give a crap....and he'll love you enormously. Act like you care, forget it....he's outta here.

  • @poupeebantu9064

    @poupeebantu9064

    2 жыл бұрын

    😂😂😂😂😂 You are violent..

  • @funnyremyfrench
    @funnyremyfrench8 жыл бұрын

    I think he's very smart and kind complimenting on her energy.

  • @IAMCHIDERA
    @IAMCHIDERA3 жыл бұрын

    ‘What you’re feeling is a real feeling’ I absolutely love the validation

  • @timcook4552
    @timcook45527 жыл бұрын

    "If he is not into you right now, there is no amount of trying that can change now." This is really good!

  • @sarahbushey2444
    @sarahbushey24448 жыл бұрын

    My husband and I have been married almost 12 years and when I look back, it was when I was working, or taking care of our babies, or trying a new hobby, or going back to school for my degree that I magically became the most attractive to him. When I'm hunched over my chemistry homework, he won't leave me alone! Hussey nailed it.

  • @stephanbarnard6898

    @stephanbarnard6898

    6 жыл бұрын

    Sarah Bushey how did you get over the seven year relationship slump in your marriage?

  • @maddynabs8968

    @maddynabs8968

    4 жыл бұрын

    Masha Allah

  • @How.Dare.You.
    @How.Dare.You.8 жыл бұрын

    bless this guy for saving my love life

  • @miechristiansen3237
    @miechristiansen32378 жыл бұрын

    I remember watching this video a little while back when I had some problems with the guy I dated. Back then it ended up being me who always called him and was asking him out instead of him also calling and asking me. I could feel him getting more and more distant, almost like he didn't like me anymore and we had a little fight. So I decided to 'change the game' after watching this video and I straight up left him alone by not texting him or calling him, and after two weeks he came back saying how much he missed me, and that he had taking me for granted and he apologized over and over and said he hopefully now could show me how much he likes me. So thank you Matthew for your always great advice!

  • @iga2226

    @iga2226

    6 жыл бұрын

    damn_girl. good for You👌

  • @RiRi-hk3ev

    @RiRi-hk3ev

    6 жыл бұрын

    Mie Christiansen did u talk to him at all for the two weeks or u totally ignored him?

  • @maix139

    @maix139

    6 жыл бұрын

    Yup make em work for it lol

  • @Shadowsong10

    @Shadowsong10

    5 жыл бұрын

    @Sweetie Bellie what worth.Women you are not special

  • @quirogatnonerrat3214

    @quirogatnonerrat3214

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@RiRi-hk3ev he did not talk back to her till about 2 weeks passed. She didn't ignore him, she just didn't do the first step. He also did not feel her absence till 2 weeks later!

  • @orth82
    @orth828 жыл бұрын

    This was one of the best answers I've ever heard. Very insightful and helpful. And that "he likes me but it's his friend I'm interested in" thing is so totally true.

  • @poppyorangeflower

    @poppyorangeflower

    6 жыл бұрын

    Careful. He'll only like your friend.

  • @jcchen5356
    @jcchen53569 жыл бұрын

    I used to do think like that: chasing is not sexy. So, the young and naive me used to play this game and missed some good guys. However, now I've seen many success and failure cases from myself and people around me, and opinion changed. I now appreciate people know what they want. I think that is not only hot and full of passion, but indication of them knowing what they want. I've seen long lasting couples (30+ years). The husband and wife still acted like they just met and crazy in love - flowers, cakes, unconditionally supporting each other.... So, I I will say: if you are interested in me, come over! If not, let's look for love somewhere else. I am not attracted to 'cool' guys anymore.

  • @patrickbateman1610

    @patrickbateman1610

    9 жыл бұрын

    Wow, you clearly did not the get message at all. Talk about being simple minded and viewing things as black and white.

  • @jcchen5356

    @jcchen5356

    9 жыл бұрын

    Patrick Bateman Yep, right. Clearly you have not got my message that I've tried that before and I regretted it. There are many complicated thing in the world already. Look around the world: there are many types of love. I just want the simple way. Simple to the extreme: many of my friends from India didn't even got to know their partner until they engaged. But both parties followed strictly the simple rule: to be nice to the other party, do whatever you can for the good of the family. And they are perfectly happy even when they come to the US. Of course this would not work if only one party is doing that.I've worked/be friends with people from 40+ countries and even more cultures. So even I do not agree with Matt in this message, I just stated my personal experience and not accusing him anything since I know how to respect. It is good to travel around the world.

  • @patrickbateman1610

    @patrickbateman1610

    9 жыл бұрын

    You seem to have gotten his message totally wrong. He's not talking about not being nice or being nonchalant just for the sake of it.

  • @chelseac1010
    @chelseac10105 жыл бұрын

    "You liking him has nothing to do with caring about whether he likes you." that just changed my life 😅thank you Matthew!

  • @mariaelda6271
    @mariaelda62717 жыл бұрын

    The one who is actually right for me will want me as much as I want him. Ahhhh...how truthfully basic yet often overlooked.

  • @themilkaint4free
    @themilkaint4free4 жыл бұрын

    "He sees a different version of you." instead of the comfortable real you! Wow, great feedback!

  • @valentinaeagle5152
    @valentinaeagle51528 жыл бұрын

    I agree, just focus on yourself, your life, your happiness without depending on the guy.

  • @kheperasekmet5197

    @kheperasekmet5197

    4 жыл бұрын

    Maybe I need to go golfing brunches or something Not seeing the' dream guy ' Like we say after we graduated college

  • @ellieclark6246
    @ellieclark62468 жыл бұрын

    He is a genius, and the absolute cutest.

  • @hodayaraki3782
    @hodayaraki37828 жыл бұрын

    His words were life changing for me. Never change yourself for no one be yourself always.The right person will love you just the way you're!!Thank you for reminding me❤️

  • @CellGames2006
    @CellGames20069 жыл бұрын

    Matthew's videos are secretly behavioral tips for guys. Listen how he compliments girls on anything positive he senses. That makes them feel better. Okay, some might be fruitcakes to begin with, but there are clues there any one of us can learn. I've learned it pays to give girls small compliments like that. It doesn't always have to be about getting laid. It makes you feel good on the inside.

  • @ninjabreadgirl

    @ninjabreadgirl

    9 жыл бұрын

    So true!

  • @oopalonga

    @oopalonga

    9 жыл бұрын

    CellGames2006 bro, why da fuq u think im here? ; ) plus, know thy enemy = P

  • @Misslotusification

    @Misslotusification

    7 жыл бұрын

    Goes both ways guys :-)

  • @funnyremyfrench

    @funnyremyfrench

    6 жыл бұрын

    I think he started off by giving guys advice and coaching on how to date girls, then I guess girls' money is always easier to make... so he switched to giving girls advice.

  • @CellGames2006

    @CellGames2006

    6 жыл бұрын

    Plus he's also a good looking british guy that makes girls swoon. So it's a win-win.

  • @ChuangSarah
    @ChuangSarah4 жыл бұрын

    "You liking him has nothing to do with you caring about whether he likes you" I need a moment with this 😳

  • @bsempasa
    @bsempasa7 жыл бұрын

    This is affirmation. I was starting to slip again. It's easy when you catch feelings and run away with them and he gets comfortable. Thanks Matthew.

  • @angelika1696
    @angelika16967 жыл бұрын

    How can you answer every question so quickly and so right and deep?!) I mean you are just above smart

  • @jamespatrick5750

    @jamespatrick5750

    3 жыл бұрын

    Contact him on whatsaap...

  • @jamespatrick5750

    @jamespatrick5750

    3 жыл бұрын

    +2349 13 04 3 3078

  • @evaistheway
    @evaistheway8 жыл бұрын

    You got to fill the space with your own passions and motives instead of what connects you two together. There's nothing sexier than a person who doesn't care how you feel about them. I like you, I do my own thing but you liking me back doesn't change anything.

  • @jengildz9104

    @jengildz9104

    3 жыл бұрын

    Well yeah...of course. But what if you, are 44 ..and.....damn.......if u meet someone u think is special....u want to be around them.

  • @dylanbuchman8128
    @dylanbuchman81289 жыл бұрын

    There's one thing you said here that kind of stands out as like a single, very simple thing you can remember that I feel is infinitely valuable--you liking him has nothing to do with you caring whether or not he likes you. Favorite moment in this video.

  • @foxfur8327

    @foxfur8327

    4 жыл бұрын

    True for both sexes. Most like to feel they have won their own prize if they like someone, but if chased they feel their partner has captured them and most hate that entrapped feeling. There's nothing more repulsive, and often even dangerous, than a clinging stalker who won't allow a partner some freedom and hounds them constantly about wherebouts, etc. Also, unless a man really cares about a woman, he would more likely rather be out with his buddies than listen to senseless female chit chat. Most guys hate small talk from women they aren't interested in but may tolerate it if they think the woman will put out sexually. Secretly they actually resent easy women, knowing that easy women are likely diseased from spreading their legs for every other man as well. Don't forget that most people on the world have herpes and most won't know about it until their immune system drops. By then they may assume they got it from the last partner they had sex with when they could have developed it years before and actually spread it themselves to others.

  • @akshaypradeep105
    @akshaypradeep1057 жыл бұрын

    Matthew is great at his job and it's commendable how he is able to make a career out of his passion. I think no one can do what he does unless they have an abiding love and respect for women, like he does. It's great to see a guy who loves women in all ways and forms. That's not something you see often.

  • @Garland67
    @Garland678 жыл бұрын

    If he pulls away this soon, it means he's losing interest. Simple as that. These tow could slow down and date more casually. He might have met someone else he likes more.

  • @vamanosninja4143

    @vamanosninja4143

    6 жыл бұрын

    Julia Hrivnak The last part I think.

  • @medycc1970

    @medycc1970

    3 жыл бұрын

    i think so... you are right

  • @karolka144
    @karolka1447 жыл бұрын

    Matthew really liked Sarah. The way he smiles at the end gives it all away 😊

  • @sansm6297

    @sansm6297

    6 жыл бұрын

    Yes, I thought so too

  • @lovemecom3832
    @lovemecom38326 жыл бұрын

    It's true that in order to move on and live life the way you want is to focus on yourself, improve yourself, your life and continue the things you want to do. Thank you so much matthew for giving us inspirational advice.

  • @ameliamotiki1790
    @ameliamotiki17907 жыл бұрын

    men are so complicated and confusing at the same time

  • @jaye3992

    @jaye3992

    7 жыл бұрын

    Amelia Motiki so are we

  • @malikahe5003

    @malikahe5003

    5 жыл бұрын

    Totally!!!

  • @JosannaMonik

    @JosannaMonik

    3 жыл бұрын

    I don't think that men are more complicated than us women, they are just different. We value love and commitment, while they tend to value value freedom and independence. That is why they tend to be more attracted to independent women who are not too needy.

  • @whatwhatwhatwhat3953
    @whatwhatwhatwhat39537 жыл бұрын

    There's a common misconception amongst most men about building a solid foundation for a relationship with his woman. He thinks that if he does something impressive, and the woman compliments him, the woman instantly falls inlove. Probably because most women are very expressive, sometimes they express things that they don't mean. The strongest foundation that you can build with your partner is acceptance. That even if you don't impress me, please me with efforts, buy me gifts and kneel infront of me. If he sees that you accept him for he is himself, and he finds comfort being with you without being conscious that he's gonna say something wrong, then he will stay committed to you. I know that I'm kinda stereotyping, but I just think that relationships don't last because people can't show their true self at the beginning with the consciousness of turning off the person they like. At the end of the day, you will reveal your true self with your partner. Acceptance is key.

  • @chizee3945

    @chizee3945

    5 жыл бұрын

    Cohn Jena So we are to accept their BS right?

  • @pollypockets508

    @pollypockets508

    5 жыл бұрын

    chizee 3 That's not what he said at all.

  • @chizee3945

    @chizee3945

    5 жыл бұрын

    Polly Pockets So what exactly is he saying. I have a boyfriend (and I'm using that term loosely now) who says he'll call me but then doesn't. And then carries on the next minute like nothing happened. I am to accept this and be labelled a door mat right?

  • @xLegendaryPictures

    @xLegendaryPictures

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@chizee3945 Yes, because you let him carry on the next minute like nothing happened. There is no way my gf gets away with treating me badly. Ill bring it up until we have discussed it. It doesnt happen often, and our relationship is the most wonderful I could ever imagine, but people hurt people. Not necessarily because they want to hurt them, but because they are not good at vocalizing things, or many other reasons. All I can tell you is to talk about it. Dont let him get away with treating you badly, because then you are inviting him to treat you badly again. Also give them the feeling of being accepted. Its absurd, but the times I feel amongst the most attraction to my gf is when she farts. I love it, because she invites me to treat her well and be accepting, which I am. That goes for everything that might be unacceptable in society, or might be something someone is ashamed of.

  • @kimgordon3695

    @kimgordon3695

    2 жыл бұрын

    Well said 💝

  • @adrianekay1
    @adrianekay19 жыл бұрын

    It's really annoying how right Matt is about everything.

  • @mrinalgadhade9304
    @mrinalgadhade93047 жыл бұрын

    You know Matt, you should start coaching for guys too now

  • @wanitaw132

    @wanitaw132

    5 жыл бұрын

    Agree

  • @ivanvlasic988

    @ivanvlasic988

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@wanitaw132 no he shouldn't, maybe for the gays his simping words might work

  • @selekumomaciver4602

    @selekumomaciver4602

    5 жыл бұрын

    True

  • @noramuldowney1286

    @noramuldowney1286

    4 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely

  • @joolspools777

    @joolspools777

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@ivanvlasic988 Yes, maybe he'd have to make some changes and I think he is intelligent enough to realise that. Do you think he could do it?

  • @iulioana
    @iulioana7 жыл бұрын

    the existence of all these great videos demonstrates how difficult is to deal with men

  • @Spongebob12xc
    @Spongebob12xc7 жыл бұрын

    Love this one! The woman who called in just sounded like wifey material, she's so warm and sweet over the phone. And loved matts advice to her!

  • @miliaparicio6451
    @miliaparicio64518 жыл бұрын

    I agree 100 and infinity percent. God wants us to love ourselves more than anyone else. To respect each and every aspect of our uniqueness. We are all important and we're all part of this extraordinary living experience. 😊

  • @gail_7192
    @gail_71927 жыл бұрын

    I really like the way you give advice without making people feel bad. Good honesty with respect!Thanks Mathew

  • @katharinameyer604
    @katharinameyer6042 жыл бұрын

    My heart melted right in the beginning, the way you answered the call and her energy… heartwarming

  • @padegra
    @padegra7 жыл бұрын

    I've seen this video so many times. It's important to remember that it's not only about him liking you but also about you liking him and not giving up on your priorities for a guy you just met. If he wants to be a priority he will make sure he becomes one. Thanks Matt :)

  • @jaderhodes3002
    @jaderhodes30029 жыл бұрын

    I've been feeling this same way with a guy right now. This helped so so much

  • @1stevecy
    @1stevecy6 жыл бұрын

    I love this video. I watch it a lot because I'm a people pleaser, and I'm trying to kick that mentality. The advice is applicable to so many different aspects of social anxiety and worrying about someone liking you or not. I've been practicing not caring whether people like me or not and watching this reminds me of why I need to keep doing that.

  • @kimnapped3091
    @kimnapped30913 жыл бұрын

    I love the way you built this woman up. She absolutely has a positive energy and I hope she can see how likable she is! Great advice, once again

  • @CoriTripCPetersen
    @CoriTripCPetersen7 жыл бұрын

    So glad I've come back to this video Matt. While the concept of not trying TOO hard is easy, actually understanding nuance or application is is not so easy. The REAL breakthrough moment in this video is realizing the fact that your desire for a person does not commit you to have get approval. The mere idea that their attention to me is disconnected from my level of caring for them is novel. Just because I like someone does not mean that I have to really care so much about if they like me or not! It seems obvious almost but it absolutely is not obvious. Upon analysing the idea, again it is almost simplistic but not until you do look deeper. If you you've never delved into the area let alone the specifics, you'll likely not have the opportunity to realize this simple truth. I like you, however that has no real relation to you liking me unless I make it so. Us "making it so," appears to be our default position on the matter so that is why this is not self evident without analysis. Thank you Matt for being a coach for the most difficult landscape we can negotiate, personal relationships.

  • @hwang7371
    @hwang73719 жыл бұрын

    Everything I need to hear now!! I just pushed him away by being too eager. Life is such a long journey, you're right, we should zoom out and focus on ourselves.

  • @edmonianash6973
    @edmonianash69738 жыл бұрын

    thank you so much! I really needed that because I know I guy who likes me but he sometimes ignores me and makes me feel like I have to try harder for his attention, but in doing that sometimes it pulls guys away. I just gotta keep doing me and focus on me and not caring what he thinks but still like him in the process.

  • @mnsyh999
    @mnsyh9997 жыл бұрын

    can we just be our self? tired of chasing people, bye

  • @anonymousperson1327

    @anonymousperson1327

    5 жыл бұрын

    Please be yourself. That's exactly the point Matt is making here!

  • @user-jf4xi4tv3q

    @user-jf4xi4tv3q

    5 жыл бұрын

    He litearlly said focus on yourself 💀

  • @user-jf4xi4tv3q

    @user-jf4xi4tv3q

    5 жыл бұрын

    @wackaxx peepoh matt didn't say "act", for a guy who pulls away, he said it'd be better if you really dont care if he likes u or not cause you'll be focusing on yourself.

  • @amaliaamalia8687

    @amaliaamalia8687

    4 жыл бұрын

    Is it really being yourself if you’re being yourself with an ulterior motive?

  • @riseabove5060

    @riseabove5060

    3 жыл бұрын

    LMAO

  • @cjgem80
    @cjgem808 жыл бұрын

    Wow, you really hit the nail on the head! Love how you are articulate and to the point. You definitely give off a genuine, easygoing vibe that does not come across as easily for most. Thank you so much for the advice!

  • @galexynotprovided9945
    @galexynotprovided99459 жыл бұрын

    I loved this segment. And the reason is that Matt inspired me to think of something on my own. I kept thinking Matt was going to say that she was worrying so much about if he liked her, that she wasn't paying attention to his qualities, or lack there of and therefore, if she liked him. I also remember a video Matt did a long time ago. He said when we get to like someone, we now are concerned that they validate us. Where as before that wasn't the case.

  • @alexandrastratanphotographer
    @alexandrastratanphotographer8 жыл бұрын

    i appreciate your transparency and depth

  • @CoriTripCPetersen

    @CoriTripCPetersen

    7 жыл бұрын

    Well put.

  • @Kindri9
    @Kindri96 жыл бұрын

    I love listening to you. Even though I've been with my husband for a looooong time, all of your advice is so great! A lot of it translates to existing relationships and things that people do in committed relationships that may turn each other off or hurt each other or just not be great to keep things going. So thank you.

  • @jvstkiki
    @jvstkiki4 жыл бұрын

    I remember watching this video when I was single thinking I’m be better than this lady and now I’m in the same boat as her. I swear Matt’s videos is Relevant today as it was in the passed too. Love it! 👌👌

  • @rosealexandria
    @rosealexandria3 жыл бұрын

    I like how he acknowledged her delightful energy. 10% of life is what happens, 90% is how we react. Can’t let guys dim your light. Gotta keep shining so Mr.Right can see you

  • @shavindikarunarathna8534
    @shavindikarunarathna85344 жыл бұрын

    I really love watching his videos. Because for me I started appling those techniques for most of my relationships whether it's my family , friends or neighbors .. and it helped be in boosting up my confidence and respect . Due to these videos I started to realize my own worth .. I frequently watch them just to get a better understanding of how to successfully cope in life as a woman. I'm truly grateful for it.

  • @awake8256
    @awake82566 жыл бұрын

    You're so good, Matt. I tell all my friends about you, and we've all moved to better and better relationships with guys and each other.

  • @rosettekarungi139
    @rosettekarungi1394 жыл бұрын

    Wow you have actually saved me a tonne of emotional energy worrying about a certain guy that I like. I have been freed literally

  • @lisabennett2786
    @lisabennett27869 жыл бұрын

    Matt, I am amazed that you have such wisdom at your age. Thank you so much for sharing it with so many people! We need your help. Bless your heart.

  • @briannabombshell1921
    @briannabombshell19218 жыл бұрын

    Why does he do radio? A face like that he needs his own talk show.

  • @MTBR077

    @MTBR077

    5 жыл бұрын

    Or else he'll steal all the women looking for help.

  • @Ktvanada

    @Ktvanada

    5 жыл бұрын

    Right

  • @calliecutsinger5222
    @calliecutsinger52226 жыл бұрын

    I love watching Matthews videos. It seems like Everytime I think of something I may need help with, I find a video without even searching for it that gives me the answer I've been searching for.

  • @annachmielewska4572
    @annachmielewska45724 жыл бұрын

    Matthew you are genuine and genius. Thank you for being honest with us and helping us to love ourselves more.

  • @TheELSABABY
    @TheELSABABY7 жыл бұрын

    This one hit home, hard. I used to do this all the time, trying to fit myself to what the guy wanted me to be, instead of just being myself. And it's true, when I wasn't into someone they would like me more than the guys I really wanted, because I was myself around the guys I didn't want to date. This is why I have been celibate for 5 years, and hope that this time around, when I get out there again, I can be myself. Get out of my own head, stop analyzing every little thing a guy says or does, because if he doesn't like the real me there's NO WAY he can be the guy for me.

  • @subiyaamreen3023
    @subiyaamreen30234 жыл бұрын

    "I like this person and I don't give a crap if he likes me or not ,I like him regardless" I needed to hear this

  • @WetNosesHappyTails
    @WetNosesHappyTails5 жыл бұрын

    I needed this rn. I've been talking to this guy and we do like each other. I'm always there for him and I feel like it's too much. I crave for his attention, so every time he needs me I'm there. I needed to hear this because I should know my worth and value my time. If he really likes me, he'll be there.

  • @MA-eq5hv
    @MA-eq5hv3 жыл бұрын

    I love you Matthew! I have seen a lot of your videos but that only just touched me! I just realise how right your are! You can get mad at someone because you like them more than they like you, is your feeling! That helped me so much💕 You are amazing!!

  • @artistevivien
    @artistevivien3 жыл бұрын

    The part where he said to keep being her energetic self really resonated with me. I’m usually bubbly but recently because of a guy I’ve been sort of chasing, I’ve become morose and dejected without realizing it. I need to go with the other guy who makes me feel like I’m perfect the way I am… it’s just so difficult because I like the first guy way better hah

  • @TheCallmom
    @TheCallmom6 жыл бұрын

    This episode spoke too me so much. The ugly friends fallin for you cuz ur being urself around them and the personality being stifled when around women u actually like.

  • @sloganfreesociety
    @sloganfreesociety5 жыл бұрын

    So many gems in this one. I love that other viewers have quoted the best lines.

  • @mahimarosevalentina3095
    @mahimarosevalentina30957 жыл бұрын

    He is Gerard Butler from The Ugly Truth!!!! :D

  • @bluntpencils
    @bluntpencils9 жыл бұрын

    I really needed to hear this,Matt. Perfect timing!!!

  • @laylasmith168
    @laylasmith1684 жыл бұрын

    Your videos are so incredibly uplifting. Thank you so much. My mood changed so much after watching this

  • @julieannajones98
    @julieannajones988 жыл бұрын

    This is some of the best advice I've ever heard! Really hits the nail on the head!! Hard to do, because it feels counter-intuitive, but totally makes sense.

  • @RetroSoulGirl
    @RetroSoulGirl9 жыл бұрын

    WOW this was one of the best advice videos I have ever seen I am just completely mind blown! I had to watch it at least 3 more times to fully understand it all though (and remember it lol)

  • @laurabethvillarreal6345
    @laurabethvillarreal63459 жыл бұрын

    Matt has helped me more than any other marriage therapist! I'm a follower of the Bible so I save certain things for marriage, but I have found his advice on relationships to be VERY accurate and helpful, even for people like me! So, thanks Matt!

  • @avinolanakazwe6170

    @avinolanakazwe6170

    2 жыл бұрын

    Same!

  • @evekansas1464
    @evekansas14648 жыл бұрын

    Matthew you such a blessing to the world,society,

  • @DennyDraganova
    @DennyDraganova7 жыл бұрын

    When I listened to this a couple of months ago I couldn't get it as clearly as now when I'm in the exact same situation. This made so much sense. Matt is the best 🙆

  • @evahoffmann5683
    @evahoffmann56835 жыл бұрын

    Dude, this helped me so much on an exponential level! This is amazing advice that I feel like everyone should hear and follow!

  • @erikafigueroa5128
    @erikafigueroa51284 жыл бұрын

    Love this! On both ends it shouldn't be difficult to see one another. However, if they both have their interests and responsibilities there's nothing wrong with saying hey I have responsibilities, let's coordinate like she did. I also agree with him, neither should make their entire world around the other person. Which is where she was headed. Obsessing about the situation, the guy, analyzing it to death, and not doing what makes her happy. Like any relationship, if you're starting a friendship and that person stops texting and calling, I'll follow up. but if I didn't do anything wrong or expects me to run after them or always communicate then it's one sided. And yes there are individuals who do this in friendships.

  • @eeemotion
    @eeemotion6 жыл бұрын

    This really touched me, thank you Matthew and to the caller and everyone else for sharing, caring and daring!

  • @karo.linaaaa
    @karo.linaaaa4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your knowledge and you're kind words! He really know how to communicate your messages in such a loving way 💜

  • @TheInevitableSloth
    @TheInevitableSloth9 жыл бұрын

    lol my name is sarah and i had this exact question

  • @ssoomee

    @ssoomee

    9 жыл бұрын

    same here! Sarahs with questions!

  • @coachdrew82

    @coachdrew82

    9 жыл бұрын

    ssoo mee TheInevitableSloth Sarahs rock.

  • @dellibby5447
    @dellibby54476 жыл бұрын

    This is always the case! The one guy you want, you with draw and become too self conscious of yourself. Then with the person you're just thinking about them as a "friend" you're more yourself. There's a nervousness with the guy you really want to be with. How do you get over that!!!!!?????

  • @claudian7515
    @claudian75155 жыл бұрын

    You are really amazing Mathew, thank you very much for this message. I have same problem as her and I feel so crazy because it steels away my peace of mind and keeps me worried, but I got relief after getting your response about how to handle such situation, and I will do just that😍😍 Thank you again.

  • @kristinbarcelona5829
    @kristinbarcelona58297 жыл бұрын

    101% agree with you. I love ur advice, whoever having a problm right now about love will absolutely u lift them up...

  • @mariegrant8425
    @mariegrant84258 жыл бұрын

    This puts a lot of things into perspective with guys I deal with: there's the "hey we've had two great convos and now i'm catching feeling this is scary and too soon so let me pull away for a while", the " Guy that is too eager to flirt and you have a thing for their friend", " the I'm attracted to her but I'm not ready for a relationship in my life right now so let's just see where it goes and maybe it will develop later " the " I really really like her but I dont want to tell her so ill just get my friend to do it. opps now its too late I have a gf" the " classic college hookup" etc.

  • @hahahamaxine
    @hahahamaxine7 жыл бұрын

    this is really good advice fuck me

  • @Vixentopnotes

    @Vixentopnotes

    7 жыл бұрын

    😂😂😂😂 I know right!

  • @Jesusmyheroe

    @Jesusmyheroe

    7 жыл бұрын

    maxine lol me too!!

  • @vishuyadav9635
    @vishuyadav96357 жыл бұрын

    thank u so much Matthew, it's really helpful for me ! was very disappointed because of my husband who never shows his love to me and I love him very much but he don't really care about me, after watching you on KZread oh my god.. this is really really helpful and I'm feeling the peace and now I don't care! he have to get back to me thank you so much for the healthy knowledge of life,.. you are so very wonderful person ever see! love you

  • @teacherjennyla2521
    @teacherjennyla25215 жыл бұрын

    Awesome advices, Matt!:) You're a wise, uplifting relationship coaching hero! Kudos to you for making a difference in many lives and making your career dream come true!!

  • @evepagan5727
    @evepagan57277 жыл бұрын

    Thank Jesus for giving you a gift to know how to advice people on what really matters when it comes to relationships!! Never lose who you are trying to convince a man or women to like you!

  • @americahealth
    @americahealth9 жыл бұрын

    Great advice given to the caller.

  • @chelseasonkar2907
    @chelseasonkar29076 жыл бұрын

    This is my favourite video of yours Matt, both you and Sarah, super advice and great energy, i'm going through Sarah's situation right now and this was the reminder I needed, thank you soooo much!! xox

  • @genevievesarcon6405
    @genevievesarcon64054 жыл бұрын

    Matthew! You are soooo gorgeous because your facial expressions just shows sincerity and genuineness.

  • @samurilip
    @samurilip7 жыл бұрын

    it doesnt push me away when a girl trys to hard. its a compliment! wish more women were like that

  • @ashsqx3246

    @ashsqx3246

    7 жыл бұрын

    SoWhoaWolf any girl who pursues a guy is humiliated and stigmatised for being a psycho desperate clingy possessive stalker which is even worse than being branded as a sl*t

  • @samurilip

    @samurilip

    7 жыл бұрын

    well i welcome psychos in my life as long as the attraction is mutual, so thats in your head. not in mine. however if a woman is slutty? (not a easy thing to realize). i would more than likely steer clear of her. then again i havent had sex in 13 months so i might go for it.

  • @Catglittercrafts

    @Catglittercrafts

    5 жыл бұрын

    I wish more guys would appreciate it.

  • @foxfur8327

    @foxfur8327

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@samurilip , if the attraction is mutual you may be psycho yourself.

  • @foxfur8327

    @foxfur8327

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@Catglittercrafts , a popular guy will likely not appreciate it because he is used to being chased and wants to do his own chasing and feel he has picked out his own prize, but a less popular one might appreciate it because he may be desperate for sex.

Келесі