I was visiting my newly married uncle in 90s. I was a school going kid. My new aunt was the first working woman in the family. She had just come from work. My uncle asked her to make tea. My uneducated grandmother yelled at her son "She is doing your part, by earning money now you have to do her part by helping her with household work, she is just as tired as you are after working in her office". My late grandma who was born in 1934, was a feminist and loved all her daughter- in- laws. She had 6 sons and my mother and my aunts dont have anything negative to say about her.

@ankitamishra0405

5 ай бұрын

Wow amazing ❤.....wish to have such elder women in life

@anurajagopal357

5 ай бұрын

Beautiful. I have seen the same with my grandmother. That was a sorted generation. The ones who came in 50s and later for some reason are messed up ..

@dkfitnesstube

Ай бұрын

Devta thi Tumhare Grandma

@silviarodrigues3304

Ай бұрын

@@dkfitnesstube *devi... yes she was... she had the most calm and peaceful smile. She radiated peace.

@ranjitdhinsa8603

13 күн бұрын

Salute to her

Problem in our culture is that elders are never wrong !!! Sir, lot of children go into depression but do not tell their parents that they want to live separately for fear of what other people will say .

@manjulahs5657

Жыл бұрын

We are not brought up in this manner. Whatever happens we take care of our elders and children and relatives and society and our country and values

@shivanginipathak3347

Жыл бұрын

Problem is conditioning that parents are correct and evil resides in the children not realising that it's the older generation which sometimes is rigid and doesn't want to change. And it's a harsh truth dusre ki aulaad ko koi pyar nahi karta, the Bahu won't ever get the love which her mother gives her. No matter how much you do there will always be something missing to please the entire clan of in law's. Best is opt for your financial independence have your own house in your own name and do not take shit from anyone. Kyon ki after their death akele khud ki counsellor ke chakkar lagane hote hain

@IamSoangelic

11 ай бұрын

😢भाई ये बंदा भी तो थी bolra झेला

@laroia1978

3 ай бұрын

Same here

Staying together is always a 'RECIPE' for disaster (in most cases). It's so good to stay at a distance and maintain healthy relationships.

@vartikavaish6377

Жыл бұрын

Agreee... duri se pyaar bana rahta hai

New Bahu k liye koi khana nhi banata . Sham ki chaye k liye bhi bahu ki wait ki jati h k kab ayegi or chaye banayegi. Morning ka nashta bna k Jana . Koi guest aa geya to uskha bhi bna k jao. Agar ghar se bahar bhi rehte h to har Saturday Sunday Ghar jao . Fir sabki baten suno parents ki sewa Kiya Karo . Bachhe ho gye to aeyge nhi hum apna ghar nhi chhod sakte. Dusri city main akele rho bache Palo job karo . Husband ka koi sath nhi. Parents financial koi help nhi karte. Apna kamaye g apna khaye g.

@nilinimagupta5311

Жыл бұрын

Meri bahu ko aaye ek saal ho gaya h .Main hamesha usko office ka tiffin aur breakfast chai banaker deti hu aur dinner k taiyyari bhi uske wapas aane se pehle karke rakh deti hu.uske aane per kadak chai banati hu aur wo kabhi apne room m jaker rest nahi karti balki hum chai peeker sofe per letter khoob gappe marte hai jab tak hum dono k husbands ghar aate hai. Uske baad bas 10-12 roti banane ka kaam karna hota h

@MeghaKaushik5678

Жыл бұрын

@@nilinimagupta5311 mam ye to apki achai he na.. bt har ksi k nasib me ap jese samjhdar lady nahi hoti na.. kitna b kamalo kitna b kaam krlo .. 2 roti k lie ginwaya jata he.. I am still happy K kisi k to bahu khush he .. stay happy stay blessed

@nilinimagupta5311

Жыл бұрын

​@@MeghaKaushik5678thank u megha & all the best for u 😊

@wtkc1290

Жыл бұрын

@@nilinimagupta5311apke jaise bohat kamm h . My mom is same as you

@wtkc1290

Жыл бұрын

@@MeghaKaushik5678 right ma'am

Good advice sir, working bahu and non working saas should never ever live together in the same house. The big problem will be saas will expect working bahu to do everything in the house because saas will always be reminding her of herself like” when I was a bahu I used to get up at 4 am to make breakfast for everyone, used to do laundry with my hands,used to cook dinner for everyone, on weekends I used to clean the whole house and also took care of the children” And saasu ma is expecting the same from her bahu, ignoring the point that bahu is earning and giving the max cash to the in laws. Want peace, happiness? Live separate, make visits to each other’s houses!

I have seen in Singapore, Chinese couples live as a neighbour with their parents..I felt awkward but now understand that is correct.

You are right I m 77 years old I was a working woman . But you are practical . I have listen to some other vedios . I m so fed up My children have grown up. I am living alone independently . I m very happy My husband living in another home My son Have different homes So we have three homes :)

You are right sir. Man wants to enjoy parents and wife both and dont want to take any responsiblity. But wife is suffering in all situation

In India, if the son abd wife are in the same city , they are supposed to live with parents. That's the mentality. One big fighting family.

@manjulahs5657

Жыл бұрын

Have patience

A working wife and mother living with in-laws is a candle burning at both ends at the same time.

@SourabhGautam-so5bo

9 ай бұрын

Ask this question 30 years later from your self

@akhilaadimulam1895

8 ай бұрын

@@SourabhGautam-so5bo So now what should a women in her place or similar place like me do

@strikersoccer9535

7 ай бұрын

Just try to keep both ends separate by continuously adding wax😏

I am working woman, we live in rented house apart from in-laws rather our in-laws house are very close to home and our both family are living happily.

@snehagaur3463

6 ай бұрын

Me tòo❤

Kudos to you for bringing such discussions and opening eyes of all generations. I make sure I never miss these and there are layers of learning throughout. Much appreciated 🙏

Guys of this generation r the worst …sir is absolutely correct . They wil take advantage of parents also n wife also and sit back doing nothing . Very point on

Excellent video on modern family problems! Very fair and practical advice to all the family members! 🙏🙏

Amazing case study series. Thank you sir for this video I have resolved my family problem on the basis of this problem....thanks a lot.

Waah Sir ji. Gazab clarity milti h apke videos se. 👏👏 Please cover the scenario of women who are working from home. Managing the kitchen thoroughly and not able to concentrate on job which they are paid for. Because everyone thinks- Ghar se hi toh kaam kar rhi h, 1 ghanta baad kr legi pehle yeh kr lo. In laws be like - full time maid hai ghar me lekin khana bahu k hath ka hi khayege ,cook k hath me swad nahi ata. And Bahu is not able to concentrate on office work due to all this.

@theunahime7446

Жыл бұрын

​@@ygp47 I hope you understand how fragile your job/career is to understand the current job climate and contemplate your comment. I have to deal with this every day with newborn sick MIL and uncooperative husband.

@bhawnahooda

Жыл бұрын

@@ygp47 good food will one from good earning. Not from the family where wife needs to giveup on the job for just cooking and kitchen households.

Sir thanks for your continued efforts to keep families together in a progressive way. You have a problem solved approach 🙌🏻

Excellent thoughts shared....much needed for the young generation Who face the age old traditional practices........you touched very practical aspects of marriage. Thanks.

Indian boys should marry only if they are capable to lead an indepedent life. My daughter is married to Marathi boy and he left her in my house after producing a child because my doninlaw never wanted to stay separately. I am retired without pension.

Exceptional video, fully agree with it. 👏MAG Amrit mera, Vish tumhara. Both side needs to understand that there will always be situation when either side needs the other. The situation need to be looked in totality. As a individual our success is not most of the times only because of us, it is because of the people who support us some times willing or sometimes unwilling but their contribution to our lifes can't be ignored. Gratitude is very important for what we have and always focus on improving our situation in life. We are sometimes not ready to pay the price for the facilities we aspire in life. I think there lies the problem. We want parents when we are in difficult situation but don't want them when we are having good times. We should take ownership of the choices we make in our life. There are choices and it consequences.

विषय और वर्णन अच्छा है । गेस्ट बन कर रहते हैं लेकिन आजकल सास खर्च मांगती है चाहे साथ रहो न रहो। घर के हर खर्चे में डोनेशन दो चाहे मामा की बेटी की शादी, चच्चा के बेटे की शादी। समझदार वही माता पिता हैं जो समय रहते बेटे बहु को अलग कर दो ताकि प्यार भी बना रहे और उन्हें ज़िन्दगी समझने का मौका मिले और वे परिपक्व हो जाये और अपनी जिम्म3दरियों का निर्वहन के4 सके। हमारे मां बाप ने 30 साल पहले हमें खुद कहा के बेटा अपनी ज़िंदगी जियो जैसे दूसरे भाई कर रहे, तुम क्यों बंधे रहो हमारे साथ और हमने भी सारे फ़र्ज़ निभाये उनसे दूर रहते हुए भी और वो भी सिंगल अर्निंग करते हुए।

@arpanmadrecha946

Жыл бұрын

But if you are not taking from them then do not give them also and also pl be careful before marrying such a person

@thelittlebirdie5822

Жыл бұрын

True.. kharcha mangna is constant though we hardly visit them thrice a year. But electricity bill n all hame hi pay karna hota h

Great video sir…very practical, relevant to my present situation bcz I am passing with this situation. You are really great guru Ji 👍👍🙏

Sir India me mushkil h saans bahu ko chai bana kar de,agar bahu hungry h n khana kha lena once in while to fir ghar me sabke mooh ban jate hai.Jab wo saans banti h to retirement le leti h, chahe bahu working ho ya non working.. Bana banaya lene me bhi bura lag jata h in-laws ko....ki khana lekar khana pad gaya ..bahu ne paap karwa diya.. secondly if couples r working , to ghar me rehkar gate kholna maid keliye wo bhi kaam h .

@tsgaming4584

Жыл бұрын

Bilkul sahi Kaha aapne I m working Kids were taken by my parents. But in law treat me like a servant door open Karo sab chije hath mein do tabh bhi khush nahi hote. Apni beti ek glass pani de de arre woh to humari bahut care karti apna ghar jhod kar humare yaha aakar baithi hai 10years se. Husband bhi unhi ka favor karte hai

@arpanmadrecha946

Жыл бұрын

​@@tsgaming4584 that's why marry a single child sibling wale very dangerous set up

@ninanani4085

5 ай бұрын

सास की छोड़ो, बेटियां मां से भी भूख लगने पर हक से खाना नही मांग पातीं, जिस हक से बेटा खाना मांगता है। बेटी से तो expected होता है कि उल्टे भाई को बना कर खिला दे। लड़की होकर मां से कैसे मांग सैरीभाई। कुछ घरों को छोड़ दें तो तो बेटियां अपने घर में भी दबी दबी रहती हैं। मां के प्यार की कहानियां, कविताएं, यादें, सब बेटे और मान की कहानियां होती हैं, बेटी और मां की नहीं।

I have also used the sukh of staying with my parents even after marriage. Within a year I realized my foolishness, that I should have realized in one month. My parents never asked me or even my wife to do anything at home so I never did anything. Finally my mother had to push me to live separately so that I grow up. My parents were fine with us staying separately even before our marriage but I was stubborn to stay together. I'm glad my parents and my wife took care of my marriage and helped me grow up to be a better man. Left to me, I'd have messed up all my relationships and also be surprised ki ye sab kaise ho gayaa.

Perfectly presented all the points.

No u r not anti - anybody... u speak practical things..I love your content.. i appreciate your wisdom ..

Very very practical and real from a working woman's point of view. Badalte waqt ki jarurat bhi alag hote hai.. Woman cannot do all those things that they used to do. Kar Bhi le to easy nahi hai...struggle hai bohot bada. Abhi ka time alag chal raha hai.

Very interesting perspective, thank you for sharing freely.

Aapke videos bohot straight forward hote hain. Jaha practical hona vaha practical.

Great video sir U have touched every aspect in the video of both couples . Pl make atleast one video on case study every week .

@Homemanagement

Жыл бұрын

Yes I too want videos on case studies

👏👏👏superb.... I laughed when i said... Khana aap bana lo mai paros dungi, or bolna maine banaya😂

I have watched most of your vedios. They are really eyeopeners. Your studies are deep rooted ,comments are hard-hitting and suggestions are out of box. I wish that your vedios are seen,implemented and appreciated by everyone in their own interest .

Great Work 👍 Sir Enjoying ur each video Eagerly waiting More ✋️

Without adjustment, ghar grihasthi nahin ho sakti. Best is all members of the household sit down, decide and share expenses , decide who will do what work inside or outside the house ( like buying groceries) and keep one weekend per month for socialising with relatives.

@arpanmadrecha946

Жыл бұрын

Best is single child family both hus/wife side at least in middle and upper middle class set up so less issues in rich class anyways parents give a separate house at the time of marriage to avoid any issues afterwards but Indian parents want a back up so they have 2 kids only for such purposes nothing else with such toxicity between children and parents children should straightaway ask the parents why did they have them in the first place in public and they should be made to feel guilty so at least they will not trouble the new DINK trend couples

@healthoic6623

Жыл бұрын

Good Thought mam 👍

@PULKITKAUL-great

Жыл бұрын

Good earning boys should not marry working girl or party cat. Better to have beautiful village homely girl. Adjustment will be easy.

@bmvinod1243

Жыл бұрын

Most people are not socializing these days especially in cities. I do not know what he is talking.

@PULKITKAUL-great

Жыл бұрын

@@ManjisthaDas03 Exceptions are there. But I think most good earning men should avoid working women for marriage.

A good video Sir. Pls also make a case study wherein working bahu also helps in household chores yet she is targeted all the time coz all working bahus are nor parasites o n their in- laws. Even we understand situations and try to balance both house and office work. The life in Mumbai is already hectic and despite giving the best, it's the bahu who is targeted especially by mother- in law

Loved this perspective.

Even if the wife is earning in lakhs husband still emotionally blackmails saying that u don’t like my parents u don’t want to stay with them

Super video...ye nhi socha tha yt pr is topic pr bhi advice aur case study milegi....keep it up Sir ji

Meri life mein opposite scene hai.. mother -in - law and father -in-law 75+age...they have been dependent on us .. causing frictions for the entire 25 years of my marital life

@arpanmadrecha946

Жыл бұрын

Now people will search for hus/wife who do not have parents at the time of marriage only till the son/daughter starts working

@sbsrt

Жыл бұрын

​@@hemangshrivastava9561 very gud

Very nice...... Same situation kafi logo ki h

Sir. I know only one thing that i have experienced till now in my life. Every person is comfortable in his or her choice of living and for that many games are played. But its not always the Children or Daughter in law who are at fault. Sometimes, parents also don't want to adjust and they blame the current financial scenario of their children. And when you force them to live with you, they say no by answering that they want PEACE OF MIND. This is quite common for Parents living in small cities and children living in big cities or in fact out of INDIA. A Son cannot blame WIFE for everything if PARENTS don't like her at all as she speaks her mind. So, best decision for any son should be to support his WIFE in such a scenario as she will be passing life with him much longer than his or her parents. And if PARENTS have their favourite SON or DAUGHTER then there is no point of any duscussion ...

@DeepshikhaRamRam30

Жыл бұрын

Good Answer 👍 well Appreciated

@priyabhasharma5620

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely right

@vipulghai10

Жыл бұрын

@@priyabhasharma5620 Thanks

@himanginaik2682

Жыл бұрын

So true n my summarisation of my life for past 3 years

@TheCrazySiblingsOfficial

Жыл бұрын

Sir.. if in-laws are totally financially dependent on u and wants to live with us in our rented accommodation, and in-laws want the daughter in law to serve them all the time.. and try to create conflict between the couple so to rule the house and son’s finances also.. unko kya kahoge

Humari saas to churi, bindi, palla se upar nehi uth pati hai. Unke liye ek bahu ka kaam sirf churi, bindi lagage bahu k tarha dikhna or koi v person jo riste me bade hai unke entry and exit me pair choona hai taki wo apne baki ristedaro ko dikha sakhe ki bahu kitni gharelu hai. Aise log baaki baatein kabhi samajh hi nehi sakte.

@mohitdubey203

Жыл бұрын

Kal tum bhi unki jagah logi aur tumhari Bahu bhi aise hi KZread PE tunahre bare me aise hi comment kr rhi hogi 😂

@amar8574

Жыл бұрын

😂😂

Well explained Sir. I love watching your videos. They are really good.

@Sohumahuja4658

Жыл бұрын

M also a working woman and my life has become hell.. husband wants food made by me only.. and in laws take all the time with my husband . I dnt even get 5 min with him..have a small child to take care of... Parents don't even understand what their children are going through.. they are so possessive and selfish

Very good. Please bring more case studies

Maza a gya ❤ Dil maage more casestudy🎉

Sir watching your video for the first time. You have explained this situation really well. It's more like councelling to young couple🙏🙏

Waiting.... As I m in the same situation

I really enjoy all your unique topics . Stay blessed

excellent perspective guruji !

Best video ever ! best to leave seperately from inlaws for own good. Dil has to be strong enough to fight for your rights . Men always want best if both the world's without suffering on health and career .Girl and her parents will always suffer in such marriages .Be smart and sensible to reject the proposals from such men in the beginning 😃👌❤️

I enjoy watching your video. Thank you

Very well said sir👍 99℅ men are like these

Very good 👍 explanation sir.

Sar sunkar sach mein aansu a gaye 🙏🙏🙏god bless

A very big Salute to yu for trying to keep families together and making them understand each other's value.

💯👌👏👏👏👏👍💐🙏🙏🙏thanks for the video sir

Bahot badiya video hai sirji! 🔥

Well said sir God bless you ❤

Hello sir, suddenly some video of yours popped on my screen 15 things to be taught to children...then obviously I liked your video and started scrolling other videos too. This was the 2nd video, any others will follow seeing them. But seeing these types of videos from you is so good to see, I can resonate these things as it happened with me, starting me bahut din tak I cribbed about all these but I couldn't resist or change any thing, but it used to affect me mentally but no change still. Then I stopped cribbing as now I am out of country. But thik hai Jo bhi hua mere sath but aaj apke videos dekh Kar inspiration mil rahi atleast ye ki me galat nai soch rahi thi

Baat to theek hai, but there’s always a flip side. Kuch log yeh dekhne ke baad “ baghbaan” chalu kar denge. I have seen parents over dominating or overpowering their beta bahu for staying in their house & hurt thm with showing ehsaan and sacrcasm.

@arana4886

Жыл бұрын

Iske upar sir ne kaafi videos banayi hain, conclusion bata deta hun : if parents are toxic and kaafi kalesh hai, live separately, rent or buy, baaki nearby location pe ghar lena, ye easy nhi hoga obviously but this is the best......

@geetikasingh2770

Жыл бұрын

True

@pankajbansal5040

Жыл бұрын

Bête Bahu ne Near by ghar liya to lanchan laga jaynge padosiyon ke ki nai nai bhyah ke aayi bahu ne bete ko budde maa baap se nyara kar diya .

@bhawnasingh3530

Жыл бұрын

Sahi baat hai

@kriti644

Жыл бұрын

Bilkul sahi kaha apne

Aap kisi k bhai aur kisi k guru. Thank you

Aapki baate sahi h.. mere case me .. kuch alag bhi h.. please reply.. I'm gov job holder bahu.. after marriage in -laws forced me to transfer in their place.. as they'll pamper my child.. now i got transfer in their rural areas.. n now I hv 2 Lil kids.. both of them carry with me on my place too everyday.. no help in this combined family (kunwa of 40 person) mil always saying.. humne kisi ke bacche nhi pale. .. humse kuch nhi hoga..

Bohat sahi tha yrr ye toh kya mst case study hai

Its very important that the husband understands this part than in-laws ..They try to manage both and actually its a wrong attempt itself.Couples often suffer staying with in-laws..

Waah , Kya baat boli hai Sir 😻👏🏼

You are great person doing great work in society. But I feel you are lucky that your client took that advice positively. Are you sure they have implemented your suggestions?

Sir apne idea acha dia he..but asal jindagi me apply ho nahi skta.. Agr bahu initiate kre alag rehne ka to sare gaav me dhindora pita jata he k bahu ghar todne ayi he Or saas to apne bete se alag hona nahi chahti kuki alag rahenge to control kese krenge fir I would really request you to make video for implementation of such ideas as well.. agar beta bahu ek hi colony ya apt me dusra flat le k rahe to ye bat kabbi bhi sas sasur ko nahi pachegi kuki padosi rishtedar sb jagah naak kat jaegi unki. Inlaws are ok if we stay in some other city..but they are not ok if we stay in nearby society kuki aas paas me to sabhi k samne unki beijjati hogi k beta bahu dekho alag hogye inhone kuch kia hoga

Excellent video sir, very fair and practicle advice, because of your wonderful advice and videos it will help many families to solve the problems and live happily . Thank you sir 🙏🙏

So true. Respect for this video..

beautifully explained ...

Indian families have evolved a long way from what is being portrayed........ today we see a lot of co-operation and co-ordination between family members in Indian families......these Hum Log series times have gone long back......

Good answer you gave to that couple. I am a young daughter in law. But i completely agree with u. Some people will take all the help from their own parents or in laws, like in most cases to raise their children since they are working. But will have 1000 complaints and will speak bad against them. If you have so much bad blood then don't stay with them na.

Yes Guruji very much interested to hear the case studies...

It is always better to live in neighborhood. Not in same house. Both wife's and husband's parents should be taken care. But both in near by house. And no one should discuss or criticize unnecessary issues.

@user-my5od4eg5y

5 күн бұрын

I agree

Really, sir, you nailed it and I am happy that this is something someone is talking about, if we do not understand that then there will be disaster in society.

Sir you are awesome, outstanding, you are absolutely right sir, brilliant analysis… apka abhinandan 🥰🥰😂😂😂

Beautiful Explanation. 🎉🎉🎉

you have hit the nail on the head. i have always felt that young people should get married only when they are willing to financially support themselves independently from parents.

@abhijeetpanchal9301

Жыл бұрын

Some girls do not wish to live with in laws. Then do not expect boys to respect her parents.

@sujathagopal7939

Жыл бұрын

@@abhijeetpanchal9301 ... what does not wanting to live with inlawa have to do with respecting them?

@abhijeetpanchal9301

Жыл бұрын

@@sujathagopal7939 Never force boy to meet girl parents. Simple

@abhijeetpanchal9301

Жыл бұрын

@@ManjisthaDas03 Tomorrow you will force men to be pregnant. Maybe girl education is backfiring in some cases.

@CAPARTH89

Жыл бұрын

Then young people will avoid maariage or will delay marriage. Its a disasterous thinking

❤ Your ideas are mind blowing, I am applying and getting wonderful results.

You just speak my heart out🙏

Thank you Sir Eye opener video

This is "THE" best video ever! Straight forward and No bullshit!! Every person should hear it!

Amazing 👍😍

Extremely true... Mostly aisa hi hota hai...they want to stay with inlaws/parents...but no give back...

Very nice video sir. Raat ko bhagvad gita padhti hu. Din me aap ke video se gyan leti hu. Thank you very much sir indian society ke liye aap bahot achha kaam kar rahe ho.

You're doing great job by giving direction to people.

This is really good

Awsom..so true 👍🙏🏻

Hahaha loved it when u said Kamina. Indeed interesting hearing from you but so true.

I'm suffering from toxic behaviors because I'm working .. and living with in-laws

Really this is eye opening

Good learning and very realistic sir

One of your best videos, Sir. Incisive analysis as always

Thanks a lot for bringing such discussions, being a newly married, we should agree that its always better to stay a little away from either of the parents..

So much hue & cry over socially-booked weekends??!! Listen to this - I am exceptionally qualified (by social standards), earned more money than anyone else in my household, but I had to leave my job due to my Mother-in-law. She expected me to continue my job, while - 1. Doing household chores till the minute leave for office and resume chores the minute I m back ! 2. Maintain a very low profile since my higher income was triggering her insecurities 3. Should contribute equally to family finances, so that my husband is able to "save" more than me 4. Have kids because they are oh-so-looking-forward to having grand children. But despite a 24 hour house help and a separate aaya (nanny) for the kid i am suppose to handle the kid the minute I enter the house, while she flops infront of TV ! Why ? Because she has raised her kids and now people who birthed the kids should handle their own kids. 5. High attrition of house helps because she would mistreat them grossly despite the fact that I was paying for them ! 6. After all this...bahu is paise k peeche pagal and has ruined the household atmosphere because of her career ambitions!

Your presentation is very realistic ji...

Pragmatic approach and realistic!

Nice content 👍 I hope young generation iska saar samajh sake

Ankh khol rahe ho gurji bohot bada kaam kar rahe ho 🤩 all family members should watch this not in group but individually 🤣

appreciated