Hey guys! Thanks for watching and I hope that was helpful. Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) 💪 Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass 🎁 Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions 🗣 Join the FB Group! -> facebook.com/groups/1032426806961329/

@elciscopowell5674

4 жыл бұрын

Geoffrey Setiawan Hi, In your experience would you say that there are signs that a spouse/wife shows that she is still interested in trying to work on the relationship? You mentioned in one of your videos that being angry or upset is one clear sign. Do you have any others that you could elaborate on?

As Bruce Lee said, "Concentrate on the process, not the product ..."

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Right on!

@kirahrenaue6175

2 жыл бұрын

@@GeoffreySetiawan can u tell me what it means in ir words please

@FLS713HTX

Жыл бұрын

@@kirahrenaue6175 it means to focus on the steps to slowly change how you are and act and not on the outcome of getting back with your Ex. Basically work on your self

😭😭😭 Marriages need to be repaired!! I'm in tears right now, this was so helpful. Not married yet, but getting married soon and want it to last.

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

That's awesome! When is the big date?

Watch this man’s videos. I am nearing a month and holy crap can I tell the difference in my mental. You can tell from previous comments too. Jesus as messed up as it sounds I needed this and my partner is amazing to do a “break” instead of a complete breakup because I can understand her actions now. And I hope when I see her this week she will truly believe my changes. If she doesn’t and wants to end things. I’ll be devastated but I still won’t regret this break, because wow honest to god it’s be a wild shift/journey. Any listen to this man take it easy just prepare to accept whatever outcome it is and keep improving.

@SpecialPoeschl14

Жыл бұрын

Any updates man?!

You deserve way more subscribers. You truly know how this all works and it reflects my current situation so well. It brings some relief to my anxiety

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this. I AGREE! :D Tell this to KZread.

From my female perspective, what you basically say is to love our partners without expectations which by the way is the meaning of real love!

Great video! I like how you split the screen with you on the right and use the free space on the left to list your talking points!

Awesome tips Geoffrey! Having been through a separation myself, I wish I would have watched this!

You are doing so many things to help marriages... Really appreciate you sharing this.

Hey! Another great video! I am divorced and it's true that you have no control over the other. I am lucky to say I made the decision and feel good with it. Being in control is a topic I talk about a lot in my confidence content. We have NO control over the situation but we CAN control our behavior and our reaction to the situation.

This is very timely! Thank you, Geoffrey!

You make such a good point that we need to focus on changing our own behaviour

This video has truly opened my eyes. Thank you so much for this I finally realize what I need to work on. 😁

Thanks for this video you are a great teacher!

Thanks for this. I really needed to hear this right now. The things you’re saying are very different than what others on here are saying and they really feel more applicable to my situation.

Thank you Soo much for helping me understand why this anxiety is getting worse and worse. The whole video was perfect and we'll explained. I just can't get rid of it. I'm going to keep watching this over and over

one of the best relationship channels. My wife wants a divorce but I feel like bettering myself would be my lifes goal and I will not give up no matter what

@GeoffreySetiawan

Жыл бұрын

You GOT IT!!

You are phenomenal! At one point I was watching one of your videos in kne room and another in another! You are skilled in explaining mindshifts to where even taking the owness of change (even if the other person is definitely to blame too) is still a win-win! Thank you

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you thank you! :)

Great tips for couples struggling especially during these tough times.

A serious self-check there, Geoffrey. Thanks for sharing!

Seriously, I should replay this video every day. I needed to hear this today. You're right, focusing on the end goal will increase anxiety. So thank you for pointing that out.

I love the quote about focussing on the outcome and how it creates anxiety. That can be applied to anything in life. Focus on the process instead!

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Right! Important mindset shift.

these are great mindset shifts!! awesome job!

This one hit home for me. Everything example you gave, I'm going through right now. I just signed up for the program and I'm excited to start the process!

Thank you Geoffrey for this video, it is one of your most complete and succinct topics you have put out. Thank you for giving real examples and walking us through how to navigate this terrible fear and anxiety of separation. I needed this today to continue going on and remove myself from the control, this open up0 my eyes even more as to why my behavior was self sabotaging and how to go at this from a pure heart of just wanting to grow.

@bassbich

Жыл бұрын

You are for sharing Dennis. I see that our "manly" behavior is very widespread. And I thought I was quite self aware😅 But we are more basic bros that we want to acknowledge. So I write this comment in September. You wrote yours a month ago. How is it going with you wife? Did Geofrey`s advice help?

I'm having an anxiety attack right now, and this video is helping me calm down. Thank you.

@GeoffreySetiawan

2 жыл бұрын

Hi tooth656, Make sure to check this one out also if you are finding it hard to stay motivated and are struggling with anxiety. kzread.info/dash/bejne/fn9kyaxwn6nJmag.html

My gosh, Geoffrey. How do you know these things? Your videos are so spot on. I find so much truth in these videos. Thank you. Its like you know couples better than they know themselves.

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Haha thank you! I've worked with and seen a lot of relationships! So thank all my students :)

Great tips Geoffrey!

Hi Geoffrey, Thank you for this. You really speak my mind. How I wish I was able to watch this long before the separation.

@GeoffreySetiawan

2 жыл бұрын

Hi EgoSunSense, All of my clients have said the very exact same thing. They also realized that the true message is to become this irreplaceable person independent of the outcome. But when they did... This is when it all began to change and they were able to restore hope within their partners once again.

I’m so grateful for your content! Even tho targeted to men, I feel your content is still relevant to my situation. Thank you for offering such high value content (much value than my therapist provides). I feel like you really understand women 🙏and their needs.

This is super interesting! I'm sure this video will be very helpful for many!

This is so accurate it's scary!

Thank you for this video, my wife and I are separated for 2 months now going into 3. I needed to hear this, I am the one struggling with the separation anxiety. She was the one who wanted the separation and mentioned that I was the one manipulating her. I pray that we can overcome this, thank you for the insight!

@bassbich

Жыл бұрын

You are not alone Frank. I see that our "manly" behavior is very widespread. And I thought I was quite self aware😅 But we are more basic bros that we want to acknowledge. So I write this comment in September. You wrote yours in June or July. How is it going with you wife? Did Geoffrey`s advice help?

@Simbalorian

Жыл бұрын

@@bassbich , Geoffrey's advice helped, my wife and I are back together, but now the real practice begins for me everyday to make sure I keep a cool head and try my best to maintain healthy dialogue with my wife and repair our emotional safety is key for us to heal from all the issues we had. Everyday we are together, is a victory for us, we have been more honest and transparent that ever before in our relationship.

@bassbich

Жыл бұрын

@@Simbalorian Happy for you! It gives hope.

@jaraf107

Жыл бұрын

@@Simbalorian I’m very happy for you. I’m in week 3 of an “I need space.” arrangement. I found Geoffrey’s videos 5 days ago and I’ve made some changes that are providing ME with calmness, peacefulness. I am reflecting on my role in this mess and how I need to make changes. Your story has given me more hope. I hope you guys continue to do well.

@LEGOfanPersonS

8 ай бұрын

Would you still have reconciled if she had jumped straight to trying to date while you worked on yourself. She seems angry I changed so much in a month that it toll separation to "wake me up" (actually snap out of a depression) and now possibly confused but hard to tell. She is still ice cold towards us but acts like we're best friends about daily activities, but when she gets secretive with her phone and actions it kills my anxiety still and I can't even sleep at night.

I've gotten back with an ex before that I had kids with. If you think you have anxiety while you are alone for me my anxiety was worse once we got back together. I was aware that she could leave again. I hope that you guys are stronger than I was. When we split the second time I was actually relieved and realized for me it was harder to to just be myself. Always thinking how can I tread lightly without pissing her off. It was torture for me

Really awesome videos!! Lots of valuable information to help relationships struggling for different reasons. I look forward to a video where you go in more details about how men and women differ in terms of dealing with things from emotions and feeling compared to a man who think of things from a logical/ solution driven point of view. I have learnt that if men can take the time to understand and look at things from their partner’s perspective this will prevent a lot of relationship conflict & issues.

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Hey E P! We discuss this quite a bit in our program, but both men and women make decisions via emotions. That's just a human thing. But the difference between a masculine vs. feminine perspective is that the masculine seeks to overcome emotions, and the feminine tends to embrace/express emotions -- and like an emotion "inception", it creates vastly different final emotions about the same things. It's more nuanced than this of course, but I agree -- that would be a great topic to venture into :)

Word. This speaks directly to me

This is the best video i have ever seen on this... he gets it!!

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Anthony, Thank you! Happy this was insightful for you.

The Anxiety means you're not ready, well then I must not be ready. Ugh I guess this was the video I needed to watch today, okay I got this. Thanks again!

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Right on!

I like the message I do need to focus more on myself 🙂

Dude, this hit home....like a lot.....thank you 🙏

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Nice! Which part did you resonate with most?

Being okay with lack of control, being okay with lack of approval, and being okay with lack of certainty would all definitely help with anxiety levels. How to be okay with those things is the hard part though. Maybe just talking about it and what you need to do will help. Focus on the process and not the future. Got it.

@sonnysamra8733

4 жыл бұрын

Easier said than done when every thing you do is criticized and nothing is right. It’s completely one-sided and so difficult to live like this. I’m kicked out of the house, completely ignored, working full time, dealing with counseling/therapy sessions almost daily and told our entire 18yr relationship has been horrible yet she has no appreciation of being able to remain a stay at home mom while I take care of our $15k monthly bills then and now. Not including where I’m staying at now. AND on top of that she says I’m not showing her I’ve changed

@bestbigbros1102

2 жыл бұрын

@@sonnysamra8733 how's your situation now?

I have messed up big time in my relationship that it's almost ruining my life, dignity ad respect. I pray she comes to understand that I didn't mean to wrong her. I truly regret my actions.

@GeoffreySetiawan

2 жыл бұрын

Start to change in the right ways and in the massive ways.

Watched it 3 times in a row thank you

Great stuff. This has helped me

This definitely helped! Thank you!

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful! What was your main takeaway here?

Excellent advice!!!!

Wow I love your channel! Thanks so much for all these tips!

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Evolving Beautifully, I appreciate your support and thank you for your comment. I always like to ask... Which is your most favorite?

thanks for the advice👍...one thing i learn from this video is be patience and relax...we all need a wake up call in life...one time i was drinking 2 many engery drinks and had a bad reaction...never had 1 after that

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Right on!

Man, thanks for this right now...

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

You bet man! Let me know how I can help!

You are a brilliant man, Geoffrey. I wish I had the money for the program.

My partner has always helped me cope up with anxiety, and now that he's not there , it's really very hard coping with seperation anxiety. But your videos are helping me so much ! Thank you !

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Happy to help Anushree.

@anushreemaity2039

3 жыл бұрын

Also, if I see the attachment is fading away with time , during the break , should I be worried about it ?

@hussainamuhammad6508

3 жыл бұрын

@@anushreemaity2039 hello de tuda can help you , he helped me get my ex back and he can also help you too

@hussainamuhammad6508

3 жыл бұрын

@@anushreemaity2039 whtspp him

@hussainamuhammad6508

3 жыл бұрын

@@anushreemaity2039 + 2 3 4 8 1 5 6 8 9 6 43 6

This has been amazing

This helps so much. Thank you.

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Glad it helped!

I wish I would have found you sooner going to take your program, but I think my marriage might be too far gone, she file for divorce and is already seeing someone. I guess I can only learn and grow from this experience, I want too. I've done all the things you said about sepration anxiety, control, and neediness.

Hey Geoffrey. If it wasn't for you my friend, I'd more than likely be in a mental institution by now! Been separated for a month now and taking it real bad! You help me understand my actions and thoughts . Your a very clever guy!

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Hey Calvin, Happy the videos have been insightful and have helped you cope with your anxiety. Really appreciate your comment. And in case you’re curious as to how life-changing this program is, or how it is MILES beyond what other programs can offer, check out the links below! Client Review Videos: kzread.info/head/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU Client Review Screenshots: drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Gp8UpRV9uMlFx763BfuQnEqN930FQb7b?usp=sharing

Very valuable - all of it is eye opening for me…

@GeoffreySetiawan

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it, what did you find to be most valuable?

I've been separated from my wife now 4 months today she wants a divorce we have minimum contact but I think this video is the best video I have seen so far and in 4 months I've seen lots of them..Thank you very much

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Hey Sergio, Thank you! Happy that you found the videos insightful. We have many clients in our program that have been in the same situation like you described. But once they learned the right processes to genuinely change themselves in the right ways… Their partners naturally gravitate towards them. If you’d like to learn more, you can join our free masterclass here. relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

Need to understand more what do you mean by working on yourself What track I should follow ? It will be great if you share examples

I paid good money for therapy that was nowhere near this. Thanks boss

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Honored to hear that from you man. What was the most eye-opening realization from this video for you?

@hengloose

4 жыл бұрын

Roots of separation anxiety. Like the Buddha said "The cause of suffering is desire "

@mumtazkhalick8573

3 жыл бұрын

@@GeoffreySetiawan do you do one 2 one coaching please

Ok now this is different, actually making alot of sence right now, trust in the process

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Right on man! :) Glad this one resonated with you.

@4thsolutions105

3 жыл бұрын

@@GeoffreySetiawan absolutely did, spot on!

You have had such a great impact on me man I would love to meet you

@GeoffreySetiawan

3 жыл бұрын

Haha. My client meet me all the time! Have you considered joining the Relationships Revival program?

I am in the exact situation. Not only did I show needyness but also showed anxiety losses. To her I looked weak. She says no but I strongly disagree. We have been long distance for 31/2 years. Her MN and me CA. We have been afforded the $$ to be together pretty much a week each month. I have anxiety for change and I was suppose to retire 1 yr ago and spend most of our time together living with her for as long as I could take the cold keep my house in CA for winters. I have issues with change and I backed out saying it was causing my so much stress which was true. I told her if I work 1 more year she would be able to retire a year early. She has 2 yrs minimum left. I thought she was good with it. But deep down she knew I was going to flake. We dealt with it until April this year when I started showing the anxiety she already knew. I kept seeing signs she wanted out which was my anxiety taking control. I flaked and she she left me saying she can’t do this no more. I am seeking help for my anxiety but she says I did it Once already. I broke her heart and I am sick with regret that I broke her heart. I don’t see her allowing me back in her life is because she had been previous been in a horrible marriage where it was physical and mental abuse. She is reacting from the things that previously happened in a previous relationship. But as far as she sees it, it is the same. We have been a perfect match having a fantastic relationship filling out bucket list and achieving each an all. But as of right now she has packed up and left saying I can’t do it. Move on and hopes I find what I’m looking for. She is the one that I have been looking for my whole life. I was previously married but she showed me what love is and I’m 60 yrs old. Sounds sad but I lost the one that was my sole mate and my 1st true love. I have tried everything to change. But now it just more stress and my suffering go unnoticed and I become empty and pulling myself into a shell not even trying to socialize or vent to anyone. Therapy just seemed to make it worse. If I do reach out she does respond but I can hear the hurt I instilled. I want her in my life but there may be to much damage to reconcile and move on hoping she can forget the past and start fresh. And I don’t see that happening. Asking her if she loves me and there is hope is her saying no. That’s it. I retire tomorrow and she don’t even know. I questioned it but I know it’s time but not with the person I was doing it for. Where do I start?

@GeoffreySetiawan

2 жыл бұрын

Start here to learn why and how this happened. I am going to provide you with two links below. kzread.info/dash/bejne/mWqCm7GFn7HMd5c.html relationshipsmastered.com/masterclass

Hey Geoffrey, I think I want to work with you. 6 year relationship. One break up, got back together, and a second break up over me not signing a lease within a 4 day period. Can we work together to come up on a plan? Does this video apply to if you took her for granted and are long distance (LA to VA)?

i've been in a long distance marriage with my spouse for a year. Im moving country to be with him in Sept. Recently, he told me his feelings has sorta changed. He's not sure if we would work out. But i still want to work things out and im risking everything to move in sept tho he said he cant promise me everything. im not very sure how to win back emotionally but im trying hard.

@mumtazkhalick8573

3 жыл бұрын

Do you have any updates ?

May I ask the name of the Facebook group? The link doesn't work for me. Thank you in advance.

It's like you reading my mind

I'm afraid to say "thank you, Geoffrey" in the comments! Because before your channel - I`ve wondered into some wrong sides of the self help youtube. That gave me confidence and hope but also gave me some toxic advice. Maybe you`d like to make a video about that. About red flags in relationship advise. In other words: how do I weed out toxic advice from my info space?

@GeoffreySetiawan

Жыл бұрын

Hi Anton Blashchuk, Going to link 2 here for you to check out. kzread.info/dash/bejne/qH2Bo7udh5vRgNI.html kzread.info/dash/bejne/qYasr7Vtgc_bZLQ.html

It's been 6 months since we've been separated, I'm trying to stay strong the first 4 months i was doing all the wrong things being needy and emotional and angry which pushed her away but the last two have been different we txt every single day for a month now, at first she was txt me often now since we haven't argued at all or when she tries to hit me with something negative i respond with a positive she's gotten to the point where she takes much much longer to reply hours even or till the next day, i know about confirmation byass, could that be why she's taking longer now or is my approach not working, again I'm not .apart of the program yet I'm trying to make that 10 percent but I hope to make it and know the right process to thrive, thanks Geoffrey

@iceolar

2 ай бұрын

Did she come back

Ah indeed tragic what we end up doing and feeling and thinking. L’enfer c’est les autres? Non, l’enfer c’est nous mêmes!

Geoffry, What do I do when my wife of 21 years has decided to leave. I'm torn because I love her however she hasn't been a good wife. She has cheated on me 4 times that I know of. We have 3 daughters together. So when she was caught I forgave her, for the sake of the children. How do I change her actions to be more consistent with what I do means? she moved in with her mom 2 weeks ago. I am a reasonable man. I have my issues but I want to work on being better.

What about some changes that she should make? If she changes nothing about herself, what will keep her from leaving again over something that doesn't work out her way? I will not reenter the relationship if she doesn't change herself. This was not a onesided issue that caused us to separate in the first place. I gave her control but it came to a time that I then stepped up and said that enough is enough when she ran credit cards to $34 thousand dollars. Didn't go well after that. Now I feel that it may not be worth getting back together because this may occur all over again. Is it worth it?

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

This is what we call in our program a victim mindset and is something we nip in the bud in our program. Powerful leaders never think like this - powerful leaders don’t care about what other people do, they’re the ones taking responsibility and changing circumstances and other people… This is the mindset of a powerless victim - you wait for other people to start before you do your part. Victims let other people define what they do & say. Victims are extremely powerless because they are essentially saying “Other people and circumstances have power over my happiness and what happens to me”. Victims are also extremely defensive and needy - they tend to perpetuate blame and make other people extremely defensive. Victims tend to get into a ton of arguments in their relationship. Don’t be a victim - if you want your relationship to change, start becoming a powerful leader. Think and act like one. Case in point - where has THIS type of thinking led you? Has it given you the results you want? How you think, what you know and what you do & say today can only get you to where you are. If you want different outcomes, you much be willing to think, learn, do and say different things.

We have 10yrs together. what should i do if i've been begging and crying and pleading to get her back and now i have made her block me on all her social media and i think she may have blocked my phone number. How do i get her back now? Im so hurt and just devastated and i just feel deep down inside that there might still just be a chance to get my Queen back but i just dont know what to do?

@bestbigbros1102

2 жыл бұрын

How's your situation now?

Let's say my behavior has not changed and my wife says "consider yourself single" and has removed her ring and does not want to talk or see my face at all. There is definitely more to the story but the whole thing amounts to me being completely at fault. What is my next step here? I feel completely broken and anxiety ridden.

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Hey Seph -- Note that your anxiety here is the key to your answer. Your anxiety is simply your desire for control, approval and certainty taking over. This toxic desire is what led you to do toxic things in the past, what is causing you to do toxic things now, and in the future. You've gotta understand what it means to work on yourself -- kzread.info/dash/bejne/mWGFr9CKcsXUnJs.html

love u

I have 7years relationship with my gf we got married without knowing her parents we are now separate because we are waiting for her parents acceptance , in mean while I was struck with another girl , she know that relation so she broke up with me , I have better romantic and understanding level relationship but we got separated because I have cheated her. Their parents got better opportunity to separate us , please provide me better solution she Will come back or not actually she is stubborn is it possible to comeback I want know

What if my fiance already moved out and just wants space? How do u give space with a kid?

@GeoffreySetiawan

4 жыл бұрын

Without further context, this would be difficult for me to answer. But something to think about -- the structure of your relationship does not matter if your have the right processes. With the right process, you can thrive no matter what structure you choose. So my answer on this tends to be -- it doesn't matter whether you have a kid, or whether your wife has moved out, when you master the process, you can thrive under any structure.

How do act when we both live together still .. we are married but she needs time and space but she still cares about me and our family. What’s she told me . We have two kids .

@panosk5072

2 жыл бұрын

How did it turn out?

If she runs to vegas for a week and theres no contact ..shouldnt be tolerated by any man..huge red flag Probably was a bad example to use but i get your point..

there is a lot of "overlap" in your many youtube videos. Surely a lot of the info could be condensed into a few underlying memorable principles guidelines which would be more helpful. Many of the scenarios you describe are to produce a perfect man (who does not exist) with a high maintenance demanding wife or partner. In ALL relationships you love your partner even with some faults (otherwise they would not be human beings!!!). Reply

Women today do not make great partners ..they want they want..we have to twist ourselves into pretzels .make deep changes..jump thru hoops .to try to save often one sided relationships...we have invested so we try ...she rarely actually does..so they walk off to the next..good content though..

Wife goes to Vegas for a week and doesn’t contact? I mean, maybe that’s a LITTLE fishy??🤏