"Inside every cynical person is a disappointed idealist." - George Carlin

@hatem3921

4 жыл бұрын

I miss that fucking guy RIP Carlin u funny shit Lord

@AafiyaBhayani22

4 жыл бұрын

people keep calling me cynical and yes i agree wtf thank you for sharing that quote. going to look Carlin up rn.

@cambiubiu8722

4 жыл бұрын

If u scratch the surface of a cynic, you will always find a disappointed idealist underneath

@keepkalm823

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@diwanmal2335

4 жыл бұрын

Love you 👌🏻 man

“Our parents aren’t gonna tell us what’s wrong with us, they love us too much.” Asian kids:

@flinggonza5688

3 жыл бұрын

"Jimmy, come the FUCK over here, you missed an A+ on one of your subjects"

@onemillionpercent

3 жыл бұрын

Lmaooooo actually all parents but I’m an Asian kid so I can relate. I mean if they just praise us all the time even when we do badly/can improve then we would become arrogant anyways

@marinadavies1917

3 жыл бұрын

lol my parents are asian parents while not actually being asian

@immapunchu5313

3 жыл бұрын

'Look at your cousins got into Harvard, and look at you being stupid. I wasted my rice for nothing!"

@abdot604

3 жыл бұрын

asian parent: you doctor yet kid: no dad im 12 asian parent: talk to me when you doctor

“Love is not just admiration for strength, it is also tolerance for weakness.”

@VictorGabriel77676

Жыл бұрын

This quote hit me the hardest too

@deerclaudia

Жыл бұрын

This should be in the marry vow❤

@whatsthepoint843

Жыл бұрын

@@timothywade9618 Sorry for your trauma my guy. But what happen to you is the exception not the norm. Unless you're being edgy because you got dumped. Maybe you're just a troll. Maybe you're dead, I hope not. Anyway, trust the perfect stranger that I am: It will get better if you want it to go better.

@andrewondigo7608

Жыл бұрын

being ugly is her weakness and I'm tolerating it!

@KebabsRock1997

10 ай бұрын

I believe that it would rather be the willingness to help each other overcome our weaknesses, together. The essence of true love is one's conviction of being more with the other, mutually.

so basically: - communicate your feelings to them - don't expect a 100% amazing human - if your partner tells you about something you do wrong it's to help you learn from it - change how you respond to problems in the relationship (unless it gets really bad) - do what you want to do because you'll regret all of it either way so it doesn't matter If I missed any points please comment below

@Stockland475

Жыл бұрын

We need more people like you, thank you for making our life easier

@lauraschutze8363

Жыл бұрын

A related thought that a friend taught me, and it enabled me to go back to school and do really well, is that when you receive a criticism, you should immediately tell yourself that there is something to learn from it, and that the person who criticized you did not have to bother to tell you. Most people won't bother to tell you what you're doing wrong, as it is kind of difficult and embarrassing to be the bearer of bad news. You don't have to do what they're telling you to do, but at least they tried to give you a suggestion when something wasn't working. After thanking them you can review what they said, and you can discard the information if it was given in a bad spirit. By thanking them for the suggestion or the critique you may also find that you disarm any bad intention they might have had. The criticism is only an attack If you receive it as such.

@The0nlyy

Жыл бұрын

-True happiness is impossible to achieve -We are all going to die with regrets

@cosmasofoegbu6081

Жыл бұрын

Who else has gotten tired of talking

@aimiloo

Жыл бұрын

@@lauraschutze8363 Thanks for sharing this, I needed to hear it!

I like to think of it this way: I didn't marry the wrong person, I married a real person. Instead of falling in love with an idea, fall in love with a real human being.

@toilaconhaisam3037

3 жыл бұрын

Pathetic, i marry mine waifu and you know how? Takings sleeping pills

@MomochiAsagi

3 жыл бұрын

@@toilaconhaisam3037 LOLOLOL 😂

@user-iz7kf8jx5h

3 жыл бұрын

Nice

@xiella2028

3 жыл бұрын

@@toilaconhaisam3037 Melatonin is our bestfriend

@toilaconhaisam3037

3 жыл бұрын

@@xiella2028 that's my second wife

I met my wife when she was 15 and I was 16. We married about 3 years latter and she died last year aged 75. We were together for 60 years and I still love her.

@banjillaphranks

2 жыл бұрын

That’s inspiring

@alexanderdelacruz9249

2 жыл бұрын

So sorry for your loss, but wow together for 60 yrs? 👍🏻

@theresamclaughlin2610

2 жыл бұрын

@@alexanderdelacruz9249 We have been married for 53 years and still are loving each other and take care of each other. I feel very blessed and can only imagine how hard it is without her. We never know how the end will be but with Faith, we believe if we are good here that we will be reunited. I do believe that some moments we take turns being hard to live with but of course there is never perfect in life and no one is ! How fortunate we have been able to love and adapt by trying to understand both sides and think about all the good when that annoying repetition of behavior occurs. Tolerance is a necessary tool

@alexanderdelacruz9249

2 жыл бұрын

@@theresamclaughlin2610 i can only imagine what your going thru 🙏

@ttc958

2 жыл бұрын

I'm So Sorry

I was married for 15 years to a man who thought all "education" was "nagging" and "putting him down". He was older n always told me I had to "learn" but was never willing to learn from me and my needs. I thought I was flawed and had to hide this until years later, he had passed. In my late 40s I found a man I grew fond of. Our first disagreement or misunderstanding I thought it was over. I was not going to dissapoint another man by nagging him. As I was walking out of the door I said," You really don't know or get me do you? And this 50+ year old man said "I'm willing to learn" I also thought, well Me too!" It's been almost 8 years now that we have been together and married. Learning to love is the only way to be happy 😊 still learning him every day ❤️

@amaragrace94

Жыл бұрын

Aww I love this. Wishing you a happy marriage.

@YouTubeTeacherRemote

Жыл бұрын

@@amaragrace94 thanks so much!

@yoshilover765

Жыл бұрын

This is really sweet. I'm happy for you and yours.

@YouTubeTeacherRemote

Жыл бұрын

@@yoshilover765 thank you so much😊

@User12345fan

Жыл бұрын

You were married for 15 years before , this one is 8. Hold your horses sister. You didn’t stay for the whole 15 years if you did not like the first marriage, maybe you only hated year 15. Before you think anything changed, try to do 20 years with this guy? Will you?

"We're not merely on a quest to be happy. We're on a quest to suffer in ways that feel familiar." Brilliant talk, thank you!

@Cheep5

9 ай бұрын

​@Bob-rb4qpIt's just the truth about how our brain works, it might be difficult to accept cause it is kinda depressing

@sethtenrec

8 ай бұрын

@@Bob-rb4qp you’re missing the fact that you’re just using semantics. You’re saying the exact same thing as the speaker. He’s just a little more brutal about the truth and you’re sugarcoating it.

@sethtenrec

8 ай бұрын

@@Bob-rb4qp once again, just telling the truth, because I love you. Optimism equals ignorance. Everywhere you look, powerful forces are trying to develop authoritarian governments to enslave you. Unless you already live in one of those many countries already. Every day your body rots from the inside a little bit more, your DNA does not reproduce your skin or organs or anything exactly the way it should. If you’re “lucky” you grow old and get chronic pain and become crippled and eventually need people to take care of you. Of course many people manufacture a God, or an afterlife to delude themselves into thinking it will someday be better. The funniest part about the above is that you are going to say I’m a dark pessimist just because I can see reality. None of this has anything to do with the video, about the fundamental way we deal with others. Seeking someone who has the same faults as parents or others important in our youth, so we can “change them” and salve the pain. You might want to get to know yourself a little better, then you’ll understand. Surface optimism is not depth.

@jeffreyliu2289

5 ай бұрын

Ah yes, the Lack

"To be with another person is negotiating imperfections everyday" Absolutely brilliant, Alain de Botton

@dawnlatta7106

2 жыл бұрын

Perfectly stated!

@omaralkayal7598

Жыл бұрын

that's why we should accept that no one is perfect and instead of hiding a problem work with your partner about it

@rafreyes5140

Жыл бұрын

newbies in dating won't understand this

@rafreyes5140

Жыл бұрын

@Nernest Wilson i think if you are attracted to someone (or at least committed to them) you kind of neglect the things that are not that pleasant about them, you tend to focus more on their qualities

@rafreyes5140

Жыл бұрын

@Nernest Wilson which one? you're staying because you are 'attracted' to them or because you are committed? i think attraction can be temporary being committed is a choice or maybe after those people you met you realize what really attracts you, mine is someone's way of thinking

“Love is not just the admiration for strength, it is also tolerance for weakness and recognition of ambivalence”.

@edwinpepela1205

4 жыл бұрын

You are loved

@cipryan96

4 жыл бұрын

Not the case for the men's.

@emmanuelacquah8582

4 жыл бұрын

i feel this quote..

@anuradhainamdar8967

4 жыл бұрын

I agree.

@tyronekim3506

3 жыл бұрын

The quote you stated is the guy's opinion what love is. You can replace the word "love" with the word "respect" in the quote and get an opinion on what is respecting a person. I was disappointed that he didn't cite any studies on marriage. I'm asking myself is he an expert or a charlatan. Be safe and in good health.

"Sometimes we reject wonderful or nice people . . . when we meet them we say 'they aren't that exciting or they are a bit boring.' What we really mean is that we've detected in this really quite accomplished person, someone who will not be able to make us suffer in a way that we need to suffer in order to feel that love is real . . . and that's why we reject them. We are not merely on a quest to be happy, we are on a quest to suffer in ways that feel familiar. This undermines our capacity to find a good partner."

@rahuljha6774

5 ай бұрын

Wow

@MsBrehay

4 ай бұрын

Except for the fact that some people are genuinely boring or rather stupid? Which leads to feelings of a lack of respect and it's important to respect a partner. Why should someone settle for someone they view as boring? This seemingly deep quote is just another example of ignoring very real nuances of human interaction.

@rahuljha6774

4 ай бұрын

@@MsBrehay boring and stupid people find other equally boring and stupid people to find happiness and love. The trouble is when the partnership is not equal in terms of intellect and understanding. This is the case where I find a lot of merit in what is written above.

@tigisthailuasfawossen6312

2 ай бұрын

Scary

“Demanding perfection will only lead to loneliness” Wow, what an amazing piece of advice. As a person who has struggled with loneliness over most of my life and feeling isolated from my loved ones, this advice makes me see things in a different light. This not only applies to marriage, but to every loving relationship we have in life, we must work with people and their flaws, and make each other better every day.

@patriciamaeda852

Жыл бұрын

And that’s why I’ll never date again,…

@fs5866

Жыл бұрын

You can't demand perfection but you can demand improvement.

@plenaryverbalist

Жыл бұрын

@@fs5866 you can demand whatever the fuck you want. You can also be denied.

@cockeyedoptimista

Жыл бұрын

And demanding perfection from ourselves too.

@bsuong

10 ай бұрын

Yes we all need to grow into better people everyday.

"Addiction is basically any pattern of behaviour where you cannot stand to be with yourself": a very deep thought, indeed.

@jorddalord5400

3 жыл бұрын

It's so true. Recently i've realised this

@andu__

3 жыл бұрын

addiction to what?

@jazzenmor3483

3 жыл бұрын

Still trying to digest

@whitey3618

3 жыл бұрын

@@andu__ anything

@saosaqii5807

3 жыл бұрын

And idiots find things framed another way to be so profound and deep when it’s really not

I have heard about a man who remained unmarried his whole life, and when he was dying, ninety years old, somebody asked him, “You have remained unmarried your whole life, but you have never said what the reason was. Now you are dying, at least quench our curiosity. If there is any secret, now you can tell it, because you are dying; you will be gone. Even if the secret is known, it can’t harm you.” The man said, “Yes, there is a secret. It is not that I am against marriage, but I was searching for a perfect woman. I searched and searched, and my whole life slipped by.” The inquirer asked, “But upon this big earth, so many millions of people, half of them women, couldn’t you find one perfect woman?” A tear rolled down from the eye of the dying man. He said, “Yes, I did find one.” The inquirer was absolutely shocked. He said, “Then what happened? Why didn’t you get married?” And the old man said, “But the woman was searching for a perfect husband.” Osho - The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha

@gracemoore384

5 жыл бұрын

Mohamed Hn

@LesG985

5 жыл бұрын

Well, shit.

@acvo7

5 жыл бұрын

Wowwww, the feels!!!

@gelgiron6262

5 жыл бұрын

Mohamed Hnini nice

@MegaDenaz

5 жыл бұрын

Mohamed Hnini good story

‘We are all incompatible, but it is the work of love to make us graciously accommodate each other and ourselves to each other a incompatibilities and therefore compatibility is and achievement of love’ this right there ♥️

@ct6852

Жыл бұрын

That's a nice thought and I mostly agree. But some are especially toxic for each other. Sometimes you gotta run in the opposite direction.

@jackdawson5273

Жыл бұрын

NO IT AINT, YA JUST SCARED SHITLESS OF BEING ALONE, INSECURE AINT YA. STOP LIEING AND TALK THE UGLY TRUTH YA FKN MORON. YOU ARE A FRAUD

@86sineadw

Жыл бұрын

@@ct6852 That's the point, love isn't toxic. As in authentic love isn't toxic. Compatibility is 'a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict'. So compatibility is achieved when there is authentic love (not toxicity). I know there are relationships where people are abused, and you're right you should run in the opposite direction. But this statement does not apply to that scenario, because authentic love and compatibility aren't the same as toxicity.

@shubhankarsingh7458

Жыл бұрын

Lovely !!

@Mileys_choice

Жыл бұрын

@レリック Mmmkay.... and you felt the need to comment on that why, exactly?

I’ve read many books on relationships, I’ve listened to many hundreds of hours of audio and video on relationships, I’ve personally been in many relationships trying to understand what makes a successful lasting and happy one; THIS is a 20 minute masterclass on relationships as good as I’ve ever read or heard!

@lamusic1996

Жыл бұрын

You summarized this video in a best way. Thank you.

@sethtenrec

8 ай бұрын

@@lamusic1996 I didn’t see any summary at all, but a very brief review, perhaps. Certainly, no summary, you might want to read up on your dictionary a little. Also, remember, I’m only taking the trouble to criticize you out of love.

This video raised my maturity level by 50 years

@emmanuelacquah8582

4 жыл бұрын

hahahahahaha

@Tashy414

4 жыл бұрын

LOL

@themaggattack

3 жыл бұрын

SERIOUSLY!

@FantasticExplorers

3 жыл бұрын

Correc!

@chrisding1976

3 жыл бұрын

So your 12?

I deliberately looked for a women who was completely different than my parents, and that made all the difference. We were married for 29 years until her body lost the ability to contain her soul.

@alannajm

3 жыл бұрын

what a beautiful way to word it

@tlaoltjenbruns9580

3 жыл бұрын

I am absolutely pleased that you met and spent so much time with such a wonderful person! I don't feel the need to say "I'm sorry for your loss" because that may discredit all the good times you had with her. Instead I'll say "I admire the fact that you two stayed together for so long". I want that. I want someone who I can work through problems with as an adult and who I know will be willing to see my side of the story... even if I'm wrong/at fault and we both know it.

@ashpasch6004

3 жыл бұрын

So sorry hope you're okay now.🙏💗

@kompanjonac

3 жыл бұрын

Very smart move

@judithmcbride4023

3 жыл бұрын

Your comment abt your wife brings tears to my eyes. GOD bless you.❤️

My personal advice on marriage is to stop looking for everything you want in one person and start looking for everything you NEED. This is where knowing yourself comes in because it's hard to separate the two. Relationships are about compromise. Not just loving relationships; every relationship. So find what you can compromise on and what you can't, find someone who fulfills your needs, and HOPE that you fulfill theirs.

@secreteobsession3584

Жыл бұрын

I need communication it was not there

@elissa1660

Жыл бұрын

Wow. Thx so much

@anna-lenab8343

Жыл бұрын

This is really good advice! Thank you for the inspiration

@ct6852

Жыл бұрын

Finding someone who truly wants to make you happy is rare, and should be appreciated for what it is.

@sam.r8610

Жыл бұрын

Compromise is bad word it's abt two people who understand each other and respect both values

Wow, as a 20-year old this speech made me really think about love in new ways.

@giedreknisevskyte8133

Жыл бұрын

Same

@urbanmetal7802

10 ай бұрын

Young people are at a disadvantage in terms of understanding what real love is. In the future people will grow colder.

He is so right. Those of us who have long time marriages, have generally discovered this. We who have been married a long time have come to realize we are married to another human being, with flaws, virtues, strengths, weaknesses, just like we ourselves have. We learned that marriage takes work, and we don't always feel in love, but our marriage isn't just based on how we feel, it's based also on our dedication to making our relationship work.

@iolet.9695

4 жыл бұрын

♡

@daisyflowers9334

4 жыл бұрын

I guess one has to ask themselves how they got to the point where there is no more love for that person. How did it happen, what brought it to that point. Maybe there is still love, but the unhappy spouse just wants something to stop that is ruining the marriage.

@clairecadoux324

4 жыл бұрын

thank you for that superb articulation. it can be very hard for the damaged humans who had a wibbly wobbly start.

@daisyflowers9334

4 жыл бұрын

LOL, we are all damaged to some extent. It just seems that those of us who have managed to have long term marriages, have decided to make changes that are conducive to a happy marriage. A bit of sage advice my dear Mom gave me when I was first married was if you want to make your Marriage work then you have to do loving things for your spouse even if you don't feel that way, because it's in the doing that creates the feeling, when it isn't there to begin with.

@bizmonkey007

4 жыл бұрын

Daisy Flowers “Marriage takes work” - you mean it’s not a fairytale and is more like an investment? There would be fewer divorces if people came to that realization before getting married. Sex and love can make people blind though

"You cannot have perfection and company. To be in company with another person is to be negotiating imperfection every day"

@shudhanshuchoudhary1323

3 жыл бұрын

I was actually finding someone to highlight this phrase ..

@lorrainesekera4100

2 жыл бұрын

I wrote this down as well!

@shukosworld5754

2 жыл бұрын

🙂🙂👌🏿

@aimeeh1532

2 жыл бұрын

I just finally understood this about a relatoomship.. that It's imperfect..we are imperfect..💜

@Njele

2 жыл бұрын

Yes sir

My wedding is in a week, and this talk was very comforting- no joke

@Roaming725

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations!!!

@arianamontenegro5528

Жыл бұрын

Simp

@KnightSansk

Жыл бұрын

@@maiahi She already did, and the wedding was lovely, thanks for asking.

@anjalisingh-bh1gi

Жыл бұрын

You must be married by now. Wishing that you both learn to accomodate each other's incompatibilities graciously and with humility. Also, that your love only grows stronger. Congrats!

@KnightSansk

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this wisdom, and yes as you grow together you learn to accept the other person and even change for them(this is done on both partner's ends) and I'm happy to say that we've been closer than ever.

I love this talk and watched it multiple times over the years. I now see one big problem with it. It assumes that the partner - even though they might not be the best match for us - has good intentions. When this is not the case, trying to shut down your instincts and compromise can lead to some very dangerous places. I don’t think we should be glorifying the idea that we kinda suck so if someone sticks around we should just be grateful. Trying to improve yourself as a person and as a partner in an unhealthy context can lead to trauma because it will never be good enough for someone who does not actually care for you. Take it with a pinch of salt.

@summersalix

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying this. This is an important point that can trap many people

@gagamonster1049

Жыл бұрын

Agree

@hablahabla6653

10 ай бұрын

Underrated comment

@lukedevlin5948

10 ай бұрын

I have always believed that a true good partner is one that inspires you to better yourself, no through pressure or insults but just instinctively. When you have two people who share this feeling you have a strong relationship

@carlstanford7607

9 ай бұрын

I think it’s speaking to typical couples as opposed to toxic relationships and what a great point you make clarifying it. Well done

Can't marry the wrong person if you never get married.

@bongekandwandwe5205

3 жыл бұрын

PREACH

@melonabd

3 жыл бұрын

you'll *regret* that

@supercomputer0448

3 жыл бұрын

@@melonabd are you *shure* about that?

@spekcz

3 жыл бұрын

Abdullah Alhamada tell that to priests

@sebastianlee6695

3 жыл бұрын

that is quite the immature response

My husband, may he rest in peace, was the most patient and forgiving person I have ever known. We married young, but he was mature and I was still acting somewhat like rebellious teen. He understood that my parents were very strict and I had very little freedom to do much. Anyway, he understood that I didn't want to feel like I was being bossed around. When we were just married, the first time I thought he was being bossy I yelled at him that he wasn't my father. He said, You're right. I'm your husband and you have to help me decide what we are going to do now. Wow! That was a surprise! Now, to be very honest that wasn't the only time I was unreasonable, but he was always patient. After a few years I can say that he helped me become mature. I tell people that he finished raising me. God bless him! We had children and grandchildren and each other for 36 years. He's been gone 17 years and I still miss him. I was blessed to have him in my life. I wouldn't be who I am without him. God blessed me with a wonderful man who loved me as I was and nurtured me to become a better person. Peace and blessings to all!

@angr3819

2 жыл бұрын

That is lovely. I am so sorry he passed away, although I don't doubt he watches over and waits patiently for you.

@lt_saw

2 жыл бұрын

@@angr3819 "waits patiently for you" - the creepiest thing I heard in this year so far

@angr3819

2 жыл бұрын

@@lt_saw Troll bot.

@someawsomeguy100

2 жыл бұрын

This is very touching

@lizardking2054

2 жыл бұрын

That was a really nice story. You get it that he probably passed away so young (I'm guessing in his late 50s, younger 60s) beacuse you casused him so much worries?

I actually like listening to Alain talk. He doesn't drag on or repeat himself, he cuts straight to the point and actually teaches you something new. Thank you for the lesson and the free information.

this is a hidden gem . 20 minute pure teaching ! THANK YOU ALAIN DE BOTTON

When I can't stand my husband of 30 years another day, I think about how many people couldn't stand me.

@GUITARTIME2024

5 жыл бұрын

omg. very self aware and very surprising to hear a woman say that.

@oroville12345

4 жыл бұрын

I like your honesty 😉 you make a wonderful wife.

@constantvictory3547

4 жыл бұрын

@@oroville12345 Thank you. It is my pride and joy that he thinks so too.

@MandyJMaddison

4 жыл бұрын

GuitarGuy, I must say that it is not even the tiniest bit surprising to hear a man respond in the manner that you did. One hopes for a little more awareness. But hopes diappoint us, don't they?

@constantvictory3547

4 жыл бұрын

@@MandyJMaddison How do you think a married woman should feel about her husband? Just because you have lowered yourself for unworthy men doesn't mean we all have. I hope that one day you find a man you can feel this way about, poor thing.

"We are out to find partners who feel familiar...we are on a quest to suffer in ways that feel familiar." Jesus, that's insightful. I needed this talk 20 years ago...

@callmekite

3 жыл бұрын

contemplativegirl21 it’s not too late even still!

@erwandomine250

3 жыл бұрын

I am still Young with no experience in relationships. What would you recommend I make of this statement?

@chocomintzzz

3 жыл бұрын

@@erwandomine250 asking myself this same question

@marissa9335

3 жыл бұрын

@erwan domainé @chocomint well it’s just a way of saying you’ll hurt in ways you have before in your childhood because it’ll feel familiar you’ll think it’s love if I make sense, per say you’re in a relationship with someone and they have some similarities to a parent or guardian that has cared for you. Whether it be good and bad the reason you love them is because they probably resemble that love you have been given when you were younger. I don’t know I’m not good with words it’s my best take at explaining it.

@redvelvetcakeYUM

3 жыл бұрын

Marissa A perfect explanation. The subconscious brain rules us all.

The part about a "catastrophic amount of sulking" was so damn good. Learning how to communicate and teach my partner what I need has been a long journey, but it has made our relationship so much healthier.

This man is literally reading everybody's emotions. Damn! The clarity he has 🙌

My best relationship started when I realized I don't need anyone to be happy.

@jakebullet1731

2 жыл бұрын

Become a Stoic. Being content in your own company is a superpower these days.

@josiahcaterino

2 жыл бұрын

@@jakebullet1731 Being alone and being lonely are two very different things.

@beactivebehappy9894

2 жыл бұрын

I read it in the wrong way, as in I don't want anyone to be happy, in a sadistic way. Realised how swapping two similar words in change the entire sentiment.

@rebeccaimmel4160

2 жыл бұрын

Hallelujah

@rodneymcinnes9434

2 жыл бұрын

You are the master of your own feelings..once you nail that then you realise you don't need anyone too be happy then your a better partner ..thanks for spreading the message..

Married my best friend and never looked back. Don't marry someone you're primarily sexually attracted to, because that goes away. Marry someone you like because that feeling stays.

@syedraidarsalan4685

2 жыл бұрын

I viewed this comment with my best friend, who is of opposite gender… one of the most uncomfortable moments in my life so far.

@s3r3n4sm4r7

2 жыл бұрын

I married my best friend, 16 years together so far. 11 years of marriage and 5 kids. ❤

@zekoomrkva

2 жыл бұрын

@@syedraidarsalan4685 are you attracted to her at all?

@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823

2 жыл бұрын

Well, not really, but if you say so...look at divorce rate.

@baum7des7lebens7

2 жыл бұрын

"that goes away"? Not necessarily

Ah, good to put a face to a voice. Alain, not only does your voice convey such eloquence and articulation, but a sense of genuine compassion and authenticity. Thank you for your creation and sharings.

He is so right. And our society taught us so much wrong concepts about love, because of that we often feel confused about our relationship. I love this man's speech and way of presentation. No one is perfect, we don't need perfectionism. All we want is real, the unique ones with their own imperfections. Those impressions makes them special. Accept your partner with their imperfections ♥️

"If you ever feel useless just think of the papers he's holding"

@romanbanfield9066

2 жыл бұрын

9:30

@amyfox4829

2 жыл бұрын

underrated comment 😂😂

@MEOW-ys8jk

2 жыл бұрын

ur slow it's a small script or bullet list so he's on topic

@complexjanedoe

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao regardless I got a good laugh

@gameplaydrive

2 жыл бұрын

Did you just compare me with papers? Guess I am useless

"My task today is to turn that anger into sadness" The School of Life in a nutshell

@theschooloflifetv

6 жыл бұрын

You understand us PERFECTLY.

@MattMatrixJohnson

6 жыл бұрын

Masquerola And that sadness into personal growth

@Swishead

6 жыл бұрын

nice meme

@smasherlord

6 жыл бұрын

Fairy Khamari I would say that the unwillingness of the other person to grow and become better alongside you, or if that person causes you immense or repeated intense pain, then you're both probably not ready for that. If you have tried but they have not, then that would be the time to leave.

@koja69

6 жыл бұрын

Masquerola I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that :D

This man is brilliant. So many knowledge in a 22min speech. Thank you so much for uploading this

I'm a firm believer that love is something that needs to be built. It's true that so many people expect it to be something that just happens and has a chance to last or a chance to fail, but lately I've been much more of a fan of the idea of creating love from scratch. All it needs is some degree of familiarity and likeness, in order to establish a connection, but the rest is all about work and responsibility, which need to be fulfilling in some way. Thanks to my long-term partner for setting me on the path where I can discover and learn this, as well as exercise it over and over, every single day.

The message is not to not get married, but to accept your imperfection

@northernguy8860

5 жыл бұрын

And, as Alain says, to "apply charity and generosity" when interpreting another's behaviour.

@PeopleHealthTru

5 жыл бұрын

@@TristalisVitae God doesn't make mistakes. What God has joined together, let no one separate. There is a reason, perhaps to test if you love God above all.

@PeopleHealthTru

5 жыл бұрын

@@TristalisVitae to save people 20+ minutes of watching these videos

@jackmars931

4 жыл бұрын

Then his message is wrong. Just because someone stands on a stage and some people clap doesn't mean they are anyone special. He has no more insight than any random youtube commenter...the people that already agree with him and whose opinions he reinforces will think he's wonderful, the rest will think he's an idiot.

@nataliasliwinska4379

4 жыл бұрын

Your and your partner's imperfections

he is talking at the perfect speed so satisfying

@kingkang6877

3 жыл бұрын

Totally. I don't have to do 1.5x or 2x speed

@ayszhang

3 жыл бұрын

I still watched at 1.5

@TheOldBearTime

3 жыл бұрын

I did 2x speed, lol

@eggxecution

3 жыл бұрын

he slows down then speaks quickly and slows down again and again. LOL

@tho207

3 жыл бұрын

I did 10x - the 1x-upper kid

My mum hasn't hesitated to tell me every flaw of mine so dont worry I know all of my difficulties to live with

@pastelove

Жыл бұрын

fr 😭

@ThatReadingGuy28

Жыл бұрын

That must be soul crushing, I'm so sorry to hear that. 😢

@magicmoonart

Жыл бұрын

@@ThatReadingGuy28 if you guys want to see how she talks to and treats me I have started a play list of all the videos and voice recordings of the way she yells and screams if I don't do as she wants and acts like the perfect carer. She's got limited mobility and I'm her carer and it's a nightmare. Feel like I've been coerced Into this and have spent my youth on this and not managed to have a life of my own

This was hilariously entertaining! 😅 I love the way he phrases the common pitfalls of relationships. Good advice...communication & grace is key! 🙌

Here's my advice... marry a kind person. I did and I'm grateful for it every day! If someone is mean, letting you down, critical let it go. More :) than :(.

@alexnguyen2557

4 жыл бұрын

That's the type of person I would look for in life

@martymarl4602

4 жыл бұрын

@Sunny Delight , you aren't very sunny or delightful are you?...lol

@magnamia

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this! :)

@aaronk3788

4 жыл бұрын

@@alexnguyen2557 same here

@tawvnmgmt7744

4 жыл бұрын

@Sunny Delight Lisa said 'a kind person' not 'a perfect person'.

"Love is a skill. A skill that need to be learned. And a skill that our society refuses to consider as a skill"

@eduardochavacano

2 жыл бұрын

Love viewed as a skill may still make it what it should not be about manipulation. Love should be natural and by instincts. Marriage being a business agreement should require skill. Two people signing a contract to do theater base on a narrative designed to please society. While marriage is beautiful. Some people ruined it for a lot of people, example, very effeminate men who are married to a woman and society is expected to cheer for them in social media as they celebrate their sham of a marriage, which is a laughing stock for as long as the husband can’t even smile on a photo without looking like a princess trying to be a lesbian to escape an arranged marriage.

@snowbird1381

2 жыл бұрын

We try to love. But we get work, school and busy shit shoved in our faces. It costs an arm and a leg just to get by now. There’s no room for romantic love anymore.

@NungTriCao9999

2 жыл бұрын

No, no, no. Love is nature

@elonever.2.071

2 жыл бұрын

@@snowbird1381 Romantic love is a state of mind. *You are always in a state of mind.* Why not tweak the dial a little so no matter who you are with, or whatever you are doing, it will be done with love instead of obligation.

@wilfredv1930

2 жыл бұрын

please remind me something, Was he reading an essay? own notes? any author? I was very absort about the talk that I didnt realize of that document he had in his hands

Oh my, I do love this. I first listened to it just a couple of years after my marriage of twenty five years ended. I giggled a bit then, but five years later it’s a joy and a laugh out loud experience. Alain de Botton is a genius teacher! ❤️😂👏👏👏

This is by far the best presentation I’ve seen in regards to relationships. I am so happy I stumbled across this wonderfully thought provoking and enlightening peice!

Bold of you to assume I’ll get married. Edit: it’s not that deep I’m just ugly ✌️

@Rozeg666

4 жыл бұрын

@@Bluejelly13 Who're those "us" you're talking about?

@radiatorbacon5239

4 жыл бұрын

@@Bluejelly13 living together in fact does not count as marriage at all. I don't know why you would think such a thing.

@devinbradshaw9756

4 жыл бұрын

I hope you never get married

@Paine010

4 жыл бұрын

I absolutely will be living alone my whole life. Well, a dog, but that's it.

@kateyaw16

4 жыл бұрын

You do you

"Our parents won't tell us what's wrong with us, they love us too much." Children of toxic/abusive parents: 👀

@sweetacacia7850

3 жыл бұрын

They don't though they tell us what's wrong with them

@isidoramaggana9733

3 жыл бұрын

Toxic, abusive, distant parents won't tell /teach you anything anyway..

@frankteng

3 жыл бұрын

I had both former in my aunt and latter my mom who have both raised me. But I love them both now.

@mpeeragloria7757

3 жыл бұрын

Right😂

@lou3574

3 жыл бұрын

This made me laugh thank you hahaha

"Love is not just admiration for strength, it is also tolerance for weakness and recognition of ambivalence" Amazing explanation man, I learned quite a lot of things here

Probably one of the most helpful relationship videos I’ve ever watched. Thank you

"If you cannot explain, you'll never be understood". That's deep!

@A_ldo..

3 жыл бұрын

How do i explain

@lydiaheelu2681

3 жыл бұрын

@@A_ldo.. Communicate and communicate some more. I believe more marriages would be more healthier and divorce would be avoided if we speak more with each other about our thoughts, feelings, expectations, fears, disappointments, goals and so forth. Human beings are not mind-readers, so people can only meet us as far as we’re willing to reveal of who we are, what we want and expect. If we don’t explain, people are going to make assumptions about us and those are most certainly bound to be wrong. So the best is to tell and show people who we are and what we want so they don’t end up misunderstanding us. I hope that small explanation helped a little bit 😊😊. On a personal note, I’m very forth coming about what I want and expect. I feel it’s my responsibility to represent myself very clearly so I’m not misunderstood.....especially in my marriage and by those who matter to me. I’m my own representative to others and no human being knows me better than me.

@stevedoetsch

3 жыл бұрын

If you don't need to be understood you'll be a man; if you need to be understood you'll be a woman.

@roamer1389

3 жыл бұрын

Every introverts worst nightmare 😔

@charmainalane

3 жыл бұрын

@@stevedoetsch i dont "need" to be understood, I find that simply being loved is what I need and want at any given moment..this is enough.

"To love someone is to apply charity, and generosity of interpretation.." What an immensely helpful statement.

@GodiscomingBhappy

3 жыл бұрын

unless you are married to a psychopath and runs you to the ground whilst you are applying "generosity in your interpretation"

@pennykanyaucat

3 жыл бұрын

@@GodiscomingBhappy Well then you aren't loving yourself.

@xenochrist15

3 жыл бұрын

Not if your partner has zero compassion.

@gigizuzu8479

3 жыл бұрын

The problem with this is that you could apply "generosity of interpretation" or in other words give your partner the benefit of the doubt until the day of your death while you are being taken advantage of and expected to apply exactly that with them so they can get away with anything. And once you realize that it's one sided and that this great characteristic of yours is abused and exploited you know you married the wrong person. Not as bad as you, worse.

@sonyavincent7450

3 жыл бұрын

My mother was actively jealous of me and tried to undermine me all my life.

Each sentence was meaningful and informative… such a power packed no nonsense delivery… he shared knowledge worth 300 pages in 20 minutes.

I heard something here that I didn't expect. I've just learned that I hadn't learned the lesson of people being both good and bad. I tend to drop people or run away when they're unkind. Something I should bring up in therapy. Thank you ❤️

Him: Most of you are addicts, you distract yourself so you don’t have to cope with yourself. Me: Watching this video to silence my inner critic because I’m procrastinating the work I should be doing.

@yzma6142

3 жыл бұрын

This was too accurate to my life lmfao

@nickhubbard78

3 жыл бұрын

I feel more normal every time I see one of these comments. Thank you for sharing. Noticing we're distracted is the first step.

@KennethSee

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, that really hit home.

@bojanban5552

3 жыл бұрын

I am working and watching this video is a part of my study :D

@paulgibbons2320

2 жыл бұрын

Your so right.

“Love is a skill.” After nearly two years of marriage, I can assure you this is spot on! Love is a skill that can be learned, but only through patience, humility, and commitment.

@mygirldarby

2 жыл бұрын

Two years? You're still at the very beginning! It gets challenging and complicated as the years go by. After 23 years of marriage, I realize I still have so much to learn.

@wesleyhargon

2 жыл бұрын

@@mygirldarby You're absolutely right! I aim to be where you are. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. 🙂

@marshmallowvampire8503

2 жыл бұрын

I love this

@desi1844

2 жыл бұрын

Love is a skill!!? Lol

@SVURulez

Жыл бұрын

Sounds more like a burden than a gift.

If only learning in school was this practical, interesting and engaging. Some wonderful gems packed into his presentation. Should be required viewing from K-12++. Thank you for sharing this with me and the world.

To be in company with another person is to be negotiating perfection everyday. Love this reality check.

"We all think love is just an instinct. No! Love is a skill, and a skill that needs to be learned" - Very well said! Thank you for another fantastic (and insightful) video

@vordman

2 жыл бұрын

Lust is an instinct.

@joyduru2374

2 жыл бұрын

Very right

@Paperwings90

2 жыл бұрын

I'd still say early stages of love and general affection go a lot by instinct, it's just a very different love when it comes to being together for years.

@charitymills442

2 жыл бұрын

DIDNT LEARN IT, SO I LOST IT

@MochaZilla

2 жыл бұрын

Love is not a skill, love is action. And doesnt always come with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

Question: What is love? a. Baby, don't hurt me b. Don't hurt me c. No more

@donnaporter5409

4 жыл бұрын

It is many things. One place to start is by remembering that one thing that love DOES is that it causes one to put the needs of their partner above their own...and do it willingly & without having to actually think about it.

@debbiemoore2747

4 жыл бұрын

@Unlucky Fat Guy damn it lol you beat me to the punch ha ha ha

@debbiemoore2747

4 жыл бұрын

@@donnaporter5409 You understand that he put lyrics from a Haddaway song lol

@donnaporter5409

4 жыл бұрын

@@debbiemoore2747 of course!😉😂

@cathrynmitchell1607

4 жыл бұрын

Donna Porter I

This was the best thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life it should be taught in school before you graduate! This is truly eye-opening real facts that would cut the divorce rates in half…. Bravo well done… this should be played on the nightly news for every household to watch💯❤️❤️

The first 60 seconds of this lecture kind of helps me understand why my teenage daughter acts the way she does. Thanks for helping me understand her behavior a bit better!

Woah! He just said our parents will never tell us what is wrong with us? That's all my parents did my whole life! What world does he live in?? it sounds great!

@robmausser

4 жыл бұрын

If you had parents that berated you or were mean in such a way, they most likely were still being dishonest with you. They weren't telling you the truth of what is wrong with you, they were telling you what they didn't like about you, or what they didn't like about themselves. Completely different than what is actually wrong with you.

@ichoosemysanity6467

4 жыл бұрын

My parents were Capricorns they would tell me trust me!

@emilygee6618

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like conditional love. Like under certain circumstances they showed approval and love. God on the other hand, wants us to be like Him and have *Unconditional* love. To choose to love, even when people aren't perfect. Which people never are😂. I mean He died for us when we were being absolutely ungodly. We were far from perfect when he gave us the ultimate gift.

@justadjustor8993

4 жыл бұрын

Hello fellow Asian. That's all. 'Nuff said 😂🤣.

@ichoosemysanity6467

4 жыл бұрын

@@emilygee6618 I know people who got unconditional love and they live in their parents garage for 50 years. Honestly nobody likes being pushed but the results are greatness.

“To love is to have the willingness to interpret someone’s not very appealing behaviour on the surface to find more benevolent reasons why it may be unfolding.” Wow! That’s the most powerful definition of love I’ve ever heard.

@PinkyMinions

3 жыл бұрын

@@AmaraSoGolden it means to love someone you have to look beyond the shell of their behavior and see the good beneath it

@rashid7735

3 жыл бұрын

But what if u cant find any benevolent reasons below the surface?

@PinkyMinions

3 жыл бұрын

@@rashid7735 if the surface is what matters, then that’s at best a 3 year relationship

@rashid7735

3 жыл бұрын

@@PinkyMinions No thats not what I mean. A women (over-)reacts in a different manner (emotional) to things, which is sometimes unlogical and unnecessary in my opinion. When I try to reasonate, sometimes i cant find a good reason for their 'not very appealing behaviour" under the surface, making it harder to maintain paitience...

@TessaForrester

3 жыл бұрын

@@rashid7735 I try to think about what kind of suffering the other person may be battling inside to cause them to act this way. The same way I try to show myself this compassion when I've behaved in ways I'm not proud of. It's often underlying fear of something, and that usually helps me find compassion for the behaviour. Helps me to remember they are a person too, and inside we all have the same hopes and dreams and suffer in the same way. Instead of feeling contempt towards someone whose behaviour I don't like. It's something I have to remind myself of and practice everyday. It's helped me accept and love myself more too.

I came here after a breakup and this line hit me: “The full display of our characters, the full articulation of who we are should not be something we do in front of anyone that we care about.“ I just did that two days ago and it cost me a beautiful relationship. I should have been more graceful. :-(

@alumsangtam902

Жыл бұрын

Same here

I have never thought of love in this way. This is brilliant. To the people that have found love and are truly happy, congratulations that’s exceptional!

I'm going to tell my girlfriend that I think she is "a good enough person". I have no doubts she'll feel overwhelmed with flattery. Edit Aug 2020: To those asking if we’re still together: Yes, we’re now married! Just kidding. We broke up.

@olivinecityjasmine

6 жыл бұрын

I sent my girlfriend the whole fucking video actually. Jesus was she mad at first.

@crystallizationofthesoul7095

5 жыл бұрын

@Di Ane Noo but working on the flaws is! ;)

@anitaares8271

5 жыл бұрын

As long as you follow it up with; "And I hope that you'll think that I am too." Her answer will tell you much.

@fabulousdolphin4221

5 жыл бұрын

haha

@0nlyThis

5 жыл бұрын

If she is at all honest, she will admit that she too is "settling for" the best she can get. Good luck on that.

Socrates screaming from the back: -FIRST OF ALL... DEFINE LOVE.

@Ketaki2024

4 жыл бұрын

😊😊

@SashyGryphyth

4 жыл бұрын

@@victoriadorgu3207 You said he was the narse, but you were the stalking gf. Btw, that kind of privacy invasion has laws against it in some places but you sound like an advert. I hope you find the peace in yourself that you won't be so harmed by what you think people think of you.

@chrizihart3016

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@sydneybrooks6038

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@hfortenberry

4 жыл бұрын

He DID define it. Go back and watch again and pay attention this time. ;-)

Refreshing. Totally refreshing. I'm not married. Had relationships that had its ups and downs and remain friends. I like his view on love. It's very true. Disney honestly is not love. I wish they taught us this. I think he is hopeful that love is real and wouldn't it be wonderful if we understood it better?

Love is not just admiration for strength it is also tolerance for weakness and recognition of ambivalence.

There's something about this video that makes me forgive everyone I know, and I like that feeling.

@oi8542

2 жыл бұрын

Beautiful message

@mightymight24

2 жыл бұрын

Empathy

@meluk6991

2 жыл бұрын

Vulnerability is a good thing.

@soumendranayak5963

2 жыл бұрын

Perfectly True 😘😄

@julianaihunanyaanioke4545

2 жыл бұрын

And your comment just made me love whoever you’re ❤️

1:29 "It is in fact hope that drives rage." 4:01 "Probably after 10 minutes acquaintance, a stranger will know more about your flaws than you might know over 40 years of life on the planet." 8:18 "If you keep following your feelings, you will almost certainly make a big mistake." 11:25 "So love is not just admiration for strength, it is also tolerance for weakness & recognition for ambivalence." 12:07 "You can't think too much; you can only ever think badly [instead of too much]." 12:52 "In other words, quite a lot about our early experiences of love are bound up with various kinds of suffering." 14:57 "We sulk with people who we feel should understand us, & yet, for some reason, decided not to." 17:17 "No one should accept the whole of us." 18:29 "You cannot have perfection & company." There are some banger-ass quotes in this vid; thanks The School of Life. Have a nice day, everyone!!

@Chicklife4life

2 жыл бұрын

Brilliant information

@ninasagemerten9325

2 жыл бұрын

You thank a person who holds you down for a minor version of self-realization? Turn to the heavens instead, I invite you.

@hellenacherokeechen9875

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@soumyomitra8975

2 жыл бұрын

9:10 "To love someone is to apply charity and generosity of interpretation" 👏👏👏

@coreycox2345

2 жыл бұрын

Banger-ass is right, Bald Perspective.

Sir, you have no idea how you changed my life astronomically. Thank You.

This man has wisdom and I feel so helped just listening to this short talk. Thank you 🙏🏻

I feel like someone kicked me in the balls and said “that wasn’t so bad” then ran away

@mrs_morrow318

4 жыл бұрын

😂

@jared8515

3 жыл бұрын

and then something

@tonivargo6585

3 жыл бұрын

Ooof

@sakurashounen

3 жыл бұрын

Right?

@kristinehatkinson7323

3 жыл бұрын

That;s the conundrum, Kevin. Need it, vs. in most cases it hurts.

I like how he cut a part out of the Kierkegaard quote - “Marry, and you will regret it; don’t marry, you will also regret it; marry or don’t marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world’s foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world’s foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don’t hang yourself, you’ll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

@jameshammond3853

4 жыл бұрын

Philosophy is inferior

@nanon7695

3 жыл бұрын

James Hammond to what?

@jameshammond3853

3 жыл бұрын

@@nanon7695 U tell me

@nanon7695

3 жыл бұрын

James Hammond No YOU tell ME

@hailbaphomet

3 жыл бұрын

@@jameshammond3853 That statement makes no sense whatsoever.

Wow, this hits truly❤️ was a blast to hear it. I just loved every second of it. Could listen to you for days. Thanks

‘there are no heroes or sinners’ - quote of the talk for me, thank you!

You married the wrong person because you dated the wrong person and you knew it since the beginning. You just didn't want to see what was in front of you, and you hoped what was real, wasn't. In other words, you were impatient and you settled for fear of maybe not finding anyone. Better to be heart broken for a short time than broke as a person for a lifetime.

@GoOutside321

3 жыл бұрын

Your feelings, infatuation, etc. are all part of your projections. We are all broken people. BE the perfect person you want and stop looking for the perfect person for you, they don’t exist.

@baneoforcs5078

3 жыл бұрын

Did you finish the video? The message is more that we are all human, and no one is perfect, even if you happen to find something(s) that seem so. Everybody has faults, even if they seem great for the first week, month, year, that we can't jive with. The trick is working with/accepting/compromising to become a symbiotic couple rather than 2 people living together.

@namhlamhlalase9112

3 жыл бұрын

if you would date everyone in the world. would find the right person? mmmm.. people are molded by the works they group in. all human being are from the same world.

@beatrixbrennan1545

2 жыл бұрын

In other words, we need to live in the REALITY of the person, not the POTENTIAL. Don't ignore red flags in the beginning because you want to see the potential for them to be better. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

@germandavidurdaneta4034

2 жыл бұрын

"you knew it since the beginning" FUCKING ACCURATEEEEEEEEE

I’m always impressed by people who can give long talks but don’t say ‘ummm’ and ‘like’ 😅

@minahniedzwiecki8525

3 жыл бұрын

Practice 😊

@highstakes1235

3 жыл бұрын

He definitely went to a private school where the Queen’s English is taught

@tungkuartisanal5332

3 жыл бұрын

He did say ‘ummm’ @ 17:53 😅

@adriandacruz9018

2 жыл бұрын

Hes really good. Level 10.

@tonybai3204

2 жыл бұрын

0:09

So good to hear those words... HUMOR IS THE KEY ! My heart thank you Mister Botton

I love school of life but I had no idea you were so hilarious and well spoken in public speaking. I thought I’d click on this video momentarily and watch it for five seconds to satisfy my curiosity, but I was captivated all the way through.

He nailed it, we're often drawn to people that make us "suffer in ways that feel familiar". It's possible to prevent this by being self aware of our emotional trauma from childhood and to work through it with like a therapist, etc

@adrianoss.bougas3720

2 жыл бұрын

However, he said we cannot change who we are attracted to sadly. But we can change how we respond to these types. I am still trying to figure, after many years and dating, if he is right or you are. Hoping you are. Also what kind of therapy can help with identifying childhood trauma?

@haraldmencke3252

2 жыл бұрын

What does it really means"suffer in ways that are familiar"?

@adrianoss.bougas3720

2 жыл бұрын

@@haraldmencke3252 it means we choose to enter relationships that make feel loved but also hurt the same way our parents treated us. We want to be loved a certain way, which is not always good.

@metaraum

2 жыл бұрын

Damn that inherent base program of the human psyche called suppression/repression/denial lol. Projection, by definition, is unconscious and therefore not preventable, only transformable. You almost sound like an optimist.

@walescahernandez2245

2 жыл бұрын

One must heal of past hurts to move forward in a new direction or you are doomed to repeat the past. Be it with a past person or new person, the cycle repeats if you are carrying the same old energy into your present.

The most disappointed people usually have high expectations. While those who live a happy life care little of the expectations of others.

@carte202

5 жыл бұрын

Robert Holloway 💯✊🏽

@sonofhibbs4425

5 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of something like those who have rosey eyed idealistic thoughts about life can also be the most cruel. If you think about communism, what occurred...even with what happened with Hitler...people wanted beauty and the ideal life. Ultimate structure with perfect players and beauty to boot. That’s what was being peddled, and people bought it. Instead there was rot, brutality and failure.

@GQElvie

5 жыл бұрын

right on Mr. Holloway

@frederickhoward5598

5 жыл бұрын

Primarily due to the fact that they already knows the inner life is what's most important, and not the projected one or expected one🤔✌🏿😎

@miamazingness

4 жыл бұрын

I think the key is balance. Don't expect perfection, but have standards (respectful or whatever other values you want to prioritize).

The concept of rejecting an otherwise good enough human being because we recognize that our suffering with that person would be a new type of suffering and therefore unfamiliar to us is astonishing to me. I never thought of that before but it makes sense.

Wow! What a talk. 22 minutes of pure wisdom.

One word; Communication. The ability to communicate is what changes the dynamic of every relationship.

@jeffforsythe9514

2 жыл бұрын

Home is where the hatred is.

@rickstoic6907

2 жыл бұрын

Really that is not remotely true for most marriages. If you have communication problems it's probably because someone is a people pleaser, which requires them to be raised to be that, which isn't universal culturally. In some countries like England it's hardly anyone. In the USA there are some pleasers. Generally communication in a broken marriage makes things worse which is why marriage counselling often leads to more marital breakdown, it gives opportunity to be plain and honest and direct about things that diminish good-will. Communication sometimes has to be restrained.

@jeffforsythe9514

2 жыл бұрын

@@rickstoic6907 It is all about karma.

@clairecadoux471

2 жыл бұрын

Bit simplistic. Communication covers a great range of behaviour and sound. Hitting someone is a form of communication.

@jeffforsythe9514

2 жыл бұрын

@@clairecadoux471 Being kind is a more advisable path.

"Until you know yourself you can't properly relate to another person" 5.54 Yessss.

@starsapphirelee5714

4 жыл бұрын

There it is!

@christianpulisic7784

2 жыл бұрын

Jacqueline D'Alessandra,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷 dear

Honestly, looking at the length of the video made me not want to qatch it but tried it anyways. I end up watching and listening carefully. It was engaging. Amazing lesson you've taught us. The BEST definition of love and married life.👏👏

some people has a gift of making you feel understood and teaching you things without making you feel small 🌷

"If you keep following your feelings, you will almost certainly make a mistake -- in life." Or several.

@essence830

4 жыл бұрын

well.... Several is the 'right number', gotta give u that. (sigh)

@TheMemoryPolice

3 жыл бұрын

Yup. Several and Counting...

@annamanansala2773

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha

You can't marry the wrong person if you never marry. *Modern problems require modern solutions*

@papasscooperiaworker3649

3 жыл бұрын

You can't marry the wrong person if you never marry because you're aromantic! ^-^

@greatestaxolotl4933

3 жыл бұрын

yes 👏 queen 👏 👏👏👏👏👏👏

@yellowmalice3036

3 жыл бұрын

Qwerty Pewp Best comment on here. 😊😊

@nataa_hopkins

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@lsjaowhwbkwhwksha5926

3 жыл бұрын

yehh

Love is not just admiration of strength, it is also toleration of weakness and recognition of benevolence 👍

Beautiful, practical, brilliant. Thanks Alain Botton

“Until you know yourself you can’t properly relate to another person” wow

@npkrn6764

3 жыл бұрын

This should be common sense. Too sad that it's not!

@fivegkills6111

3 жыл бұрын

@@npkrn6764 yepp.

@Trashpanda888

3 жыл бұрын

I think that sometimes it possible for someone to be on the path to self discovery, but then love arrives when you least expect it. You’re faced with the decision to let a possible good thing go because you’re not ready, or take the risk to love anyways.

@stephenc2481

3 жыл бұрын

Most of us swear that we know everything about ourselves.

@jeffg.6310

3 жыл бұрын

🎯🎯🎯

the title is depressing but the video is actually kind of inspiring.

@kambolechituwo7216

4 жыл бұрын

I agree!

I've been married for almost 10 years. I love every moment of it. I'm pretty sure I married the right person because I chose someone who is the direct opposite of my father. I made a conscious effort when I was dating to date someone who isn't anything like him.

Even though I have only been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months, this is the “easiest” both of us has been able to communicate with romantic partners. Not that it’s always easy, it, for me, has made me analyze myself and how I function in relationships. I’m glad I didn’t date much because that has really brought out the best in each other. Being in love has confirmed to me that I’m always learning and we can learn and accept each other