Fear of succuss is just fear of faliure with more steps

@DeaFX

7 ай бұрын

Fear of failure with extra sauce

@NaviYT

7 ай бұрын

I like this lol

@universalrandomizer405

7 ай бұрын

I don't get it

@Planterobeets

7 ай бұрын

Succuss or Faliure

@slm2021

7 ай бұрын

Brilliant! 😮

Fear of success is perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop

@jensendsflowers

7 ай бұрын

This is how I feel

@sonipitts

7 ай бұрын

Seriously, I exit so many otherwise successful workdays just cringing in a ball of molten anxiety waiting to find out what I didn't realize I did horribly wrong.

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

​@@sonipittsI hope you can find a solution to help your anxiety.

@mrs.quills7061

7 ай бұрын

@@sonipittsI did that yesterday and I don’t even know why. I’m a diligent worker and get what needs to get done, my boss is happy with me, yet I never feel enough or worry I’m going to get in trouble.

I realised that my fear of success (by my own standards) actually rooted from a fear of abandonment. Like my inner child was afraid that if I succeeded then I would abandon her. And I think it stemmed from feeling deeply abandoned in my childhood by a parent who threw themselves into work and completely ignored my needs as a child

@cassidys100

7 ай бұрын

Damn. This hit

@DerMoerpler

7 ай бұрын

Shit man. Reading this broke a barrier in my head. This makes so much sense for me. I'm glad I was already sitting down when I read this.

@YouilAushana

7 ай бұрын

Inner child = happiness compass. Chew on that for a moment

@ninnghizhidda93

7 ай бұрын

That makes two of us. The only difference is that I started working when I was 12 with said parent, and I can't recall a more abusive and dehumanizing work. To this point, I'm not only affraid of succeed, i don't even care for it, because when I acomplish something, no good feelings come from it, I feel that the job is done but the work I have put on it has no value at all. I will start begin something barely usefull again when I do another thing for someone. Wich is hard, since my body is really messed up and no one want to hire me or I got fired quickly.

PTSD takes many forms

@alli0oops

7 ай бұрын

trauma loops are not necessarily PTSD for all the people who might wanna diagnose themselves

That is true. That is why in order to succeed, one ought to accept or allow for failure. If you are okay with success and you are okay with failing, then you are indomitable.

Success and love and compliments are WAYYYYY scarier than failure or loneliness or criticism

The way he literally described me…

Sometimes I avoid "success" because the end result is more trouble than it's worth. Finished the exercise first? Here's another more difficult one Finished your task faster than expected? Alex needs help with his task and you should help him. (in reality Alex doesn't know what he's doing and now it's your responsibility to fix it and finish it on time) Me: using a basic formula in xcel to make my life easier. Manager/colleague/boss: can you help me with a little problem in excell? They want an entire database with queries and all and don't understand it's not feasible/possible. But now you have to do it You seem smart, would you like to lead this project? Absolutely not!

@wanderingrandomer

7 ай бұрын

Very true. Other people always wanna rope you in. I did my time, just leave me be!

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

Whoa, a database and queries! I started learning some of that, and I would love to practice! But I see your point. If you finish work in an office early, they may just straddle you with more work and not increase your pay accordingly. I have heard several stories about that happening. So I can grasp what you are getting at. I hope you do give yourself credit for being smart and capable in what you do.

@YACHI0000

7 ай бұрын

True. It's like once you succeed big time, you now have to take care of an unknown new reality that make have some catches ie. when people want to become rich and/or famous. It's like being aware that succeeding at something we want might not give us a complete story of what we're really getting.

@kuroinokitsune

7 ай бұрын

... Been that kid in school too. Well - solved issue by being complet failure.

@justanub4697

7 ай бұрын

Yk my go to excuse is just "No, I can't do that at all" *laughs awkwardly hoping he'll get the point* if persists, then i purposely f*ck myself over, until they decide to take over. To which i would praise them to say"You should help with mine too!" i said in full encouragement as i smile Innocently like the f*cker tried to me when he couldn't get my message. the situation is not always like that though, so yk. I'm not that spiteful. and yes this strat means taking down your pride, but i never had one in the first place.

"Don't become a man of success, try to be a man of value." Albert Einstein

Man, I'm 23 and always so afraid to fail and try to go for something bigger than me in life that it's actually pathetic, but getting better day by day, and hopefully someday I'll have the confidence to achieve that goal and success.

@mikeschultze

7 ай бұрын

Keep goin strong 👍🏻

@NarcatasCor

7 ай бұрын

Same at 26 plus feeling like I'm getting too old and feel exactly how I feared I would feel now, when I was 23 lol

@spanzotab

7 ай бұрын

@@NarcatasCor I cannot stress enough that you are never ever too old to improve your life, it's literally a lifelong journey for all of us. I can truly empathize though, I'm 22 and I've very recently started to take those baby steps. Even such small achievements put in perspective how much more is possible.

@jacopobalia31

7 ай бұрын

21, school dropout, went abroad because I hated everything in my country and not only. Family, jobs, friends, myself. I was at one moment where I felt that either I was outta that shit piece of land or under the ground. after 4 months I decided to come back, mostly for fear of adulthood, responsibilities and all that big package that comes with them. Worst decision of my life. That year felt miserable knowing how things were outside my hometown and that I also decided to renounce them. Now I'm back again here, with less suicidal thoughts, and fucking scared! Here alone in a foreign country with a foreign language, knowing that screwing up will bring me back to zero is actually a drive to not to!!! Fear can be both an enemy and a friend, you can decide how to use it, or to be used by it, that's on you, remember that no one is stopping you from doing anything but yourself, and it's not a reason for blame, but more like a reason to break those self imposed walls and start changing today. I am not a guru, I am not Dr. K, I'm still just a boy with his own bag of problems, light-years away from perfection. But I did it until now, so why wouldn't you.

@diplodog1832

7 ай бұрын

​@@jacopobalia31thanks for taking time to write this man ❤

“Imma help you, brah” - Brains. 😂

The most difficult thing is being already halfway through a commitment and realizing you don’t want to do it anymore and now you have to repeat the cycle. It’s tiring.

Your mind can be your greatest ally or most formidable opponent, how you use it depends on you and nobody else.

I fear success because I came from a highly critical family. Nothing was ever good enough. Actually trying and succeeding to never be good enough would be DEVASTATING

I was a child prodigy who was raised by two narcissistic parents. That really had an affect on me feeling deserving of success, mostly feeling guilty for being so perfect

Sometimes I wonder if the anxiety of waiting for everything to collapse like it always does pushes me into fucking everything up preemptively as a self fulfilling prophecy...

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

So, like instead of waiting for something to go wrong and feel a lot of nervous tension, someone messes things up right away so it can be over and done with.

This Guy be spilling secrets from God😊

I swear i'm afraid of success but i never screwed up like this before. Maybe i am more affraid of not having fun anymore ? Or getting responsability bc of success ? Or not deserving it? Idk

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

I would not know what problems you go through. I encourage you to try to find a solution if this is something that bothers uou

@Maevelikeschampagne

4 ай бұрын

Maybe it’s commitment?

It's called fear of hope. Because in your life, every hope always ended with despair

It’s not that I fear success. It’s that despite trying so hard, doing everything “right “, being a good person I still got screwed. Why bother. Im too tired to work that hard again, and for what? Disappointment. I’m tired.

I just had an AHA moment with your video. Thank you!!! Now I finally understand after several years.

I fear success cuz afterwards people always expect you to do it again and I'm already bored 😂

@kewoshk

7 ай бұрын

Or in my case terminally exhausted 😅

@voxoff264

7 ай бұрын

We don't live once, we die once. So doing something once is insignificant on its own. We live every day so do it at least one thousand times before getting bored.

@penderyn8794

7 ай бұрын

ADHD ? Lol

@anabltc

7 ай бұрын

@@penderyn8794 crossed my mind, yes 🤔

We should call you Dr. H. for Dr. Hammer because you nailed it again

I'd say my situation is the same, but replace me failing from my success with being a kid in Child Protection Services and being constantly moved or taken out of my "home" and never getting to have long term friends till I graduated high school. I'm almost 30 and I'm just now starting to understand how to be successful.

The other shoe drops. Every. Damn. Time. Is it self-sabotaging? How the heck do I stop?

@steggopotamus

7 ай бұрын

You have to find healthier ways to feel safe and do those mindfully. So when you sabotage your fears control you and make you do something stupid, so when you feel that tug, you need to figure out what the fear really wants to know. 1) journalling can help, you can write out the motivating fear and come up with better ways to address it. So instead of quitting your job, you can talk yourself into talking to a coworker about it. 2) distraction can help a little, at least for getting around big emotional spikes. This gives you some emotional distance to male decisions using more information than just your worst fears. 3) bridge statements. If you can't believe you can be a super successful ceo (for example), can you believe you can be a moderately passable CEO? This helps you divide the success into smaller bites so that you can deal with the emotions in smaller bits over time.

@Quiet.Katie.

7 ай бұрын

@@steggopotamus These are fantastic tips. I need to reflect a little, but reading through I felt some panic...and some hope. Thank you for such a thoughtful response 😊

@steggopotamus

7 ай бұрын

@@Quiet.Katie. i hope it helps some! It's hard to get started noticing the spikes, so just practice noticing the first signs of the fears so that you can intervene. It's hard at first but very worth it and gets easier with practice.

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

​@@steggopotamusI thank you as well. I do jounaling, my own CBT practice, and mindfulness. I have not, however, heard of bridge statements. Thanks for sharing

The notion that the brain works to help you when mine only wants to die is hilarous

We expect so much from ourselves

I'm literally terrified of being successful enough to be wealthy. My ADHD brain looks at the prospect of accountants and tax forms and investment portfolios and runs screaming back into it's tiny cave.

@Iudicatio

7 ай бұрын

Luckily for you in this day and age, that's extremely unlikely 😂 Well I feel the same. Of course I don't want to be homeless but I don't care about living like an influencer either. And that's okay. Wealth beyond what you need is wasteful anyway.

This has been the case for me when thinking about approaching women. "If I'm not rejected then she'll realize I have nothing to talk about and how boring I am." "If by a miracle I can hold a conv. she'll realize I don't know how to make out." Rejection would actually feel relieving. If I dared approach in the first place which I don't. I hate my mind.

This man is a fucking gem. Came for the insight. Stayed for the personality. 🤣

Success is cool. I love success. But success brings attention and attention ends very, very badly in my experience.

these are so fucking wild. sometimes i just sit in my office chair here thinking about what this guy just said. people overuse the word mind blown or bombshell to the point its meaningless but this guy literally drops mind blowing bombshells. a monk and a psychiatrist who relates to gamers. like, there cannot be a more perfectly designed person to give me advice. thanks, doc.

Too often success turns out to be a trap and major mistake.

I have an issue of never finishing things I start. Even if Im aware Im doing it again, I still bail.

After my ADHD diagnosis last year ive been making a lot of progress but i feel like fear of success might be holding me back. My passion is music but ive always just done it alone and been too anxious to share it with anyone. Ive been stuck practicing endlessly and neglecting to finish projects and all my ideas end up staying as short recordings on my phone. If i start succeeding as a musician im afraid what it means. The idea of performing publicly is beyond terrifying, even just playing music with people i don't know is terrifying. I'm working on my social anxiety in therapy but i feel like i'm so far off from being able to do anything like that. Also the thought of what those who know me will think and how they will see me if i ever get to that point. It sounds weird but i cringe at my future self who is less anxious and doing things i can't do now. I almost don't want to get better because of that thought lol.

When things start to get better, you start wondering where the catch is, in your mind there’s always a catch, the reason? It could be past experiences or low self-esteem or the feelings of not deserving the good things we are getting from it

When I was a child I was always got punished for failing, but not rewarded for success so i was always working hard not to achieve something but to avoid failure. When I achieve something I got to hold up that achievement too so i have more responsibility, with more responsibility comes harsher punishments for failing.

For me it was each time i tried to do better as a kid and learn more i was like shunned for it, kinda hard to get it out of my system now

I love how the brain sabotages so much instead of actually helping.

okay so what's the remedy?

@alienkishorekumar

7 ай бұрын

Just do it 😂

@kewoshk

7 ай бұрын

Therapy

@areyouraphael

7 ай бұрын

I don't speak for healthygamergg, but I think he's talking about how people get caught up in what if something goes wrong after I'm "successful". The key takeaway I feel like is there's no point in worrying about the future because no one knows what it holds for better or for worse. What's best is to live in the moment and take every experience as a an experience in which you learn something that you may not have known about yourself and to use that learning experience to better yourself.

@djhardcorehengst6356

7 ай бұрын

​​@@alienkishorekumaryea that is the anthithesis/the way out of the paradigm of failure. Its not about how many times you fail its about how fast you can get up again

My fear of success is related to "these sets of habits, behaviors,etc." is the one thing you'll be able to master your AuADHD, BPD symptoms. And that's INTIMIDATING! I'm already taking the baby steps but I still feel intimidated...

Sometimes these videos hurt so bad to watch

Well worded

What ended up happening? You asked Me: It got worse You: I always screwed it up. Yep. Didn't realize this was a fear I have but being in a rut always seems better because in the past when I try to take charge of my life it invariably ends up even worse. I feel punished for aiming up

Could this be linked to learned helplessness?

dayum, indian peterson went off on this one

Mission filled... successfully 👀

Dropping this wisdom here. I don't know why, but, whatever put you in a decrapitated state, makes you feel alright about being in that decrapitated state when you do more of it. That's the rub. Feeling alright about being in a decrapitated state should be avoided. Feeling good about getting yourself out of whatever decrapitated state is what you should feel good about.

Tbh for me that has more to do with everytime I tried to do something new either it was taken from me or I was persuaded to do something else now that I don't have that problem anymore it's hard for me to get back to how I used to be were I'd was able to be consistent in whatever I tried

I'm afraid on not feeling I deserve it, i'm afraid fhat i will get everything I want, everything I'm looking or and I can never have enough, or feel like I'm worth what I have

I feel this.

Despite this being true it doesn't fix anything. A five-year-old knows that a flat tire needs to be changed but he can't do it.

Look at the path and you will only see a path, look at the obstacles and you will only see obstacles.

Yeah, that's something I always understood about my fear of succes. I tried to question myself "But why??? Success is good tho, why fear?" and the answer was always "Because falling from a high place hurts more than getting off a sidewalk"

OR... The "other shoe dropping" happens SO many times that you develop almost a form of PTSD. The more things are going right the more anxious and panicky you get, because life has taught you over and over and over again that no matter how good it seems, the other shoe WILL drop and destroy or at least terminally derail everything. That's not your brain "helping" you panic because you *want* to panic (seriously, who the fuck WANTS to panic?), that's your brain WARNING you that at every other time you experienced success, BAD SHIT HAPPENED, so you should be on guard and ready to jet at any moment. "Matter of fact," your brain says, "just to be safe, you should just jet right now. Shut it down." Sly Stallone wrote the famous lines "It's not about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward." And while that's true for most people, who seem to only get a firm hand-smack for their "hit"; for some of us, Lady Karma seems to take a maniacal pleasure in absolutely crushing us anytime we achieve any sort of success in ANY area. And the bigger the success, the bigger the level of punishment she doles out. There are no light hand-smacks here. There's being called in to the Manager's office and given an unexpected raise, then going home and opening the door yelling "Guess what just happened?!?" only to find your spouse unresponsive because they've attempted to unalive themselves. There's being on your last $50 and finally landing a job, and having your car's engine seize up on the way home from the interview; you can't afford to fix it, there's no bus routes, and it's too far to walk or bike, so there's no way you can start the new job. There's having an epiphany one day realizing how well your marriage is going, only to discover a betrayal the next day that rips your heart out and throws it in a woodchipper and destroys any semblance of trust you ever had. There's trying something and it takes off, earning you "on the path to making a real change" money, then over the next two weeks every appliance, computer, and vehicle you own all break down, completely draining that flush of money you just earned AND putting you tens of thousands of dollars more in debt. There's finally getting the family's path dialed in and running smoothly, then catching your kid doing something that destroys the family and separates the kids 500 miles apart. There's taking a screenshot because your latest project just hit the Top Ten list in its field, only to have your parents stop by later that evening to give you the news that the doctors found cancer and think she's only got 6 months to live. So eventually those of us who don't "get hit", but instead "get fucking crushed" learn to heed that fear, creeping anxiety, and panic attacks, and we just stop trying, because the next dropping shoe probably won't be survivable.

My life would be so much better jf i was just capable of crying

Brilliant 😊❤

So how do you stop that? I am the queen of self sabotage

I'm sure I'm just cursed

No more repeating patterns

Dang is this accurate and ring a bell...

I ALWAYS SCREW IT UP.

Thanks. I was about to call crisis line. Thanks for being my teacher for free. And my son gave you to me. I love it when you do the accent

Why then I have that feeling, if my things didn't fall apart?

Ok so how do I fix it?

Fear of failure is like fear of not winning, fear of others criticisms. In online gaming, again with players that used the meta, they probably had at least a partially boring game. In my eyes they failed to have fun. A lot of the time, if you win, you probably failed at having fun. Just know that when you win, you probably failed at something else you wanted to do or try. Maybe fear of failure is fear of reality.

What if thinking about a relationship (or success), i think the other one will dump me anyways? Even if I do all right. Wanting to be lonely

Sometimes I really wonder who are these people Dr. K talks about. (I know not all the people have all these "problems" but god damn).

For me i feel like it's about not knowing what to do once i succeed If i want to date someone and it doesnt work out then i know what happens, but if it did work out then i wouldnt know what to do

This is a bad way of looking at life. Life is a big screw up, no matter who you are. You just need to get back up to it and continue living. It helps if you have someone who cares for you (a parent, a friend, a lover, a colleague, a random person you're taking the same bus with for the past month or so, etc(?))

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

You mention it helps if someone cares for you. If you want to, can you describe what I realistically should expect from a good friend or someone I should care about? I am wondering how often you think people show kindness and love to one another. I think technically I can always show kindness to another person, but being shown love is more of a less frequent thing to me.

Wayne Dyer? Joe Dispenza? Nah. This guy's my guru.

im aware my fear comes from failure im a pro at failing lol

You can’t succeed if you’ve never tried. And trying may lead to failure, so if you never try you just won’t ever fail. However, you’ll never get anywhere in life, and it’s just becomes a repetitive cycle where you live a stagnant life just “existing”. It sucks, but you’ve got to count the little successes, did you brush your teeth? No? That’s cool, what about maybe change your socks? Yeah? Sick, celebrate it. The more you reinforce positive behavior of yourself for the minor things, the easier it will be to step up to the bigger things. Putting on a fresh pair of socks may lead to brushing your teeth, which might lead to taking a shower, and that might trickle into WORLD DOMINATION AND RECLAIMING THE HOLY LAND

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

Very positive thoughts. I think I am a bit hard on myself

@cheezyllamba

7 ай бұрын

@@euthyphro8064 we’ve all been there! If you can take small successes and use them to grow, then you can do the exact same things with minor failures

@mydpRu

7 ай бұрын

@@euthyphro8064man, I almost cried after reading your reply… Have had many psychedelics- and meditation-induced insights into the way I put myself down, but this fucking mechanism is what my whole self has been about since childhood. Indeed, it is a relief to know it’s been there due to certain events that happened in my life, from which the reversibility of the mechanism becomes more and more apparent, but realising that I didn’t have to live like that - but still did - is very saddening. I am sending countless impulses to love yourself and others to you who’s a precious human being. Your shortcomings don’t negate your worth for the latter is endless by default. You don’t have to prove anything, you don’t have to compete with anyone in order to be complete. Yes, what we’ve been told is the opposite of what I’ve just said, yet a long self-inquiry session is capable of showing the baselessness of the toxic ‘worthless-until-proven-worthy’ talk promoted by societal norms.

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

@@mydpRu Thank you for your reply. I am glad to hear a good-natured comment on here. Edit: I will add that have made progress on meeting my goals, and the same time I have perfectionist tendencies. I think there is a lot of stuff I have done and a lot I am still working on.

Every times Dr.K says "..., son~" I feel overwhelmed somehow😂 wanna be his kid. And I'm even a woman

I think I'm just tired of trying, and now I'm taking over a decade being a burden on my family in order to build my "solid foundation" so I'm not constantly starting over. It sucks but it's all I can do about it.

@namedrop721

4 ай бұрын

The purpose of your family is literally to give you a solid foundation. That is their main purpose in the you direction. That you feel guilty about it not only hampers you but also may be a sign that your efforts are being drained somewhere because of resentment. You’ll have to deal with that or just let it be, but building a foundation takes time, so either you’re making progress or you’re not and you can look at why.

@roracle

4 ай бұрын

@@namedrop721 People always talk about cooperation and getting things done. But in this area I live in, people talk about the "can do" attitude, but the caveat is "can do, just don't ask me to help". I still work on a lot of projects, but I always hit a wall at some point because I'm not skilled enough in what I'm doing to finish the project. But anyone who ever said "Yeah I'll help!" has always ended up saying "oh I'm just good with ideas" and the concept of DOING never enters their brain. I'm tired of working for crap wages, never moving up in anything I do, and no one even cares to join in with doing something because it requires them learning something new. Yeah, everyone has an idea. That's what we say "ideas are a dime a dozen" because they're not even worth a whole penny. People just don't want to put in the work, and I'm humble enough to know I can't do it on my own, and as a result I'd rather just rot in nothingness. What ever happened to teamwork?

Eventually they gave up.

I think I might just be lazy

I am afraid of success because it is impossible for someone with a mental illness. The only key to success for us to heavily drugging ourselves with antipsychotics, and talking to a therapist. The field of Psychology itself in the 1920s was full of said Psychologist who believed that certain people weren't able to be successful because of their genetics. The field of Psychology is the reason I am afraid of success. Because as a weak minded mentally deranged person. Society only have these beliefs because of the History of Psychology. Admit Psychologies past mistakes. Tell them where they truly get thier beliefs. Tell them about the Eugenics movement.

So... what's the solution?

Jeeze, brain, with friends like you, who needs enemies?

In my case disaster struck or people hurt me.

@euthyphro8064

7 ай бұрын

It sounds like you have had some unpleasant experiences. Have these experiences taught you anything?

@interdimensionalsailboat

7 ай бұрын

@@euthyphro8064 well it happened again. I started to feel ok. Stream some league. I accepted a friend request in league from a viewer. That was enough to hack my whole computer and now i need to deal with the aftermath. I feel like shit. My experiences taught me that nothing is safe, nobody cares and everyone is trying to take advantage of you in one way or another no matter how innocent things may seem.

Ah yes, chasing the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the elusive rainbow 🌈. That's not a recipe for self-sabotage in the least. Good luck with that.

I mean nice way to put a bunch of two way street arguments on one side of the whole thing and act like they're entirely to blame. Sounds like some sort of bs that comes from someone who writes self help books . It's not that I'm scared of succeeding, it's that I'm scared of shitty employers who can't take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Yup. Absolutely.. but, how is this helpful?

Like me fr

People fearing success now?😮

What are you looking at?

Whoever this "Brain" is, i don't like them, they seem to be an instigator

or your parents drill it in your head that you will lol

bottom line just give up

Ok this doesnt help though

Me

i'm in this video and i don't like it

family likes u as the loser.

bruh my jaw just dropped after watching this, the timing and accuracy just 🫨