Why We Need Close Friends
Friends, a recent poll from the Survey Center on American Life revealed that people are rapidly losing their close friends, especially men. The number of American men who view themselves as having "no close friends" quintupled over the last 30 years, increasing from 3 percent in 1990 to 15 percent in 2021.
Why is this happening, and how can we reverse it? How can we develop closer friendships? Brandon Vogt and I discuss those questions today.
A listener asks, why does God love us?
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Пікірлер: 233
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” - African proverb
@miguelpreza2364
2 жыл бұрын
Great
@paulfaigl8329
2 жыл бұрын
Wonderful proverb.🙏❤️🙏
@ntmn8444
2 жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@margaretferrara1008
2 жыл бұрын
Really good proverb.
Aristotle and Augustine both say true friendship is sharing in the truth together. The challenge now, especially for young Christians, is finding good friends who share in the truth with them.
@acr4715
2 жыл бұрын
💯
@sr.laetitiadookie910
2 жыл бұрын
That is so true
@luluq01
2 жыл бұрын
Not just the young- for all ages it is a challenge.
@terrymurphy6918
2 жыл бұрын
@@sr.laetitiadookie910 +great 1¹)4
@sevensorrows2595
2 жыл бұрын
@@ChristIsLord7 I live in a huge city, London, England, Charlie and I have the same problem. You're not alone.🙏🎚️
My best friend and I went to Catholic School together we stood up for each other at our weddings and were godparents to our first born. Our friendship goes back over 70 years. Thru the years we’ve moved on with making new friends and our interests vary but we have a special bond that would never separate us as forever friends. We have a deep faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and share our beliefs. We are truly blessed
@shanthageorge7413
2 жыл бұрын
You are! Blessed! Thank God!
I grew up with 2 best friends. Then we all had to go separate ways, for school or military. Then I met my best friend, my wife. Thanks be to God.
The one and only reason why I continue to use youtube is bc of Bishop and his believable messages
I like the quote from Abraham Lincoln "I don't like that man. I must get to know him better."
@ermingornik6203
2 жыл бұрын
Brilliant
@pauljubb7305
2 жыл бұрын
Great advise, it got our attention.
I got one best bud, he’s like my brother and we discuss Catholicism and Jesus on the daily.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
@savinggift158
2 жыл бұрын
This verse refers to marriage Friendship is good But marriage is better
So difficult to make close friends that share the same values and are interested in the same things or is it just me.
@CallMeOpia
Жыл бұрын
i’ve found that not terribly important to be close friends with somebody. once you realize that most humans have more in common than different it becomes easier. we were all saved by jesus christ is what matters. we shouldnt be too quick to nitpick differences in other people. that encourages a judgmental culture.
I’ve lived by the motto , to have a friend you must be a friend, and God has blessed me with some wonderful friends.
@learnbibleversethroughpict6027
2 жыл бұрын
🤗🙏🏼I too have by God's grace 😍🤗 Catherine Hewson 🤝😊🌸 Prayers by Catherine 💕🤗
Father Mark Goring skateboards on his channel, but us younger Catholics still love him because he skates for himself and for his love of skating. He lives his youth, he doesn't pander to it. Viva Cristo Rey!
@IVIazia
2 жыл бұрын
Fr. Mark has thought me to do little things with great love and to live life as a prayer. He is a true example of God’s love. ¡Viva Cristo Rey!
I could not agree more, Bishop Barron. Especially when teaching young people who today often receive so little spiritual or religious formation,, I totally disagree with the way that so many people say, “Oh, we have to bring it down to their level.” Their minds need to be challenged and they enjoy it. Adults too, who often were not catechized very well, I think, need this kind of intellectual challenge. I know I love watching your videos and if there’s a word I don’t know, well, great! Whatever happened to learning and the adventure of finding out new things? it’s good for our brain to be challenged. I would like to thank you, Bishop Barron, for leading us to higher planes of understanding of our faith. And congratulations on 1000 videos! Well done.
You have great surprises in Heaven for the millions of souls you touch with the Word of God and more. All faith people listen to you.GOD IS WITH YOU.
Close friends are a blessing from God! There are few things more fructifying than a combined spiritual entity.
My 8 yr old daughter asked if we can listen to Bishop Barron again. I can't imagine she understands much but she claims she gets enough to enjoy listening. 😄
@nightyew2160
Жыл бұрын
Wow, you may have a future Doctor of the Church in the making. Good for her!
I’ve been blessed with many close friends throughout my life, however those that I find most genuine are those that share my Catholic faith. My best friend for the past twenty years is a lawyer, who I constantly poke fun with by asking him to inform new people we meet that he’s a chicken farmer. I’ve taught him how to fish and he’s taught me the intricacies of truck stop cuisine.
@learnbibleversethroughpict6027
2 жыл бұрын
😊😊👍🏼
This came at the perfect time 🕊
Maybe I'll ask my Catholic friend/neighbor if she would like to watch "The Creed" with me. She's a busy lady, but I'm feeling like she might enjoy the invitation to immerse in something spiritually uplifting. It would be a great way to grow that friendship. I've already watched the series, and it's fantastic. The locations are so beautiful. And with Bishop Barron at the helm you know it's good!
@annabaker4951
Жыл бұрын
Good idea. With God everything is possible! Hope your friend responds with a positive heart.
This guy is a pure genius 🤌🏾
I am from the Philippines and during my elementary grades at Maryknoll College the nuns used the Baltimore Catechism to teach us our Catholic faith. That was in the late 50s. Kudos to you Nishop Baron. I always listen to your talks. It has helped me deepen my faith. Thank you and God bless you all the more.
22:48 personally trying to find that balance. It's been months since the pandemic loosen its grip of creating isolation. Becoming social again means to let go of social media more to create better relationships(May sound like a no brainer but why am I struggling twith this). Thank you for this KZread!
I remember hearing Jordan Peterson describe that friendship is a form of exchange. That is something that has stuck with me. I think if you’re willing to sacrifice yourself to others you will be on a path to making worthwhile friends. Sacrificing yourself could mean being generous with your time, energy, and your money. The more you give the more you get back - The greatest example of that truth is in the life of Christ. I think less and less people today are willing to sacrifice themselves to others. As religious values get buried and as social media rises as the prominent form of interaction, I think our culture becomes equivalently more isolated and bitter.
@hunivan7672
Жыл бұрын
I have the exact opposite experience. The more I give the more they despise me.
@bvokey8842
Жыл бұрын
@@hunivan7672 Consider you may be casting pearls before swine. Perhaps what you identify as giving, another perceives as taking. Jesus the Christ gave his blood. “They”, or those who opposed him, interpreted that as an attempt to take something from them, such as their religious beliefs and expectations around those beliefs. In other words a good that is done by one person may be perceived as a threat to another person.
I am watching this on a social media channel on an IPhone. But after I watch this I will go on a hike with a good friend. Thank you for this channel and congrats on 1000 videos.
Many blessings to all of you for showing us that we can learn and be the Christians we are called to be. Our Lord has told us all don’t be afraid. Thank you for your friendship across the internet social media. I have learned so much. God bless.
Faithful friends are beyond price; no amount can balance their worth. - BIBLE (Sirach 6:15) NRSV
On tuning in to you on you tube Bishop Baron I mentally revisited a close friend from way back in the seventies when I was in my early twenties, my friend was twenty years older and had felt a calling to the priesthood in his final years at school. was deterred by a parish priest (Windsor MSW Australia) who told him that a requirement of the vow of chastity was that he have no close friends. And when I suggested this was not an official teaching of the church and he agreed but maintained that the sway the doctrine held with many priests should not be underestimated. Indeed close friendship and love itself can be debased and lost if the law is followed too closely. And social media is debased if bullying goes unchecked within the general lawlessness of the space
Rule 3 / Make friends with people who want the best for you. - Jordan Peterson.
@josephgiambona1668
2 жыл бұрын
Amen
Yes, condescending to children is pushing them away, not pulling them in. Those assumptions are definitely wrong headed.
Finding and keeping friends has always been a struggle for me. Groups need scapegoats in order to solidify group cohesion. I have often been that scapegoat. I have read and followed all the advice about making and keeping friends. After losing a couple of friends over covid and making a few new ones I have decided that I am better off by myself. I no longer worry about it. God has made me a maverick. I believe my resistance to groupthink is a special and important role even though it is lonely at times.
@robertlaporte2998
2 жыл бұрын
Thank God for that freedom of mind,body and spirit.
@lukak882
2 жыл бұрын
Im tired of society, I just dont have tools for living in this kind of world, Ive never been a competitive person so Im not interesting to people
@learnbibleversethroughpict6027
2 жыл бұрын
@@lukak882 🤗🙏🏼May God bless you with good friends 👭👫👭👭👫👭👫 as Scripture says in Sirach 6:16 A loyal friend is like a medicine that keeps you in good health.
@saraanic9436
2 жыл бұрын
In my opinion, you don't make friends with groups - you make friends with individuals. My mom always taught me, you have to have one friend, one true friend. More is great, but you have to have at least one. In my quest to have at least one true friend, I got blessed with more that one.
I really wish I had friends. I am really lonely
Friends are essential in our lives for personal growth, sharing concerns and well being... and as you say Bishop... 'they are like a second self... seeking truth... and bonding' but I must also add that our smart cell technology has certainly robbed many of their friendships. I do not have a cell, have a few close friends and happy to be a Friend Who Likes Bishop Barron!
Truly Friendships is unconditional regarles of the social, economic, religious or political position of a person. 🙏🙏🙏
All online Evangelists have their own individual charisms, and vehicles to reach their audience. I love you, Bishop Barron, AND I love Fr Mark Goring... who skateboards, and uses a "green screen" with various backgrounds. The Catholic church is a world of "both, and" and the variety is a rich treasure. God bless your ministry!✝️❤🏡
Bishop Barron, an archbishop in India mentioned few lines from this video in sunday homily. Your videos reach far and wide. Thank you so much, for all the intellectual content and for keeping St. Thomas alive in this century!
@learnbibleversethroughpict6027
2 жыл бұрын
👍🏼😊 From India 🇮🇳
Profound and helpful discussion that has inspired me to read Aristotle this week - and to pray for deepening friendships anong men in our church this week. Thank you, gentlemen.
I wish the entire world were watching this
Great examples of friendship are the saints: John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, Francis of Assisi and Dominic de Guzman, Thomas Aquinas and Bonaventure, John Paul II and Mother Teresa. Friendship leads us to holiness!
@n00bly_43
2 жыл бұрын
And let us not forget David and Jonathan
@sebastianofmilan
2 жыл бұрын
Good points!
"Friendship is two people looking in the same direction" - Monsignor Luigi Giussani
I think you're spot on in how you do your videos and talks. I am drawn to the intelligence, deep thought and spirituality behind them. I love that you speak as you would normally speak -- sometimes in plain-speak phrases and sentences and other times in a higher or high language or speech, using words and phrases I'm not familiar with and don't know the meaning of. To get the most out of what you're saying I need to go and look up what you're talking about. And sometimes that leads me down a whole 'nother path, yet related to what you were speaking on and makes what you were speaking on even more clear. Thank you, Bishop.
I think it should have been mentioned friendship of brotherhood. Unconditional friendship.
I love listening to Word on Fire because it is intelligent and Bishop Barron’s connections are always fresh and deep. Thanks!
Can confirm, I have no close friends. Life is miserable
@carolinetheberge4671
2 жыл бұрын
Me as well….but I’m now retirement age and just want good friends,a few would be good as my husband and I don’t want to take too much. But pray you and (we) will be blessed with awesome friends.
Thank you Bishop Barron and Brandon, i just love to watch word on fire show. It is so very interesting. Thank you and GOD bless you. ➕❤
So important. Thanks for this!
Looking forward to this.
Thank you Bishop and Brandon
Thank you Bishop 🙏🏽 always on point
Thank you. Very helpful.
Such a powerful, important video. Thank you, bishop Barron.
❤️ high level, intellectual thought…🙏🏻 Bless you both!
Thank you, Bishop Barron and Brandon. This talk fits perfectly with the CS Lewis’s The Four Loves book which our family is currently reading!
Thank you Bishop Barron: Your explanations always help us understand the true meanings of our lives.
I think men need to be "doing a task" with other men to build friendship. I often go cycling with my male friends. It keeps the easily distracted part of your mind focused on the road and after a while your quiet mind can start to express itself. I'm not sure whether this works for women as well.
@ChaZarudo
2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. Think about the stereotypical "sewing circles".
Thanks much for this video.
God bless you Bishop..keep fighting the good fight .
Congratulations! 1000
I have a lot of folks that I am “friendly” with but I have no close friends. I never have. Found out early in life that people are only interested in what they could get from me. Gave up on friendship in my teens.
@G-MIP
2 жыл бұрын
I can relate to your sentiments. However, I’ve had few close friends, but never a truly loyal friend (this side of heaven) and most friendships are a one way street. Never a friend that truly thought of... and sacrificed something for me. There’s an old saying that goes something like, “If a man has one good friend in his lifetime, he’s a lucky man.”
Thankyou Bishop Barron
I LOVE to share who's Godself who's LOVE to be LOVED not fall apart as something strange
I think God has cured my anxiety. Thank you for helping heal my soul.
This should be pleasant and affirming. Got a few treasured ones which I consider true blessings from God!
Thanks for your sharing on this topic A lot time Having distance with close friends after marriage having my own family and my time become more for the spouse and kid For friends who are still single our distance is even bigger
One of my favorite episodes. Thank you Bishop Barron 🙏
Loved it
Friendship is a gift
I thank you so much Bishop Barron and your team for all you've done during covid. It has meant the world to me. God bless.
I would like to offer another possibility for the survey numbers. As BB mentioned true friendships are born over time from shared experiences. Growing up in same town all your life, going to school from K-12 with your best buddies. Many of those friendship transcend time and distance which is why we could pick up on conversations as if we had never parted. We called, wrote letters, planned vacations with the intent to visit each other. We watched our kids grow up together and remembered them at graduations and weddings. We were there in good times and bad. All of this took effort-a labor of love and trust. As we have aged and are dying off, we don’t really have the same need/opportunity to make lasting and endearing friendships. We move from life-long neighborhoods to those where people stay in their homes and isolate. I have some very close friends but my best friends are not where I presently live. The are “utilitarian” or “entertainment” friends and of course my church/parish friends. The thing we do share is that we’re in our 70’s,80’s and our children often live far away. Before my husband passed away he probably would have said he had no close friends left because for him it meant being nearby to visit, reminisce and relive the good times. What we would have agreed on is that a part of us dies with each cherished friend who dies. Our world gets smaller and we look forward to the time when we can see them again. Thank you to all involved for this presentation. I follow both Brandon and Bishop Barron with great regularity. I call you friends because you bring a greater understanding/awareness and love of Christ into my life. I in turn share it with the other ladies who join me to watch your videos, KZread presentations and read/discuss your books in my home. It’s my offering/effort to evangelize the seniors I interact with; better late than never!!!. Thank you both and thanks to WOF!!
Thank you ❤️🙏🙏❤️
Sirach 6: 16 A loyal friend is like a medicine that keeps you in good health. 🤗😊
Would have been nice if the discussion covered how men might create a small circle of friends
@marcinjaskolski2824
2 жыл бұрын
Well Bishop Barron is admittedly more of a philosopher who creates frameworks to work in, rather than a practical self-help guide. I myself would try to undertake a shared effort amongst a group of good men (if not Christian then at least ethically good guys). A softball league team, a dad garage band, a men's Bible study... I myself am still trying to figure out the right format as well, but you get the idea. Basically you need some sort of extrinsic reason to meet up with these guys and do the shared thing together, otherwise it'll dry out. For example, band rehearsals and playing gigs during the busy summer concert season. Or, playing sports together during winter basketball season, or during the summer baseball season. It can be a seasonally recurring activity as well.
@sirthomas4637
Жыл бұрын
Agree.. Catholic church does offer knight's of Columbus as a mens group. But to me its just that a ministry. No close friendships come from it for me. The only close friends I thought I had just wanted things from me...
I love this
I agree with the data on friends. I've lost many "friends" whom I've known for years--20+ over politics and religion in the last two years. I want to have open and honest exchange of ideas with my friends but find that many of the conversations/emails end up badly. Should I as a Christian continue to reach out to these people or should I recognize that most of these exchanges are toxic and move on? I've joined a new parish which seems to be a "family of believes". I guess I'm tired of losing sleep over a bad day of "bitter" comments from friends.
Yo veía al Padre en EWTN en la televisión, y ahora en la pandemia lo descubrí, me gustan mucho sus reflexiones, tengo mucha tarea. Saludos de la Ciudad de Mexico
This was some interesting stuff.
It was the movie reviews that started me watching the channel.
Claro, siempre me gustan sus videos
I'm here for you guys
My experience is I call soul-friendship, communicative with each other even after long silence
We love it thanks, God..!
Wonderful quote from Aristotle at 15:00
Congratulations on reaching 1000 videos! Watching the older videos, I kind of miss the movie reviews/commentary, but do enjoy your Sunday homilies. Peace be with you!
When one thinksof it. It's awesome!
I think the reason many men have few friends is that their wives like it that way. With women filing for something like 70% of divorces, men feel very compelled to stay close to home in fear that the wife may be angry with them. Women are afraid men might be comparing notes on the status of their marriage with other men, a thing, of course, women do all the time, but would prefer that hubby not do. It was better in the old days. The women had their coffee clatches and men their bowling leagues and the Knights of Columbus. The enforced scrutiny of "togetherness" in modern marriage causes more problems than it solves.
THANKYOU 🙏💝JMJ 💝🙏
Our society is atomized. We must learn to build true community.
It's a misconceptions, young today are hungry for truths. I wish we had such qualities when we were even still younger.
What you brought up about not being able to be friends with someone because of their political views is probably more because of a lack of respect for each other. Our society has become so polarized that people become so irritated with others that they can’t see the person, rather they only see the differences.
I have found such friends online but as in any friendship, it takes time, risk, and a willingness to put the other before oneself and a seeking of virtue as a prerequisite. I also seek only these friendships. I think our online space looks as it does for the same reasons as our physical society. That said, one feature unique to online friendship I must conceide is that at some point it transcends the media and demands physical presence. I think it can be born online but to mature, it must eventually be willing to break put of its pot. In short, seek all your friendships as God seeks His with you.
Amen your Holiness!!! ✝️💜🙏🏽💜💪🏽
@sebastianofmilan
2 жыл бұрын
Love your profile pic.
@billochalek4530
2 жыл бұрын
That is a picture of our son when not quite 3yrs old at our local Memorial Day Parade. He just turned 27yrs old in August. It remains one of our all-time favorite photos of our son!!! Americana!!! God bless & protect our Republic!!! ✝️💜💪🏽⚖️🇺🇸❤️💪🏽
God is great, and he gave us word on fire, etc al. Bishop need all this information
It seems to be a contradiction, that enduring friendships are based on shared value and virtue yet we shouldn’t indulge in political tribalism. Politics aren’t a trifle thing, and my politics are deeply rooted in my sense of right and wrong. I cannot be friends with people who support abortion, love tyranny, and hate God. I have no desire to reach out to people like that.
@robertlaporte2998
2 жыл бұрын
Befriend them with your truth and stand firm.
@maryradoy6256
2 жыл бұрын
James I grew up believing in the "right for women to choose" but not in abortion for me in my own personal life (became a mother at 19) and it took friendships with strong Christian women for my views on abortion to change. The world sends all kinds of backward ideas to young people, ESPECIALLY in the world today.. So don't give up on folks with different views than you. You could really do the Lord's work in helping others to see the light man!
@JamesAmbrose48
2 жыл бұрын
@@maryradoy6256 it’s not impossible but it is difficult. Those who view abortion as permissible also hold a constellation of other views I find equally repugnant. I know from experience that a friendship pocked with political and philosophical contretemps won’t last long. I keep in mind that Jesus said he came not to bring peace, but a sword for division. I’m fine with this and don’t see polarization as a problem to be solved. I have plenty of friends who share my faith and values. I have developed many enduring friendships of many decades in the Church.
@maryradoy6256
2 жыл бұрын
I fully understand what you're saying my hope is just that if you ever see the opportunity to make that positive impact in a person's life (especially a young person) that you'd take it. You never know you could lead somebody very important to the world to JESUS!
No joke! They' re excellent!
One things for sure-- I can imagine Barron to not be much of a fan of introverted thinking
Its very difficult to finde friends whom you can account on also in trouble to help out and not only accept tu use you earning usefullnes .God must be also involved in this friendships.
Good evening 🌷, pray for me father so I can devote my self to Mary pure heart & help my family and society. My name is suhail & I live in Dubai 💗💗💗
Word.
I think it goes deeper than simply saying if you're for Trump we can't be friends. I think it's that if you're for Trump we don't share the same values and that is why we can't be friends. But it may be better to leave politics out of it completely and find other things we do share.
@nightyew2160
Жыл бұрын
As someone who has serious reservations with any of the current political ideologies and where the people at my parish are very political, I am not sure how to feel close to them. What is the distinction between being part of a tribe vs. sharing values with someone? Because they seem so tribal to me and I am not, I feel there must be some difference in values between us that causes the political difference.
Bishop Barron on the skateboard was an attempt to revive the 'Jazz Mass' lol
NO HAVING MUCH CLOSE FRIENDS MYSELF ,NO DOUBT MUCH AS WORTHY FRIENDS ADD TO THE HAPPINESS AND VALUE OF LIFE AND IF SOMEONE IS HIS OWN BEST FRIEND OR WORTH ANAMY.
Bishop Barron, this is possibly the first podcast that made me cry. I believe there is a powerful truth here. Very challenging and inspiring at the same time. Thank you!