I have a hard time making decisions, because I always want to make the best decision, and I don't want it to be a mistake, which leads to overthinking and analyse paralyse.

What actually struck me was your having focused on the OUTCOME of the action the decision is about, rather than on the decision process itself. I already knew to be a hero child, and started to be aware that there's a link with an over-responsibility trend , but never reflected on the need to control what I can't control indeed! Thanks so much !!!🙏🙏🙏

THANK YOU!!!!!! This is so me - I am overly responsible and overanalyze to ensure that I am making the right decision.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 ай бұрын

You are welcome! I hope this is helpful!

Great insight! This is definitely the source of my anxiety, when I still have it. Thankful to understand it better.

This share is so spot on. I often make decisions that I otherwise would not like to because of how it’s going to impact other people and at times I definitely put their needs in front of mine just because indirectly, the outcome may be better for them… which in turn can make it better for me….or so it seems, but then I’m putting myself aside to appease others and that’s not right either so indecision is often something I deal with.

@BarbaraHeffernan

2 ай бұрын

Well said. I think this is one element of why we can be indecisive that isn't talked about alot!

I agree. It's hard to make a decision, but not because I hope or wish that somebody else would make it for me. Quite to the contrary, I don't like anybody making decisions for me. What causes my indecision is my need to make the optimal decision, and oftentimes I don't have all the sufficient data to arrive at optimal decision. So I end up living with a low-grade all-pervasive anxiety...

@mjbrooks592

2 ай бұрын

Yes!!!

I am an only child and both parents like to make me responsible for them, thereby raising me to b co-dependent from my understanding. Now grown, I have my own grown children with their children, I have been learning through the past 2 years of deep self diving to learn to accept the situation , own my part honestly and learn lessons and make a conscious effort to change in order to not repeat. Learning it is NOT my responsibility to manage other grown adults and their choices. And their choices are their responsibility and they have to deal with the consequences. Along with that and now having learned how to recognize when I need good boundaries has all been SO FREEING!❤ I am careful to listen, validate and not give advice and when actually asked for it-I then ask what specifically they want my opinion on and if I do give my opinion, I am quick to follow with “but you need to do what is best for you and not necessarily what I would do” and even then I am careful. Bc I do not want to be their blame. Example: my mom hated her job when I was a teenager and she continually complained (all the time) to which I wd get irritated and one day said “quit if you hate it so much” which she did and some 45 years later she still tells everyone I made her quit a good job. She can say what she wants, but now I know and in my mind -what she says is more about her than me and that gives me strength. I also learned when the person continues to complain without making any effort to change the situation, I simply ask “what are you going to do about it?” and I leave it at that. Your videos have been part of my growth along with several other great licensed Therapist and psychologist online. So thank you for your tireless work to help us (and by us I mean humanity) bc we need it now more than ever. ❤ keep up the good work.

Finally a clear Quick Look at the hero child, codependent, trying to control the outcome of everything.

Hi I struggle with hoarding information,screenshots,notes and it’s hard. I think I have ocpd and ocd at the same time Idk for sure and more. Do you have any tips for how to get rid of knowledge I think I need but it’s so excessive?