We expect people to be better than they actually are.

Wow. I am an INFJ born into a narcissist family. All my life I felt like I couldn't succeed at anything if I didn't create healing for us all.... an intact, loving ,connected family. That had to come first. It led to me subverting all my personal goals and potential in life and "sending" all my energy to a failed system. I am 66 and now estranged from all of them. This video explained so much to me about my love and my anger. I'm crying as I write this. Thank you.

@Lusufu

Жыл бұрын

❤

@starseeds8121

Жыл бұрын

I understand.

@Coneman3

11 ай бұрын

So sorry to hear that. INFJ can manifest as a curse.

I'm still learning not to have expectations of others. When I succeed I'm more at peace.

Constantly remind yourself everyone is different. Not everyone or everything needs to be what you think it should or could be. Life becomes much easier and interesting.

@Z1nny

10 ай бұрын

💯

Other types’ goals don’t necessarily include self actualisation… there’s the rub. As an INFJ it’s hard for me to imagine living a life that doesn’t include this…

@Coneman3

11 ай бұрын

To me many seem to just bumble along and accept whatever random shit happens to them and see it as fate.

@DeeDeex007o

8 ай бұрын

RIGHT

@Misspippi777

Ай бұрын

Same

Assuming that reincarnation is true, most all of us have lived in many bodies, in many life situations (in my belief paradigm). We carry within our souls (and our DNA) the aggregate of all those lives. We've been the giver AND receiver of much harm over ions. In this go-round, we are here to awaken spiritually, aid humanity, but only for those who are ready. Even though being empaths is clearly a powerful force to wield, it's a special gift that we have chosen before we arrived at this crucial time of humanity and Earth! Stay strong everyone ❤

This is why I’m simultaneously so good at developing talent at work and over sensitive in intimate relationships.

Wow, you are a wise woman! As an INFJ, this explanation goes a long way toward figuring out a weird dynamic that exists between my husband and me. I could never quite put my finger on it before. We are moving at different speeds, toward different goals, but that's all right. My husband's direction is not for me to worry about. Opposites attract I suppose. We are both where we are supposed to be now.

@MH-wy4fr

Жыл бұрын

I can so relate to this!

My number one bug bear with others is lack of reciprocity and interest, but, in light of the above video, that fits, because to me others are stymying the potential of the relationship or interaction, and I find that so incredibly frustrating. It's as though they refuse to let life be amazing. But they get their kicks in different ways...

We expect them to flourish in areas where they envy us, stop expressing negative energy toward us, and sabotage friendships.

I'm 72 and am just really beginning to accept that it seems 98% of the human race don't care about self-actualization and growth of consciousness in love. My whole life has been about personal transformation. I had parents who had narcissistic traits and my initial yearning for people to face their pain and learn and grow was born out of a child's need to finally be seen and loved. I can see now that the desire to "save" people was really a way of trying to take care of myself. These last years of my life have been amazing as I learn to allow people to be who they are. A big lesson for me on what love really is. Thanks for your insights!

I had this exact realisation last week after a row with my gf over me being too hard on her . After l realised it was not my place to be pushing her l stopped giving her my thoughts and opinions on most things and now keep my activities and goals private from them( typical INFJ behaviour l know) and I feel much happier and more energetic. It might sound like sulking to some but an INFJ will know what I am talking about.

We’re disappointed in other people because we see their potential in being so much more for themselves and for others. Edit- I wrote this before I listened to the vid. Thanks for your validation.

This is so accurate, I did this with someone and I was attached to their growth,

Oh my goodness. I can see this with my child! Eek. Unintentional. And of course I’m attached though. I see it with making sure she can tie her shoes or save herself in a pool or doing any sort of math. She is super stubborn and I think “I will win this.” Which is me being stubborn. And then I think, “It’ll come,” and I loosen the reins. But then it doesn’t and it’s truly for her own good. And then I feel like I’ve been lazy or neglectful, which I’m not, and then I think I’m not forceful enough, but I’m not forceful and don’t want to be. It’s like a teeter-totter of emotions. My daughter is a Taurus and oh, does she fit that! I generally don’t put too much into the outcome of others, but I do with my daughter, however, I do not want it to be to her detriment. 😛

I've had to realize this, so true, so difficult. But it is something we have to learn to accept of others. On the other hand, if someone were to see into ourselves, we would be all eyes and ears

Yes I get cross with them and I shouldn't. Thank you for this video!

Wow! Life changing food for thought. Thank you!

I _did_ find this helpful. Thanks Lauren.

Wow, this hit hard. Words of wisdom 💯☝️

This was very informative and relatable, thank you!

🎯 Thank you for your videos, they help me tremendously! For the first time in my 50+ year old life, I do not feel alone. We are many, and I love it! I am deeply thankful💖💫

Just what I needed to hear once again .

What an amazing message and video.. Thank you Lauren

This is spot on! Thank you for expressing this

Another great video, Lauren. Spot on. Thank you.

Scrolling KZread and a familiar face pops up! So happy to see you have a channel!

Thank you so much for this message. I've been experiencing this for a while and unsure how to handle it. Great advice as always.

So helpful! Thank you.

It's strange how well you know me 😂

Thank you Lauren. This is food for thought. I don't know if this is the only reason I am disappointed in others but it certainly makes sense as one of the reasons!😄

Never heard the term “self actualization” before, just looked it up, and now I have a word to give to what happened to me back in late 2021. Thanks! 💪🏾 As for the video, as usual, it was great!

Thanks for explaining this well. As an infj I can see how I fit into the extremely progress oriented category. The commitment to growth and progress drives everything! And why anyone else wouldn't want to give 150% is completely beyond me. This creates much frustration.

I think this is the precursor or motivation behind isolating and detaching. I see potential and when I feel it's not moving forward to that potential, I just put back the energy to myself rather than wasting that energy.

Brilliant

Oh my gosh 🤦🏻‍♀️

Subscribe to Lauren’s newsletter and get a free book! laurensapala.com/newsletter/

The constant cheerleader 📣🥵🥵🥵🥵- just step forward and move ahead. Bad judgement from the INFJ…

Hi Lauren! Can you tell some tools for infj writers aside from music??

But i exist to bring everyone up and to help them realise their potential, otherwise what do i do with myself? So hard not to get attached to people's potential when almost everything i do including self improvement is to become the best partner or dad i can be. But im neither of those things yet