We stan our Dark Academia queen.

"Stop and see as you pass by, As you are now, So, once was I. As I am now, So, you shall be. Prepare for death, And follow me." I saw this on a headstone dated from the 1800s in a cemetary in CT. That was 48 years ago, and I'm 63 now. It resonates with me to this day.

@robo5013

Жыл бұрын

It's a paraphrase of a epitaph found on an ancient Roman grave. The Romans buried their dead outside of the city and travelers passed by the necropoli on the roads into the city. This particular person had his grave marker built as a bench by the road and it read; As you are now I once was, as I am now you one day will be, so sit and rest and have a drink with me. There was a funnel into the ground next to the grave, as there were for most, to pour libations to the dead.

As a mortician, I can relate with you on many levels: I have blond hair, I don’t wear black often, and I don’t “look” like a ‘death enthusiast.’ It’s more of a respect and deep fascination with death, and all that entails. Very relatable, in fact, this made me feel better about how others may perceive me. Thank you for making this!

@carna-9501

Жыл бұрын

I grew up in a family of morticians, and I'm getting my prereqs out of the way so I can begin the mortuary science program at the college near me(one of only two in Florida that actually offers the degree and certification). I can agree that it's more of a respect and fascination with death and processes, when I get to thanatology as a subject I may not be able to contain my excitement. Always wonderful to find a mortician, especially one who is a woman, as I only know of two, one of whom is my mother

@SiddharthaGuatama

11 ай бұрын

I was a Coroner for a combined 21 years.

Great video! As a person with horrible health and depression and PTSD, I think I would be dead many times over if I didnt have this appriciantion of darkness and death. Sometimes you fight darkness with more darkness. Its why I love Tori Amos so much, becuase she does just that. Also Florence and the Machine.

Ah, finally someone who understands my love of both the macabre and cuteness ❤️

When I was young, I remember my Mum telling Dad that my love of all things dark and macabre was my way of dealing with the risks associated with his career. He was a 23 year army man who spent a lot of time away.

I was also a weird, morbid kid. I loved Edgar Allan Poe. I had an Egyptian mummy playset of a body with removable organs, canopic jars, bandages, and a sarcophagus. In fifth grade I did a school project on witch trials and for my presentation I hung a Barbie doll on a miniature gallows. Now I've graduated university with a degree in archaeology! Being a weird creepy kid is the best training for getting to do cool things as an adult 🖤

I was interested in the Devil’s Atlas, and once you said “If you like Dante’s Divine Comedy, you’ll like it.” I’m all in now. I adore your channel and your voice is perfect for evening meditation.

I was a goth in highschool and college. I also had a fascination with the black death and pandemics. I also have a substantially large library on religion, myth, the occult, etc. But most people thought I was just too happy to be into all that but that's probably how I deal with my own depression and anxiety. I kind of know where you're coming from on all of these subjects. I will check out those books.

I have taken you recommendation of Death: A Graveside Companion. Just ordered it. (By the way Cinzia for more about seances check out books on stage magic. Since essentially that is where the modern practice derives from, through the strange attention getting scams of the Fox sisters in upstate New York. Houdini was both hopeful that seances were real and was also a seance buster. Check out the books - Talking to the Dead: Kate and Maggie Fox and the Rise of Spiritualism + Dark Seance: The Fabulous Davenport Brothers.)

Spoken like a Scorpio.. As one myself I'm very intrigued by death and not scared by it at all. I go on vacation visit cemeteries and even camp in cemeteries. The back woods of Southern Appalachia are filled with graves of the poor and forgotten soul.

I was heavily into gothic things as a kid but having religious parents meant being forced to bottle it up for years. I’m 29 now and trying to re-embrace that part of myself while juggling my other seemingly unrelated interests. I’m a big art history nerd after minoring in it in college. I love floral patterns. I’m into fitness and I’ve been competing in Muay Thai for 5 years. I relate to this so much.

@wanderinghistorian

Жыл бұрын

I'm always sad to hear stories like this. I don't know what religion you were a part of but Christianity has had a bad track record of hating on gothic in the last ~100 years which is sad because for most of its existence this wasn't the case. One only needs to look at the art from the Middle Ages to see that the Church was once really into death and skeletons and all things dark and gloomy. The Bible itself is full of many dark stories and metaphors. My favorite book is Ecclesiastes and it's pretty much the Christian/Jewish version of nihilism. God embraces both the light-hearted and the heavy-hearted. He is a God of light and darkness and made them both. I hope you can find healing and truth on your path.

I love anything spooky and macabre. Ever since I was a very wee child. I don't really know why, it's just always been very appealing and interesting to me. If you haven't read it yet, I recommend From Here to Eternaty by Caitlin Doughty.

Scorpios unite! We love the darkness. As a chronic migraineur, i have a lot of vampire-like qualities that I have become comfortable with. I moved away from the macabre for many years, but as part of my deconversion from fundamentalist/evangelical Christianity, I'm moving back in. Edit: I laughed so hard when you said "I haven't read it back to cover," because i read coffee table books any old way 🤣

I feel this so much. I'm American, and I spent my 40th birthday in Edinburgh, touring Greyfriars Kirk and Mary Kings Close. It made me so happy. Definitely the best birthday of my life.

Your enthusiasm in this unscripted video is delightful; anything missing related to your inability to complete the script is more than made up for. Continue well, Cinzia.

Sorry to hear about the bullying and so glad you found your place in the world despite it.

i am a former fine arts student and current mortuary student- in my head i’ve always viewed you as a kindred spirits but this video resonated deep with me. much love my friend. 🖤

Thank you for sharing, as someone who also deals with depression and ADHD and who has been heavily judge for having a fascination with the macabre it is really comforting to know that I am truly not alone. You really don’t know how much this video helped.

@adeeraborge

Жыл бұрын

Seconded ❤

Please don’t t feel shame for losing your place when you talk! You’re passionate about your topic, and who could help being distracted by the total cuteness of your dog! It happens to the best of us. ❤

Halloween was (and still is) my favourite holiday as a child. Darkness has always felt cozy to me but I also shied away from being open about that due to my mental health, being a bit older, I'm embracing it. I like the juxtaposition of the different parts of my personality and don't feel the need to justify it anymore :) Thanks for making this video - it's nice to know I'm not alone!

Lovely video, i love the combination of cute dog playing and macabre dark subjects ♡

As someone who fell in love with the gothic as a young child and someone who has used the beauty of darkness and horror to work through my own mental illness, I feel seen! Thank you for this! Also, if you haven't had an opportunity to read it yet Ronald Hutton's The Witch: A History Of Fear is an amazing book on the history of witchcraft in various cultures.

Loved the unscripted video actually, felt like when my friends and I info dump to each other about our hyper fixations! Also, I have that exact Sanderson Sisters Museum design on a mug and it’s my go-to morning coffee mug when I’m feeling particularly witchy and gothic that day. Always brightens my day in a dark, slightly macabre sort of way lol

Having all the photos grouped together in a book is a cost-saving measure. It allows the printer to use less expensive paper for text and save the fancy stuff for when it counts. Since special pages generally have to be inserted by hand, grouping them together saves a lot of time, and time is money.

I'm currently working on a series of essays about why people who are into certain macabre/taboo interests/subcultures (ie. the death-positivity movement, vulture culture, the occult, etc.) don't deserve their bad reputation. I believe that these topics are important because our understanding and acceptance of them acts as a kind of shadow work, both on an individual level and as a culture or society. It's important to acknowledge these darker aspects of our lives in order to have a better understanding and respect for ourselves. Also, if you get a chance to go to Philadelphia, go to the Mütter Museum! It's a medical oddity museum that (apparently) circulates its displays fairly often. I went last year and it was probably the highlight of my trip!

Death is a part of life, a part most people are afraid of. I am another one who is fascinated by it, and have been for most of my 54 years, mostly because I'm a hardheaded Aries who doesn't like being afraid of anything, so I look right at scary things until they don't scare me anymore. But mostly I'm fascinated by it because almost all of my family has died, so I want to know that they aren't really gone. Ghost "hunting" shows are my guilty pleasure for that last reason, but only the ones where the cast are skeptical believers who don't squeal at every dust mote and call it an orb. So thank you for this video! I enjoyed it immensely as I took notes and petted my own pup Sugar Pie. (And your pup's cut looks WONDERFUL! He's simply adorable.)

Oh, it's one of my pet peeves that nonfiction books for adults contain so few illustrations! It's one of the reasons why I love and collection children's books as much as I do. A picture is worth a thousand words, and just showing something helps someone understand things so much better than a long, wordy description.

Loved this video! Thank you for showing books that are macabre and explaining their importance and how they are comforting. As someone with anxiety who finds this topic interesting it’s always nice to see someone in the same boat.

Speaking of death and macabre things. I’m not sure if you’ll see this or take video suggestions from the comments but I would love a video of historical accounts of PTSD. I read a little about it the other day in a discussion about how some older people say ptsd/mental illness didn’t exist when they were young despite them having numerous examples of relatives and friends going through traumatic experiences and who clearly weren’t alright afterwards. I found one article briefly going through some historical accounts (mentioned a soldier in the battle of Marathon, Assyrian soldiers, accounts from the 100 years war, and that Shakespeare depicted it in some of his plays) but I’m in STEM so history is far away from my field of research (I get too emotionally invested & devastated whenever I read anything history related which is why I chose the natural sciences instead lol) (hope this didn’t come off as demanding a specific video topic, English isn’t my first language as you can probably tell, but the subject caught my interest 😊)

@robertajeanrogers7623

Жыл бұрын

Dear a, You spoke very well 😊 I believe that none of us English Only speakers would ever think you weren’t one of us 👍 Also, just want to sayI I wish I could speak whatever your native language may be as well as you communicate in English: Most excellently 🌟

Before this video, I have never felt relatable in my life with the things I found beautiful and complex. Thank you for doing a video on this topic and sharing your opinions and great pieces of literature. I have really enjoyed your explanation of wide range of topics. I also love your beautiful personality and whimsical energy shown in the entire video. I can't wait for more content on your channel ✨

I've dealt with curiosity for all things dark to the point where my parents blamed my depression on horror films because that's all I'd watch, especially supernatural horror. I love ghost stories, zombies, vamps and werewolves. I spent this last October watching the classic Universal monster films. Really enjoy, your voice is so comforting, I've struggled with bipolar depression and no I don't think it's weird to love gothic things while not dressing or decorating in a goth aesthetic, pet your little man for me, take care🐶🖤👩🏻‍🏫

I was raised Christian. After a not so great marriage. I’ve healed and moved forward. I didn’t come awake from it unscathed (complex ptsd and anxiety, amongst other things). I’m now a pagan and a witch. It’s been amazing for me.

As goth/alt person I love Gothic & Macabre themes and works of art. I've liked horror movies since I were a kid and after reading Frankenstein for the first time as a teen it really started my curiousity towards the subject.

Adding many of these to my Wishlist! Think you'd love Memento Mori: The Dead Among Us - another beautiful book all about death.

I AM doing splendidly thank you very much, same to you best of luck w the upload, seems intriguing!

Hey, just wanted to say thank you for opening up and putting this out there. It really helped a lot. It's nice knowing I'm not the only one who felt this way growing up and carried on in life. Thank you for all you do, please take care always.

The way your ADHD kept derailing you this video was so adorable and relatable. Thank you for being so genuine with us.

I really enjoyed this unscripted video, and seeing some of your gorgeous books. I myself have an obsession with and huge fear of death as well as mental illness. I think these darker subjects and books can be helpful to come to an acceptance of the inevitability of death. I connect with Lovecraft's work in particular since the unknown and simply comprehending things like existence and reality is terrifying and overwhelming to me. I'm definitely looking forward to your next essay, but this was such a nice video to start my day with.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us Cinzia! 🙆‍♀️

Hello Cinzia, you share my mother's name which is rare enough so I love it all the more! I hope we may hear interesting pieces out of these books! I've lost my ability to read well after a multiple-year burnout. I've just started work again, switched to the funeral industry, and with a history of being goth (also not so much in daily life clothing or interior styling but more mentally - probably similar to you and yes I think you may call that goth even if you don't wear black, there should be no gatekeeping

Loved this video! When you were talking about your interest in being close to Death and the dead, it reminded me of a book I read and loved at the beggining of this year called "All the Living and the Dead" by Hayley Campbell. It's such a beautiful exploration of death, what it means for us in the West and for the people who work with the dead... I think you would really like it (if you haven't read it already)!

Great video! I love the more casual style. I'm glad you chose to share this part of yourself with us despite your mental health issues. As for exorcism books, I don't have anything specific, but I'm sure Angela's Symposium here on YT can point you I the right direction. Also, Dr. Justin Sledge at Esoterica has an amazing video on Mesopotamian ghosts based on Irving Finkel's book for those interested.

Thanx Cinzia: I am a lover of the gothic & macabre. It gives me great comfort. I too endure trauma based anxiety & depression but let me say the gothic makes me feel well & connected with the past. At 50 years-old I can say categorically that it is the darkness that keeps me alive. Loving your channel

this was such a cathartic video for me. i was a very morbid child with weird interests too, and i strongly related to what you said about feeling like you had to hide your interest in death, darkness, horror, etc. the adults around me really made me feel monstrous for the books/movies that i was into growing up, and i was so affected by the things they said + the way they treated me that i spent entirely too much of my life suppressing my weird but benign interests as well. so glad we have both been able to come back to ourselves despite it all. 💜

This video is so natural and spontaneus that the inmersion made me feel like I was there with you, having a cup of tea and chatting.

Loved the chaos! Particularly the canine chaos. Surprised by how similar we are in terms of youthful darkness fascination. Another wonderful video. Thank you, Cinzia x

Oh! I’m finally here within 5 minutes of upload! I can’t wait to hear new things about the books that got me through high school and my early adulthood 😁

Journal of the plague year was my favourite book for a time. It’s fascinating

Thanks!

Hello there If this helps at all: I liked this video a lot. There's an appreciable honesty in non scripted videos. I will be watching any future video like this as well. Thank you again and have a great day.

An unplanned freeform vid is a welcome surprise in the morning! Great vibes

I’m glad to know I’m not the only “Gothic on the inside” person out there. I really enjoyed this video and I’m enjoying reading all the various shades of dark things people in the comments love, too. And, of course, the sweet pup. 🥺

I was actually just browsing around for my next read so this is great timing! I also did my PhD because of a love of death, ghosts, and spirituality around the beyond (I'm an anthropologist!). Also your dog is SO CUTE and I love him!

Dr. Irving Finkle is a legend! I love his lectures, he is quite vigorous and entertaining when you see him speak.

This whole video feels oddly validating, like many of your other videos! I also have a learning disability, I was born November 1st, I was obsessed with death (and vampires!) as a kid, and got into classics that way. I chose to play the viola in 5th grade because the instructor said it was darker compared to violin. I am currently taking a medical leave from undergrad and this has led to questioning whether I even love what I love or whether I'm good enough to pursue it. Hearing a kindred spirit speak about it has rekindled my childlike enthusiasm for all things macabre! 🧛🏻

Everything about this!!! I don't want to repeat what the other lovelies have said (but same). I impulse bought that "coffee table book" about witches in art on the hottest day of the year while visiting Vermont. I had to schlep it with me through a children's museum because I wanted to learn more about Champ, the Nessy-esque lake cryptid who may or may not live in Lake Champlain. Worth it - the whole experience. Also! If you are interested in the Spiritualist movement and shifty mediums, you will need to read Radical Spirits by Ann Braude. It's still in print! There are a few other fairly decent books about mediums and spiritualism in the States (trust me, they're staring at me from my shelf right now!) Thank you , as always.

"The dog is white, and well, so am I." "Why is this my main gift? "It has a dead body on the front cover." I thought this was a lovely discussion. I, too, have a fascination with dark things (and cute pets), which I tried to hide/ignore for a long time. I discovered that was actually counterproductive when it came to trying to deal with my mental health. Accepting my fascination has been much more helpful and healthy. I very much enjoyed this video, and I wouldn't mind seeing more. I understand how it can be terribly frustrating/unsatisfying doing it this way/seeing the product made this way, but honestly, I even loved this glimpse of your ADHD. It's ok for us to exist and take up space in this world, you know.

I'm really thankful you decided to make this video. It's nice to know there are other people with the same tastes. I find so much beauty in the macabre, and I feel more at home with gothic stories and themes. But, if you looked at me, you wouldn't label me as a "Goth."

That fluffy doggo!

This video means so much to me. Tough I'm fully aware that there are soo many people out there who enjoy the same topics & face similiar struggles as I do, I tend to stand out where I live (small town Germany). It can feel rather isolating - so it's always such a joy and relief to see (in this video, in the comments) that I'm not the only one 💜

The more videos of your I watch, the more I am convinced that you are my sister from another mister. Listening to you describe yourself as a loner who has to hide their love of the dark and macabre sounds like a line from my autobiography! I really appreciate all you do and the expertise you share in all of your videos!

I did my Masters in Library Science at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign and they had a STRICT “No photography” policy for their Special Collections items so it is very possible to write a book and not be able to include photographs. 😞😔

Speaking of séances, I grew up near Rochester, NY which is where the Fox sisters were from and I've often seen them credited as starting the "spiritualist" movement. There aren't really any museums or anything about them, but they come up a fair amount in documentaries. And a good book about exorcisms is The Exorcism of Annaliese Michel by Dr. Felicitas D. Goodman. Miss Michel's exorcism was the basis for The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Dr. Goodman's book is basically the authoritative account of it.

I don’t know why but I keep on coming back to this video. It came out and I watched it the day I had to do the ACT. I was so anxious and afraid for it. I went to the school that I would do the test at the day before and it took a few tries to get into the building without breaking down (I do an online school because I had problems with other students at my in person school, so this would be the first time in a while that I would be going to an in person school for something. This video calmed me and ever since it has a calming and comforting space for me. I like learning about you Cinzia and am actually kind of sad that I didn’t get to your channel sooner to see your old content, but I understand why you priveted those videos. I found your channel when you released the Pendle Witch Trials video and have been a big fan ever since! I love your work and how informative it all is! Keep doing what you’re doing!

Flowers can be part of dark imagery. "With flowers and my love, both never to come back."

wow! this is really interesting :) I grew up with very similar interests in death and the gothic and it's really great to hear someone with a very similar sensibility talk about all of this! I can't wait to buy some of these books and get lost in their pages. I would definitely recommend the youtuber Ask A Mortician if you haven't seen them already.

I'm so early and a new regular

The best non-fiction book about serial killers, that has probably ever been written, is a 2002 book by Robert Graysmith. It's called "Zodiac Unmasked: The Identity of America's Most Elusive Serial Killer Revealed." Graysmith spent thirty years researching this subject, before writing this book, and he effectively demonstrates in it who the California Zodiac killer actually was. Another aspect, of this book, is the frightening and life like recreation of both the Zodiac killer and his crimes, and how he was never publicly identified until the publication of this book.

That dog rose rope is super cute!

Cinzia, I’ve found “Therapy in a nutshell “ very helpful. It’s a podcast on You Tube. I also recommend “ESOTERICA”. It’s another KZread channel. This channel is the most in depth on witchcraft and history.

Cinzia you are a delightfully adorable Librarian person and I wish for you all the happiness that you deserve. I look forward to your videos every evening. Books DO save lives!

Wonderful Video! If anybody feels the need to express their displeasure in the Autofocus. Just tell them to go have a "Proper listening experience to Vogon Poetry." Ask them to return with their wist once they have accomplished the task with a full report. However. Thank you for letting us in a bit into your world. It was refreshing to hear a somewhat similar tale.

This video is absolutely delightful. Thank you so much for such a fun and lovely discussion :) It feels like a love letter. And on topics I love too!

I have just discovered your channel and love your videos! Will definitely be checking out your book recommendations! You’re such a gem, we are definitely of the same ilk- the difference being I was obsessed with history & archeology and mythology as a child & as an adult put those loves away for more “practical “ things. Am just now rediscovering this part of myself. I am quickly becoming a regular. Keep up the amazing work! 🖤

I completely relate to everything you said in this video, thank you for making it! I'll say your mom rocks for knowing you that well, embracing/respecting your interests, and getting you something she thought you'd appreciate!

Great video. You’ve succeeded in making my gift wish list infinitely longer lol

Grimdark is my favourate setting entirely because it is far more inspirational to show hope in an hopeless situation then one that seems to be a universe created to let a main character succeed. Same with most cosmic horror really, thanks for your videos lady! You're welcome in my "call of cthulhu" roleplay games anytime your in Carlisle!

In my childhood visiting graveyards and cemeteries during family holidays was the norm. Looking for the oldest resident and gravestones! Along with text and images not being close together are small, poorly drawn maps or diagrams. Instead I like pull-out maps that can be spread on a table and followed without flicking to random pages.

Witchcraft, the ancient world, death and small fluffy dogs (my doxie is looking at me)…. I love this channel!

As one who, for a primary school woodwork project, made a miniature working guillotine, I can relate.

I totally understand where you are coming from. Excepting a very short period during my teens when I tried being a goth, I too like floral patterns, I'm blonde, I like doing my nails different vibrant or pastel colours. At the same time, I love reading about vampires, medieval heresy and Inquisition trials, witchcraft, ancient Roman (and other cultures) tombs, the afterlife. My BA thesis paper was on Gothic elements in Pope's Eloise to Abelard. I have my own demons to battle and maybe looking at this external darkness makes my own more bearable. I think one doesn't need to advertise their interests through their clothing (for example I also listen to rock/metal among other genres but I don't feel the need to wear band t-shirts). If anyone is interested they can find out through conversation. P. S. I'm also born on November 5th 😁

This was lovely and relatable. Thank you Cinzia 🖤

I really liked the style of this video where you're just talking to us! Your personality is a vibe. Thanks for sharing your book collection and interests with us!

I just subscribed because of your Atlantis and Nazism link (your research is superb) and I’m glad I did. I’m a goth myself and even if I weren’t I would still find the macabre, death and darkness interesting subjects.

I always look forward to your presentations of such rich interesting topics. You deserve to be and do as you choose. You're a delightful person that fills many listeners couple of hours a week with an enthusiastic and youthful way it may be easy for some of us to care for you like a niece. May each day be blessed for you and your home!

I understand your fascination with the macabre, you are amazing with outstanding knowledge. I also love this subject and I study archaeology and history, I have dyslexia and Asperger's and am a licensed tour guide in Malta.

This is an extraordinarily enjoyable video, and I’m so envious of your collection of macabre books!

Just got my hands on a couple books whose beauty blew me away and it reminded me of this video: • _Exploring the Invisible: Art, Science, and the Spiritual_ • _Mathematics + Art: A Spiritual History ^^ by Lynn Gamwell • _The Book of Symbols_ - The Archive for Research on Archetypal Symbolism (Taschen) Still waiting for the next one unfortunately: • _Leonora Carrington, Alchemy and Art_ - Susan L. Alberth • _Hilma af Klint: Visionary_ • _Hilma af Klint: Occult Painter and Abstract Pioneer_ - Åke Fant

A signed edition of the Devil's Atlas, now that's wild.

I love this type of video discussing deep interests ❤ I definitely have these types of weird interests where I feel like people would look at me weird for them. And my grandma would have absolutely lost her mind worrying over my soul…but I’m fascinated with certain literature and learning. It is definitely a passion!thank you Cinzia! Hope your are having a fantastic day!

You can like flowers and darkness. Nightshade is a flower, after all. :)

👍👍I love to see a library tour! You've got some great looking books there, cheers! Lol when you bind books with skin you don't get pictures, you get tattoos 😁

Yes!!!! A fantastic video! Really fun and you are in good company with those who watch your video. Also a huge love of the darker side to history, death and those taboo topics! Well done🎉❤😊

Oh, you're not living your life completely alone! You're online, and there's a lot of us here! (Waves cheerfully from Arizona!) If it weren't for the Internet, I'd have a much harder time finding people who like the kinds of things I like. 🤓📚

I hope you follow Caitlin Doughty. She refers to her followers as her Deathlings. As a mortician, she knows a lot about death and studies it. Her videos and books on death are fascinating. Sadly, no pictures in her books. I think authors do this to save money. It costs more to get the rights to the images and to have them printed in the book. But I do agree with you. Wish all books had pictures to go with what they are talking about.

I always love to hear about what others are reading! If you ever decide to do another unscripted video about books, I would definitely be interested and I'm sure other people would be too! (Also, hearing/seeing your dogs in the background of videos is always a joy)

Thank you. Be well!

You are my absolute new favorite thing on KZread. Thrilled to have found your page! Thank you for your authenticity. Please never stop being weird. Ever. It would be fun to walk in the rain with flowery parasols and discuss the darkness of the world lol Again, your candid nature is so appreciated and endearing. #mentalhealthiseveryoneshealth #merrybe 😊

Those all sound like some great books, but The Devil's Atlas really got my attention. I'm going to have to look into it.