I am Dutch and I have difficulty understanding UK and US people. Example: I propose something, and the UK/US counterpart says "that's interesting". As a Dutchman, I think, wow, he thinks it is a good idea, whilst the opposite is true. That has nothing to do with context. In my Dutch cultural book, saying "interesting" when you are not interested, is lying and thus rude towards me.

More consice = less context, you say. And that's correct, although you seem to have a problem with it. You see, when you ask me if i'm coming to your party next friday, and i say no, YOU want to know why. But I, (the Dutch) don't feel the need to explain this, it's not necessary. If only (for you) an explanation satisfies your feelings about my answer, just remember it is You whois making things more complicated, You asked a question, and you got the most clear answer possible. We (the Dutch) do NOT instantly think something negative when the answer is no, it's actually what we want to hear, because it's honest and concise, although we most likely wanted to hear the opposite.

I think @bojankarlas is spot on here. Even to many Dutch people I'm considered as quite direct. I pride myself in being concise and to the point without wasting anyone's time, especially in the workplace. Being rude, to me, means intentionally disregarding someone's feelings, which is rarely what I'm trying to achieve. In The Netherlands, people sugarcoating things are commonly considered as dishonest and therefore not trustworthy. That being said I'm certain there are lots of honest people out there who prefer the sugarcoating way. You are talking about less context = less understanding = perceived as rude. Sugarcoating is quite the opposite of that with the same result. There is too much context which is free for interpretation. The actual message will be in there somewhere for you to find, or not, but eventually you will find out anyway. So... sugarcoating = too much or wrong information = offend someone without immediate response or consequences :)

Neither American nor Dutch here (Serbian living in the US). I feel like your analysis is overly complex. Even though your arguments don't seem wrong, I'm not sure it's the best explanation of what might be going on. What is rude depends on cultural context. You shouldn't try to come up with general truths about the Dutch just because their culture may rub you a certain way (i.e. they might not be generally rude, they just appear rude to you as an American). I think Americans try very hard to (a) avoid conflict, (b) leave a positive impression on people. That's why I think it's common to be overly nice and positive. Also, if there's something negative to say, it is always said in a very layered way (to avoid conflict or making people feel bad, and developing a negative feeling towards you). And the evolution of that is, if someone does not do their best to say things in a layered way, it feels like they are not being respectful/curteous enough to try and "soften the blow" for you, which would be judged as being too blunt. This is not necessarily the approach that other societies take.

@TaylorsEpiphanyonCulture

Ай бұрын

Thank you for the thoughtful comment. You’re right - we generally do try to avoid conflict when we communicate, especially with family or coworkers. I think that’s why we rhetorical question “how are you?”.

@LalaDepala_00

Ай бұрын

Americans sugarcoat everything and spend more time avoiding the actual subject than talking about the actual subject. Dutch people appreciate practical results.

Being Dutch I love directness, people who are not direct and beats around the bushes appear to be not honest or even lying. Not all Dutch people are direct, mine experience is that in big cities and in the west people ar more direct.

love your videos

@TaylorsEpiphanyonCulture

Ай бұрын

Thank you!

It would've helped if you gave some examples. Now I'm kind of lost. Is this very dutch? :P

@knol1969

18 күн бұрын

Example from this Dutch: If you wear a new sweater and ask a Dutch person what he/she thinks of your sweater he/she will not say it looks fine even if even when they think it looks ugly but wil day it looks ugly. 😉

4:12 Words mean what they mean and that is very confusing. Is that what you said? How can that be confusing?

@TaylorsEpiphanyonCulture

18 күн бұрын

😂 You might be right. Too funny.

i am dutch and what irritates me often in american society is upgrading compliments as a whole. when something is good , dutch tell it is good, not great or fantistic when it is bad is exacly that, bad. if you always upgrade you're compliments, what do you say when you realy think that someting is fantastic, you have no expression for it. by placing everything closer to the ceiling, the you basicly lower the ceilling. stop sugarcoating things by saing the way that is is, and give tips or idea's how to improve on that. directness is not a way just to insult. it is an affective way of comunicating that makes it clear to everyone how it realy is and it makes for more direct and effective comunication.

@TaylorsEpiphanyonCulture

Ай бұрын

That’s an interesting point. I agree, American communication standards can sometimes exaggerate opinions. This goes back to my argument that the Dutch are more literal.

@Britta_no_filter

24 күн бұрын

American here. We’re generally an exuberant country, hence why we upgrade compliments without even being conscious that we’re doing it. We rely heavily on facial expression, body language, and intonation. When we call something “fantastic”, and we mean it’s fantastic, you’ll usually be able to tell by our big smile or the enthusiasm in our voice. If we call something fantastic and we mean it’s good, we’re usually quieter and more stoic.