Why do you believe people keep so much stuff? Share your thoughts so others can see that they’re not alone in how they feel.

@heavenshaffer

2 жыл бұрын

I wonder if a part of it was childhood poverty. They had nothing they needed as kids. And making up for lost time.

@BellaEssentialLiving

2 жыл бұрын

"A bird in hand is worth two in the bush." Ancient thinking that does not come from lack, but rather inaccessibility.

@alanbirkner1958

2 жыл бұрын

My late mother in law used to say, I spent a lot of money for that. Tina

@lyssarida236

2 жыл бұрын

Emotional attachment

@ThatZombieLife

2 жыл бұрын

The gift and sentimental reasons get me all the time but as all of us live busy lives we do often forget what we give ppl so I shouldn't feel as bad

A GREAT way to get rid of stuff- My mom’s world war 2 cadet nursing uniform-She worked so hard for it, and was so proud of it. She kept it immaculate in a clothing bag until she died in 2014. I inherited it. I was driving by our state historical society one day, and I stopped by to ask if they would have any interest in a WWII cadet nurse uniform. They were so excited about it. I donated it proudly!Mom would be thrilled that her pride and joy articles of clothing are now a part of an historical collection! 😊 Also, we had all these 1930s pictures of logs. Like THOUSANDS of logs in ponds. We had no idea what that was about. I brought those pics along with other pics to the town historical society. They liked the other pics, but they went nuts over the logs! They were pictures of all of the trees that were blown down in the 1938 hurricane that decimated New England. The New Englanders had them all milled into 2 x 4s, and those pictures showed the magnitude of the damage. We were completely clueless. The Historical society took them, and all the rest, very gladly. Same with old letters or audio tapes from war zones. If you want old keepsakes to be valued for posterity, give them to historical societies and libraries!

@laurieb2296

2 жыл бұрын

That is great ! What a great way to honor your mom and share with the World.

@LeMErin21

2 жыл бұрын

I absolutely love this ♥️

@alexandraburris2876

2 жыл бұрын

Whoa, that's so cool!!

@FifiAllia

2 жыл бұрын

Fabulous and thoughtful

@j.e.7028

2 жыл бұрын

What a lovely story..Thank you for sharing,your mum must be so proud of you God Bless

The "just in case" items is the top reason in my opinion why people keep so much stuff

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

That’s a big one! Thanks for sharing!

@omaralkayal7598

2 жыл бұрын

And the memory stuff as well

@laminage

2 жыл бұрын

Right On! Also alot of things have sentimental value because it was given to you by a Relative or because you worked hard for yours. You feel that if you get rid of certain things you don't value them and the folks who gave it to you. It may also represent a past that made you feel really good about yourself. I got rid of alot of things. I'm not a Hoarder but I've learned so much about decluttering. My Room feels cleaner, more organized and remember "Clutter Cuts Off Energy".

@bunnyboo6295

2 жыл бұрын

@Matt Tyler I like that

The "just in case", "this is sentimental" or "this was expensive" are the most common reasons I hear. I made these excuses years ago when I was burned out and full of clutter physically and mentally. Addressing each root cause is important to transition into intentional and joyful living - which is a journey and not an overnight destination. Thank you for another important topic Ronald!

@meredithdonovan8574

2 жыл бұрын

Being poor, I often find things on the side of the road in good condition. Just can't see it going to the dump, so I lug it home for you never know when you'll need it!

@gretaeder5996

2 жыл бұрын

The exact 3 reasons I was going to comment!

@kirmitzi

2 жыл бұрын

I agree with these reasons :)

@forrestaustin7050

2 жыл бұрын

Just in case is best of the 3 to have certain items around. Especially these days!

@user-sy7ni6dz4k

2 жыл бұрын

I struggle with the "just in case" mentality. It's hard to let go of the growing up poor mentality, so I tend to be part prepper part minimalist. It's a confusing and often conflicting place to be, mentally.

“I spent money on it” sometimes you spend more than you should have to support a fantasy or ideal future you.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

“I spent money on it” is definitely an excuse many people have used before. Thanks for sharing!

@Stephanie-ki5oz

2 жыл бұрын

Totally feel you on this one!

@bjwilliams

2 жыл бұрын

@@Stephanie-ki5oz except I really don't want folks to give me stuff since I am a minimalist, lol. I give my adult grandchildren cash for occasions, so they can buy what they want. Clutter makes me nervous, been this way from a child, lol..peace😻

I was actually just thinking about this the other day. I think it's a psychological thing that has to do with fear of Abandonment and needing control. After all, it's your stuff, you bought it, you control it and it can't just get up and walk away from you. And this is why people have such a hard time letting things go, it's like you have lost control.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Deep! You’re absolutely right as well! I talk about fear often throughout my content and fear of abandonment or need to be in control as huge and quite common across many people. Thanks for sharing! Great insight!

@justinewhite-hadley3138

2 жыл бұрын

Wow. That is true!!

@june.w.1288

2 жыл бұрын

Or, if you are poor, you fear you would need it but won't have the money to buy it again. Fear of something certainly has something to do with it. Like, now because of the pandemic, a lot of people in America buy food for years in advance, for fear of dying of hunger. And the really poor people like in war zones, don't even have opportunity to buy anything.

@alexandraburris2876

2 жыл бұрын

Whoaaa reading this was a game-changer for me - thank you Jamice!

@MeeCee5204

2 жыл бұрын

@@alexandraburris2876 This was true for me and why I had a hard time getting rid of things. It was a psychological issue of dealing with the fact that something that once belonged to you is now gone forever.

TWO things I learned on your channel that will make a total difference in my life. 1 - the money that was spent on a certain item will not come back, rare in some exceptions where it can sell at a good price. This brings the importance of analyzing very carefully before purchasing any new item. 2 - If you get a gift, it means this item is now yours, and you have the right to do whatever you want with it.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!! Absolutely. I’m really happy these ideas resonated with you and thank you for sharing. I believe others will benefit from this comment! Keep growing on your journey! 🙌🏾

@Everythingkashy

5 ай бұрын

Yess!!

When I cleaned out my parents house after 40+ years, did I realize how much STUFF they had. It took my hubbie and sons approx 8 hours to clean out the basement. I donated as much as I could and still had enough stuff to fill two large garbage bins. It made me look my own house differently. I have started getting rid of clothes, shoes, other house hold stuff. I now hate clutter!!!!😍🥰😘.

@krystalchristensen3555

2 жыл бұрын

Interesting. Your comment makes me think that you might be interested in the concept of "swedish death cleaning". Look it up. It's not what it sounds like 😉

@ilonacappell8638

2 жыл бұрын

My siblings and I had to empty my parents home after mother passed away.....50 plus years of STUFF in a 3-story house,!!!!!!!..... It took weeks. It was an eye opening experience. Made me take a hard look at my own home, possessions and reasons for keeping things. Those reasons are a mix of all the ones mentioned in the video. Glad to realize thisnow because I want to spare my daughter having to deal with these things later on.

@saresapleasant1042

2 жыл бұрын

@@ilonacappell8638 I'm helping my senior aunt move and she has issues letting go. It's a work in progress.

@annettecarter9393

2 жыл бұрын

Same. Took 8 hours to clean my dad's tool closet alone. The rest of the house took days. I too vowed to get rid of my own crap sooner rather than later. But it's a process.

I just want to let you know that I really appreciate your simple, concise, no nonsense, yet gentle and no judgement videos. And I love the supportive way you interact with your viewers. You truly are a blessing to many. Thank you!

*“If your mind isn’t clouded by unnecessary things, then this is the best season of your life.” Wu-Men*

One thing I had to learn was that it’s okay to give myself permission to break up a set. I don’t actually need or use every piece of cookware in a set, there’s nothing wrong with donating the extras. When I needed a silicone whisk to not scratch my pots, for example, at the time I could only find them in a set of three. It’s okay to donate the others. When I inherited my grandmother’s entire collection of pewter figurines, there were hundreds. I kept a few I loved that fit in my keepsake bin, and a pewter nativity set that comes out at Christmas. I don’t need three hundred things to remember or honor her, when three (or even one), does the exact same thing.

@massages_for_world_peace8909

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! I'm still struggling with this! I got a pack of lids for jars and they only came in packs of 18 at the store! I need to get rid of the half them without thinking ohh they're great quality and I paid for them and maybe I should save them for when the first pack wears out! lol! Plus with sets, it means more to choose our favs. My dad gifted me a dishware set and I kept one bowl and 2 small serving bowls, but the plates I kept for years before finally giving away, I just never liked them, and someone else will love them and probably not even realize they were part of a set originally! I think you choosing your top choices out of your grandma's collection is so great! Now instead of having a large clutter that makes you resent it, you have a select few that make you smile in her honor!

After decluttering the obvious stuff, I've found the biggest impact has been stopping the inflow of items. Over the last few years we've been using up stuff or letting it wear out and not replacing it.

Our local hospice has a thrift store. They helped a lot when my dad was dying, so I like to donate to them.

@alexandraburris2876

2 жыл бұрын

Nice move! P.S. So sorry for the loss of your father!

When I bought most of it I was depressed. Now I realize none of this stuff makes me happy, but , giving it away frees my brain and does make me happy

1. Prepper mentality "two is one, and one is none" ... Also, as someone else also said, "better to have and not need it than to need it and not have it" 2. Circular reasoning: I've kept it for this long already, so it must be important and I should keep it. Or not wanting to admit the guilt that I should have gotten rid of long ago. 3. Repairman-mindset: I have a lot of old computer tools and parts. Some of it would be difficult or expensive to replace if I were to need (want) it in the future. Also, newer is not always better, a.k.a., they don't build them like they used to. I like being able to help people and feel bad if I can't due to lacking a specific old part, for example.

Overcompensating for things I am missing in my life and for what I never had in my past. But I am overcoming! 👏🏻

@june.w.1288

2 жыл бұрын

I am happy for you! I am also on the way of healing.

My reason is avoidance. I have accumulating stacks of things that I just don't want to deal with.

Emotional attachment is the biggest reason for me! Plus, I was raised without enough (no winter coat or boots in Montana) and I think I still slightly fear not having enough, which is completely unreasonable.

Reason one: might need it in the future. Reason two: it’s a gift from someone. Reason three: I’m gonna wear it when I lose weight(never loses weight).

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

All of these a very true and very common! Thank you for sharing and keeping it real too!

@janetstonerook4552

2 жыл бұрын

I used to do that keeping clothing until I lost weight. A friend said "Wouldn't you want to celebrate if you lost a size or two by buying a new wardrobe? Would you really wanna go back to wearing that horrible polyester stuff with shoulder pads from the 90s?"

@bunnyboo6295

2 жыл бұрын

Hum maybe its time to let go of small cloths I only have gotten bigger

@bunnyboo6295

2 жыл бұрын

@@janetstonerook4552 But you don't want to go naked either what if you can't afford cloths.

@jenshark4

2 жыл бұрын

@@janetstonerook4552 I keep one size up and one size down. If I gain a little weight I’m covered. if I lose a little weight I’m covered. I find with keeping one size up and one size down I rarely have to buy clothes.

For years I was seeking external things as a way to express myself and a source of happiness or mental illness cures. After realising this, in addition to other aspects such as the unnecessary stress/busyness from from unnecessary things, even something as simple as a cabinet with shelves that are there for you to buy things for to fill, I sold/donated/trashed tons of my belongings, clothes, furniture, etc. and feel incredibly more at peace. I wake up in a simple, minimalist environment, wear the same type of clothing, stick to a consistent schedule, simplified my finances, investments and relationships, prep meals in advance and keep dopamine bloating at bay (thank you Andrew Huberman - check his YT channel). Minimalism allowed me to begin my life for the first time ever after almost 3 decades of mess. Thanks for your videos!

as I'm going through the process of decluttering my parents hoarder garage, my dads reasons are: going to use it one day, want to fix it, and it still works. 'm trying to show him the benefits of less is more and hopefully get things more organized so he spends less time looking for stuff he needs to use.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

I love this! “Want to fix it” is good and I think it definitely speaks to a deeper connection or past memory! Good luck helping your parents. Sounds challenging but also fun!

@GolfPrincessCL

2 жыл бұрын

This is my mom! So many plans and good intentions for so many things. My dad is a "I paid good money for that" hoarder. Between the two of them, it's a hot mess LOL

@Momma_AL

2 жыл бұрын

Ya I don’t know how old your parents are but it seems most older people have a different mentality. I’m 58 and I think even my age group has a bit of a materialistic / more is more mentality. IDK how I turned out the way I did lol

@CH-1984

2 жыл бұрын

Yep, the "I'm going to fix it" reason. I can't even give it away, because it's missing parts or is broken or it needs sewing. Love your videos Ronald!

@MarielaMerino

2 жыл бұрын

@@RonaldLBanks it's a lot of work but it's fun! thank you!

I realized one of my reasons for keeping so many this I have had so many swings in income so it's hard to part with some stuff because I'm when the need arrives I'm afraid I won't have the money to provide for the needs. This definitely applying to my kids hand me downs for clothes, books and toys as they age as well as clothes for myself because my weight changes. The other reason is just the..."one day".... like one day I might use it.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for opening up and keeping it real. You’re absolutely right with both of these and many others feel the same way. Thanks for sharing!

Everything said was so true, I really do feel sorry for people who can’t get rid of excess. I recently found if I am in cluttered space I become anxious which was really strange to me since I have only been minimizing for the past 2+ years. Keep sharing Ron!

Here lately, I feel like it is the scarcity mindset...after last year and now hearing in the news that there are shortages again, you might get scared to get rid of things

@bjwilliams

2 жыл бұрын

Cut down on watching news- always negative. Make your own plan for your house, how you want to live going forward. \ today getting rid of glasses= only keeping tall ones for orange juice when I host brunches, or wine goblets__ people only drink bottle water these days anyway.\ ps_ my grandparents were Davis!! RIP❤.

For me it's knowing that most donated items never get used but end up in landfill or get resold in poor countries, undermining local markets; the fact that the donation centers won't take many perfectly good items and I can't bring myself to throw them away; and not having enough money to replace items if I make a mistake, which I have had to do in the past - and yes, I knew where those items were- I just went by the "haven't used it in over a year" rule and well, people change and don't use something, and then they change back and need it again...

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for opening up and sharing your thoughts!

@lornam3637

2 жыл бұрын

I got over the landfill guilt by going to car boots sales and seeing so much stuff that had clearly been stored in garages unused for decades. Although it is hard to find a good home for things, usually charity shops will be the most responsible place. Those items already exist, left unused in someone's home they are slowly (or quickly) deteriorating and losing usefulness/value. I imagine them with hidden clocks. Try to sell things yourself (be prepared to sell it for any price) or put it on Freecycle. In my experience there is always someone can use something - even cardboard boxes.

@bunnyboo6295

2 жыл бұрын

Wow I feel a bet of the same maybe you can pass down to people directly that may need. or repurpose you can make different things with old cloths

I have things of my grandmothers that remind me of childhood days spent with her and also just what a lovely lady she was. Some really nice handmade linens and things too. Its the last of my clutter that I have hung onto for years. No good reason why except it makes me happier knowing it hasnt just gone to landfill like everything else we donate.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

I totally understand that. Also I appreciate you opening up and sharing. I know others are in similar situations with their sentimental items. One things I’d like to encourage you to try, is repurposing them. Is there a way that you can turn some of those items into decor or functional pieces in your home. This will allow you to use and/or appreciate them more every day!

Guilt. I spent ("wasted") money on something I no longer value or was never really that useful to begin with. Also items given to you by loved ones. When I started the minimalism process one of the first things my mother said to me was "you better NOT get rid of anything I bought you". I took a breath and calmly said, if you will give me a list of the items you bought that you would want back I will gladly set those items aside if they are in fact something I had planned to part with. I started my decluttering now minimalism process 3 years ago, she has yet to identify one item she bought that she would want back.

Absolutely sentimental and "I might need it" are my two biggest reasons!

Simply because of "I want that!" but in the end, it is just an impulsive buying. sad truth for me 🥺

For me it's emotionally exhausting to declutter... each thing, big or small, triggers a memory.... many are bad and some are good... it's a lot to go through.

Watched the video and see that you covered these exact reasons. I now ask myself what do I value more - stuff or space ? fear or freedom? clutter or clarity? When I put more emphasis on what I’m gaining rather than what I’m losing, it makes it easier to let go.

Reason number one: we might need it some time in the future.

@grymbeert

2 жыл бұрын

Just today, I was thinking: do I have only 5 forks? Followed by: do I need more than 5 while living alone 90% of the time?

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

This is good! Thanks for mentioning this. I also enjoyed your comment regarding the forks you own. I think we’ve all had a thought or two like this before.

@grymbeert

2 жыл бұрын

@@RonaldLBanks The process of redecorating and updating my apartment room by room is really helping me to get rid of clutter, while everything has to move anyway. Good example, the flooring in my main living room and the kitchen. Still, I also have some collection-orientated hobbies like books, boardgames and music (cd's and vinyl). They are a considerable challenge as you might imagine. Still, even those collections will have their physical limitations, one way or the other, so I keep that in mind while purposely dedicating every part of the room and house to a certain hobby or activity (preferably both or looking for multiple uses of the same item or space).

This minimalism journey has been brilliant! I de-cluttered my wardrobe and found I have some lovely dresses and jewellery I haven't worn very much. Now I wear them all the time, and sell or donate items that aren't suitable. Soooo much more drawer and hanging space, to the point where I have a single handing frame, and everything else fits in drawers

I personally cannot throw stuff away so if I cannot sell, donate, or gift it, I'd rather hold on to it 🙈 I've made more effort recently to find good homes for my discarded items and the extra work is worth it so I can part with my stuff without feeling guilty.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for opening up and sharing this! I think many of us can relate to this for sure!

@corinna_maybe

2 жыл бұрын

@@RonaldLBanks you're so right that sometimes this reasoning can be an excuse and prolongs the time you're burdened with stuff but I found that the balance for me definitely tips towards anxiety if I don't dispose of my belongings properly/meaningfully. Glad I finally overcame my procrastination to put in extra effort towards finding a good home though :D

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! You have to find that balance that works for you. I’m happy to hear that you overcame your procrastination and I’m excited for your journey ahead. If you ever have any questions don’t hesitate to ask!

@Momma_AL

2 жыл бұрын

Do you live in an apartment complex? If so you can probably leave things in a box or bag near the dumpsters and someone will take it. I do that often with things I can’t sell and next thing I know it’s gone in no time! Or even if you live in a house. Sometimes people leave things out on the sidewalk in front of their house and someone will take it.

@ss-ht6uz

2 жыл бұрын

@@Momma_ALthat is a good idea. I'll try it thanks for sharing

“I can’t. I just can’t. I’m not ready” Obviously emotional attachment, and they’re just little things I really don’t need anymore. It’s definitely something I’ve needed to learn to be patient with. Sometimes I really do need to wait and visit with myself about why. Then letting go is more meaningful. But dang, what a hold up 😅

It’s the scarcity mindset. My grandmother was raised by during the Great Depression and were very poor. They kept everything! My mother and my husband also learned that they need to keep stuff in case they need it and can’t find it again. Spending money was a bad thing, so they kept everything that did the job. “Just in case” was a regular mantra.

Most of us (modernized cultures) live in a world where we are constantly berated by consumer-driven marketing. Make more, be better, buy bigger, etc. Get a raise: upgrade your car, buy a bigger house, go on a vacation, etc. Even if you don't receive a raise - there is always credit (cards) or refinancing, payment plans, layaway, etc. to help people "afford" the things that they "need". It's more of a challenge to fight the constant narrative and say "I don't need that" or "that won't bring joy to my life" than it is to swipe a card and move on to the next instant gratification. Marketing is not a small business and they heavily invest in tactics that successfully make people spend more. Once it's purchased (and not returnable) I think that you enter into more of a psychological rationale, which changes from person to person, as to why someone can't/won't part with the items that they acquire. I believe that if one can focus on reducing the (perceived) desire to acquire unnecessarily, then one can work towards making improvements in letting go and decluttering. If not, it would be very difficult to patch a hole in a dam without shutting off the creek that feeds it.

People keep stuff for the emotional or physical connections, memories, events, to preserve a history of their experiences be it travel, or relationships with themselves, family and friends. People keep stuff because it creates a sense of self, of history, an external expression of their pasts, presents or futures.

Thankful for the youtube algorithm for recommending this channel yesterday. Such high quality videos, such crisp editing, and his voice is so nice to listen to! I've managed to let go of most of my stuff already, but I'm still struggling with the "fantasy self" items mentioned in a previous video

“I may need that one day” or “that will come in useful sometime”

Can’t let go of my things. Emotional or spent so much on them, don’t want to waste money. WOW! After watching the vid I cannot believe you hit the nail on so many levels. Just goes to show this clutter thing is NOT unique. Thank you for another thought provoking video sir.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Feeling like you’re wasting money is a big one. I definitely felt this way back when I decluttered my closet for the first time. I had some many clothes with tags still on them, but I had to realize that the money I spent was gone and keep an item, even though I’d never wear, wouldn’t bring the money back.

@ChantaltheFrency

2 жыл бұрын

Or try to resell thing on second-hand shops (apps). At least you can maybe earn some money back. Or have a garage sell. Just in our own backyard. You can put out Signs. I did the same. I was about to trow away my stuff but I held a "garage sell" still made 100 euro in a few hours. Just my table next to a busy road speak to people and try to sell for a good price. The rest went to charity.

Thank you for your thoughts! You are so on point about "stuff". Keeping, storing, moving, worrying about stuff is a total waste of time. All of us want to have fun, go places, experience things....it ain't happening when you are mired in a pile of stuff.

I am Extremely Grateful to have found your videos Ronald. You resonate with me in a way no one else has. You calm me just hearing you explain your experience with decluttering. I just turned 60 and I am struggling to declutter my home. I think I keep things because “I Like Them”. I have lots of neat things but it is all too much. Also I lost my Mom when I was a young girl. We have a whole line of mother loss- my own mother lost her dad when she was 3 and her mother when she was 8. My Dad lost his mother when he was 14. Of course now I have All the sentimental things in my house and in my life from all these early deaths and people clinging to their things for memories. The sad part is- I never get around to living because I am cluttered in my mind and in my house. I finally had a very difficult surgery and lost 200 pounds of weight brought on by years of trials and not having the ability to move forward. Now that I have lost the weight and have a good therapist on board- I realize that until I am able to become unattached to my stuff- and streamline my life by decluttering- I may miss what my life might be the next few years. I am artistic and want to spend time creating- but if I don’t declutter (even things I really Like) then I won’t have the physical and mental and emotional energy to go from doing good things to better things. Hard to explain. I just know I am at a critical crossroads in my life and unless I am willing to take this path of great resistance like you describe- I will be stuck right where I am. I like the description of insanity which goes something like this, “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting and hoping for a different result.” I am the only one who can make a difference with the remaining years in my life. It is very strange to turn 60 and count on my fingers how many years I might possibly have. I have now lived longer than any of the women in my family. My dad lived to be 76 and so if I live as long as him I have 16 more years to live. I want to make them the best years that I can but in order to do that I am going to have to do things that are difficult. I just hope that in the end it won’t feel difficult anymore and I will be able to be free. Thank you for helping me on my journey. I hope to join you on your paid site at some point. Jalyne in Utah

We keep it for the “potential”. We always imagine those times when it’ll be used and how it would be.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

This is good! The “potential” I like that! Thanks for sharing!

Fear of loss. Fear of not being able to have things in the future. Identifying things with who we are as a person. Attachment to the past. Guilt. Not understanding the purpose of the things that come in and out of our lives.

Fear of regret. No confidence in choices

One mindset I struggle with sometimes is the last one you mentioned, but it's not like I play that mind game with EVERY item in my possession. My closet is kind of a tool that allows me to be creative and expressive, and whenever I get rid of something that I no longer want or find joy in, that pit of doubt is what gets me sometimes if that makes sense lol. The struggle is real 😅

My nice problem to have..is gifts from fabulous friends. I have found comfort from giving them to my favourite charities and I imagine what they will do with the money they make from the item. It makes me happy to think of this rather than an unused gift 🎁 In addition to charity...I have also been enjoying gifting my things to others and telling them if it has a story. In my experience the recipients are loving this (eg scarf bought on holiday....) 😊 Thank you for another brilliant video 🌟

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for opening up and sharing your thoughts. Regifting gifts is a great way to give items new a purpose, especially when you know the recipient will truly enjoy it!

I realized I was using "stuff" to symbolize a relationship vs just pick up the phone or go hang out. Once I realized that, I made some changes and now "stuff" doesn't have a hold on me!

Fear of missing out or fear of not having what someone else has that you don’t

My parents grew up in the Philippines with having more than 6 siblings each in the family. Their parents (my grandparents) couldn’t afford to give them certain things. When we immigrated to the US, we didn’t have much either. We could only bring so much in 2 large suitcases. As I grew up, I noticed my parents taking in items that friends gave them or bought things they never had back in our home country. Our home became packed with things over time. When I was a teen, I suggested to donate the toys and clothes we didn’t need anymore. My mom became furious.. She was upset that I wanted to give away the things she had spent all her hard work on. This then made me take on that mindset that my hard earned money shouldn’t be thrown out. I became emotionally attached to items and now as an adult I have a hard time getting rid of things. I don’t want to blame them for having this mentality but it is definitely something I’m working on. Now just a matter of getting my parents to do the same..

My brother and I were discussing the other day why our 94 year old mum refuses to get rid of anything, even down to empty perfume bottles! We came to the conclusion that her possessions are a comfort blanket, and that she’s afraid of losing her memories. I guess that must be fairly common for people who have reached ultra old age. But of course, everything in her house is so cluttered that she finds it difficult to remember the important things, or even where she’s stashed items. Not sure what the answer is except understanding and love and working slowly to persuade and change attitudes. BTW, love your channel and find it an inspiration.

I started minimalism 14 years ago. The 2 main reasons for keeping things before were to "get my money's worth" and the fear of needing a thing later. What helped me was 1) Letting go of the idea that I was the only person that could use something until it exploded to get my money's worth. If I no longer used it, then passing it on would get that job done. 2) We cannot possibly store everything we will ever need, that is what shops do. So I like to think that they store your things until you pay to take them out of storage. Besides, they have more room and professionals to look after them until we need them.

In the response to "I might need it later." I do have many things I've donated that later I think ohh that would be perfect for right now. A clothing that I would want to wear, or an item that a friend might want to use, but I already gave it away. I found that overall, that feeling lasts for less than a day, sometimes even just a few seconds, whereas the feeling of less clutter and giving away and living every day in a less complicated space is how I feel for 99% of the time. For me that trade-off is so worth it!

The mindset of scarcity, if I get rid of this and need it in the future I will not have the prosperity in the future to purchase needed item . Remember to live in a mindset of abundance and prosperity

Yep, seen couple of this, and it's was the reason for me and steel for most of people near me is "It might be useful in some hypothetical situation" aka "just in case"

“But we have the space”, “ I don’t want to make a decision on this now” are the two reasons my husband uses most. “I might use it/need it again” is usually mine

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing Donna! These are all good ones!

It’s a temporary feeling of satisfaction that makes them feel good. Living in Europe now, I realize Americans are brought up thinking they must consume…

reasons why people, including myself, hold on to so much stuff: 1. these things being filled with emotional value or just some memory and 2. the thought that something's going to be useful, be it now or some moment later

My initial thought was that people keep things out of a fear of wastefulness or because they crave stability and find it in their things. The reasons you listed fall into those two categories. Reasons 1, 2, 4, 5 related to wastefulness and reason 3 relates to stability.

My kids don't understand why I keep giving things away. They're afraid I'm 'giving up on living'. On the contrary, the more I give away, the freer I feel. And I hope one day they'll appreciate not having to make all those burdensome decisions of what to keep and what to discard. 😊

What I have noticed is that when I haven't control over (certain) things in my personal life, I wil keep stuff, buy more things, etc... When I have control over my life, daily things, tasks, etc ,etc, than it's simply like the more stuff I throw away or the less I buy in general... So trough my own experience I think that people keep stuff because than they have something they have control over if things in their personal life are not goes the way they really want.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

This is deep! Thanks for opening up and sharing your experience and thoughts. Definitely believe many people will relate to this!

I was roommates with a buddy of mine who was a ‘packrat’ (it was his house). He had a three car garage filled to the brim with “stuff” he hadn’t used in years, or probably ever would again. Even was storing parts for cars he no longer owned. You could not hope to squeeze a vehicle into the garage. His excuse for keeping all this stuff was, “I might need it someday”.

I have been holding on to sentimental things to pass them on to my kids and grandkids. I have convinced myself that I can’t get these things anymore,at least the quality things. However I have started to get rid of the things that I won’t be giving them and donate those things,what can I say I am a working progress. Keep up the good work ❤️

It's hard for me to get rid of things that I emotionally connect to. A gift, a book I really liked, clothes I wore while creating good memories, etc...

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Emotionally connection can be hard to break but keep in mind that those memories are in you, not the things. Give yourself some grace and let go as you feel comfortable.

When I was younger, I had a distorted sense of how much time we have on this earth. Now, at 60, I'm more realistic about the possibility of, for example, completing two dozen craft projects or reading six bookcases' worth of books before I die.

Security and a belief in 'I might need this later.'

1. They cost money 2. You may need them one day

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Very true! Both of these are quite common and I’m guilty of using them myself in the past. Thanks for sharing!

Love the comment, "there's always a GOOD ENOUGH place."💯💯💯🙌

I always remember what I gave people and I’ve noticed 90% of the time people don’t even use the stuff. Soooo, now I straight up ask what they want so that I don’t waste money, time, energy and feelings lol. Or gift an experience rather than an item.

I think people hold on to their belongings because there is a fear that "famine" or or season of lack will occur. Also, the fact that you never know what you will need to use in the future is a good reason to hold on to so much stuff.

“I’ll use it one day - or someone I know might need it”…..“it’s sentimental/precious”…”I still like it (but not enough to use it/wear it often)”…”I spent good money on it”…….except keeping so much crap costs me mentally, physically, economically, spatially and spiritually so idk why I do it 🤷🏻‍♀️

They don’t want to let their stuff go because they have became a personal warmth.

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Hmm that’s good! Really speaks to the deep connections we create with our stuff.

Whether they know it or not, stuff can be like a hug, keeping them safe and comforted.

Great conversation as always Ron. I would say the most common thing I hear as a professional organizer is “I might need this.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts!😊

Omigosh! I inherited the clutter gene.. I am also a crafter, and I used to (collect) “I can make something with this” items.. but I haven’t made anything with them 😳🤯😱 but when you said “I need to find a good home for it” struck an aha because my mom does that!! She will even put items in her car (to get it out of the house) while she thinks about who (is worthy?) might need it

Once I have more space, I'll be able to use a lot more things that are just getting in the way of the things I want to use now.

I love the ideas you've shared here, Ron!!! Stuff = Stress For me minimalism is reducing the inventory in your home to an amount that you can easily manage.

"I might need it later, if I get rid of it then I will have to buy it again".

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

I hear this one all the time. You’re absolutely right! Thanks for sharing!

"Just in case" and also "sentimental value" are my top two. Sentimental items are the items I have from my mum who passed away a few years back, and also gift I've received from people I love. I don't need 99% of the stuff but it's hard to let go

I just LOVE your videos. Just common sense that we always forget. Your videos are easy to follow and easy to listen too. I always look forward to the next one. I clean up and organize to them. Happy Holidays!!!

I would say a combination of reasons - fear of not having enough, unsure of how to deal with their clutter, greed and wanting to have more than others and keeping things just in case.

Sentimental items is what most people keep, I've struggled with letting go of this category- but I'm learning.

@vidahappy-frugalspanglishv1528

2 жыл бұрын

I have been working on combining frugal living and living minimal... as much as these 2 can go together, I often think I can save items that I can reuse or that I might need in the future... As much as I struggle with those decisions daily, my minimalist journey has been great so far, and beneficial to my life. Great video!👍

Clothing I might wear next summer... art supplies I'm going to use when I have time... sewing projects I'm going to finish someday... the musical instrument I'm going to play when I have time... the backpacking/flyfishing/camping gear I'm sure I'm going to need again... stuff my kid stored in the garage and I am now custodian of... the list goes on and on!

I think the underlying reason for most human behaviours is a need for "control". Controlling a situation in any way diminishes a perceived threat or fear. Possesions and clutter can serve many functions, from safety blankets to distraction tactics to identity definition all in a way to control negative emotions.

attachment is probably my biggest reason. but then again the "i spent money on this" reasoning is also hard because i'm not swimming in cash

Thank Mr. Ronald for the great advices! your voice is truly peaceful.

I feel like hoarding /keeping unnecessary stuff is a very American thing and a very senior citizen thing to do. I think most senior citizens I know (in my area) grew up poor, moved to my city from the country (from the deep Southern USA), so they are well aware of what being poor and not having much is. This made most of them keep almost everything and just about anything. I think it never really entered their minds to get rid of stuff. I live near a lot of senior citizens and there is a lot of excess stuff piled around the outer areas of their houses and inside of some of them. Some reasons could be "I'm saving _______ for my future grandchildren." "I never really thought of getting rid of _____." "I paid too much for ______back in _____." "We might need_____ someday." "We need to do something about this junk sitting around, but______."

@andaminiart4288

2 жыл бұрын

I agree with generation thing, but not with it being 'very American'. I'm from Eastern Europe and it's definitely thing with senior citizens too. I personally know many people who can be described as straight up horders or 'organized' holders in my parents and grandparents generation

Hi everyone! I’ve been a minimalist for years and I still find items I can donate to someone who will use them. Ronald - loved your comment last week about owning up to spending mistakes. 👍🏻

Because I live in an area that has 4 distinct seasons and I NEED things to SURVIVE in very cold weather and ENJOY the warm seasons of the year.

Your discussion on reason number 5 really helped me, what you said is so true

Reason number 6: Fear of missing out. I was a book hoarder until I moved to a city that has one of the finest public libraries in America. Now, I buy the best and checkout the rest.

In my culture & my generation we were expected to keep what is passed down from our elders...I broke that cycle BUT growing up poor I had the mentality of working to get what I always wanted regardless if it was needed... I broke that cycle as well...my family hoards from the "sentimental" reasoning...I call BS on that one cause they value more the book mark I gave them 15 yrs ago but can't be bothered to check on me to see how I am doing....I digress...I on the other hand became a "JUST IN CASE" person for a few yrs...and thankfully 5 yrs ago I broke that cycle too...and after losing possesions to natural disasters I learn not to put sentiments on stuff and I had to learn how to let go and be thankful for what I have left which is myself my health and that of my immediate family....its been hard life lessons that I am grateful for...THANK YOU AGAIN MR. BANKS for always sharing your drops of wisdom 💚🐾

Very thought provoking video, Ron. Thank you !! Hmmmm ... happily I have purged a good amount of stuff over time. But of course, I could STILL do better ! So why do I still keep things ? “I WILL use that juicer ! Or crockpot. Or read that book. Or play my keyboard more often.” Often there are things we have tied up into our Identity ; they are “symbols“ of it, if you will. Or they represent dreams we still have, even if , by not using these things, it shows we are not actively pursuing them. Putting off to “some day” ... “when I have more time “, etc. I do love the decluttering journey, because it does inspire this kind of soul searching regarding our “whys”, and subsequent helpful insights.

These reasons are so true. I sometimes still struggle to let go of things but have gotten much better. My parents have asked for help decluttering things but they struggle a lot to actually let go of things. A lot of their reasons are reasons you stated.

Ugh. How many times I’ve kept “good”/expensive clothes for later that could have benefited someone - only to buy something new to look and feel good. I appreciate your content !

@cassandraknight8804

2 жыл бұрын

Me to

Currently listening to your videos while decluttering. I like the simple and clear tips you provide 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

@RonaldLBanks

2 жыл бұрын

Awesome! I’m glad you’re enjoying them! If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask!

In my case I kept things that I've been collecting for years just because I didn't think about it. Papers, old photos, shoes I didn't wear and so much more. Of course there was the items that I had been mindfully collecting and thought I wanted to keep, but never actually used. I bought antiques for the most part that I thought I would one day use when I got my perfect apartment and when I got it all renovated. The thing is that all those stuff I had been "saving" ended up being put up for sale because I changed along the way. Now I'm just stuck with the furnitures that I Could have sold back when I started to change my style, but ended up keeping them instead just because I couldn't bother with the idea of getting rid of them. We all change and that's good, but often people doesn't get rid of the items during that change. It just keeps building and the pile gets bigger. One might put the items in boxes but they're always there no matter what. Some are also sceptic and think that they might need the thing one day, think it can be useful and can't think about wasting the money one once upon a time payed for it and might pay again someday. Me, I hate getting less than what I payed myself when selling the items. So instead I get other items for free from others, that I can sell, and that way how I see it I can get my money back from the items in full when I do sell the items I once payed alot for, now at a lower price, one day. It evens it out somehow, at least in my head it does. Makes it a little easier.

Sentimentality and or “just in case” scarcity hoarding… that’s why I’ve learned I’ve hoarded things and why I’ve been able to identify and let go!

So true to me- thanks for sharing, great message! And once again: amazing smile :)