when asked "why did you have kids?", my mom always answered "because I cannot afford servants." it wasn't until I was 28 that I realized it was not a joke.

They don’t have families they have “human resources”.

They have children because it's all about their image

Their children are a guaranteed source of supply, especially for triangulation.

Kids are accessories to make them look good.

One of the more mind-bending experiences with my vulnerable narcissist father is to be dismissed and disregarded in private, but to be shown off like a trophy in public.

My narc mom was actually very involved with us as kids. Sometimes they seem like a good mother when you are little. That’s what makes it so jarring when you get older and see who they really are because you can remember how they were when you were little. And then when you get to adolescence and start trying to be independent, that’s when they flip the switch. And now that I know what is wrong with her, I realize she wasn’t a good mother when we were little. It was all for show. “Look how much I take care of them,” but only when she was getting attention for it. When we were little she was able to control everything about our lives, what we wore, what we ate, who our friends were, how our rooms were set up. But once we became teenagers and wanted to wear what we picked out, wanted to put up posters, start dating, etc. she went to crazy town and never came back. Progressive illness. They are happy as long as they have total control over your life.

My father used us for his own validation. He sees us as extensions as himself, so we aren’t allowed to be sad or angry, we have to be happy and perfect all the time.

Because they want someone to love them. And they need people they can manipulate.

The comment section has a broad range of experiences felt at a personal level. My heart goes out to all of us brave souls who survived and are standing up against narcissistic people.

Short answer: for supply!

This is literally me! My parents barely knew I existed when I was younger, unless they needed someone to hit or blame. Now that I'm older, pursuing a good career and my golden child sibling is married, they suddenly expect me to have an actual relationship with them. Not interested. Thanks for the trauma, you jerks 😑

My father called us “investments” and expected a return.

One reason why my parents adopted me (my mom didn't want to screw up her body with pregnancy) is because all of their friends had kids and they weren't invited to any of those kid birthday parties because they didn't have kids. So they wanted to get kids so they had an excuse to go to more parties. (This is not speculation. My parents told me this many times.) --- When narcissists have kids, it's like getting a dog. It's great to show off when people are around but as soon as everyone's gone, it's right back in the dog house.

Just recently moved out of my narc childhood family home.

Narcs become parents because they don't use birth control. Also it is a way to hook & hold on to the other parent.

My dad always complained about me not visiting him enough, but when i did, he would ignore me the whole time me being there🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Narcissist in my life has no concept of what family means . Creating a family requires commitment, dedication, love , responsibility, selflessness and the putting the children first mentality. The narcissist can’t do that because they embody the ultimate symbols of reckless, selfishness, greed, jealousy, and pride ...all the bad qualities that are designed to destroy families. And the worst part , is the narcissist will infect their own children in order to manipulate and turn them against the other parent, all in order to solidify their complete control over our children

They just want to put on a show for public so that they are feed with validation ! They have this fear of being judged by the society and they get married and have children just to show people how “PERFECT” their life is

I think my narcissistic “mother” had children to trap my father and for supply