Why Dating is a Nightmare Nowadays - Elena Taber |

The way we date has gone through a massive transformation in the 21st century. Beauty standards are being challenged.
I discussed all of this and more with my friend ‪@ElenaTaber‬ , a KZreadr based in New York City.
Check out her work here → www.youtube.com/@ElenaTaber/v...
Timestamps:
00:01 Intro
01:02 Hight and Dating16:50 Dating In modern times
27:20 How Relationships around you effect you
32:00 Dating as a Public Person
36:00 Income and Dating
41:00 Being Transparent about Finances
45:10 Gender Roles and Representation on KZread
53:00 How your attitude can reflect your ideas
My newsletter🍦→ www.nathanieldrew.com/newsletter
Instagram → / nathanieldrew_
Listen to the audio version of the podcast → anchor.fm/nobackupplan
My online courses → www.nathanieldrew.com/onlinec...
Patreon → / nathanieldrew
My gear 📷 → www.nathanieldrew.com/my-gear

Пікірлер: 308

  • @jack_edwards
    @jack_edwards Жыл бұрын

    Collaboration of dreams 🫡

  • @Lollerlol12
    @Lollerlol12 Жыл бұрын

    She should come to the Netherlands, she'd blend in easily

  • @MakingitinHolland

    @MakingitinHolland

    Жыл бұрын

    Facts 😂

  • @mitza420

    @mitza420

    Жыл бұрын

    Also in Serbia like people here are insanely tall. Im considered almost short and Im 5'6 girl. I know a lot of tall girls and guys who only date tall girls.

  • @yassirkhay

    @yassirkhay

    Жыл бұрын

    I always wondering, how the tall dutch they fit in those small houses😅

  • @IsraelCervantes-le4gf

    @IsraelCervantes-le4gf

    Жыл бұрын

    If she decides to have children a woman would be tall and find it hard to date but the bright side is both female and male children could be professional Sportspeople.

  • @ashleypaling1951

    @ashleypaling1951

    Жыл бұрын

    @lollerlol12 she’s there right now! And she commented on how much she feels at home 😂

  • @bethanyryan404
    @bethanyryan404 Жыл бұрын

    Such an interesting topic! As I’ve grown in my relationship with my husband I’ve realized more and more that the person I married is so different than the one I’m married to today. Our views on god and religion have changed, our carriers have changed, our hobbies have changed our relationship with money has changed, etc. Almost nothing is the same 15 years later after first meeting each other. And somehow we still love each other so freaking much. Finding a partner and staying with them has so little to do with the things we have on our “check list” and so much more to do with the unexplainable connection you may have with someone and the effort you are both willing to put into the relationship. ❤

  • @mr.badass5292

    @mr.badass5292

    Жыл бұрын

    This is incredible!! I love this!

  • @Sinstat

    @Sinstat

    Жыл бұрын

    God bless you

  • @simplyem.

    @simplyem.

    Жыл бұрын

    this is such a beautiful way to think of relationships, thank you for sharing :)

  • @TheTeeProd

    @TheTeeProd

    Жыл бұрын

    its so funny if after years you edit this comment to inform us that he has been cheating on you this whole time 🤣

  • @coolbreeze5683

    @coolbreeze5683

    Жыл бұрын

    I'm in a similar boat 😊 14 years for my husband and I! It's great you both have deep love for eachother. I believe that soulmates are a very real thing. There's something unexplainable that keeps people together when they're meant to be together. When I met my husband, we were both sure within 2 weeks that we wanted to be together without question.

  • @jessiehernandez1853
    @jessiehernandez1853 Жыл бұрын

    I’m 25 and this is also a constant topic of conversation between my friends and I! You all put it really well, dating is the only area of life where you can’t necessarily “work” towards meeting your ideal match. 2 things I wanted to add: 1) I hate this notion that’s popped up over the years that’s like, “you just gotta focus on your healing and the right person will come” and I feel like that’s true to an extent but you can also be doing all the things to be a better person and understand yourself better (ex. go to therapy) and that perfect match may still not show up, and 2) I like to think that dating apps have provided us the “illusion” of options because in reality how many people on those apps can you find a true, genuine, connection with? 💭Appreciate you all for this episode!!

  • @kyladanae

    @kyladanae

    Жыл бұрын

    I know so many people who have terrible trauma but not healed and that got lucky and met someone who is super supportive. Then they say be confident. Whdn😅I’m super confident I attract narcissists or toxic men. When I’m insecure I put men off I guess. When you meet the rest person none of this matters because no one is perfect. They will accept all of you and your flaws. Like people say stop looking or people say you have to be intentional. I’ve been single for 7 years and I date and I don’t even date my personal preference I’m open minded and I’m still single. I haven’t met anyone that wants to be in a relationship with me. It’s either I don’t like them or they don’t like me. To make it worse I’m not even picky. I guess I’m just an oddball that rarely fits with people so I might never meet someone despite the fact that I attract a lot of people based on my physical looks.

  • @user-xt6cr5dm6l

    @user-xt6cr5dm6l

    Жыл бұрын

    I do agree with you point n1 so much!!

  • @heyem810

    @heyem810

    Жыл бұрын

    I agree with you!! My partner is super supportive and I am very emotional 😅and I was definitely not in the best place in my life when we met lol but our relationship is very healthy

  • @yb32

    @yb32

    Жыл бұрын

    I agree. I haven't been in a serious relationship since 2016 and I've grown and matured a lot since then (also with the help of therapy). And the right person for me has yet to show up. Sometimes that formula just doesn't work.

  • @az6462

    @az6462

    Жыл бұрын

    Thisss 🔥

  • @MaevaBM
    @MaevaBM Жыл бұрын

    I don't understand where we got all confused in the self-development trope about grow yourself first before getting with someone, okay at first it's nice, but like, man, there is a point where keeping out of any love commitment just will keep you in this self bubble of challenges. The amount of personal development that can be done ONLY with being confronted to love emotions and Co-regulation with someone that triggers you is immense. And also, sorry but if I wait to be "self-developed" to commit in love than i close the door to love cause the concept of self-development doesn't come with a "complete" level where your sky becomes pink 🤣 so you are never going to be able to say when is this time actually

  • @solfh

    @solfh

    Жыл бұрын

    Totally agree.. self development is challenged only when meeting someone.. also you might know your boundaries and what you want but no one will be a package for all that, you will need to meddle in a lot of situations and hopefully don’t let the right one slip just because the self love ego sht being taught nowadays make you think that you can’t provide 1 more day in the week to meet someone you like cause you never did that before so you will not change (happened to me recently with a man that said he liked me and wanted to know me and was sad to end but i was asking for 3 days a week to meet instead of his 2, and i told him I would figure out if I could handle 2 cause i was interested in him anyway…. Despite that he ditched me xD honestly I understood why women always cheated on him)

  • @SPNDS1980
    @SPNDS1980 Жыл бұрын

    I am 167cm and my wife is 175cm. We both said before meeting tbat we would never date someone shorter or taller, but love had other plans

  • @user-lt1jd1ye3v

    @user-lt1jd1ye3v

    Жыл бұрын

    Very cute

  • @artxlife7236
    @artxlife7236 Жыл бұрын

    I’ve been single seven years after my last relationship almost killed me. I have such a good life now and such a good relationship with myself that I’m hesitant to try dating again because I’m afraid of risking everything I’ve worked so hard to build.

  • @vklnew9824

    @vklnew9824

    Жыл бұрын

    "Seven year" you're crying over spilt milk

  • @artxlife7236

    @artxlife7236

    Жыл бұрын

    @@vklnew9824 no one is crying….?

  • @ShaniyahPullin

    @ShaniyahPullin

    Ай бұрын

    Girl I feel you 💯! They relationships that almost kill you mentally , emotionally, spiritually and physically! Change you completely! But once you get that self love! You love being alone 💯

  • @esikazemese
    @esikazemese Жыл бұрын

    Also : saying "rather be alone than being with someone for comfort" is a very twentysomething thing to say. Being in a bad relationship just to not be alone is different, but comfort on a long term is absolutely fantastic. Many people pass on great potential partners (for long term!) because they are chasing this romantic movie SPARK.

  • @abbylebaddie

    @abbylebaddie

    Жыл бұрын

    I've been dating someone for over 2 years now and while he's a great partner in a lot of ways it's a struggle to feel romantic towards someone without a spark. I'm contemplating breaking up because we don't have great physical chemistry. Don't discount the importance of attraction and an initial spark. Different people need different things

  • @Melissa-qu4wl

    @Melissa-qu4wl

    Жыл бұрын

    I dont wanna date anyone I dont feel passionate for

  • @Melissa-qu4wl

    @Melissa-qu4wl

    Жыл бұрын

    @@abbylebaddie how do you experience physical intimacy with your partner if there is no spark between you guys? I just cant force myself to kiss or be intimate with anyone when I feel absolutely nothing

  • @abbylebaddie

    @abbylebaddie

    Жыл бұрын

    @@Melissa-qu4wl it's honestly been a problem in my relationship. Considering ending it. Just have to really think it through.

  • @OriginalPhil

    @OriginalPhil

    Жыл бұрын

    @@abbylebaddie That spark doesn’t last forever. Out of curiosity, which compromise sounds more tolerable… trading in partners every time the dopamine rush inevitably ends or sharing a history/kinship with someone your heart will never burn for? Which form of regret would you prefer to live with? It’s a tough one.

  • @whitneykibble7979
    @whitneykibble7979 Жыл бұрын

    Maybe it’s because I’m 36 and a lot of the surface level stuff about dating starts to not matter as much, but the idea of not giving someone a chance because of how tall they are is just baffling to me. Height doesn’t matter when your curled up with someone reading on the porch swing 10 years from now. Looks fade, character doesn’t.

  • @japoc

    @japoc

    Жыл бұрын

    It's about the social status that it represents, just like everything else in today's society. Looks and status matter a lot. Good looks are very important to the majority of young(er) people nowadays. Before also of course, but even more so now with social media, such as Instagram. They don't care about in 10 years on the porch swing, they care about how good the pictures look on their social media profiles today. According to the current standards, it doesn't look as good on social media if the boyfriend is shorter than the girlfriend, it's how it is. Perhaps it'll change one day. Everything's a cycle anyway. But I'd say it's fairly new. I was in high school and college about 10-12 years ago, people didn't care as much about that kind of stuff compared to now. Honestly, it's probably related to social media. Because 10 years ago, social media pretty much didn't exist. Back in school, my friends and I didn't grow up with a phone glued to our hands 24/7 and we didn't care about what people thought about us online... Priorities have switched, a lot.

  • @whitneykibble7979

    @whitneykibble7979

    Жыл бұрын

    @@japocAgreed. I think social media has done a disservice to dating in so many ways.

  • @farid4483

    @farid4483

    Жыл бұрын

    Looks fade through years or other incidents but honestly they do matter a whole lot and we needn't undermine their relevance

  • @mitza420

    @mitza420

    Жыл бұрын

    Ive noticed im more attracted to energy if that makes sense, looks don't matter that much and its really subjective.

  • @whitneykibble7979

    @whitneykibble7979

    Жыл бұрын

    @@mitza420 I’ve had love interests that initially I wasn’t super attracted to but when I got to know them they became the most attractive person I’d ever been around. Someone’s energy, character and vibe can make them so much more “attractive”. I’ve also been with traditional pretty people that were duds on the inside. You just don’t know until you give them a chance.

  • @amandabrandt3471
    @amandabrandt3471 Жыл бұрын

    I'm so happy to hear you both talk about this topic. At some point growing up, I got taller than my mom, and she started complaining about my clothing taking up too much space, my coats and jackets not being elegant enough because of their size, and my shoes looking too large... She grew up being taught to take up as little space as possible and seemed to project that onto me, her daughter. We should take up the space we take up!

  • @samanthaelliott
    @samanthaelliott Жыл бұрын

    So happy you got Elena on the podcast! I loved this episode :)

  • @TwinTwoTimes22
    @TwinTwoTimes22 Жыл бұрын

    Damn, I like this girl a lot. When she said you’re alone in your head for the rest of your life I felt that.

  • @SoniaDoubleG
    @SoniaDoubleG Жыл бұрын

    Really enjoyed how raw and vulnerable this conversation is, great job Nathaniel and Elena❤

  • @norabrice
    @norabrice Жыл бұрын

    It's nice to see you so comfortable. Great chat, thank you 🌻

  • @GlendaSiagian
    @GlendaSiagian Жыл бұрын

    I enjoyed this conversation so much, I played it on repeat already. Thanks guys 👌🏻

  • @oskarsvito
    @oskarsvito Жыл бұрын

    Brilliant to see all the different perspectives, very glad to see this content!

  • @kpacubo.
    @kpacubo. Жыл бұрын

    Loved the conversation! Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us

  • @goaskniki
    @goaskniki Жыл бұрын

    Really loved this chat! both perspectives were really interesting and helpful to hear.

  • @wolves868
    @wolves868 Жыл бұрын

    so so interesting when you asked if you would date someone that checks off the checklist but 5 inches shorter especially because in interpersonal communication someone's appearance gets less and less important as the relationship goes on. it's so nice and refreshing to see someone say yes instead of hell no on the internet.

  • @daydream3281
    @daydream3281 Жыл бұрын

    you guys have such good chemistry!!❤❤

  • @howididthatpodcast
    @howididthatpodcast Жыл бұрын

    Been waiting for this collab, excited to listen!

  • @lynda.grace.14
    @lynda.grace.14 Жыл бұрын

    This has been such a wonderful conversation. Delighted to listen in. Thank you for introducing us to this wonderful woman. I look forward to following her and exploring her content. Similar "On the Couch" might be a new niche for you.

  • @ougoah
    @ougoah Жыл бұрын

    Great conversation! She seems chill.

  • @angelinahubner_coaching
    @angelinahubner_coaching11 ай бұрын

    So inspiring you guys!!! I especially resonated with Elena's words at 22:46 about the loss of empathy and respect through Dating Apps (this is SO true and I thought about that myself very often recently)! So good to hear these thoughts are also having other people not just myself. Thank you guys!

  • @kevinchiu3869
    @kevinchiu3869 Жыл бұрын

    Wow this was such a great conversation! As a mid 20s man in NYC, I relate to the struggles and the complexities of 'finding the one' in metropolitan city where there's just so many options. It's refreshing to hear you ask questions that can be more sensitive like height and finances. Looking forward to more of these chats :)

  • @sabbottart

    @sabbottart

    Жыл бұрын

    NY is a shit show. Notice how the appearance of women changes dramatically between Greenwich Village and Inwood.

  • @karimmanaouil9354

    @karimmanaouil9354

    Жыл бұрын

    Why all Asians in NYC are named Kevin?

  • @taylorjlee
    @taylorjlee Жыл бұрын

    You guys should just date already!!!

  • @shaistaali9802
    @shaistaali9802 Жыл бұрын

    Loved the conversation.

  • @daisyrosario3438
    @daisyrosario3438 Жыл бұрын

    Fantastic interaction you guys!💯

  • @danyiw7178
    @danyiw7178 Жыл бұрын

    Small advice for Nathaniel: ask one question at a time for more clarity.

  • @chiaraA.
    @chiaraA.5 ай бұрын

    So nice to see folks clear eyed about dating - while they're just in their 20's. I'm much older and only now coming to the party on this - I'm arriving at a similar place where we choose to not settle and are at peace and like ourselves and know we cannot be with a partner that cannot enhance our lives, it feels good to be alone, I don't want to ruin it - a potential partner has to have a certain something for me to think it's better than me alone - maybe it exists, possible it may not - and I just won't do something that will diminish me

  • @theverasilva
    @theverasilva11 ай бұрын

    6:38 oh the tall girl lean, I get you girl! I've never actually heard anyone share their experiences being a tall girl like Elena. As a tall girl myself, I appreciate that conversation immensely, thanks both 🥰

  • @jonwhispers
    @jonwhispers Жыл бұрын

    My wife and I are the both 6’1. Wouldn’t change it for anything. Similar struggles in what she wears: Clothes, shoes with the exception of experiences. My wife has had the opposite experience, just pretty normal, with outliers of folks saying she’s tall, or whatever. 10/10 some shorter lady at the grocery store wants something higher than she is. At any rate, Keep strong, find someone that loves you for you and dig deeply into that relationship, no matter what your size.

  • @jordanchou
    @jordanchou Жыл бұрын

    Loved this conversation!! So interesting to hear two unique dating perspectives!

  • @kwamestar
    @kwamestar Жыл бұрын

    This was a great podcast Nathaniel really informative, will definitely comment my experience in dating. You have gained a new subscriber - Elena was great too, she should do more podcasts! Thank you!

  • @wesleylamm
    @wesleylamm Жыл бұрын

    Loved this! Thanks for sharing and keep going with the podcast. Very cool man

  • @hillarykaelomolebatsi4783
    @hillarykaelomolebatsi4783 Жыл бұрын

    Thoroughly enjoyed this

  • @chasingwatersart
    @chasingwatersart Жыл бұрын

    I'm genuinely enjoying this podcast series. Could definitely relate to this one as I'm Elenas height. But so fun to hear from both of the perspectives

  • @lauloretto
    @lauloretto Жыл бұрын

    very good episode! you guys vibe

  • @melvin6228
    @melvin62284 ай бұрын

    People initially are replaceable IMO, because you don't really know them. This goes for myself as well. What makes people initially replaceable is that people are overwhelmed and that no strong connection has been established. The moment I have been on any date where a strong connection was established, the respect was there. In my experience, it usually takes 3 dates for it to become solid enough. If anything happens before that it is not personal by any means, it can't be. That's how I treated my dates (and how I've been treated). I feel it has served me well. Whenever I was ghosted after the first or second date, that was fine, next. However, if after the 3rd date something like that would happen, I'd usually at least ask for an explanation. I always got it, and vice versa. Because people are overwhelmed, the first 3 dates are about establishing that connection, if it doesn't happen then it's just what it is. Move on. I know it can be hard but it is an essential skill. All this assumes that you're going on at least 1 date per week. If you go on less dates then it might be hard to move on. I didn't use to get 1 date per week, I worked a lot on that to make that happen. Around 1 date per week (or more), it's easy to "sift through" the people and find the one you can connect with. Connecting with a person, here's how I do it: (1) I embody my best self, (2) I look playfully at the world and (3) start a conversation. I keep embodying my best self and looking playfully at the world. At a certain point I also use non-violent communication to state what I feel or want to request. It's easier for me to be vulnerable that way. It took about 30 dates. I've been in a happy relationship for about a year now. Also, meditation helps. I went to a retreat from Goenka (10 hours per day for 10 days), and what he specifically teaches about equanimity helped me to not take rejections too harsh. Doing all that, dating wasn't hard. It simply took about 300 to 500 hours of effort. It's not nothing and the difficulty has to be respected, but I've experienced tougher things in my life than simply putting in a few months worth of full-time effort. What IS hard though is when you feel you're not worthy of love. I used to think that way (thinking I'd die a virgin and all that). One of my biggest reasons why no one seemed to notice me is that I looked too seriously at the world - kind of like how I'm writing this post right now. For me, when I started to let my imagination run free and be playful, dating became easier. Initially, that was a huge shift but now I really enjoy talking playful imaginative nonsense all the time.

  • @DSGQR
    @DSGQR Жыл бұрын

    Commenting on someone’s height is simply a conversation starter. That’s it. And height is typically associated with attractiveness and a positive trait which is why people feel comfortable pointing it out.

  • @anoukanouk5595
    @anoukanouk5595 Жыл бұрын

    I am a 1,80 m woman and was that tall since I was 12 years old. Difficult as a young person, not so much now. But still I am surprised, when I turn around and look someone in the eyes not on the top of heads.

  • @annaymous
    @annaymous Жыл бұрын

    I think metropolitan dating is trying to change the landscape of dating as a whole. Meaning people want to be more radical and fluid. People want more of the person than a relationship.

  • @tessior621
    @tessior621 Жыл бұрын

    I love Elena and her content is one of the best on KZread ❤

  • @pawlieblog7967
    @pawlieblog7967 Жыл бұрын

    I always gravitated toward shorter guys or guys my own height, around 5’6”. It doesn’t matter how tall or short anyone is-it really is about the human inside the body box.

  • @morganreed444
    @morganreed444 Жыл бұрын

    Elena is that girl! So thoughtful and intentional with her content and the way she lives her life. Such a thought-provoking and genuine conversation.

  • @chinacetacean
    @chinacetacean Жыл бұрын

    thank you for converting to metric!!!

  • @alitwell
    @alitwell Жыл бұрын

    as someone who is short, i definitely hear "I thought you were taller" when I meet people lmbo Elena you got a whole different type of thang going on but girl I understand

  • @lunaeclipse5768
    @lunaeclipse5768 Жыл бұрын

    Its hard to find authentic person, because thats the one key for healthy relationship.

  • @evindrews
    @evindrews Жыл бұрын

    What an awesome discussion, does anyone know of any podcasts that talk about dating like this?

  • @oliviakrause3336
    @oliviakrause3336 Жыл бұрын

    Oh, I'm excited to watch this, I'm 1,80m, so kinda between the two of you. Add to that being a single mom, gifted and neurodivergent and kinda different in many ways. Nothing wrong with all that, there are just not many people who can relate. Takes an exquisite taste. Both of you are very attractive though, inwardly and outwardly. If someone can't see that, that's their loss. Plus there are taller guys and shorter women, it's not too bad. You're not average, but also not that far off.

  • @coolbreeze5683
    @coolbreeze5683 Жыл бұрын

    People went from treating relationships like character studies to treating them like comic books

  • @user-xt6cr5dm6l
    @user-xt6cr5dm6l Жыл бұрын

    Oh thanks for commenting about being a public person. I just started an Instagram page and it’s true that feels weird to say the word “influencer” specifically guys in France take it so bad. Even worse than in the us. Such a problem.

  • @user-xt6cr5dm6l

    @user-xt6cr5dm6l

    Жыл бұрын

    They prefer someone that has a normal career like doctor lawyer etc accounting consulting. So few people understand the “new jobs”.

  • @rayraystinz
    @rayraystinz Жыл бұрын

    the tall girl lean!! yes, give us our own lingo 💃

  • @Eva-kh7pk
    @Eva-kh7pk Жыл бұрын

    I’m exactly the same height and have 0 comments in daily life. Living in the Netherlands is blissful for tall women 👌

  • @ilanacox9055

    @ilanacox9055

    Жыл бұрын

    i'm 189F from Aus, I moved briefly to NL and YES! NO ONE commented on my height, it was like a holiday ahaha

  • @karator8162
    @karator8162 Жыл бұрын

    Great podcast, great conversation ! Moral of the story : stop dating apps and talk to people irl. Thats it hehe

  • @saraazizam4519
    @saraazizam4519 Жыл бұрын

    I am 5ft8 and people also always comment my height but I take it as a compliment why care about its Beautyfuk being tall her height is stunning and she is beautiful ❤

  • @elenamunari6352
    @elenamunari6352 Жыл бұрын

    Hi from a fellow 6‘1 tall Elena! Love from Italy x

  • @helloryantanaka
    @helloryantanaka Жыл бұрын

    Nice episode

  • @JT-mr3db
    @JT-mr3db Жыл бұрын

    12:35 We have more avenues in which to find people but those of us that truly have options on these mediums are most women and the attractive male elite. It's pretty remarkable how invisible the vast majority of men are on dating apps. I much prefer meeting women in IRL as it's way too easy to treat people on dating apps like their a t-shirt you're buying online.

  • @marja914
    @marja914 Жыл бұрын

    In the Netherlands the average height of men is over 6.1.

  • @chrisbrandt9334
    @chrisbrandt93349 ай бұрын

    I love a short king ❤

  • @talhacreates4944
    @talhacreates4944 Жыл бұрын

    I'd honestly LOVE dating a taller woman. Idk what it is but they are so incredibly attractive and basketball players for kids is a plus lol

  • @HarmonicPolyphonic
    @HarmonicPolyphonic Жыл бұрын

    I'm 6ft (182 cm) and can relate to the first comment always being about my height haha! I wear heeled boots most days though. I realised I would get comments regardless of whether or not I wore a short heel so just embraced what I feel best in.

  • @marinamorais369

    @marinamorais369

    Жыл бұрын

    YOU GO!!!!

  • @abhijithis9424
    @abhijithis9424 Жыл бұрын

    Let's take a moment to zoom in on Nathan's biceps and triceps

  • @youngluca9112
    @youngluca9112 Жыл бұрын

    I am 6‘6 and a good guy….so Elena you wanna come to germany for a coffee date? :D

  • @james1327
    @james1327 Жыл бұрын

    I’m about 6’6 and I thought tall girls would be a great and easy match but they seemed aloof. However short girls leaned in hard. My wife is 5’3.

  • @marquamfurniture
    @marquamfurniture Жыл бұрын

    There ARE (plural) FEWER (countable) options...etc.

  • @hillarykaelomolebatsi4783
    @hillarykaelomolebatsi4783 Жыл бұрын

    I am 6.1 and gay. People always think I consider height but funny enough I don’t consider a lot of stuff like ethnicity… I don’t know am a bit flexible on religion but I guess my limits haven’t been tested

  • @ilanacox9055
    @ilanacox9055 Жыл бұрын

    Elenaaa I see you i'm 189cm and female. when people tell me i'm tall i want to tell them to fuck off :) makes me bored people being so predictable and only seeing this one feature of me. but i'd also add that I've realised that it doesn't actually stop me from achieving / doing things i could/would if i was shorter.. so it doesn't impact my life so much anymore. thanks for chatting about this x

  • @miajulio1702
    @miajulio1702 Жыл бұрын

    Interesting topic 😊 my husband and I have talked about this a lot! I am 6’1 as well, and my husband is 5’4. We definitely had our fair share of hight related experiences.

  • @gabriellas

    @gabriellas

    Жыл бұрын

    now this is a height difference

  • @DAMfoxygrampa

    @DAMfoxygrampa

    Жыл бұрын

    That's a fascinating combo

  • @thrivepodcast2623

    @thrivepodcast2623

    Жыл бұрын

    I looove it

  • @RationalNon-conformist
    @RationalNon-conformist4 ай бұрын

    And women think they’re too tall when they’re 5’8! My parent thought I was going to be very tall, as I was tall as a child.. but I ended up being 5’6. I think I skipped a growth spurt or something.. I did have lots of stress as a child and this may have something to do with it. But I’m happy with my height now. I feel for her, imagine being so tall that everyone looks at you.

  • @AA-jk9dg
    @AA-jk9dg Жыл бұрын

    Great talk! I’m a hermit 😅

  • @i123456987654
    @i123456987654 Жыл бұрын

    lol i see georgia o keefe's paintings at the national gallery of art on a weekly basis...i see her art all the time basically

  • @samrat747
    @samrat74711 ай бұрын

    How great is love how little I am The silence of the night? Let the clean breeze convey To you my heart's every beat and affection. Are you fondling my face in your memory? That image Is no longer my own, for Sorrow has dropped his Shadow on my happy countenance of the past. Sobs have withered my eyes which reflected your beauty And dried my lips which you sweetened with kisses. Where are you, my beloved? Do you hear my weeping From beyond the ocean? Do you understand my need? Do you know the greatness of my patience? Is there any spirit in the air capable of conveying To you the breath of this dying youth? Is there any Secret communication between angels that will carry to You my complaint? Where are you, my beautiful star? The obscurity of life Has cast me upon its bosom; sorrow has conquered me. Sail your smile into the air; it will reach and enliven me! Breathe your fragrance into the air; it will sustain me! Where are you, me beloved? Oh, how great is Love! And how little am I!

  • @klw9516
    @klw9516 Жыл бұрын

    I am a 5'1 girl and people tell me ALL THE TIME that I'm short. So you definitely get it on both ends. Maybe they just don't tell you that you're short because you're a man

  • @skinnyguy7773

    @skinnyguy7773

    Жыл бұрын

    Height in this convo was brought with regards to dating. You are utterly delusional if you think a 5'1 man has the same chances at love as a 5'1 girl, all things being equal.

  • @klw9516

    @klw9516

    Жыл бұрын

    @@skinnyguy7773 They said that people never go up to you and say you're short if you're short the same way they tell people they are tall. I'm saying that people ALWAYS come up and tell me i'm short....... I never said it makes it harder or easier in regards to dating. I'm just saying that people do tell short people they are short.

  • @TheNkkalita
    @TheNkkalita Жыл бұрын

    What I understand later in the podcast that, whatever a girl bluffing for hours about anything, in the end she’s a girl and she’s gonna stick to her basic instincts. And as A Man I better know them, and for my part I should act and behave as a successful Man now or in the future. With love brothers ❤

  • @shavaizahmed9210
    @shavaizahmed9210 Жыл бұрын

    I am 189 cm guy. And nobody says to me I am tall or too tall 😂. It is about 6 foot 2 inches. Be proud of your height, hopefully you find someone on your eye level.

  • @talhacreates4944

    @talhacreates4944

    Жыл бұрын

    You're objectively tall especially depending on what country you're from. But I guarantee people particularly women will have looked at you and thought damn. That guy is tall

  • @andrewjones9018

    @andrewjones9018

    Жыл бұрын

    Well for a guy that is a good height. It's preferable to being average or below average for most women. They say being tall is unfavorable for women but I don't think so. A short guy is at a major disadvantage for dating whereas tall girls can usually get taller guys. Also 6'2" isn't the male equivalent of her height. If she were a man she'd be around 6'7" (2 meters).

  • @ilanacox9055

    @ilanacox9055

    Жыл бұрын

    i'm this height as a female. obviously it's normal for you as a man... i have had the same experiences as elena

  • @talhacreates4944

    @talhacreates4944

    Жыл бұрын

    @@ilanacox9055 out of interest, what's your cut off point for a guy to be with you? In terms of height

  • @wadya
    @wadya11 ай бұрын

    Wow those must be heavy mics to hold.

  • @jh6673
    @jh667310 ай бұрын

    1:20 6:01 12:21 21:10 23:58 25:56 29:30 51:40

  • @annarosenboim968
    @annarosenboim968 Жыл бұрын

    Hey, in Holland you will feel short!

  • @user-lt1jd1ye3v
    @user-lt1jd1ye3v Жыл бұрын

    She's so right about, "How did our parents do it?" I wonder this about all boomer relationships

  • @cevanille1104

    @cevanille1104

    Жыл бұрын

    No online porn, no dating apps, no social media, no cellphones...

  • @daryl9799

    @daryl9799

    Жыл бұрын

    Divorce was frowned about then some were happy but I think alot of people were miserable and just tolerated people because that was the norm.

  • @daveforz
    @daveforz Жыл бұрын

    As a short king tall women are dope yo

  • @skinnyguy7773

    @skinnyguy7773

    Жыл бұрын

    you will never hear them say that about you, not sure why you see the need to validate them further.

  • @Abc-px3rm
    @Abc-px3rm Жыл бұрын

    Honestly, I'd love to date her. I'm 6'2 and height of a girl doesn't really bothers me

  • @doorsfan173
    @doorsfan173 Жыл бұрын

    When did height return to being SUCH a big deal? I'm 28 and I've been in a relationship for almost 7 years and because I'm above-average height, I concede that it is not something I ever needed to worry about. That said, it feels like height as it relates to dating is SO much more in the cultural zeitgeist again in recent years. Has social media and dating apps made dating more vain? Feels like there's been some regression in dating culture tbh. It also feels like this has become a huge preoccupation for the cohort slightly younger than myself and it seems like something that is a big deal on the dating apps based on what I've seen in online conversations, screenshots, friend experiences, etc. Very weird, and insanely arbitrary. Height could not mean less about the quality of a person, or even their attractiveness IMO. This makes me feel like such an old man lol.

  • @newenergymagic5271

    @newenergymagic5271

    11 ай бұрын

    Height is just an excuse. Social media has made some people super shallow. I wouldn’t want to date someone whose whole career is focused on talking about themselves and their achievements and looking for validation from strangers.

  • @xtinabay
    @xtinabay Жыл бұрын

    Look... people want what they want... You can rationalize it all you want, but 95% of the time, the person knows within the first 5 min if someone is a compatible romantic partner. 1. She's not into you because you are wayyy too short for HER. 2. As much emphasis we want to place on "personality", the initial thing that gets you in is physical attraction

  • @jicalzad
    @jicalzad Жыл бұрын

    I guess for a female it can be perceived as odd to be taller than average; however, if one had the choice of being significantly taller or significantly shorter than average, i would say there's probably more advantages than being significantly taller than average.

  • @Sam-hy1om
    @Sam-hy1om Жыл бұрын

    if you go looking for something, youre not gonna find it. have a hobby, share experiences with girls, and youll fall in love with someone eventually. anytime u try to force love thru a dating app or something, youre not gonna find it

  • @vklnew9824

    @vklnew9824

    Жыл бұрын

    No such thing as "love", 21st century humans are wastrel.

  • @Krelian4400

    @Krelian4400

    Жыл бұрын

    Not even remotely true

  • @yobigolemomma

    @yobigolemomma

    6 ай бұрын

    ok

  • @TotalRookie_LV
    @TotalRookie_LV10 ай бұрын

    I was 182,5cm (something like 5'11", almost 6'), but lately I'm shrinking due to age, so now I'm closer to 180cm, I think. So even at my tallest I was some 2,5-3cm shorter than Elena. I don't think it really matters that much to me, sure, all ladies I've were shorter than me, but that's just statistics, not my choice. According to stats I live in the country with world's tallest women on average, but that's just average - 169.8cm (5'7"), could be both shorter or taller, of course, there are ladies even among my relatives, who are noticeably taller than me. A couple of years ago saw a girl on local cosplay event, she was REALLY tall (not sure, but could have been 190cm or above), but very, very proportional, not with that long horse face, that some supermodels have, or weirdly elongated limbs. To my own surprise I suddenly turned into... a groupie, I guess. I can't explain why, but she seemed extremely attractive to me. At least I was not squealing. 🤣

  • @macroxela
    @macroxela11 ай бұрын

    2:51 technically true but as someone who is also 5'6" and lived both in the US and multiple countries in Europe, that hasn't been my experience. I've always felt that I'm of average height. Half of the people I see are taller and half are shorter.

  • @thevahandbook
    @thevahandbook Жыл бұрын

    (It woud be fewer options, not less) x

  • @rublo1
    @rublo1 Жыл бұрын

    Can you talk about age difference?

  • @gpettey19
    @gpettey19 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you, Elena, for your work - your advocacy and representation for women, women’s issues, and women’s perspectives matters. Including on this podcast! 🫶

  • @gpettey19

    @gpettey19

    Жыл бұрын

    Also, I just finished On All Fronts after seeing it in one of your vlogs. SO good - five stars from me!! @ElenaTaber

  • @DavinaShefet
    @DavinaShefet Жыл бұрын

    It would be so cool to have purple palace on the podcast

  • @queenofsleep9552
    @queenofsleep9552 Жыл бұрын

    I LOVE this episode! I‘m 6‘2 myself and always felt like I was too tall

  • @YouNoob573

    @YouNoob573

    Жыл бұрын

    why

  • @igopirko

    @igopirko

    11 ай бұрын

    Im 6'5 , i cannot find tall girl , at least 6ft. Also nightmare

  • @besma-hl8bh
    @besma-hl8bh Жыл бұрын

    Lowkey shipping these two here

  • @allofmylights
    @allofmylights8 ай бұрын

    Thank you for using centimeters.

  • @Atombender
    @Atombender Жыл бұрын

    Elena is gorgeous, the only people feeling insecure about her height are shorter men.

  • @Billybobthor
    @Billybobthor Жыл бұрын

    25:50 “That’s what dating apps don’t show you.” And yet she thinks he is too short for her to date.

  • @Amphitera

    @Amphitera

    Жыл бұрын

    she isn't wrong. you wouldn't pair a poodle with a bernhardiner either.

  • @nicholasnewman4572
    @nicholasnewman4572 Жыл бұрын

    why everyone of your videos have those green and purple bar at the top? and generally looks distorted?

  • @Miguel.Garcia
    @Miguel.Garcia Жыл бұрын

    Who do you all think has it tougher socially for short men or tall women?

  • @synewparadigm

    @synewparadigm

    Жыл бұрын

    Short man