Oh man. My mom had lots of abusive boyfriends while I was growing up and it was hell. I pray nothing bad happens to those girls.

@FreeSpirit47

8 ай бұрын

WOW! I'm sorry you went through that. The way I handled dating post-divorce was that I kept it completely separate from my children. The only way I would have let any of my kiddos meet someone I had dated is if he and I were getting serious & were going to start planning a wedding. Thankfully, that situation didn't happen. Even if it did, the guy would have to accept that my children had higher priority than him until they were out on their own. Same goes if the guy had minor children, I would happily accept that his children would have higher priority than me until they were no longer minors.

Yes, that “man” should NEVER be alone with the 18 & 11 year old. None of the daughters. Period!!! Women!!! Wake up!!! Do not let men you are dating… even more so ones with a past history… around your children alone. NEVER. The children deserve to feel safe and be safe.

@beastshawnee

2 ай бұрын

Never leave any child alone with any post-pubescent male-ever! Ever! Not alone!

@carriebell3566

Ай бұрын

And even pubescent…

The first social anxiety episode was spot on for me. It was good to listen to.

My husband is very self conscious. When his parents lost their place..we let his mom stay with us for a bit. It was then I realized his mom made random under handed comments met to poke at him. I don't even think my husband realizes it...

My parents were social. The rest of my family has no problem socializing but I don’t have any friends due to severe social anxiety. I had no one critiquing me. A lot of times when I do go out I wish that I was home. No idea why

@katelyndefreitas2810

8 ай бұрын

Same

@hansonallie

8 ай бұрын

Same here! & when I do force myself to do something I’m anxious about, I want to do it even LESS the next time! 😅

@Murphyyoutube1

8 ай бұрын

Same but therapy is helping

@edf18

8 ай бұрын

Could be because you were used to others being around because of family capacity for social skills but being on your own makes it more apparent that these were skills that you have to build yourself.

@cristianduran4391

8 ай бұрын

Same here😢

Once you realize that other people's opinions basically have very little value and also practice really enjoying your own company, you stop caring what people think. For me, you pretty much have to be God for me to care what you think. I'm not Christian but if you are, you know, or at least you should know if you read your Bible, that you're gonna be hated and have problems with relationships because you follow Jesus, so stop worrying about pleasing people. Anyway, I'm not a social person but I have a huge business network because I know how to connect with people easily. The key, when meeting people, is to make them the star of the show. Get excited about the things they're interested in or are passionate about. Ask questions ("what do you like to do for fun?" "What kinda stuff are your kids into these days?"). Listen and ask more questions that dig further into the details that they share. Identify what is unique about them and affirm them with positive statements based on what they've told you ("You've had some really interesting experiences!" "You seem like a very diverse person!" "Your kid sounds pretty cutting-edge!"). Use your listening skills to try to pick up on the values that are important to them or the things they take pride in and affirm that stuff ('"you seem to have a great work ethic--that's hard to find these days. I hope your boss appreciates you!) When you make people feel good and seen, they want to be around you.... sometimes too much. But also, be an interesting person yourself. Have unique hobbies or experiences that you can discuss, if asked. Use an interesting vocabulary. Also, be a Connector meaning, help people you meet make connections with other people you know who may be of service to them in some way. The great thing about having a large network is that when someone needs a service, I can pretty much always make a recommendation and that makes me a valuable contact both to that person and the person I'm sending them to. When you try to connect with people from a place of wanting to get your needs met, people can subconsciously pick up on the fact that you want something from them. But when you're satisfied with your own company and enter social situations from a place of, "I'm here to create a good experience for others," people won't be able to get enough of you.

@brightpage1020

8 ай бұрын

Fantastic advice. Thanks! Next time you might get more people to read it if you break it up into smaller, more visually digestable paragraphs. Said the copywriter who too often says too much, too fast in exactly the same way and then feels embarrassed and ashamed of the way it reads onscreen. Dho! Walls of text happen, Dude. But they don't have to stop people from listening to your valuable content, here. We are capable of editing and you are worth the effort. Cheers to your continued success!

@auemmjee

8 ай бұрын

​​@@brightpage1020As someone who gets paid about $200/hour to give advice, when I give it for free, it's a gift and I don't care much about how it's presented. But as someone with a degree in Public Relations and a couple dozen graduate-level 'A' papers under my belt, I do know the technical aspects of writing and own several books on the topic. I appreciate where you're coming from, tho.

@princessofcentralasia1244

8 ай бұрын

Great advice!

@kathyrmatthews

8 ай бұрын

​@@brightpage1020 Your advice is undercut by the number of errors you made and by how difficult your comment was to read because it was so broken up into unnecessary paragraphs. I had zero trouble with the block of text you were trying to critique.

@lindawinters6285

3 ай бұрын

KathyMatthews : You SAID IT, what I was thinking … lol Blessings!

John, i NEED to know the two things that were shared with you. I NEED my switch to be reset for permanent weight loss!

Sounds like Robert is scared that they will find out how much he doesn’t like himself. Praying for his recovery.

Can I just say, I love everyone in the booth! Great team there behind you ❤❤❤

Addressing the Life Of Loneliness. It’s because people have portrayed their fake perfect lives on social media and if they tell the people they call their friends then everything they’ve been posting is a big fat lie…..that’s issue!

@girlygirl1890

7 ай бұрын

You hit the nail on the head. I 100% agree! Fake Perfect lives...yes, that sums it up.

Oh! I'm waiting for this one!

Exactly the topic I need to hear today!

Kelly, I’d like to write, count your calories, every one of them until you get to your goal weight. It’ll force you to be pickier about your foods because you can go farther on quantity to calories, which is also upping your quality, bonus! I was terrified of counting calories and did intermittent fasting for 3.5 years in between having kids and trying to lose all the baby weight, which was good for its own purpose but kept me at around 180 (I’m 5’8”). Calorie counting is the only way I have been able to get to my goal in a realistic way. Also take advantage of outside walks for all the reasons. Best of luck!! Also you look great now!! But as you know it’s important to really feel optimal!

So Kelly. Screw CANCER!!! Glad you beat it ❤

Excellent program 👏 👏🕊

So many counselors give the advice that after the end of a romantic relationship, give yourself a little time, then, get back out there. Equally, it's preached that everyone needs other people, having friends & family is essential to a person's happiness, to their overall well-being. Most of what Dr John Delony says & advises, I agree with. The idea that all people have to have other people, to be happy & healthy. Mentally, emotionally, maybe even spiritually healthy as well as happy. Whole heartedly, I disagree. Having seen the anxiety, depression, sadness that other people go through just trying to connect, trying to fit with what the world tells them they must be, to fit in, to be "normal." On that same idea, the world tells people that if they aren't coupled up or stay single for a few years after a breakup or divorce, that there must be something wrong with them. It causes many people to get into a relationship out of fear, loneliness or trying to fit in. When a person allows themselves to adjust to being single, living alone, being with their own company until they have adjusted so well that they are just as happy alone as they would be, with someone else. Fighting the adjustment only creates more fear, loneliness, sadness, anxiety, depression. Just as counselors advise people to let themselves adjust to a new job or new home or new baby or new relationship, adjusting to being alone is critical to positive mental/emotional/physical/spiritual health. Adjusting to being alone can prevent a person from accepting a person into their life out of fear, loneliness, wanting to fit in. Being just as happy with or without another person also make a person healthier if a new romantic relationship does occur. Having made this discovery (I'm sure other people have discovered the same thing) when the male I was married to, beat me just one time, made sure, as sure as I could, that I would keep myself out of any situation where he could do it, again. I had always shared living quarters with other people, it was the very first time I was living completely alone. Experiencing the shitshow that dating had become, being so lonely so fearful that I'm sure the scammers could smell it rolling off me. As much as I WANTED the romance scammers & fukboys to be real, to truly want to get to know me, I KNEW it was all just lies, lies & more lies. That was when I decided to allow myself to being alone, to living alone. Let myself adjust until I was completely comfortable being alone. More than just comfortable, I was happier, more at peace than I had ever been in my life. Instead of wasting my time on dating or trying to make new friends, I volunteered my time when I could, to help others. I began a new career that I love, working as much as possible to build my investment portfolio. I knocked out the debt I was saddled with from the divorce. Being debt free, paying cash for a nice car was great! Also, I helped a few people in the town where I live. I did babysitting for free for 2 different single moms & one single dad so they could have some time for themselves. Although house cleaning is low on my list of likes, I cleaned a couple of people's homes for free. Just to help them. Also, I started working out more, it felt so good to put some muscle on, making me feel stronger with more energy. I still dated from time to time. Then, in 2012, it felt like it was more of a waste of time than anything, so, I stopped. Too many guys expect sex as part of dating, most of them disappeared when I told them that while I was pushing to get married, I would only have sexual relations with someone I was married to. Only a few guys stuck around after I told them that. When they saw I was serious about sticking to it, the ones that had stuck around did the immature little boy ghosting thing. I was fine with it because I was happy with or without them. Knowing what I bring to the table, I'm fine eating alone.

@flashthecorgi2053

8 ай бұрын

Solitude is good, loneliness is terrible. Lonliness is when you don’t have anyone to call if you or your family has to be rushed to the hospital. Intentional practices of being alone is good and John always says that hence why he mentions he’s a introvert. You do have to have a tribe to be well that’s simple neuroscience though!

@ashleenicole71

8 ай бұрын

You made a great point. I agree a lot with him.. but when he talks about friends.. I'm a bit.. eh.. idk. But it's already a reflection of my own trust issues. I think if I'm going to make an effort for friends...I'd do it with less people vs more..

@reesa1426

8 ай бұрын

I agree with you! There are pros and cons with both marriage and remaining single. Your giving nature along with setting goals and achieving them fills you up! So that is very healthy also! The Bible states “that there is more happiness in giving than in receiving “….so in my opinion as long as we have friends or work where we can connect and give back we can be JUST FINE. I THINK introverts have an easier time living single than extroverts for sure… extroverts NEED people way more to feel energized and alive….Not so with the introverts…John may talk about being an introvert but he is either in the middle of the spectrum or a full on extrovert .. with as much as he talks about needing people in his life he can’t truly be an introvert IMO. We are all different with different needs and do not all fit in one box to be healthy and content.

@FreeSpirit47

8 ай бұрын

@@flashthecorgi2053 From your comment, it seems that you feel a need to have a "tribe." Not everyone does.

@flashthecorgi2053

8 ай бұрын

@@FreeSpirit47 No it’s not me feeling the need it’s actual neuroscience. If your body detects you have no one to call in an emergency it can be more damaging than smoking. You’re welcome to die young but it’s not my opinion, not Dr. D’s opinion, it’s neuroscience. Also, again solitude (the intentional practice of being alone) is different than loneliness. Just make sure you have someone to call in a emergency!

You have such a beautiful heart. Love your vids!

My best advice for weight loss is to count calories, but think of your calories like money on a budget - if you're on a 1500 calorie per day plan, then when you're really wanting to buy french fries, you can ask yourself if thise fries are really worth one third of your entire day's budget or not. When you can place a monetary sort of value on it, it makes it easier to talk yourself out of small high-calorie treats and into large lower calorie meals. 😊

@beastshawnee

2 ай бұрын

no. just no. Get on carnivore.

Thank you... So much.

Interesting solution. I have always had this anxiety and still do. For me its the randomness of social interaction. Constantly worrying about what the other person will say next and how should I respond. Compound this worry with interacting with another person who also has this disfunction. And by the time the conversation is over, I am mentally exhausted. Its just not worth dealing with people. In the end, Im worried I will be judged as stupid or strange. Im college educated and work in financial sales. I know thats not true, but the fear is still there.

Great song for the show ending song. 😂 great show. Thank you so much. I can’t wait to get started on my non anxious life. Will be arriving tomorrow, we’ll tonight at midnight. I’m getting it on audible. ❤❤❤

Great convo going into Halloween party season.

Dr. John, please talk more about weight loss; tell me what you know. I’m struggling to reduce the pounds. Thank you!

One piece of advice, do your workouts first thing in the morning. Otherwise you spend the entire day trying to talk yourself out of working out. Do it early and knock it out and be done with it!

Man I feel this and sadly am starting to do this with my family and kids, I really want to stop, like yesterday, because I also love people and friends and family.

Nothing shallow about these goals !

Mom is a dodo bird. Two restraining orders = a 3rd if mom breaks up with him😳 18yo should stay to protect 11yo🤔 There's 5kids. Where are the other two❓️ Why is the front door unlocked for ANYONE❓️😳😨THAT'S DANGEROUS❗️

SA is the worst because even when you try to be “perfect” someone will point out a flaw which reinforces the idea

My God Nate, SPEAK!!!!

Not Betterhelp again? 🤔 xx

What helped me to overcome social anxiety - bamboo silica. Detox.

Me too!! I can just look at poison ivy and get it!!

Walking into a house w young girls/ women? Esp in the age of cel phones? A phone call would tell him if the woman he's dating is home. So weird. I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to sleep w one of those girls and is trying to push boundaries to get there. Also, you walk into a house uninvited, they tell u to go away, and you get mad? Wtf

BUT YAH KNO, THESE WOMEN WILL CHOOSE THEIR S.O., OVER THERE KIDS AND THE SAFTETY OF THEIR KIDS

@tinam761

8 ай бұрын

Sometimes they do … she is being manipulated…

My guess he has shame about his sexuality. I don't know why that would be an issue at this point in time, but he needs to get comfortable with himself before he can get comfortable being in the world.

Lotta good content... But "you can't prepare mentally"? What? You prepare mentally before anything of high stakes. A conversation. A fight... Youve preached as much before... I appreciate your... Kind demeanor, you seem kind. Idk you... But this is just blatantly wrong and should be corrected. People in hard to deal with situations, MUST prepare mentally. Its imperative...

Go Cowboys! Patiots have sucked for the past 20 years.

@noahdeets9965

8 ай бұрын

Yeah 7 championships in the past twenty years. Yeah they suck….

@SaystheTruth3

8 ай бұрын

Lol Cowboys suck! Go Eagles!!🎉💚🙌

You just make ex. Room in you home

The female gender pay attention and learn from this Man.

@ryanarmenian9806

8 ай бұрын

Men built the world we live in 🔥

@auemmjee

8 ай бұрын

Stop being obsessed with women and you'll be a lot happier

@flashthecorgi2053

8 ай бұрын

Learning from John has absolutely changed my life for the better so I’ll gladly take your advice. I love Delony!

@dabd8175

8 ай бұрын

@@flashthecorgi2053 🔥