Get your exclusive NordVPN deal here ➼ nordvpn.com/bryony It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee!

@macywebster1434

10 ай бұрын

First I want to say I love your videos smm they make me so happy 🫶 anywayss 15:40 I'm a Christian Feminist and I want to point out that in the bible, Jesus while on earth mentions countless times that woman are equal to men. evidenceeeee: Galatians 3:28: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Genesis 1:27: "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them". They were given equal tasks of ruling and subduing all creatures (Genesis 1:28). Romans 2:11: "For God does not show favoritism"

@fawnchaer

10 ай бұрын

Jesus bless you

@thybatonma8378

9 ай бұрын

The example you used for Steam to get cheaper games using a VPN is prohibited by their policy. This could easily get your account banned.

@elizabethc5149

9 ай бұрын

🦋

@HKatgreen

7 ай бұрын

Is Rechel Zeigler as bad as she is made out to be ? Was she coached or encouraged.... then left to promote what Disney thought would make a good new take on Snow White? Or was it just her? You look deep and no mater what she is hurting. No take in this but I watch you and had threse thoughts.

Men calling Margot Robbie mid now that she's 33, extremely successful in her career and using her voice to empower women just sounds like some projection. They sure loved her when all her roles were about being a pretty doll accessory to the male protagonist, huh.

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

No, no we didn’t. She has never not been mid. Bisexual women who cosplay as Harley Quinn were her only actual fans.

@funkydancingman3556

10 ай бұрын

​@@jaysontadlock1871 you've commented angrily on this video 17 times it's giving obsession

@laurentsaint-laurent3659

10 ай бұрын

I might be wrong but I think it was just one random guy & even rightwingers disagreed & made fun of him..

@AutomaticDuck300

10 ай бұрын

In terms of looks, she's always been slightly above average. Nothing amazing.

@PixieoftheWood

10 ай бұрын

@@AutomaticDuck300 If you think she's only 'slightly above average', what's the 'average' you're basing it on? Have you seen real women in the real world, or is your sample size exclusively women in movies?

As an Arab girl I find it hilarious (if not tragic) that Western women don’t realise how privileged it is to be able to take an anti-feminist stance.

@CaptainBones222

6 ай бұрын

Considering how bad feminism has become in the west, it makes sense to be anti-feminist. If anything, it's the opposite. It is privileged for them to call themselves feminists because women nowadays don't have large problems affecting them today.

@user-nr8px6gp2n

6 ай бұрын

same thing about western queers with their 'ironic' homophobia

@ErutaniaRose

4 ай бұрын

This.

@giselletorres4156

4 ай бұрын

The saddest part is right wing twitter tends to tokenize the anti-feminist Arab girls and male-centered latina, black, and asian women to make feminism as a "fragile white woman" problem or mock feminism as a whole. And when there has been evidence of feminist movements in Asia, Africa, Latin America, it's dismissed of being "influenced by the west".

I teach Sociology to 13-18 year olds and discuss topics such as Marxism, Critical race theory and Feminism (amongst many others). The only one that gets a backlash almost every year is feminism because of assumptions that it is man hating

@JohnDoe-nm5le

10 ай бұрын

No Locke or Voltaire anymore? Unlucky.

@sarapocorn

10 ай бұрын

@@JohnDoe-nm5lereading comprehension bud.

@humansmayglow

10 ай бұрын

@@sarapocorn Philosophy will have those guys, and there's some of that in sociology. No need to be rude.

@AnimatorBlake

10 ай бұрын

​@@CordeliaWagnerIt's a 40 year old concept and legal framing which holds the premise that race is entirely a social construct and that not only is racism caused by individuals discriminating, but that it is ingrained in and perpetuated by institutions.

@Gail9276

10 ай бұрын

🦋

I remember when Dolly Parton was asked in an interview if she was a feminist, and she replied, “no, I don’t hate men or anything like that I just want equal rights.” And I spit my coffee out my nose.

@samf.s.7731

11 ай бұрын

well yeah, no one is going to tell the ladies out there that feminism isn't misandry, but feminists. Every anti feminist is gonna bombard the internet with how "Wahmen bad and hate mehn".

@rebeccassweetmusic4632

10 ай бұрын

That's not new because Dolly has always tried to keep her political views out and only talk about her music or what her next project is. To be honest, she definitely doesn't need to be political in her interviews because her actions speak louder than words (in a good way). And if she does speak her mind, she knows how to do it in a way that doesn't offend and she listens to minorities. One of her greatest business moves was to change the name of the title at one of her restaurants in Dollywood because it had Dixie in the title. She listened to the complaints and opted to change it. She literally had a song called "Dumb Blonde" which is a pretty badass statement about the belittling, mistreatment, and sexualization of blonde women.

@poocrayon4588

10 ай бұрын

@@rebeccassweetmusic4632 Maybe dont give her a label she doesnt want. I'm sure you wouldnt like that if someone insisted you were really a part of a group you dont consider yourself to be.

@rebeccassweetmusic4632

10 ай бұрын

@@poocrayon4588 I am a feminist and I don't mind the label. I should've worded it in a different way. My point that I was trying to come across is that her supporting minorities and showing support for women and the LGBTQ+ community speak louder than paying lip service in her interviews. If she doesn't want to be called a feminist, fine! Feminism is supporting equality and human rights for everyone and that's why I originally said that her actions are more feminist even though she doesn't call herself that. You're right! Maybe labeling her that word was not the right thing to do, so, thanks for that

@alexaalexa2308

10 ай бұрын

Feminists hate men

its honestly kinda crazy to think that men call very valid points feminism brings up "demonization" and "hatred". as if we all just collectively made up all those stories of abuse, aggression and superiority out of thin air

@smolcutie1773

10 ай бұрын

I remember I was arguing with man online about how common r*pe and domestic abuse is when it comes to women and he wouldn't accept the articles and the statistics that I presented. He argued that all the statistics, the articles and the stories that make it to the news are all fabrications of women to make money. He even refused to accept cases of p*dophilia saying that the children say only what their mothers have taught them to say and once again women fabricate child abuse and child r*pes to get money. At one point I gave up because he claimed that everything involving the abuse of children and women is just feminist propaganda.

American here. I absolutely hate the “what rights don’t women have” argument. The answer; is most of them. Women are not explicitly included in the constitution. There is no amendment for us that outright says “and all laws written now or in the future shall henceforth include female citizens”, none. Our inclusion in any rights are implied unless specifically stated. Any of these implied rights (*cough* privileges) can be ignored or outright revoked at any time. The overturning of roe v wade is an example of just how easily our “rights” can be taken away when there is no law or constitutional amendment detailing said rights. It makes me very frustrated and people are always freaking SHOCKED to learn that “all men are created equal” really does just mean men. 🦋

@jessicaK_wolfspirit00

10 ай бұрын

Yeah and just because we can work, have a bank account, and still do most things men can do now doesn't mean it's the same for the whole world. A common argument with anti feminists is "if you think you're so oppressed then go to Saudi Arabia" and that's exactly why we need feminism. Just because western countries don't have it that bad for women doesn't mean we should ignore what women go through all over the world. There's still child marriages, female genital mutilation, femicide, sex trafficking, and many women around the world are still fighting to have reproductive rights and access to education. Female infants are also still killed or given away in favor of male infants in China yet people want to pretend feminism isn't needed.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

As a POC from a 3rd world country, what REALLY gets me going about people who say this is that they'll look at privileged white feminists and use our struggle and hardship to diminish or devalue those of the former women. "You don't understand real sexism if catcalling is your biggest problem" Like hello 💀💀

@grandempressvicky6387

10 ай бұрын

​@@FirstnameLastnamesRacists and classists use the exact same rhetoric. The attribute systemic problems to individual lack of character/motivation. They think that because the issue is less visible (black people aren't lynched as a public pass time) that it means equality has been met. Let's ignore stuff like the Israeli government conducting a racial appartied or how women in Saudi Arabia are treated like shit or how explicit poverty has been dumped onto developing countries. Ignore, ignore, ignore. That's all these people do.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

@@grandempressvicky6387 I kinda need to point out how people use Iran/Saudi Arabia/Pakistan/India and their treatment of women as an example of misogyny playing out and yes, while the treatment is shxt I like to think it really pushes people's minds towards the "forced to wear burqa, can't drive, beaten for showing ankles." And yeah, that DOES happen one way or another and keeping intersectionality in mind is really important but that's what people continue to believe misogyny is all about?? They never discuss the more complex ans deeply rooted issues (that these bigger issues arise from) like rape apologising, objectification, rape being seen as a sexual fantasy, perception of female nudity vs male nudity, slurs that use feminine words, attributing feminine behavior to a man in order to insult him, views on women's promiscuity, sexuality and bodies etc. The list goes on. I think it's more fit to say, "patriarchy still exists and women still suffer"

@ivy2828

10 ай бұрын

i feel like i was born feminist. since i can remember ive confronted women-hating men. id get so mad fights would start. so when i went to the mall w friends for the first time, i saw a grey shirt with black writing, saying feminist, ofcours nd did not hesitate to run to the cashier

The part when Ken was crying and Barbie told him that it's okay was so heartwarming and I don’t get how men missed the compassion towards them in this movie.

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

Telling men to be sad and cry is not empowering at all it’s pathetic and weird.

@alexaalexa2308

10 ай бұрын

The movie literally painted men as the bad guy

@abrielle13

10 ай бұрын

@jaysontadlock1871 Pathetic and weird to have normal human emotions?? That's absurd. Men should be allowed to express themselves. There's a reason more suicides happen with men. Because society treats them like they can't show any emotion or have any mental health struggles 🙄

@abrielle13

10 ай бұрын

@alexaalexa2308 The nuance and satire being displayed clearly went over your head.

@ah_dan6572

10 ай бұрын

@@jaysontadlock1871 "It's okay to cry" "How dare you tell me to be sad and force me to cry!" ??

The 'Margot Robbie is mid' discourse fascinates me. I think it ultimately came down to: 1. The men in question were deeply discomforted by Barbie, as it very overtly presented a world that centred women, and marginalised men 2. Said men then felt the need to attack Robbie, who was the most visible public face of the film 3. In their view, the most important thing about women is their appearance. So the best way to undermine Robbie, and the hence, the film, is to attack Robbie's looks. She's so gorgeous that they can't possibly call her ugly, so the worst thing they can think to say is that that she's 'mid'

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

lmaoooo 😭 Just goes to show how much power men have truly given themselves by bashing and demeaning women's looks for years and years. The "fat and ugly, blue haired feminist" is their go-to insult I love Robbie for being stunningly gorgeous in the film but it does make me feel weird that she's forced to use her beauty as a shield against these men. What if she was conventionally unattractive? Do women always need to be beautiful to men to be respected and taken a bit seriously?

@purplehexagram

10 ай бұрын

​@@sabsain2399 Actually, yes. It's not that they will actually respect a beautiful woman or take her seriously, but they will surely pretend to. But none of it would be a problem if women didn't voluntarily submit to men's expectations and the mainstream beauty standards.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

@@purplehexagram pray tell, how do you know they're voluntarily doing it and how do you know they don't dress or look that way for themselves and just so happen to align with conventional beauty standards? I know they don't take beautiful women seriously but if she were ugly they'd shut her down immediately. Back to the point, yeah, patriarchy makes women do a lot of shxt they shouldn't but I don't really see how WOMEN and their actions are the problem here

@raheemcamal998

10 ай бұрын

Morgot is mid to some people, it's time you realise not everyone needs have the same view as you.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

@@raheemcamal998 do you have any critical thinking skills at all? Because we're not criticizing people's having preferences, lmao. I hope I don't need to spell things out for you

I used to say I was a humanist even though I knew what feminism meant because I thought it would get men to listen to feminist talking points- then I realized it wasn't a labeling issue, it was an issue with the actual points. They didn't respect me and other women at all. So I went back to saying I was a feminist to filter those out of my life.

@AmberyTear

10 ай бұрын

You can be both tho but I get what you're saying.

@jessjohnson998

10 ай бұрын

@@AmberyTear That's true! I still am both I just don't weasel around the fact that I'm making feminist points when I'm making feminist points anymore.

@zerotustra5264

10 ай бұрын

if you'd think deeper you'd understand that even if those people had an issue with the actual points, it doesnt change the fact that there are people who absolutely have problems with the label. and it's 100% easier to reach them without using the label. is it worth for you? up to you

@jessjohnson998

10 ай бұрын

@@zerotustra5264 I did think deeper and I did try to reach. But there's an inherent issue with reaching misogynists as a woman no matter what words I use. Now I'm burned out and they can all go wear some willing martyr down yeah.

@zerotustra5264

10 ай бұрын

@@jessjohnson998 tried to reach what? it's as if they are different people and some are reachable but some arent? it never ends, you can only get tired and give up. but yeah, you are free to feel better about yourself that "I didnt everything I could, it's not salvageable"

I always find it really irritating when people conflate feminists with hating men. I consider myself a feminist, and I deeply care about men! The world is hard for ALL of us, and some men don’t have the same privileges I do. Anyways, great work! 🦋

@elizrebezilmadommdo1662

10 ай бұрын

It's weird that feminists are labeled as "anti-male" when I've only ever seen feminists point out and fight against harmful stereotypes about men and show support for male SA victims. The movements that claim that they're looking out for modern men are the ones pushing toxic stereotypes and putting pressure on men to act tough, be in charge, and hide their emotions, and they seem to be the ones harming men more and are more anti-male than they lead themselves out to be. And they only seem to care about men being abused, harassed, or assaulted when they're trying to make the argument that women "have it better" or dismiss abuse done to women. They don't bring it up in any other context the way feminists do. They only care about it when it's convenient for them.

@avril6922

10 ай бұрын

Yeeess🎉

@Thersyl

10 ай бұрын

One of the biggest problems is that people (men in this case) don't like hearing they are doing something wrong and need to change if they care about the wellbeing of the women in their lives OR advocate for other men to change if they (fortunately) are not doing those things. The "not all men" argument is too tiring, no one is saying (except a minority) that all men are demons and a danger to women, but some of them unfortunately are exactly that and they should fight next to us to stop domestic violence, assaults etc. instead of feeling called out.

@liamwacey807

10 ай бұрын

​@@ThersylExactly. It must be exhausting. Even I find my hackles getting up sometimes when I hear too much "men are XYZ..." style statements, but the urge to defend must be suppressed. I used to wonder if perhaps there was a way to phrase those kinds of statements which wouldn't put men on the defensive but at the end of the day I don't think there is. All that can be done is to leave a space open in the movement for men that want to participate (and LISTEN), just like every other type of person.

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

Feminism is the advocation of women’s rights under the presumption that they don’t already have equal or more rights than men.

The gaming community in particular is rife with mis/disinformation about feminism. It's basically strawmanned and used as a slur, and no amount of explaining the very simple concept of feminism will be absorbed.

@anitaremenarova6662

11 ай бұрын

That's sadly a tough crowd to sell feminism to. Those that prefer story games are already quite progressive and those that don't already don't like thinking deeply about things which is fine but good luck trying to convince them to care.

@dragon9261

10 ай бұрын

Like just as a general way rather than going into specifics, I LOVE "nerd" media, like it's such my vibe, however I've stopped watching 5 series purely because of how the fan base treated the women characters and then treated me as a women in the community. At a certain point it's like "damn I could play DnD, but I'd rather not be overly explained simple concepts of math because some dude bro thought I couldn't count to 20" you know?

@JohnDoe-nm5le

10 ай бұрын

Question. In your world view if feminism is a very simple concept, then why should I take it into consideration? The world is full of complex ideas, ethics, philosophies, and more. To distill these complexities to something that you describe as very simple seems like a waste of time to me. Out of curiosity, why do you think feminism is a very simple concept?

@espeon871

10 ай бұрын

Ikr same for some in the anime fandom, the more reactionary and more "sensitive" a fandom is to criticism even mild and will help the people in it eg calling out racism sexism etc they get so defensive cuz theyve made their whole personality their fave piece of media or medium and its like so annoying esp as someone who grew up on the same mediums but also want critical progressive intersectional feminist analysis of if

@dragon9261

10 ай бұрын

@@espeon871 omg yes. There's anime I won't touch with a fifteen foot pole ( code Geass for example) because the fans sexualisation of women and glorification of the main dude geniunely freak me out. Like I have anime that is problematic af ( I watched 7 deadly sins as a child which goddamn kinda creepy now but somehow still nostalgic) and I recognise that the tropes that are used are for lack of word "unfeminist", but first you can recognise it and then not contribute monetarily to the creator of it (which the anime community isn't really doing anyways unless they buy merch). Like honestly just talking about how "problematic" some anime is like so important to making the community more welcoming and they just don't goddamn

I literally was just thinking about how in the early 2000s young women were being turned off feminism because of how it was presented as being something conventionally unattractive/undesirable women were interested in because it didn’t matter if men didn’t like them, so if you identified as feminist you had to assert and prove you were “feminist but pretty/still cares about male approval” and how that seems to be on the rise again.

@espeon871

10 ай бұрын

Yep, its so gross

@cmm5542

10 ай бұрын

Ah, so we are only allowed to want people of the same sex to like us now? Wanting approval from a friend or lover who happens to be of the opposite gender is gross. Got it.

As a straight man I am afraid to say that I am a feminist to both men and women because I worry that I will just be labeled as a simp or that I am disingenuous and just saying it to pick up girls. But I am always the first to point out that feminism is just as much about protecting men from toxic masculinity as it is about uplifting women as ideas like “the man box” show that is the only way we can progress.

@LoveYourself-my9nz

10 ай бұрын

@@hel3o167 we don't need to protect someone just because you are man and other is a woman but we can protect each other as a human. If someone is in need of help we should help them irrespective of their gender.

@jujutsucryin3256

10 ай бұрын

Good for you! The right people will actually get what it’s all about and not label you negatively

@TigerFucker

10 ай бұрын

As another guy, I do like to label myself as a feminist, because the more that do the less demonized it will become.

@ZombieWerePrechaunPire

10 ай бұрын

You're not a man.

@cmm5542

10 ай бұрын

Interesting that no one ever mentions what would REPLACE this 'toxic masculinity.' I've never heard anyone mention 'positive masculinity' so I guess all men will either become women or nonentities? There is nothing about masculinity that is more toxic by nature than feminity. There are only toxic PEOPLE, and gender is irrelevant. It is so sad to hear people being told a part of themselves they were born with is just toxic and they have to spend their whole lives making up for something that's not their fault. And somehow they'll be better off than just being proud of being boys the same way I'm proud of being a girl? Go ahead, call me a 'pick me.' Why shouldn't I be the one picked over someone who wants to destroy masculinity where I would admire and support it? 🤷‍♀️ I suppose the 'cruel beauty' has always appealed to male fantasies though - it is what it is.

“ if you are pro-equality why don’t you go to war.” Bro I don’t anyone should be forced into the military

@BryonyClaire

10 ай бұрын

10000%, I've seen that tried to be used as an argument so many times, it's not the amazing argument people think it is!

@hemanownsyou

4 ай бұрын

Then actually help fight for men to not be forced into war, instead of saying something after the fact.

You know how every conservative accusation is a confession? That makes so much sense in how cons say "feminists want to control and subjugate men!" Like, no, bruh, we just don't want to be controlled and subjugated. Way to tell on yourselves. 🦋

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

Feminists have no secured a single right for men. Stop pretending like you aren’t a member of a hate group.

@LilacSreya

10 ай бұрын

Indeed. Projection at its finest.

@cmm5542

10 ай бұрын

Then why do women who have NEVER been controlled or subjugated fear men so much? Are THEY projecting some unsatisfied desire to subjugate and control men by 'not wanting' something that actually hasn't happened to them? Hmmm . . .

@luciferia.1313

10 ай бұрын

​@@cmm5542Too much mental gymnastics, assumptions and excuses dude. Stfu

@smolcutie1773

10 ай бұрын

​@@cmm5542 Statistically 1 in 6 women will get r*ped in her lifetime. And while the 1 in 6 statistic is supported by solid scientific research it's likely an underestimate of the actual prevalence since majority of r*pe cases go unreported especially if the victim is a minor or the perpetrator is a family member.

I’m very ready to leave capitalist feminism behind. Next stage here we come 🦋

@espeon871

10 ай бұрын

Same! Its so reductive and unhelpful and also not intersectional and only help those women who have almost all the privileges so its not anti patriarchy and more doing it while under it cuz u can escape it thru class privilege

@angelwings967

10 ай бұрын

Yes. Eat the rich. They are killing all of us.

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

We do not live under capitalism. There is no private property. Don’t pay your taxes and see who really owns it.

@ErutaniaRose

10 ай бұрын

EXACTLY. I feel this especially as a disabled AFAB person.

I went to an all girls school growing up. When I was 18 our English teacher put out a informal survey to all her classes asking them to list words they associated with various ideology. Feminism she shared later with me was most accolated with the word Crazy. As in out of 100 responses over half had crazy or some other related word listed. It was deeply destressing that even in a all female environment still feeling that feminism wasn't important.

@LoveYourself-my9nz

10 ай бұрын

@@hel3o167 we need Meninism is same like we need white rights!

I’m done overexplaining why I’m a feminist to people and it rarely goes beyond “feminism is anti-patriarchal, anti-oppressive, anti-capitalist, anti-sexist, and anti-racist”. True feminism considers every person who is affected by those things and if someone can’t get behind that then that’s on them. Also, I highly recommend the book, Hood Feminism! ❤

I’m also a former pick me, a former self-identified anti-feminist. Very embarrassed at how I behaved myself in the past, but I feel like I understand the opposition a lot better. I’ve been in the anti-woman circles, and realizing that they’ll never respect me no matter what is what knocked it into my head that I was acting goofy. I have to say, the incels are only growing their voices and it’s only getting worse. The misinformation from them has been bad and I see people fall into the same traps I used to. We just have to be proactive with our information, be against “wait and see” tactics and get true information out first before people hear what the incel talking points are. We’ve gotta actually lead the charge rather than sit on our asses and make commentary after the fact, cause no one listens to fact checkers after they’ve made their decisions.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

I resonate with your experience but I gotta add that the term incel is kinda overused and misused. They're just involuntary celibates and while yes, many of them are disgustingly misogynistic - the real problem is conservatives, patriarchy, right wingers and redpillers. I'm genuinely shocked to see that after all this time i still get recommended anti-choice content and people STILL victim blame and apologise r/pe and worship tradtional female roles that have put us at a disadvantage for so long.

@McSnezzly

10 ай бұрын

@@sabsain2399valid point, I use incel in a derogatory way and it’s definitely a habit I need to stop. I realize I won’t win anyone over being mean. But it’s so hard sometimes seeing the things they say.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

@@McSnezzly I understand :( I used to spend time on 4chan boards and certain subreddits so I get you But you weren't being mean tho! It makes sense to use it, since "misogynist" doesn't really cut it as it's not that specific Incel does get the point across because we're talking specifically about now-common misogynistic takes and beliefs that originated from 2014-ish blackpill and the gamergate community - which was accompanied by the rise of sexist incels spewing unbridled hatred against women due to their frustrations and bigotry. So yes, while a man doesn't need to be a virgin to be misogynistic, it still helps throwing the term incel at these guys here and there to convey what group it is you're calling out the misogyny of

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

You were never an anti feminist. Nobody who understands that feminism is a gnostic cult would ever join it after the fact. You’re delusional.

@theshermantanker7043

10 ай бұрын

​@@sabsain2399It's 4chan, don't let it get to you

I have massive issues with my brother because for at least a decade he has brushed me off and condescendingly called me a ‘feminista’ and ‘what about the men’-ed for so long. I worry for my nearly 3 year old niece, but I’m doing what I can when I get the opportunity to see her to help instil intersectional values. I just hope it works 🦋

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

Wishing you luck!! You can do it. It's difficult to argue against their talking points because so much of it based purely of off feelings and emotions and incorrect information. You can't give a 4 word answer to their 4 word question

@furthings

8 ай бұрын

I'm seeing this struggle between my normal bf, his niece, and her awfully... suspicious dad (bf's brother). Wishing you good luck

I’ve identified as feminist since I knew what the word meant, around middle school, but I think that’s mostly because I grew up on tumblr. It’s always been interesting to me how many people ARE feminist in their beliefs but just don’t like the label. I also feel like, when it comes to nlogs, there’s an element of that line of thought that’s just very human - we like to feel unique, like there’s something that makes us special. Especially in high school/college when we’re really working on forming our identities. 🦋

@spaghetto9836

11 ай бұрын

As a "non-feminist" of the first caliber that you described, this is on point 🎯.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

Me worried about women's abortion rights, sexuality, bodily autonomy, social maneuverability, safety, health, position in society, image in media and thinking I was not a feminist and just a "logical thinker" who was going to be bros with the (redpilled) guys of youtube gamergate community

@KireiC

10 ай бұрын

I'm a bit older, but I swear a good portion of the reason I kept using the word "feminist" to describe myself even in the 00s when it felt like it was out of fashion linked back to me trying to be a bit iconoclastic. I wanted to be unique, so I stuck with the term even as the anti-SJW stuff kept growing (it helped that because I was older, I was already more established in my identity by then).

@vivvy_0

10 ай бұрын

or we got brutally bullied by girly girls and it made us completely alienated from this supposed 'sister-hood' that wasn’t ever there

@spaghetto9836

10 ай бұрын

@@vivvy_0 POV: You're undiagnosed ND so you don't have an experience of "fitting in" with either sex. So you never experienced the comradery both keep talking about. Bonus if you never had that with the parent of the same sex.

This is a fantastic breakdown of the mindset of anti-feminists, and anti-woke in general. Also, your eyeshadow is GOALS.

@jiliciar.1423

11 ай бұрын

Yes the eyeshadow and her whole look overall is amazing.

🦋 I feel like fourth wave feminism has been building up for a few years, and is much much needed... I also predict that fourth wave will become increasingly more environmentally aware, because it's all connected; patriarchy, capitalism, climate crisis... I had a friend at uni who, when I asked if they were a feminist, replied "no! why would I be a feminist when there's more pressing issues like the environment!?"...

I was a pick me too, but not for men to like me. But I just didn't want to loose my friends by having an opinion. I'm also not very good at discussions and arguing so I could never really explain myself well enough to "win" the discussion. Although I am lucky to have friends who all were pro-women and generally equality. Everyone was scared to call themselves a feminist. But now I am definitely proud to say it. And confidence wins. If they try to debate it, red flag, I don't want to be talking to them any longer. Unless I would be talking to a child or they ask questions genuinely.

@jiliciar.1423

11 ай бұрын

I also struggle to argue my beliefs. I simply went through something in life that made me realize my old way of thinking is not for me anymore and I adapt a new way of thinking, simple as that.

@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259

10 ай бұрын

@beingWantable that's fair. Labels are scary in general, same with opinions

@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259

10 ай бұрын

​@jiliciar.1423 how so if you don't mind me asking? Out of curiosity. Ignore if you don't want to share though or say you don't feel like it

I think what prompted my "pick me" phase was looking at women's issues through an "oppression Olympics" lens. I got annoyed with feminists in wealthy, Western democracies complaining about "manspreading" and "mansplaining" while there were women in other parts of the world that couldn't vote, couldn't marry and divorce as they chose, couldn't get an education, were made to sleep outside their own homes while menstruating, were honor-killed and any number of other horrific things that were far worse than being talked over at a board meeting. It felt like nitpicking to me. I reasoned (wrongly) that because other countries are WORSE places to be a woman, that meant that things were "fine" here in the West and that we had nothing to complain about except the odd sexist grandpa. Because we could vote, hold office, work any job, had access to birth control and abortion (though that one's gone now for a lot of people), were (nominally) guaranteed equal pay for equal work and could in theory do as we pleased, that meant patriarchy had largely been fixed. Meanwhile, there are places a woman can't even walk around by herself in public without a male relative as escort. Because of that comparison, it felt like Western feminists were looking for problems and playing victim while women elsewhere suffered "legitimately." I became disillusioned with feminism as a movement and as a concept because it felt fake and ineffectual towards REAL issues. It took me a long time to come around to the realization that there is still SO much work left to be done, even in the West, and that just because things are better in some places and worse in others (or better for certain kinds of women and worse for others), that doesn't mean that women, as a class, aren't marginalized.

@BryonyClaire

10 ай бұрын

I 100% understand that journey you've been on, and it makes me think of something I raise all the time "it's all relative to what each person has experienced" because the oppression olympics view of things doesn't really help. Like say you've broken a leg and you've never broken a bone before, just because someone else has broken 5 bones doesn't mean you're pain isn't real - if that makes sense?

@ihatehumans4264

10 ай бұрын

Let’s be honest here, we can still criticize western feminism, especially white feminists. I still view white American woman as privileged than the average poc person but can still experience sexism and discrimination. But let’s face it, manspreading is a stupid concept, that didn’t stop me from being a feminist but made me question western feminism and the ignorance of other women’s struggles. Oppression Olympics is damaging to women but more to poc woman. We should criticize white feminists for the fact that they undermine, shoot a blind eye, or not even let poc women talk about their struggle and experiences. Both can be true on the same time. The way indigenous people talked about the disappearance of indigenous women and white woman never batted an eye to help but as soon as rode vs Wayne was revoked yall started to say “all woman are in danger” because it started to affect you (not saying u specifically but as a general term). So you’re valid to feel that way about western feminist BUT u shouldn’t hate the general concept of feminism.

@Un1234l

7 ай бұрын

How did you conclude that women are still marginalised and treated as second class citizens in the West?

@CaptainBones222

6 ай бұрын

Ok, then how are women still opressed today in the west?

@giselletorres4156

4 ай бұрын

@@CaptainBones222 My boy we literally just discussed this lolol

My feminist Mom did a terrible job explaining feminism to me in the 90's. I am starting to believe she may have had it explained wrong to her as well. Considering sending her this video..

@gumption582

10 ай бұрын

best of luck!! :D

Feminism will never stop being "useful" because Striving for equality between sexes can never stop being useful in society 🤷🏽‍♂️. Thank you for your insightful perspective as always. 🦋 (Sorry, I couldn't find the blue butterfly 😅)

I once was having a conversation with a bunch of friends, and we were talking about what we would find actually attractive in a man and I said “Oh a man who’s a feminist is hottest” and suddenly all of these people that I thought I knew so well (except my best friend who was also listening in horror) started ranting about how anyone who calls themself a feminist is just a man hater, and when I said that this was ridiculous and this isn’t what feminism is, they accused me of being ignorant and stupid for thinking feminist actually just want equal rights. It was the most brain dead conversation I’ve had in my entire life. The portrayal of feminism in media is so horrendous that even the most progressive people hate feminists, it’s insanity.

Some of my greatest anti-feminist inclinations came thanks to BuzzFeed. Those absolute profiteering trolls put feminism backwards at least ten years in my opinion. Here's the marker, as you requested. 🦋

@runawaypacman

10 ай бұрын

You make a good point 😅. They would have the most wild titles.

I've had a pick-me phase in high school lol. It's actually embarrassing looking back because I thought that to truly believe in feminism, you had to be against anything feminine, and you had to take yourself seriously to be a feminist. I think the clearest example that I can remember when my internalized misogyny was put in check was when I hated Marilyn Monroe because of what she represented to the patriarchy and how men objectified her and every woman who looked like her. It wasn't until my sister was like, "Don't talk about her like that! She was a victim and a very smart woman." That was my first reality check when I realized I had a lot of internalized misogyny. I felt a bit awful after that remark. This was also when I was a teen in high school. It was only a few years ago when I actually slowly tried to welcome back the childlike feminine side in me that I was made to suppress (mainly because of my father, the patriarchy, and society). This year is the year of femininity, for me, and supporting women no matter what they look like. I loved the Barbie movie and I know there are a lot of valid critiques about the film that deserve discussion, but this movie really inspired me to enjoy my feminine side. I believe that there are no outside requirements to be a feminist! If you are a feminist and support every woman and want us to have the rights we deserve, congrats! You're a feminist! You don't need to look one way to be a feminist! Also, feminism supports men too! The patriarchy also sets impossible standards for men and what they need to achieve according to our sexist society. Ken's story arc deconstructs the impossible standards so well, imo.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

Same 😢

@theshermantanker7043

10 ай бұрын

The only reason I don't call myself one is because I'm tired of labels, if that's fine

@pisceanbeauty2503

10 ай бұрын

Usually it was “feminine” presenting women who were often anti-feminist because they viewed feminists as masculine and stepping outside of stereotypical archetypes of what women are supposed to be.

@rebeccassweetmusic4632

10 ай бұрын

@@pisceanbeauty2503 That is also really true. For me, though, it was just more of the opposite where it was expected that I had to dislike femininity in order to be feminist when it doesn't HAVE to be that way. And I agree because there HAVE been feminine presenting women who have also shamed other women. The clearest historical example I can think of is Phyllis Schlafly. She was a feminine woman and was also an anti-feminist conservative. At the same time, there were also women like Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda who represented the beauty standards and presented more feminine, but were also activists who fought for (and still fight) for human rights. There are still feminine-presenting women out there who still want to uphold the "traditional values" and shame other women too. Yet... At the same time, there are also femmes and feminine-presenting women who don't shame other women either. This is what the patriarchy wants us to do. It's easier for all of us women to turn heads and fight with other women instead of fight the system

@pisceanbeauty2503

10 ай бұрын

@@rebeccassweetmusic4632 Yes, I agree with this.

My father told me just after march 8th this year that he’d been thinking international women’s day maybe wasn’t as needed anymore, but he’d changed his mind after seeing on the news how things were going in Afghanistan. I think many forget that it’s a global issue 🦋

When I was 20 or so, I had a 'Pick Me' phase, not necessarily about the politics of feminism, but more so "I'm not a bimbo, I read books, I am a brunette, I wear casual/modest clothing, I'm much deeper and complex than a bimbo" that was my Pick Me thought process back then. Now I'm in my 30s and I think differently.

@rebeccassweetmusic4632

11 ай бұрын

Yep... Same here! That attitude was more in my teens up to my early 20s. I will be in my mid-twenties next Sunday and I no longer have those beliefs. I think what helped me with that was re-thinking my views on makeup, for example. I used to think that makeup was vapid, shallow, and used as a way to hide ourselves (which can still be true if you still have those common insecurities). I was on the "pro-natural" stance which I really used as a way to shield the fact that I was insecure with my acne and defensively shielding myself from people commenting on my bare face was my way of building a wall (which didn't help). I saw makeup differently when my trans brother was starting to do cosplay and was experimenting with makeup and learning makeup tips. My little brother was my first teacher on how to do makeup on my face (with the basics). Adopting my feminine side was a slow process, but it really didn't come out until this year and THEN when I saw the Barbie movie, my inner child that loved Disney Princesses and Barbies came full out and the movie has now inspired me to be more proud of my femininity

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

shdkdjhsjsus the modest clothing part!!! It had a lot to do with religion but holy crap, I used to sl/t-shame women so much 💀 and think I was better than them because I wasn't shameless or a "whxre" I used to even victim blame and omg, wtf was that mindset I am so glad I am far away

@theemanuella9456

10 ай бұрын

@@sabsain2399my friends are sadly still in that phase💀

@lesleyallisontaylor

10 ай бұрын

I have to admit, I'm all about reading books, developing myself, understanding my own complex nature and I'm indeed interested in various things that most people I know aren't interested in. But I don't do it, so other people see me as interesting or "different". I genuinely love these things. As I explored my own complexity through almost a decade of self reflection, I became even more interested in people, since I developed the capacity to understand others much more. Uniqueness is such a beautiful thing and there's no need for comparison at all. the more we explore ourselves and express that makes us who we are, the more we celebrate the individuality of others, as we are not more than or not less than others. it's all about the mindset on top of it that makes the difference :) I don't see it as pick me, but I get where you're coming from. it's only getting toxic when we think we're better than other people and more worthy of love or more worthy of being desired.

@giselletorres4156

4 ай бұрын

Holy crap I used to be so mean to the teen moms in high school when they needed all the support they can get, they sure as hell weren't getting that from their families already calling them a bunch of names.

I used to be a not-like-other-girls pick-me. Took me a while to figure out that other women weren't the enemy. I blame it on the fact that our society teaches women to see each other as competition.

@ekattri

11 ай бұрын

I was also “not like other girls”, and I was in the minority in a way, I dressed very masculine growing up. It caused me lots of problems in school in the 00s. I think it’s a neutral observation to make in some cases, it’s not an insult, it’s just another way of saying “I didn’t fit the gender role”.

@katt.1787

10 ай бұрын

@@ekattri Absolutely. But I was the kind that hated everything even remotely "girly" because that's what I was taught to do.

@cmm5542

10 ай бұрын

You DO realise that competition is a fact of nature and survival, right? Society didn't invent it. You put a group of women on an island and we will all compete to survive. Same as if you put a group of men, or a group of mixed gender. At the end of the day, most people will pick surviving over being 'nice and non-competitive.' 🙄

🦋 Thank you for specifying that the Suffragettes fought for *white women's* right to vote, I feel a lot of people miss that. I unfortunately did have this antifeminist phase when I was about 13 with commentary KZreadrs. As a black enby, I'm glad that intersectional feminism as a term took off (and as a bonus, it's a way to distance ourselves from TERFs...)

@ng38477

10 ай бұрын

This is a lie and this ridiculous Serena Joy simping for men in dresses doesn't know wtf she's talking about. This is a ridiculous lie to promote "intersectionality" because men in dresses don't like being told no or boundaries.

I am proud to say that I'm a disabled women thats an intersectional feminist 🦋 And that feminism helps both genders. We all suffer under old systems

🦋 I had no idea I'm intersectionist feminist. It feels better to call myself one now. Thank you.

Men have been trying to turn women away from other women since as far back as my memory can take me. I don't know how many times I heard the line, "You're not like other girls." from some guy who was trying to make me feel special just so he MAY get the chance to sleep with me.... Their biggest fear is that women stop hating on each other and work together, and god...we'd be a force to reckon with if that were to happen. But it looks like the sea of NLOG's and pick me's are unfortunately growing. I honestly can't tell if they're self-hating or just attention seeking. Maybe both?

🦋🦋🦋🦋 much love to everyone who embraces feminism and understands what it actually means 🩷

@_maia_m

10 ай бұрын

Much love to you, too 💜🩷💛

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

It means you’re delusion and think you don’t have rights when you already have more rights than men.

I was the one who submitted the anecdote at 12:28 and honestly I've decided to be upfront about my feminist views and not sugarcoat them. I still have some shame around the term but I'm gonna embrace it and use it to filter friends/dates from now on. It's okay if someone has a lot to unlearn but I'm not gonna waste my precious energy arguing about something so fundamental to me. And if cishet men don't find me attractive or think feminists are ugly, fine, let me be ugly in peace then, I don't want the validation of someone who is clearly and blatantly so uninformed. ✌🏾

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

I have shame too!! I am trying to get over it by educating myself. And ofc, sexist cishet men's opinion shouldn't be a metric for your beauty if I've learned anytning hanging out in redpilled spaces 😊 wishing you all the best

@MM-qc9kl

10 ай бұрын

​@@sabsain2399thank you, good luck to you too! I swear being in safe spaces for women/queer folks like this channel and talking to supportive people like you is healing 💞

About pick me girls, internalized misogyny is so painful, we become a kind of victimizers, like gender traitors, because perhaps unconsciously, we hope that the patriarchy will be kind to us, treat us better. At the end of the day, it's almost like a way to survive. I can criticize the pick me girls, but deep down, I know that like the rest of us, they are victims trying to survive (maybe not in the best way, but trying to survive anyways)

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

I remember watching a video by this amazing cc. He basically demonstrated how the patriarchy labels women as the "good woman" and "bad woman". By being the good woman aka obedient, not a leftist/feminist, modest, traditional etc. women hope to receive better treatment from men and the patriarchy. Yet lo and behold, they are still treated like trash. This is how men manipulate and tame us.

@alexaalexa2308

10 ай бұрын

No such thing as internalized mysoginy

@amblingscout

10 ай бұрын

I feel this. I would have avoided a pick-me stage entirely if I felt like other women had my back, but the women in my life would not be allies and I needed social support from somebody. The women would never accept me any way I was, so I had to work for the acceptance of men.

@cmm5542

10 ай бұрын

I'm not a victim of anyone but people like you telling me I am one! I am an independent woman with a career, a vote, friends, and who loves men. This is because IT IS WHAT I WANT. Society hasn't forced 'patriarchy' on me; what modern feminist society has forced on me for thirty years is that what I want is worthless and bad and I have to want what other women tell me I should want. I have to fight this oppressive mentality every day! I don't want what you want, and I do not accept your condescension and supercilliousness in telling me what I should want! I am a free equal adult with equal rights and responsibilities who can make her own decisions. The only person demeaning me is you for telling me my ideas and desires aren't my own and I should 'really' want what YOU think is best for me (but is really just what is best for you). For the record, no man or non-feminist woman has EVER tried to dictate to me what my own inner desires should be! Talk about oppressive control!

🦋🦋🦋🦋 I grew up with a working mom and stay at home dad in the early 90s who thougth only women could drive cars bc my dad didn't have a driving license at the time. Girl was I confused and shocked when my teenage years turned out to follow a weird rudimentary prototype storyline of the recent Barbie movie. I was basically raised feminist without grasping the concept well into my late teens. Your videos are fire, love. Thank you for the passion, dedication and hard work you put into them! While looking absolutely stunning as well.

you know feminism is needed when i was surprised that my work gave my coworker maternity leave and they didn't straight up fire her 💀

The “what rights do women lack in this developed country” argument is inherently flawed. It’s equivalent to “well you should be grateful because there are starving people in Africa.” Like… okay??? A woman in another country having it much worse, ALSO because of her sex and gender, does not make me feel better about the very real societal barriers that exist against me due to my reproductive system. Just like how people in certain regions having no access to food nor potable water does not make me feel better about my depression and anxiety brought upon by late stage and unchecked capitalism. It just makes me feel worse. “Oooo this housing crisis is a real bummer. I can’t afford shelter… but thank GOD for those emaciated children in Africa. Otherwise I’d feel really bad and worried. But because of other people’s more extreme suffering, I’m totally at ease.” It just doesn’t check out.

I too have noticed that so many young people are hesitating to use the label! I’m 23, and while I identified with the term “feminism” in my teens, as I learned more and became more intersectional, radical, & nuanced in my beliefs, I noticed that I also began to cringe at the word! I knew it was still applicable, and knew about intersectional feminism being it’s most logical and ideal form (instead of its white supremacist, commodified iteration, for example), but the culture of everyone else shying away from it made me nervous to use it to describe myself. I’m trying to include it more in my vocabulary again, though this time I will likely say “intersectional feminist” as a way to start conversations about what feminism can and should be (and has been in some circles for a very long time!!) Another great video, thank you Bryony🦋

I'm so glad you talked about capitalist feminism. I wasn't a pick me as a teen, i claimed myself to be a feminist from my mid teens (~2016) but something changed along the way. When awful fast fashion companies started to produce t-shirts that said "feminist" on them, among other things, it felt like they emptied the word of its substance. It just felt like a trend and a money maker, much like pride month does now. I think i unconsciously avoided calling myself a feminist for a little while, but in my early twenties i learned the hard way (ie by being hurt by men as well as the women i love) that feminism is essential to my well being and that i am so lucky that other women paved the way. I'm reading these women's books, i do my best to be intersectional and i am never questioning the word feminist ever again.

Always have been a feminist and now my bf calls himself one too. Closest I got to NLOG status was in primary school, but I was mostly just already feeling worn out by societal expectations for girlyness. I didn't feel that different to the people around me, but I felt alienated by the archetypal "teen girl" from movies and TV. But by the time I was in middle school, I was calling myself feminist because I always was taught that it helped everybody. My feminism today is rooted in environmentalism. The way women and femmes are treated mirrors how the earth gets treated. There's a reason we call earth mother.

@jiliciar.1423

11 ай бұрын

This. Edit: Everyone has different beliefs. Some of us believe what op said and some don't so please respect our beliefs. You can express yours but don't knock down our beliefs while expressing yours.

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

Girl what. Women are not connected to the Earth in any way..

@robinita46853

10 ай бұрын

@@sabsain2399 Are women not animals the earth created? Do many men not see women only as objects to extract resources from?

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

@@robinita46853 ??? Children, old people, men are also animals that "the earth created" then lmfao. Men, children also get mistreated by other men Also, I don't call the earth "mother". Men like to call it that for some reason and I have no intention of associating women and femmes with an arbitrary concept or object You can treat the earth and women like shxt and still not think of them as the same. Women are not just "animals of the earthe," we come from different regions, cultures, oppresive religions and patriarchal systems, race, experience, ethnicity and thoughts. The earth doesn't define any of that

@liamwacey807

10 ай бұрын

I'm here for that. Allegory and metaphor have been used to broaden and deepen our connection to many physical objects for a along as there has been language. If conceptualizing your life as one of a string of women rooted deeply in this world then I say that kicks ass. 💪

Why does everyone forget about SWERFS? I'm a seggs worker and get told constantly by other women I'm at blame for trafficking,meanwhile I made a choice to go into a career that's allowed me to be a SAHM,has paid the bills etc while being completely self employed and I just happen to be a feminist that makes ethical p*rn. I love my job,yet I get told regularly I'm to blame in degrading other women by doing what I do. SWERFS and TERFS are the absolute bane of my existence.

@mizzlarabee

10 ай бұрын

I came across a profile on Hinge and he used one of his prompts to write “no TERFs, no SWERFs, no conservatives, no cops” and I was like YES🎉

@missvoorhees7964

10 ай бұрын

@@mizzlarabee oh hell yes!

I love being a feminist

@april6620

11 ай бұрын

This sounds vaguely familiar... im a young gen x-er... so during the 80s & 90s when i was growing up was another big round of moral panic and homophobia... i had no language, information or support for what i was feeling... also was undiagnosed neurodivergent with ptsd growing up in an old school, old testament religious family (sda, if ya know, ya know).... All that to say.... i would refer to myself as a dude with girl parts... that was the only way i knew how to express that i never felt either or... more like both or neither... And im sure my dude with tits and vag joke had layers of pick me, trauma response and desperately needing any sort of validation mixed in. Wow. I didnt intend on writing a novel. Its just so encouraging to see the discussions and push back coming in response to this recent wave of phobias and panic.. and at least some focus on the root of our problems. Much love, encouragement and solidarity to you.

@jaysontadlock1871

10 ай бұрын

You found out you weren’t a girl? Your uterus just dematerialized randomly one day? Fascinating.

@alexaalexa2308

10 ай бұрын

Ok pick me

@dottyContrarian

10 ай бұрын

​@@alexaalexa2308 and who exactly do they want to be picked by?

@LeaveMeAlone3omgIgotloggedouta

10 ай бұрын

Plot twist

I am a feminist since middle school, now I am in university. some of my guy friends use to mock me for being a feminist. I am not friends with them now lol. but some girls used to side eye me as well with that guys too. I hope they changed their opinions about feminism.

You gotta love that our society centers men SO much that even a movement created by women for women is still judged from the perspective of how it (supposedly negatively) affects men.

There was a lot of confusion for me when I was growing up about what feminism was. At first I thought it meant exactly what it was. Equal rights. But then the people around me and on the internet had used it as a slur and attached it to things as "man-hating", etc. So yes, I had a period of confusion, rejection, relabeling, then re-adoption. And looks like I just learned what intersectional-feminist is. Great vid. 🦋

I didn’t call myself a feminist for a very long time because I didn’t want to be „extreme“. I finally did start calling myself a feminist after I met a guy (platonic, I’m a lesbian) that wasn’t scared to openly say that he identified as a communist, he was openly and actively supporting and protesting for equal rights for all. Women, members of the lgbtqai+ community and people of other ethnic groups and things like that. He made me be more open about my own opinions too. We’re good friends now, he’s a great guy. One of the few men in my life I fully trust

🦋 I sent this video to my friend in Spain. We're constantly arguing about how "Feminism is just another word for Misandry", when I know from experience (as well as resources like this video) that Feminists help men, too. Disparaging people on the basis of Gender/Sex is what intersectional Feminism aims to tackle, and I wish to help my fellow men understand that women (and feminists) don't hate men in the path of "smashing patriarchy", but we do challenge those parts of patriarchy that maintain order through the suppression of women and violence against our (sense of) community.

As a cishet man, I had the weirdest looks when I told people that I was a feminist. Even from my women friends, who knew they were being oppressed by patriarchy but just couldn't put it into words. When I elaborated on why patriarchal capitalism is a system built on oppression of non normative genders (non men, basically) they were blown away that a man told them that, lol. I have to say that the fourth wave should make efforts to include men (I know that feminists in general try their hardest to include men into the discourse) but with social media it can be more doable. It's really hard to untuck the wires of my patriarchal friends (men and women) especially as a man, most just think I'm an extremist to not be taken seriously or that I just want attention from women. It's hard and sometimes feels like a losing battle but we can't give up, as long as we have a platform we have to speak up. Cheers.

I'm a former NLOG and during the height of it, I actually said things like "I'm not like other girls; I'm a feminist." Like I was somehow better than other girls because I was proclaiming my feminism (even though it's not very feminist to blatantly hate on other girls just because)??? I was that brand of NLOG that wouldn't go near pink and sparkles and whatnot because it was "too girly" and "that's just what's expected of me." It's only in the past few years (even though I got my minor in women's studies!) that I've allowed myself to enjoy/like "girly" things, which is why the Barbie movie came at such a perfect time for me. Looking back, I just wonder how I could loudly shout about being a feminist (which I was and still am, but I was misguided in what it meant for so long) while bashing other girls for their interests.

🦋 I was raised by a second wave feminist who never took her husband's name. I never had the pressure to exhibit any particular form of feminity, and my mom let me dress myself anyway I wanted, and encouraged me to pursue education, and generally embraced the capitalist third wave feminist aesthetic. When I came out as a lesbian , she accepted me and it was a non issue. Even so, when I came out as a trans man, she reacted poorly and acted like I was dying. It took me by surprise! It really drove home for me how feminism suffered from a lack of intersectionality, and I was very frustrated for awhile. Even I fell into the anti feminist gamer culture of the mid 2010's. The good news is my mom has actually not only come around, but done an amazing job of educating herself on intersectionality and not only becoming a fierce trans ally, but a better anti racist, and she is even moving farther away from a capitalist framework (still working on her internalized fear of socialism from growing up during the cold war, let alone leftism) So yeah, even white boomers can get it, if they choose to do the work.

I wish men would see how feminism BENEFITS THEM!

@x-man9473

10 ай бұрын

We don't see it because it doesn't exist. If feminism benefitted men, reality would speak for itself and wouldn't require women to constantly claim without substance that it benefits them.

@x-man9473

10 ай бұрын

@@DisPater-jt3hr Just off the top of my head. -Shared parenting bills. -Laws cracking down on parental alienation -Female perpetrators of sexual and domestic violence recognized by the law. All things that feminist groups have a history of fighting against and slandering.

🦋 I was also a former pick-me, thankfully during high school I had my moment of clarity. But I mourn so much for all the girly stuff and self-expression I missed while I was blinded by the drug of male acceptance. I grew up with guy friends and didn't have girl friends until 4th grade, which went terribly. Now I'm proud that the majority of my friends are ladies who I would go insane without. My sister went through the same fit of male acceptance seeking that I did, and the entire time I tried to assist. Eventually, I knew it couldn't be done until she found that clarity on her own, it sucks but it's liberating when you're finally cognizant of how wrong you were.

🦋 I'm a CIS-Male who has had a similar experience with the word Feminism. The quote from the video that felt like it needed to fully define the term whenever using it with somebody unfamiliar very much aligns with my current experience. I very much support intersectional movements, including feminism, as I am well and truly at the point where I am convinced that the only way to truly address any of these inequalities at their cause, rather than their symptoms, is to address the systems of 'identity' and 'expectation' that we currently use.

“It’s not fixed to a timeline it’s fixed to seeking equality” love that!🦋

🦋 thank you! Yes to everything! P.s. I appreciate that you don't use background music or sound effects. Thank you so much for these calm essays. KZreadrs with persistent background music cause me so much anxiety.

Personally, I have a mother, and I had two grandmothers, and at no point have I thought that I should deprive them of human rights or free will.

This is so awesome! I was scoffing at the people in the intro clips before the last one was running and I thought, "Wow, but I actually CAN understand (what these kids in the last clip) where they're coming from." Considering themselves "equalists" and all that isn't a bad thing in and of itself. It's how I also used to think as a young teen and also when coming into adulthood. It came with time, research, conversations, and introspection for me to understand what true feminism is versus the watered-down meaning it has become over the years, losing all meaning to those in search of answers. This realization allows me to have more compassion for people who have this perspective rather than feeling so angry about what their belief is that I can't possibly have a productive conversation with them about the topic. I appreciate your take on this topic👏 I recently read "Men Who Hate Women" by Laura Bates, and it has helped me find a lot of clarity and shocked me with facts around the topic of misogyny in today's world. I'd recommend to anyone interested.

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋 I used to be a pick me during my teens as well. When I was 24, it was the first time I was actually able to form real connections with other women apart from my best friend. I still struggle with it, because more often than not many women will leave me feeling that I am too much, or too loud, or too open with my thoughts and feelings. I used to blame them for us being incompatible, but nowadays I just respect those people for making the decision not to be my friend for whatever reason. I try to not judge, but uplift other women for what they do with their life. Your channel has also helped me heal with that.

🦋 thank you for always doing the research and recommending other creators and their work! See, while my feminism has definitely evolved to become intersectional, I have felt like I've been a feminist since I understood there was a difference in the way men and women (and boys and girls) are treated in society. And I also felt, even if some of it was shallow or capitalist feminism that I had role models in media to look up to. Sometimes I really scratch my head when I hear a fellow millennial not be a feminist (even though I recognize the 2000s all did a number on us) because if you were clued into pop culture at all there were so many movies, songs, books, etc that were empowering at least for baby me! I kid you not, the Spice Girls, Destiny's Child, Barbie, the American Girl Doll books, Babysitter's Club books... those were formative for me! It made me feel strong, like I could do anything, be anything I wanted, and how important FEMALE friendships are. And yes I grew up and realized it is all more complicated than that but I am so grateful to just some of the media that while shallow and imperfect at times I feel helped to inform my feminist identity.

My pick me phase was in middle school and literally went away as soon as I realized that I am a woman and will always be, no matter what I did & 2, when I realized I was a lesbian and didnt have to date or be with a man. Instant relief and awareness!!

I'm ready for the intersectional fourth wave 🦋

Great video! 🦋 I’ve found when I talk to someone who calls themselves some kind of non-feminist, they seem to argue against this pop-cultural idea of feminism rather than anything I’m actually saying which can be so frustrating

I've heard back and forth about whether we're in 4th wave, but never heard a good description of what separates 3rd from 4th wave. I've heard people say 4th wave is about intersectionality, but intersectionality has been a concept, albeit not always under that name, for quite a while, and while I think activists have gotten better at intersectionality, I think pop feminism is still pretty lacking in intersectionality beyond lip service. I think the description you gave involving the ways the internet has affected activism makes a lot of sense. Thanks for introducing me to that idea! I'm a trans man and I definitely went through an NLOG phase, and so did many of my friends in school (I'm 32, for context). Obviously it turns out I'm *not* a girl/woman, though that doesn't change either the harm of that narrative or how common it is. Kids don't have much experience and tend to mirror the behaviors and ideals they see, so going through that is part of growing up in a misogynistic society, IMO. I think you should celebrate that you grew past it rather than beating yourself up for having gone through it. As always, I appreciate your videos!

I think the word feminism is important, because feminine people/stereotypes are what's constantly under attack. "Feminine" is an umbrella that covers more than just one type of idea/person/race/class/gender. It's a word that's the counterpart to "Masculine", which covers so many different things too. And it's masculine beliefs that seem to pit themselves against the feminine all the time, in a very detrimental, oppressive, opposing way.

It's so sad to look at terfs literally harassing my compas and telling us we are "confused sisters" or "mans with skirt" and I don't even know where the hell this comes from, because the trans community also fight for sort of things the feminist fight for too

I've thought a lot about how folks are uncomfortable with the word "Feminism" and I wonder how much it has to do with the malignment of the feminine. As a fellow former pickme (aren't we all), I have had a rocky relationship with the feminine, and I've struggled with the feeling that feminity is "weak", "silly", "naieve", and overall cannot be taken seriously. By distancing oneself from "Feminism" and embracing "Equalism", folks might be on some level trying to be taken seriously. But that distancing in itself reflects the need for feminism, to see feminity as valuable as masculinity. Anyways, lovely video! 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Just recently my current bf and I were talking about my future career (I’m currently pursuing a PhD so we were looking at jobs that I might be able to work after graduation) and at the time he looked up the jobs I was interested and in every case there was the woman pay beside men pay being around 10,000 yen less than the men’s pay. It was the first time my bf had ever seen such thing (as a note we live in Japan where feminism isn’t largely discussed like in the US and where feminism are often seen as negative extremists). It sparked a really interesting conversation between us because I do have an intersectional experience of being a female foreigner in Japan so I do face two layers of minority statuses while he’s a native Japanese man, but at the same time I have higher level of education and come from a higher SES familial background (my parents were able to economically climb over the course of my life resulting in modern day financial success). It’s important to note that class stratification that actually roots in part to historical caste system makes a major impact on individuals in Japan . So it’s a very interesting dynamic of complicated social factors that I think a single perspective view (such as critical race or feminism on their own) can’t quite capture (hence the value in intersectional feminism). I think there is a problem with extremists that do things that undervalues feminine features (like stay at home moms and girly expressions) and can be quite hostile to men and this extreme faction takes over the view of feminism causing the actual victims of sexism and problems (like gender pay gap) to be ignored. At the same time, US has come a long way and is a lot better than say 30+ years which is something I think people need to remember. I mean my great grandmother was college educated but because she divorced her abusive alcoholic husband she was not allowed to be a teacher and forced to work as a maid her own life. Compare that to my grandma whose husband left her and she was pushed to move the Catholic Church and work her whole like to keep her children afloat. She faced less stigma than my great grandma having been able to continue to work in her line of work, but still suffered immense stigma. Then compare that to modern day where my aunt was able to divorce her husband and still continue pursuing her full career, get remarried, and be happy. However while it’s better, that doesn’t mean everything’s perfect and I disagree with people who resist working to make things better.

I'm not scared of the label, I just surpass it and now egalitarian is my prefer label. Especially as a disable woman who never felt part of any group, especially always left out of Feminist groups. I'm not against them, just against how selective they are towards the people they supposedly suppose to "protect and empowered." Feminism does not include all women, and those of us with disabilities didn't get full rights until 1990s and early 2000s, especially in education. People can trash talk all they want over NCLB 2001 and ESSA 2008, but those policies changed how individuals with disabilities are treated in the education system. Feminism didn't do sheet... we disabled women had to fight on our own, still do, just for basic respect respect and treatment, not to mention for equal rights. We are still not fully there. That is why I am for full egalitarian policies and movement.

My 'oh yeah we still need feminism' moment this week: went to get emergency contraception, stepped into the little pharmacist's consultation room which is designed just like a confession booth, joked 'haha it's just like talking to a priest'... the pharmacist says 'hardly' and writes me a prescription for the pill i need then 5 minutes later comes out and tells me 'there's no stock at this shop because of the religious views of the owner', offers to book me in for an iud i say no thank you to the invasive medical procedure with no anaesthetic, been there done that had chronic pain for a year, I'll get on a bus and go some place else. I'm in scotland, land of the free and still womens reproductive rights are a joke

I hadn’t gone through this phase, but in middle school I went through my “not like other girls” phase before coming to the realization that I was non-binary. I think that there’s a lot of internalized misogyny in a lot of people, especially younger people, because of society and I’m sad to say that I don’t know if it’s getting better. Before Roe V Wade I thought it was, but with how things are going I’m thinking we might not be doing as good as I had originally thought 😔

Commenting to boost the algorithm and because I really appreciate how in depth this breakdown was! Myself, as many others have stated, had gone through a pick me phase. Always ended poorly and *surprise surprise*, found myself being constantly disrespected and objectified both internally and externally. Always the good ole “oh I only have male friends bc *girls* are just way too emotional for me 🤡🤡” Anyways, thanks for a good watch!!🦋🦋🦋

I feel like most women have had a pick me phase at one point, me too. I wasn’t like other girls lmaoo. And that’s okay! It’s okay to grow as a person. I am a proud feminist, and I’ll stand on that. Nothing anything anyone can say to me will make me regress. Idc what is said about feminism or feminist. I’ll continue to fight for our rights to live happy, peaceful, SAFE lives along with my other women 🫶🏽 lastly…i don’t trust when that say they don’t need feminism or emphasize how they are sooooo not feminist

One of my survey responses was featured in the video and I’m so proud 😢

As a Gen X I’m so appalled at the anti feminist trend. My mother wasn’t allowed to wear makeup, wear jeans, etc. She fought so hard to become a doctor and get taken seriously even though she was brilliant at it. If women enjoy having their own credit cards, bank accounts, drivers licenses, jobs, voting rights, etc then thank feminists! And I think a lot of the anger at patriarchy is justified and there’s still a lot of work to do.

Lolol, when I saw Kurtis at 17:52 I was like what???? Did he do something bad??? But then realized that no, nope, those guys are just talking about feminism. Also amazing video! I loved it a lot, keep up a great work (Also also, you look gorgeous! So cute) 🦋

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

Unrelated but that tweet is so insanely spot on. I am just blown away

@olisa_hehe

10 ай бұрын

​@@sabsain2399true!

🦋 I think, even though it's hard, we have to have compassion for other women that put down feminism. I really think it's important to remember that patriarchy is forced on us from the day we're born and we're all in different places on our journey from breaking free of that (hopefully). I'm so hopeful for this new wave we're seeing now of intersectionality.

🦋🦋🦋. 65 yr old wt female here cheering on the continued March forward towards more equality for women to choose their own destiny’s. So proud of the young energy pushing for the rights of all women and fully using the voting booth to make their voices heard!!!

I love how thorough you are, and how you disclose your positionality also, you really explain things well, thanks for your content

I'm terrified, but I'll always believe that things get worse before they get better. Things are a terrible storm right now, and hopefully, we'll be in another few years of clear skies soon 🦋

@Booboothatfoobed

10 ай бұрын

Love this mindet

Always a great video 🦋

🦋Great video as always! Honestly, when I hear people (especially women) say that “what rights do women not have nowadays?” it is such a small-minded comment. Look at the many situations of women and female-identifying people around the world - even where I live in the US you can see it in your backyard with the repeal of reproductive rights, the workload women face and the lack of gratitude towards what they do. I’m hoping that this fourth wave of feminism will pick up steam in a positive way - right now, it’s taking its baby steps but it just needs to take some time before it does some great things 💕

Thanks for this wonderful video. I hadn't even heard that there was a 4th wave of feminism, so that's news to me. I think your work is great - subscribed! 🦋

As a Gen-X'er and in my personal experience I think the Spice Girls really helped dismantle the stereotypical image of a feminist that was popular at that time.

Love your videos!!❤❤ 🦋🦋

great video and thanks for the rising swelling wave and cocoon metaphors, it makes me feel hopeful that we will make progress more than being stuck in the mire

I empathise so much with this. Especially that horrible movie about “ists” being bad. Growing in the 90s-00s was so toxic 😖

I also didn't identify as a feminist in my early teens because of influences like Shoe0nHead. Thankfully, I got over that and now that I'm almost 20 I'm not afraid to say that I am a feminist 🦋

@Izzybella0707

10 ай бұрын

Omg same I used to be a anti-feminst who watched Shoe0nHead. I remember after I stopped watching her and other anti-feminist youtubers I realized we still need feminism. I feel like anti-feminist have a western centric view of the world and don't think or care about women in 3rd world countries. I've talked to people who straight up believe that women who live in Afghanistan and Iran aren't oppressed. Even in first world countries we get victim blamed and shamed. I remember when I actually first Interacted with feminist they were not misandrist at all. I hate the narrative the feminism is anti-men and now I'm a proud feminist.

the abortion ban shows perfectly how important feminism still is

12:21 background 🧸 Appreciate that you talk about this subject 🍀

As a autistic person, please don't bring up Madisyn Brown. She said some off tone things about the trans and neourdivergent community. Including bringing up Autism speaks as a source for her info on autism and speaking misinformation.

@BryonyClaire

11 ай бұрын

Oh dear, I didn't know that at all, she does listen to critique so I'm hoping she's changed her views since then because I haven't seen that come through in her videos

@sabsain2399

10 ай бұрын

​​@@BryonyClaire That content creator is problematic lmao. I already felt her vibe was extremely off

@sacrilegioussasquatch

10 ай бұрын

@@BryonyClaire it's ok, sometimes you just don't know, we all make mistakes

🦋 Former pick-me now a proud feminist here. Thank you for your content, I can see the great effort and care you put into your videos, keep up the outstanding job!

The most concise way I have ever heard that put - thank you 🦋

Thank you for defining the four waves clearly, as I always wanted to know more. A common sentiment I hear from young modern conservatives is "I support First and Second Wave Feminism, but Third and Fourth Wave is where they lost me." Why do you think this is?