Dr. C... I wish we could honor you with a Humanitarian award for all the good you have done for so many people...Thank you!!

Is it dense or arrogance ? I think it’s the latter. They will go to their grave before apologizing.

I've had this question running laps in my head for over 35yrs. I started trying to answer that question 5 years into the marriage with a covert narcissist, later sociopath, that has been the ex for a few years now. Took until year 26 to find one single book and 2 youtube channels that made mention of a covert narcissist and I finally knew that was what I was dealing with, but the dense question has always remained a puzzle to me.

The moment you start to empathize with them for being just scared children putting on a mask is the moment you will waste your entire life. These people will punch you in the face then call you crazy and abusive for reacting

It's definitely situational. One moment, 'I know everything!' The next moment, 'I know nothing!'

I think they are emotionally constipated. They feel awful inside… so they just sit in their misery until someone else figures it out for them. They take zero responsibility

They are above everyone else, so it doesn’t register that others matter too. Dense.

In my experience, narcs are focused on all that doesn't really matter

That arrogant smirk, the black eyes, the madness

It’s best to keep your distance from these people. They are toxic to your health and lack compassion and empathy. They are self absorbed and entitled and will always make you look bad and tell you you’re the problem. It’s so sad especially when one is in your family. I have cried so many tears but I know I can never help them.

Narcisists are dense, arrogant, entitled and blind to what real life is all about. Hopeless cases. Thank you dr Carter❤

My narc sister literally said she “would never do such a thing, bc she’s not that kind of person” when I told her what upset me before going no contact. She deflected and tried to triangulate, bringing in a third person, as well as blaming me in the end, that I “misheard” her. It’s like she can’t fathom the idea that she could be at fault for anything. It’s crazy making dealing with these people.

If they don't pretend they are too dense to understand their own actions, then they would have to admit to what they're doing.

I noticed that the narcissist is sometimes frustrated with his own denseness or mental limitations, then lacking anybody to blame he feels sorry for himself. 😳

My father was a Sociopathic Narsisist with Borderline. The damage he did to me and my sisters is unspeakable. I did survive and recovered. It took a long time. I'm convinced most people have no idea how scaring and traumatic an experience like this can be. Most times that I have tried to explain it I'm met with blank stares. I'm sure I'm not the only one!

I was wondering that today. If you tell someone you need extra room in the fridge and the next time you look there are 48 new bottles of beer jammed in there, what exactly is the motivation? I think it goes beyond stupidity because I think causing inconvenience is intentional. Looking for an argument? You're not going to get it from me because it'll satisfy your mental illness. Does it improve my ability to swear under my breath? Absolutely!

H came home from his therapy session last week to proudly announce to me that he had a warrior’s mindset, was not introspective and had no curiosity about those around him. It was his get out of jail free card. I told him thank you and that I already knew these things. And I told him to thank his therapist for me. He is utterly clueless to what he described about himself. They are that self deceived and therefore always unsafe to be around.

The projection is the ugliest part in my opinion. It’s what causes so much depression and loneliness in the actual victim. I stepped away for good from extremely toxic family but I’m tired. My body needs rest from all the gaslighting and living in the 4F models trying to survive. Every time I go back because I truly love them I’m set back in recovery. It’s like a toxic, dense, poisonous venom that infiltrates your spirit. I’m ready for rest, peace and true love… which I will give to myself first.

Dr C, I could tell how difficult it was for you to say the word 'stupid.' But stupid is as stupid does. I feel your empathy.

To say they’re dense is an understatement. These people can seem autistic in the sense that they dissociate themselves from reality.