Dave would 100% say, they are broke and don’t need to be spending 6k going to Italy to be in someone else’s wedding.

@Henry_Red

5 ай бұрын

Yeah, if thet get guilt-tripped once like this, just imagine what will happen next month when another friend or family member invites them to something really expensive that they can't afford. When does it end?

@hubruh

5 ай бұрын

Agreed. Dave would agree with jade. Participate stateside and let them know it's just not in the budget. That was a fantastic idea. Dave would have probably coached him on how to break the news and communicate, not debate how he can break being gazelle intense.

@frednapoleone437

5 ай бұрын

your "friend" asks you to spend 6k dollars to be in the wedding? maybe you need new friends. they have an out, they didn't have a honeymoon, couldn't afford it. @@hubruh

@dyates6380

5 ай бұрын

Agreed. Not only don't they need to be spending six grand on ANYTHING, they should not see the inside of a restaurant and ONLY shop at Aldi until they are debt free. Life will NOT be kind to these two if they don't get a grasp on finances. Proof that just having an "education" doesn't mean you're smart.

@AlexKaehler-qc8kd

5 ай бұрын

Well, as a German-Italian guy, I hope she comes. The ol Italian wedding 😈. See her and the girls out in Rome

What is with these people having destination weddings and expecting all of their friends and family to spend thousands of $ to attend, and even worse, shaming them when they don't want to (or can't) spend the money to attend?? Doesn't really sound like a good friend to me

@garfieldGG

5 ай бұрын

They might not actually be shaming them. But there’s sort of an inherent shame going on when you see all the friends that were able to afford it (or did it anyways) on social media.

@rabidgoon

5 ай бұрын

the clinical term is 'narcissism'

@jasonrodgers9063

5 ай бұрын

With friends like them, who needs enemies.

@Thurgor_Supreme

5 ай бұрын

My wife and I did a destination wedding, but we paid for everyone's flights and hotel rooms (which were all expenses included). We even threw in a free catamaran/snorkeling trip

@anniesshenanigans3815

5 ай бұрын

true. personally if I were invited I would say "sure but someone else has to pay for it since I am broke". I did this when I was in school. And you would be surprised at the friends that will pay for it.. and surprised at the ones that won't.

When he said they postponed their own honeymoon. I knew they had no business going to Italy. Jade is right on this one.

I’m with Jade 100% here. They’re TOO broke to go to Italy for someone else’s wedding. If the friend was actually a good friend she would understand that not everyone can afford attending her wedding. It’s kind of selfish to ask someone to be in a wedding knowing they have financial problems anyway.

@tidalwavestudio

5 ай бұрын

exactly this. a party for 6k when you are broke is ridiculous to even think about. To expect all your guests to travel the whole world to attend your wedding is selfish. Why not marry where your friends are and go on honeymoon to italy? They just impose problems onto their friends

@mariee.5912

5 ай бұрын

They just got married, too. No Italy if I were them.

@tashasmith1743

5 ай бұрын

Totally agree!! I would not feel comfortable getting married in Italy if others can't afford to go. So the bride and groom could pay for the bridal party to go if they want them there!

@NATEG01

5 ай бұрын

I would be a lot more considered about them only being able to pay $1000 a month towards her debt vs her going on this trip. They should be trying to increase their income or live more below their means.

@goofygirl1311

5 ай бұрын

@@tidalwavestudio I've got to agree. Laying out 6K for a trip to Italy qualifies in my book as a once in a lifetime trip. It's sort of nuts to expect others to incur that kind of expense on your behalf and revolve a trip like that around your wedding. There are destination weddings, like beach weddings, that can be done pretty reasonably. But that is not the case with this one. Team Jade.

Sound financial advice from Jade. I wouldn't spend $6,000 on someone else's wedding. I would spend $6,000 on a trip to Italy before I spent $6000 on my own wedding but not a friends😂

@theedesertmermaid

5 ай бұрын

@novakd1530 💯

@ancarlson7

5 ай бұрын

They should just spend $7,000 and stay 4 extra days and make it their honeymoon. You can do 4 days in Italy for $1000 easy.

No good friend expects others to pay their own way to a destination wedding. Pay their tab or have it alone.

@terriesmith2616

5 ай бұрын

Agreed. When I invite people to a party, to a get-together, or to a wedding, I pay for everything. I'm the one that's inviting people, it's only fair that I pay.

If you can’t afford to pay for all your guests travel, then you can’t really afford a destination wedding.

@WhiskeyActualTV

5 ай бұрын

Or you just don’t make your friends and family go that can’t afford it.

@charisginn6932

5 ай бұрын

@@WhiskeyActualTVexactly. I have a friend who is having his wedding at Disneyland. He called me upset because some of his family was refusing to go. 🤦‍♀️ it’s ok to have a wedding in an expensive place, but you have to be prepared for a lot of people to not be able to afford to come, or even just not want to. You can’t ask someone to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to come to a party (that’s literally all it is, is a party) and then be mad when they say no.

@MD-vm8tc

5 ай бұрын

Amen! It is SO entitled of people to expect others to attend their lavish party at their own expense.

@analyticalchick3064

5 ай бұрын

Or just elope as a destination wedding which would be honeymoon rolled into it.

@privacyplease1556

5 ай бұрын

That’s absurd. You’re responsible for your own transportation in every facet of life. If they can afford the venue, the food, the ceremony, they can afford the wedding. Just because you can’t afford to go to their wedding doesn’t mean they can’t afford their wedding

I mean, let's be real, destination weddings are just a way to weed out people from your guest list. Sometimes you're the one who's getting weeded out. Besides, how can you justify this trip after not even going on your own honeymoon? If she's really your friend she would get it, but at the end of the day, she's probably not that worried about you going either way.

@itchyisvegeta

5 ай бұрын

That's exactly why my wife and I had ours in Vegas. We sent out announcements, not invites. "You can join us in Vegas, but you won't be in the wedding."

@VBoo459

5 ай бұрын

Exactly why hubby and I are having ours in Italy (well, that AND hubbys family are all Italians based in Italy)

I agree with Jade. I’m a woman too. These out of country destination weddings are such a dumb idea. It is very, very selfish to expect people to spend thousands of their hard-earned dollars to be present at YOUR wedding! Bridal narcissism is such a drag.

I’m with Jade. I’m a woman, and I wouldn’t spend that kind of money to attend a destination wedding. My brother had a destination wedding. We told them “Congratulations, we’re happy for you, we’ll celebrate you and have a gift for you when you get back home.” A true friend would understand if you can’t attend due to financial constraints. Also, Ken, not every woman is so superficial to resent people for being MIA.

@Dicode

5 ай бұрын

Ok but the wife has already expressed that she wants to go. So you have to view the situation from the husbands shoes dealing with his wife, not as if you/jade are the woman.

@EsiriE

5 ай бұрын

@@Dicodethis is true

@gwenj5419

5 ай бұрын

Destination weddings are completely narcissistic and selfish. No one should expect anyone to spend all that money just to attend their wedding. Have the wedding at your home town and take your honeymoon in Italy.

@tylersanders2388

5 ай бұрын

You are in the wrong here. As a woman, you’ve never dealt with being in relationships with women. It’s better to make the sacrifice as a man than next time you argue being told that she gave up her friends just for some stupid debt

What Dave would say: “Y’all are broke people. Broke people don’t need to spend $6k to go on vacation. Beans and rice.”

She probably won't be seeing those friends more than once every couple years, if that. Wish Ken could disagree with Dave like that! I wanna hear him tell Dave to "keep it real".

@Henry_Red

5 ай бұрын

I'm imagining the whole situation with Dave there. As an authority figure, Ken would've had to say: "you are right Dave; they are broke and can't afford this trip right now."

@anniesshenanigans3815

5 ай бұрын

right!? since they are not 'best' friends (she's not the maid of honor) after they are married, things go in different directions.

Don't go, it's ridiculous for these people to expect others to do this!!

I will never understand how you can throw a wedding and ask your friends to pay for ANY part of it. They’re doing you a favor just by showing up. Asking them to pay for ANYTHING, flight hotel activities dress shoes I don’t care, is just absurd.

@hollystiener16

5 ай бұрын

exactly and then you need to buy a gift

@theydontknowmeson007

5 ай бұрын

So if you have an out of state family? You're paying their plane ticket?

@JillBrewerVideos

5 ай бұрын

A Courthouse wedding could be very romantic….

@dragonuv65

5 ай бұрын

@@theydontknowmeson007 That is entirely different than saying, "Hey everyone! We are going to have our wedding out of the country."

@analyticalchick3064

5 ай бұрын

We got married at a place called the Hitching Post across the street from the county office where we got the paperwork. My dress was a cute silver cocktail dress on sale for like $50. We invited guests out to a restaurant after. We only had like 5 guests, two came out to eat with us. My in-laws sent us a check, but they still live in Illinois where my husband is from and couldn't come. Other than that, I don't think we got gifts. One of the guests took pictures on my cell phone and we paid $25 extra for the pastor to take pics, but didn't need it because of the pics on the phone. It was so much cheaper getting married as introverts. People really should try introversion as a money saving tactic.

Not spending any money on your own honeymoon was the deal breaker and with that, they should both not go. Their decision will certainly test their marriage.

@mrjack8849

5 ай бұрын

I agree with this. Unless they wanted to go to Italy for their honeymoon anyway…

Jade's right and its not even close. If you can justify a 6k vacation wedding when you're 100k in debt you will have an excuse for everything and stay in debt forever.

Ken got "Jaded" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@michaelarhin7842

5 ай бұрын

Underrated comment😂

@Goose00123

5 ай бұрын

😂😂

I would be ashamed to ask my friend that unless i paid the flight and hotel and dress

As a great-great-grandma - none of my large family would even consider going to Italy for another's wedding! Jade is 100% right, Ken. A lovely shower is a perfect gift and will be appreciated so much more in the future than the memory of 20 minutes in the spotlight. The future bride and groom can go to Italy and will be just as married without any friends going along.

Jade is right. Especially since they just started Baby step 2… if you start making exceptions now for lavish spending, they will make exceptions for everything and never get out of debt. They can’t afford to go

@RJweblink

5 ай бұрын

Couldn't agree more.

Jade is 100% correct. Destination weddings are so presumptuous. My wife is also with Jade. Can’t afford it - you don’t go.

I’m a woman. If my best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in a wedding overseas, I’d have to politely decline, but I’d offer to still contribute to her bridal shower, bachelorette party, and maybe even whatever I would’ve budgeted for the dress to be distributed amongst the other girls to help offset the costs for them. It’s great that a couple can afford an extravagant wedding, but they can’t expect everyone else to be able to afford to attend unless they pay the cost for guests and the wedding party.

I’m with Jade. If a couple wants to have a destination wedding, more power to them. They just better be ready for a lot of people to decline attending due to cost if they are expecting them to foot the bill.

I'm with Jade on this... Who cares how she feels she'll get over it...Getting out of debt is an extremely intentional act... They didn't go in their own honeymoon in the name of getting out of debt so why is a homegirl wedding more important? Once you start drawing lines in the sand about what's acceptable and what's not that sets the foundation moving forward....

@jfilliaplays

5 ай бұрын

exactly. at the end of the day they will be the ones left with trip expenses and falling farther behind. this needs to be a hell no.

@Henry_Red

5 ай бұрын

The answer should be "we can't afford this" instead of "who cares how she feels." It's his wife. You can't be that cold.

@hollystiener16

5 ай бұрын

Exactly. If the wife is going to have a resentment, then she needs to grow up.

@johnwilburn

5 ай бұрын

She gave up her own honeymoon for someone else's. You're not talking about rationality here.

@angel-ij4xv

5 ай бұрын

she better not go she is going to regret it

Sorry Ken but Jade is right... I understand Ken's point however, clearly the wife is not truly commited to the Baby steps process if they're just starting the debt snowball and she is already willing to go an additional 6K in debt to go to a "4 year friends" wedding.

Jade is right on this. Her objective financial advice beats Ken's narrow stereotype of women, and Jade is living proof of being ABOVE that stereotype. 🤷🏻‍♂️

@user-hn3vk2wu5f

5 ай бұрын

I mean he could of worded it better but if it’s her best friend that definitely means something

@Kid_Legend_4_Life

5 ай бұрын

PRO JADE

@my_slifestyle_2667

5 ай бұрын

I agree with Jade but he's also right about how women are. Some women will hold not being at the wedding against the husband and some wives might be understanding it just depends. I can't say it's too crazy because there was a lady that went viral for taking the family momey ment for a surgery for a beyonce concert.

I think it is very presumtuous for a "friend" to plan a "destination wedding" that is going to cost the participants thousands of dollars to attend. Sounds as though someone is a "princess'" who has never been told "NO". Even if they were not $97k in debt, I wouldn't do it. Friends do not do this to their friends.

@droid2D2C3P0

5 ай бұрын

For all you know she's marrying an Italian with family in Italy that can't fly.. pretty presumptuous of YOU to assume the bride is expecting anyone to go or has and selfish intentions? You get an invite you get to choose whether you go or not. That's it. Bride and groom can have their wedding wherever the fuck they want guilt free as long as they don't pressure guests to attend or resent them if they choose not to go

@Excalibur2

5 ай бұрын

​@@droid2D2C3P0if that's the case, then I'm sure they'd be understanding if their out-of-country friends didn't attend, so the guy needs to cancel

@HaroldGuthrie-qc3xb

5 ай бұрын

Being married period is too complicated. But do it if you must. I guess. (From happily single person)

@lkj0822g

5 ай бұрын

@@droid2D2C3P0 Except that is not how is was presented by the caller, was it? The caller didn't say "my wife's friend is marrying a guy from Italy and the wedding will be in Italy". Even so, it is a huge leap to expect friends and family to fork over thousands of dollars to attend their wedding.

@droid2D2C3P0

5 ай бұрын

@@lkj0822g what 😂 just because he didn't go into excruciating and unnecessary detail doesn't mean it's not the case lmao. You completely missed the entire point I made congrats on your density.

He starts deviating from the plan now like this and it will be a habit for years to come thus delaying the main quests because side quests look more fun.

These folks should just have a "family" wedding in Italy and then have a large party in someone's back yard when they get home for everyone to celebrate!!

Jade is right that they shouldn’t do this as they don’t have the money. Ken is right that his wife will use this against him by telling her friends that he’s “abusive” and “controlling” that he won’t let her spend thousands of dollars for a friend’s wedding that they don’t have.

@linuxsurfer2002

5 ай бұрын

It's a tough call. We needed more info on their finances. Can they scrape together an extra $3k by working extra shifts or something?

@FrankS111

5 ай бұрын

@@linuxsurfer2002 not a tough call. They don’t go because they don’t have the money and are massively in debt. Period. If she wants them to go, she can work extra hours or side jobs to pay it off.

@hollystiener16

5 ай бұрын

@@FrankS111 This is the only option IMO

@SteveC484

5 ай бұрын

@@FrankS111yeah right 😂

@cesaravegah3787

5 ай бұрын

The moment a wife uses the world "abusive" the marriage es half death

Destination weddings get a huge NOPE from me no matter where it is, and we are debt free. There is no way I'm shelling out big bucks to go anywhere for anyone's wedding, period. If the couple wants to go somewhere, go for it! Just don't expect me to pay big bucks, time off work, etc to go to your party. If the wife in this scenario wants to go, SHE should be the one to work extra hours to pay for it. (This perspective coming from a woman).

I personally would go Jade's route, and I feel like most of this audience would too because we're all like-minded, but you do have to consider this guy's wife and her personality. They should have asked the guy how he thinks his wife would react to the different options. I mean, she didn't go on her own honeymoon in ANTICIPATION for this trip to Italy, so she might really be looking forward to it. She already did some sacrificing and I think she's already set on going, so Ken definitely has a point.

Jade is correct, they can’t afford it! And if they do go then the next time something like this comes up it becomes easier to make similar excuses to go and spend money they can’t afford on something else! It may become a pattern in their lives that will affect their financial future!

I had a destination wedding and I just told people who I wanted to invite “look, I understand it’s expensive and it’s a long way away, you’re invited if you want but don’t feel obligated”. Worked out fine for us and it was super stress free because it was super small.

@taylorspastpresent1014

5 ай бұрын

Very awesome idea

imagine asking your friends to spend $3,000 to come to your wedding

@linuxsurfer2002

5 ай бұрын

Actually $6000, right?

@jaybah836

5 ай бұрын

Yeah I don't even think the bestest of friends would do that

@dnah02

5 ай бұрын

I ended up spending about half of that for my cousin's wedding and it was a bad time for me financially and physically to go. It did catch me by surprise when it was changed from October to may. I went but after that I said no more travel until I get my financial goals in order.

@rabidgoon

5 ай бұрын

but imagine the instagram photos!!

@enricopallazzo3244

5 ай бұрын

They probably don’t want people to come.

I’m on jades side, my niece got married in one of the islands about 10 years ago, it would have been 2,500_3,000, for me and my hubby to go… we couldn’t afford it and didn’t go, she understood, and guess what, I never regretted it.

As a woman and a wife, I'm with Jade here. They skipped their own honeymoon to work towards these financial goals, but now wife wants to sacrifice their goals for her friend's destination wedding. That sort of feels like the friend is higher up in priority than her husband.

How many OTHER best friends will exert this same social pressure?

Wow this is a tough one, and I love how the hosts handled it. I do think it's a risk to not go, the wife may resent it. Then again, Jade is spot on that if they make an exception now, they will probably keep on making exceptions, then before they know it they will be back on the debt bandwagon. Also, if he doesn't go, I don't think it will save as much as Jade thinks. She mentioned $3000, but the main savings would be his flight. She still needs the same room that they would get as a couple. I think it will still cost the wife $4500 or so if she goes alone. I wish we knew a little more about their financial situation. To me, these overseas weddings are way over the top, so I personally would not go. I'm pretty sure my wife would be on the same page (but could be wrong)

@MsMockingbird06

5 ай бұрын

I absolutely agree and I think that them only being able to afford to put $1000/month on $97,000 of debt gives some insight on their finances. I personally would never have a destination wedding bc it puts too much financial strain on the people you want to attend and be in the wedding.

@hollystiener16

5 ай бұрын

@@MsMockingbird06 I agree. If you are having a destination wedding and you want someone to be in your bridal party, you MUST offer to pay for them.

@resaboutb.9566

5 ай бұрын

Hmmm ... do we really need to more about the caller's financial situation than already being $97K in debt?

@mariee.5912

5 ай бұрын

That's not though for me. They're broke stay home.

@rrrealitycheck

5 ай бұрын

Basing your decision on whether or not someone will resent you isn’t a good way to make a decision. The husband shouldn’t be held hostage over the threat of resentment. That’s pure manipulation.

Jade is right but the twist that got overlooked was he said they didn't take a honeymoon because this wedding was supposed to be it. The wife will feel like he took that away from her as well. Seems like she may not be committed to "living like nobody else so they can live like nobody else.'

@kaylean39

5 ай бұрын

That’s what I gathered, financially I don’t think they’re on the same page and he seems like the kinda man to give into her more often than not. The follow up call in five years will be interesting

@AmberCaprie

5 ай бұрын

@@kaylean39 Agree 💯

@MrCleanMachine48

5 ай бұрын

Once I heard the they already had 3,000 saved and they received money as gifts from families/ friends from their wedding, I knew they were going, this call is for show.

Not only is Jade right, but she's SO right that Ken, the caller, and the caller's wife all know that she's right. You can't afford a $6,000+ trip to Italy when you're $97,000 in debt. It doesn't take a math or financial genius to know that. Ken is right to consider the wife's feelings in the scenario, but that's what most personal finance (and fitness for that matter) comes down to: What feels good right now, vs. what's best for you in the long run. Are those 4 days worth the long-term hit to your financial situation? They're currently putting $1K a month per debt, which means in a BEST case scenario, they can save up that money without taking on more debt, but then they're spending the same on a 4-day trip for someone else's wedding what could have saved them half a year in additional debt payments. People spend far too much on their own weddings, let alone spending this much on someone else's. If you ARE going to have a destination wedding, you need to understand what kind of a financial burden you're asking those who attend to shoulder. You need to respect that not everyone can attend, and if you're asked to attend one that you can't afford, you should have enough self-respect to politely decline, even if you'd love to be there.

This is probably the best back and forth Ramsey short between hosts I’ve seen. Jade is taking the logical/factual perspective (traditionally a male POV). Ken is empathizing with the emotional view most women take. While the wife going to the wedding doesn’t make financial sense, the emotional toll of being told do not go and the corresponding resentment would be worse on the relationship. If you have to make financial exceptions for once in a lifetime or emergency situation then make the decision and commit to frugality after the event.

Well I never… I agree with Jade for once. She’s spot on here. For some people, $6000 is knocking them a year off track!

I am a woman and I am definitely with Jade on this one. My husband would be the one to want to go and I’d be like no freaking way. Ken is ridiculous on this and I can’t even believe he’s on this show with this advice.

@lawrence-juniornalty

5 ай бұрын

I think his perspective has some merit. It's possible that the caller's wife could hold some resentment at not being able to go, especially since she's probably looking forward to this trip as a little honeymoon of their own. Both views are reasonable

@MachaLatte123

5 ай бұрын

@@lawrence-juniornaltyIt may be true that the caller’s wife may already be harboring some resentment for not having the honeymoon. But if they are already so broke, they had no business going further into debt to have that expensive wedding in the first place leading to the current situation. I don’t understand why people NEED to have an expensive wedding when they cannot even get rid of their debt in the first place, and going to Italy is just an extension of the misbehavior. If Dave were around he would have laughed and called out the caller being broke and having no business spending money they don’t have.

@fc-ik4ni

5 ай бұрын

​@@lawrence-juniornaltyif he let's his wife go alone he will be both broke and cheated on

A lot of us women feel like Jade. I do not think of my wedding on a regular basis. And, I almost never think of a friend’s wedding. I’m with Jade.

@gailrodgers3079

5 ай бұрын

I have been to two weddings in the last 22 years. The one couple took 6 months to send out thank you notes, Apparently in our world these days thanks you notes are no longer required to be sent within 6 weeks if at all. My son shelled out close to $1K to go to a nieces wedding that was highfaluting. He never got a thank you note and they were divorced within 2 years! My current husband and I got married 22 years ago and even with us both working we had our thank you notes out within a week or two as to me that is very important. I also went to a niece's wedding where I made her dress, the ring bearer pillow, my husband repaired the church piano and played the music. When her sister got married about 10 years laterr, my health didn't permit outings like that anymore, but they were having a potluck for the reception, so I got them casserole dishes and sent them to the wedding filled with food and a note attached to them to be sure they got the dishes. We had a thank you note in hand within a week, I was impressed. I tend to think of my first marriege fairly often as it should have never taken place. I see posts online that talk about horrible spouses, so the memories come back. The memories between my first wedding and this one is like night and day. Our anniversary is Valentines Day so this time of year it is easy to remember. I can't even remember the actual date of my first wedding. Talk about trying to bury memories of bad times. One of the not so bad things at my first wedding was his mom had to practically drag him by the ear to the wedding cake so we could cut it since he was ignoring me when I said we had to go do it. He didn't like cake so didn't want to cut it and have one small bite.

@gailrodgers3079

5 ай бұрын

I have been to two weddings in the last 22 years. The one couple took 6 months to send out thank you notes, Apparently in our world these days thanks you notes are no longer required to be sent within 6 weeks if at all. My son shelled out close to $1K to go to a nieces wedding that was highfaluting. He never got a thank you note and they were divorced within 2 years! My current husband and I got married 22 years ago and even with us both working we had our thank you notes out within a week or two as to me that is very important. I also went to a niece's wedding where I made her dress, the ring bearer pillow, my husband repaired the church piano and played the music. When her sister got married about 10 years laterr, my health didn't permit outings like that anymore, but they were having a potluck for the reception, so I got them casserole dishes and sent them to the wedding filled with food and a note attached to them to be sure they got the dishes. We had a thank you note in hand within a week, I was impressed. I tend to think of my first marriege fairly often as it should have never taken place. I see posts online that talk about horrible spouses, so the memories come back. The memories between my first wedding and this one is like night and day. Our anniversary is Valentines Day so this time of year it is easy to remember. I can't even remember the actual date of my first wedding. Talk about trying to bury memories of bad times. One of the not so bad things at my first wedding was his mom had to practically drag him by the ear to the wedding cake so we could cut it since he was ignoring me when I said we had to go do it. He didn't like cake so didn't want to cut it and have one small bite.

@chicanoazteca8614

5 ай бұрын

​@novakd1530no, I think it's because his wife wears the pants around the house.

Im a woman and Im with Jade. Ken is overestimating the ~woman~ thing. Of course friends weddings are important, but honestly if the friend cared, she would have covered some of the financial costs. Everyone I know who had a destination wedding did it because they DIDNT want people to come. Not because they wanted people to overextend themselves. Imo that kind of stuff is a luxury.

@Jarlus

5 ай бұрын

Exactly. It's not always the most pleasant lesson to learn, but there are times when you need to understand that friends/family aren't always thinking about where you're at in life with these things, or don't even particularly care because it's not about you, it's about them.

Jade out here givin’ the “HELP ME” face in the last 25 seconds of this clip had me rolling.

Jade is right. Didn't do your own honeymoon to be in the future social media pics for someone else's wedding??😂😂🙄

This was SO GOOD!!! I can see it BOTH ways!! Wish we could talk to BOTH people in this scenario.❤ Great call!!

@hubster4477

5 ай бұрын

There is no both ways, they cant afford a nice car, they couldnt afford their own wedding, and they cant afford a trip to italy.

If this newly married couple is already having conflict over something this silly, I don't give the marriage much of a chance. But I did like the fun argument between Jade and Ken.

A lot of people overspend because they make everything a “special” occasion (birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, graduations, family vacations, etc.)

Here’s something to think about. If they go ahead and go to Italy, what’s the chance they communicate they are available for other destination weddings?

@sharonfleshman6961

5 ай бұрын

And they did imply that it was "wedding season" in their life. Excellent point.

Our go to wedding gift has always been $100 cash in a card and finding out what their favorite spirits are and we buy them each a large bottle of their favorite spirits. This is something we give whether we attend or not. As for this situation I would send them an early gift, wish them the best of luck with their future but this trip just isn’t in the cards for us right now

Gotta agree with my girl, Jade, on this one. It only STARTS at $6000 for the trip. She still has to pay for the bridesmaid's dress, the wedding gift, the bachelorette party, the wedding rehearsal, the post-wedding celebratory whatever... The list goes on. It's going go cost them SO much money and it's not even their own wedding. I'd be really interested to know if her friend was in her wedding or not.

It’s past time to cancel destination weddings.

If it were Dave, he would say nope with no arguments from the peanut gallery. But after doing the baby steps and having things come up like an injury with 5k in deductibles and replacing the a/c system at 7k... I can see there must be some compromise... BUT I don't see a wedding as an emergency expense ESPECIALLY since they did not do a honeymoon because they wanted to get out of debt!! She is just in the 'I have had enough of this" phase and just wants to go back to old habits. They need to get on the same page and either do it or not.

HANDS DOWN, Jade ! With all the money she and hubby paid off they know the " feel " of winning

When you have an on location wedding in EUROPE!!! you need to be okay with some people not going due to finances. I just attended a wedding in Cancún and I had to use my vacation budget for the year to go for 3 days with my wife and kids

"I'm still marinating..." I love it, I love it!

I love these two together 🤣

Life is easier being single.

Great discussions!

If you have a wedding out of country, you just need to be prepared for people to say no. Not many people can afford a trip to Italy.

Ken is right !

Alright, here goes my 2 cents on it. You have to evaluate your relationship with the bride and groom, because it can happen that you will spend this money on their wedding, and have a huge fight with then after, and end up with a bitter taste in your mouth because you spent a money that you didn't have in somebody's wedding. Some things are worth the effort, but some things can turn into a curse in your life. I know how is that, I'm also on baby step 2, and I've learned that some things aren't worth the time/financial investment.

Go on the trip and stay a little extra and make it your honeymoon. You can add an extra $1k and stay 8 days total. Just stay at inexpensive airbnbs or hotels outside of the wedding. My two best friends and I planned to go to the World Cup in 2014 in Brazil. One of the friends backed out last minute due to cost concerns while the other two of us went. It was literally one of the best times in our lives and a completely unforgettable experience (we did the trip on the cheap, but the flight was still $1k). He still regrets not going to this day because we’ll never have a trip like that in our mid 20s again. All 3 of us are now married with plenty of money. You can always make more money, but you can’t go back and be there for your friends even with millions of dollars.

Narcissism is out of control. This girl should only go if the bride's parents pay her way. It's absurd to expect people to pay their way to your child's wedding on another continent. They are making bad decisions. Nick already said they spent too much on weddings last year. AND we find out they skimped out on their OWN honeymoon to be able to make this trip? Nahhhhh, Nick. Don't go. Y'all are making bad decisions. This trip is going to cost you almost our entire annual budget for vacations and we're on BS7. You need to make tough decisions as a team. Jade's idea was good. Stay here but do something special with 1k or so here. A party, a fun night out, fancy dinner, something. Ken is right that she will resent him, that's why it needs to be her decision. Acquiescing to an illogical person just to keep them happy is not a long-term solution.

This call was awesome! Both have solid points.

I think Jade is right. And it sounds to me like the husband is underestimating the price. If the tickets alone are $4000, I don’t see how the rest of the expenses will only be $2000 more, especially with the wife being a bridesmaid. Bottom line, I think the husband will have to be a man here and draw the line, especially if FOMO is driving the wife’s contention here.

He needs to learn how to put his foot down now with his wife, or he will get walked on his entire marriage. This is how student loans end up staying with you until you're 50. There will always be a wedding, vacation, holiday or some other justified want that becomes an excuse to prolong debt. Besides, asking your friends and family to fly to Italy for your wedding when statistically you will be divorced in 7 years or less is the definition of narcissism.

If they “pause the debt and save up” to go to the wedding, they will always be willing to “pause the debt and save up” for the next thing they think is a good idea..

Setting the tone is 100% correct. If you make an exception on what you will go into debt for, you will never stop. 6k is stupid money for 4 days.

Life is short and if she’s a really good friend who will be friends for life let her go on the trip only or just go together. As a part of their honeymoon. When they’re still friends in their 40s 50s she will regret missing her friends wedding

@resaboutb.9566

5 ай бұрын

The ladies could also have a falling out over who stole the other's first choice baby name, and come to despise each other! In a scenario like that, caller's wife will always resent spending that money on her ex-friend's wedding. Genuinely chuckling here. First world problems, right?

I would never have a wedding or a party and then invite people but don't pay for them. I could never do that. If it's my wedding, my party, and i invite people to come, I PAY FOR EVERYTHING. I don't expect others to pay just to attend _MY_ party.

Making these exceptions are what get people into debt

Good battle between the hosts❤❤❤❤❤

First I'd be wondering why this wedding has to be in Italy. What's the reason for that? If it's so the 'best friend' can have her princess for a day party & is blowing money they don't have for this wedding, then I'd say both don't go. If there's some real reason, like the friend's extended family is from Italy or her fiance is from Italy, then I'd be fine with the wife going & me staying home. If most of the caller's debt is low-interest debt like student loans & they make a good combined income, I'd be okay with both of them going for a meaningful wedding.

@hollystiener16

5 ай бұрын

There is nothing wrong with her wanting to marry in Italy, but she cannot expect people to go. This bride should be paying for people to attend

Go to Italy. Awesome trip. I'm with Ken.😊

@Henry_Red

5 ай бұрын

Obviously everyone wants to go. But the question is, can they afford it? Are we really supposed to expect broke people to spend 6K on someone else's wedding?

I love that Ken shared his opinion and not just the Ramsey opinion but Dave is going to yell at him for this one.

@resaboutb.9566

5 ай бұрын

Interestingly, if Ken and Dave were together on this call, Ken wouldn't have had the opportunity to chime in.

Destination weddings are frequently very expensive and tacky too. Expecting people to spend money they don’t have to validate their “special day” is very inconsiderate and selfish.

I started out agreeing with Jade... BUT did yall catch what he said!? He said that Italy is where they wanted to go for THEIR honeymoon, that they postponed (due to the cost). With that one fact, I think it actually makes sense (if they're both on board), to make the trip for the wedding AND plan some other stops, for their honeymoon. OR they decline the wedding altogether, and just continue to save for THEIR own Italy trip. He just really needs to gauge where HER priority lies (if it's mostly with the friend, or a trip to Italy).

@Thurgor_Supreme

5 ай бұрын

Spending $6k minimum when you're broke will never make sense

@MsMockingbird06

5 ай бұрын

The latter makes more sense. He’s rightfully being considerate of her feelings, but I think that he should express his concerns about going to the wedding, explain how it will impact their finances, layout the plan for them to go to Italy when they can afford it, and help her brainstorm alternatives ways to help her friend.

@hollystiener16

5 ай бұрын

I would not want my honeymoon that I didn't take because I didn't have the money to be at someone else's wedding when I still do not have the money for that either.

@positvelyexpectant1383

5 ай бұрын

But would it be an actual honeymoon though of a trip dictated by planned wedding activities?

I’m with Ken. Let the wife go alone.

Not sure how you even have this conversation without talking about income. If they make $50k combined, probably not. If they make $200k combined, $6k really isn't that big of a deal.

Great video. Love how Ken pushed back and had a dialogue with jade

As someone who eloped instead of having a wedding to purchase property I think wife is also hoping to use this time in Italy as honeymoon/friends wedding. He says $6k minimum, before travel, for all we know that could be the stay only. They’re looking at $10-$15k for this trip. I think the time away together is an investment in their own lives. But it’s not the best financial decision. Jade’s right and had the best alternative for not going, stateside party would be great for anyone that can’t travel. Ken is also right because this can impact the future of their relationship, especially if they never have their own honeymoon.

@RoquitaJohnson

5 ай бұрын

I agree with you that Jade gave solid advice with the alternative suggestion. I also agree that this does have the potential to affect their relationship. The wife may definitely feel resentful towards him. That does happen. No one is saying she is right to feel that way and should spend the money (I’m not anyway). Just that this is a reality that could happen for some couples.

@somethingfunny6867

5 ай бұрын

man Americans live on a different planet. 1500 a night is 5 star suits. tui (uk travel agency) do £1000 for 4 nights including flights. and only have 4 (of 280) over $6000

Idiotic takes, answer is they can't afford it period. If that affects the marriage, then it looks like they chose the wrong partners.

I would never asks friends to commit that much money to my wedding, and I wouldn't have a wedding where my honeymoon is supposed to be.

When he said they put their own honeymoon on hold for this wedding. I was like HELL NO!

You only live once. Make the trip to Italy your honeymoon. What is their income?

@Observer100-cn7gv

5 ай бұрын

*their

@lionmangolf

5 ай бұрын

@Observer100-cn7gv yes I know how to spell but auto correct got me & I didn't catch cause I'm dealing with the flu bug.

Ken is right! 😂

I am a woman too and i had few girl friends who asked me to attend their wedding, child's baptism etc but if i know i cant go, then i dont. What i normally do is to gift them with cash. i also had my own wedding and not everyone went but them sending their gifts in a form of cash or things are still very much appreciated

Ken's right, the wife will bring up not being able to go for DECADES to come in every financial argument.

Ken is right. In the next 6 months they can save 3k easily. The caller also mentioned that they anticipated this wedding and saved 3k for it, so problem solved. Hang back and let the wife go and support her friend because if she doesn’t, that’ll put a strain on her friendship and her wife is going to be very resentful.

@hollystiener16

5 ай бұрын

If it puts a strain on their friendship, that is no friend

@robloxvids2233

5 ай бұрын

They can't save 3k. They can't save anything until that 97k goes away. That's the point.

Ken has a moment where he’s in a debate….and hes right! 😮 😮 😮

@linuxsurfer2002

5 ай бұрын

Only cause Dave is not on this segment, lol

@garfieldGG

5 ай бұрын

@@linuxsurfer2002 a W is a W

I'm with Jade!!!! I'm surprised that Ken didn't say "Happy wife happy life" hahhahha. Stay home and eat a Margarita pizza in their honor!!!

He's right

I say pause the baby steps, and go to Italy! Life is too short. They will get back on track, and they have six months to save up. It’s not like they plan on charging the whole thing. They wanted Italy for their honeymoon anyway. I’m not sure Jade was even hearing him at that point.

@countdown2xstacy

5 ай бұрын

I agree ! I’m going to Italy with my girl ! Lol

@rabidgoon

5 ай бұрын

Doesn't sound like he has any interest ina trip to italy so your 'life is too short' remark only serves one side of the equation at the detriment of the life of the other side.

@Thurgor_Supreme

5 ай бұрын

This is exactly the mentality that keeps broke people broke. One rationalized spending spree leads to another and to another... and all the sudden "debt snowball" has a new meaning

Ken is right on this

Honestly...if someone has an out of country wedding...don't expect everyone to make it. Freaking absolutely ridiculous

Go to Italy and mix in your honeymoon. The fact that he is stressing about this shows that he has the right mindset to work through it.