I have strong expectations, but I often don’t follow through. I keep giving kids chance after chance to change their behavior. Because of this, I find myself being “too nice” and not serving them well. I want to start sticking to my consequences and having conversations with students about that. Instead of *another* conversation about how they can fix their behavior, I will have a conversation about my mission for their success. Sometimes, that includes consequences they won’t like.

@noellepatel9589

10 ай бұрын

Jessica! This is me!!! I used to be more of a passive aggressive jerk in the beginning, when a kid pushed me too far. Now I just give all the chances because I’m so understanding. But that doesn’t really teach them anything, because that’s not really how it works is it? Now I am in year 22 and I do put my foot down sometimes but it is not consistent at all.

@mmenguyen5648

6 ай бұрын

This is very relatable. Thank you for sharing. As long as we want to change, every day, we will.

I’m in my third year of teaching. Always reflecting and watching myself grow. With my senior students, I tend to be more relaxed and this “caring” nature that I bring into the classroom turns into one of mateship. I often wonder if students start to lose interest in work and are there just to hang out. I never cross the boundary of professional and personal but students do come with concerns which I’d say are often considered inappropriate for school. (I know Ive ranted a little, but I was trying to give context) 😅 Basically it had gotten to a point where some students with promise were being defiant and the top students in my class were asking me if they should move to a different classroom. I was in denial for so long that they were engaging and it was eye opening that I’d let it slip for so long. The more well-being the less engagement with content. Not saying one is more important than the other but it’s a balance. I was questioning myself, my students, everything. I used to watch your videos when I was at university, even sent questions in and you’d reply promptly with advice. 3 years later I came back and saw this at the top of my feed, like a sign from god or the universe or maybe Oprah. The part about care and why you have to be assertive really spoke to me. I had my own minute of reflection, made notes on why is it that I am like this (with a positive mindset), students respect me enough to confide in me, I want what’s best for them, etc. so I went back to my classroom, sorted out a seating arrangement and explained this comes from a place of care and wanting them to be their best in the subject as well as respecting those they work with too. I’d say engagement has improved drastically, I haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings, it went better than ever. I’d say I was apprehensive because I didn’t wanna upset my students but this was such a positive experience for me. Thank you so much, you’re a great teacher!

This is definitely me. And I often err on the side of too nice and have to check myself. I have to remind myself of that primary goal-you expressed it well!

Great advice. Something I'm learning as a first-year teacher. I love being silly and fun with my kids, and they know I'm kind, but they also have to know that I'm serious about behaviors and consequences. My biggest win so far has been earning the respect of my two most difficult students and seeing a radical shift in their behavior. It pays to be consistent. Not only with consequences, but with my attitude. No matter the bad behaviors, or how upset the kids are with me when I hold them accountable, the kids have to see I still care about them. That makes a huge difference.

This is literally almost made for me lol, Growth is needed and inevitable. Consistency is key.

This is so timely! I struggle with being myself (who I am around everyone else) and being the teacher who needs to keep control of distracting behaviors. I love to have fun, but lately I’ve had to act much more serious in the classroom. I don’t think I’ll have to be this serious forever. (I hope not!) But I know it’s been confusing for the kids when to let loose and when to get serious. I’ve made a hard rule that no one talks during instruction unless I’ve called on them. Ideally it would be more of an open discussion, but it’s just too disruptive with certain classes. I felt a “win” today when I broke out in song during math, the students laughed, and we kept right on going. Phew!!! Thank you for this reminder that I’m not mean…I just need to keep the goal in mind - educating and helping them know who God made them to be.

@tsdlrr

8 ай бұрын

Yes!

Realizing that the kids will be ok and will respect you if you follow up with a consequence. As you said it best, don't fold. Love your vids, Reynolds. Thanks man!

As you said don't fold if you have to follow up with consequences. They'll never trust a word you say if you don't follow it through.

I need to become more consistent. I start off strong but consistency is key to maintain the momentum. Students need to know that they will be held accountable.

Thanks to Mr. Reynolds I survived my first 6 months of teaching in 2019 and I learned to see the purpose of my profession. This is wonderful. Don’t get the kids feelings about me get in the way of becoming their best.

I see kindness as giving people what they need instead of what they want. If it's truly kindness, it will be taken as you being mean, or harsh at times. True kindness is rarely ever taken as weakness. The problem is that most teachers are nice because they want to be liked by their students; so they sacrifice classroom management, or discipline to satisfy that desire. However, the longer that you spend in teaching, the less you tend to care about being the popular teacher.

I just started teaching middle school at a new school... In a new country. It's amazing and frightening. I couldn't immediately be strong and confident because I was new in their territory. I had to be small and modest about achieving anything at all. Unfortunately I was very scared I wouldn't be able to manage them. My fear started early in the day and I was tense and angry all day. I started shouting at the students. If I didn't shout at them they didn't notice me. Then I realised I was doing more damage that way. Although I've taught for more than a decade in another country it was as if I was just out of teacher training. I felt so helpless. Eventually I apologised to all my six classes for my behaviour. They too, went home each day feeling rotten for their own behaviour. Everyone felt bad. I've started lowering my voice, I also come in very subdued. I am very well prepared, that helps a lot. I am also consequent. Kids get detention from me now, but I don't patronise them for it, I just talk on a level. But, the rule is set: if you disturb my class, you're out, you don't get to come back, and you get detention. There are always warnings, and I give them time to make their choices. I am a good teacher. Just starting over.

This really resonated with me as a new substitute teacher. I think that I’ve been unconsciously relying on the notion that if I am acting nicely to them that they will behave the same in return. That is really not the way it works at all and it appears that I’m learning the hard way… They are kids after all and you can’t expect that from them… or at least most of them. One on one or in a small group… maybe… but not in a normal sized classroom!

Yeah, finding the balance is so delicate.

Man I really respect how you said this. I always framed it as they're not going to be who they need to be and grow in ways that they need to, if I'm being too permissive in my behavior with them. It stunk being firm sometimes, but they actually respected me more later on, and we still have a good relationship to this day. Thanks Reynolds for saying this. Peace.

Thank you, as a teacher early in my career this is something I see myself doing at times. This is needed. I appreciate this video so much!

You are a great teacher for your students and for other teachers. I am learning so much from you. I am fairly new at teaching so I very grateful to you that you share experience and wisdom in such an organized and compelling way.

Thank you for this video. I have felt this way the last day or so.

Guilty here. I'm too nice to a default . No ppl pleasing. I just want to help and have you happy. It does backfire in class.

I needed this! Thank you!

I needed this. Thank you

Thank you, Mr. Reynolds, thank you for sharing this impactful video with us 🙏😊.

It's a difficult balance to attain because you sometimes have to give second chances to students if they messed up...

Thank you, I needed this. You are awesome 😊

Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for this video

I get confused on what wins kids over and feel this one situation and this one student , we can agree to move on and our behavior is redirected, but without some consequences it is viewed as unfair to other students. I need more technical tools for my mind to help me overcome the issues of ADHD and not let it affect how I organize behavior management. The two issues are a bad combination.

Same problem here

ıwish ı see you face to face :)

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍.....

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