When we consider typical features of archetypal mentor relationships, the following themes appear consistently. In stories, a mentor character often assists with a distinct adventure or quest, during which the person they are mentoring must triumph by overcoming challenges and changing for the better. Since the idea of a journey easily translates to the on-going experience of life, where each of us is challenged by circumstances and events, the idea of a mentor playing a productive role for part of that journey is useful.
A mentor’s function during your journey is to provide appropriate forms of assistance to help you succeed. As a mentor, you can be more effective when the person you mentor wants something, perhaps to reach a destination or achieve something that is valuable to them. Without this sense of direction, the quality of your conversations may range from interesting discussion to aimless chatter, both of which are unfulfilling for both parties in the long run. Everyone’s journey is individual and the mentor works best when they stay aware of the unique nature of someone’s quest.
The mentor’s function is to provide appropriate assistance in support of the mentee’s progress towards a desired goal. To decide what assistance is appropriate requires you to combine logic, wisdom and intuition. This is a challenge that runs through both your individual conversations and the overall relationship. Most of us develop our ability to mentor through experience, trial and error, and learning from what worked and what didn’t. Even if you are given initial training to be a mentor, ultimately you will learn the most through practice.
While there is no right or wrong in the type of assistance that you offer, there are ‘better’ and ‘worse’ types of assistance which are determined by the results they create. For example, you may take the route of story telling because you enjoy talking about yourself, but if the mentee doesn’t benefit in some way from hearing your stories, then telling them was an ineffective form of assistance. Depending on the situation, a mixture of forms of assistance might work best.