With a covert, seems to me their inactions say more than their actions. Withholding so much -- never validating, never visiting, never reciprocating, never admitting fault, never improving, never changing, never maturing... never never never.... etc etc etc...

@anthonyfuller9933

5 жыл бұрын

Completely agree

@thehotcoffeehouse6081

5 жыл бұрын

Brilliant observation, yes so true. Coverts,are the worst.

@Rocabella81

5 жыл бұрын

Yesssssss never visiting my ex Narc has never been to my house til this day wow smh

@mslyne

5 жыл бұрын

I am awakening to this characteristic and the person I'm involved in encompasses everything you've listed here! WOW!!

@throttlebuff

5 жыл бұрын

My covert chic hasn't been to my house in over a year. I always go there and go by the store on the way. Conversation with her will predominately be medical in nature. Talking about one ailment or another that is bothering her and what could be causing it. If i say i am tired of talking about her ailment then i am an uncaring jerk. It could literally go on for hours. I often wonder if she just sits there thinking about her ailments when I'm not there. Of course no real action is ever taken to fix the problem and the doctors are stupid and don't know anything. So, it's poor me, you don't care enough about me, you don't spendcenough time with me, you don't love me. It is funny how you subconsciously start to avoid them and so you feel guilty for not spending time with them. If you find yourself making up little stupid lies in order to avoid being around them then you are probably in a covert situation

Withholding affection and communication is one of the hardships of a relationship with a narc

@islandgirlruby2750

4 жыл бұрын

Jason Roberts yup they are insecure

@kirk1007

4 жыл бұрын

This was my marriage exactly

@samanthaharrington8713

4 жыл бұрын

My girlfriend does this in cycles. She was doing it for months to me than I started just not care, ignore her back and now she's back to showing me affection and love.

@reginathorp5902

3 жыл бұрын

Jason Roberts... Sometimes I question whether or not he's really a narcissist, then I read comments like this & I think this is exactly him... he has to be.

@seangriffin8601

3 жыл бұрын

That can be avoident attachment too

There are these super nice people, they're all around, but genuine, good people are so rare. "Narcissistic Nice" - epidemic. So good to know there's someone like you to inform people of these dangerous people. They can and WILL ruin your life. Even family.

@spectacularrichbeautybrilli

5 жыл бұрын

I WILL NOW CALL THEM...A CNN PERSON

@tbo2120

5 жыл бұрын

Yes! This is what I found. SUPER nice. That mask hides what they truly are about.

@estheradao

4 жыл бұрын

True , they’re possessed by the Jezebel spirit

@Zphibeauty

4 жыл бұрын

Laura Dee You just described my ex James May he had depression a lot and he wasn’t getting the love from me because I was looking for the man he said he was lololololol

@kisigma1102

4 жыл бұрын

I hate narrasstic nice people they only do nice thing for there own ego And then strike u when u don't even know it.

Anxious, insecure but never shy. Covert is really the best description. Fake empath, fake codependent,fake introvert,fake victim. Something i have noticed with coverts is their use of props to look empathic. A dog is not unsual, charity work, self promotion as the perfect parent. Yet they are the most psychologically torturous controlling parents that exist. The martyr is an accurate description. The victim. Some even play the hero-paramedic, firefighter, police/protector and get their supply this way.

@thehotcoffeehouse6081

5 жыл бұрын

Omg, my narc mother the martyr,

@tbo2120

5 жыл бұрын

Mannnnnn! This is SPOT ON! Like these words right here ^ yes. Are you still online?

@cforest4281

4 жыл бұрын

@Jer Bear rescue dog, child with diagnosis, relative with disability, adopted child, charity clip board. An illness to the Point of munchausens or sociopaths who will use munchausen's by proxy. The friend who needs help and wouldn't survive without them. Emulating empaths but really wolves in "empath or altruistic" clothing. The difference is an empathic person does things from goodwill and not a transactional expectation of greater return, payment, admiration or the covert supply of sympathy.

@cforest4281

4 жыл бұрын

@Jer Bear Sounds as though you are moving in the right direction. Some understanding of cluster b is important for validation but focus has to be steered towards self in recovery. Easier said than done but always possible. I don't think narcissism has any real self at all hence zero empathy and bpd can be so unstable they need help we cannot give them.

@Foundry_made

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like MY narc to a T. In social work, does volunteer work, but only the highly visible kind, super involved at school and has this idea of her kids that the REALITY of their behavior does not reflect. Has a lot of STUFF for other people to marvel over on social media but keeps the DEBT hidden. A complete fraud.

I just escaped a family of narcissist! It almost suck the life from me . I'm in a motel and will never return to that hell!!!I'm so thankful for your videos they have on my road to recovery .

@tintrung468

Жыл бұрын

Me too. It my neighbor. They’re narcissist almost suck the life from me. It’s close

ignorance is bliss and then you figure it out. RUN

It kills me that everyone loves him and sees him as this amazing person. He’s such a fake and has everyone fooled. He’s always the victim

@hinduhistory1407

4 жыл бұрын

Must have learnt it from women in his life

@mireillelebeau2513

4 жыл бұрын

Hannah take good care of yourself

@gypsierose3611

4 жыл бұрын

My soon to be ex husband to a t

@mreloo

4 жыл бұрын

what half ..libs dont realize the demoncrats r trying to destroy America and Trump is trying to save their bacon

@bigceazer

4 жыл бұрын

President Trump is the best thing that has happened to America in a long time. He is what the country needs. MAGA 2020!!!!

This is why I dont trust human beings. I feel like I cant tell if they genuinely care or if it's all fake.

@great4ever845

3 ай бұрын

Meh most people don't genuinely care. .....especially if it cost money

This explains why I saw glimpses of the real woman I wanted to love and other times narcissistic behavior. The back and forth personalities, very upsetting for me. Thanks for the video.

@kathasfaith7643

5 жыл бұрын

That was the most painful part for me too. Pull me in/push me away over and over. When I saw glimpses of the person I wanted to love=pulled in. When I responded to that by giving love=pushed away. I'm trying to be strong this time and have set a no contact boundary.

@joleneloveland2942

5 жыл бұрын

@@kathasfaith7643 yes or even move away keeping your where abouts a secret. They will keep trying to suck you back in forever. They must consider that some sort of personal victory in their over blown minds! Alot of them will even violate restraining orders. I dont know if its some kind of compulsive behavior or what? But yes, one of the most painful hells you can go through, i hear you. I spent/wasted alot of time, just trying to figure out what his problem was. Id never known anyone as messed up before,

@joleneloveland2942

5 жыл бұрын

Brad very upsetting, very confusing and it smashes your heart into bits. But look at it this way, if you had to spend some extended time with her your life would become an even more painful hell. Eventually youd come to resent her, so even though painful now, you are really sparing yourself in the long run. There's no living peacefully with these people. They have no empathy, no feelings and can damage your self confidence and how you view yourself if you put up with it too long, And thats exactly what they want, if they even think about others that far.

@teresajorgenson2308

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, the man I so wanted to love made intermittent appearances, but the abuse became so horrific that I was being destroyed. There was nothing left of me to love him and he could not love me. Except for sex, I think he really hates women

@samanthaharrington8713

4 жыл бұрын

It really is so upsetting and heartbreaking... My girlfriend is on her second cycle of being loving and affectionate after months of being cold and distant, moody, emotionally abusive...

Narcissist or whatnot, as long as someone who is *NOT real*, not authentic, the facade is going to come off ultimately. *A faker cannot fake forever* !

@eviebernal2913

5 жыл бұрын

ExtraordinaryLiving this has to be true. He hit on my Xfriend two months after we broke up

@mishaanton5436

5 жыл бұрын

They can and do with their cadre of flying monkies (enablers) intact. Obviously not a healthy church.

@kendrabennett2843

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly so anyone who is consistently the same is not wearing a mask, that's just their personality. But true cluster B ppl are nice and actually come off as brown nosers at first until their mask slips, at least that's my experience. Many of them hate me because I'm the same yesterday, today, n tomorrow. I do grow and learn, but I'm only referring to my personality.

@Jess-ew3tm

5 жыл бұрын

ive been faking as the "quiet sweet girl" for as long as i can remember due to an anxiety disorder that crept up on me in 5th grade due to a narc mother. Clinical depression soon hit me like a brick in my teens. Never realixed all this happened bc of my mother. that women was in fact KILLING ME SLOWLY!!! I never cried as a kid. Only when someone showed that they cared about me :-/ i never knew why til now..my mothe starved me from love. Never once has told me she loved me, never hug me, never showed me affection in anyway. never disciplined me niether. Only raged at me randomly which is where my anixety built up im sure.... My persona was due to my mother forcing me into that role. i was literally NEVER allowed to express myself!!! EVER. She never cared about what i had to say, my feelings..anything. Youre right the mask does fall off eventually...and im ready for mines to totally evaporate. im tired of being tired. Tired of faking. No im not sweet all the time and my feelings are justified but since ive been assigned this persona in my family i feel as if i havw to act that way. its exhausting. and im finally ready to kill it

@joleneloveland2942

5 жыл бұрын

Extrordinary you got that right, time tells all, but for the present they tie you to the whipping post and sling mud. NOTHING'S ever their fault! But on the possitive side, anyone that knows this person, has history with them, seldom believes anything they have to say, they know better. And if they do, they are just looking to stir some trouble up in general. But the passing of time (and their big mouthes) will eventually always expose their butt crack to others. Everyone will see it, but him/her. They are facing the wrong way, oblivious, convinced they told the truth.

The worst part is when they turn you into the bad guy. there is nothing worse than to be convinced that you are the abusive partner while getting emotionally abused. i had to start paying attention to every fight that happened there after.. my day will go great until she calls, comes over or we hang out, then i would feel so depleted afterwards, and worse called the abuser. this girl was something else and very good at it. she was so competitive and enjoyed tearing me down. my biggest problem was i stayed too long trying to understand the "WHY" someone could be so spiteful, even though i was so good to them and very supportive, i should have accepted it and moved on

@StephanieLynCoaching

5 жыл бұрын

Yup that is the game they play. Projection.

@latebluebird

5 жыл бұрын

@Stephanie Lyn, Thank you so much for your content. You are doing such amazing work. i now know where i can send a few of my friends

@Keys7

3 жыл бұрын

Hopefully you have healed and have been Blessed with someone that is on your energy level. God Bless.

@julianstier3821

3 жыл бұрын

Being the bad guy after all the things I did to her, using a smear campaign to discard me and almost immediately having another guy really, really messed me up.

@staytrue8354

2 жыл бұрын

@@julianstier3821 Hope you healed from that i experienced the same and its devastated if you lack knowledge about NPD. Lets raise the awareness about this so a lot of people could be rescued out of those relationships without having so much self blame.

My sister is all of these things. No one understands why I stay away from her because she’s “so sweet and kind”...I have been around her my entire life, she’s such a narcissist but hides it really well. It’s so toxic.

Do not share information! So right.

@obiwan9236

5 жыл бұрын

If I only knew then what I do now!

@shine2678

3 жыл бұрын

Oh god, I used to share more information about me, I regret everything I did with him😔😔😔

@Splassshhh1234

3 жыл бұрын

secrecy gives them power

This was spot on. I just got out of relationship with a covert Narcissist and it was an endless battle of her playing the victim. Woe is me and Why am I not getting the attention I deserve. Why are you looking/talking to them. I'm supposed to be number one in your life, you don't make me feel like I'm number 1. It was so emotionally abusive and draining, could do nothing right, and nothing was good enough. And any of my accomplishment were just swept under the rug, so we could talk about hers. I tried for years hoping it was just a matter of time to have things improve. It never did. Living life on a roller-coaster took its toll and I finally said, Let me off.

@scottiebones

4 жыл бұрын

I know how you feel bro, just gone through 3 years of it myself, the never ending arguments they set up for you to automatically lose, to the never ending listening of them rant about themselves and them not once giving a damn how you're going, the blaming and making you feel bad all the time, the validation they always crave, it's never god enough whatever you do... it is an emotional rollercoaster ride where only we end up getting sick in the end, these people needs to be studied in a lab.

@Tony-dh

3 жыл бұрын

Same story as mine. As time went on it got way worse.

@hanoofalajmi23

Жыл бұрын

She created a lose-lose scenario for you where you can never win

Narc "What type of guy are you into" Narc mind 'What behaviors can I feign to best keep you around for my abuse cycle'....

@narcpoacher7708

4 жыл бұрын

Omg can't believe you said that my ex narc literally asked that same question.."what are you looking for in a man" wow.. ridiculous. I did reply with consistency and of course he never delivered on that, what with how they always say contradictory messages within the same sentence!

@skykn1ght78

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly!

@MadisonDiaz12

4 жыл бұрын

Omg yes, I would openly talk about the type of toxic shit I didn't want in future friendships and she was right there nodding her head and pretending like she doesn't do that shit. 3 years later fucking HELLO TRUTH.

@VrilDerzhava

3 жыл бұрын

My (covert / vulnerable) narcissistic ex asked me EXACTLY the same thing. 'What kind of things do you like in a man? What do you hate for a man to do?' They are literally all the same.

Getting out of a relationship with a covert narcissistic person. I almost committed suicide, I was so sad being without them. I am super sensitive empath and was codependent and he was my best friend. I spent everyday with him for 4 years. My family seen it, but I couldn't. I missed the last year my dad had while he was going through cancer, because my bf at the time couldn't live without my care.

@Ang-sj6df

10 ай бұрын

🙏 🙏 🙏

That is a very good explanation. They want to see that they're getting to you because it makes them feel like they matter. That was definitely my experience. Very sweet for years, until she got me hooked, then she became evil manipulation on steroids.

After 25 years of marriage my covert Narcissist wife found an overt Narcissist boyfriend. He asked her to give him all the money from my business and my savings. She gave it all to him. They funded his new restaurant, which failed quickly. I was forced to sell my company at a loss and signed a 7 year contract that I couldn’t work in my field. I was destroyed in amazing ways. That was 14 years ago. Up until a few months ago, I had no idea of why she enjoyed destroying me. Your videos help me process my feelings. Unfortunately, I’m a deep thinker, constantly processing information. I’ve gone no-contact for 14 years. She turned my kids into Flying Monkeys. I can understand why she is a Narcissist, but I can’t understand why people remain as loyal Flying Monkeys for many years? Why would my kids never grow up and cut the umbilical cord to the Narcissist?

WOW.... that explains so many things!!!!! i was going out with a covert narcissist!!! he plays this role as a sweet guy all the time, and is secretly crazy insecure, feels rejected super easily, gets into a relationship, quickly, needs attention all the time!!!!!!! DAYUM.... and i feel guilty sometimes for not tolerating his shit and blame myself for not understanding him enough. but DAYUM!!!! URHHHHH!!!!

@ahoneekesong9004

4 жыл бұрын

Same girl, same

@woy8

12 күн бұрын

dont be too quick to say this. Guilt trips are definitely and unhealthy sign, but him being sweet and insecure is much too low of a bar. People call everyone a narcissist these days. I will only call someone this, if this is a pattern, you see the manipulation, you see the lack of empathy in different scenarios, you see the blame game, you see the being a victim all the time etc.

I'm watching this kinds of videos and quietly observing my ex, lord have mercy. He is the imbodyment of narcissism.

Too bad they don't teach you this in school.I was taken down by a psycho.I didn't even know what hit me until I finally got my memory back 3 years latter after psychotic breakdown I had because lived with no sleep and ptsd for months.I will never recover from the pain of what I lost.I will never be the person I used to be.He completely ripped my soul out of me.

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Pamela Morris I have said this for years! They need to be teaching this stuff in school to our children. The fact that they don’t teach about what abuse looks like, how to protect themselves, how to love themselves is just crazy. They need to learn how to actually love themselves to be happy in life. Thank you for your comment!

@lucibloom5966

6 жыл бұрын

You can look up soul retrieval. It's a 'woo-woo' thing that many people scoff at because it's associated with 'hippy shit', but there is a psychologically valid thing called soul fragmentation or psyche fragmentation, and it can be worked on.

@hithere3143

5 жыл бұрын

I was going to agree about it being taught in school, but then I thought why would you rely on strangers to raise your kid for you? You can teach them yourself.

@blueskies773

5 жыл бұрын

Not every child has parents that will do this for them. Some children’s parents are also the narcissists. Teaching it in school will give the opportunity to ALL children. People are not privileged the same, their backgrounds are different.

@thewatlingtons6047

5 жыл бұрын

@@StephanieLynCoaching Oh nah...maybe College. But I think it would just make the "covert narc" even better at being covert.

My husband is always the victim, then had my mom convinced I was crazy. I can't even begin to tell how over 4 years time he had ground me almost to nothing. And I have no one to talk to about it, because everyone things he is this perfect man who I should be so thankful for. When they have no idea the sick and twisted manipulative things he does. This man enjoys seeing me suffer emotionally, I can see it in his eyes. Thank God I am waking up and seeing him for what he really is. But I'm unsure how to navigate the leaving process and what to say when people ask, because I know they won't understand (and I am very much ok with that). I am needing steps I can take to leave.

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Claressia Lamkins You just said it… You don’t need them to understand why you’re leaving. You’re leaving because you no longer want to be in a unhealthy relationship.

@beautygirlsguide

6 жыл бұрын

Claressia Lamkins know exactly how that feels! I’m so sorry! It’s not easy! Just a reminder you are amazing, beautiful and strong my friend! 💕

@curiouscat4337

6 жыл бұрын

Claressia Lamkins...I too know exactly how it feels. It's awful! My advice is try not to talk about it unless it is with someone that understands. Don't assume your family will understand. Almost no one will completely understand. And you can inadvertently wear people out with it. Surround yourself with people that at least try to. During recovery you will feel alone but this is the time you need to concentrate on you and rebuild yourself with self-love.

@9498678

6 жыл бұрын

Ever get that smile when they think they have you worked up, my wife would turn and smirk. Now I've trained myself to absorb that or when I see that smirk, I know I'm not self aware and in my feelings.

@rapturebegins3537

6 жыл бұрын

Claressia Lamkins I can relate to you very well.. I'm trying to get away from mine atm, but my family those who know him think he's the best thing to ever happen to me. He's had me fooled for almost 10yrs, but I have awoken & see him for what he is now. He's so fake he might as well be a ken doll. Bullying & self-absorbed to the point he'd rather cut back on buying food rather than not buying alcohol. I'm with you the whole way.

I was married to a covert narcissist for 37 years and didn’t realize that’s what he was I finally left this past October and our divorce was final in December and I still can’t wrap my brain around that I really didn’t know who he was after 37 years of being together I just thought he was a very negative person and after hearing about narcissistic people I realized he’s a covert narcissist and now that I’m out of that toxic relationship I can look back at all the signs that were there and I didn’t see it for what it was.

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Kim McGeorge i completes understand! It is a hard pill to swallow especially when we want to make sense out of these people. How does it feel now that you are out of the relationship?

@kimmcgeorge7161

6 жыл бұрын

Stephanie Lyn Coaching it feels AMAZING I LOVE IT don’t get me wrong it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be but I’m loving every minute of being gone from there sometimes I have a problem with being mad at myself for wasting 37 years of my life with him but I have 3 amazing kids and one granddaughter so I wouldn’t change that I look at it this way I could be wasting another 20 years with him and I’m not so that’s a blessing 😁

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Kim McGeorge 🙌💙🙏💪 All the emoji’s I can think of that symbolize what you just described! All the best to you!

@ci.ci.1998

6 жыл бұрын

Kim McGeorge It’s seems like we are blinded by these bastards whether it family, friends,or relationship. When we come out of the toxic relationship, that’s when we know who they are!🧐🤔

@kimmcgeorge7161

6 жыл бұрын

Cierra Washington ~ Its so crazy because you don’t realize how bad it was or at least I didn’t🤦‍♀️ until I was out of the house and now I’m so happy that I left and I can’t believe I put up with it for so long.

I was married to this type of person! When you're in a relationship you don't always see this. So many things have become more clear to me. She is still acting like a victim 3 years later.

This was so helpful. I have been married to an abusive narcissist for 33 years and he has cheated on me for the last 10. I never new. He was very good. No one knew. Whew. Glad to be free.

I got the shivers when I heard the story that you mentioned about your friend---it sounds exactly like my ex. And yes--things were moving way too fast (ultimatums for marriage from the 2nd month), he wasn't the type of person I would normally pick (I don't know what I was thinking),talks big but does little (the actions don't match the words), black sheep of his family. Wow!!

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

mariette ming They are literally all the same.

@SincerelyYolanda

5 жыл бұрын

Honestly, word for word was true for me as well. I never said it out loud to anyone, but over and over and over in my head I would ask those exact same words as he tried to move the relationship to the next phase; marriage.

Thanks Stephenie. You are so good. So well-informed and you explain everything brilliantly. Even after many yers since my covert narcissist died, I still have times when I am disturbed by things he did during the long years I was stuck with him. This description explains everything. You could be describing the one I was with for over 20 years, starting when he kind of trapped me while I was still at school. He "love bombed" me then said if I didn't marry him as soon as I left school he would kill himself. I was very young for my age and naive. He was 14 years older than I and a teacher. I thought he knew best about everything. He got us into terrible debt. He was incredibly mean and never gave me any money, ever. I had to go out and earn any money I had so I could buy the children's clothes and pay for their school outings as well as buy my essentials, even feminine hygiene. He said I could earn my own money even when I had a one day old baby and had nearly died giving birth. He was angry with me about the birth because, he said, I let him wait in the waiting room! This was while the Doctor and midwives were fighting to keep me alive! Your description is him in every way. He was a dreadful bully and did prefer the bad as you said because then he could call me neurotic if I got upset. He was a terrible liar too yet people who only knew him superficially thought he was a lovely man. I can't thank you enough for this wonderful description.

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Elly Ess Thank you so much for watching. I’m so glad you enjoyed the video! All the best to you!

@kaylabryson1932

4 жыл бұрын

I hope you have had a better life with him out of it 🙏

im Toni. my ex was a cover narc he has everyone fooled except me and God.

@Tony-dh

3 жыл бұрын

Tell anyone the truth and they will think you are crazy. Same about my one. Only very few know the real her.

i couldn’t put my finger on it. i just realized what he is. wow.

Spot-on! So much more dangerous than Overt! I was love-bombed for 5 years and when it started to shift, I was very confused. Naturally, I "tried harder!" Oops! When she manipulated and provoked me, I now see that she was feeding on my emotional energy. They are predatory in such a sophisticated way! It took me a long time to get it and get out. I feel very gullible and vulnerable because I always see the best in people. Mixed blessing. Careful out there!

@blueskies773

5 жыл бұрын

I’ve heard a great quote: “don’t search for the best in people. Look for their truth, hear the truths they give you and see if they align with time and over time. Then you will know the best in that person.”

Thank you so much Stephanie , I was married to a narcissist 30 yrs ago and so grateful it happened to me then and now at 54 spot them a mile away … Once you know and believe in yourself , there’s not much they can do to manipulate you !!!!

Wow! This is the best informative, thorough description I've ever heard when talking of a Narcissistic. Greatly appreciate it and I'll be saving it and re-watching to help me.

One day a women was walking down a road and heard an animal crying out in pain . She went to see what was going on and saw a snake badly injured from being run over . So she picked up the injured animal and took it home to take care of. As a veterinarian , she literally nursed back to health the snake by giving it medicine , feeding him and nurturing it. During that time the snake and its caregiver became close friends and the snake made all types of promises to her once he recovered. After about a month of caring for the snake , she noticed the snake sitting up right. She then went over to greet the snake who clearly was feeling better. But as soon as she approached him, he lashed out striking her in the hand injecting his full venom . She immediately collapsed and lay dying . The young women gasping her last breath asked the snake why had he done that to her after all she’s done for him. The snake crawling over her paralyzed body responded you knew what I was when you picked me up from the very beginning. The snake slithered away from her corpse with no remorse , no shame , no emotions for the person who cared for him. The moral of the story is...empathy kills. Showing kindness , giving your all to a total stranger will end up destroying you . A narcissist is a snake who will take advantage of you, use and manipulate you into thinking of delusions of grandeur that will never exist nor happen. And a narcissist will discard you like trash after using you...leaving you in a state of mental & emotional paralyzation. As you are picking up the pieces and realizing what the fu@k happened. Remember the fall of man happened because of a snake and it’s false promises and manipulation. So too will a narcissist end up destroying you!!!

@flowerpink33

5 жыл бұрын

Love ❤️ this so much, I screenshot this. This will help me keep things in focus.

@lifestories5189

5 жыл бұрын

Who the fuck cares about a snake

@Em_Elizabeth

5 жыл бұрын

Did you make this fable up yourself? 😯

@marrylee6746

5 жыл бұрын

That was my story. Wow. Thanks for sharing desr.

@curlytopkitty2468

5 жыл бұрын

👍👍👍the snake was true to his nature same as narcs. dont matter what you do.

OMG Stephanie!!! Listening to this and my jaw DROPPED ... I’m currently living with a Covert Narcissist and OMG everything that you said is what this person does. I have asked her to move out but of course that hasn’t worked 😣

You described my best friend of 5 years. The only problem is untangling yourself. She calls me her “best friend” and her “sister.” She knows everything about me. It is SO important to spot these people right away before they know information about you.

Covert female - loads of "I love you" and "our cosy home" love notes, cutouts of hearts, leaving you food for the day, messages on everything, little drawings on your food

@aussiedrifter007

3 жыл бұрын

Only in the start and then all Hell is unleashed on you. She will turn into the demon from hell if her will is crossed.

@nachannachle2706

3 жыл бұрын

That is the work of an immature and childish person. That should be the tell sign that you are not going to have a relationship, but be used as a provide-only sucker.

I have a covert narcissist as a roommate. You described him like you are in the house and watch the things he tries. His favorite is playing the victim card. Then he threatens to move out and waits for a response from me telling him he should stay playing right into his game. Time to call him out next time he tries it. Knowing what their game is and knowing whats coming is such a high now. No more victim. Keep the videos coming because they are so helpful.

@dreamdiction

5 жыл бұрын

So what happened?

Spot on with this Stephanie thank u. Just broke up with a covert narcissist and she would go on and on about how she has so many friends and how every1 trusts her. So wonderful and down to earth it took me a month to see what was going on. The emotional abuse was sporadic and once it started escalating I was able to call her on it and distance myself from her. It's been almost a week now and your videos are helping me deal with the loss and sadness I do feel.

@StephanieLynCoaching

5 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad they are helping!

This video made me subscribe. Wow! When you described it, transported me to moments I barely remembered. So wonderful having the information to detect these type of people.

This video has helped me immensely. What a great description and explanation. It really helps when you know what your dealing with and to have some answers.

Just found you now, and I love to listen to you. Such clarity of mind and hurtfulness

I had an experience like your friend's. I wasn't physically attracted to my ex at all but he was sooooo charming and had a great personality (at least at the beginning) that I went for it too. BIG MISTAKE😝

@steffiea6197

6 жыл бұрын

Yes, mine pursued very hard initially, so I gave him a chance. I stayed in the situation longer than i should have. The sweetness was wearing off of my covert after 3 months, stayed on with him 2 more months feeling like "how do I get free from him" Finally found out he was a predator and that was my get out of jail free card. Ended it and never looking back! Still the effects of all the mind games has to be sorted out as well as growing from it all.

@lucibloom5966

6 жыл бұрын

I hear that. My friends were all wondering what the hell had taken me over that I'd pick him in the first place. Such an obvious sleaze and cocky little shit, but somehow it felt like a soul connection to me.

@lucibloom5966

6 жыл бұрын

Haha...I agree. Most of them...even the 'nice' ones, are like this. Maybe we're all capable of this but I really think most men give themselves free reign to fuck with women, just to see if they have self worth or some crazy reason in their own heads...some kind of extreme low self esteem issues that they project onto poor women who deserve much better! Some women do the same, but on the whole it's mostly the dudes...sadly.

@mishaanton5436

5 жыл бұрын

Stephanie Allen it will come bc you saw a different outcome for your future.

@KristelD

5 жыл бұрын

Same here. He wasn't my type, but I was young naive with no relationship experience and he was charming. We ended married with a kid and the during our marriage the mask really started the fall off. I have asked for a divorce, being with him was starting to make me physically sick. I will survive, I'm feeling much better since I ask for separation in juli. But I feel a lot of guilt for getting my son in this mess.

This is probably the best video I've see on the subject and examples. Been living this for a few years now and through the fog, these videos bring clarity.

Loads of clips out there telling you what to look out for but the dealing with them is by far the hardest thing ever. Thank you for the advice.

One of your best talks. Thank you for the clarity and tools.

Wow. Textbook description of my marriage. I had enough when the gaslighting of his infidelity. Divorced. Loving my healthy freedom!

Your videos are amazing and so true! You have no idea how you're validating a current situation for me right now. Keep making these videos!

This is one of the best and most informative videos on narcissism that I've seen. Thank you for this video. Well done!

I Love to talk about such things, you are a true human being. You don't need to care about the people who hate you, you can throw them in the list of ignorance, in your mind.

Thank you for your thoughts. That's good point that healthy dating when things come slow and being cautious.

Thank you so much Stephanie! Another episode with pearls of wisdom like no other, education for the abused so they can stop the abuse & move on with their lives in beauty, not darkness & self-loathing. ♥️

Omg! This was spot on! Thank you for sharing this and sharing your knowledge.❤️

Geez I can't tell if I am a brilliant covert narcissist or a genuine good person.

@shunfrost6441

4 жыл бұрын

Same, I was raised by a overt narcissist and I had no "self" untill my early adult years and I thought I was an empath due to how emotional I thought I get but I dont want to be a bad person and I suffer from lack of self love im probably dying from internal affluctions and Im not even motivated to go to the hospital, I was gaslighted on the daily for 13 years during my development and I dont know how to find the motivation to live I thought that by helping people with their insecurities and seemingly apparent traumas that I was helping people see the truth but in reality im probably just another narc.

@joshgrant5000

4 жыл бұрын

Do you have genuine empathy?

@1071mbacigal

4 жыл бұрын

Idk. If you have to ask...

@MIRACLECHEEZ

4 жыл бұрын

Shun Frost i feel much the same. originally thought i might be showing BPD symptoms, but now i’m worries i might just be a piece of shit. that would affirm my feelings of worthlessness, it all feels so right. my issue is a feel like i have genuine empathy, i feel for people in shitty situations, i’ll even cry if i hear or watch a sad or traumatic story. i just don’t know if that’s real or not. this whole thing is so miserable and frustrating

@lisajohannson4679

4 жыл бұрын

your joking about this go to hell you piece of shit your not a person you stinking demon

You're on point with staying unemotional with a narcissist. They THRIVE off of emotions because it leaves a person open to their manipulation. Seen this firsthand and it can be very powerful. As in talking people into giving thousands and thousands of dollars to them through an online persona. No bullshit.

WOW! You're amazing!!!! You've just described two relatives that I'm working to completely distance myself from (til death does us part! 😨). This information also helps me see where I went wrong in a past major relationship. Thanks again!

Thank you so much. This has answered so many questions for me. I really value the information and tips. Your videos have been so helpful. Thank you.

Honestly, i feel like i used to be a covert narcissist... just extremely insecure. My brain would instantly go towards the negative. If someone complimented me - I'd think they were making fun of me. It's actually a terrible, terrible way of living. Being painfully selfware of your reactive tendencies, then hating yourself for so long after for hurting someone you care about. I'm glad i've worked on myself a lot because i hated who i was.

@popcornlady1711

4 жыл бұрын

This is true of anyone with low self-esteem, don't think the worst. If you're not an entitled predator, you're just traumatised and need to mature, you're not a narcissist. All the best! :)

@BrokeTruckerGyal

2 жыл бұрын

Remember in the beginning of this video she said, Narcissism is on a spectrum. It is possible to heal! The dilemma of the Narcissist is the self hatred they deal with that tricks them into believing they can never be healed or aren't worthy of it, so they just never do and they hurt everyone else.

@kpaxian6044

8 ай бұрын

Depression and years of trauma can impact self esteem and lead people to thinking others might dislike them etc. This doesn't mean someone is narcissistic. With healing and a lot of self care...a lot of these fears and anxieties go away and stay away. I used to be really hard on myself because I was criticized relentlessly...I would say I am not anything like a narcissist (although I do get lost in thought a lot and can forget to check in with friends if I am busy.) But look mostly at how you handle people being busy, or speaking up or disagreeing respectfully with you etc. A depressed person without a personality disorder can be hard on themselves sometimes, but they are not likely to blame and rage and never take responsibility...but narcissists will do this.

Wow that was fantastic! I’ve been researching Narc behavior for two years or so and was pondering something today ,,, I don’t even know how your channel popped up! Great work Thank You

@lucibloom5966

6 жыл бұрын

The same just happened to me. I'd taken a break from researching narcissism, then suddenly here is this woman giving me an even greater depth of analysis and understanding than some of the more popular youtube experts out there.

Awesome advice. Thank you, with gratitude.

This was so informative, because I,'m surrounded by the type....and I do see this personality in their kids overt and covert. Thank you Dr.lyn for the invite.

That is the most accurate roadmap of my husband that I have heard to date. Amazing. I even did these defensive techniques towards him instinctually. It is really important to detach from the narcissist. It has been two years (with one year of greyrock) for me but now I see clearly what was going on. I am so glad that I am away from him. I feel free to live my life and be happy. Thank you for your insights.

I knew him for 5 years as a buddy (superficial only). Then 2.5( almost three) years seeing each other, staying overnight at each other's places with no signs of covert narcissism. I knew we had everything in common. He liked all the same things I did and not just in words but in actions! He did the same hobbies with me and enjoyed it. Can one pretend to like something that one actually hates for three years???? I know I can't do that even for three minutes - I'm too honest about myself. When I moved in to live with him, he suddenly stopped being affectionate and stopped liking to do all the things he used to do with me. It was a shock to find out how opposite he turned out to be. All the hobbies and interests we had in common (proved by action and not only words) suddenly disappeared. He did not just admit he hated those things. He would suddenly start doing those things reluctantly, demonstrating cold disgust to my hobbies, and showing contempt at my attempt to cheer him up and ask why he became so irritated. His explanation and answer would be no answer and silent treatment for days. When I confront him about the silent treatment - he'd suddenly say I imagined it. Then I just felt like I was insane...Eventually, I stopped going out with him since he acted irritated at our hobbies and disgusted with me every moment while going out. Eventually, he admitted that he did not like those things anymore but assured me he was not pretending at first and he simply stopped liking everything to do with me due to change of his interests. Then he started pressuring me to do things I never liked BUT had been honest about not liking from the start. He would say "you have to sacrifice and compromise if you love me. SO, you should do what you don't want just for me." But then he'd let me know clearly he was not going to do what he hates just for me, ever. From somebody who had so much in common with me, he turned into somebody who had nothing at all in common with me, pressuring me to things I don't like and never liked from the beginning. I felt heartbroken, hurt, confused and I told him that, to which he replied "I don't want to talk" and went to play video games. I cried a little, then a lot. And then I told myself: "If I want to talk any further about anything, it will be dismissed only to keep me miserable. So, blaming him for who he turned out to be is such a waste of time. He is not the person I feel happy with at present, and that's what I have to deal with. I have to be a total idiot if I waste my time trying to figure out why he is so different from the way he was when he himself is not even willing to discuss it. Maybe he just changed unintentionally and does not know how to say it and so he shows disgust? Maybe he did pretend and love-bomb me only to make me fall in love with him intentionally? May be...? I can go on forever with maybe's. Fact is - the way he is now - not making me happy. The reasons don't matter anyway - his avoidance of discussion proved to me that it does not even matter enough to him. And I don't want to think about someone to whom I don't matter the way I want to matter. No judgment there. He is a wonderful person and I have nothing against him because he has a right to be who he wants to be. My responsibility is not to judge but to choose what's acceptable to me and what's not. I need a relationship to compliment my life and not to confuse it. So, I lovingly let go of this confusing relationship and lovingly admit this is not for me, and I set up a breakup and feel such great relief afterward, and even gratitude for at least the passionate sex we had in the beginning during the first 3 years before living together (that was the best part). But now I wonder, if somebody can pretend so easily to be who they are not - for almost three years, then how much longer should I see the person to wait for their true nature to come out - for 10 years? Surely, nobody can imitate joy for something they hate for ten years straight, or can they, especially if they get to enjoy passionate sex with it once a week? On the other hand, maybe, I'd never see the real him if I kept just seeing him for ten years. Maybe it's a good way to check quickly the real person by living with them for 4-6 months (one year MAX). ( I ended up living together for five years, which was too much due to financial and marital entanglement.) Anyway, you might learn faster by living together. You simply don't have to permanently move. Just move in with an intention to leave soon, but that way you'll learn faster without waiting for 10 years. Or is it better to just keep seeing each other for a decade or two until one day their real nature comes through?

@meditation8905

Жыл бұрын

Feel bad but now days people pretend so beautifully it takes years to now the actual person

@MathumaTao

Жыл бұрын

It is hard to understand until you remember this one thing, they do not have a core personality of Their Own. So they will adopt yours your likes your hobbies your interests cuz they are identifying with you. Once they get tired of you they're interested in those things will evaporate. So it's not as if you were imagining things it's just that you are not considering the covert secretive nature of the narcissist and their emptiness inside. Until the day they find somebody who better suits their needs or they are bored or some other reason when they turn around and will not only lose interest but they will actively despise you and your interests because it is part of their game. They were there under false pretenses and they are trying to cleanse themselves of the dirt of their own deception. It is a form of projection

omg I need to be Co-Dep with STEPH!! Beautiful spirit and a great video. The people on youtube explain Narcs are beatiful inside and out, truly evolved.

Thank you for you!!! This is helping me see what I have been so Blind too... Working on myself now to do what I need to be a strong confidant woman that loves herself enough to know better. Thank you!!! Loving all of your Videos and this is helping me so much.... You have a gift and you have really touched my core!

Wow this is exactly like the guy I used to know....so glad I got rid of him!

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Dana Tarchala 😉👍

Thank you for putting this together. I was with a covert narcissist for many many years. It is true. One day I woke up to realize I never knew this man. All I found great about him proved to be a lie and they are Masters in victimisation. And yes, he wanted to marry very quick and I felt something was wrong but could not step back... unfortunately. Thank you for your balanced videos.

Your videos came into my life at the perfect time! Your advice is changing my life! ❤️🙏 Thank you

Thank you for this video! It was so enlightening. All your videos are great.

I was physically attacked and my mind went into shock and I got ptsd.People thought I was playing victim like you say.However I was not "playing" to be a victum.It really was a wound to my very soul.I had no help in getting out because everyone blamed me for feeling week You really need to be very careful not to blame people who were victimized and make sure that you don't diagnose narisist for ptsd.Younwould never blame a war vet for ptsd and you can't blame someone who was assaulted as a seeking or being covert narsisit.

@twobirds1817

6 жыл бұрын

Disagreeable Woman Sorry I don't really understand what your comment means.

@hyacinthbucket593

6 жыл бұрын

two birds, I think you misunderstand the statements about a narcissist "playing the victim". A person who has been attacked, like in a mugging or home invasion, is a true victim - that person had no fault in causing their own injury. What she's talking about here is a situation where two people actively participate in a transaction or relationship, but one of the participants refuses to acknowledge his failings in the exchange. EXAMPLE: Divorced man describes the reason for the failure of his marriage to new girlfriend as, "SHE spent money like water; SHE was always wanting to go out with her friends; SHE was hateful; the whole time SHE was pregnant, I had nightmares that the baby wasn't mine; SHE cleaned out the bank account and disappeared while I was out of town." All of those things may be absolutely true, but a marriage almost never fails due to the faults of just one person, and this man is not exhibiting any insight into how he contributed to that failure. What you might find out later is that HE also spends money like water, and never pays a bill; HE will say anything to get what he wants, and does not keep promises; HE belittles everyone he knows, to continually confirm to himself that he is superior; HE stores everything he learns about a person's vulnerabilities as ammunition; HE turns every casual conversation into an argument, which he then "wins" by unloading that ammunition he has covertly amassed; HE is insecure, and believes women are cheating on him, even when they're not; HE never apologizes for anything, because he never believes anything he does is wrong.

@curiouscat4337

6 жыл бұрын

Absolutely. And, I think it is correct to say that you lose your soul. It can be found again but you will never be the same after. I never would have thought that my own family would turn against me.

@lucibloom5966

6 жыл бұрын

OH my gosh, I've been through so many times at varying times. My entire family did not support me through the hardest events of my life, and thought I was playing the victim, and call me the narcissist and manipulator when I'm really self aware and know when I am behaving in these ways and am not consciously, but recognise their behavior as the same as what they accuse me, and it's been going on for years and years and having to just not take it on and tell myself it's their shit. It's really really horrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through it because it's been so hard to find people who've had the same and I'm glad at least one other person knows about it, though it's also not a good thing that you do.

@lucibloom5966

6 жыл бұрын

I NEVER in a million years thought I'd have to walk away from my entire family over this crazy making crap! It's just escalated in the last few weeks, and even after 4 years of not talking, I gave them a chance to see if anything had changed and my brother just started right off where he left and my mother did the exact same shit she was doing the last time I spoke with her...but they think I'M the one who hasn't changed a bit and is still carrying on about the past that they don't want to hear and it's all me! Who ARE these people? I grew up with them but they are total strangers to me??

You always bring me back to reality. This is my ex. Some of my last words to him were “I feel like I just wasted 4 years of my life with somebody that I no longer recognize”. Your video is spot on.

Great video with practical advice and example that actually work!!! My mom is a covert narcissist and eliminating her from my life isn’t an option, but now I can protect myself and live separately in peace!!! Thank you than you thank you! You are doing the universe’s work pretty lady!!!!

Absolutely the BEST video I've watched in a long time. Thank you!

I know someone who is a covert. Your advice is spot on and I have noticed that they get worse the more time you spend with them! Thanks 🙏 for sharing your prospective 👍

@go-goakins1489

5 жыл бұрын

I had a family member who was covert and I had to cut them loose for good😀

@richposports7030

4 жыл бұрын

Oh dear....

Omg! This video just hit home HARD!! I have a covert in my life! I’m definitely going into protection mode!! Thank you for opening up my eyes!!!

@christianpulisic7784

3 жыл бұрын

Melissa Mann,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

@MelissaLeo966

3 жыл бұрын

@@christianpulisic7784 Thank you so much for the compliment! He is no longer in my life….I am freeeeee!! 🙏🏻❤️

@christianpulisic7784

3 жыл бұрын

@@MelissaLeo966 You are welcome dearest 🌹🌷.I am Christian from the States.You?

You’re absolutely brilliant at this...👏🏾

Stephanie, thank you so much for your amazing videos. I really appreciate your knowledge on the topic of Narcissists. For a very long time I thought I was going crazy about this person in my life. I started feeling like I had to keep walking on eggshells about everything I did. Your videos have helped me understand things better. 😊👍

When they get desperate they will make comments like “In guess I don’t feel worthy, or beautiful of whatever.” Then expect you to encourage them & heap praise & attention on them.

I'm not a professional mental health therapist but this has me thinking I may be co-parenting with a covert narcissist. This video sums up the relationship I have with her to the dot. Very helpful to know how dangerous she is and how I can protect myself from now on. The most helpful part is to know and acknowledge they are not healthy and to not get emotional with them even when they say the most hurtful things imagined. Thank you for this video!

@curiouscat4337

6 жыл бұрын

Be careful. If you confront them they ramp up the evil. It does no good. Life is miserable with a narc. Best to get away as soon as you can so you don't waste more time unless you are satisfied with the roller coaster ride from hell.

@rw20000

5 жыл бұрын

I also co parent with one. It is totally exhausting. She constantly antagonises, lies but most infuriattingly withholds all information

This is SOLID GOLD information.

Great video! I've been reading about the subject of narcissistic abuse for weeks and it's only after seeing this that I finally understand the difference between overt and covert. Thank you! Also, you most accurately described the person I was in a relationship with :O

Thank you for accurately describing my father.

OMG, this description of a Covert Narcissist is so accurate and defines exactly a person I live with. I am always used as the scapegoat for making this person a victim. She will even lie to make me look bad and make her look like a victim to get her Narcissist Supply! So accurate and so true!

@iys6890

Жыл бұрын

I can relate to that too!

Thank you for your videos! Honestly, it is very helpful. Really appreciate your work. And you are very attractive as well:) Keep moving this way!

Thank you. Pretty much sums it up. I needed to hear this. I see damage passed on through so many people. Traumatized people traumatize people

I invited my covert narc on a VACATION with me that he only had to pay for part of...and he got ANGRY with me...played the victim and tried to gaslight me! "Oh poor me, you're so mean, you didn't offer to pay all of it. You obviously don't care about me at all. I would NEVER do anything so horrible to you! Don't talk to me for a few days...I am so hurt by what you did to me!" I am not kidding. That was his response. Don't think you can win these people over with enough love or gifts or help! It's not only never good enough...a GIFT can and will be used against you as a weapon!! (I also paid for BOTH of us to have a vacation in Fiji a couple months before and bought a house and invited him to live in it with me for free if he'd promise to be kind. I even offered him to live in the guest cabin for free if he wanted to buy it from me if he needed more space or independence. He got angry about that too...the house was on a lake just like he asked but it was just too far to drive. Bleck. Gross 😝) He has no savings, no retirement, no house, and he was still willing to treat me this horribly. Run from these people until or unless they ever get humble enough to repent and humble themselves and take full responsibility for their part. He's not a diagnosed narcissist. Maybe he has some other disorder or was hurt as a child. Maybe he is just a spoiled brat...it doesn't really matter...because the damaging effects on other people are the same. God bless them in healing, but if they can't or won't...leave. I dumped him, finally.

@canadianlady777

4 жыл бұрын

Christian One ..paid €185 for and arranged a beautiful trip to Lake Como, Italy....He drank too much the night before and couldn’t get organized, out the door or over to the bus with me...He wouldn’t or couldn’t keep up with me...instead of being grateful for the gift of a life time, he blamed me for walking too fast and leaving him behind...I told him to hurry so we could find the right bus and or even have time to get a cup of coffee before climbing onboard...My husband has long legs at 6 foot, I’m short at 5’4”...who do you think should be able to out pace the other?...He just did not want to cooperate and give me the joy of this trip I wanted for the two of us...

AMAZING explanation! Thank you

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

Freedom thank you so much!

Your videos have opened my eyes. Thank you Stephanie. My goodness, you are so beautiful inside and out. Your makeup is so soft and beautiful.

@StephanieLynCoaching

6 жыл бұрын

september luketz oh my goodness thank you so much! I’m so happy that you’re getting some good insight from the videos and that you are enjoying them!

You explained it all 💯 . Good job 👏

Thank you for this video I think I am codependent people please thus I attract narcissistic partners. I also realized I was raised by narcissistic people. Their lack of empathy it is scary but it should be s sign for me to get out or limit their existence in my life as much as possible. I also feel lots of people I meet through university lack empty and are very self involved. I think narcissism it is increasing. Thank you.

I know a family of them! They like to act like they're special.

@njebonyqueen33

6 жыл бұрын

Valerei Renfro me too..

@steffiea6197

6 жыл бұрын

Narcs hang together, they are of like mind. INSANE

@BEE-lq2nh

4 жыл бұрын

The Kardashian’s?

@r2d2s62

3 жыл бұрын

Me too my in-laws

🎯 spot on with the sweet/mean cycle! True survivors who've been sabotaged, abused & betrayed can still accept accountability for their own faults and do not have a a mean streak or an edge.

Thank you. What I experienced with the gal I was dating was so bewildering and still is at times. She portrayed herself to others as the kind sweet girl, when she would come home it was all negative about her friends and coworkers. She also used that sweetness with me at the beginning overtime her mask fell. It’s been about 5 months since the last time I saw her and there are times when I remember the kind sweet person she portrayed and start to feel like I was the bad one, I look at these videos and a list of what I experienced to remind me. The fact is, the relationship (if it can be called that) was a symptom of my inner self. At a certain point we have to move away from them being the focus and ourselves being the focus to heal, recognize where we need to grow positively, love ourselves and create an inner peace. Thank you for your videos as you don’t just focus on them, but also add that we need to focus on creating a healthier version of ourselves.

Wow. Incredibly accurate.

My past coworker did this to my mangers and co workers. It was so bad that I couldn't take it anymore so I left. Yes I'm unemployed but I'm much better health wise. I can't believe she gets away with this. I'll never let a narcissist play with me ever again.

Thank YOU!! Great info and explanations

Thank you. Your videos have been great supportive in healing from this abusive nercs.

I met a covert narcissist. The good thing, I was able to go away from him. He fits your description.

Yes! Thank you for this entry. I kept wondering if someone could be narcisstic without overt tendencies.

@christianpulisic7784

3 жыл бұрын

Rachelle Speer,I admire your pretty smile ☺️

Such great content -- Thank you, Stephanie ! BTW, Nice shirt -- GREAT color.

With my covert ex I found that he had two groups of people in our town (you either love him or hate him) the people that love him just have not seen his mask slip yet.