While i do believe "nice guy" syndrome is definitely a thing, i also feel like it places a negative stereotype on those of us who are nice for the sake of being a decent person. I've never done something nice for someone because i wanted something, I do it because there's enough shitty people in the world, and I don't need to add to it. Be kind to make someone's day!

@bishop51807

7 ай бұрын

Nice vs Kind ppl: kind people ask for nothing, nice people can be doing nice things to be transactional or expecting something back.

@WhiteoutMonster

7 ай бұрын

Being good is, well, good. You don't have to be nice, to be good either.

@chibigoji5080

7 ай бұрын

@@bishop51807 couldn't have said it any better

@chibigoji5080

7 ай бұрын

@@WhiteoutMonster 100%

@onnie.6815

7 ай бұрын

Yea, you’re one of the guys they’re talking about. Defending urself when no one made u the villain 👀

I remember when "nice guy" was used to describe a man who was too kind and often put others before themselves despite the hurdles it would create. Now it's used as a somewhat derogatory term for a guy who's self-entitled and manipulative, while "simp" and "doormat" have replaced the original term.

@reflex9238

6 ай бұрын

Same, never understood how the heck nice guy eventually became a sort of insult or a way to describe manipulative people.

@MrEdrftgyuji

6 ай бұрын

"Simp" means someone who repeatedly throws his money and time at someone who will never reciprocate. Being nice means being g supportive and helping people in need. Not throwing your money at thots.

@lunard8690

6 ай бұрын

in general most people just want to be good people, its not about manipulation, its about not wanting to be a terrible person, i try to be a pacifist and non confrontational person because i dont want to be a bad person, i know what its like to be hurt froom a young age so i dont want others to feel that way, however i do feel jaded, ive been alone for a long time, my physical and mental health have continued to deteriorate, its depressing to feel like you are a failure and that the only way anyone would ever care about you is if you had more money, i was married once, i still have a 3 inch scar on my right arm to remember my last christmas being married to my exwife, that was 7 years ago

@stephaniejohnson5361

6 ай бұрын

i disagree. Treating a women nicer than you would treat a guy just because they are female is simp behavior

@cashi4225

6 ай бұрын

I know right. As Indonesian, sometime I confuse about the nice guy meant. My culture often emphasis to looking a nice guy or a decent guy for spouse. I call my husband Mr Nice Guy because he is polite and kind. And also because of Jackie Chan movie 😅.

"just be yourself" the worst advice one can give you.

@vivianriver6450

5 ай бұрын

"Just be yourself." "No, not like that!"

@DarkKatzy013

5 ай бұрын

Yup

@jadawngriffis3745

5 ай бұрын

Be yourself if you want a soulmate and be whatever you think they want you to be to just get some quick pussy.

@brendarobles7670

5 ай бұрын

Only if u suck

@KoeSeer

4 ай бұрын

maybe the right word is just be (the best of) yourself? just be (the person people expect you to be) yourself? just be (the most socially connected of) yourself? idk man, human social interaction is complicated.

"Id rather be a good man than a nice guy." Is a motto i live by.

@hanarielgodlike9283

4 ай бұрын

Good man is just nice guy with another package...

@akiuarasan

3 ай бұрын

They're just the same stup1d but the only thing about nice guy got a bad rep cuz either woman will get a manipulator fake nice guy or either they just want a thrill with the badboys and end up to be a single mom.

@dr.d3011

2 ай бұрын

This 🔥🔥🔥🔥☝️☝️ Good men know the difference between good and evil, and have no problem stomping out the latter. Nice guys have no boundaries and will get along to get along

@blue_wolfproductions12

2 ай бұрын

Exactly

@EntertheFray1

2 ай бұрын

There is no difference between 'good' and 'nice'. The only difference is that people have slapped on positive connotations to 'good,' and negative connotations to 'nice.' In 10 years it will change to 'kind man' or some other variant, and 'good man' will become the old 'nice guy' full of negative connotations. The problem is that it is spurned by the no true scotsman fallacy. Nice guys aren't 'truly' nice because after being treated like a doormat by a woman several times over, they snap and become resentful towards that girl. The girls, rather than take responsibility for taking advantage, then copout with "if you were truly nice, you wouldn't be bitter. you're not nice after all. you're just pretending to be." - It means that the girl is put into a situation where she needs to take accountability and face the guilt of her actions, which they won't do, so it's deflected back towards the man instead by implying he's not 'truly' nice. But that is a no true scotsman fallacy. No person who is human can ever 'truly' be nice 100% of the time. They aren't pretending to be nice, just because they stop being that way after a certain limit. That's just some fabricated extreme. All humans have a tolerance limit of being walked all over. In reality it's the women who take advantage of nice men and capitalize on it. The truth is that kindness is not appreciated by a lot of women these days. That's all there is to it. It is seen as weakness. It's not respected and instead it's exploited. So be selective to which women you are nice to. Not all women deserve it.

Story 2 really brings a lot to light. The internet is probably the most toxic place in the world. Its a place where you can make fun of someone or hurl major accusations without having to worry about any consequences. The idea that someone can be labeled a "Nice Guy" when they just wanna vent about putting in so much effort into a relationship and coming out with literally nothing.

@user-ky2it8qc5k

6 ай бұрын

There are no consequences in real life, for certain people.

@illuminatiglobal2860

6 ай бұрын

Western shit

@solomia5037

6 ай бұрын

yea ig its okay to vent but the idea that they think they should have gotten something for their effort when nobody owes them anything is off putting on its own

@bdaddy503

6 ай бұрын

Well said sire

@user-zv8md9xv8c

6 ай бұрын

Why? They're saying that they notice "deserving" seems arbitrary when it comes to meeting someone. One of YOUR rules in relationships might be; "never mention what "I" should be doing for "you"." The truth is people and the world DO owe you things. They do because if they get to expect things from you, then it's vice versa. However, people create and take shitty deals all the time. Both of those things can be true. @@solomia5037

You know, it's stories like these is a reason why the world is full of toxic people and jerks. You have people that are actually trying to be nice, but it seems like negativity tends to be favored more in society. Basically nice people are not respected. People can disagree with me on this, but I stopped being nice when people started taking advantage of me and treating me poorly for doing what i think is right. Hell, I've had people get angry at me for holding the door open for them even though i was raised to believe that it was right.

@emanuelespinoza9325

7 ай бұрын

I usually treat people how I want to be treated, but even that is not a respectable act. I am not going to start acting like a jerk because of it, but it seems like today's world thrives on negativity. People are never happy that they want to rant about stuff online. And people wondered why I chose to keep to myself when I was younger. As someone who is autistic, while my friend and I would hang out in a classroom, we never really liked being out where everyone else was. It didn't help that people I didn't know would give me dirty looks if I sat in an open spot at a table and paid them no mind.

@cossodummy188

6 ай бұрын

I got to be fair i get displease when i man hold a door and says "lady first". One: i dont like to be reminded that im a female, two: its feel like you have to do it not you want to do it. I like holding doors for others because it feels good doing nices things and i want guys to feel the same. I know its a gentleman thing but just dont say "ladies first" might save you alot of troubles.

@nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115

6 ай бұрын

@@cossodummy188 "i dont like to be reminded that im a female" I understand since being a woman is such a disgrace; lacking a soul, a true identity... it must be very awful.

@newturtle3

6 ай бұрын

People see you as gullible Its human nature sadly

@jebes909090

6 ай бұрын

Humans are greedy jerks. Look at all the exploitation of charities to see that. 500+ BILLION spent world wide EVERY year and nothing changes. You know why? The people taking those resources dont actually need it. A VERY small % of that money goes to its intended target.

The fact that being a nice guy is actually a bad thing, makes me glad I'm single. Because the past years that made me turn from a nice guy into a nihilistic rusty nail of a man, showed me the reality that there is an endless amount of selfish people out there who would most of the time, only like you if you have something they want. Turns out... I understand why cynical introverts exist. People suck.

@SizzleCorndog

6 ай бұрын

It’s not that being a nice person is bad. The “nice guy” stereotype is a person who believes they deserve women’s affection as a reward for being a decent human rather than going out of their way to form or pursue a romantic relationship

@LedZedd

5 ай бұрын

​@@SizzleCorndogCringe and woefully fucking irrelevent.

@LedZedd

5 ай бұрын

Don't waste your time brother, women cannot acknowledge anything men do- and are biologically incapable of loving a man. Don't blame yourself, though continue to improve for you own sake. Never theirs.

@SizzleCorndog

5 ай бұрын

@@LedZedd totally not irrelevant to point out the lack of self reflection thats often present in the stereotypical nice guy. This dude is talking about how being a nice guy is actually a bad thing, thats incel shit.

@LedZedd

5 ай бұрын

@@SizzleCorndog But that's not what happens. You're behind. Things have come full circle, and newsflash not every person thinks or acts how you do. If you knew or could see how often normal niceties or politeness are demonized now you'd see why this shit is irrelevent. "Nice Guy" doesn't mean the same thing anymore, and frankly the original meaning was never common anyway and was overblown online.

I have a sign on my bathroom mirror: "You are looking at the person who will make you happy today"

@Caelus32

7 ай бұрын

Maybe I should do that

@xplorer2111

4 ай бұрын

Ow, that's cute!

@pdmfitness

4 ай бұрын

That's some good self positive affirmation, I like that.

@allstar_

2 ай бұрын

My sign says "SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN"

@zay_tiggygaming

2 ай бұрын

I need one of those

A girl I loved and lived with for 9 months spent the entire time I had known her messing with my head and leading me on in an effort to get me to off myself over her. When I confronted her, she happily confessed and tried to make me do it right then and there. I wanted to be a dad since I was 13, and because of her I doubt I’ll ever trust a woman again. That’s why I’m not Mr. nice guy anymore.

@SeageSpeaks

6 ай бұрын

Pretty sure someone got arrested for something like that. I'm glad you're still with us. Screw that monster. You should have gathered evidence and reported her. That's actual criminal behavior.

@julonkrutor4649

6 ай бұрын

While not all are the same, the sad truth is, that you need to protect yourself from those woman. My advise is to do wath i did: take revange. The best revange is liveing a good and long life. That is a lot of work - but worth it. Now, i have to cook and then later hit the gym 😂 Live long and happy, brother.

@roboteen

5 ай бұрын

Doesn’t matter what he has against her nothing would have come of it. All she would have to do is toss a little false accusation into the mix and his life is ruined. The justice system doesn’t care about men, neither does the family court system with divorce and child support.

@Koiahi

5 ай бұрын

@@roboteenhonestly the best option to is slowly get away from the limelight Don’t reveal how great you’re doing to them or others that have wronged you. In reality it’s not their business but yours to improve

@unknown-hn7ib

5 ай бұрын

I thought mine was bad but damn. Wtf is urs. When I was a teen , I just thought that being in a relationship wouldn't be bad or anything. Both parties just gotta make sacrifices for each other , make one another happy and so on and done. But nope. Definitely didn't work out like that. I was pretty innocent back then , just kept writing a whole good morning paragraph for my ex gf so that she can wake up and be happy after reading it , feel loved and so on. Then yeah , a ton of stuff happened. Didn't feel appreciated , started to feel mad , upset and so on then later on she confessed that she lied , saying that she's going to sleep so that she can stop talking to me then went to stay up with another guy till 2am. Then also pushed each other into swimming pool and who knows what else they did that night. After that , I completely lost all trust in women lol. Whenever a girl talks to me , I feel uncomfortable cus it made me remember those times that I've been cheated on and stuff. Also before that relationship, had another relationship and yeah , I got cheated and dumped too. That girl had no remorse or anything. Just confessed and dumped me immediately but yeah. Anyways tho , honestly , u dodged a whole as bomb.

The fact that not a single person ive been overly good to stayed in my life,reaches out, or cares about me. I have absolutely no one in my life. Ive completely given up on making friends or having a relationship. I either have terrible choice in ppl or im just unlovable. When i say too good to ppl i mean ive given homes to ppl without charge for as long as they needed, helped ppl through their problems, genuinely listened, literally fought for ppl, and loved my partners unconditionally, and tried my hardest to be the best boyfriend/husband. I had better luck with ppl when i treated them as disposable. Probably gonna go back to that.

@leehalloway8787

2 ай бұрын

Be overly good to yourself first.

I was a nice kid, then i got bullied, i thaught "it's ok, not all people are like them", then all school bullied, so i theught "it's ok, i will be fine later", then no girlfriend, never the point of interest, and when everyone loves you, no one really does, so i went to severe depression wich started after middle school, so 17 years of depression now, a lack of confidence in everyone including myself, being told im worthless because im a man, that i had an easy life because im white, that i can't understand traumas, that i have to "man up" about my feelings, that i have to change because i am the "problem", not that i have one, no no i AM. And hard working on my fat body made me stop being the "nice guy".

@theguybehindyou4762

5 ай бұрын

Your story sounds a lot like mine. Fuck middle school.

@blastphantomgames6369

4 ай бұрын

Folks will swear up and down they are good people whole they do it to you as well

@permazero

2 ай бұрын

Strive to be kind to whom ever cross your path, even if just at first but NEVER be nice just becuz and NEVER be nice because you believe you have to. Unfortunately, the only life you’ll ultimately save is your own. We can not live for another person, because of another person or live their lives for them. What you’ve seen is a breaking down of what makes you a great man (eventually) - many ppl have seen what you still have yet to fully embrace within yourself. Some thought you were so confident that any outside help you didn’t ask for would damage you and the others were jealous of the strides you’ve made. Be the man the world needs. Don’t always lean on “be yourself” becuz many jealous and wicked ppl will try to mold you into a form you were never meant to adhere to. 🤝🏾

@gamerelitevlogs6300

2 ай бұрын

Sounds like my entire time going to school from elementary to high school I use to also be a nice guy and people said the exact same thing to me about how I am the problem not that I have multiple problems even my own family thinks I’m the problem so I just say screw everyone and to not trust people so I feel you bro

@carlosgonzalez1937

2 ай бұрын

Same here but I found Jesus save my life and cured my depression

the co worker who simply told him "not everyone has to like you" gave him the best advice anyone can give. there are alot of reasons why somebody might not like you that neither party is in the wrong. Sometimes certain personalities just don't mix with others, or somebody might bear a resemblence to an ex partner that was abusive making it triggering for the other to be around them so you avoid them. there are a ton of valid reasons to not want to be around somebody even if you don't have any actual animosity to them.

@emanuelespinoza9325

6 ай бұрын

While you made some valid points, she went out of her way to make her distaste known. She gave him dirty looks, and because they worked together, she wouldn't talk to him, which shows she wasn't being professional. This is the workplace. Sure, she didn't have to be friends with the guy. Fine, I get that. But it's different when you are in an environment where it's expected to have some sort of interaction, but she wanted none of it, and for what reason? Because "not everyone has to like you"? Like I said in my comment, she seemed like a bitch. Sure, not all personalities can gel, that's okay. But her behavior wasn't exactly justified.

@borise4104

6 ай бұрын

The true meaning of that phrase is to stop acting like you want people like you. Just don't bother. More chances for people like you if you don't want them to like you.

@jhakardballoch2986

5 ай бұрын

@@emanuelespinoza9325You're probably very correct about the girl, but I still think this was one of the best ways to learn this lesson.

@emanuelespinoza9325

4 ай бұрын

@@jhakardballoch2986 How was that a good way to learn that lesson? The girl was a major bitch. Her behavior was indefensible.

@dannycolwell8028

2 ай бұрын

There’s a girl at work who looks, sounds, and acts pretty similar to my ex and I just avoid her as much as I can 😂

I literally was the "nice guy", i didn't expect anything from anyone for doing a good deed because that's how I was raised. However, this made most girls not be interested in me, I was actually told me being nice was too much for her. I was confused because I did know the "nice guy" stereotypes but i wasn't compared to that but was genuinely being kind for kindness sake and I enjoyed it. But it's always weird meeting girls that hated me being genuinely nice, saying real people aren't like that and i should act normal. This blow my mind, the same girls got with guys that treat the harshly and have cheated on them. I mean I don't want to judge them for this as everyone is free to do whatever they want but this had me questioning my whole identity. I didn't think being actually nice could cause someone to go for a guy who is bad for them to feel real, and I actually hurt deeply by this so i went to see a therapist. I wouldn't have gone to see a specialist if it only happened once but this did happen multiple times and I wasn't sure if I was doing something wrong. One girl just went out of her to try to get me to be upset by any means just to see if she could break, i was what people call a Patient Soul so I don't dread so easily. And when she couldn't her last attempt was to get me to fall for her so she did whatever she can to get me to like her, at this point i figure maybe something is truly wrong with her so me and my friends found a way to get out of her why she was trying so hard. The answer was "I hate you, i hate that you're nice even to me and even i know i don't deserve it. I hate that you don't get sad when the girl you liked betrayed you even though you helped her out of a crisis but she dates the friend that did nothing. I hate that you cheer everyone on and help all you can and ask for nothing. How am I supposed to feel after you me see myself for the monster I've been? Where is your hate, your saddness? Are you human?". This made me question everyone else, "do i make you feel inferior to me?" a few said "yes" others didn't see it that way but was sorta uncomfortable around me for it. I didn't know how to respond to this, if i respond positively then this justifies her point but acting negative would be immature though I'm 16 (at the time). So i stayed quiet and walked away, a few years later the girl got back to me and apologized, telling me that after i had left she lived her life thinking she wasn't in the wrong until she was in a situation she had no to trust and rely on. I just wanted people to know that I cared and wanted to surrounded by friends, got the opposite.

@samuraitadpole5459

6 ай бұрын

Are you me because this sound extremely similar to my life, I just accepted that most women aren't for me

@PJ92586

6 ай бұрын

@@samuraitadpole5459 I'm happily married now, I just toned down the level of niceness and acted a little selfish for my own well being. Seems to have done the trick, accepted not everyone is going to like being treated with respect (?), it is women I have this problem with but I had never cared if they liked me or not I was raised to respect others as you want to be respected. Sadly some women just want a reason to complain and rip apart people that are toxic for them because they're toxic themselves (an excuse to be toxic). 🤷

@SeageSpeaks

6 ай бұрын

Sounds like most of the people in your childhood needed *serious* therapy. That's some pent up nonsense. Glad that one girl came back to apologize. The amount of projection was insane.

@alexinfinite7142

5 ай бұрын

People get uncomfortable around their moral superiors. And the more immature they are the worse they'll go after you for it. When really they should just be relieved they have someone around that isn't trash

@lordgrim355

4 ай бұрын

You’re the guy I always talk about when I say nice guys. Like genuine nice dudes who get did dirty. Like you think a woman would want that but nope. It’s the weirdest dumbest shit I’ve ever seen.

Honestly, I just learned that love only happens to people that are lucky. I'm NOT one of those people. Over the years I've had many unrequited crushes and had my best girl stab me in the back. I'm tired trying to figure women out. I'm just going to live for myself and be comfortable in my own skin. Seeking relationships is a humiliating and draining experience. I'm not going to say I'm a nice guy, but I do treat people right and expect the same respect. I ain't changing for anyone.

I cant tell you how many times Ive given a girl a ride home from work because she doesnt have a ride and Im just doing something for a co-worker and people think im doing it to get in her pants. Oddly enough no one even notices if I've given guys rides home. Its infuriating. Sometimes nice guys are literally just that and dont need to change shit. I also remember a time in high school when it was a particularly chilly night and one of my friends who was a girl was in a t shirt, shivering, and rubbing her arms. I had a coat and a hoodie on so i was toasty. I offered her my coat. She accepted and said thank you. For the next couple of weeks there was a rumor going around that I liked her and got the reputation of a "nice guy" that I was never able to shake...I never understood why doing something nice for the sake of it is instantly perceived as romantic interest and an expectation of reciprocation. In one of the stories here they sort of imply that doing something for someone else at the expense of yourself is a character flaw. It isnt. People merely incorrectly perceive your motives when you help someone at the expense of yourself, because most people are so pathetically narcissistic they can't fathom giving someone a ride home from work that's in the opposite direction of their house, because they would never do that without a favor given in return. It's projection. Being nice isn't a character flaw. It's called empathy...not sympathy. Its completely irrelevant to your ability to "get girls." And if it isn't, and doing nice things for people without a manipulative motive is affecting your reputation and ability to get girls because people assume you are manipulative, then those people are too prejudiced to be involved in your life. Im not going to change my behavior because of peoples incorrect, and prejudiced perceptions about my motives. Don't be afraid to be perceived as a "nice guy" by self interested, projecting people who don't know you. They're assuming your motives because they're projecting what their motives would be in that same situation. Don't let other people's opinions or perceptions change who you are.

@nate2838

Ай бұрын

Unfortunately, you just described what seems to be at a bare minimum, 80% of the population when describing the type of people too prejudiced to be allowed in your life (you in the context of person reading the comment). And, this is why I'm basically done with people in general.

@guyledouche4918

Ай бұрын

@@nate2838 80 seems a little low dont you think lol?

@YoMike91

Ай бұрын

Well said! Also how I see the phrase nice guys finish last it comes across as high school bullshit and there is a fine line between being nice and being a pushover. Really it should be the pushovers finish last. I feel the saying is way over used and people are making harder than it needs to be. It's like you can't solve a math problem by chewing bubblegum.

I stopped being the nice guy because I got to a point where no one would care if I died. They’d be sad sure but not devastated. I’m not worth anything to anyone. Haven’t been in my 27 years of existence. No one deserves my time, but I’ll still be gentle and kind until I’m graciously gifted with the gift of death and eternal peace. What really solidified it for me was that no where in the Bible does it say we will have spouses in heaven. So genuinely, what is even the point?

@sirpigeoniii

5 ай бұрын

Hey, are you okay?

@pureniku

5 ай бұрын

@@sirpigeoniiihe’s not okay

@DeSeannMaye

4 ай бұрын

I hope you’re doing better

@Drunkmonk2122

2 ай бұрын

I’m 28 and feel the same way …. Even more sad when you have done so much for friends and family and when you need help no one wants to help you ….. my uncle is rich and we grew up doing everything snow boarding hanging out since I was 13 and he has 8 rental properties and a 3 million dollar home all of it is payed off he dosent work he married rich and he won’t even rent me out the studio apartment and he calls me to hangout and knows I’m broke and I haven’t been able to hang and do things in last 6 years and he knows I would’ve helped him if we truly were bros ….. but people would rather have “500-700$ more then help there own family and bond share times together” so that woke me up that even people who are rich and don’t have bills and are your “family/best friend” won’t even be there 😂 so ya don’t expect anyone to ever be a friend or anything just learn to be alone and get into cars that’s what’s saved me is cars

@jfschmidt84

Ай бұрын

@thekellofkells9229, there is marriage in heaven, Christ the bride groom and his church the bride ✝️

To get out of the nice guy trap is quite simple. You need to live your life unapologetically. If you're saying "sorry" because someone has an opinion about how you're living then you're being a nice guy. But if you say "no, I live the way how the fuck I want to," congrats you're one step out of being a nice guy. Another thing is, your energy and appearance has no polarity. You can be a kind person, but if you look like somebody who's frail or obese and can't throw a punch, you will be seen as a nice guy. When I started losing weight and putting on muscle, I instantly got more respected by men and women. Focusing on yourself is the key ingredient to destroying the inner nice guy. Be kind, but be strong and capable both physically and mentally. Know that you can fuck shit up if you have to. And now you're a good man.

@creeperkinght1144

4 ай бұрын

It's like the saying "A wise king prepares for war but never seeks it out". The way I understand this is that one should improve and prepare oneself for whatever they can in both whatever they desire and wherever they are needed and any problems that come at them. They should also be careful to not to constantly seek out things that could pull them under or get them into a spot that not even they can easily escape, but know when they can face it if necessary.

Never stopped being the nice guy, realized at a very early age that the pretty girl would peak in high school, and just raised the bar on who is worthy of my kindness.

Being a nice guy is a fool’s errand. It doesn’t usually pay out. None of my High School bullies were single, and abusive guys usually pull in women pretty easily. It seems stupid, but I know there’s a reason for that. It really is stupid, but there’s no reason to become bitter because of it. This world doesn’t owe you anything. You have to fight for what you want. Build a stronger “you”, so when the right one comes along that does appreciate you for you being a decent person, you can make her truly happy. There’s more to life than romance anyway. There’s a lot of freedom in being single. You get to take risks, and travel, and enjoy your time.

@freedomdude5420

6 ай бұрын

Nice guys are boring, this is a ugly true.

@vaderkurt7848

5 ай бұрын

​@@freedomdude5420Your parents are probably boring bro.

@dr.d3011

4 ай бұрын

Nice guys are gross. There is nothing good about being nice. There is something good about being good. Good men, when they see evil will stand up against it. Nice guys will go along with it. What makes the bullies better than the nice guys is that they have boundaries and they enforce them. Now they do commit acts of evil, but at least that one aspect of them is more authentic than you were at that time.

@krenan-hb8qr

2 ай бұрын

No.

@iiCounted-op5jx

2 ай бұрын

@@dr.d3011 very well said 💯💯

I can relate to most of the stories on this video. I was a “Nice Guy” for most of my life. For years I would lend a hand to do favors and help girls then expect something in return. I didn’t respect boundaries with female coworkers that I found attractive. And always expressed my frustrations with my horrible luck dating women on social media. Got frustrated when my female friends that I show interest in keep me in the friends zone. Then three years ago I completely changed my outlook on things. I stopped looking for women to date, I respected my boundaries with women, work to improve myself and my health, focus on work and doing the things I enjoy. I’m living my best life. This has dramatically improved my relationship with people around me.

@guyledouche7939

6 ай бұрын

Expecting something in return isn't nice. You were never a nice guy. Nice guys are actually nice.

@greyscalesx

6 ай бұрын

​@@guyledouche7939is this your first day on the internet ? ''Niceguys TM'' is how we call these types of ppl who do nice things & expected something in return, they've been called that bc they say this phrase often ''i'm such a nice guy'' & ''nice guys always finish last!" So ppl have been posting their dm's, posts & stories on Reddit in r/niceguys No one actually things they are nice. Also btw being nice is just being friendly/polite. Being nice without expecting anything in return is called being kind.

@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259

6 ай бұрын

He put it in quotes​@@guyledouche7939

@demofess0099

6 ай бұрын

I don't blame you for expecting something in return some people is gonna expect something ofc at some point mean the mind it's something else.

@reflex9238

6 ай бұрын

@@guyledouche7939thank you

"True kindness should be effortless, not a performance." Wow what a jaw dropping eye opener quote for me.

@blastphantomgames6369

4 ай бұрын

Doing the right thing can be the most difficult

@V4Now

4 ай бұрын

I don't really believe that, kindness like many good things require sacrifice of some sort, that can be hard.

@pureniku

4 ай бұрын

@@blastphantomgames6369 it can be

@pureniku

4 ай бұрын

@@V4Now maybe but the important question you have to ask yourself is "was it worth it?"

@Jose-yt3qz

2 ай бұрын

The only issue with that is that by the moment kindness is effortless, then kindness is easy, thus not really worth of value. See that we value kindness because it is hard to be kind. Imagine if that was not the case? Such a world would quickly become far hellish than our own.

As I got older, there are two types of "nice guys," one who are truly kind and one that just does it to try to get what they want with someone that they like, such as a date or more. While it's good to be kind, it doesn't mean that they'll have romantic feelings for you. Be kind to just be kind. On top of that, not everyone is gonna like you as a person, regardless of how nice you are to them. Just do your thing and find ways to enjoy life. At some point, someone will find you attractive in some way or form and would like to date you.

Being punished for what society told me the right thing to do whilst watching people being rewarded for fucking up changed me. I’m bad guy now, fuck the world.

I tried helping everyone I could, be everyone’s friend, give advice and make everyone happy, but guess what? As soon as my usefulness was over I was dropped by everyone. I then noticed no one missed me once I stopped helping people and that everyone just moved on from me. I started watching Manosphere videos about how women hate nice guys, how they don’t like emotional guys. One day I heard a former female friend of mine making fun of me behind my back and that was the final push I needed, it hurt really bad and I said no more. I took down my social medias, I became introverted by choice and started working out like the men in the videos I watched said, I also started ignoring everyone and if anyone needed help I told them to look elsewhere for help because I was done being everyone’s lap dog. Slowly I started to show zero emotion about people and I realized that people respect the new me more than the old me. This made me realize that it’s not just women who don’t like nice, society as a whole that don’t like nice people. Society loves douchebags who are not afraid of getting what they want, those are the people in positions of power, not the nice people. So if life has taught me anything is that being nice gets you nowhere, you have to be either a douchebag or a cold hearted a*hole who isn’t afraid of saying no to people

@AJadedLizard

6 ай бұрын

Sounds like you may just have been bad at it, to be honest.

@Damesanglante

Ай бұрын

Capitalism have ruined mankind.

My entitlement of “nice guy” went away when after another friend rejected me I realized I wanted friends that were more than just failed love conquests. I’m still working on myself to be genuine with my feelings and actions. Trying to live through what you think other people say you act like also contributed a lot to the “nice guy” routine.

@guyledouche4918

6 ай бұрын

You didn't have the entitlement of a nice guy you had the entitlement of an entitled guy. Stop using nice guys as a derogatory term when the word nice doesn't apply.

People, specifically women, don’t like genuinely nice guys. They just don’t. It’s a turn off for them. Look around and see who women are dating and who they surround themselves with and you’ll find out what they want, it isn’t the dude holding the door for her, dressing up nice for a date, opening the car door, etc etc. she won’t respect you, she will walk all over you.

@gamesake999

2 ай бұрын

*Neurotypicals. Autistic women love "nice guys". Like their little Disney prince or sum shit.

@CoolioPs-hb1jy

Ай бұрын

Nice guys are a means to an end for most women, they use them until the nice guy finally realises all those empty words never meant anything, then that man usually snaps and gets posted online. How many times does a man start out just being genuinely nice, start getting shown affection for doing it, develop feelings, carry on doing those things to further make the women happy and gain more affections, start to realise they are getting used, and blow their top, its everyday bro

People need to accept the biggest, harshest elephant in the room. A lot of attraction is based on looks. As much as some clowns want to play contrarian and say looks don't matter, it's just objectively false. People treat you better based on how you look/present yourself. Ergo, in the context of pursuing romance, your odds improve by that much if you are just more attractive. It is why one of the most consistent ways to improve your chances is to improve your physical appearance as much as you can. Workout. Diet. Learning how to dress. Cleaning yourself up a bit more. All of that is infinitely more useful than stupid advice like be yourself - when clearly being yourself hasnt been working a reason.

@spinmaster0

Ай бұрын

True - you can easily turn yourself into a 5-out-of-10 from how you present yourself at least. It's naive to think otherwise that appearance is not important. Try going into a job interview with torn jeans and expletives on your T-shirt, plastered with tattoos and see how far you get!

@greenpinapple820

Ай бұрын

Looks only matter in the beginning, plenty of attractive people are still disliked and failures romantically. Cause relationships are more than just how you look. If you want it to just be based on looks then youll never have a family maybe a baby momma but her kids probably wont call you "dad"

@josefstalin9678

21 күн бұрын

Being yourself isn't stupid advice unless you suck. Generally what people mean when they say it is that you shouldn't lie to yourself or the person you're interested in about who you are as a person. That just makes you seem like a fake people pleaser. Don't pretend to be interested in things you aren't, dont lie about your thoughts and opinions because you think he/she will disagree with you. I genuinely can't stand people on dates who act super interested in what I talk about and pretend they like it too, only to find out they were just playing along so the date would be successful. The whole point is to get to know the person and you can't do that if both of you are pretending to be someone else

@outlaster3431

19 күн бұрын

​@@greenpinapple820yea but thw beginning is whats.leads to anything , if i cant start it why am o focusing on what i am going to in the middle

@outlaster3431

19 күн бұрын

​@@josefstalin9678you can be yourself.and be a good person and still fail, just like how you can be a shitty person and still succeed , be yourself is actually not that good of an advice

I quit being a "nice guy" at 16. My gf at the time had a foursome with her classmates. I was devastated - i didn't know how to deal with that. I really cared about her and I remember never wanting to feel like that again. It was for the best. It made me a stronger man. I am a little colder for it, but I think just a little cold indifference is important in life.

This post was made for me. I'm middle-aged. My mother raised me to be the typical "Southern Gentleman". Treat her too well, coat in the puddle nonsense. I was treated like a doormat. I was used abused and confused. She was a second wave womenist. Outside sales in the 70s, when women didn't do that sort of thing. I'm very comfortable dealing with people. A trait I likely got from her. Mom was a cheerleader and homecoming queen, dad was track and class president. I was blessed with good genes. Add a charismatic personality and I never had issues with the ladies. Add competitive swimmer from 10 to 14 and I was very fit. Add Dad being the local volunteer fire department chief who brought me in, where I was in full bunker gear and breathing apparatus at 14, with a couple of mentions in the local newspaper and I had mothers trying to hook me up with their daughters. But boy was I naive. Idealistic is an understatement. I still have an over developed sense of fairness. I just got fed up. To the point of cynicism. When I lost interest they found it. Girls are weird. They tell you exactly the opposite of what they want. Mom is an example. Once I understood they really responded to being ignored I became Darth Vader. I acted exactly like "modern women" are now. Truly despicable. I was working in bars and restaurants in a college town at 17 and cutting out a lot of stuff, I accumulated a triple digit body count before I calmed TF down. I took some time to get my head right, and started thinking about quality versus quantity. Do not EVER grant chivalry to a woman initially. They perceive that as simpery. You cannot be too nice to women. Once you find a keeper you can give that to her. I'm in a 12 year relationship with a woman who honestly is in a better place than me, for now. (In school for IT and on my third career) Listen to Kevin Samuels and look for an adjustable 6. Listen to me and never chase a woman. Wait for one you can be happy with, who has character as her best asset and you won't be led astray. If she sees you as the prize she landed, she will appreciate you much more. As effed up as it sounds, you want to be the one "less in love". That'll change if you're smart. But don't let her know. Lastly, pick on her. Tease her, scare TF out of her now and then, tickle her if she'll tolerate it. Women HAVE to have a little drama llama. If you don't provide it in a controlled manner they'll introduce it in ways you could never imagine. If you do these few things you will have a better relationship and life overall. To demonstrate how important it feels to me to share this information with young men in particular, and that God has a sense of humor, I was blessed with two daughters. The player with two daughters. Insert eyeroll. I taught them what player game is so they wouldn't be victims, but I hope everyone, men and women, benefit with better relationships from the small offerings I'm sharing. You may see me as a bad example, but I'm still an example. Just of how NOT to do certain things.

@DocterGordon

2 ай бұрын

thanks for the story

@lonewander6772

2 ай бұрын

Yep. It is more important for the woman to be in love than the man. Women feed on emotions more so they NEED that love for the man to keep going. A man can use logic and reasoning to adjust to a relationship, so they do not require that strong feeling of love that women do to stay in a relationship. A woman WILL follow her feelings to the detriment of her relationship. A man can disregard his feelings and focus on what is best for him objectively.

@MalesAreDemons

Ай бұрын

@@lonewander6772Most males aren’t logical 😂

Story 16 is so reliable. I tell so many people that there's a difference in being "nice" and being "kind"....be kind and expect nothing in return but a peace of mind that you did better then who you were yesterday.

@TheDrapetomanic

2 ай бұрын

simp

Never stop being nice to people, have some boundaries and never tolerate disrespect regardless of gender. This is the good true nice guy way. It's okay and normal to expect something in return for being nice but never ever demand it. The boundaries are also for self-discipline. So, stick to it.

Story 7 is motivational 😢. Man recognized his flaws, made changes, and became successful at something he had not truly understood at first.

Sometime after dropping out of and being ignored by a very nice girl at a party I decided to stop caring and slowly destroy my life as an adult. I'm always near the end. I'm still "nice" but superficial when it used to be genuine, I won't last long as life passes me by while satiating the obvious pain. I've never been devoid of friends or support but I'm just not good at anything as a man or adult to live well. I've never been devoid of friends but it's easy to maintain friendship and acquaintances with lies then to enter romantic relationships with honesty. Which is the problem, I am a big liar, but the truth in my life has never been good enough. I've just accepted my limitations and let myself not engage. Other than being "nice", what else is there of me? I don't care now. 👍🏿

I started out being nice, but I learned early on that people don’t need to be nice back. I have tried to be good just to be good. The main change came about after being in the dating world and relationships. I got tired of being friend zoned or just plain used and abused. I observed that the A-hole guys seemed to get the girls, and the crazy thing was that, despite the mistreatment, many of these girls seemed to come back for more. It seemed counterintuitive but it seemed to work. I had done a stint or two of being the A-hole and enjoyed those same benefits. The problem was that I had to look at myself in the mirror causing me to go back to being somewhat nice but to have standards and that my own desires mattered.

The constant side eye look every time you do something nice for a woman. Normally from other men. Then the inevitable follow up "You like her, that's why you did that for her", when it could have been something as simple as hand her a coffee cup at work...and yes, I've had that happen. The fact that I've now been used 5 times by different woman for attention, emotional support, information about the company (the girl wasn't at the level that I was at so she wasn't privy to some info) and help with various things that are considered 'male things' (like cars, house repairs ect). All things that I have done for my male friends before and have never meant anything special to me. Then, out of nowhere, those same women just start treating me like shit. Was ghosted by 2 of them, 1 accused me of stalking her because she tried to forbid me from going to a public bar with my friends while she was there. I happily pulled the plug on the other 2 once I realised what they were doing. You know what the most hurtful thing about all that is, though? I've never set out to be romantically involved with any woman. I'm just an approachable guy if you spend even 5 minutes talking to me. I have become far less approachable, though. I've had numerous colleagues and people outside of my friend group comment on it. I don't let it affect my friendships though. It's just that new people now have to try a lot harder to get to know me. Thankfully, I'm at an age where I don't really care if I make any new friends.

Used to be a “nice guy”, and It took me awhile to face reality and realize you should prioritize yourself more than others, and that’s how you gain self respect and respect from others

Being used as a taxi and human A.T.M. made me stop being nice!

Fascinating. As a sociologist it is interesting to see younger men internalizing why the friend zone doesn't exist, why they were being bad to women with their feelings, and how they just need to focus on their hobbies and a partner will fall out of the sky while they have fun. I have a 50 year old friend who has 'been himself' for decades without a single new date or new friend. From the logic here I guess the problem is that his self is not good enough...should I go tell him that he needs to improve?

@faizissa8617

5 ай бұрын

​@@sonjailic5770It is also more complex than this. Some people can get a partner even while displaying some of the problematic traits you mentioned

@faizissa8617

5 ай бұрын

@@sonjailic5770 Understandable

@islixxn

5 ай бұрын

u just made up that hes a bad preosn when everyone knows ppl like people that do these@@sonjailic5770

@mistrzdemograficzny4218

5 ай бұрын

@@sonjailic5770 I love that the guy just simply asked for advice and you still somehow managed to turn this into an entire paragraph about yourself. Great job!

@TheDrapetomanic

2 ай бұрын

They weren't being bad to women. You're just a simp.

Hearing these stories has made me realise a few things about myself that I’ve not been able to figure out on my own and while I never did get to the point described by anyone in the video, I certainly was heading down that path. Now, however I am going to make a conscious effort to try to just be myself and to better myself, not for the sake of others but because I need to realise that I’m trying to hard and I’m suffering from it. Thanks for helping the fog that’s been clouding my mind clear up!

In my case, I was never a nice guy, but I have a terrible depression tendency, it manifest by me wanting to isolate, kinda common among depressive people... I remember it hurt a lot when a love interest said something like Im a "nice guy", when explaining to her that I deal with depression my whole life, with such lack of empathy, after she took the time to understand my point, I was ready to leave the relationship, and I did, many years ago... often times, depression is taken as "nice guy" behavior, but its really not... take active care of yourselves, mates!

Nice guys give genuine nice guys a bad wrap. That being said, even genuine nice people have limits

@LowkeySnappin

4 ай бұрын

That part 💯

@thebangles

Ай бұрын

I’m one of the genuine nice guys who got into a fight 20 years ago that I tried to avoid. When it was all over, one of the things his bimbo girlfriend said was “You’re a nice guy! Nice guys aren’t supposed to do that! Only bad boys can do that!”

@TimpBizkit

Ай бұрын

@@thebangles details?

I just realised that being nice have only downsides and no upsides at all. Initially I tought being nice would make ppl like you more but turns out it doesn't, whem i fond out ppl hated nice guys i was first confused but them I felt liberated... I have no obligation to be selfless anymore, and life is easy whem you are selfish.

“You can’t force feelings onto someone and it’s entitled to expect reciprocation.” Wise words.

Being a nice shouldn’t ever have a negative connotation but unfortunately, it does. Years of fake ones pretending has brought this about. Being nice should be a good quality one should have but it’s been perverted

@alwaysxnever

6 ай бұрын

Language is fluid and all that. Some have adopted the reasoning that ,"nice" is transactional, and to be "kind" is what dudes that aren't the supposed nice guys actually are, and I vibe with that.

@stagthechainsawbeserker3926

6 ай бұрын

@@alwaysxnever Isn't everything transactional.

@guyledouche4918

6 ай бұрын

​​​@@alwaysxneverand that reasoning is flawed considering kind and nice are synonyms in this context. Being nice isn't transactional. People are projecting their own motives onto others doing nice things.

@guyledouche4918

6 ай бұрын

​@@stagthechainsawbeserker3926only to a narcissist.

@guyledouche4918

6 ай бұрын

Well...years of fake ones pretending and also years of real ones being labeled as fake ones out of projection.

Being used, that's what drove me away from even attempting to talk to any woman. Money, sex, living assistance, they all used me for their own gain and left lied and/or cheated, especially the most recent one where she "loved" me for two years and as soon as she graduated from college and got a job that pays twice as mine, she left. Recently an ex contacted me and claimed to have changed, I wanted to believe it but after a couple of months she still treats me the exact same way as she did before and doesn't even care that I've been working on depression because of these situations. I've been working well on myself but I break down randomly, I know it'll take time for me to feel better but I'm not going to trust anyone like I used to. I'm glad I can spot liars and cheaters from a mile away but I don't want that. One day I'll find the one who'll care as much as I do, but till then I can't be a nice guy anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore...

I do think that the blame is shared on both ends. Leading a guy on with the intention of not being with him is cruel. If the guy is peacocking around you taking you to fancy places, buying gifts etc then it is clear that he desires more from you than just being a pal. Doing the old push and pull with him is not nice. On the other side when a guy is doing this he also needs to make it clear what he wants. Don't expect anything from another just because you are there.

Hey hes a nice guy and lets pick on him Nice guy snaps I thought he was a nice guy!!!!

@ThatBigRedBear

5 ай бұрын

It takes a lot less than getting picked on. "Nice guys" usually snap as soon as they don't get what they want romantically.

@nacho7782

3 ай бұрын

😂

@iiCounted-op5jx

2 ай бұрын

😂😂

@ezecskornfan

Ай бұрын

ah yeah, the reason why I retaliate to jerkwads with extreme prejudice. Everyone has a bad side, I rather make it useful.

@Damesanglante

Ай бұрын

Found the bully.

I'm late finding this video, but I'm glad that I did. It's honestly refreshing to hear of stories about people who were really in a dark place or bad mindset, actually realise that they're going down a bad path and are moving in a hopefully better direction for themselves.

Basically it boils down to the oxygen masks on airplanes. Put your own mask on before helping someone else. Your needs are just as important as anyone else's. Don't put anyone on a pedestal. That's how I found my wonderful wife (seriously she paid for our second date). She knows I will do anything for her but will also call her out on her crap sometimes. Plus I'm a smooth talking mutha fucka.

The one way to solve all your problems is to get in touch with your inner barbarian

Be nice for the sake of feeling good your self. Gain gratitude from the act, don’t care too much about what people think about you and do the stuff that makes you happy and don’t focus your energy on finding someone. Put your focus in your self. That worked for me

It gets real ironic when your gut reaction -is- to be kind and not fake

I've never developed the full nice guy attitude, but used to have a lot of characteristics and faults that could have made me one if my low selfsteem didn't forbid me to even act. I thought that being kind and chivalrious towards girls woudl eventually make any of them like me, but that never happened. I never mistreated any of them wince i was too much of a coward to berrate anybody for anything, but the bitterness of my failure was there nontheless. And then i just grew up and realized that being just a good person is the minimum required to interact peacefully, but it's nowhere near the key to get love from a girl. The good thing: i got rid of my bad attitude before i became a full fledged douchebag. The bad thing: i realized i don't know a single thig about romance, flirting, reading the mood, etc. Not to mention things like a cancer diagnosis, the death of my paternal grandmother and my maternal grandfather did a serious damage to my heart, so now i have nothing. I know you can be happy single, but i've been so for all my life untill now and i've never even experienced anything remotedly close to be in love or having a romantic partner of any sort. At least when i was a prototipic Nice Guy i thought i jad an idea of how to proceed... But now i'm lost and have no actual hope to reach an answer for my loneliness. I don't want to be a loner all my life, but i don't want to make people fee uncomfortable if i try to flirt woth them. The "the worst they can do is say no" it's bullshit; it's yhe best-worst case scenario... The worst they can actually do is reject you with cruelty and humiliate you in front of others, or piss off those around her and end up beat up. Love simply scares me... But it's either feel lonely or risk it to that kind of situations to happen... I don't think i matured, just gave up.

@kellharris2491

7 ай бұрын

You have been through a lot. I would look into therapy. Until your heart heals you won't be able to be the person you want. Don't give up. Take charge of your growth. There is a lot out there that can help you.

@GodMajik

7 ай бұрын

My friend, you’re overthinking. Just do and enjoy each day, less thinking more action.

I was one and a huge simp. I wanted to do anything with my crush who is now my friend and i realised the more i chased it the futher away it got I truely broke off from that mindset when i went into the military lifestyle. The isolation from normal society is actually pretty refreshing

Upon reading 48 Laws of Power and stumbling across the RP, the aftermath left almost nothing left of my previous nice guy ways. I am a dark phoenix reborn unfortunately.

I'm still a "good guy" and decent person. But I stopped being a nice guy. It has led to less frustration and changed my life

Putting everyone else wants and needs before my own only to realize there's never any reciprocation.

Im sick of being nice and getting used, walked on, and cheated on.

That last phrase “True kindness should be effortless” kinda goes both ways. If someone that you’re offering help to starts putting up barriers, then just walk away and don’t fight it.

For me personally, I was just a selfish twat that saw other people as so far seperate from myself they weren't worth the effort. Most people still aren't, but I realized I'm right there with them in the mud, and no better than anyone else no matter how "good" I am or am percieved. People are strange, try and not be a dick.

i stopped being the nice guy after having my heart ripped out. After that ive learned principles, discipline and to not tolerate disrespect. Got my money up, made connections with film directors (one of the actually worked on a few marvel films) and got my art in a few art shows (second is coming in june). ALL BECAUSE I STOPPED BEING NICE TO EVERYONE

POV you came for the story but stayed for the video game

When I realized kindness and generosity won't make people respect you, they just take advantage of you until you have nothing left to give or they get bored with you. Unfortunately I learned this lesson too late in life.

It all started when I realized that no one actually cares about me. They only use you

For me it when my crush said she like me but she will never date me. Got to love senior year #2024

@kierre23faded47

6 ай бұрын

You'll find the one ur still young just don't be a push over have your limits be cool n smooth n chilled

Man i was a late bloomer and a nice guy but i made sure none of my siblings end up like me sad their was no one for me

was used to getting asked by everyone for favors/ help with fixing sh*t/ building stuff/ moving. Then one day I actually needed a quick hand installing a new water closet in my house... Crickets. Absolutely everyone was too busy to come give a hand for 10-20min. Right then I dropped the behavior. Expected all the girls to bail obv., but the guys were nowhere to be seen either. F everyone at this point.

Story 2 is so true. Don't express your frustration online about the opposite sex or you'll be attacked by white nights who don't share your sentiments.

Guys just don’t be a pushover that’s all

I was that nice guy somewhat simp. But after being failing i realized that it was ultimately my attitude and outlook. My biggest was probably seeing my friend simping more hardcore than me like i was at a 4 he was at an 8.5/10 Thankfully we both learned. Though i never got into a relationship but i never obsessed about it either. I realized not caring is the winning move. It works for a lot of stuff. You attract the people who are like you. You also repel the polar opp. And yeah the story of "Sometimes the most obvious direct method is the winning move" Half the people in the world are below average on any subject. So picking up hints is not people's fortey. Just mature and be an overall good person and people will gravitate towards you.

my suggestion to you guys is to read practically any christian book on marriage or engagement. Here me out. Many of these books were written in the 70's when it was very common for 17 year olds in high school to be engaged. I wish I read those books when I was in high school instead of the books on dating since all the books on dating or courtship are at best trash. Got married last year and read through the books on marriage during our engagment and both of us were like "Why didnt people tell us this stuff in highschool?"

Good for him, and glad he realized so quickly he'll have a much better life being true to himself than trying to live to others' expectations, to present himself simply as someone desperately seeking to be 'what someone else wants'. If you're nice, go ahead and be nice because of you, not because you seek external validation, or think you'll get some 'reward' for being nice. Added bonus, any relationship you do get into is likely to be far more stable and rewarding if they knew exactly who you were from the start and still wanted to be with you.

Im not a nice guy(tm) as i act the same to males and females - i like helping people and it makes me feel good to have someone ask me to provide them with time and skill they dont have to acheive a goal or purpose. Dont do nice things for people because you want something for yourself back - do it because helping your friends and family makes your corner of the world marginally less insufferable. Also dont do things for others if they never do - ticks will drain you white if you have this mentality and you let them.

To be fair even if a man was a genuine nice or better yet good guy, women don't like or respect these guys. They love toxicity and drama and they always go after the bad boy who could care less about them. Bad boys will always have plenty of options when it comes to women, there's a reason why nice guys finish last.

Don't be nice period.when you are nice your kindness gets taken for a weakness.

@thebangles

Ай бұрын

Stupid people make that confusion. They are sometime punished for that confusion, severely at times.

Tired of being screwed over is what did it for me. Happened when I was 20. My life’s been so much better for it.

I was never a "nice guy" but I was a guy who always tried to be nice. When I stopped trying to be nice but instead tried to be a good person my life improved. It is funny I do sometimes get accused of being a 'simp' or 'white knight'. But I'm not. I do call out shit behaviour to women online sometimes. But I'm not trying to impress the woman or get with her (happily taken anyway). I just often bullying behaviour that I'm calling out and I will also defend guys. I always think its ironic that a lot of nerdy guys who got bullied will really dogpile on people online.

@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259

6 ай бұрын

Bro ignore those people, it's hard but I defend women and call out hypocrisy sometimes. They'll always call you a simp. It'll always hurt but then you'll forget about it.

Well there's two parts to this. A lot of people say they're nice because "it's just their personality." But I think if we're being honest with ourselves, a lot of the times that isn't the case. Sometimes people are "nice" because it's the easier route to take. It means less confrontation, less stress etc. It's kind of like being submissive or passive because you don't have confidence in your ability to handle yourself in tense situations, so you try to diffuse them by being nice. And I think that's what so unattractive to women. You should be willing and self assured enough to put yourself in the fire even if it hurts someone's feelings, to get what you want to progress in life. For a lot of people being nice is just a cop out because you're a people pleaser and you want to be comfortable all the time. But a lot of you aren't ready to hear that yet.

@RalphPenero

2 ай бұрын

This comment is ignorant. Avoiding confrontation isn't mean you have no confidence in yourself, its because its not worth it to fight for. If you love peace you will choose not to play.

@serendipitouscomet

2 ай бұрын

@@RalphPenero But some people choose peace even when it’s detrimental to them. That’s not attractive to women. They expect you to be able to protect them and advocate for them.

@RalphPenero

2 ай бұрын

​​@@serendipitouscometAnd they didn't care if women find it unattractive. They doing it for themselves, for their peace and self image not for women.

@RalphPenero

2 ай бұрын

​@@serendipitouscometI don't understand this why women's validation is always important in this society

@serendipitouscomet

2 ай бұрын

@@RalphPenero If you’re not trying to get women, then their validation should be irrelevant to you. It’s just reality. They don’t like spineless pushovers.

Life.... life made me stop being the nice guy. I'm no monster, i still have ethics, i just don't break my back to help others. Especially those who don't deserve it, or would never return that kindness.

Being frienzoned two times. Being rejected three times. Being abused two times. Being monetary drained on the last one. I said enough and now I live for myself, use the money for me and my hobbies

THE STUPIDITY OF THE MASSES HAS CHANGED ME

@maxaudet5177

5 ай бұрын

Ah yes, the realization that most ppl are ignorant and cant think for themselves

Does anyone know what the game is played in the background?

@zeropsaft

7 ай бұрын

Teartown if I remember correctly

@AkumaDiablo

7 ай бұрын

@@zeropsaft Thanks

I stopped being nice after realising that “just be yourself” never got me anywhere

@maxaudet5177

5 ай бұрын

That and realizing most ppl you call "friends" truly don't care about you at all Welp, let the world burn and I'll see yall in Hell I guess 😂

I'm someone who doesn't want or care for a relationship yet I always get asked if I want one from girls. And yet "nice guys" always want relationships yet can't have them. How do I become a nice guy so I stop getting asked about relationships because I honestly truly am happy being alone.

I can relate to Story 4 in some ways. I recall having a female classmate who would walk away if I was nearby. I wondered what her issue with me was. I never confronted it, though. I suspected it was either she got a weird vibe from me or maybe I reminded her of a creeper from her past. Whatever the case was, I did not let it affect me after a while. Personally, I thought the girl in that story was a bitch. I am of the belief that there has to be a reason behind a person's dislike towards someone. If I don't like someone, it's usually over a personal matter, like if someone mistreated me or did me wrong in some other way. There is always a reason behind it. Sure, I could be annoyed by someone, but it wouldn't cross to the point of distaste if the person is trying to be nice. There are people who I can find irritating but okay at times. But not liking someone for no reason, while it does happen, I don't agree with it.

@StrickenRecord

7 ай бұрын

It doesn't help that she seemed to go out of her way to let her dislike be known, sending dirty glances his way and such. Not talking to a coworker is also a terrible thing to do, it just makes the work shift harder. You don't have to be friends, fine, but working means having at its lowest a neutral relationship with your coworkers while on the job so you can do the work.

@emanuelespinoza9325

7 ай бұрын

@@StrickenRecord Well said, man.

@luisvelasquezjr

6 ай бұрын

I agree. Some people just dislike you because of something even that may seem like nothing to you. I had a coworker in my last job that heavily disliked me. Tbh, I was friendly with most of my coworkers and with her but she always talked behind my back. But I didn't care. She got me in trouble once for a mistake I made at the job. A mistake she made every other week and I would correct for her. My manager wrote me up for it. I didn't care since I was leaving the job in a month. She seemed like a bitch tbh, but I didn't care enough to address it. Sometimes people dislike you. If more people dislike you than like you, then self reflection is necessary. If it's just a random person here and there, then you guys aren't just meant to cluck. No point worrying about them unless they're your boss.

@emanuelespinoza9325

6 ай бұрын

@@luisvelasquezjr It sounded like your old co-worker was not that great of a person, especially if she talked about you when you weren't around. So I think that is more of a reflection of that person. It is just like what I said about the girl in the story. She seemed like a bitch who had no real reason not to like the guy and gave a lame excuse of "not everyone has to like you," which makes her sound like a bitch.

@emanuelespinoza9325

6 ай бұрын

@luisvelasquezjr It sounded like your old co-worker was not a good person to begin with. I usually try to be good to everyone, but if you really see me, I am more reserved than anything. I usually treat people like how I want to be treated, I am usually in my own world.

Huge shout out to these people that were able to grow. I cut ties with a 40 yo "Nice Guy", saw it after 3 months and gave it another 3 to see the mask drop.

@alexinfinite7142

5 ай бұрын

Jesus he's 40?! Some people grow old but they don't grow up eh? Maybe one day he will learn

@GbpsGbps-vn3jy

5 ай бұрын

@@alexinfinite7142 In fact most of those 40s nice guys are having fun with escorts or one-night stands with OF wannabes so I don't see the logic behind "don't grow up eh". Is it possible that most people around those guys have bigger mental issues (like feeling themselves they must quit the rat-race but still can't do it and probably never will)

@Damesanglante

Ай бұрын

99% chances you were the problem.

These stories are great avenues for introspection and learning. I just learned some things about myself and their paths out may just be the advice I need.

I consider my self a kind person. I have never once thought I "deserved' a relationship. I want one. I am lonely. I have had a 6+ year relationship before, so I am not clueless to how it all works. I am just a shut in. I don't put my self in situations where I would statistically meet some one. I understand and accept this. I will never not be my self and that is a kind person. I also understand that attraction is a fundamental part of a relationship. If your just plain not attracted to someone, few things can change that. That goes for both genders.

I stopped being a nice guy by completely shunning and ignoring women. They wanted feminism, they got feminism. And now all men are staying away and they are mad!😂😂

@bantubrat343

6 ай бұрын

Doubtful all men are staying away lol the bar is so low they’d fuck a hole in a wall if it was warm enough

5:40 Yeah not everyone has to like you but uhh... Randomly glaring at a co-worker you've never talked to is still shitty and there's a difference between not liking someone and being rude unprompted. Good on that guy for turning that into a positive experience though.

Nice is a matter of perspective on if the other person is doing something that has a positive impact on you. If someone wants to paint you in a villainous light there's nothing you can do about it. If you're a genuinely decent person they'll call it an act and then when life and people finally change you into being not so nice anymore its all "i was right all along". The saying; the kindest people can also be the cruelest is so true but what causes that change is always overlooked and ignored.

I got a girlfriend that didn't treat me like crap. Then realized that most of the problems in my previous relationships had also been my fault. I changed and for the better. Started truely trusting when i should be

When guys transition from The Narrator to Tyler Durden:

I stopped being a nice guy when I grew up. Now I am a good man and good men don't play games. Now I am gonna be a little judgemental here. I think some believe there are only two types of people "Nice guys" and "Evil seflish people."" But there is a middle ground. Being good. Oh, and for people who say, "You sound like a nice guy because such and such reason," I am gonna be real. That just makes you the villain. If you sound like a brat got hurt by someone and now takes it out on everyone else because you believe good people can not exist. That is being a villain. Good people will do nice things, but that doesn't mean they blindly shower you with compliments. They tell you the truth, and if you get mad at them, then they aren't the problem. You're the problem

@alwaysxnever

6 ай бұрын

Very well stated. I vibe with this.

@CoolioPs-hb1jy

Ай бұрын

Good people literally do not exist in any capacity..that kind person still has the capacity to be a cunt and at some point has been, just because you personally don't see that side of them, doesn't mean it isn't there. People=shit, slipknot said it best.

@Damesanglante

Ай бұрын

I will also be judgemental with you ; You're a villain projecting.

I was never really the nice guy, but I was naive in believing that nothing in my life could go as rmwrong as it did and the ones you love the most will be the ones who hurt you the most. Life lesson I will never forget again. My eyes are wide open now.

I eventually realized all the messed up things women do, after being destroyed too many times to count, and now know they aren't worth being put on pedestals

Used to be the "nice guy". What changed? Well , i turned 30 and went from " the lame guy" to " the stable EMPLOYED guy ". Always had friends ;mostly women. Basically I just became more cynical. That and there was a brief period of time that I actually got a spiral notebook and would hang out in Social settings literally to just jot down data points on the specific things that men would say and do with women and the reactions that they would get. After about 2 months of separating the data I literally just went out to a public setting, picked a woman that I liked and I was able to not only go out on a date with her but I was also actually able to smash. Then after that I honestly just lost all interest in it whatsoever. All that time and I literally just had to stop and question every time I spoke or acted with the internal monologue question of what is the exact opposite of what you would normally do in this situation?? But of course I was so sickened by how effective this was that I just gave up even trying. I still get laid every so often when the urge strikes but in general I'm not interested in any kind of relationship long-term

Why I quit my ex and me were on video chat and her friend came in room while she was away to change i turned off video shut my laptop I got a thank you by being cheated on next day why she was in college I guess the nice guy never wins. Now I am the evil uncaring man she proved to me its not worth the effort.

It’s was the loss of the most loyal to me and loving person Ive ever known. My grandfather. Loved me more than my own mother(his daughter), and sided with me even tho I was in the wrong… I don’t think I’ll ever get someone like that in my life and I’m just quick to snap off and break a Twix. I never was like that before I had more patience and could be walked on and over like carpet in a foster home lobby. I think about him every day and my heart is full of unjustified hate or anger having lost him. I loved him very much and made sure he knew it. Everyday hugs and kisses on the cheek. It’s amazing really, I found out I’d rather rage and fight on then sit down and cry. Love your folks as long as you and make sure they know without a doubt that you do too.❤ I think now having heard all the worst stories about him now and not knowing all the bad things he did then , maybe because of this idea he was open to having his grandson love him and having it reciprocated. Ignorance is bliss Kinda deal. I don’t know …. I know he loved me the most out of all the other kids.😂❤

Becoming a better version of yourself is the ultimate glow up ❤️‍🔥