Depression is like living in a body that fights to SURVIVE with a mind that wants to DIE

@tobe-you-tube6612

6 күн бұрын

Cancer is the opposite

@sarebear1592

6 күн бұрын

Wow very well put.

@SSsmith24

5 күн бұрын

@@tobe-you-tube6612 I have cancer n I want to leave im in California it’s legal here for assistance in dying 😢. Im so ready

@underwaves75

5 күн бұрын

@@SSsmith24look into a book (free pdf online) called “one minute cure”. It has to do with food grade hydrogen peroxide and it’s ability to flood the body with oxygen. Don’t give up.

@good4gaby

5 күн бұрын

@@SSsmith24❤❤❤❤

The dread of going to bed knowing you have to wake up to do it all over again is extremely draining and daunting.

@MagicalCreations-fw7pj

2 күн бұрын

Ah, there it is! The words that said My existence! Thank you😥

@NechiSketch

2 күн бұрын

@@MagicalCreations-fw7pj existing is hard, I get it.

@Mrs.Currie

2 күн бұрын

Yes. I feel like I'm running as hard as I can, and I'm not getting anywhere, and I'm not enjoying myself.

@NechiSketch

2 күн бұрын

@@Mrs.Currie you don’t need to go anywhere. You were only meant to be alive, what do you do doesn’t equate to your worth. Start small. Try to reconnect with 8 year old you and do small things you find fun and make you smile. Even if it’s just making a nice cup of coffee in the morning or a colorful bubble bath in the evening. You’re doing enough just being you, I promise.

@sayrenjones

11 сағат бұрын

I stay up all night thinking I can avoid the existential dread of waking up. Ha

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO YOU.

@bentonja668

12 сағат бұрын

💯

It’s not even worth it to work anymore. I’m homeless in an old Toyota Sienna minivan in Los Angeles, after losing my housing twice during the pandemic, and couldn’t afford the sky rocketing rents. I work and I’m not a drug addict.

@debrabutler5750

3 күн бұрын

@@CowardBobBent-Reborn so sorry, praying for you and sending positive vibes

@dachicagoan8185

2 күн бұрын

You need to move back in with your dad. Leave the storage lockers and the Focus behind.

@CowardBobBent-Reborn

2 күн бұрын

@@dachicagoan8185 You're just another one who will never understand.

@drgeek100

2 күн бұрын

whatever you do keep away from drugs, even alcohol.

@CowardBobBent-Reborn

2 күн бұрын

@@drgeek100 I will keep smoking weed.

People don't get how truly exhausting it is to function.

@jessicahitchens6926

10 күн бұрын

Yes but we are not living the way we were supposed to. That's why it can be so draining.

@Iwantalloftheinformation

6 күн бұрын

@@jessicahitchens6926 indeed, people didn't have official jobs in primevil days, we used our energy judiciously in our earlier times.

@JosannaMonik

6 күн бұрын

@@jessicahitchens6926 What way to you think we are supposed to?

@CraigGlynn-wn2cq

6 күн бұрын

It gets so severe for me that getting up for the toilet feels like a an overwhelming effort. Torture. Tiny things everyone does on autopilot become mental and physical mountains.

@jesussaves1827

6 күн бұрын

Turn to Jesus He loves you, He is the healer of the body And savior of the soul, There is True Hope in Jesus, God protects Psalms 91, He is the God of miracles Acts 2:21 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved Jesus alone saves Trust Him with your salvation John 3:16 1 Corinthians 15 1-4 Moreover Brethren, i declare unto you the gospel which i preached unto you, which also ye have received, and with wherein ye stand By which also ye are saved, if you keep in memory what i preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain, For i delivered unto you first of all that which i also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures And that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the scriptures, Take care

Remember, broken crayons still draw beautiful pictures ❤️🫂❤️ From this crayon to another❤

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

What an absolutely beautiful sentence. Thank you so much.

@TwoBassholesandaKaren7107

Ай бұрын

Love this!

@MeditationwithHolly

Ай бұрын

I needed this. Thanks Tamara.

@atwistedlime

Ай бұрын

This is my favorite saying. From another broken crayon.

@maryannprivette5267

Ай бұрын

Amen ❤

Most people don’t know how painful and exhausting life can be for some of us.

@richardhole5301

3 күн бұрын

Thank you.

@Jeslyn-Elayne

Күн бұрын

I disagree most people are miserable and don’t like they’re life’s that’s why they act like they don’t understand and make fun of you cause they are miserable just in different ways

“'Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” - Seneca I quote from decades of experience.

@Bojan_V

Күн бұрын

This is so true! I wish you all the best.

@elizabethfleck6536

Күн бұрын

Courage is that quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." ❤

Yes! Yes! Yes! If someone says that they have any type of disease, people will come to your house & bring you 3 meals a day, clean your house & walk your dog. But tell someone that you suffer with mental illness & they will leave you like you have the plague... family included.

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

Yes!!!!!!!!!!! OMG yes!!!! I know this is probably shitty of me to say, but I've often wished I had practically any other illness. ANY OTHER one. Because no matter how debilitating it is, if it's a physical thing instead of a mental thing, more people will have some compassion for you, some understanding of your limitations. But that's just not so for us. So we're dealing with our own self-hatred, our limited capabilities and the ramifications of that, and the hatred and scorn from so many people. I feel bad thinking this way because obviously I can't know what it's like to walk in other people's shoes. But it seems to me like practically any other illness would be easier. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But it's how I feel.

@merriebrown4089

Ай бұрын

YES! So true! It is SO difficult to tell another what you need, what you can & cannot do, what you're thinking, feeling ... and get responses such as: a blank stare; you're not trying; there's people worse off than you; just think positive; it'll all work out; don't feel that way; stop being a victim; keep your chin up; do you want to hear a joke?etc., etc.. (from friends, family, health professionals) 23-yrs ago, I was 51-50'd and due to that experience I now lie to ALL healthcare workers when I'm thinking of ending the struggle. Birdie, you seem like such a gentle, kind & compassionate soul & with your honesty, vulnerability & wicked sense of humor are having a profound effect & touching others. I feel understood, heard & not so abandoned by watching your videos. Maybe that IS your purpose, your work? Thank you for being you & letting us share your journey! ❤❤❤

@debbiekillewald8384

Ай бұрын

This is so true. I have no one that I can tell about how I feel without being misunderstood and judged. I feel my depression is situational, and I feel like I'm being judged by people who are showing their privilege. It makes me feel alone as then people do disappear.

@carolyns99

Ай бұрын

The world is not divided into people with mental illness and everyone else who is perfectly tickety-boo. So don't denigrate either yourself or others by assuming that you are just being cast aside because they don't think you are important enough to care. The expectation that others should be able to carry the burden of your long term problems as well as their own is unreasonable. The harsh reality is that they may simply not have the wherewithal to cope, any more than you do. That does not automatically mean that they don't care. Don't fall into the trap of being judgemental of others because you believe (possibly erroneously) that you are being judged by them.

@happynapper1234

Ай бұрын

Don't think too many dropped me just tried to convince me there was actually nothing wrong and pull yourself together others do it why can't you hmm really well what about the dead ones I said it didn't seem to work for them they fell apart not together they lost all hope still awaiting a reply but they sent lots of others my way trying to convince me everything would be fine if I just let it, well 40 odd years later still trying to pull my self together but as I gets bits together other bits fall out funny how life goes aye

I read this somewhere: Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life. It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normalcy, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart. Judge not lest ye be judged.

@T_Barb

Ай бұрын

Such a great description. You’ve been there too. I can see it in people’s faces now, if they have depression. I saw it for so long on my own face, it’s easy to spot. There’s a slackness to the face. Have you noticed that?

@whiskeystarr2715

Ай бұрын

Yup! Exactly!

@blessedarri9952

Ай бұрын

This is one of the best descriptions of depression I have ever seen!

@SuzyBenz

Ай бұрын

Well written.

@Mulejaw

Ай бұрын

Every word rings true.

I lived with MDD for 20+ years. Many of those years I had suicide ideation. The only thing that kept me from stepping in front of a bus was I was a single mother, I stayed alive for my daughter. In the depth of depression a good day is if you manage to brush your teeth. I have many people who have left my life because I was depressed and they wanted more from me than I could give. In 2020, I asked my psychiatrist that I was ready to try ECT. Nothing would relieve the pain. He suggested a fairly new procedure called rTMS. It’s not evasive and not medication. I went through 2 sets of treatment 2 times about a year apart. My depression is in remission and has been for a couple of years. I may have to have a “tune-up”, but this was a true miracle. I got my life back. Mental illness is brutal and most people don’t understand. People don’t want to be around mentally ill people and you become alone. Nobody likes people that are depressed. I’ve come to the belief that we do have a right to end our life. The pain is unbearable. But, I do recommend to look into rTMS treatment.

My job requires me to be with the public, and I constantly hear how happy I appear to be. I find it hilarious, of course. I’ll die and nobody will ever know the depths of my despair. When I hit my lowest points, I remind myself that, at the very least, I don’t live in a war torn country where I have to fear for my life every day. I’m pulling for all of us.

@InspireFreedomForever

4 күн бұрын

This comment is one I myself could've made. I spend my time off dreading my next shift. I don't want to leave the house. I have kids that I get up for because they're the only (things) that made me feel anything.

@InspireFreedomForever

4 күн бұрын

I think about the war-torn countries too to get through - much love to you❤

@casstay4499

2 күн бұрын

I think working with public causes depression. One cannot shield oneself from the truth that other ppl are Aholes.

@pamdewall

Күн бұрын

I work in publuc.i feel very Inadiqit.im very under educated and I left my family at 14.!

@JLydia55

20 сағат бұрын

Me too. I hear the same thing often. Especially because when I do go into public, I’m obsessive over putting myself together-I look perfectly fine; I’ve been told to my face “you sure look like you put yourself together” …hilarious, because, this is merely by default of being horrified of most or few ever knowing just how awful I am and feel in my alone time. I have quiet bpd. Despite what society has made it to be, it’s just not true, it effects everyone differently-so, no, just because someoen you knew with bpd is capable of atrocious things..doesn’t mean the next 2,3,4 people with bpd are capable or could even fathom being similar to that one person with bpd (especially those that have had no diagnosis or treatment whatsoever) I have said since I was 21, to family…to partners… I sleep so much because it’s the closest to being dead. I know it sounds so alarming, but-I’m clearly desensitized to it now, it’s not a sad thing for me. Especially for partners that were so very opposite of me, not at all the same childhood… that (even if it was my day off) would scoff at the fact that I could dare sleep so long. After three suicide attempts in my early 20s, at 32, I’ll never go there ever again. I am so thankful for whatever randomly clicked in my brain to make that decision with such certainty-maybe it’s for the hope of others I love not doing the same, so I don’t leave the amount of sadness I hold behind and on another; I could never imagine it. I envy others with so much endurance and energy. It isn’t personal to them. It just is what it is. Chronic depression is so fucking exhausting. Every heart that passes this comment and resonates, I’m only commenting so it’s one more person to prove to you that you are not alone, to add to the many others in addition to this video. I hope more and more begin to open up about this depth of depression, chronic depression. Major, depressive, disorder depression.

This is the best description I have come across. I’m 62 Birdy and I am in California.Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hate socialising. It's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It's caring about everything then caring about nothing. It's feeling everything at once then feeling paralysingly numb.

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

Yes! It is exactly what you said. The push and pull is agonizing. I'm so sorry you understand it so well. I'm sending you my love. I hope the sun is shining on you today.

@hollieollie

Ай бұрын

You've described it perfectly

@janiceloayza6723

Ай бұрын

Wow. Ty for putting it so eloquently. I struggle with the words.❤

@janiceloayza6723

Ай бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤❤

@LeadmeUniverse

Ай бұрын

YES !! Me too !! Thank you 😞

People would be surprised to learn I’ve been passively suicidal for decades and I’m not 40 yet. They have no clue

@RebeccaRuano

29 күн бұрын

❤

@Kementiri

28 күн бұрын

Same. You don't talk about it because no one wants to really hear about it.

@RebeccaRuano

28 күн бұрын

@@Kementiri some people want to hear about it. But they don’t seem to be in our lives when we need to talk about it.. 💕💝

@kristinahauer740

27 күн бұрын

@@Kementiri or to bother others

@NicOoG-im2yg

27 күн бұрын

I'm here if u want to talk, life has been hard. Super depressed

The 96 people who disliked this video do not have souls.

@Bassotronics

4 күн бұрын

96 Brainless Parasites.

@danityvanityinsanity

3 күн бұрын

Demons probably.

@fixfaxerify

3 күн бұрын

How can you see dislikes, they aren't public anymore?

@ceemoney5309

3 күн бұрын

@@fixfaxerifybecause their lying for attention

@SomeFrenchDude

2 күн бұрын

​@@fixfaxerifyChrome extension.

Jim Carey says his understanding of depression (he experienced ) was ..when the soul is tired of playing a certain role..

@amberlisa7365

3 күн бұрын

I know mine is.

@sandrag9451

Күн бұрын

@@annettegilkes5587 also "deep rest" which seems necessary.

Someone who does not suffer from depression will never understand how hard we have it and will judge us harshly. I truly hope you can find some relief soon.

@ShraddaNiche

4 күн бұрын

Tru Dat

@MsKristiansen

4 күн бұрын

There are those that will but not everyone will judge harshly.

@user-pz3bd3th1v

4 күн бұрын

Hola, hello beautiful world God Almighty bless all ❤️Soo sorry, this is your experience?!! I know it's hard I have both mental and physical problems and my life has been beyond difficult, but I've gotten therapy, And also really having a personal relationship with our father God! That has helped me enormously in a huge way and I just know the importance of giving to others ,! Just by asking people how are u doing? Asking those questions is Soo important u should try it God listen and care even when some of us believe 's he doesn't or doesn't exists God bless please try these things you'll see hang in their you'll be happy u did ❤️🦋🌈❤️

@nicole-mq2dk

4 күн бұрын

I still find it so hard to comprehend that there are people who don't ever suffer from depression.

@Chris-tg3qy

3 күн бұрын

@@nicole-mq2dk I don’t suffer from depression. I saw many loved ones suffer for several days or longer with depression and I can’t really relate to that. However, it can be difficult for me to be around someone with long term depression. It’s hard for me because I want to fix it for them and I can’t. I am not sure why I don’t suffer from chronic depression, but I can say that I rarely share sad emotions and most people describe me as very calm to the point of appearing cold or stand-offish. People also describe me as a really good problem solver. I do think if I were to start feeling depressed, I would try to find activities to do to help me get out of it. I probably wouldn’t allow myself to think about the depression for too long. No judgement, just sharing my experience and I do empathize with those who are chronically depressed.

"why are you always so depressed? There's is so much joy in the world" "why are you an asthmatic? There is enough air to breath..." Love from Germany

@mccal77

4 күн бұрын

Oh people with lung problems and Asthma are born with it. And they honestly cannot breath if they have Asthma attacks. A person does not ask to be born with Asthma. Or other lung issues. 🤔

@carriefawcett9990

3 күн бұрын

It's *breathe* not "breath"

@k74715

3 күн бұрын

@@carriefawcett9990 yes, thank you 🙏

@ElaAusDemTal

3 күн бұрын

​@@carriefawcett9990how many languages do you speak, besides English?

@ElaAusDemTal

3 күн бұрын

​@@k74715wieso entschuldigst Du Dich dafür?

Depression is the realization of reality.

@darrinnaquin5678

6 күн бұрын

REALIZATION OF OUR REALITY man but others see it differently. I've been under the influence of some kind of drug every waking moment for the last 50 years in order to get a glimpse of what they see.

@albabreen

5 күн бұрын

So true...

@philjones6522

4 күн бұрын

Yeah. Kind of agree. I found that my depression was worsened by my denial of this reality. I'd pretend that things were fine and be optimistic etc when I knew damn well it wasn't. This actually caused a terrible depressive breakdown. Only accepting what this reality is has got me to some kind of manageable existence.

@1st1anarkissed

3 күн бұрын

"It is no measure of sanity to be well adjusted to an insane world." Krishnamurti

@marlene56423

3 күн бұрын

Really? Maybe your reality.

The only time that you get relief is when you know you're getting ready to go to sleep. So that way you don't have to think about it anymore, or the world or anything else. It's like waking up and having someone tap on the side of your head until it's time to go to sleep. Day in and day out.

@ValerieEckert

3 күн бұрын

Going to bed is my favorite part of the day🥲

@damianisafatfuck275

3 күн бұрын

Same

@vampythevampy1711

2 күн бұрын

Me too , it is an escape of a scary day , like no more worrying because I’m asleep, but sometimes I have nightmares, and every thing is back again. 😔

@Cathy7167

13 сағат бұрын

Unfortunately, I dread even sleeping because then I have bad dreams and I did go back to work fledged and it was too draining so now I’m working part time. It’s very hard. I stay alive for a reason. I don’t have anybody that would care if I died, I mean they might care for a minute to get there put on drugs, bankrupt and jobless and possibly homeless emergency call 911 what the fuck are they gonna do? I’d rather stay in bed covers over my head. I no longer have guns. I have been. It has been affirmed by my family that they 100% do not understand anything,and they don’t really give a shit if I die. You have to hang in there. Right now I think it’s time for me to get off my ass clean the house and organize six years of paperwork that I haven’t organized and then I think that will be because I don’t have any grandparents or parents. I have two Out of seven or

@racerx2580

13 сағат бұрын

@@Cathy7167 That's very true Cathy. The key is to stay occupied. Hard to do but it is what's needed.

You're not a burden to society, YOU are a blessing. You are not more broken, you are more BRAVE, bc everyone else keeps it inside while you have the guts to speak out and scream you are doing your best and you will be a beacon of light for others who can't scream for help.

@Bethannx

Ай бұрын

Perfect 👌

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

What an amazing thing to say. Thank you so very much. ❤️

@cindywall9399

Ай бұрын

❤she is amazing. Birdie you do matter. You are a gift. ​@Bethannx

@user-gw1kl1ll9x

Ай бұрын

Birdie you have so much to contribute . You are among those who genuinely care about you. You matter, your life matters, you are not alone, you are so loved.

@donnaknepper3821

Ай бұрын

So true!

I haven't wanted to be in this world since I was about 15. I found my dad's .32 and had it in my closet and looked at it every day. When my parents found out the reaction was "What were you going to do? Shoot Us? What would the neighbors think?" I realized then that nobody gives a F and left home at 16. They're gone now and my last real friend died last Sept of a massive heart attack. Between the Severe Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder bordering on Agoraphobia there is no social life and frankly, I don't trust people much anymore. My house is a wreck. A lot of days I don't even feel like taking a shower. The thing that keeps me going is this big floof currently using my leg as a pillow. I'm 63 now and just plain tired as hell. At least now I know there's Someone that understands. Thank you for that. If you ever come to Oregon I have a place for you to park. Stay safe. Stay here. Please.

@dagnolia6004

Ай бұрын

i agree with you. we don't need alot. just knowing SOMEONE is out there that understands is a pebble removed from the sack of boulders we carry around in our heads and hearts.

@sarahmottram3369

Ай бұрын

❤

@shawnettezaccaria2462

Ай бұрын

@@dagnolia6004 Agreed!!!

@shawnettezaccaria2462

Ай бұрын

I can relate with this. 🙏💖

@BrokenBrain100

Ай бұрын

My house is a wreck and my fur babies keep me going too. 🌞🐈🐾🐕✨

You can't worry about family and what they think, sometimes it pays to walk away from family.

Neurodivergent minds understand..we aren't typical like the crowd! We FEEL things. We are IN TOUCH with humanity. Most people do not understand humanity. My brother took his life 2 years ago and I scream inside saying....NO!! COME BACK!! Society failed him and he just couldn't find a soul with compassion. I didn't live near him and I couldn't see it! Your strength is truly amazing whether you believe it or not. I'm hugging you through the screen. ❤

depression comes like a theif in the night. salt becomes tasteless, colours become dull, sound becomes muted and smell becomes transparent as the mind floats on a cloud of each day repeat.

@mommyof3_908

7 күн бұрын

❤❤❤

@chaoswitch1974

4 күн бұрын

Or all those things become the distractions, the reasons you live because you're spending every moment to find that reason to choose life.

@xladder3972

3 күн бұрын

@@chaoswitch1974 binge eating, watching stimulating shows, listening to too loud music, seeking a direct hit of dopamine because what else is there to do

@chaoswitch1974

3 күн бұрын

@@xladder3972 yes.

It's being a prisoner in your own body, but you can't escape from yourself.

@blueStarKitt7924

28 күн бұрын

Or being prisonner of our own brain.😞

@lynnettebroussard2839

28 күн бұрын

That’s exactly how I feel and I’ve said it so many times

@slbellue6874

27 күн бұрын

People would tell me to get out and go do things. I’d ask, “Why would I want to do that?! I am with myself 24 hours a day, why would I want to spend more time with myself by myself?!” People never understood.

@NicOoG-im2yg

27 күн бұрын

Life is hard😢😢😭😭

@caspernovelli3568

26 күн бұрын

You are a beautiful and intelligent soul. We love you and we appreciate your honesty

I was depressed and full of anxiety for most of the first 40 years of my life. I became an addict. Long Story short I almost lost my life and had an encounter with God (who I did not believe in). Once I had seen and I knew that there IS A PURPOSE to all of this...uncertainty. suffering, lessons, pain, sadness, loss...etc I was able to appreciate the love, the beauty, joy, big or small connection with others, the joy. I realize that everyone has a different journey but from where I have come from and where I stand calling on God EVERY DAY asking for discernment, peace in my heart, motivation, all my needs, has changed EVERYTHING. Never give up, you matter more than you can comprehend. Your life is precious. And God is ever present whether you believe or not. I know.

@InspireFreedomForever

4 күн бұрын

You're blessed to have had that experience. I've cried out for that experience so many times. I'm currently trying Astral projection desperately, hoping something will give me just a little spark.

@kevinmorris1679

3 күн бұрын

@@InspireFreedomForever Astral Projection won't get you to God and will lead you to demonic encounter. If astral projection got you to God it would have been recommended in Gods word in the Bible. You need to get on your knees and cry out to God to reveal himself to you and then wait patiently for that still small voice to speak to your thoughts. Depression happens when we follow a path that is not aligned with Gods will for us and reject the TRUTH out of fear of change. I know how hard it is to face up to because Ive been there many times, wishing I no longer existed. Its a place where there is no light but you have to hold on and call out to Jesus who is the light of the world to guide you out of the darkness.

@Pricelesspreneur

4 сағат бұрын

I know you’re right. I’ve been a Christian, or have tried to be, my whole life but I still can’t wake up in the morning without wanting to die, and that fact in itself makes me feel even more guilty and hopeless. The more I fail the more I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to overcome this. What is wrong with me that even God can’t get through to me?

I have dealt with a deep depression since I was a small child. After learning of a family members suicide when I was a toddler, it seemed like I normalized it in my head as an option. I’m 26 now. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and bipolar. It feels like it only gets harder to persevere. Thank you so much for opening up. You remind me that I’m not alone. I only wish I had a friend I could speak to about these things in my everyday life.

Krishnamurti: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

@user-my8bb6nc1x

17 күн бұрын

love that quote

@capitalisa

Күн бұрын

Truth.

My wife passed away 7 years ago. She was my shield against depression while she was alive. I have no friends and have severe social anxiety. I have to hide it all because i have a teenaged daughter. Im usually busy trying to distract myself from myself but otherwise struggle to focus on work. So i lost my job of 16 years last week. I must keep going and pretending im ok. This is my life.

@justchristine7374

9 күн бұрын

i'm sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. I'm a single mom of a teenager as well and need to find work. It all too much.

@StellaClements-ml3wb

9 күн бұрын

So sorry about losing your Wife & depression, it is a very hard illness to battle. Wishing you all the best Sir. 🙏

@harmony331000

7 күн бұрын

I’m sorry you’re struggling, I understand what you’re saying and you’re not alone. Every time a door closes, another one opens, you just haven’t found it quite yet, but you will!

@bpsutherland

7 күн бұрын

Sorry, man, that sounds awful. Try to stay strong and vigilant. We love you for being strong for our daughters.

@sherrodlock321

6 күн бұрын

lost my guy almost 4 years ago now. No children but, it never occurred to me that I would be w/o a partner. Many years have passed & my choices are so much slimmer. I have a feeling that there are many more of us than there used to be.

I wish we could all be together and feel the joy of understanding each other. Most therapists don't even get us, let alone family and friends. It's comforting as hell to know other's haven't put their puzzle together either.

It’s not like I want to die but many times throughout the day I catch my thoughts “I really can’t do this anymore” “I don’t want to be here” “this, again?!?” Maybe change from the monotony is an answer but I’m so freaking exhausted in every single moment

This video should be shown to mental health professionals because the lack of understanding is disheartening. Mental health is not a choice, it is an illness just like any other illness but the difference is, it is invisible. The way you explained how mental health impacts our daily lives is profound. Thank you for sharing.

@paulsteen7641

Ай бұрын

Sadly I’ve found many mental health professionals to be quite disingenuous and often very troubled people themselves. I’m very skeptical of the utility or helpfulness of psychology or ‘wellness’ industry in general, just seems like an industry for ‘professionals’ to make money selling fluff

@versylia

Ай бұрын

Yes, and even more widely.

@jazzbea6243

27 күн бұрын

Try to get help for someone in the middle of a breakdown. It's disturbing how thoughtless, robotic and dismissive those who we are told to call for help are. The professional's, police, paramedics, ER Docs, therapists, social workers, etc. will say they can't do anything unless the person having a breakdown asks for help themselves. These suicide hotlines are there to make people answering the phones feel like they are doing something to help. The only people they are helping to feel better are themselves. It pisses me off to see how little help there is out there for mental illness. On my recent property tax bill (I live in an affluent area and pay very high taxes) I see large sums of money allocated for parks and recreation. Zero dollars toward mental health. Maybe those recreation centers should be turned into safe houses for those with suicidal ideations. Wouldn't it be nice to have a 2 week stay somewhere a person in crisis can get real, compassionate help, and ongoing support for little to no money? Kids in my town don't need those resources. They have wealthy parents who spend thousands on extra curricular activities for their kids annually. Our community tax dollars are wasted on resources most families with kids never use. It's insulting to be turned away from the very thing a person needs because they don't have insurance or money to receive adequate professional help . America is barbaric in it's treatment toward people with mental illness.

@JaneDoe-uf5ig

10 күн бұрын

Its not an illness, people need to stop saying that. Its a SYMTOM of everything from abuse (usually started in childhood or many other forms of abuse), neglect, fucked up systems, unnatural living conditions, toxic social media, poverty, loneliness, isolation, not being supported enough, not having what a human actually needs to thrive and feel loved and safe etc etc. Our minds are fed so much shit all the time, through technology and everything and ofc its going to fuck with our minds. Being "mentally ill" is our response to a sick and fucked up world! There is nothing wrong with us, what's wrong is our societies have made us think we are broken and need to be "fixed" because we cannot adjust to or even want to keep going in this hell. "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

@jessicahitchens6926

10 күн бұрын

Agreed!!! It's also hormonal imbalances especially in women. Due to the unnatural life we now live.

I'm 65 and I've waited 55 years to hear these words. You get me, you really do. Thank you so much.

@ManuelAkaho777

20 күн бұрын

Damn, i can't live that long!😮‍💨

@northernstarseedtarot

16 күн бұрын

✨️🙏🏻✨️

@rtro80sguysacramento33

9 күн бұрын

​@ManuelAkaho777 I thought that too. I'm 56..still waiting

Everyone has not completed the puzzle. They self medicated with sex, drugs, religion or use work, money and status symbols to distract themselves from the existential nothingness. Society doesn't love you or hate you for continuing in your struggle. Live for yourself, what you want. You don't have to prove to anyone that you deserve to exist by what you accomplish. That is a curse. Also, comparison is the enemy of joy. Live for yourself.

I’ve been living with chronic depression for literally decades and the only thing that’s stopped me from leaving this world behind is because I know how much it would hurt those close to me. Meanwhile I feel like a burden and an outcast not only to society but to those people close. But after several psychologists and Doctors telling me how to cope with what I perceive to be a sick society, I can’t help but to conclude that my environment had something to do with my mental state and the words of the late great MLK Jr rings truer than ever: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”.

50 years ago I lost my mother to suicide. She left 3 devastated teenage daughters (who have all dealt w/their own depression demons throughout their lives). For the sake of your daughter, I'm glad you chose to stay another day.

@MyLifeInDebt

Ай бұрын

I’m sorry for the loss and trauma associated with losing your mom that way ❤ my husband’s father just committed suicide and it’s rough

@bethgarrison1751

Ай бұрын

​@@MyLifeInDebtSorry for your loss as well.

@Eric-ej3oy

Ай бұрын

Its going to many more. But who cares.

@6Haunted-Days

Ай бұрын

Yea this is why I have to fight every second to stay….been trying to kill myself now for 40 some yrs, I’m 52….but u was told my son has a chance to kill themselves if their mother does…..I choose to stay and I DO NOT WANT TOO! He’s 18 now….but at times I resent having to stay for him for my sisters….and I truly don’t resent them for having to force myself to stay for 5 more seconds or 5 more minutes, some days worse than others. I love them with all my broken heart and soul……

@perfectlysimple1744

Ай бұрын

My Mom lost all 3 of her son's at different stages of her life and one was to suicide. I'm tired..I don't want to be here, but I have kids and grands. I do not EVER want any of them to have to live with that pain. Yes I suffer from depression and anxiety. Was medicated for probably 18-20 yrs. I stopped every bit of medication last year. I lost 15 lbs because of the meds side effects. Am I better? No. I am however more aware of what triggers the depression and anxiety. The depression is hereditary so unfortunately my kids have some form of the disease. It's a constant chore to stay. Even though I don't want to. But here I am, taking it one breath, one step, one minute at a time. I have to get up everyday and go to work. Im fighting daily for my life. But I keep on going and fighting the demons in my mind. I don't believe in the meds anymore..i believe in getting sun on my face, fresh air and music. Music is what saves me. I will have earbuds in at home or it playing loud in my car. It drowns out the thoughts in my mind. To all of you that fight this....plz stay..plz continue to fight. You are beautiful, you are GOOD, you are needed and most of all you are worthy. ❤

Birdie, I am glad you decided to stay today. Thank you.

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

Thank you for saying that. Thank you for feeling it. ❤️

@kimberlybrewster9331

Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your truth.❤ Praying you continue choosing to stay!❤

@BobbyTaylor-io1od

Ай бұрын

You rule! You matter! Love ya❤

@MindfulmavenMoments19

Ай бұрын

My sweetest dog is named Birdie. I always loved that name and already named my kids so when I got my sweet Birdie that was her furever name. I love it, Birdie.

You completely nailed it. I couldn’t have said it better. I am now 62, and it’s really a miracle that I am still here. “Getting by” just one more day really describes how I lived for the last 45 years. I have tried every antidepressant on the market. All they did was take the sharp edges off the depression for a few months before they stopped doing anything. I totally understand. The only thing that has helped me is 1 year ago I tried ketamine infusions. My last infusion was 4 months ago, and I am still doing well. I have heard that scientists are now working on new medications that use some of ketamine’s properties to make a new daily pill. So that’s something. You seem like a really good person. I am so sorry that your life has also had this journey. But please, never give up ! ❤

after someone has left the earth people say sometimes „Yesterday he looked normal, he smiled and talked about the next vacation. How is this possible?“ - Yes, but as you said, we think the same thing every moment and pretend to be interested in puzzles.

I struggle with depression and anxiety. It takes all my energy to get out of bed. I have cut myself off from most people.

@Dollypops43

21 күн бұрын

Me too 😢

@Anonymous-cl2es

17 күн бұрын

Same! I get more anti social each year.

@iwantyourcookiesnow

14 күн бұрын

I know what it’s like

@janalyric

9 күн бұрын

I honestly feel much better when I’m in a down time not talking to anyone. I feel there is less pressure to be social or act normal.

@dreamstate207

7 күн бұрын

Have you asked your Angel/Guide to remove your depression? I did out of desperation and it worked instantly. God bless.

Birdie, we came for the van life, we stayed for you. Quit van life, we are all gonna stay to follow YOU and your life ❤️ I have never seen anyone this authentic and sharing on YT. Just look at your comment section, everyone loves you. Van life or not, we will continue to be with you!

@websurfer5772

Ай бұрын

Yeah! 💙

@LeeAnnCarlsted-uy1fr

25 күн бұрын

This is the truth, Birdie!! We love you no matter where you are! I personally hope you are safe and maybe just taking a short break from Vanlife and KZread. If this is the case, good for you! You do what you need to do for yourself! LeeAnn

@user-sz8qo1sp1i

4 күн бұрын

Yes!!!!!!

@nickjenkins1663

Күн бұрын

Hang in there everyone. we can do this. love to everyone. ❤

I’m doing this in faith. I too was diagnosed with depression in my early 20’s,. At the ripe age of 23 I was so through with my life, I easily let go of myself and let the Spirit of Christ Jesus in. Yes, I do have bad days, but the joy of the Lord still remains., and out shines all my bad days. So when I go through things, now, I know I have help, and joy. Just say “God help me!” And mean it.

Wow. You put into words what so many don't have the mental, maybe even physical energy to put out. The way you speak can reach everyone beyond the mental health sufferers. You give a voice to all of us who are like that. You're such a beautiful human being. Thank you, and I'm so sorry you understand mental illness from firsthand experience... Sincerely, a neurodivergent 20 year old with constant depressive phases since the age of 10.

no one in my life will ever understand what's happening inside of me. before i was diagnosed with cPTSD last year, the only way I knew how to explain it was "i''m being tortured by my own brain".

@mayhorse66

Ай бұрын

I hope you are able to access some therapy

@youareloved8274

Ай бұрын

I tried counseling, didn't help, no one understands unless they live it every day, but I understand completely, a nightmare that has no escape and never ends, but have to be strong so they don't think I'm lazy and wasted space, I hope you can find therapy that can help

@mayhorse66

Ай бұрын

@@youareloved8274 I have, a few times. The last was most successful as my counsellor was the most empathetic person I've ever met. But here in the UK, we tend to get 6-12 sessions. I had to stop because my work took priority. Which was a huge shame as it really helped. I admitted I'll probably always have some degree of depression and have to accept that. I'm 58 and have lived with it 40 years. Like the lovely lady in the video, I have reasons to keep going every day - 3 children and a cat! I just wanted to reach out to you. I feel we can become invisible and I don't want anyone to feel that.

@gldnsunrising7761

2 күн бұрын

@violetsimmonsbrain As someone with CPTSD and Major Depression my entire life starting with foster care and extreme daily child abuse from my earliest memories till i left the day i turned 18 and so so so sooo much more has happened in the 30 yrs since then, ive described it to ppl saying "it feels like my brain is eating itself"

My Mother suffered from depression throughout my childhood and often said she wished she could just die. She also told me and my three older siblings she'd wished we'd never been born. Every single day. She worked a full time job raising us alone, never asking anyone for help. She smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day till she died at 86.... Since I was 5 years of age I have never wanted to be here. You forgot to mention the abuse people with depression and other illnesses go through from not only society but from DRS. who are supposed to help people with disabilities.......You never mentioned how hard it is to find housing and how hard it is to eat everyday. or every 3rd day. Life is 100 times harder for people with depression and other disabilities....... Very good video.

@romac9516

5 күн бұрын

It's tragic to think of a little child hearing their mom say she wants to die and wished you weren't born. No child should hear that.

@WandaRaible-yh8qq

4 күн бұрын

Yea, people who don’t get it or act like they do, usually think you can get better. Which is possible. But that takes work and can be exhausting too.

I suffer from intractable depression. I've had it most of my life. I get it, believe me. I call showing my "happy face" as "faking it until I make it". An example just to try to help - Last year I suffered a 6 month depression. I was in bed the whole time. Crying, praying, begging to feel better. When I wasn't laying down I was sitting up and rocking back and forth, apparently trying to soothe myself. I go through this every few months, even with meds. I got a serious illness that could have killed me and was almost elated that "finally, it's over". Then got depressed because I survived. I'm ok right now. I like the puzzle analogy - that is how I feel. It IS hard work and sometimes I get tired of trying. My brain tells me just do it.

@amberlisa7365

2 күн бұрын

I contracted really aggressive breast cancer, almost died, but I fought through it, and have often wondered if that was a mistake…if I should have just died, instead.

Sleeping 20 hours a day ain't fun. I'm not lazy, it's not even the meds but a Severe case of Chronic Depression. It's Fxxxxxn hard. Lost my two best mates to it 18 months apart. Nearly went for a run at it myself but I promised my kids I wouldn't and I'm a Man of my word. Just makes it harder yet again. Meditation, some legitimate medication and I Hope nobody has to go through it. Thanks for sharing and being so Beave Beautiful 🙏🏻💙🇦🇺

I recently lost a friend to suicide. This video is absolutely amazing. You should make this a TED talk. I have never heard such a clear explanation of depression and suicidal thoughts. This is SO valuable!

@websurfer5772

Ай бұрын

Yeah, this video would be an awesome TED talk!

@kew9164

Ай бұрын

Agreed. She feared that she wouldn’t explain it as well as possible. It is explained better than anyone (after listening to countless explanations) ever. This is bore out of desperation and pain. Thank you for your fearless attempt of explaining the unexplainable. Your attempt is a 10. I am going to forward this to my people who I still consider worthy of hearing this. We need to accept our plot in life. It might be as a sufferer of this affliction or someone who loves a person who is afflicted.

@charlottemuench1456

4 күн бұрын

Yes. That's what I couldn't express 😅. It was a clear description. You have a way with words.

Lifetime sufferer here. It is so exhausting pretending that everything is OK all the time. I admire your bravery. I love you ❤🤗

@Eric-ej3oy

Ай бұрын

Ppl actually bring children into the world to suffer. Kool. I admire thier bravery.

The feeling of not being able to just move is, kind of a paralysis, the self-loathing and fear , the people saying you're just lazy and wanting a pity party, just makes it worse and you get such anxiety, social phobia. Why do people think we would lie about it when it makes our lives such a mess? It's a constant loop.

I'm sorry, honey. Extreme depression has been the most unbelievably painful part of my life. Trying to act normal, trying to ignore the screaming in my head. I wish you and I and everyone here could get into one group hug. You take care. Holding you in my heart. ❤

Please Lord Jesus Christ wrap your arms around Birdie and give her peace. She is your child and You love her. Please remove the taunting dark thoughts that fill her mind. You say that we have the mind of Christ and we trust in You Lord. She’s more of a blessing to so many of us watching than she even knows. It’s hard for us to understand why we suffer, but Lord you have a perfect plan for our life. I am so grateful for Birdie and her strength to share her story and give encouragement to others who are in suffering. Please bless her Lord ! Amen

@susieq790

Ай бұрын

Amen,amen, and AMEN 🙏!!!!!!

@Cityofemeralds

Ай бұрын

Amen ✝️🙏❤️

@tammycalhoun9584

Ай бұрын

Praise God that Birdie is transparent! Bringing this into the light is so important for her and so many others. Yes, we each need Jesus, He is my help with this “thorn in the flesh” that I also have dealt with. I don’t think we were actually meant to “fit in” especially not as defined by others. But, Jesus, He lets us come and rest in Him as we are and then He walks with us, comforts us and carries us. How thankful I am for that and I hope Birdie experiences that too.

@Eric-ej3oy

Ай бұрын

Im confused.

@heavywhisper

Ай бұрын

Amen! Where two or more agree...{ Matthew 18 (19-20)}

At one point when my son was feeling suicidal, he said he wanted to make my life easier by not being here any more. I responded that my life would be a hundred times harder without him.

@FransvandenBergeMuziekschuur

Ай бұрын

Amen to that.

@booksie1

Ай бұрын

That’s it

@ethnocentricfun991

Ай бұрын

Amen ❤

@lmiller1413

Ай бұрын

But in the middle of depression, that comment does not carry the weight you want it to. People often think that if they die, loved will get over it. They may think," I make everyone's life harder. I'm a disappointment to those around me, a burden, they fight about me, get disgusted by me, get mad at me. Etc." I hope you will take the opportunity to work with a therapist to learn how to best support your son. Blessings to you.

@shellyann8818

Ай бұрын

​@@lmiller1413You are 💯 right.

I've struggled with depression for as long as remember. I like how you pointed out that unhappy people often develop unhealthy habits as a way to cope. Procrastination that feels like paralysis is one of those habits. Depression is also a common in people with high intelligence. I'm praying for you and sending you big love from here in Alberta. Jesus saved me from utter destruction and I'm not trying to pressure anyone, just trying to share the life raft that has kept me afloat.

Lovely lady. I also HAD bad depression for several years. What I really needed to hear is that you CAN recover and that there is life on the other side. Medication helped, but it was the self acceptance that really made a difference. I just live life now. No goals, no targets. Just relaxing as much as possible. 🤗

@kb1759

4 сағат бұрын

how did you self accept?

I suffer from chronic depression but from my air conditioned apartment with my dogs. I think you are so brave. Thank you for sharing your journey. ❤

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for being with me. I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling with something so difficult. I hope you are having an easier day today. ❤️

@brianleonard6885

Ай бұрын

you're special share yourself with someone who deserves you.

@forest1butterfly

Ай бұрын

You are smart, sweet voice and pretty too. I feel sad of your struggles. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for your heart and share very much. Embrace yourself with you and love.🎉

@Eric-ej3oy

Ай бұрын

Ppl actually bring children into the world to (suffer) from chronic depression. Kool. You didnt have children, did you? To possibly repeat it. Leave the baby making up to fools bc they love sorrow. I am starting to believe ppl like feeling sad and depress in order to feel good. Peace out everyone and try to have a good day or night wherever you are in the Babylonian or bewildering world.

@rhianevans7189

28 күн бұрын

Hi Depression is an illness people talk about more and more today as it was shunned years ago and people didn’t want to k ow about it. As a retired nurse I too suffer from depression and there’s nothing worse imo. I try to do things that I did before I retired but haven’t got the energy to do it. I have fibromyalgia as well which does not help any. Thank you so much for sharing your story and can relate so well to your vlog. It’s not laziness. If people had depression they would know about it. It’s not a nice place to live with depression. My days vary where I cannot be bothered to get out of bed. People don’t realise how this impacts on mental health Much love and respect from across the pond in ukx

I hurt for all the people that feel this way! Including myself...I'm so tired! Mental illness is no joke.

@tamzcountrylife

Ай бұрын

Agreed.....❣

Honestly the greatest asset or liability in life is your own mindset. You already have the mental tools necessary but if you don't know how to use it it won't work.

@heatherpurdin7206

5 күн бұрын

Double-edged sword!

when you liked it to " doing a puzzle" and went on to say you could NEVER get the puzzle, nobody would tell you HOW, just DO IT. i cried when i heard this, cause for the first time for me, someone finally got it right. one puzzle piece in boys....

And if you are her daughter reading this, your mom is brave. And you are too. 💗. She loves you so much.

In case no one told you today: You’re beautiful. You’re loved. You’re needed. You’re alive for a reason. You’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. I’m glad you’re alive.💖 Today, be gentle and patient with yourself. When you get up in the morning, be open to what the day has to teach you.🌼 When something difficult happens, remember that its primary purpose is to help you learn to love yourself and the other people who share your life.😊 Thank you, Birdie, for sharing your authentic message and heart with us.🙏

@charlottemuench1456

4 күн бұрын

You're alive to share this with me. I needed this to show to those who love me and just don't understand.

“This really can be applied to any illness that makes it difficult to be reliable and productive and that causes a wish not to exist”. V good quote. Yes that’s me, 20 + years of ME/CFS. No depression usually but makes life very hard in some similar ways.

This video is an absolute blessing, thank you for taking the time to film it, I can only imagine how scary it would have been to put this out there, but I know you’ll have helped so many ppl. I think I’ve been in denial about my own depression, possibly due to the way I’ve been brought up - altho I must say my mine isn’t consistent and there have been many times in my life where it hasn’t been prominent. But the battle to stay - that feeling I know too well. To all those who have watched this and have gone/are going through it, you are doing enough, and you are enough

You are building a family HERE, on your channel. Zero F's given to anyone who doesn't give you grace for being imperfect and having a brain which functions differently. Your truth is my truth, your words are mine BUT we are stronger than those passing words and feelings. I'm actually jealous of you for having a community here that has your back. I don't have that. Treasure it!

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

I didn't realize until just now you have a channel! I've just subbed and look forward to being a part of your community. Thank you so much for helping make this one beautiful. I love you.

@DMAC1301

Ай бұрын

@@WaywardAbodeoh! A new channel? Where?

@dawndavis6915

Ай бұрын

Ur so right she's definitely loved and truly cared for by her family of friends 💖💝

@user-vv5fx6ew3o

Ай бұрын

Very well said! HUGS MY FRIEND! You are saying what so many needs to hear. I’m proud of you.

@1200janie

Ай бұрын

You are amazing!! Everything you said is exactly how I feel and how I've felt for years! My daughter doesn't understand me but my beautiful grand daughter has the same problem and does understand. She is 32 years old and she is my reason to stay everyday! Just hearing you speak your truth will help so many people!! Thank you!! I hope you never give up because you are enough!!!!❤

It's like dealing with a monster that only you can see it, and no one else.

I feel your pain I’ve been suicidal since my early 20s I’m 62 and just two days ago I pleaded with my 37 year old Daughter to let me go, she cant, and I stay, so I feel you, you beautiful lady, I feel you there is nothing I can say, you are so eloquent, I want to not be here every day, and that’s all you can do, is one day after the other, so it never stops , so stay strong beautiful lady, stay strong, thank you for your words, I will think of you often, I would say I’d pray, but I’ve given up on that one, so stay for me and il try stay for you. I love you, Sue from wales uk xxxx

You're definitely not alone; I totally understand. I've suffered from depression for YEARS. Every night, I go to bed, wishing I'd never wake up. I'm just so TIRED. 😞 Thank you for sharing. Rosemarie 🙏🏻❤️

If folks thought today was the last day, that the future wasn't real and nothing they did was going to matter later, they wouldn't go to work either. It's a blessing to believe things matter.

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

What an excellent way to put this. Thank you.

The struggle is there every day. I’ve found that art helps. But of course getting the will to pick up that brush is a real challenge. It’s like everything you do requires momentous effort

@harmony331000

7 күн бұрын

Omg this is me, I have the most stacked awesome art studio that I have always wanted , I’m a great artist & it’s my passion outside of nursing (I’m off right now) but I can no longer feel that passion & inspiration & literally want to create but haven’t the energy to pick up the brush ….everything is hard & surviving is a burden and I don’t know why I can’t get up out of bed even, it’s possibly all the trauma I’ve been thru for most of my life but it’s bizarre to have desire to participate and function but not be able to move….and it’s always oh I’ll feel better tomorrow and be more productive and all that jazz but tomorrow never comes

@B_Bodziak

3 күн бұрын

Every single thing. I tried to explain it to someone by saying that if I found out I won the lottery but had to shower, get dressed and drive 30 minutes to pick up my winnings within 2 hours, I'd spend the next 2 hours trying to get out of bed.

Dear Lord, please be with this sweet woman and help her to understand her immense worth in YOU and that she gets the help she needs. We all support you. I have no idea why you popped up in my feed, but you did for a reason. I pray for the very best for you and God's peace that is perfect and inexplicable.

I get it. I have lived with this illness depression and anxiety for over 25 years. I have often said I feel like I am trying to pull a car up a mountain alone. We are so misunderstood. I am in a support group online . I keep going back to GOD for the strength I need every day. HE is the only reason I am here. I will be praying for us all. Thank you for doing this for all of us who feel the same things you are and our family just think we are faking it. Please keep going for that sweet daughter . Please know you are not alone sweet lady. 😊

People do not have the same empathy and sympathy for mental illness. There is much more we need to do as a community to address this gap in the healthcare system. Many hugs to you.

Those who were meant to get it...Got It. I said a prayer for you. ❤

Thank you for talking so openly about this depth of dark depression. I have this depression since childhood but got much worse when my first born died by suicide. I want to go almost under the help of medical care. It a bizarre thought for many to intake. The pain is torturing me. My brother just passed suddenly at 52 and that has just destroyed me.

Baby you better LIVE. I attempted suicide and woke up with a spinal injury from the fall and life had something to offer you, you must overcome!

“It’s no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”- Jiddu Krishnamurti

I’m rooting for you. Being a prisoner of your own mind is hell.

I am studying psychology and in my last class. The professor told us that extreme depression is always short, lived like a few weeks at most. Chronic depression is always the mild type and not rooted in deep emotion but more about the overwhelm of a situation. I questioned him on this.I was like, are you really sure about that. I have been profoundly depressed for most of my life. I find it very difficult to believe that they are teaching this.

@orangestoneface

4 күн бұрын

googling it ...extreme depression is always short, lived in search ... Persistent depressive disorder is not as severe as major depression.. ..another..These symptoms can last weeksTrusted Source or even months. Some people might have a single episode of major depression, while others experience it throughout their life...but why try to study with depression cos it shrinks destroys memory part of brain so much ..was it by third or

I suffer with serious mental health issues! Only God, my mom, my 34 year old daughter and the grand baby inside of here, soon to be here. This is what keeps me going ❤

That puzzle metaphor is excellent. We are not all given the tools that help make life doable.

I do things because I have to. Like work and such. I feel absolutely zero joy about anything. Everyone and everything is exhausting, and I can't even get a break with sleep because I can't sleep. I just keep going until, eventually, in the future, i can sleep forever finally. I wish I could just feel some sort of positive emotion, anything. I feel like a bitter shell about to break. Like standing in a line that lasts forever, and you don't even know what you're waiting in line for

@lynnc5649

8 күн бұрын

You really got me with the last line. I feel your pain.

@MsAbrakadabra2011

5 күн бұрын

​@@lynnc5649 Yeah, me too...

@amygalvin1799

5 күн бұрын

Lack of sleep can add to it. Talk to a Dr about a sleep aid that will help.

@victoriafortruth522

4 күн бұрын

@amygalvin1799 My doctor knows about my sleep issues, but medicine rarely works. Trazadone doesn't work anymore, and I have bad reactions to sleep meds. Trazadone is the only one that my doctor will give me. Melatonin doesn't help either. I've tried everything, and I'm still unable to fall asleep, or if I do fall asleep, I can't stay asleep. It's torture. I've been battling sleep for so long.

@user-xs4pi4hq9o

3 күн бұрын

I'm on antidepressants and antipsychotics. I have recently taken up meditation which calms my mind and helps me to sleep at night 🌙

I would travel thousands of miles to hug this person and tell her she is so wise and incredibly brave. Knowing she is able to put these feelings into words for me, is a huge comfort. My situation is more changeable but some of her experience has affected me. I’m so grateful to hear this from her.

I haven’t even been able to cry for years. I know if I could, it would help. I have shut down almost all communication too-unless it’s “positive”-because I know others just don’t want to know. I have a home still-I’ve been clinging on so my family has a “home” with a mom still in it as a refuge. Some days, I frankly keep going for all the animals I’ve “rescued” (they rescue me more often than not). This video was a gift to me. Thank you. My next dream is to share what I have with others like you-people who struggle but who aren’t looking to use or manipulate-unfortunately, my generous nature attracts a lot of those too. Anyhow, reach out if you want to connect. I might be able to help in some ways, and it would help me to feel useful as well.

I am a step away from van life. If my disabled (hit by a car) husband didn’t DoorDash for my agoraphobic butt, we would be starving. Some nights we don’t eat, but we have heat or electric. There are things to be thankful for yes, but like you said, if we don’t acknowledge each others suffering, than what’s the point? I love you and my heart breaks for you. I know these feelings so well. I wake up with sweaty palms and nauseous anxiety with a downward spiraling small business. My husband and I always tell each other we equal one person. If you ever need help, or a safe place to park, you are always welcome in my life. I know what you feel, without belittling it, I know those feelings. I have a homeless man a hug and some water and change after digging through my garbage the other day. I told him I’m sorry life is like this. I’m truly sorry life is like this. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

@love3V07

Ай бұрын

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

What a beautiful person you are. The world is so blessed to have you in it. And, it sounds like, your husband. Thank you for being here. And thank you for helping me feel seen and less alone. I love you.

@margaretgillette1600

Ай бұрын

Birdy I truly wish you the best. It breaks my heart about your sadness. I have a sister that has problems. Please keep trying we love you ❤

@elizabethsmithakaelizabeth3332

Ай бұрын

Your generous response to Birdie made sob, in a good way. I am a doordasher, like your hubs, and I literally dash to keep lights on, so I know how yall feel. Just know your kindness toward Birdie made me feel so hopeful about this world. ❤❤❤

@judithheard6079

Ай бұрын

If you got up every day and jumped in the shower, you would not be depressed. I know that you’re living in your van but there’s gotta be a way to wash up.

To quote the brilliant Leonard Cohen"it's in the cracks, that's where the light gets in"🙏🌈

I'm a therapist and this video was gold, very useful! Thanks ❤

How Brave you are. I think you’ve described it beautifully. When I was your age I had a wonderful, happy, family and friend filled life. I worked hard, raised 3 kids and my life was something that everyone loved to see. But, about 10 times a day I would grab a counter, take a deep breathe, push off and say to myself…”Keep going.” No one knew. I was such a happy person. As I got older I got so tired of trying to stay. I am still trying. It’s hard. But like you say….its the people in our life that keeps us here. I made a deal with God. I told Him that I would stay and play it out only if he swears that I don’t have to come back again. lol. It helps. Bless You. 🙏

I’m 64 and this video touched me more than any others I have ever watched. You are a special lady and I’m sure you have helped many people from this real and raw testimony. Much love and respect❤.

@LeNigérianNomade

4 күн бұрын

Amen to that.

I have heard that some cultures believe that we are here to exist, as the trees are, as the fields are. Not to strive. You have nothing to be ashamed of and I know you know that and carry it anyway. I hope you release that burden. And then go on to letting go of the idea that there's anything you need to feel or think in order to be loved. Because, omg, you are so loveable. The only limit to your compassion seems to be yourself. Who cares what people without empathy think about how you live your life. It's yours. You're the expert. Not them.

@OffTheClockNow

Ай бұрын

So very true! Society strives for all the wrong reasons. We are human beings, not human doings. Cliché, yes, but oh so true. Birdie, you being you is inspiring and oh so lovable!! Thank you for sharing your heart every day!!

@katherineg9396

14 күн бұрын

Buddha said: if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.

I’m watching as a person who suffers from depression. Rely struggles with it. Maybe no one knew how to help me, but I tried desperately for people to understand last year. I truly contemplated ending my life. Today I don’t want to die,but I’m struggling to live. Thank you for this.

Living is so hard. But you were able to share this message, to encourage empathy and compassion, because you're still here. Because you made the impossible decision to keep on living every single day. You are worth so much more than you realize. To suffer silently for a lifetime and endure vitriol and abuse at the hands of those who don't care to understand that we are not all the same and still choose to take that pain and sculpt it into a message of love and understanding is a feat of incredible strength and bravery. Your words made myself and many others feel less alone, and a little bit less misunderstood. That matters. You matter.

My 18 yr old daughter is currently experiencing this. She decided to finally decided to open up to me. It absolutely crushed me because I myself suffered depression and anxiety. I was at my worst between the ages 15 to 24. By the time I reached 20 I couldn't even get out of bed most days. I unsuccessfully unalived 3 times during those yrs and was hospitalised several time. It took me years to find the right path for myself. IT'S SOOO HARD....😢 All I did was let my daughter talk, cry, scream, and let it all out. I didn't say a word. I just held her. I thanked her for letting me in her world and said NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU'RE LOVED, AND NO MATTER HOW BAD IT GETS "STAY WITH ME." She has taken the 1st step together with me to see a Dr. I told her that she is in the beginning of a long hard road, and even though she may feel the pain, she will never be alone because I understand ❤ To anyone going through this, I'm proud of you and we need you all to STAY. ❤ I know now how my poor parents felt during my decent. But they were my reason for fighting even though I hated them sometimes for it. I can only hope my understanding is enough for my baby girl also. ❤

@Eric-ej3oy

Ай бұрын

You are proud that ppl are going through this. Okay. They are going through hell.

@natahliak7691

Ай бұрын

@Eric-ej3oy Hi Eric, sorry I upset you. I didn't mean it like that. I meant I'm proud of peoples strength and resilience to fight this each and every day. I don't agree that it's hell, though. For me, hell would've been a walk in the park compared to what I battle each day.

@katieandnick4113

Ай бұрын

You sound like a wonderfully supportive mother, and your daughter is very fortunate to have you. With that said, have you considered the reality of the world your daughter is living in as the cause of her suffering, rather than a supposed “chemical imbalance”? That it’s the world that is broken and not her? It can be incredibly difficult as someone who sees themselves as weak, broken, incapable, etc., to acknowledge how very broken the world is. To acknowledge that the people who want to prescribe them drugs and diagnose them are far more broken than they, themselves, are. Because when you acknowledge the world is broken, then there is nobody to save you. When the people who are supposedly there to help you are even more broken, objectively, than you are, then who will take your problems away? But once we are able to acknowledge and accept how broken the world is, so much suffering goes away, and we no longer feel like we need to be saved. Because in reality, all suffering is is resistance to what is. I would imagine that having children played a big role in you getting better? Well, sadly, it’s becoming less and less likely that younger people are going to be able to have children(for financial reasons and for social reasons), and even then, it’s never optimal to heal ourselves through having kids. It doesn’t work anyway. If our pain diminishes, it only comes back with a vengeance once our children begin to experience pain. Your daughter may not be ready to see the world more as it is, but if you are ready, your healing will pass through you and onto her. If a mother can accept a broken world, she can accept her children no matter what, and that is what all human beings need more than anything; to be accepted, unconditionally, by a woman.

@natahliak7691

29 күн бұрын

@katieandnick4113 I couldn't agree more. My daughter, unfortunately, has seen the world for what it can be in her young life. From the moment of her birth, she has witnessed her a parent fighting cancer not once but twice and suffered/witnessed the terrible loss of all her grandparents, of whom she was inseparable. She helped us all care for their every need through their unbearable suffering as they all passed well before their time. Cancer sucks! That's all I can say. She also learned what true unconditional love is. The love and wisdom shared between them something you can not put a price on. On the flip side, though, she lives in fear to love another because she knows loss all too well. She needs time and patience to heal. But young ones have no patience, lol. I know I didn't. Not everyone requires medication, I agree. Just love, acceptance, and patience. Is enough for some. Only time will tell.

@visionvixxen

22 күн бұрын

Praying with and for you and all of us.

The problem is not you. The problem lies in those who can’t show compassion and understanding. We are all flawed but those who hurt others….those who choose not to help others….are the kink in life’s chain. Thank you for making these videos. They are very, very helpful.

@gaylafrasier7276

Ай бұрын

AMEN

@morganniciomhair8284

Ай бұрын

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

@websurfer5772

Ай бұрын

They are the Weakest Links! 😉

You've probably heard it a thousand times: you are one of us, sharing this planet at the same time. Our responsibility as a society is to care for the persons who need help, and who contribute just as you did with this video to make the world a better place. Or who don't because they can’t. We exist together, we deserve compassion and support. I'm glad I can work knowing that part of the taxes I pay go to medical and social programs, child care, benefits etc, even though it's definitely not enough. I can only hope we will further develop public services. Thank you so much for this

Hi Birdie, I am a TBI survivor (traumatic brain injury) so I really appreciate you making this video. I enjoy your upbeat videos but you being so open and honest is also refreshing. ❤❤️‍🩹❤️

@WaywardAbode

Ай бұрын

Thank you so much, Suzie. I'm so sorry to hear of your injury. I can't even imagine how hard that is. I hope life is treating you more kindly these days. ❤️

@cyndib3587

Ай бұрын

I, too, have TBI. Very complicated for most to understand.

I'm happy that you are alive. You are important and the world needs you.

@RebeccaRuano

29 күн бұрын

💯

Depression is such a dark place--3 times in my life I was there. And now, at 78, I can only be so unbelievably grateful that all 3 times I crawled out of it with the help of Antidepressants, which each time I was so frightened would not work. But--finally, I found the right combination of these chemical aids to help make my life worth living--and even now I can remember the sheer horror of each episode. And it is true--no one understands. Only my dear identical twin sister, who was by my side each time, helped me to believe I would get better. I so understand and can look back and still feel the absolute hell that was depression. I hope someday you will be helped in some way. Thank you so much for telling your story. Lynn in NYC❤

youve articulated it quite amazingly. you are becoming strong through your weakness. try to get out of the head and go into body. start to walk more. dont take it in, put everything you feel out. you are still here. you are hero. have a connection with an animal. adopt dog. animal with instinct will pull you more towards life. one step at the time. just get out of your heed. your mind is playing tricks on you.

I started your video a few minutes ago. And yes, I bypassed the warning. I thought I could make it. But I could not. Since finding your videos and understanding the dibilitating depression you went through, I began to understand my son’s mental health. He suffered from deep social anxiety amongst other things. He had a loving wife, he had health care, but he insisted on fixing himself. It really didn’t work very well. When I spoke to him last, in mid February, he said he needed his privacy. He wasn’t depressed. He insisted on that. 10 days later he was gone. I’m not claiming he took his own life. It’s still hard to fathom that. He had been sick. Lung stuff. But things in his life were improving. His wife had a new job, money problems were going away…and we don’t have the autopsy yet. But if he did, I will never forgive myself for not doing something. I was in town. I was minutes away. But if he did NOT take his own life, he is finally at peace. His wife was with him that final moment. He knew he was loved Please to you family of watchers. Don’t ignore mental Illness. Don’t let it slide past you. Do what you can. Birdie, thanks for bringing it to the forefinger. Love❤

@ObiMomKenobi13

Ай бұрын

You did do something. You talked to him in February. You did that. Forgive yourself.

@AdrienneMcGuire

Ай бұрын

What you have to keep telling yourself is that sometimes you truly can’t stop someone from leaving. If they really want to, they will. Family members can only do and do and do so much. ♥️

@groovygail

Ай бұрын

Birdie pleeeeeeease seek help! ask.....You have people who watch you, who would help ❤ ask for help.....

@77eternalsunshine

Ай бұрын

Your son was an adult. He told you he was fine and asked for privacy. If it ends up he did take his own life, you should try to not feel responsible, because you aren't. You were making decisions based on what he told you.

@websurfer5772

Ай бұрын

No matter the outcome, you did what you could for your son and that is enough. You clearly love him and it shows.