I used to say that I was stoned before standing absolutely still like a statue.

@funnynamejokelmao2929

4 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of a goat in goat sim

@qirat.652

4 жыл бұрын

Lmaooo

@tropicalii

4 жыл бұрын

Why is this so amazing

@elfthe_yes

4 жыл бұрын

Lol

@JESUSCHRIST-ee5tb

4 жыл бұрын

are you stoned now?

Lol my daughter asks her grandma "grandma do we have a pervert marker"? She meant permanent

@starlight4649

4 жыл бұрын

Plot twist: grandma IS the pervert marker!

@ethand4784

4 жыл бұрын

well do you?

@AxeKick80

4 жыл бұрын

Shoot, thanks for reminding me. Gotta get out to Walmart and pick up some new pervert markers, I’m out.

@cadewarrencns

4 жыл бұрын

If we did have pervert markers, helicopter parenting would finally go away, and the human herd would get a significant and much needed thinning. Better bookmark that local sex offender registry website, folks!

@bri_33

4 жыл бұрын

My grandma used to say, "I left the VD in the back room" when she meant "DVD."

"you are hereby sentenced to public execution for the crime of being ugly." Imagine if that was an actual law I would have been publicly executed too

@sophiatortilla8041

3 жыл бұрын

Aha

@gunkguy5934

3 жыл бұрын

Fun fact: there was a fine in America for being ugly, like 50 dollars in today’s money a day Idk how much though

@jonathanh.p1997

3 жыл бұрын

@@gunkguy5934 Is that still a thing?

@gunkguy5934

3 жыл бұрын

No its not, it was ended around 1850

@jonathanh.p1997

3 жыл бұрын

@@gunkguy5934 I see, in which state or states?

I called licorice “hard liquor” for several years as a child.

@outbreaksday276

4 жыл бұрын

" Hey Mom can you get me some hard liquor

@etherealsoliloquy

4 жыл бұрын

Outbreak's Day worse. I asked my grandma.

@outbreaksday276

4 жыл бұрын

OOF RIP

@KELLY-yv7vp

4 жыл бұрын

for me that was black licorice

@Urmom-hh8qj

4 жыл бұрын

Lol

The girl feeding the bird with the bent beak at 2:49 is so wholesome and so pure

@tvaholicsquidney

4 жыл бұрын

it melted my heart because i was also bullied partly because I was quite smart, partly because I was an easy target because of how quiet I was growing up

@furiousmagician5912

4 жыл бұрын

ok but that profile pic MMM YUMMY

@klaviergavin5401

4 жыл бұрын

@@furiousmagician5912 Hi, mint bunny~

@klaviergavin5401

4 жыл бұрын

@m e i i Oh no, I'm not quite a Hetalian anymore, but my profile picture does scare vegans away, so I'm keeping it haha

@lukineo2329

4 жыл бұрын

And hanging dolls because they are ugly too

When I was 8 I would lift up my shirt and ask people "am I a sexy boy"

@hannahquintua

4 жыл бұрын

wait what

@hannahquintua

4 жыл бұрын

@ANDON HOWARD Aight thanks

@BigSad49702

4 жыл бұрын

@@hannahquintua am I a sexy boi

@hannahquintua

4 жыл бұрын

@@BigSad49702 i guess

@BigSad49702

4 жыл бұрын

@@hannahquintua I'm actually Chris Hanson in a kid suit. You're going to jail

My grandmother had this thing where, if one of us grandkids hugged her for too long, she'd blow on us to get us to leave her alone. It was a playful thing, she wasn't mad with us or anything like that. Anyway, when my cousin was about four or five or something she knew that Granny blowing on her meant she wanted her to go away. We were at a family Christmas and her brother was annoying her, so she shouted at him DANIEL! I BLEW YOU! NOW YOU HAVE TO GO AWAY!

@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7

4 жыл бұрын

If your cousin was older that would be an entirely different story.

@alis7135

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😆

@alis7135

4 жыл бұрын

@@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7 I-

@Wishfull171

4 жыл бұрын

Lol noooo

@youreallysuck2405

4 жыл бұрын

K

"Girls have poor fort skills" I got personally offended by that lmao. My fort building skills are superior. Fort girls rise up

@JustinTK416

4 жыл бұрын

Alyssa Rose Pfft, “Fort Girls” sounds like a cash grab tower defense waifu game that would drain every penny out of unsuspecting lonely dudes everywhere... Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gotta go make a scam. I mean... “app”.

@alyssarose916

4 жыл бұрын

@@JustinTK416 You speaking from experience here?

@potatotactics1398

4 жыл бұрын

@@JustinTK416 do it

@ellelikeswarriorcatstoomuc5580

4 жыл бұрын

I had an older brother who loved making forts, and I got my skills from him.

@grsimpson3957

4 жыл бұрын

@@ellelikeswarriorcatstoomuc5580 Learned wrestling from a friend up until I went to a school that had it.

I thought everyone in a burka were ninjas

@adroitdroid5989

4 жыл бұрын

My neighbours across the street are ninjas

@randomperson8994

4 жыл бұрын

😂ima ninja especially cause i wear a niqab (the thing that covers your face except ur eyes)

@Asterite

4 жыл бұрын

@@randomperson8994 there is a cartoon called burqa avenger xD give them a look

@nissanpatrol8950

4 жыл бұрын

Lmao same. Also when i was maybe 6 i thought all white people were “australian” because i live there, all asians were “chinese” and all people with even a slightly dark skin tone were “black”. I hated all the people who were not white

@Fritter_Films

4 жыл бұрын

I saw nuns and Christians somewhere in public once when I was like 7, and I said “pilgrims still exist?”

At some point in primary school, a boy asked me how babies were made. Me being the national geographic documentary loving genius I was, held out my index finger on one hand, said "Male" then made a circle with 2 fingers on the other and said "female" and then moved them together multiple times and said "reproduction".

@Razatanx7

4 жыл бұрын

Alixiria You must’ve blown his figurative mind👏👏👏👍

@animeultima3005

4 жыл бұрын

That's awesome

@alixiria

4 жыл бұрын

@@Razatanx7 he totally knew the answer beforehand , no clue exactly what led him to ask tho.

@destructoplayz6056

4 жыл бұрын

Alixiria this is amazing

@ms.bobatotes3945

4 жыл бұрын

PAHAHAHAA

When I was learning English as a kid I kept referring Native Americans as Negative Americans

@remarinracoon5309

4 жыл бұрын

I mean... we're still bitter about that Christopher Columbus fellow and the settlers bullshit too.

@claire.4964

4 жыл бұрын

*W H E E Z E*

@theriffrepeaterjr.1772

4 жыл бұрын

69 likes I'm not changing it

@remarinracoon5309

4 жыл бұрын

@@theriffrepeaterjr.1772 yup

I always tried to grab and hardly twist a finger of a boy that my older sister was dating to assert dominance. I still don’t know why I needed to do that…

@takamikeigo7985

4 жыл бұрын

Piss on him to assert more dominance

@diZZybomb6789

4 жыл бұрын

Zenarx ha no

@blakethesnake6686

4 жыл бұрын

@@diZZybomb6789 You are a coward and a fool. How dare you become such a submissive SIMP like that?? disgusting. pee on him right now or i'll do it myself

@liastorm795

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@takamikeigo7985

4 жыл бұрын

@@diZZybomb6789 ha yes

1:40 Basically every single Animal Crossing player with their ugly villagers

@waitlexist3436

4 жыл бұрын

literally me

@bowtieseal

4 жыл бұрын

That’s so accurate lmaooo

@FunnyGirl-jw8bh

4 жыл бұрын

Noobynoob funny you mention that, I bought animal crossing today and I’m gonna get it in 2 weeks

@mora___.

4 жыл бұрын

*BAROLD* *MOOSE* *HAZEL* *BELLA* *I HATE ALL OF THEM*

@benthemother3fan884

4 жыл бұрын

@@mora___. You think Hazel is ugly? Do you need some creamer for that black heart of yours?

Did ANYONE ever play with toys the way they're depicted? Cuz my Barbies often got possessed by rubber aliens and would go to war with the small toy cars.

@lategamer6684

4 жыл бұрын

My mammoth figure would fight along toy soldiers against my friends militia.

@akiothearsonist480

4 жыл бұрын

damn those cars do be taking the Russian land tho

@akiothearsonist480

4 жыл бұрын

@@alannahmahon2435 top ten most fearsome warlords in all of history

@mauricethegecko9700

4 жыл бұрын

@@akiothearsonist480 NUMBER 1: ALANNAH MAHON SHE WOULD SIMPLY SAY "I killed this dude" AND WIN THE WAR TRULY THE MOST FEARSOME

@akiothearsonist480

4 жыл бұрын

@@mauricethegecko9700 Indeed! All living human being is terrified of her because of how fearsome she is when it comes to war! People have sent out the world's most dangerous, most top ranked hitmen and assassins to go for her only to have their heads mailed back to them

When I was younger I'd make the uglier dolls be slaves to the prettier ones

@gachapango2234

3 жыл бұрын

I- LOL

@arilovesbingus8626

3 жыл бұрын

i used to make the prettier dolls slaves to the uglier dolls but then the fairy doll turned the prettier dolls into magical princesses who proceeded to beat the shit out of the uglier dolls and publicly execute and humiliate them i was 5

@sophiajohnson-pujara2810

2 жыл бұрын

@@arilovesbingus8626 ok so i wasn't the only one

@thegrimreaper2608

2 жыл бұрын

3 of you?

@The_Original_forresttrump

Жыл бұрын

Now you’re a manager at a Dollar General?

I really hate it when these channels don't show the links to the pics

@japxicano9877

4 жыл бұрын

Search up "kiss comix 229" in google.

@soupaside528

4 жыл бұрын

@@japxicano9877 no

@mysticalballs6211

4 жыл бұрын

@@japxicano9877 curiosity got the best of me

@japxicano9877

4 жыл бұрын

@@mysticalballs6211 Ah. We all go down the dark path someday. Tell me young one, did you find what you have desired?

@mysticalballs6211

4 жыл бұрын

@@japxicano9877 perhaps

I thought the c word everyone was referring to was crap. I kept wondering why people hated it so much because these same people would use the word shit like a comma

@letskilliceagebaby291

4 жыл бұрын

omg wtf

@corporalross5540

4 жыл бұрын

I remember kids saying dont say the c.word and spelled out crap lol

@corporalross5540

4 жыл бұрын

I also said i watched world war z in kindergarten, and a duty came over and said, i know what the z means, and put me.in trouble

@allxx2251

4 жыл бұрын

@Boozleme you’re probably too young to know what it is

@allxx2251

4 жыл бұрын

@Boozleme it’s fine tho you can wait a few more years

My cousin thought twerking was somehow part of praying and she had twerked in a church and to this day I tease her about that

@prismmioouu

3 жыл бұрын

wtf

@obnoxiouscucco5904

3 жыл бұрын

Bruh

@prismmioouu

3 жыл бұрын

@@obnoxiouscucco5904 ikr

@roxanam3856

3 жыл бұрын

@@prismmioouu do i need to calm down

@prismmioouu

3 жыл бұрын

@@roxanam3856 if your not calm then yeah, cause when your calm the calming down effect of my calm username in calming you down wont calm you down, but if your calm no need to calm down

I flipped my kindergarten teacher’s skirt up while the class walked behind her in line to the play ground. I thought she was so pretty and her skirt was so flowy in the wind. She had underwear on so I didn’t understand why it was bad. Everyone rated me out when she turned around. Now as an adult... sorry Mrs. Valentine 😂😂😂

@therosey144

4 жыл бұрын

Don't worry, if she has children of her own, this has happened to her again lol. It's worse when you're holding your child,and they just pull your shirt down for no reason :P

@Wishfull171

4 жыл бұрын

TheRosey1 that makes me feel better I just thought her skirt was so pretty that poor teacher. I think I was like 4 though. I’ve seen 2 year olds pull their moms shirts up or down not thinking so yeah she probably was lol. That helps I felt guilty.

@u6uggg6hguiuggy

2 жыл бұрын

Pro gamer move.

@Klabbity_Kloots

2 жыл бұрын

@@u6uggg6hguiuggy "I'm gonna do what's called a pro lesbian move."

@quackyman796

Жыл бұрын

My baby cousin likes to randomly pull on my aunts hair and shirt.

This one girl in my 5th grade class asked the teacher what a fetish was and she said it’s an obsession, so the girl said she had a soccer fetish

@KELLY-yv7vp

4 жыл бұрын

same

@deiford1187

3 жыл бұрын

"Hey Jim it's time to make cakes!" "K Charlotte" Groantrurgoabamdhkdgd Charlotte grabs a soccer ball and does something The end

In elementary school, I went on a tour of a dam. I was so excited that I just had to share the experience with all of my classmates. So I proceeded to tell them about the dam, the dam tour, the dam train that took us on the dam tour, the dam tour guide, etc. I got about halfway through my experience before the teacher overheard my stories with an absolutely mortified look on her face. The school ended up calling my parents and the administration essentially just wanted my parents to talk to me about it. When we got home, they informed me I was not in trouble and that they found the entire experience to be hilarious.

@bennettlane4274

4 жыл бұрын

@@anonymousguy7105 we are true legends

@skye387

4 жыл бұрын

It actually took me a minute to realize what the problem was.

@studyfirstkids6744

4 жыл бұрын

*Damn*

@JustTryingToGetAYTPlayButton

4 жыл бұрын

Hana Tjia I still don’t get it

@kerfunkyonyoutube845

4 жыл бұрын

@@JustTryingToGetAYTPlayButton dam/damn

When I was a toddler, I lived in a very small town with mainly white people. The first time I saw a black man, I SCREAMED within a foot of his face and scared him half to death. He was just trying to measure my feet for shoes and my mom, realizing what was going on, apologized over and over and all but ran out of the store with me.

@DonCrafts1

4 жыл бұрын

StrayReverie Big oof... must have been very embarrassing lol

@lixonzito2481

4 жыл бұрын

omg I can feel the embarrassment from here

@mercentperrault

4 жыл бұрын

I think the world felt that.

@martinam286

4 жыл бұрын

Born racist huh?

@lixonzito2481

4 жыл бұрын

Mercent Perrault the damned aliens felt that

So you know in 4th grade when you learn “RACE” to write short response to a question? Well we learned that. After we got done with that method, we were going over another. I don’t remember what it stood for, but we were learning it for a few days and calling it the “H-O-R” method. At one point my friends and I were just sitting in the back when it hit me that we should sound it out instead of spelling it out. It all hit me at once and I gasped, pointed to where it was written on the board, and yelled “HOR!” This couldn’t have went worse for me. Not only did I just yell wh*re in the middle of my class, but the teacher, who was near where I was pointing, thought I was pointing at her. She took me into the hall and told me off for calling her a whore. She then told me to go to the office. The principal asked what I had done and I told him I didn’t know. After he contacted my teacher and she explained the situation he understood and asked me if the events were true. I asked him what a wh*re was and he realized the whole thing was a misunderstanding. Anyway, that’s how I learned that word.

@Bas_tet

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@severablegibbon

4 жыл бұрын

@bet I have more chromosomes Than you bet your still beautiful!

@yourtrashtalkingbro9118

3 жыл бұрын

lol

...grinding on the monkey bars I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING IT JUST FELT NICE OKAY

@turtle407

4 жыл бұрын

Were gonna have to escort you out of the bar. your behavior here is unacceptable, you're scaring the monkeys

@sanpurutekisuto6709

4 жыл бұрын

@@turtle407 you somehow turned something terrible even worse. Good job.

@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7

4 жыл бұрын

🤦‍♀️

@cherrybansx7398

4 жыл бұрын

front or back

@Sakuramidnight61

4 жыл бұрын

I was *ahem* grinding on a chair...IT FELT GOOD AIGHT?!

When my niece was almost 2, she took her socks off and patted my feet so I removed mine. She found it hilarious the way my feet patted on the laminated wood floor. When I sat back down, she took her trousers off, waddled over to me and patted my legs exclaiming "auntie trousers off". Took a few minutes before I realised what she said and I laughed, my sister laughed, and our parents laughed and I shook my head and said "no I'm not gonna take my trousers off". She did not take the news very well.

@Brain_pocketer

4 жыл бұрын

This was hilarious. Thank you for making my day better. 😂

@charlotteharris6951

4 жыл бұрын

@@Brain_pocketer oh you're welcome 😄

i used to roleplay warrior cats in 4th grade recess 😳😳

@spvcethvg8462

4 жыл бұрын

Peoe do this in my old elementary school. I remember in 6th grade someone got detention for it.

@obliviousthoughts8431

4 жыл бұрын

FIRESTAR! QUICK! THE FOREST IS UNDER ATTACK BY BADGERS!

@Deltastaff

4 жыл бұрын

Nice did to but in a kinda big forest close to my House

@bloodlust8480

4 жыл бұрын

Bro tf me too

@laggysenpai7712

4 жыл бұрын

@@obliviousthoughts8431 oh my god

i called my peach markers/pencil crayons ''skin colour'' until like, grade 4 and im pretty sure im not the only one who did this

@furiousmagician5912

4 жыл бұрын

I called yellow pee pee

@uh6348

4 жыл бұрын

@@furiousmagician5912 flying mint bunny, nice

@furiousmagician5912

4 жыл бұрын

hec ye

@pineappletv625

4 жыл бұрын

edgy weeb that’s quite normal

@uh6348

4 жыл бұрын

@@pineappletv625 thank god

My friend didn’t know what a condom was so sometimes he would say “WHAT THE CONDOM!!!” For whatever reason but nobody ever told him lol he did find out what it was in the end

I can’t believe I twerked as a kid!

@ribombee8979

4 жыл бұрын

🤦‍♀️

@XenoAbyss

4 жыл бұрын

🤦‍♂️

@amogus6770

4 жыл бұрын

so did I

@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7

4 жыл бұрын

🤦‍♀️

@jahjarbinks1091

4 жыл бұрын

You’re still a kid, kid

I used to point out fat people as a child too. Couldn't understand why it was a bad thing. Now, 18 years later the love of my life is an overweight woman and I die a little inside any time she's depressed about her abysmal metabolism.

@LuvDTO

4 жыл бұрын

Tell her to work out

@ignatievgorodi7470

4 жыл бұрын

@@LuvDTO absolute madlad

@yaboique6650

4 жыл бұрын

@@LuvDTO absolute madlad

@carl3191

4 жыл бұрын

Holy shit

@panonymousbloom5405

4 жыл бұрын

She may want to hit endocrinologist. Hypothyroidism is shit.

19:48 "When I was little - about age 6 through 9-" Me: *I see what ya did there*

Grandma: “sh*t” 4 year old me: “sh*t“ Grandma: 👁👄👁

When I was about 4 or 5, my mom had this friend who really liked to drink. One night, I was supposed to be asleep. Well, I heard the said friend talking on the phone, and she near-yelled, "Hey everybodyyy! How bout a drink at my place?!" For some reason, my little brain remembered that phrase. On the first day of school, I went to the center of the classroom, and yelled, "hEy eVErYboDYyyYyYyy! hOw abOUt a dRiNK aT mY pLAcE?!" Yeah, my parents were far from happy when they got that call.

@Sara-hj7en

4 жыл бұрын

Nobody this is amazing😂

I said I had a spike fetish I thought that fetish meant that you really liked something I was half right I would like to take back every account of me saying spike fetish ever

@totenkopfan6296

4 жыл бұрын

*S P I K E F E T I S H*

@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7

4 жыл бұрын

Where did you like these "spike"s located?

@mouth7137

4 жыл бұрын

so you like inserting barbed wire into your as

@KELLY-yv7vp

4 жыл бұрын

same, i used fetish sparingly when i was younger too. my uncle used to laugh and i never knew why.

@yesnomentnoyesnt544

3 жыл бұрын

Wait.... Didn't Satan once say his dick had spikes? Oh noooo......

When I was little I peed in my grandmother's garden. The funny part is that I'm a girl, I would pull my pants down and just piss (standing up) and my mom took a photo of it. I thought it was fine because my brother would do it To this day (im 14years old) my mom still has the picture 😖

@guccimane-ew3vg

4 жыл бұрын

Anime Girl idiot

@EternalShadow1667

4 жыл бұрын

gucci mane 2006 toxic shithead

@Razatanx7

4 жыл бұрын

Anime Girl I see your mum is able to blackmail you for the next four years.😏Who am I kidding you’re screwed every time you bring something home.

@animegirl7099

4 жыл бұрын

@@Razatanx7 lol. she already mentioned it to her partner, she said I can pee like a boy

@portablerefrigerator4902

4 жыл бұрын

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEB

When I was between ages 9 and 11, I'd walk outside with my top off, so bare chested. Like in the garden or just outside the front of my house. See, my house was always having work done on it, so I'd see my dad and builders working with their tops off during the hot days and figured I could do it too to cool off. I'm female though... And I developed breasts early. The embarrassment of why that wasn't appropriate only kicked in a few months before I turned 12 and I was a C cup. I don't believe there were any paedos living near me, but if there were they got a show.

@dripdoutfish

4 жыл бұрын

That turned r-rated quickly, that second half 😓

@Feet570

4 жыл бұрын

My neighbour’s kid used to do this when we were younger (she’s only 1-2 years younger than me). We drove past her house once and I saw her completely naked out the front of her house.

@thewalkingmic5

4 жыл бұрын

Why didn’t ur parents do anything

@Bas_tet

4 жыл бұрын

Lol

@KELLY-yv7vp

4 жыл бұрын

i dont think peods like breast

When I was a kid I thought boyfriend meant I have a friend that is a boy so I would call all my male friends 'boyfriend'...

@yesnomentnoyesnt544

3 жыл бұрын

So you thought of it sort of like how when a girl has friends that are also girls, some people say the other girls are the first girls "girlfriends" not in the romantic way, but they are girls, that are friends, is that basically what you were thinking back then?

@Chocolate-rw5mh

3 жыл бұрын

@@yesnomentnoyesnt544 Yeah. Super embarrassing thinking about it now.

@yesnomentnoyesnt544

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah... I can imagine. But don't worry, I've done some cringe worthy things as well, we're in the same boat.

Kid: "What's an orgy?" *Room of 5th grade girls rubbing their bajingos on the chairs* Me: Uhhhh... it's a band, sweetie.

@bri_33

4 жыл бұрын

Excuse me?! Why were they doing that? 😭

@anthnylder8136

4 жыл бұрын

@@bri_33 they probably didnt know what they were doing

@laxdub207

4 жыл бұрын

Bajingo?

@jckmarsh

4 жыл бұрын

Lax Dub vag

@driftlessgaming8811

4 жыл бұрын

Wat

Put my junk on the pool jet, my dad had to practically tear me away from it.

@NN-ir9bj

4 жыл бұрын

So that he could use it? 😂

@skylarphillips4052

4 жыл бұрын

@@NN-ir9bj omg lol

@PartyDude_19

4 жыл бұрын

"I'm a simple man, when I see a hole, I put my dick in it."

The girl who helped the bird with the twisted beak stole my heart

Damn i ain’t ralisr the kind of trauma ugliness causes. That’s some pretty harsh doll treatment ladies

When I was younger I used to mix up words quite a bit. At the time, I was going to be in my great uncles wedding in a few days. As such, I was getting my fingernails and toenails done. This was my first time getting a full manipedi so I was quite interested in the whole process. Except for the part when they fixed/cut my cuticles. I hated it was quite scared. Later in the car with my mom it came up, but I had forgotten the right word, so what actually came out was “Mom I was so Scared when they cut my testicles off!!” She had not been listening to me and almost wrecked the car.

I used to find the word *buttcheeks* really funny. During family gatherings or any sort of meetings with relatives, I would yell out *BUTTCHEEKS!*

@lefaboo3941

4 жыл бұрын

I still find the word hilarious

@Bacony_Cakes

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, but the real Comedy Citadel is the word *"FART".*

I used to shake my butt against my friend’s as a means of saying hello. I did not realize I was lesbian until four years later.

10:29 "...while his friend left his behind behind." Brilliant.

I used to put flower on my lips and yell "I'm on crack" while scratching my neck. Dave Chappelle reference.

my god, this is like r/cursedcomments

@zeeteepippi275

4 жыл бұрын

If it was cursed comments, they'd still be doing it at like 40 years old.

@KELLY-yv7vp

4 жыл бұрын

if relatable memes and cursed comments made a baby

5:00 "Man, now I want some foreskin." I've heard silly putty works well.

Y’all are such haughties.

@demarcuschanning7125

4 жыл бұрын

Aww thanks 😄

@furiousmagician5912

4 жыл бұрын

*bad word*

@ilikeoranges8784

3 жыл бұрын

No no word

Wait people don't keep a box of tissues next to their bed? I always have because I blow my nose a lot

@bobcat24

4 жыл бұрын

The Ultimate Karen Right..... 😏

@-ruubi-7270

4 жыл бұрын

@@bobcat24 I'm a girl though 🤔🤔

@ther3dkidd

4 жыл бұрын

Can relate (I'm a guy) except I spill alot of Pepsi on my bed

@WERTYUIO821

4 жыл бұрын

Wait a minute... I am 20 with LOTS of allergies and just realized...

@stillshook6719

4 жыл бұрын

The Ultimate Karen I can relate bcs my nose would always get runny and I’m a dude

Me and a girl at like 6 would just go in her room and she would sit on my face. Idk why it ever happened but it did.

Pissing in the front yard in front of the neighbors. It was cute at 4 years old, but when the cops showed up after giving a neighbor a friendly wave during the business was a bit of a shock.

I drew out an elaborate picture when I was 8 of a “factory” with channels where different colored liquids flowed down and wrote “Making love” at the top. I intended it to mean, literally, producing love for my parents and had no idea that “making love” had a sexual connotation. I showed it to my teacher proudly, and she told me the words “making love” were not appropriate, one of those “you’ll figure out why when you’re older” kind of things. Also, on September 12, 2001 (when I was also 8) I went to the front of the class as we were all in a line about to go to lunch, pointed at Afghanistan on a globe and said “That’s Afghanistan. That’s where those f**king terrorists are from.” I knew the F word was wrong but thought its use was warranted given the circumstances. Also, it was a day after the attacks, a lot of information was still hazy. I flushed a pair of underpants down the toilet (I was 8, again). Also, when I was 8 (I must have gone crazy for that year) I went to the top of a 8’ or so slide and jumped to the ground, landing flat on my chest in the mulchy mud. Wasn’t hurt and did it several more times, only on that day though. I drank after random people at fast food restaurants around age 3 or so. Hope you wanted your Arch Deluxe with a side of toddler spit lol. May 9, 2020 8:18 am

@johnpomeroy6931

4 жыл бұрын

Being 8 years old was just your year

@David-io5fz

4 жыл бұрын

Idk how u know the dates

@mistyfox2078

4 жыл бұрын

When I was in a soccer camp for the summer we went swimming after lunch and we changed in the bathroom. (We were 8-9) This one girl took off all clothing below the waist in the bathroom and took other girls clothes (we hung them on the stalls) and would sit on them with nothing on(she had a shirt tho). She also flushed one girls clothes down different toilets. In 2nd grade this girl spit in people’s hair, put toilet paper in her shirt to make her chest bigger, put her hand down people’s pants when we were sitting “criss cross applesauce” (just girls) and threatened to rape people in the girls bathroom. Conclusion: Army brats are weird (this all took place on a military base)

@1995.hondacivic

4 жыл бұрын

@@David-io5fz the date of 9/11 or the date at the bottom?

@meatiest1989

3 жыл бұрын

I'm from Afghanistan and you weren't wrong, even know the Taliban are still a problem

Me and my step siblings years ago (since we weren’t biologically related me and my step brother were the same age and my step sis was a year older) but we basically created this club with each other called the “bad words club” we would go underneath our neighbors truck and basically say cuss words, we would go in order and each think of a bad word to say. looking back I see how fucking weird we were. Another thing, because of the year it was smoking cigarettes was considered “cool”. Me and my step sister liked to play games like roleplay, our parents didn’t smoke but their friends who came over did, we had this deck by our pool and you could basically go under it. Everyone threw there cigarette down there, long story short we would get the old buds and act like we were smoking. I hate that I did that because smoking is disgusting.

I had a peeping Tom stage. I knew it was wrong but morals are somewhat lacking when you are a kid.

@severablegibbon

4 жыл бұрын

the fuk is a peeping tom stage

@KELLY-yv7vp

4 жыл бұрын

@@severablegibbon you look at people naked without the other person knowing

@severablegibbon

4 жыл бұрын

LIL KELLY oh lol that makes sense, I think it was fairly late when I made that comment

I (female) used to play a game with my best friend (male) when we were smaller. Every time we had a sleepover and we were already in pajamas we would chase each other around his house (weirdly we always just did it at his house) and try to take each other's pants off. If one of us managed to take the other one's pants off he would have to run away and only when the other was wearing his pants again he was allowed to go after the other one. We weren't wearing underwear, so basically a small girl and a small boy would wrestle to take each other's pants off and run around naked chasing the other one to get their pants back. He eventually became my boyfriend and we dated for two years. Edit: I'm talking smaller as in 5 or 6 years old

@dripdoutfish

4 жыл бұрын

h3ntai artists: *WRITE THAT DOWN, WRITE THAT DOWN!!*

@AP-ui7db

4 жыл бұрын

SSJ-Super Saiyan Josh Greetings commoner how goes- *BY THE POPE*

After mercilessly destroying her barbies “I had my cuter stuffed animals and dolls watch *so they’d know what happened to ugly people* 😂😂😂😂

I used to have a cut in-between my fingers and I would stick my tongue through them to moisten the area and I did it in public lol

@user-kk3nk5zf9s

4 жыл бұрын

Meem_04 Oh boy!😂😂😂

@shaggymotionless4269

4 жыл бұрын

🤣 🤣 🤣

@phorg6999

4 жыл бұрын

paper cuts :

@ellelikeswarriorcatstoomuc5580

4 жыл бұрын

Oh sh¡t- I did that too ;-;

@theshockinglyeloquentdog9945

4 жыл бұрын

@Sakurako Hikari sweet summer child

Used to ask other kids to see/touch their "special spots" because it's what my gran's bf used to do to/with me. F in the chat?

@samtricks1966

4 жыл бұрын

F

@justascottishguyinscotland1167

4 жыл бұрын

F

@Bongs237

4 жыл бұрын

F

@darthhoovy8332

4 жыл бұрын

F

@imjustarandompersonwithave9049

4 жыл бұрын

F

Omg, it's 7:30 in the morning right now and I just laughed so hard at the butt parade story that I woke up the guy in the next apartment room over. Man, this is my life. XD

Lmao "good riddance"

"I miss that bed"

When I was younger I used to make my barbies cheat on each other....

The optimism that the robotic voice has when it reads “good riddance” is comedic

My mom once asked me and my siblings what we wanted to do when we grew up. When it was my turn, I said, "I'm gonna open my own strip club! ...Mom, what's a strip club?"

3:28 I used to do this too. Had to scrape them off for a solid hour

Just remembered a time when i was like 10 or 11 and me and a bunch of other kids in a troubled youth program managed to convince our supervisor to bind us under a table with ropes

@mediafox797

4 жыл бұрын

Wait wait wait explain!?!

@rinana4408

4 жыл бұрын

@@mediafox797 not much to explain really. When i attended an after school program as a kid for at risk kids, our supervisor or whatever would tie us up with rope under a table and played a villain when we would play pretend. It was completely innocent from as far as i can tell but still questionable

@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7

4 жыл бұрын

Did this eventually lead you to be tied to beds?

@rinana4408

4 жыл бұрын

@@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7 Can't say that it has.

@FBI-rc8jz

4 жыл бұрын

@@adolfhitlerthe360noscopego7 yes you can get 300 subs you're almost there

When I was really young and my parents would go grocery shopping with me I thought it was hilarious to shout "help me!" over and over 😅

When I was a kid I once found a condom (That was probably used) and thought it was a weirdly shaped balloon. You can probably guess what I did with it...

@tessarutchik7175

4 жыл бұрын

omfg-

@geniusaitoolfinder

4 жыл бұрын

You have experience at a young age,you said .

@Bas_tet

4 жыл бұрын

OMA

@_souldier

4 жыл бұрын

holy snap-

@yolkyostritch1692

4 жыл бұрын

Hold up

My volume button got sticky as i was turning it up and my mother heard "FORESKIN MASTER RACE" at full mfkin throttle

I called a massager, you know the ones people use for muscles, a Vibrator. I was 9-

One of my classmates in elementary said out loud during our free time "y'all do is talk about your stupid crushes, why not have s3x in front?" I didnt know what s3x means so I look it up. All I saw were naked people and I decided to draw them and it has the word "S3X" on top of each drawings. My mom found out but she didnt scold me or anything. I actually thought my drawings were cute. I decided to play with myself and it feel sooo good. I even did it with some of my stuffed toys(I know, I regret everything). Now that I grew up, I realized how fucked up I've been..

@amiracaroandyeeeeet.2779

4 жыл бұрын

Don't worry, you weren't the only one

@gazebo9730

4 жыл бұрын

M5ER totally is, but also very fulfilling

@gazebo9730

4 жыл бұрын

M5ER never said you had to

@amiracaroandyeeeeet.2779

4 жыл бұрын

@@quaso_3709 mood

@gazebo9730

4 жыл бұрын

M5ER pro tip: sometimes just don’t respond. Enjoy your day

I used to think that strip malls were literal malls where everyone stripped naked, so one time my mom told me that we were going to the strip mall and I started crying

I called all massagers (hand,back, neck massagers etc) vibrators when I was about six my mom always looked at me weird laughed and then gave me the hand massager lol

Everytime I went to a friends house I never understood why most of the dolls faces had crayon on them. Until now

When I was little I said I was African-american when I’m clearly white it was my grandma who was African-American so I think you would understand why I was so confused.

@Egilhelmson

3 жыл бұрын

If you had an African-American grandmother, then in any state that tracked it, from 1866 on, you were, too. Under the so-called “One Drop Rule”, even having only one great grandparent would be enough, and if you had that little ancestry your records would likely be lost, much like the “white” Michigan Eston family that believed themselves somehow related to Thomas Jefferson who discovered that they descended from Eston Hemings, son of Sally, who was probably his mistress (and definitely his wife’s enslaved half-sister).

I thought the f word was fudge

@cinnacinnacinna

4 жыл бұрын

H no I mean in the second grade someone whispered the actual f word and I said “fudge?” ...not my favorite memory

@v.8843

4 жыл бұрын

FUDGE U ALL U FUDGING FUDGE

I used to think that terrorists meant tourists and got confused why they were arrested. Eventually found out myself

when i was around 4 or 5, one of my close cousins friends was mixed, but pretty dark, and everyone called her "oreo", for obvious reasons. she was really nice and i loved her. i didn't know she was mixed or the reason behind her name, i just thought everyone who was darker was named oreo. my mom and i walked into a big city shop, and i, a very white child, stared at all of the people of color around me, and screamed in delight, "mommy!!! look there's more oreos!! theres oreos everywhere!!!" and i pointed at every black person i saw. im surprised my mother wasn't beaten up by everyone there

I had some weird fascination with my vaJJ when I was a kid and kept touching, rubbing and trying to put things there because it felt nice and gave me the tingles. I literally got a UTI when I was like 5~6 because of this.

@lore6488

4 жыл бұрын

*Screams of torment and pain*

@jackhartman17

4 жыл бұрын

What’s a UTI?

@MichaelR1275

4 жыл бұрын

@@jackhartman17 Good question

@SpecJack15

4 жыл бұрын

@@jackhartman17 Urinary Tract Infection. It's when it burns/hurt when you pee. And you get the frequent urge to pee and it will hurt. It sucks, I'm a guy and unluckily I got UTIs as well.

@101falcon

4 жыл бұрын

..... why did it have to be this comment... Imma go bury myself in a hole now >_

Back when KZread try not to laugh videos first came out, I was youngish (pre-teen) and I saw a video of a storm trooper thrusting into the air with funky music playing in the background. I thought it was hilarious and kept watching it, but my dad and my brother kept trying to tell me it was inappropriate. I was upset because it made me laugh and I didn't understand how it could possibly be bad. Now that I understand why it's a pretty hilarious memory. I can only wonder what my dad and brother were thinking and how they were probably panicking while trying to figure out a way to explain why it wasn't appropriate XD

The "Chocolate stranger" story was strangely heartwarming tho ...

I used to say that when u were in a crowded place and people would get in ur way, it was called human traffic not knowing what that actually meant

I used to roll paper into a cylinder (or something cylindrical) and do handjob motions onto it when I was bored without noticing. I did it till I was 14, idk if people noticed since I did it a lot in class but only a friend of mine pointed it out to me when we were having a conversation.... at least 7 years of my life and my parents never told or hint to me...

@epicbread1310

4 жыл бұрын

jeez, 14?!

Took my daughter to a new doctor when she was about 3. He was from Nigeria and my daughter said you’re real black. The doctor said yes I am because I’m from Africa. She said that’s okay because her aunt was striped. Her aunt almost always wore sandals with laces across her feet and up her calf. By summers end her feet and legs had tan lines all over them. I explained to the doctor but the look on his face when she said that still makes me chuckle and my daughter is almost 40 now.

In kindergarten, I also kept telling two boys in my class to sit on each other's faces. And during naptime, I rubbed against my blanket (preschool).

Used to huck insults (kind of vicious too) as a way of comradery to the opposite sex. Also said a lot of blatantly sexual things to female friends. My mind set was "Just step up and go for it! That's what the popular guys do!" Yeah, that only works if the woman is promiscuous and you are a 8/10 on a bad day. What ended up happening was a lot of girls ended up hating me and some of their boyfriends (I didn't care if they were taken at the time) wanted to beat the hell out of me. Nothing ever happened. But I do look back to my youth and cringe a lot. Was always a bit of an outcast or the "weird" kid. Then eventually I sorted myself out. Got out of the EBM/Goth style of clothing and started dressing preppy and cleaned up my act. Got a lot more positive attention after that.

I used to cross my legs when I was on the monkey bars and in the swimming pool hanging onto the side, because there was a particular way I could do it that felt good. I was probably around 6 at the time and everyone just thought I had to go to the bathroom. I eventually stopped just on my own, and never thought about it until almost a decade later when I remembered I used to do that. Also this video reminded me of a story my mom likes to tell about when my older brother was really little. We were in the car, stopped at a stoplight. A tow truck pulled up beside us. At the same time, a scantily clad woman is crossing the street in front of us. All our windows are rolled down. My older brother sees the tow truck beside us and exclaims very loudly, "MOM IS THAT A HOOKER??" (his word for tow trucks at the time) My mom is a fast thinker, and responds, even louder, "NO SON, THAT'S A *TOW TRUCK* !"

Once, my dad mentioned in a conversation that my grandpa is a raging sexist. Problem was, I had just leaned about “the grapevine” in devotions (basically Bible class), and how I should never believe a rumor without checking with the source. And in my mind, the source of this particular “rumor” was grandpa. So, being the good little Christian girl I was, the next time we had dinner with my grandparents, I asked “grandpa, is it true that you’re a raging sexist?” My parents were mortified.

In 3D printing in middle school tech. I put two spheres with a long cylinder in the middle. I just now understood why I got a good grade.

when I was a toddler up until I was at least 6, after a shower, I would run nude around the house screaming at the top of my lungs "Naked babies on the loose!!" usually followed by my equally nude 2 younger siblings who were screaming the same thing.

Two of my friends in kindergarten (one is still my best friend) too me they were going to get married, to which I said “but you can’t get married, you are both girls” and my best friend told me “I’ll just dress like a guy” and I just said oh ok Now I’m gay and she’s lesbian. Also in my country gay marriage had been legal for like 3.5 years at that point.

@drawingislife_09

3 жыл бұрын

That's wholesome and sucks at the same time

Me and my cousin and brother (both boys, I'm a girl) used to stand up on my grandmas bed and put our butts together and throw each other off the bed with our butts.

When I was in kindergarten me and my friend (a girl) would play doctor We never actually had sex but being curious kids we did do a lot of highly inappropriate things

@Bacony_Cakes

4 жыл бұрын

Did you get sued for medical malpractice?

@LeBronyaJames

3 жыл бұрын

That's pretty common for kids

When I was 6-8 we had these poles that were for the archery club in elementary school. *I used to dance on the poles.*

I just remembered something else, whenever my best friend and I had a sleepover we just rubbed ourselves on each other cause it “felt good”. Nowadays we just laugh at how gay we were.

I remember that as a kid i always wanted to be in the car's trunk while my parents were driving. They wouldn't let me do that and I didn't understand why. But now I get it.

13:12 sounds like a rap

Once when I was like 3 years old, I said “hey, u a sexy lady!” To an elderly women....I don’t know why I did this...

When I was a kid every time I won a video game I would “celebrate”... later realized I was getting laughed at for humping the air...