DEAR CLINICIANS, the alienating parent has NPD, BPD, or some other Cluster B disorder, that would be clue number ONE. 2) It's child abuse, this will manifest in the child. 3) The DSM DOES indicate child abuse AS A RESULT. Which you will see as a result of PA. 4) The alienating parent will not allow a child in therapy if the clinician suspects them of alienation, they will pull them out so fast it will make your head spin, even if the child is suicidal. 5) The child may have been sexually abused while in care of the mother, as well as the fact parental alienation in itself is abuse. It goes back to the alienating parent IS CLUSTER B PERSONALITY DISORDERED INDIVIDUAL. 6) The ENTIRE FAMILY will be alienated on one side. 7) Grown kids of parental alienation ALL say it's like BEING IN A CULT. The alienating parent will alienate the child FROM THE ENTIRE FAMILY so they are ISOLATED, then the alienating parent is a free to BRAINWASH them. The child lives in deep fear of the alienating parent if they disobey & show affection to the FAMILY who is being alienated. It doesn't matter who has custody. They are BRAINWASHED.8)The reason the child shows regression is because it's CHILD ABUSE. PERIOD.9) They ALWAYS have a personality disorder, you should be able to identify THAT, which is a problem unto itself, therapists don't know how to identify Cluster B Disorders & it's SO EASY. They have identical ways of manipulating, & always have a lack of empathy & exploitation of others, which is always present10) It's not always black & white, what if Dad drinks beer, but Mom is a established drug addict? 11) I've seen a child abandoned by her Mom at 3, Mom came back at 11, & she told me she did not live with her caretakers (targeted Grandparents & Father) from 3 to 11., after she was with Mom for 2 yrs, when she begin self-harming & with suicidal ideation. The derealization & depersonalization this child was extreme, she was a very intelligent child & of course it caused a tremendous amount of cognitive dissonance & stress. They cannot co-parent. Mom was abandoned as a child & had a traumatic childhood, as you stated about generational trauma. I find Mother's do this more often than men, but I haven't seen any studies to back this up. If you knew the history of the DSM-5, you wouldn't be laughing. Dr. Childess is the leading expert in the US on parental alienation.

@dpetinatos

Жыл бұрын

MS. Judea Lea, I read your comment before I started listening to the video. I just started looking into this term "alienating parent" and the major topic. Can you please provide the excerpt from DSM that you are referring in your comment? I found your points interesting to explore and bold enough by addressing clinicians directly in it. I do not know if you are a parent or whether you work in Behavioural Science field. Thank you.

@dpetinatos

Жыл бұрын

I meant to type Julie

@jmj5388

6 ай бұрын

Very good breakdown. I am a victim of P.A. as both a child and an a parent, due to both my mother and my husband having Cluster B personality pathology. I was estranged from my father and his family for 20+ years, until the light bulb went on in the course of individual therapy, and gradually patched together the fractured relationships. The man I married deceived me about his true character, which began revealing itself the day after returning from our honeymoon. As we had a “covenant marriage”, I tried many ways to make the relationship work, all of which he defied. Later, I played along in front of the children to give them a sense of security in their young years. Had the kids and I not been in counseling to support them due to my acquired disability, I might never have discovered that their father (from whom I had become estranged, even though we continued to live together) had been badmouthing me. #4 is absolutely right: the children were promptly and successfully discouraged from continuing in counseling.

@marthamaxim5924

5 ай бұрын

Thanks. I wish they interviewed you.

@jennifere.7205

5 ай бұрын

I have a question, what is the best thing to do if you have spent thousands of dollars fighting this alienating parent in court and can no longer afford lawyers to represent you to help the child get the therapy they need and enforce through sanctions? I wonder if I should try to get a parent coordinator. At this point I do not trust lawyers because it's been my experience that they elongate the case to play you for more money.

Thank you for this discussion. I am not a therapist but I am an alienated grandparent. This conversation was more hopeful than many I’ve encountered that were recorded in the last few years. This gives me the hope that factual information about parental alienation is becoming more widespread and that help is around the corner for parents and grandparents living this nightmare.

@julielea8344

Жыл бұрын

Ryan Thomas has a channel, he is a formerly alienated child & actually says the exact things the alienating parent tells the child. It may vary slightly & based on situations, but the alienating parent is a Cluster B personality type, so they have a "playbook" & it's the same for all of them, because their behaviors are nearly identical in other situations, due to the way the neural pathways formed in childhood that created the personality disorder is exactly the same, their behaviors are the same. Know one, you know them all. Good luck with your Grandchild (ren). I hope they are saved soon, & you get to see them soon. Dr. Childress is the leading Dr in the US on PA, he has been attempting to change the legal system to recognize PA.

From an alienated parent who finds this topic extremely important and serious, the constant laughter during what sounds like an informative piece of work is extremely annoying and hurtful. This is a serious topic. Save this kind of laughter for a different occasion.

@julielea8344

Жыл бұрын

Agreed! It makes her appear as if she's reasonably bright, with a superficial understanding of PA, & is portraying a lack of empathy! I said her because I heard the female's cackling, & frankly annoying, laughter, with only one verbal reference to having empathy, but no behavioral empathy was shown that I could pick up on.

@javiermontiero4982

Жыл бұрын

Goodness...

@MDavid-ib2le

9 ай бұрын

This video was on KZread so I get why you would have the feeling that the laughter should have occurred in another setting. The video was, arguably, created for therapist and actually offered continuing education opportunities for therapist. Therapist are human and some are also parents . If we stop being humans we will also stop being affective therapist. It is incredibly difficult to identify, and then support an alienated parent. I can only imagine how hard it has been for you in your struggle. Many therapists avoid the stress of helping families and kids in these situations. If therapist can talk as people and then colleagues about very difficult and painful clinical issues we can then be much more affective having professionally grown due to the conversation.

@HealthyMom247

7 ай бұрын

Totally agree, PA is nothing to laugh about. It's excruciatingly painful.

@jmj5388

6 ай бұрын

Yes, could do without the cackling, which is inappropriate and unprofessional, as well as annoying.

I’ve really enjoyed your video!!! I have been involved in a one of these cases but dealt with adult children trying to discover reality for themselves after this abuse. It is generational, everyone involved is hurt and fighting for perceived survival needs.

Thanks guys. This was really useful.

I haven't heard the whole episode yet, but I also haven't heard anything regarding the work of Dr Craig Childress I'm trying to see if there's a growing awareness and assessment of his approach?

In Australia it seems like we have few specialists that know about this stuff. The psychologists that I've seen to help me cope know very little about it. I was never confident of putting my child through all of that therapy, as my ex is an evil genius. I've just stayed the "supportive doormat" all this time. It's amazing how knowledge of what evidence to collect makes all the difference. I learnt this too late. If you document enough to show a pattern of behaviour, where the alienating parents words do not match their actions, then the judge can make a decision without the need for therapists.

@gettingschooled3094

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes by the time you've collected that evidence the alienation is too entrenched and you need a therapist anyway for reunification. Or you have no access to the child from the start and you don't have the opportunity to collect evidence about the alienating parent. I guess I'm lucky my ex gave me a tiny bit of visitation to collect evidence.

@russpearson9802

6 ай бұрын

Im in childrens court nsw, ive not seen my kids for 4 years, they are well coached to not want contact. This very narrcissistic narrative is very convenient for child welfare and uses the best interests of the child to deny my contact. But deliberately alienating me from my kids is not even on the courts radar or is it seen as an urgent matter to address. So in effect child welfare is supporting and aiding and abetting that serious abuse of my kids, on the premise of an abusive fabrication. Family court is no better. Ive been there and got screwed over for access too.

I'm really grateful MH providers are starting to pay attention to PA. This information, diagnosis as child abuse, and effective interventions are vitally needed. I think, though, that given the amount of laughing in this discussion, it is clear the gravity and pernicious nature of PA is not quite understood by the hosts.

@julielea8344

Жыл бұрын

I agree. And never did they clarify it IS child abuse, & can cause everything from grades dropping to self-harm & suicidal ideation. So I HEARTILY agree! And I was thinking the same, a very superficial understanding of PA.

@katylagoni6367

Жыл бұрын

The laughing was frustrating.

It hurts😢

To identify parental alienation. The focus should be on the communication style, behavior patterns, hostile aggression. Willful disagree beyond any reasonable in person. It’s fundamentally counterintuitive. You have to understand the difference between pathological enmeshment versus a true loving relationship. psychological and emotional abuse symptoms are identified and well documented for children and adults. Like the symptoms of a cold they’re listed. I understand where it can be confusing to side. A child mental health professional should always look at the pathology of the parents. First and the family dynamic. There is a major impact of fear and coercion from the onset most times starting before a divorce.

This therapist is horrible. I hope she never has children with a malignant narcissist. Both therapists are invalidating. My kids are narcissists after 20 years of subterranean abuse that I didn’t catch because I had no idea anyone could be so evil. And this was Before the divorce. Motive? Torture due to jealousy. He couldn’t be loved without vilifying the other parent. Oh, and all 3 of my kids are with much older people

@halfpintpuppets

8 ай бұрын

😢

@jmj5388

6 ай бұрын

You put it well: P.A. is so insidiously nefarious that the average, well-adjusted parent can’t believe that their personality-disordered counterpart would actually stoop to such a scheme. My children are probably a bit younger than yours, but my heart breaks at watching the devastating effects their father’s head trip is having on their personalities. You will get your children back! We all will! God is going to step in, and I believe that the crucial moment is fast-approaching.

@joshreeves29

27 күн бұрын

The reality of P.A. is that it could take several years for the child or children to build their own free thinking. Once they are able to not be coerced so easily, they'll start to see true colors from the parent who's alienated the other parent. I know with my case, it completely turned me against my mother. So much resentment has built up towards her that I feel everything she says is still a lie or is just saying something to be manipulative into making me meet or believe whatever is that she needs me to in order to fit her agenda to hurt someone. Kids want to believe whatever they hear as adolescents. Finding out that I was brainwashed for all of my childhood hurts to this day. It's pushed me to a road of alcoholism and on again off again drug addiction. And maybe a form of PTSD from ALWAYS keeping my guard up so high that I feel like someone is out to get me sometimes, even if that person is just trying to do something in good faith or gesture. It's SICK. And if you do this to any child, you're a sorry, selfish piece of shit. This is not directed at the woman who posted the comment I'm replying to I promise you. It's just the mother in my case. But just know that one day, they'll be able to see the truth for what it is. Praying for you to have a better relationship with your children very soon. I'll also tell you the # 1 thing not to do, and it may be very, very, very hard. That is to not be bullied into saying anything bad to your children about the father if they come to you with lies in their heads that he's built to anger you. I could not stand my dad and was terrified anytime I was around him. Only to find out that everything I was told about him was a 100% LIE. And I do have a relationship with my father these days and I've told him everything I was told as a child. I always thought as a child that the parent who isn't arguing their innocence to make the children believe them, must be guilty of everything I/we were being told. Not once did my dad say anything bad about my mother when we'd go to his house every other weekend for joint custody and mention how mom said he did.......... whatever it may have been she said to us in order to piss him off. Sorry for the long reply but this is a topic that's affected my entire life and today makes me hurt for how I was to my dad. It's a vicious cycle and parents should worry about their kids and not themselves.

Elephant in the room. the parent that is alienating child has a mental disorder. You have to be pretty effing sick to do the sort of thing to a child. So it's time to put the spotlight on the pathology of the parent. Pathogenic parent was triggered into decomposition - narcissistic injury stemming from the end of the marriage. The pathogenic parent does not have the capability to deal with loss and grief of lost relationship so they turned anger and revenge. Let's get these sick parents diagnosed. So their kids can be aware their parent has a fucking mental illness. Kids have the right to know if their parent has a mental illness chronically distorting/impacting how they view themselves, thier children(objects) and the child's other parent. Because this absolutely effs up a child, the child has the right to know that their effing parent has a effing mentally illness. They should not have to wait till they're 52 to figure out what their father did to them. My father alienated me from my mother. From age 9 to age 21. I had no idea he was a narcissist. I had no idea was mentally ill. I trusted that man when I was a child. I had no idea and I still didn't know he was sick even after I was back in touch with my mom. I had no idea that my discomfort with her (and my despicable behavior toward her which was induced mental illness from my father) had anything to do with him!!! These poor children have the right to know The parent is mentally ill. once there's any alienation complaint, both parents need to be psychologically evaluated effing right away. That should be the standard rule. We teach children in schools about s t d's by god, we need to start teaching them about manipulation tactics. Children should learn that chronic silent treatment from a parent is an automatic sign of mental illness. I had no idea him ignoring me was meant to shame me and a meant to make me feel a little so he could control me.

@jmj5388

6 ай бұрын

It would be ideal if Cluster B parents would be diagnosed and treated, but that is unlikely to happen. For one thing, these types generally do not participate in psychotherapy, unless it is for the purpose of deflecting accountability onto others; for another, treatment for Cluster B’s is arduous and rarely effective, and few afflicted individuals make the necessary commitment. Good point about the parental alienation tactics being deployed in response to a narcissist injury…by vindictive, maturity-stunted individuals, I might add.

@megdhd

2 ай бұрын

I’m sorry that happened to you. My mentally ill ex also used silent treatment and coercive control via shaming and weaponized sadness/grief. People think all abuse is explosive. But changing who you are and how you act so you don’t disappoint someone who is chronically disappointed and sad and emotional is still walking on eggshells and erodes all sense of self, making life center around keeping the disordered person in a behavioral “safety zone”

A. The woman is so off putting. B. The woman seeks to make maltreatment a great big complex mystery. Maltreatment is obvious. It is either there or not. With brief examination, evidence of it is there or not. There is no significant complexity.

Yes! This woman’s chortling makes the listener wonder her ability to analyze parental alienation when she herself has entirely inappropriate reactions.

22

Here's a no-brainer children go to counseling and then they have to go back home alone with the alienating parent

The woman therapist is laughing throughout😢

Parental Alienation isn't real...

@HealthyMom247

7 ай бұрын

Unless you've lived through it, you wouldn't understand.

@DorcasNeathery

7 ай бұрын

You are unquestionably incorrect in this claim, and on behalf of the millions of children experiencing ir have experienced this form of abuse (my children included) it is incredibly dehumanizing and inhumane to deny someone’s lived experience.

@jmj5388

6 ай бұрын

This comment was probably posted by a parental alienator.