They don't just deny YOUR reality - they deny REALITIES reality.

@elainasilva844

6 ай бұрын

LOL 😅😆😆 THAT IS SO TRUE, NARCISSIST REFUSE TO ADMIT REALITY IS REAL, EVEN WHEN YOU ACCUSE THEM OF WHAT EVERYONE KNOWS TO BE THE TRUTH!! ESPECIALLY A SELFISH EMOTIONAL IMMATURE, GOLD DIGGING NARCISSIST, ANOTHER SISTER OF MINE TYPED OUT A NEW WILL HAD MY DAD SIGN IT, THE NIGHT BEFORE 4 WAY HEART BYPASS, AND TOLD HIM IN FRONT OF: ME, HIS LAWYER, HIS BEST FRIEND, MY MOM,( OH JUST SIGN IT DAD ITS A NEW APPOROXY MAKING ME IN CHARGE OF YOUR HEALTH CARE DECISIONS INSTEAD OF MOM, BECAUSE I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT GOING ON BETTER, IT IS JUST A HEALTH CARE APPROXY!!) LOL DENIGH DENIAL, SHE HAD HIM SIGN AN ENTIRE NEW WILL AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TAKE MY DAD OFF DIALYSIS SND LIFE SUPPORT, WITHIN ,,24 HOURS. SHE MADE GAIN 50 POUNDS IN LESS THAN A DAY, WITH LIW BLOOD PRESSURE SHE IGNORED, MY NARCISSIST SISTER INSISTED THE NURSES TAKE MY DAD OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AND DYLYSIS IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS AFTER OPEN HEART SURGERY, AND NEVER ALLOWED MY DAD'S HEART TO HEAL, BY ALLOWING HIM TO HAVE THE DYLYSIS MACHINE, HE SAID HE NEEDED AS WELL AS OXYGEN AND LIFE SUPPORT UP TO 6 WEEKS TO RECOVER PROPERY..SHE KILLED MY DAD, SHE TOOK HIM OFF THE LIFE SUPPORT ALL THE NURSES AND DR'S SAID HE NEEDED TO RECOVER, AND LIVE AFTER HAVING A 4 WAY OPEN HEART SURGERY!! THEN SHE KIDNAPED MY MOM TO HER HOUSE, TOOK HER OFF ALL HER CARDIO PILLS, AND POURED MORPHINE AND ATTAVAN DOWN MY MOMS THROAT WHILE SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS , AND CAUSED HER TO DIE IF DEHYDRATION AFTER 7 DAYS!! SHE DENIGHED ME AFFECTION AND LIVE FROM MT PARENTS KILLING THEM BOTH!! MY ADVICE( DONT EVER MAKE ANYONE YOUR APPROXY!!! THEY WILL KILL YOU!! )

@david4ev

6 ай бұрын

😂 it's sounds so stupid but it's so true. A professional narcissist tries to turn it on you when you realize who they are and you just want to laugh. I have been on social media scrolling but denying all these signs that I'm dealing with a narcissist then more come. I wanted to bring a recorder into it last month and she said not to. I'm a virgin narcissist victim sry lmfao

@mimi-lg8lo

6 ай бұрын

What's up with the weird clip? The camera cutting away showing only a corner of a chair? 🤔 Fabulous information Dr. Rami! ❤️

@mic396

6 ай бұрын

That is good one wow

@nltinc.4864

5 ай бұрын

Yes!! My husband denies his own lies, denies that he gaslights me, denies the impact that his begrudging has on me. He denies that his pedophilic friend behaved inappropriately around our 12 year old daughter and the impact that it had on me and on her. He can just proceed to deny watching me walk out the door.

If somebody says they never said that when they did, it is the end of conversation and respect

@user-zh5fh2li9u

4 ай бұрын

I agree 100% !!

@chiarac3833

4 ай бұрын

Yes. And any relationship as well. I will be respected, not asking, I'm telling you.

@bethanndavis115

4 ай бұрын

When they say they didn't say that, they are not gaslighting but lying.

@kenoconnell7730

4 ай бұрын

I have situations like this all the time where my wife denies saying something I know she said, but there have been times where she tells me I said something, and my daughter, whom I trust, backs her up. Very confusing for me.

@xoxjelloxox

4 ай бұрын

Then I wonder if they forgot or I didn’t say that actually

Those type of people don’t have “insight”! They can’t recognize their own problems. Instead they blame others!

@Krikket-hm6pz

2 ай бұрын

So true. Oh man, I have said that very thing about my mother who acts like she's above reproach, is never wrong, never at fault and always has a defense/deflection mechanism on the ready. The woman irks the sh*t out of me, so I've made her feel my distance. She hates it. I love it. 🧘‍♀️🙏😌

@cinny_

2 ай бұрын

This is so true.

@JaquelineGoodspeed

2 ай бұрын

​@@Krikket-hm6pz She's your mother. Have a little respect and you don't hurt someone so you can feel good.

@pinchebruha405

2 ай бұрын

@@JaquelineGoodspeedthe only time I’ve found myself agreeing with transgender people: some women are just birthers > zero when it comes to nurturing, so many lives destroyed by the very birther demanding respect for her Motherhood Badge. You sound like my professional career criminal drug addict life long friend/sister who demands the children respect the mother no matter what… never mind they don’t respect laws or others property… yeah no free pass for those that try to hide behind the I am a mother therefore respect me! 😢

@kathleen4611

2 ай бұрын

I don't think there's very intelligent

The "I never said that" really ticks me off

I actually bought a recorder to record my narcissistic ex. Got divorced 14 years ago then found an awesome woman who I've been with for 8 years now. Life is so much better without having to deal with toxic people.

@jeffghalen4518

5 ай бұрын

God bless you. This is what I’m praying for.

@kennethspencer8379

5 ай бұрын

Same thing happened to me buddy. My current gf is awesome!

@jeffghalen4518

5 ай бұрын

@@kennethspencer8379 I bet you feel so light, almost like you had wings. 😅

@TalentedMisterHeat8

5 ай бұрын

Women are narcissists by nurture , so please understand the difference between being toxic and being narcissistic 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

@INFPennea9hufflepuffpjoforever

5 ай бұрын

​@@TalentedMisterHeat8 Women aren't narcissists by nature.

They deliberately lie about their lie.

@anonymous111delta4

2 ай бұрын

if you wanna catch a liar just remember they have to tell more lies to cover the last lie the higher they stack; soon the lies fall

That was me. I started writing down our conversations in my journal because he would say, “I NEVER said that. You make stuff up!”

@BestLittleStudio

20 сағат бұрын

I ended up recording myself 24/7. Found out she was literally trying to make me think I was losing my mind. Divorced after 22 years cause of that.

They aren't denying "YOUR" reality. There are not multiple realities. What they are denying IS REALITY.

Also they accuse you of doing exactly what they are doing and then act as if you actually did something

@spaceghost8995

6 ай бұрын

That's what Donald Trump does everyday.

@AK20741

6 ай бұрын

It's called Deflection & it's all part of the behaviour

@michie0587

5 ай бұрын

​@@spaceghost8995😂😂😂😂😂 TDS is real.

@spaceghost8995

5 ай бұрын

@@michie0587 You can't gaslight me.

@michie0587

5 ай бұрын

@@spaceghost8995 😂😂😂 The left always accuses the right of what they themselves are doing. Think about this. Who said Trump will get us in WW3? Look at where we are today. Seriously think about that.

I started to record him. When he denied what he said, I played the recording. His response went from denying to “so what? Do you have a problem with me saying that? And why do you record everything?”

@vaska1999

6 ай бұрын

I hope he's in your past now.

@fumarate1

6 ай бұрын

Typical Narcissisit always got answer for everthing,always have to have the last say in everything and they will turn it on you and say your the one that always has the last say.

@1TightMinute

6 ай бұрын

Then he probably went and told everyone how crazy you were and blew it out of proportion like you were taping his every move.

@dianawardrip5171

6 ай бұрын

Hope you dumped him!!!

@maryblushes7189

5 ай бұрын

They get abusive when you show them up.

I appreciate this talking couch for putting together this interview for us

@SherryTomlinson-mk7gm

8 күн бұрын

I just saw this one the other day. The talking couch. Think I am going to get me some stronger med pills. 😮

Please keep teaching people about this .my friend ended up in serious danger . Managed to get herself out but it was a long road back

@patrickharris5917

13 күн бұрын

Happens to men to men are abused all the time a lot more common than you think it’s not just women

16 yrs of me saying sorry and going to counseling because i was continually told im the reason that our marriage was not working..now 8yrs divorced and no antidepressants, no counseling, no stress, no gaslighting...Im very happy and live an almost stress free life...its wonderful and i now know im good enough and never needed her acceptance or approval to have happiness

@UNcommonSenseAUS

6 ай бұрын

Been there boys. Recovery is long af from the years of abuse.

@gregmedlin5274

5 ай бұрын

Love it I went 25 years I was pretty damn stupid but I had kids and didn’t want them to grow up without a father in the house. And both of my kids grew up to be great people so it was worth it.

@UNcommonSenseAUS

5 ай бұрын

@@gregmedlin5274 Same situation. Hung on as long as i could. Zero honesty. Zero accountability. Absolutely unbelievable the extent of the abuse & resultant trauma.

@UNcommonSenseAUS

5 ай бұрын

@@gregmedlin5274 no good deed goes unpunished.

@honorableone625

5 ай бұрын

Marriage is a trap

Facts, and narcissists will always flip it on you. Start to make you think you’re the one tripping.

@lasombradelaluz8802

3 ай бұрын

Indeed, they always tried to pull it with me whenever I caught them in their lies and called them out on it.

@caveman357

3 ай бұрын

Just got out of a relationship with a woman who was doing this to me. Crazy thing is that she is a therapist, and truly believes she is correct 100% of the time. Telling me that I said and asked things that I would never ever say

@Bluepearl187

3 ай бұрын

Exactly, I’d tell him how I felt and he’d turn it around on me and make it about him.

@user-et5qs2en4c

3 ай бұрын

Yep, I have one that is excellent at it❗️

@lisaclark6134

3 ай бұрын

Yes, and it usually works.....sadly!

When she said when you feel you have to voice record everything really hit home with me

It's tough when that person is your parent &is now elderly. Boundaries are important & so is therapy (for me)

I didn't get brave enough to start recording conversations until it was too late. It was literally the days that led up to me escaping. But by then he figured out that's what I was doing, and he changed from screaming to crying and seeming like a victim. These people are so good at their craft

@leahweinberger583

6 ай бұрын

I wrote notes to myself. Eye opening at the time. Even better since I've moved on. Gaslight morphs your reality out of shape.

@francescathomas3502

6 ай бұрын

@@leahweinberger583 Yes Keep a diary. That is what I had to so against my gaslighting mother when I was a child.

@lightfriend09

5 ай бұрын

I had a family member like this. I believed their accusations and tried to fix myself for months. Then one day they blew up at me for something that was so far out of left field, I snapped out of it and realized their accusation wasn't based in reality. I went no contact that day. Still messed with my head even months later as I tried to sort through what was real and my fault and what was not. I'm thankful to be in a healthier place now with a wonderful husband who showed me you can actually work through conflict without drama, blame, and grudges.

@user-et5qs2en4c

3 ай бұрын

Yes they are ❗️👍

@cr8786

2 ай бұрын

Sounds exactly like what my ex-husband used to do!!!!! 😮

And if they can't deny they said it, they say maybe I did but you took it all wrong and you're too emotional.

@Smileater

5 ай бұрын

Yeah, whenever they feel trapped, they go to aggrrsiveness or plain lack of shame and would use the "love" you feel for them (which normally is lack of self-steem or fear of loneliness) against you.

@jenniferlloyd9574

4 ай бұрын

Ok, I'm an adult and somis my sister, but she treats me this way.

@debarpitatarafder3417

4 ай бұрын

Absolutely

@user-sq8ug5ct1m

4 ай бұрын

Oh so true

@jamesdavison2416

4 ай бұрын

yeah and you most likely are soooooo

I had chronic pain and was on pain meds for a misdiagnosed broken ankle. My ex constantly told me I said and did things I didn't do. I thought I might have been confused due to the drugs. Got surgery and no more meds. Figured out she was a lying narcissist. She's gone and I've found the woman of my dreams. The good thing is you appreciate a good spouse more after living through that hell!

One of my FAVORITE gaslights from a previous relationship: "you're twisting my words"

It cutting to the sofa is killing me😂

@tianamarie989

4 ай бұрын

Me too! I'm like, is she talking to herself?? Are they trying to portray something here with the cameras?

@veritylee513

4 ай бұрын

The invisible interviewer.

@camez2345

4 ай бұрын

😂😂 I know! Like when Clint Eastwood talked to the empty chair 😂😂😂

@JDforeveralone

4 ай бұрын

That what puzzled me too 😂!! Thought the furniture is some AI stuff!!

@karlamkuhn760

4 ай бұрын

@@JDforeveraloneAltho I got it in the interview or whatever, your comment was Funny! Appreciate that! Thx! -Azariah (The LORD GOD HELPS) PSALM 20:1, 6-8; PROVERBS 16:25; ISAIAH 43; MATTHEW 24; DANIEL 3; JOHN 3:15-21; JOHN 14-21; ISAIAH 30:18-22; ACTS 1-3; REV 2:9; 3:9; GENESIS 6-9; PSALM 9:10

Yep. I had a boss who was narcissist gaslighted everyone. She eventually was charged with stealing hundreds of thousands $$ from the company. Then tried to blame people who she fired or quit years before. Stupidity is their middle name. They can't remember all their lies & always get caught.

@mariahconklin4150

7 ай бұрын

I know addicts do it also

@mariahconklin4150

7 ай бұрын

Exactly lol

@debbieblue5856

6 ай бұрын

I had a boss like that! I reported her to HR. I had been in a gas explosion. I had a TBI. She put me on disability. HR said she could not do that! I can come back. However, they will do everything to get fired. She would say mean things to me. I am a Certified Medical Coder with Associates. I just said, "I will stay in Long Term Disability."

@fumarate1

6 ай бұрын

like Judge says to lie you have to have a good memory.

@nickinurse6433

5 ай бұрын

We can say "always" when Trump finally is locked up

This is my supervisor 💯%!! She makes me hate going to work!!

@krisknowlton5935

2 ай бұрын

Just remember, people don't quit jobs, they quit bosses.

I lived with a roommate who was a major narcissist a few years ago. I'm glad he's gone now because I had to do that exact thing when talking to him, which I thought was just ridiculous. Needless to say, I feel MUCH better now, with no roommates at all, especially him!

the first example is actually "dismissal" of another's emotions. the second example is actual gaslighting where they deny an actual real event

@fumarate1

6 ай бұрын

Or they play dumb and make you look like the stupid one.

@DadeMurphie

5 ай бұрын

Came here to point that out.

@seajelly2421

5 ай бұрын

Yes and no. It is invalidation (dismissal), yes, but it goes beyond that. "You have no right to feel that way" is telling the person that not only is their emotional communication getting dismissed, but that _they themselves_ should _dismiss their own emotion._ That's what makes it also gaslighting. It's denying them their own reality (their emotions).

@DadeMurphie

5 ай бұрын

@@seajelly2421 It's not gaslighting as it does not seek to make the person question the reality of whether or not they feel that way. It acknowledges the reality that they do feel that way.

@seajelly2421

5 ай бұрын

@@DadeMurphie but that's exactly what it does.

He made me question my memory ALL the time. I began recording our discussions and listening to them later I finally realized how he would spin his words and try to twist my emotions in such a way that so that he would be the " " winner" and it was a huge affirmation that leaving him was the right thing to do.

@Smileater

5 ай бұрын

I'm glad for you

@janviergalle

5 ай бұрын

I deem that people nowadays are much more evil than 40 years back especially in the west.

I switched and made all serious conversations to either text or email. She would still gaslight and deny what she said even when it was in writing. The sheer insane pathetic nature of them is quite sad and ridiculous once you truly see it for what it is.

Leaving my kid's dad was the BEST thing I did for us. Wish these youtubes were around back then. This clip rings so many bells. 😢

Gaslighting is what we used to call lying.

@todayslist37737

3 ай бұрын

If we just stuck to the old terms I wouldn't have had to sit through this interview 😂

@WorthlessDeadEnd

3 ай бұрын

Yes, but it's a specific form of lying. Simply accusing someone of lying is vague, and they can just as easily turn it on you and accuse you of lying. Knowing what these specific terms are and what they mean is helpful in the long term.

@warlockpaladin2261

3 ай бұрын

It's a bit more than lying on its own... the term refers to a specific technique that liars use.

@aprilbarter

3 ай бұрын

And lying deliberately is called "bearing false witness against your neighbor".

@lizh1988

3 ай бұрын

It's done to disorient the person being gaslit, trying to make the victim feel as though they are disconnected from reality.

It is time for me to get out.

@beautiful_one5915

6 ай бұрын

Ditto

@dorothywillms115

5 ай бұрын

Sounds like you 2 are in agreement so after 53 of a hellish marriage to an ADD nutcase I suggest you go. I didn’t because I had no way to support me and my 2 children, which he didn’t really want, and being from a very religious family and unsupportive parents I had no money, no support and no where to go. Tonight I found out he stole my inheritance and gave it to his favorite kid. It makes you want to die.

@suehowie152

5 ай бұрын

Good luck..Life is better without a narcissist.

@user-uk3eh8ne7q

4 ай бұрын

It's ALWAYS time to leave a narc.

That advice needs to be publicized worldwide.

I love Dr. Ramani. She brilliantly explains narcissism in plain English.

When you are experiencing true gaslighting... You will immediately feel uneasy in your gut.... And cognitively you will begin to question whatever it is that you believe to be true.... It's a very uneasy feeling that comes over you.... However take comfort and courage that the uneasy feeling is your instincts alerting you that you are being deceived.

@dani323

7 ай бұрын

This 👆💯‼️Your gut/instinct/subconscious KNOWS! Even when the law says the opposite! And we are ignorant of the law, our subconscious (higher power/God's wisdom in us/universe) KNOWS! Trust y/our instincts/gut/inner voice. To be clear and be able to hear it, focus on own self (breath)🧘‍♀️

@jenniferbloh-michael8662

7 ай бұрын

Oh my God , it was AWFUL😊

@kanothe187

6 ай бұрын

It's worse with triangulation because then with the parties outside of the individual corroborating each other it really makes the dissonance all the easier.

@fee6362

6 ай бұрын

Not if you are use to it from your parents

@fumarate1

6 ай бұрын

and the way they look at you its kind of like there sucking you in with there eyes and they hold in place but its hard to leave there space.

I was once married to a gaslighting narcissistic female! They do exist.

@marshalucas7984

7 ай бұрын

I knew a woman that was gaslighted for years until she found her worth! Now she’s healing !

@Mikejames1080

7 ай бұрын

Most females are.

@cassievining340

7 ай бұрын

@hustlecrowe845I’m so sorry you went through that 😢

@dani323

7 ай бұрын

Yeah, they DO exist! I grew up with one! My middle sister. I was looking for this comment. Thank you!

@dani323

7 ай бұрын

@hustlecrowe845I'm so very sorry for your experience. But, the best recommendation from you. It is 1 MILLONTH times better being homeless than being trapped in a house with that! Protect/ Guard 💂 y/our Peace! It's priceless!

I have a good memory and I know what happened a narc cannot make me doubt myself! Be mentally strong!!

She is giving the correct meaning of the word. Gaslighting is not just lying. It's lying PLUS trying to make you feel crazy or oversensitive for not co-signing the lie.

She hit that spot on. The voice memo was the trick. I never thought it would come to that but it was always already that way. The voice memo was for me to actually believe I was told those things. It helped me get away. Pay attention.

@user-io9ie5cs8j

4 ай бұрын

YES, almost exactly what I did

@betsygarcia4346

4 ай бұрын

I voice recorded and got out last weekend. I feel like I broke out of a POW camp, but I am feeling better day by day.

@user-io9ie5cs8j

4 ай бұрын

@@betsygarcia4346 Good for you, Betsy! So glad to hear that. I know what you're going through. It gets better 😉

@anthony19723

4 ай бұрын

@@betsygarcia4346 Good for you! It's painful but you have to do it for yourself.

@SALTYCOMBATDIVER-ExInstructor

3 ай бұрын

I thought if they heard themselves they would see what I was seeing. I never did record the conversations but told them it would be helpful if we had recorded conversations. They just gaslight you and accuse you of being the bad person. This seems to he a new development for some. Long term relationships have ended this way and I'm still confused as to why.

Gaslighting people by accusing them of having gaslighted you has also become very common. It makes pushing back against actual gaslighting a lot harder.

@111...

4 ай бұрын

Wow. That's horrible. I would find and work with a licensed therapist, one who is very familiar with narcissism; be prudent in researching them first by learning about narcissism, this way you can find a therapist who isn't pushing for clients based on psychological & social media pop culture "buzzwords", of claiming they're specialized in dealing with narcissism when, in fact, they're just looking for clients based on trendy labels. You pay them, you spill all to someone, so make sure that someone can actually help you, please. Good luck!

@Parcha64

3 ай бұрын

That's why it's best not to use buzzwords. Using the vocabulary to understand what you're going through is good around safe people. I caution against using the terms with a manipulative person and try describing the details of the conflict directly. You can use your knowledge of gaslighting by describing the definition through their actions. That way there's no weaseling out. You have a problem with their bad behavior, not with "gaslighting". Narcs are really bad at connecting their own actions to larger concepts, so you have to spoonfeed everything to them

@sunnyjoy229

3 ай бұрын

​@@Parcha64 so true!

Why didn’t I have access to this information years and years ago??? A life would be saved, I love you Dr Ramani ❤

I always felt like I needed to record every conversation.

It’s so annoying for someone to look you in the face and say they never said something YOU KNOW they said . Then they try to use “ how are you going to tell me what I said “ which is valid but STILL I KNOW for a fact what I heard you say. You said it ! 😭

mine stopped saying stuff once I started recording conversations.

This is so true! I was in a relationship where I argued the discrepancies and he told me I was wrong. For a few months I tried to play it his way, until my conscience couldn’t take it anymore. Then I suggested we get a shared journal to write to each other our wants, our apologies, our joys with each other. He got so angry when I showed he what he said and what he did didn’t match, in his very own handwriting! I seriously thought he thought I was stupid and was messing with me. Turns out he was manic depressive. (Oh the stupid sh** we put up with in our 20s LOL)

Recognise these signs in your partner. Such narcissists will make you feel unworthy and question your own identity. Living with such people is really terrible.

@Da_Xman

2 ай бұрын

"Partner" is only incidental. Gaslighting applies to everyone (relatives, supposed "friends" and acquaintances, the people on the street, business people, clergy, social workers, co-workers, bosses, politicians (you get it - everyone and probably even your own damned self). No one's exempt.

@vocalsunleashed

2 ай бұрын

​@@Da_Xmanyes! I feel so gaslit by the social workers at assisted living where I live. I am going to record every conversation from now on

@Da_Xman

2 ай бұрын

@@vocalsunleashed Just recognizing the situation for what it is will help immensely. You might politely state your observations - without blame - if there's an opportunity? Other than that, if you must follow the social worker's directions, the only choice is to do so or possibly lose any opportunities or benefits offered. Also, you might keep in mind that there's a possibility that what you're interpreting to be happening isn't actually quite what's going on but, instead, triggering a similar time in the past when something like that actually was. If you attempt to politely sort it out and it keeps happening, keep paying attention to see if what's just been mentioned might apply; if not, all you can do is either persevere and maybe learn and gain something or leave, whichever is most optimum. Simply observe, relax, be certain of yourself and at peace in your heart; don't doubt yourself; your alive and aware; that's the bottom line and quite enough to get you by until the situation changes for the better. And, keep on keepin' on - that's the really important part! ✨🌈♥️👋🥴👍✨

A lot of relationships doesn’t even understand the concept of gaslighting! This is good!

@mariahconklin4150

7 ай бұрын

Right? 😂 I guess my boyfriend is a narcissist 😂

@helenbostock2350

6 ай бұрын

True thank you for explaining

@kmac2765

5 ай бұрын

So true!! It happens gradually I didn’t understand why or what was happening for almost a year. Lots of crying, hurt & confusion before I wised up. Began to educate myself on this horrible type of abuse. It’s a hard thing to come to terms with and doesn’t happen quickly but the good news is no one can ever do that to me again. People will try and I will have no problem walking away.

I think this is why i dont talk to a lot of people.i cannot recall how many times ive been told "thats not what i meant" or just simply "you dont understand/you took it the wrong way"

"I never said that" goes both ways.

I’ve been gaslighted all my life. What hurts is when you’re told that someone’s your friend as long as it’s just the two of you but when around others your not friends

@PhenomMy_Journey

2 ай бұрын

Been through it. Feel your pain!

@SuperWisernow

2 ай бұрын

Start getting away from that person and Find a REAL friend

@neneppete4737

2 ай бұрын

Two faced backstabbers 😮

Listening & learning about narcissists makes me happy and reminds me how blessed I am that mine decided to move 1,000 miles away before he imploded 😂

@SpiderBRidin

3 ай бұрын

Love hearing beautiful stories like this! Mine melted down right before my eyes, then I moved out, hit her with divorce papers, and she moved over 1,200 miles away. My dog was her replacement... Way more loyal.

@user-et5qs2en4c

3 ай бұрын

🤣😂🤣❗️👍

@user-et5qs2en4c

3 ай бұрын

@@SpiderBRidinHope things go well for you from here on😊

@katherinehunter932

3 ай бұрын

Look at that happy smile. Good for you!

"It's all in your mind, you imagined it."

The best part is when they accuse you of gaslighting them repeatedly

@jrod7017

2 ай бұрын

💯%.

@lots3799

Ай бұрын

🤔Sounds like the GOP.😅😅😅😅

@Jd73he84h

Ай бұрын

💯

Yep! That's when I realized I was being wrapped in a mind game and the one who was mature enough to stop the relationship. Run, don't walk away, RUN!

@Indy__isnt_it

5 ай бұрын

It only gets worse with them as they age, belligerent MF'ers sorry, I'm telling their truth. He doesn't know I record his nasty verbal abuse probably 10 nasty recordings of his rants and rage. He also antagonizes physically, watch a pissed off kangaroo! They puff out their chest, fling their arms out wide, giving them an appearance of larger than what they are. This one puts his hands on his hips while chest puffing, extending his elbows so if I walk by I hit his arm, his wingspan is blocking a doorway, he's not a mother flucker AT ALL. If you want to laugh, Google kangaroo tangles with a human. (I used to like those cute little joeys, no more, nasty like a narc!!!)

I look after someone terribly ill. This makes my heart wretch every time they deny something horrible, they said. Wow, I could not have explained this any better than the clip did.

SO, SO TRUE. It's actually very frightening and feels like the carpet just got pulled from underneath you. LEAVE as quickly and quietly as possible. I did. He couldn't believe I had actually left and accused me of not telling him what I was going to do. To which I replied that I most certainly had🤣🤣

Using a tape recorder is definitely not so you can play it back to the narcissist (covert or overt)---- anyone who's tried this knows (1) the narcissist will still find a way to deflect/argue/gaslight, even if you've heard the convo word-for-word repeatedly and know otherwise, and (2) you *never* show the narcissist the tape recorder, because (at the very least) their "hurt" and "outrage" will overshadow any point one could make with info gleaned from said recordings, and once they know theyre being recorded they get even more manipulative and slippery

@nerored6235

6 ай бұрын

Not to mention the accusations of you trying to manipulate them and going out of your way to try to hurt or attack them or to use it as a weapon against them to make you feel guilty for doing it.

@shaut9120

5 ай бұрын

ya they refuse to listen to it and hangs up the phone

@Martive_Led

5 ай бұрын

Don’t forget 13 states require two party consent before recording conversations; big players include CA, FL, PA, MI, MD, WA. This law applies to public as well as private property and requires any video to delete sound and/or the topic of the conversation.

@abost09

5 ай бұрын

​@@Martive_LedI record so that I can validate my own memory so I'm not going crazy. But I do live in one of those states.

@Martive_Led

5 ай бұрын

@@abost09 If the other party is privy to your ‘personal’ recording, you are still libel for prosecution.

Not "your" reality, but REALITY. Truth is objective.

@WorthlessDeadEnd

3 ай бұрын

*_THANK_* you.

@warlockpaladin2261

3 ай бұрын

Says a lot about which collection of narcissists she is trying to cozy up to.

@moregrouchy

3 ай бұрын

Facts are objective. Truth is subjective. Your truth is not my truth, that's a fact.

@oldmanyoung7892

3 ай бұрын

Yea. The ones agreeing w the clip are the gaslight ERS 😂

@WorthlessDeadEnd

3 ай бұрын

@@moregrouchy Lies. Truth is truth. There is no "your" truth. There is only truth. Gender means sex. It is not an abstract construct of society. Get out of here with your Marxist groupthink.

I didn’t realize the invisible man was such a good interviewer.

Gaslighting is the craziest highest level of deflecting

When you start having to screenshot convos bc they keep saying "i never promised that" "i never said id be there" etc. Its not denying your reality, its showing they dont feel promises or their words mean anything binding. Words are just tools for the moment to get what they want.

@vaska1999

6 ай бұрын

It's denying reality, not some private subjective experience.

@TinySnek

6 ай бұрын

@@vaska1999😂😂🎉🎉❤❤

I had to be out of the house to see it. I needed the kids at my place (a few months after we had separated) because school was starting the next day. He said school doesn’t start tomorrow. Everybody knows it starts Wednesday! School starts every year on Wednesday! It was even in this week’s paper! You’re so ridiculous! School did start the next day. I was right and all of a sudden I realized he’d been doing this to me for years and making me feel stupid all that time! My decision to leave has been reinforced so many times over!

@mykeprior3436

5 ай бұрын

lol you got a date right and think that invalidates an entire relationship. jesus.

@brendajohnson150

5 ай бұрын

Lol!😂😂😂😅

@AkeruZikora

4 ай бұрын

​@@mykeprior3436 She said she realised he'd been doing it before in other cases.

A guy I was seeing kept doing that to me and whenever I would call him out on his BS, he would get super aggressive in order to shut me up so I would stop asking questions and go along with whatever he said happened. I’m so glad I broke up with him. I can’t deal with that, being with a narcissist is draining

Re: "I never said that." ..with a self righteous attitude. Thank You. I used to question myself. No longer *Crazy how they end up alone or with someone lonely or sick and that person "needs" them.

I recorded them to show myself after a couple days of no contact when i start to miss them. To show how horrid they are and to not forget. That's not love.

@TinySnek

6 ай бұрын

True wisdom 😅

@a2shillam

3 ай бұрын

That is, in fact, addiction. When you become so used to the abusive mind games that have become your normal that you seek to fill the soundtrack in your mind when the voice is absent..... it was a horrible way to live. I was crying to get out, but out of what?? Nobody knew the extent of my trap, that place where I lived in my mind. 😢 Hell.

“Getting out” of a relationship is not always an option when it’s a close family member…

@vaska1999

6 ай бұрын

Dr Ramani has a number of videos describing strategies to use in such a situation. Well worth checking out.

@Vic-jw7vb

6 ай бұрын

​@@vaska1999 can you name them she has so many as I need to watch them too.

@francescathomas3502

6 ай бұрын

Yeah. Like my toxic mother!! I had to marry a foreigner and move to his country to get away from her.

@susanlisson7066

4 ай бұрын

There are ways and Dr Ramani has many videos to help you, plus sometimes there’s even helpful advice and support in the comments section of her videos. Good luck and I hope you find some peace. 🙏🏽

@koricastricone4604

3 ай бұрын

That’s what I was gonna say!! It’s my MOM that’s the problem!! & a narcissist can’t even be helped, cause they will NEVER admit they even have a problem in the first place! 🥺😢💔I’m beyond frustrated!!

Yep had said loads of times " I didn't say that it's your mental health"

My boss does this to me every day 😂 I probably should start writing it all down.

@lookingtowardsthesun

4 ай бұрын

Please do. And if it escalates don't be afraid to report the person and leave as soon as you can.

I would say to him, “ I WISH we had a recording”. His response would often be that he had a perfect memory, so we don’t need a recording.

@eire7888

5 ай бұрын

😂😂

@maryrorick6129

3 ай бұрын

Sounds like my dad with my poor mom. :-(

Recently, my eyes have been opened to the truth! My mom and my sister are both narcissists. My mom also is an enabler to my sister’s vulnerable narcissism. It all makes so much sense now. The gaslighting done by these two is absolutely disgusting.

Sadly, I didn't learn my mom was a narcissist until last year. And back in December, I recorded a conversation we had. Since then, I haven't called her, and I rarely answer her calls. When I do answer, I am very dry, and I barely engage. I choose to protect my peace and my energy. 33 years I've dealt with this behavior and more. There's so much I've had to rebuild within me and heal.

They also disappear during a conversation and then reappear

My ex-husband gaslit me constantly. 29 years with my narc! Ugh! I was his empathic dreamgirl. Never again!

@crystalgreen6027

7 ай бұрын

Yeah, I am with a gaslighter and a never-ending talker, married for 21 years. I know that, and I just don't listen to that nonsense. But I didn't have a happy life for 20 years, and we have three children. Now I am waiting for the last one, which is 17, y/o get a license, and car, and set into college. Then I am planning to be free and happy!

@fightingfiresusa2961

6 ай бұрын

30 years here. God bless both of you ❤ Thank you for posting your experience, it means so much.

@dorothywillms115

5 ай бұрын

53 years! Why didn’t I just up and leave. I came from a religious home and hyper and angry mother. Divorce was considered evil and I couldn’t go back to my parents. I had no money,no support, few friends and a baby. Who could I have left her with?? I couldn’t afford a babysitter and never heard of welfare. So I stuck it out. Turns out I finally took him to one of Dr. Amens clinics and found out he and my child both have ADHD. Now he’s going almost totally deaf and acts so self righteous and holy it makes me want to die. Tonight I found out he took my inheritance and gave it to his favorite kid. In all these years I never argued about money but this is more than I can bear. Time to send him to the old folks joint. Trouble is he is very strong and at 75 still works long hours on his precious farm. About 10 friends of mine have died. We live out in the sticks and Iam isolated. Sorry for complaining and thanks for listening. Oh by the way councelling did nothing because he knows better. KZread is my companion. Any other old women out there who understand my fate??

so true! i used to voice record my narc all the time! i have been narc free for 9 years now! never going through that hell again

So true. My ex husband and long term ex boyfriend both did that. I have just met a wonderful, loving man and feel cherished for the first time in my life. ❤❤❤

mine would say "that's not the word I used, I wouldn't have used that word" so any discussion of what I was upset about would never happen. I would say, "so, unless I carry around a tape recorder to get what you say on tape, we can never discuss it. I can't believe I stayed.

@420Mrgreenkush

4 ай бұрын

I cant believe I staying 😢

@usualsuspects42

4 ай бұрын

@@420Mrgreenkush Be kind to yourself, you are staying right now because It is VERY VERY difficult to get away. But you can do it. Just start thinking about it. Don't let him know anything you are thinking. Don't let him know anything.

@Lostinathens

4 ай бұрын

​@@usualsuspects42exactly

@bettyc.parker-young1437

4 ай бұрын

​​@@420Mrgreenkush I left a very bad marriage 20 years ago abruptly. No plan. For me that was the best way by surprise. I am very happy now. God bless.❤ You have lots of resources now. Look into them but not on your gadgets. On others. Get assistance. 👍

Thanks for posting ❤ it’s life changing for us who are victims of narcissists 😢

@dani323

7 ай бұрын

Stay the course. I encourage you and everyone else to keep on #movingforward . 1️⃣step then the next. That's it! Let's Meet with others at the front line of Survivors! Next🆙Let's move beyond that! Transformation of our self is the best gift 💝 to humanity! Finish line 🏁 ❤

@mykeprior3436

5 ай бұрын

Maybe stop clinging to being a victim like a wet blanket and grow up. Very few people in the west are true "victims" of any kind of oppression or traumatic event.

Yes !! This lady knows her stuff !!

Omg.. listening to her just gave me chills bc yes I actually was thinking that I needed to voice record my conversations with my ex to prove what was actually being said. So many conversations we had were about my trying to be heard the way I wanted to be heard bc he would often discredit my thoughts. What a blessing it was to get out of that mess.

I find it amazing that so many people are talking about narcissists. From 2008 to 2016 (with a 3 year break) I was with one and NOONE was talking about it. I didn't know what I was up against and didn't know what was happening. I finally got out after stumbling on a website. She spoke of similar scenerios that I went through. But the genius of her realization was one question she repeatedly asked herself and I often would ask myself. And the ultimate question you find yourseld asking yourself when you are with a narcissist is this, "Am I Crazy"? This means you are with a narcissist. RUN!

@lizh1988

3 ай бұрын

To some people it seems like a fad, but the absolute selfishness of a narcissist so fits the descriptions that people talk about. I guess this is a period of time when this sort of thing just has to be dealt with. For me it's been a blessing to have to stay in and focus on the internet. C19 got me in the Long Haul, for a year and a half I didn't leave the front sidewalk. I'm no contact with most of the people in my life who fit the description. Minimal contact with one, not sure how far I can get away from this one. I'm still recovering from so much. But so glad this all is being talked about, and I was prepared for it.

@user-bv9df2ol7q

3 ай бұрын

Exactly!!! When I started asking myself "Am I crazy?" It took me a second and then I realized, crazy people don't know they are crazy and would never ask themselves that question.

I've had multiple narcissistic, abusive bosses but one of the last ones targeted me to a point where I did record him & reported him to hr. The crap he did & said was so bizarre & over the top he made other employees afraid for their jobs as well as their lives. In the end, the company owner, hr & a GM had a meeting with me & tried gaslighting me over his horrible behavior. Your videos helped me understand what was going on. I'm still suffering from PTSD from the non-stop abuse - I can't work for anyone anymore but, at least, I can see the behavior more clearly now.

@elainasilva844

7 ай бұрын

IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM I TOLD THEM I JEPT FALLING DOEN EVERYTIME MY SISTER STARTED SCREAMING AT ME AND I TOLD THE DR. MY ARMS JEEP MOVING UP AND DOWN WHEN I TRYING TO SLEEP AND MY ENTIRE TORSO MOVES UP AND DOWN IN THE BED, AND SHAKES LIKE IM HAVING SEIZURES, I CANT STOP IT EVERY NIGHT WHILE IM TRYING TO SLEEP AND EVERY MORNING I WOKE UP GAGGING AT 6 AM TO 12 NOON NOT BE ABLE TO STOP AND HE SAID YOU DEVELOPED P.T. S.D. SEVERE HIGH BLOID PRESSURE 200/ 90 ECT DAY AFTER DAY FOR 45 PLUS DAYS IT ROOK WEEKS OF BEING NURTURED AND SWEET TALKED TO BY MY LIVING NEICE TO MAKE ME FEEL SAFE, SECURE, LOVED, AGAIN, ENOUGH FOR THE NIGHT SEIZURES TO FINALLY STOP, AND THE MORNING SEVERE REFLUXING FROM P.T S.D. BUT I STILL CANT FALL ASLEEP AFTER WORKING 10 PLUS HOURS UNTIL 1 OR 2 AM THEN I NEED. TO GET UP BY 8 AM UGH!! P.T.S.D. FOR LIFE SUCKS!! EVERY MILITARY MAN HAS IT, BUT OUR GOVERNMENT WOULD GO BANKRUPT IF THEY DIAGNOSED AND TREATED EVERY ONE OF OUR BRAVE SELFLESS SOLDIERS, THE IS A REASON WHY DR 'S REFUSE TO GIVE PATIENTS REFERRALS!!! ALL EVIL STARTS AND ENDS WITH MONEY AS A MOTIVE!!!

@elainasilva844

7 ай бұрын

IM SO SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU AND SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE ARE BEING ABUSED, AND TAUNTED/ MADE FUN OF/ MADE LIGHT OF THE MATTER OF THE VICTIMS BECOMING ILL, EMOTIONALLY, AND PHYICALLY, BY SELFISH, ABUSIVE NARCISSIST IN THIS WORLD!!! GOD BLESS ALL THE LOVING KIND PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD AND PROTECT THEM FROM ALL NARCISSIST AMEN!!! / SO BE IT!!

@mic396

7 ай бұрын

@@elainasilva844 Thank you Hit 🎯 on nose

@janiecepoush1904

6 ай бұрын

When we have Wisdom, which is a Gift from the Holy Spirit… We can watch for the ‘Red Flags,’ of Narcissism! When you apply all of the knowledge of not being involved, you can CHOOSE to stay off of the Narcissist’s Hit List! Dr. Ramani explains the Acronym D.E.E.P. ~ Don’t Deny… ~ Don’t Explain… ~ Don’t ENGAGE… ~ Don’t Personalize! Because these Demon People WILL WIN! They use Tactics that ALL Good People Do Not Know… It’s like Showing up to an Auction, w/ ZERO Money… Dinner, w/o Food, a Test w/o Studying~ Good People should not Wrestle w/Pigs in the Mud! You will only LOSE & Get up Muddy! So, when you have a “Demon Narc Person-BOSS’ you have to allow them to Always take Center Stage, while you, stay Silent. If it is a Job… This will allow you to keep your Head & Emotions long enough TO LOOK FOR A NEW JOB if the Narc Targets You! I have studied thousands of hours… The More Emotionally Mature & Happy we are with our Own Life, the Easier it is to … “WALK AWAY” w/o Wasting any Energy! It made me Sad when you said that you couldn’t work with others… The Narcs are only 20 ~ 25% of the World… Which means, the majority 75-80 of people ARE NORMAL, ie. “GOOD PEOPLE!” GOD would have us develop Wisdom from our Hard Experiences & Not Isolate & Allow the Bad people to Dictate our Lives into Isolation! 🙏🏻WE CAN CHOOSE to BE BEAVE & CHOOSE LIFE! CHOOSE WHOM YOU WILL ASSOCIATE WITH & WHOM YOU WILL WALK AWAY FROM! WE CAN DO THIS, by Watching for the Signs! 🙏🏻Blessings! 🕊🍃

@TinySnek

6 ай бұрын

@@elainasilva844❤❤❤

Wow, she just described my mom. Besides denying anything I know to be true, she has to make comments about what is wrong with me every time I see her.

Very well said! Unbelievable, how there are so many people like that! And yes, if you do not have children walk away always! I feel terrible for children who are involved in the middle of these psychos!

Literally after an argument where he went into a rage which did not meet the level of conflict we were engaged in... - I started writing, "I'm writing about this interaction immediately afterwards, because I feel as if I've been gaslit before so I want to make sure my whole truth is written down in the moment." 🤦🏼‍♀️

They usually work “ you’re crazy” into the gaslighting somewhere 🙄🙀

@EavyMuturuh

3 ай бұрын

Yep you’re on point.

@RedMixRecords

3 ай бұрын

What about if you are absolutely crazy though?

@UrDominioN

2 ай бұрын

My answer: Are they a professional that can make that assumption? Because someone who’s using those tactics, will turn a person”cray”Lol.

Wow, you just explained my relationship with my boyfriend. I’ve mentioned to him before that I need to record our conversations cause he absolutely does this and I swear it’s to just argue more or to want to treat me like shit more

He would continually tell me I'm misperceiving or mishearing him. Every time.

She's just exactly right!!

~ I Never Said That! ~ I never Did That! ~ If your Feelings are hurt… That means you’re being selfish! 🙏🏻🕊🍃

@theirishsaint4324

6 ай бұрын

Or the really big brain stuff, “well I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, it wasn’t my intention.” Immediately repeats what I said was hurtful.

@janiecepoush1904

6 ай бұрын

Classic Narc ~ Yip! My EX insulted my B-I-L in a Restaurant for “Being SHORT & Sm. In Stature ~ Telling him, “He looked FEM!” So I replied, “Your New Pinkie Ring REALLY LOOKS “New Orleans Parade Gaudy!”Joe was born smaller, but he’s a Big Man to his Family that Loves Him Dearly! What’s your Excuse, Bulwinkle?” He turned Red & Left me to get home on My OWN (w/ my Sis)! At least I didn’t have to FLY HOME Fm Another STATE … Yip! That too! Well worth the Air Fare for the Enlightenment gained! Many Narcs often mistaken, Kind, generous & Easy Going Empaths as Stupid & Weak! Big Mistake! Big BIG Mistake! Pushed to the Limit & ‘We Can Be Quite Dangerous!’ So says the Experts… Never thought of it like that, but, yeah! 🙏🏻💛🕊🍃

@jenniferlloyd9574

4 ай бұрын

Or, in a lowered, threatening voice: "ha, ha, ha you're just too sensitive"

@Jmar1024

4 ай бұрын

​@@theirishsaint4324that's a non-apology. It's YOUR fault for being so offended My ex and current gf pull the same bs and when I call them out I'm the villain. Ugh

100% true. He denied so much that I had to tape him just to play I back when he called me a liar. And yes, not too long after I had to leave No contact - the peace I gained afterwards is priceless.

Excellent advice. Not that all narcissists will gaslight you. Some are just passive/aggressive or will walk away and leave you hanging. That's your clue to leave them. Honest relationships with them are impossible.

This has been me for years. I would always make sure I had my notebook out on phone calls. I even had a call recorder app to record the calls because I thought I was going crazy because he would deny having said awful things to me. He would swear on God that he hadn't called me names, insulted me, etc. When I sent him a screenshot of something he had messaged me, he stopped sending texts so there would be no written proof of his swearing/insults. I still took notes and recorded him. Having to keep track of his behaviour in order to confirm I wasn't imagining things exhausted me.

So TRUE! With my Ex for 17yrs. Always denied he said things, I started writing them on the calendar. He got so mad at this and tore it down!!! Go figure!

@fumarate1

2 ай бұрын

Yes they hate the truth.

He tells me to change my thought process or stop thinking all together. He's never wrong & even if he's wrong he's right.😢

Haha! That’s the truth. I was married for 19 years and got fed up with having to record every conversation it’s psychotic. It’s been 6 years of complete joy now. 😊

Really excellent description, especially about the significance of feeling like you need to record conversations. I've been there, and she's right

They also say "THAT'S IN THE PAST."

@TinySnek

6 ай бұрын

Yes and “you like to live in the past” or “I don’t hold grudges”

@vickibazter3446

5 ай бұрын

@@TinySnek Meanwhile they live their whole life in the past! They live their trauma out daily and abuse others, instead of FACING THEIR PAST. THEY ARE COWARDS.

@Freespiritedqueen

5 ай бұрын

Mine does too!!😂😂😊

@Freespiritedqueen

5 ай бұрын

​@@vickibazter3446I believe in FACING YOUR PAST. Mine does that also like some playbook, bizarre 😂

Be brave and get out! Don't be like the most of us. 😢

So I had a trauma bond with my brother who is narcissistic and I was just to close to him to see it until he started doing it to me and I found myself secretly recording our conversations when I am not someone to ever do that. This is so spot on.

My late husband used to get mad at me for something I did/didn’t do - IN HIS DREAMS! Over time, this erodes trust and respect.

Yep this is my mom’s specialty. It could be a room full of people telling her she said something and she will just say “y’all are all ganging up on me and turn herself into the victim.” I’m still not sure if she believes the lie or if she just can’t handle being wrong.

@koricastricone4604

3 ай бұрын

Yep!! That’s MY mom too!

This happens to me all the time thank you for saying this it’s how we get clarity ❤