Searching for inspiration in my journey as SUPPORT person for my daughter who has long standing AN I found this excellent (as usual) video. The huge problem is that some days the ED is so strong (and so angry with me - she tells me this) that I can be totally shut out. The angry bit is the fear the AN has that I am 'winning' a little bit too much and this scares her, so they both lash out at me. I get this...and have learned how to deal with it from my point of view. I also watched your video on the foods ED told you you hated. That also resonated with me and I will encourage her to re-listen. Yesterday the ED told her it would be easier if she ignored the extreme hunger because the pain afterwards, physical and mental, was too impossible to deal with. Restriction is easier in her book. I noted all the lovely things to self talk and would love to take that role on but during these episodes she is completely un-receptive

I hit send before I was finished! I link into a support group for careers and always tell them to watch your videos. They are enormously helpful to me so I would like to thank you so much and to also let you know that there are others in my situation who seek help in how best to supporting

I’ve been in quasi (for various reasons) for 4 years, and this is the furthest I’ve ever gotten through my extreme hunger over the last 2 months. These videos are soooo helpful, so happy to see you just posted this 🙏🏻 Extreme hunger when you are 90lbs up is HELL, but seeing the benefits of giving into the hunger is 100% worth it. But man is it hard

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing and you are so, so right: it is hard AND it is so, so worth it. Keep adding to the wins and listening to your brilliant body xx

@junebug8856

2 ай бұрын

You have no idea how much I appreciate your comment! My experience is very similar to yours even the weight part. But as I honor my hunger, even though as difficult as it is and still continues to be, I have noticed it is improving ❤

@caitlinonzia8142

Ай бұрын

⁠@@junebug8856 Did you gain weight fast while honouring your eh? I’m scared I’ll gain 10kg in a month if I truly honour my hunger... How did you deal with this?

@junebug8856

Ай бұрын

@@caitlinonzia8142 I completely understand your fear about the weight part, I had the exact same fear and I know many do. Accepting weight gain while honoring your hunger is a very hard but as mentioned it is SO WORTH IT. But please note that everybody who has gone through restriction is different and so is their body. I was in quasi for 1 1/2 years, (as in not fully honoring my hunger) only about 5 months ago did I fully commit. Honestly,I did gain a lot of weight. Please DO NOT let this deter you. This does not exactly mean that your body will be the same, BUT it is best to allow your body to heal and to be properly fed which can involve weight gain. The reason I fully committed? I no longer wanted to live my life feeling constantly hungry, constantly tired both mentally and physically thinking about food. My hunger and disordered thoughts really affected the quality of my life. I suffered from severe brain fog that even affected my driving, honoring my hunger cleared that up. What helped me? -Looking up research about extreme hunger /how it works, overshoot weight, and the benefits! Sometimes , reading other people's experiences. -having a support system! Close friends and family, who encourage you to keep going! -have comfortable clothes and no body checking -if the fear of weight gain is holding you back , maybe suggest that you work with a dietitian and a therapist who has experience with extreme hunger . (Not all do sadly) I'm sorry that this is really long, these are things that I would have told myself in the beginning of recovery. So I have much to say haha. I hope you can please honor your hunger , continuing to restrict will probably make it more difficult in the future... Hope for the best!

@caitlinonzia8142

Ай бұрын

@@junebug8856 You’re an angel, thank you so much for your encouraging words! ❤️ I’ll give it my all, I really just want to become friends with my body and be okay with who I am and how I look.

This is exactly what I need! Today I’ve eaten more yet again ! My first pint of Ice Cream as one of my afternoon snacks ! I’ve carried on eating after that dinner and more snacks and I’ve not had food for about 45 minutes and I’m considering getting yet more food ! Thank you Emily !

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing and I'm super pleased to know that this video came at a good time

Thank you Emily for this video, it increases selflove and compassion instead of the selfhate from the ED voice, and I think this is crucial in recovery.

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Thank YOU Vera and it is indeed crucial in recovery (and life beyond!) :) x

Nodding in agreement to all of this! Facing a medical issue, my current mantra is 'a healthy me is all that matters.' I have to eat and rest to be strong for surgery and recovery. Thank you, as always, Emily, for gently and confidently encouraging me to stay the course.❤

this video truly feels like a warm, relieving hug 🥺💗

@AC_2.4-10

2 ай бұрын

@MaruRaida I so agree 🤗💗

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

So pleased to hear this! :) xx

Emily I could listen to you all day - your voice is remarkable and you are so gentle with your explanations. thank you - I am 5 months into AN treatment and I am so happy to have found your platform xx

@emilyspence2961

Ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your support and I’m really pleased that you are finding my sharing helpful- this truly means the world to me! x

Great content as usual. If you want suggestions for topics about stuff I as a viewer struggeling with, it is: 1. How to handle real severe weightgain from recovery, not going to normal, but to unhealthy overweight. I really had that problem as younger, causing me to repeated and rather quick relapses with weight fluctuations of 100 punds up or down in record time (if I did not weigh myself I wouldn't believe one could gain or lose so fast). What would others like me need to hear? I believe people that are like that may need some eating training to not go from one extreme to another. This is meant for those who just do not onlly have some extreme temporary hunger, but just keep on gainging and eating like common obese persons. 2. How to handle the reactions from people that "phew, she gained some weight, now she feels better" or when you cant see a therapist or doctor anymore since "now you gained weight, bye bye, not prioritezed since there are people that weigh less". I really feel the worst during that time. The more free I get from a relapse, the more depression and su1c1de thought I get, and I wont get any help for that, since "you weigh more, and the ana ed was the main problem, bye bye, there are people having real depressions, you had ana". I am 53 years old, and have experienced this over and over again for 40 years, so its not just one thing that happened once. I feel like common ana recovery people, really struggle during recovery, and that many have a hard time with comments like "phew, now your fine" and rather many is like me, they have underlying problems that never gets handled or adressed, and which are solved by the ED person by using ED as comfort/drug. To let the ED go is then very hard. Mentally one feel much worse without it, and if one cant handle that by oneself, it may be impossible to really get free. For myself, I will not get any more help, that is clear. Especially after I got high functioning autism diagnosis. Then all other things are "due to AST" and untreatable. They try to make me believe that AST people just have to accept dysthymia, relapseding severe depression, BDD, ED (and OCD and PTSD for thos who have that) as something untreatable amongst us. Of course I live in an EU country with collapsing health care system (Sweden) and this bad treatment is partly due to that. Only the ones near death will get any sort of help. This makes many ED persons get even sicker, since they know they "arent sick enough". I feel so sad for these younger ED persons. When I was young, the care did not function this way, and now I am to old anyway to get any benefits from contacting health care. I really believe I would do better on my own, skipping illness benefit suduction.

@emilyspence2961

Ай бұрын

Hey, thank you for your support of my sharing, and for these topic suggestions. This channel is a space where I share very much from my lived experience but I have, and do, touch on some of the themes you mention here. Some I don’t feel best placed to explore here given my personal journey and experience but hope that you can take what helps from what I do share :) xx

@fornamnefternamn4869

Ай бұрын

@@emilyspence2961 Thank you for answering. :) Since I have AST (autism/asperger) I may be somewhat differ anyway from the majority. The methods you speak about seams fine. But when in care in my country, one are not allowed to go all in. Very strange. One therapist said to me my suggestion of a somewhat controlled all in, was fine, and ALL others was just ":O :O :O :O :O NOOOO WAY SHE SAID THAT YOU LIE TO YOURSELF". When I was inpatient, I had 4 months of extreme hunger, getting 1800 kcal per day (I am over 6 feet tall, and the dieticina of the place said I should eat 3500 kcal normally but the psychiatrist did not listen to that). I go down to lifethreatening low weight on a rather normal low kcal diet, so I did not gain anything from their old bed bound lady amount of food. They accused me of lying, threatened with all sorts of forcement stuff. They also let me go 5 weeks without pooping, sying laxatives is abused by me and cannot be used. 5 weeks! Now, some decades later, the doctors says it is not dangerous, and since I have chronic obstipation, no matter what I eat, its important to get it out! ED treaters just think one lies whatever one says. Maybe my all in disaster was partly due to the abusing treatment with such restricted kcal intake. Inpatient and all kind of contacts with care traumatized me. Since I am over 6 feet tall I also repeatedly heard, from psychiatrists and therapists that my weight is not as low as for she or she or whoever, and maybe I just look skinny due to my length. BMI also have to be adjusted (DOWN!) for extra long people (and UP for extra short) but they did not believe in BMI since my weight was higher than for a person looking the same but was 1 feet shorter. Can you believe this?! I find it like some kind of dream or fiction when I write, but all this, and much more, happened. A ordinary doctor at hospital, recently said to me what I experienced was pure abuse. The first time a real doctor said this to me, instead of just spit out excuses and explanations meanning I am stupid. I cried from being so confirmed. Anyway, thank you for your channel, you inspire me to once again try recover. I have severe IBS-C since long time, and tried low FODMAP, with success. Un fortunately I got a ana relapse. Now I am hoping to be able to manage the IBS-C better AND get recoer. Such shame to get relapse from all diets, when one has an illness craving diet...

@emilyspence2961

Ай бұрын

Thank you again for sharing and I am really pleased that my sharing is inspiring you in a recovery aligned direction, I really do wish you all the best with moving forwards and thank you also for your support of me and my channel (it really does mean a lot) :) I will just ask though if you could please remove from the above message any specific reference to numbers (kcals/weight etc) as I try to keep this space as safe and supportive for people in recovery as possible- thank you x

@fornamnefternamn4869

Ай бұрын

@@emilyspence2961 Yes, remove it. I really find your channel inspiring for the will to recover. Great job that help many people I guess. A great thanks to everyone that puts the energy to make channels like this.

Grateful for this as I get back to being intentional with recovery steps after having my baby boy and my hunger feels sky high! The only way forward is forward without judgment. I’ll be a better mum if I choose to eat and keep pushing for more freedom :)

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Exactly that Hayley: dropping that judgement and trusting your brilliant body. Thank you so much for your support and sharing xx

Hey Emily, hope you had a great holiday and thank you very much for yet another brilliant video. I'm so sorry and I feel so guilty as I watch your videos and make promises to myself that I will actually take the leap of faith out from this quasi I'm currently stuck in embrace actual recovery for everything, but I just get so scared that if I listen to my hunger and my body that I will spiral out of control and become unhealthy and develop a food addiction, like I'm not sure if I'm at that stage now. I've been eating A LOT more than before over the past month or so now and haven't gained any notable weight but I think this is due to forms of restriction and compensation which sneak in. It's like I feel ravenous lol and my mind is ALWAYS on food, but physically I'm not sure if I'm even hungry but I think that could be because I fill myself up on water to try suppress any physical hunger as I'm so scared of myself and my control. I just get so scared all the time, I'm literally sat here trying to do uni work but I just can't focus on anything but damn food lol, normally I would just exercise to get my mind off it and "discipline" myself but my body and legs just ache too much at the moment, I also get so scared of exercise too, I hate the pain and I hate the perfectionism I have around it. I wish I was just me a few years back, who would've just bought a big bag of toffee popcorn or something and eaten the entire thing, damn I can't remember the last time I actually had flavoured popcorn now. "Screw it, I'm gonna go to the shop right now and buy some toffee popcorn", is what I would love to say, but i'm so scared. Srry for long comment lol, I guess I was just trying to ask if you felt similar ways to food/exercise as well, like they genuinely give me so much anxiety and wish they weren't on my mind 24/7.

@shaunrockxsr.5226

2 ай бұрын

@itzspoons827, Don't feel bad, I can totally relate to every single word you just sad! In the countless years been trying to get out of that exact mindset you describe! No matter how desperately I want to! but simply not trusting myself to do so. Thinking I can somehow approach this more balanced fails every time. I'm starting to realize I have not found a single person that has truly beaten us any other way. I truly believe she is spot on with her approach! But I'm not sure how to wrap my head around it either. Definitely not an easy process! guess you gotta wake up one morning and just be so sick of living this way, it drives us too fully commit.

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Hey there, firstly thank you for your kind words about my sharing and please do not apologise at all- its good to be honest and real. I want you to know that you are not alone in this and that I relate personally to both the fear in your words here, and the feelings you express relating to food and movement. Know that is totally normal for a body that is in an energy deprived state to be really hungry and resistant to exercise (both physically and emotionally). Recovery requires us to take a leap of trust: to act in alignment with what we know we need to do, before we feel ready to do so. It is hard, really hard, but it is not impossible and it is also essential in order to be able to get to a place of ED freedom. You have to walk through the fear, march into the resistance and take rebellious action whilst your ED screams and shouts in the background (and foreground!). I send you love and strength; and encouragement to be bold, and take action

@itzspoons827

2 ай бұрын

@@emilyspence2961 tysm, this whole process would be 1000x more difficult without your support & advice!

Hi Emily, thanks again so much for your wonderful helpful advice, I was just enquiring what you would say to yourself or to someone else concerning the doubt and fear of not being able to cope with a life in the future in which you don't have to rely on the eating disorder as way to cope with external stresses and fears of life? Thanks again Emily and thanks for the hope you give. (It is no problem if you don't have the time to answer this question, I appreciate all the help you give regardless:) )

Heya Emily. Thank you for all your videos, they really help! I'm new in to the all-in and extreme hunger, and I have a whole lot of mental hunger, and I was wondering if you have any tips on how to deal with the discomfort when I am actually physically full, but mentally very hungry? Because I at the moment do just keep eating if I'm mentally hungry, but I just feel so sick, so maybe that's the wrong thing? Anyways, thank you ❤

I love your strengh and détermination against eating desorders. You remind me of Joan of Arc ( exept you are English and I am French so I should look more like her ). This combativity seems so important to me.

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Thank you so much :) I am incredibly passionate about sharing my journey/learning and agree that determination, bravery and a proactive, attack mindset are all important in recovery xx

I have a question! Is it confusing to your mind when you start to come out of extreme hunger? I’m so used to being in this, I’m actually feel anxious when think of it changing, and I’m afraid I won’t recognize that it’s changing and that I’ll just keep eating.

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Hey, thanks for the question: I remember having fears like this as well but the reality was that when my EH began to dissipate it was as clear and simple as knowing when I was finished on the loo. The fact that these worries are here simply indicates that you are not there yet and I encourage you to hold onto the fact that just as your body communicates loudly when it needs something, it also communicates clearly when it is satisfied/ready to move on. Hope this helps xx

Thanks for the video. I’ve been in recovery for over a year and a half, eating brownies, fudge cake, chocolate multiple times a day & still craving them in huge quantities. I have put on noticeable weight & I’m bigger than my pre Ed weight but still craving them and eating them in vast quantities. After 1.5yrs shouldn’t this have calmed down?🤷🏼‍♀️

Very greatfull for your content! ❤️ Did you try to 'manage' your EH in any way? I've heard a lot of advice, for example: try to eat more protein during the day, eat in a more balanced way, eat more during the day and your EH won't be as extreme during the evening, ask yourself 'how do you feel with this amount of food/what emotion do you feel?', tell yourself that tomorrow food will also be available, etc. Did you try any of those strategies? Or do you recommend something similar? Xx ❤❤❤

@emilyspence2961

2 ай бұрын

Thank you Gabriela :) Personally, I found that the only thing that actually helped me to get through EH was to ensure I was actioning my unconditional permission to eat all of the time. For me, focussing on how I was feeling/eating with more 'balance'/telling myself I could have what I want but then not actioning that, only ever led to ED and restriction sneaking back in so I realised that I had to walk head first into the fear/resistance and get honouring without condition :) x

I am now in recovery from anorexia for 9 months now. My EH is decreasing, it comes and go. It's way less important than I could experience before. Even thought, somes weeks I can have a day of EH. The day after, I wake up starving again. 2 days before also so I eat. During those days I can't stop eating and if I want to stop I has to take a pause and the days after it dissapears. Then 1 week and half after it comes back, etc... What does it mean ?

I’m scared that if I honour my hunger I’ll gain a bunch of weight in a short period of time. I’ve seen people gain 10kg in a month. Mentally I won’t be able to cope with that big of an increase in weight. Do you have some reassuring words or tips for dealing with this? Thanks in advance ❤️

Ive been leaning into my mental hunger trying to recover for weeks now but I just recently let myself eat to the amount I want and ive been binging so much to the point where I can’t breathe and I still think of food or feel extreme guilt because of the binging and end up restricting during meal times, should I continue to eat dinner with my family during meal times or wait until I’m hungry to eat? If I hold off eating I just end up looking forward to dinner and my entire day is revolved food. Do I just eat all the time? I feel so overwhelmed and stressed over food all the time

@angelfeng2958

2 ай бұрын

It’s almost like I either don’t eat or eat insane amounts there’s no in between, why can’t I just eat enough to be comfortable?

I have EH for past 2 months. This time i dont have any specific cravings or anything.But when i starterd eating i eat a huge amount.i think my EH series are gone. But suddenly i thinking about food for no reason. And i ask my self i want that or am i hungry like that. This time i cant understand my hunger. I don't know what i do. Is this normal. Should i keep eating? 😢

@Gabrielle520

2 ай бұрын

Always listen to hunger! If you’re thinking ‘’am I hungry’ you should eat. I had extreme hunger for 2 months and then my hunger became more stable for about a month and now the extreme hunger is starting again. But I honor it! Hunger signals are confusing but make it easy for yourself by eating when you’re thinking about food.🫶