I didn't use phrases like "going all the way" or anything like that growing up because i´ve been watching your videos since i was like 13. Thank you Hannah 😉

@hannahwitton

3 жыл бұрын

omggggggg generational change!! we're seeing it!! living proof!!!

@samblacklock9593

3 жыл бұрын

How disgusting

@marisophi

3 жыл бұрын

yesss years ago when i was 15 i was having conversations about these things with my friends bc of Hannahs old vids!

@567secret

3 жыл бұрын

I didn't use such phrases, but that's because I'm asexual and it was never really something that I engaged with growing up.

@mattwood1562

3 жыл бұрын

@@samblacklock9593 What a tool you are.

My boyfriend and I lost our virginities together, yet we don't consider that we did at the same time. I suffered with vaginismus, and to me I lost my virginity the day I consented to sex, even though in the end he didn't even manage to get in. That is because I was in the right headspace and if I had no condition it would have been that day. To him, it was the first time we had sex that wasn't painful for me, many months down the line. That is because it's the first time it was enjoyable for him because he didn't have to constantly worry about hurting me, which obviously ruins the fun. Virginity is so hard to define for so many people, even in a heterosexual relationship. In the end neither of us consider the day he managed to go inside as us loosing our virginities

@theyxaj

3 жыл бұрын

I really appreciate you sharing your experience!

"sexual debut" is definitely the best way to phrase it instead of "virginity", just because it makes me think of a debutantes' ball which is a funny mental image

@RamtheCowy

3 жыл бұрын

I totally agree, I think language describing experience and comfort around sexuality and personal history of it has way more utility than all the super codified wobbly strange cultural language that has no true root in anything good!

@chroniclesofavocado9929

3 жыл бұрын

Totally agree with you

"What actually is sex?" I've been asking myself the same question. It's been so long I've almost forgotten!

@zapkvr

3 жыл бұрын

You are missing nothing. If you are stressed, try walking it off. About 42km ought to do it

I guess the reason PIV is viewed differently is because of the possibility of pregnancy. As a straight teenage girl, I think my main fear around it was pregnancy, whereas everything else was “foreplay” because that risk wasn’t there and the risk felt like it would disproportionately affect me, hence why the weight of it was and I guess still is different in heterosexual encounters. That’s not to say that’s how I define it, just on the point of why we might view it differently

@wei-weichen9540

3 жыл бұрын

Very true, the risk of greater consequences

@justignoreme7725

3 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile I've from an earlier generation and the fear around sex was for me the rise of HTLV3 and GRID (Gay Related something Diseases). You would better know them as Human Immunological Virus & Aquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, and for a while we had no idea how it was being transmitted. Just think of it like Covid but we had no idea how you got it, but lots of people were suddenly dying off all sorts of odd diseases, but if you had sex with males you could get it, especially so if your were also male. If you want to learn about this period seek out a movie called "and the band played on". Also discover why a cut section of Red Ribbon is used by HIV awareness (& has been copied by numerous other campaigns with other colours). It's because when people refer to Red Tape i.e. Beuracracy, they are referring to the red ribbon that binds legal documents together. In the film we see the LGBTQ+ community fighting for drugs to treat our community, but we're being stopped from use by safety concerns. Which lead a leading HIV activist to state "I do not want my epitaph to be: He Died Of Red Tape"

As an asexual I find this a really interesting question because idk how to explain what I do/don’t want succinctly without going into too much detail e.g. when trying to date. I know I don’t want sex, and personally I think because of how I ID, I don’t see masturbation as sex (and hence don’t call it solo sex). I know I like many things that people might consider “foreplay” that doesn’t involve genitals. As soon as you’re getting turned on, going near genitals, or aiming for an orgasm *with another person involved* (i.e. not “solo sex”), I’m out, not thanks, not for me, I’ll pass. I like touching and holding and fondling and playing and kissing and cuddling and I know that might turn some people on with the expectation of more but for me it’s just a nice intimate bonding thing that is a means to an end in and of itself. And I have no idea how to express all that for example in a dating profile because I don’t want nothing but I sure don’t want people thinking we’re headed somewhere we’re not.

@alexbistagne1713

3 жыл бұрын

As a person with ace friends and who has dated an ace person, the distinction I would make is between sensual and sexual experiences. @Sam, It sounds to me like you are interested in sensual physical intimacy, but aren't interested in sexual genital-including intimacy. Hopefully, the contrast between sensual and genital-including is a good enough start at establishing reasonable expectations and boundaries with a partner. Out of curiosity, what is your opinion on the connection that can come from dancing in a Lead-Follow sort of way? or are you unfamiliar with formal partner dances?

@Sam-pm9vy

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexbistagne1713 thanks for the take on defining boundaries. Not sure I understand the relevance of the qu about dance but I’m not especially interested in dancing generally, and even less so in some kinda dancing partnership with another person (be it as leading or following). Mind… I’m also demiromantic and value my independence and personal choices/autonomy strongly so it takes a bit to want to get into any kinda working partnership I guess even though I would like to find it with someone one day 🤷🏼‍♂️

@alexbistagne1713

3 жыл бұрын

I was curious about the dancing because I encounter people in dancing spaces who make that or other distinctions. It sounds like you have the assumption that by partner dancing, I mean dancing with a specific partner for a long time, but I m talking about a kind of dancing where you are only committed to a partner for at most single song(less if something goes wrong or if the dance involves partner swapping). Anyway, sorry if I was being confusing.

@Sam-pm9vy

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexbistagne1713 oh ok, I guess maybe you mean more like casual clubbing or similar (I was imagining more formal dancing)? That just doesn’t exist in my life nor do I want it to so not something I think about much! Though I do like a ceilidh where you know what you’re doing and not dancing with any one person for long at all

@alexbistagne1713

3 жыл бұрын

Nope not clubbing either lol. It's social ballroom dancing.

"it ain't the meat, it's the motion." - The Swallows (1951)

@hannahwitton

3 жыл бұрын

noice

In a world where I work (hospital to be exact), we have this thing that's very important to us, and that is 'pain'. We evaluate pain on a daily basis, and that evaluation is so very important to everyone (the importance can hardly be put into words). What I found SO interesting is the way you defined sex - when you said how it is everything someone FEELS it is. And would you believe, that is an EXACT definition of pain! Anything that a person says is pain, is - it is pain. It might be weird, but I find this so fascinating!! It gets me thinking, are there any other weirdly defined actions that should just be defined as 'whatever you FEEL it is', and how many things would change if we started to think more like that. I don't know, but fascinating to me. Loved the video, love you, love, love, love.

@samg4965

3 жыл бұрын

I totally agree with you. I too have had that understanding about pain being subjective for a while but this video opened up to me how sex can be viewed the same way. Seems obvious now. Very interesting.

@TrueOpinion99

3 жыл бұрын

Except sex isn't a subjective feeling, it's any act between two parents that results in the exchange of genetic material for the purpose of reproduction. That's how biologists define it for literally every sexually reproducing species on planet Earth. By your logic, literally *anything* can be defined as sex if all it takes is for someone to feel like a particular act is sex. Where do you draw the line? Can hand-holding be considered sex? What about winking at a woman you see across the bar? Does accidentally bumping into someone at the store now constitute rape because the someone felt like that was sex?

@justignoreme7725

3 жыл бұрын

I wish I could get my GP to understand the difference between chronic pain & acute pain. That having osteoporosis in the back hurts so bad you will do anything to stop the pain, that stress can make pain worse and that I prefer to titrate my pain reduction, I prefer pain level 3 over zeo pain or worse disassociated/deralized on opiates.

@Aima952

3 жыл бұрын

@@TrueOpinion99 no, only PIV meets the legal definition of rape in most English speaking countries, so at most it would be categorised as sexual assault. The incident you mentioned could considered sexually motivated in some contexts too: imagine that you were in a shop isle, alone, and the least sexually appealing person you can imagine approaches you and begins to make sexual comments about you and making their sexual arousal clear to you. They then enter your personal space and brush a shoulder against one of your erogenous zones (which can be very different than just the genitals for many people) and cause an entirely unwelcome arousal response in you. If this happened without meeting the definition of GBH then sexual assault charges would be the most practical legal solution - though a good hat pin would be a good illegal solution too.

@Aima952

3 жыл бұрын

@@justignoreme7725 have you asked for a referral to the pain management team at your local hospital? I know people who have been through similar situations and the GP's are rarely experienced enough with the more diverse options. Opiate based patches or gavipentin + none opiate pills are the two most common methods I've seen.

I have vaginismus. PIV has never been something that I have ever been able to do, I've been told by my gyno that I should look into pelvic floor therapy. The cis male sexual partners that I've had did not make me feel ok about it at all. One tried to understand and ultimately respected me but then one told me I was still a virgin because I had never had PIV. It's so stupid. Virginity is stupid. I am convinced that the only reason it exist is to shame and control women.

@maiac8472

3 жыл бұрын

I also have it so I totally empathise with you! Having it is actually what made me reevaluate how I define sex, because PIV was unachievable for a long time (and still often is), it lost its place at the top of hierarchy for me!

@3DJapan

3 жыл бұрын

It's definitely not just women. Just watch movies and you'll see it mentioned a lot more around boys than girls. Heck there was even a movie called The Last American Virgin that had a male main character.

Great video! I’d love to see a poll about whether people would personally count different behaviors as sex. And it would be really cool to see whether that depends on the gender of the person like you mentioned in the video

@idgafiminfinite

3 жыл бұрын

YES that would be so interesting!

“...but this video is about BANGIN'! So now we're gonna talk about BANGIN'!” Hehe, I really love this. 😂👌

A video about the models of consent would be great !

@valerieblackwood9777

3 жыл бұрын

Agree!

@dulcierobertson7828

3 жыл бұрын

Never heard of this but it sounds interesting!

As an ace person I'm really glad you made a video on this topic! I've done some sexual activities, including some with other individuals, but often they're not considered "sex", and it's something I've spent some time thinking about myself. On the conclusion at the end of the video, my personal thoughts on sex are, instead of redefining sex to be more inclusive of what an individual considers sex, we move away from "sex" as a piece of vocabulary entirely, it's often a very nebulous and unhelpful term I find, and I feel something more like "sexual activity" would be more encompassing, and when needed, more specific terminology or phrasing can be used for specific acts. Returning to my comment on being asexual with regards to this, that's actually something I've felt in regards to the slight movement towards referring to masturbation as "self-sex", I find that idea a bit uncomfortable, and I would prefer to just see it as "sexual activity", and the specific act to be masturbation.

@michaelaregester2299

3 жыл бұрын

That's a really interesting perspective! I'm not sure if I agree or not, but I definitely see where you're coming from. There are a lot of things that fall under sex, which is why I think the term "virginity" is useless. The more I think about it the more I'm inclined to agree with you on this. Thanks for your comment, you're making me think!

@Sam-pm9vy

3 жыл бұрын

I definitely agree with this as a fellow ace, esp the bit about masturbation. I wanna engage in sensual activity, not sexual, but I feel like aces might have a different (if somewhat common) definition of what that means compared to allos

Oooh, I want to do one of those "what counts as X"-grids about sex where top left corner is "PIV is sex" and the bottom right corner is "Talking about your feelings is sex."

This video made me so happy. I’ve been used and abused in the past which means I have a higher body count that I am comfortable with but your description of sex means I’ve got a little bit of myself back ☺️

as a queer woman i’ve always found it weird how, like you said, i’ll classify certain activities as sex when done with a woman but not as sex when done with a man. i think it is about the potential for piv, like because we have this escalating scale of sex acts, it’ll “count as sex” if we’ve reached the highest level of the hierarchy that we can. it’s so weird & interesting!!!!

@deathsheadhawkmoths

Жыл бұрын

yes!!!

BANGIN'

@hannahwitton

3 жыл бұрын

BANGIN'

@mickb.8925

3 жыл бұрын

Bang bang bangity bang, I said a bang bang bangity bang. (kzread.info/dash/bejne/mY6E19WKkqvTmqw.html)

I prefer "first time" to "losing [your] virginity" and "sexual debut" as it's an activity like rock climbing, dancing and baking. You don't lose your dancing/baking/rock climbing virginity, you do the activity for the first time. Also "debut" makes it a "Big Thing" (capital letters included) which, again, isn't the case for other activities.

Love the word cloud!! ❤️ Sexual debut is a term I heard on your channel ages ago and it's totally replaced the word 'virginity' for me. Such an interesting video!

As I've gotten older, my definition for sex has only gotten wider. I think as a cis het female teen, the focus was always "Don't have sex (piv) because you don't want to get pregnant!" The fear has gone as I've gotten more in tune with my body and taken more control over my fertility, and now I think more acts are ALLOWED to count as sex without the shame and fear.

Communication! Psychophysiological, Chemical, Verbal Communication!

A video about consent would be so interesting! Saw some stats that said the majority of men view consent as something non-verbal or a lack of saying no whereas most women view it as verbal communication.

@TrueOpinion99

3 жыл бұрын

Being a guy, I'd say that indicators of consent isn't strictly limited to verbal communication given our words are only one aspect of human communication. Body language, tone of voice, and choice of clothing are three examples I can think of that may indicate consent even if the words aren't explicitly spoken. There are a few occasions where my wife dresses up in sexy clothing, uses a different tone in her voice, and carries herself in a way that shows that she wants me...but she never says this explicit words.

tw: rape On another note, I do want to point out that in so many places, rape is LEGALLY DEFINED as penetrative sex where the offender is the one doing the penetrating. If any person forces another to penetrate them without their consent, that does not fit the common legal definition of rape.

@IzzyTheInsane97

3 жыл бұрын

Except rape is not, in any way, sex. It's abuse and violence. Quote "you wouldn't hit someone with a spade and call it gardening"

@gFamWeb

3 жыл бұрын

@Christopher Grant to clarify, while female on male rape is included in my definition of "person forcing another to penetrate them", it's not the only thing that fits under that definition.

Even within hetero sex, classing only PIV as "real" sex also centres the pleasure of men - since that gets them off but generally doesn't women. Like only that matters.

@dulcierobertson7828

3 жыл бұрын

Damn, that's so true! I feel like it's mainly women and lgbt+ people who are pushing for a more inclusive definition of sex for this very reason!

@thenopedetective

3 жыл бұрын

Centers it around sex for the purpose of procreation too! I always assumed a lot of it was based in religion/traditional values though I don't have enough education about it.

@TrueOpinion99

3 жыл бұрын

In a strictly biological sense, "real sex" is the act of exchanging genetic material between two parents for the purpose of reproduction. In any other species besides humans, we'd describe encounters that don't involve an exchange of genetic material as sex-like acts, but not actual sex. Orgasm is not a necessary aspect of sex in any species, as long as genetic material is exchanged for the purposes of reproduction. So yes, by all biological metrics, PIV is "real sex" whether or not either participant gets-off in the process.

@Louisyed

3 жыл бұрын

@@TrueOpinion99 hmm maybe that argument works if you're using "sex" as a shorthand for "sexual intercourse" but it doesn't have to be understood that way, it could also include other sexual activity. That isn't even how "sex" has been understood historically as it was not only intercourse that was prohibited outside of marriage but many other types of sexual activity too. I don't think calling only intercourse "real sex" is helpful either, because what does that even mean? It's just placing higher value on intercourse, with no real reason too - "real sex" is not a dictionary term!

@zapkvr

3 жыл бұрын

@@TrueOpinion99 not correct.

I finally read the book “Come as you are” and it made me cry with happiness and opened so much about sexuality. I believe organs should be discussed more because there so much pressure and misconception about it.

Literally JUST had a whole conversation about this EXACT topic!!! Yaaaaassss! Thank you Hannah!!!! 👏👏👏👏

I understand and completely agree with the idea of sex being what you want it to be and that it can be different for everyone, but at the same time I do feel a bit uncomfortable when thinking that you might engage in sexual activity with someone, but not consider it sex, whilst the other person may consider it sex, and then you might be in someones 'list', and you might not want to be there? I dunno, it just seems a bit uncomfy if someone I don't consider to have had sex with comes to me and says 'remember when we had sex?' or something along the line. It's just really weird to think that some people might think they had sex with me when I don't think that at all.

I loved this video.. but I really just learned I don't like the word piv. I prefer it to be the initials PIV. Such a shallow takeaway but here I am.

Time to make a new crypto currency and call it Virgin Coin. Then we can all pass it on.

You are amazing, thank-you for providing this video for people who have learned, who are learning, and everything in between!

"Can you lose your virginity to an apple pie?" I feel targeted right now, and don't see why she felt the need to throw shade at me like that

@teczowykoteg8107

3 жыл бұрын

😂🤣

I found the phrase "sexual debut" absolutely hysterical because it reminded me of things like debut album or debut book and it just really made me laugh! Also I have been watching your videos for years and I have been telling my friends all about how virginity isn't real lmao, also thank you for this video, it's so interesting!!

I love how well you handled this topic Hannah. You are so well spoken it never ceases to amaze me!

@QuagmiresDooflab

3 жыл бұрын

Well spoken? Only if you like listening to Captain Kirk talk about sex.

@QuagmiresDooflab

3 жыл бұрын

@Christopher Grant great! 🙄 In that case, let me rephrase it: only if you like listening to William Shatner talk about sex.

YES to the video about the different forms of consent!! Loved the video, especially the 6 principles!

Love the definitions of the six principles. Sooo helpful. Thank you, Hannah!

when i participated in the world cloud it made me so sad that "penetration" was such a big word... because i think we ALL have that feeling that PIV is more important somehow? and i hate that it's like this... thank you for talking about it

Hannah, you should totally print out that word cloud and display it in your new office!

I had a conversation with housemates about when we all "lost our virginity" and I was like "I've only been with women, what does that even mean?!"

Thank you for talking about this! This is such an important topic!

You singing "It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it" reminded me of swing dancing. I miss being able to go dancing so much... (and am excited for when that's a possibility again!)

So happy you made this video!

This was such an excellent video - I've been watching your videos for a long time but that 2 minute summary of biological sex was fascinating! I never realised it had 4 components, all of which are flexible / have more than a binary outcome! Argh science is cool

I do like the notion that if you didn't experience pleasure it doesn't count.

@amieamie6268

3 жыл бұрын

I find it odd. I mean idealy sex is pleasure, but if one part happened to not gain pleasure from it, wouldn't it be sex then? Like I usually don't gain pleasure from giving head, yet I'd still count oral sex as sex?

@missolympiabinewski

3 жыл бұрын

@@amieamie6268 I guess I'd define pleasure broadly to include that feeling of satisfaction/joy/power (insert positive afterglow of choice) we get from making someone we care about or are just being intimate with feel good. If we aren't feeling that after then I'd be fine downgrading the experience to "not sex".

@amieamie6268

3 жыл бұрын

@@missolympiabinewski I could agree with that. If pleasure is also understood as a joyous feeling of making someone else feel great, then sex would most likely involve pleasure.

@adamgoodwin771

3 жыл бұрын

@@missolympiabinewski This is actually so illuminating for me, thank you for sharing this insight! All throughout the video I was struggling with how I would have defined "sex", but I think now that having *something* happen and then feeling that afterglow is essential.

@IzzyTheInsane97

3 жыл бұрын

A lot of ttc sex is stressful, scheduled and not pleasurable for either partner.. So basically the act of making babies isn't counted as sex? I'm entirely confused. We keep putting "sex" on a be-all-end-all pedestal as a society, yet have no idea what it actually means 😂

One of my suggestions was read out! Wasn't expecting that!

The blog hasn't been updated since April and I so want that as a poster!

I LOVED this video!! So fun and thought-provoking

Such a good video and clarifies a lot for me!

I love Hannah and this channel! This topic such an elephant in the room of sex in society and this is why we Stan Hannah!

“Where is the healthy line between questioning our feelings versus letting our feelings be what they are? I don’t know ¯\_😬_/¯ “ I definitely feel this

Currently reading "mind the gap" from your recommendation and have been talking about this with my bf (hetero long term relationship). He only sees piv as real sex but still thinks oral and hand is important for our relationship where as I see every sexual act as sex. But I do see piv as "proper" sex because of all you've said. Also thanks for the new book on my list thanks to this video😊

This was soooo useful to me! Thank you. IDEAL

My definition of sex has definitely changed over time - growing up it was definitely seen that PIV was the end goal (as well as whatever BS I read in Cosmo), but now it’s expanded to all manners of things, and things may enter and drop out of my own personal definition over time based on what ‘feels like sex’!

You're hair looks GLORIOUS my love 😍 X

Hannah, I got very excited when you started "It Ain't What You Do It's The Way That You Do It"! Any other Lindy Hoppers here who immediately wanted to start doing the Shim Sham?

Really like the 6 principles of sexual health. Last one was most interesting. If 1 party is not getting pleasure from PIV activity then this suggests you are not having sex!!!! Where as fore play where both parties are hit all 6 things could indeed count as having sex. Love that what a game changer.....

THIS VIDEO IS GREAT! Also... love the term PIV hahaha

I used to say that sex is anytime you have an orgasm with (minimum) one other person involved (or vice versa). As an asexual, I think the orgasm is what is important to me since that would be my main drive to engage in any sexual contact? Pleasure, fun, and intimacy are important but don't register as sexual to me. I've also never considered masturbating to be sexual but more like physical function one can do the same people do sports or it's doing what your body is asking for at the moment like eating when you're hungry.

@Sam-pm9vy

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! I feel the same way as an ace. To me sex involves more than one person and much as I like kissing and cuddling and fondling and other intimacy, to me none of that is really “sexual”, none of it turns me on, I don’t want to orgasm, and I don’t want anything to do with another person + genitals combined. I wanna feel safe engaging in what some might call “foreplay” while knowing there’s not the expectation to go “further”. I likewise see masturbation as more physical than sexual and hence don’t refer to it as “solo sex” for myself. It’s nice to read something that tells me I’m not alone in this, as it feels like a difficult topic to broach in dating.

@bookterror

3 жыл бұрын

@@Sam-pm9vy Yeah, and we are definitely not the only ones! The language around sex is so vague sometimes and I know so many people that have never sat down and tried to understand and dissect their feelings or what they want exactly (an orgams? physical touch? experience intimacy?).

Thanks as always for such great, educational content, Hannah💛

Loved this video! So interesting

I think this was a fabulous video! I’m in my first relationship ever with my amazing girlfriend and I think that sex is so different for everyone, what I consider sex is different from what someone else considers sex. I was actually just thinking about this the other day when I was like, “is fingering sex???” But I think that there is no definite answer now, I think it’s up to the parties involved :) thank you for this video Hannah!!!

Organical functioning between 1 or 2 or more partners Next question

That word cloud was so much fun to read 😍 playtime for adults is probably what I'd have put

Dear @Hannah Witton were is you shirt from? Its so cool! As always, great video!

THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!! I very rarely have PIV sex with my partner but we do “2nd base” acts as our main form of sex. I always find it so frustrating when people say “sex” meaning ONLY PIV. Eg in never have I ever games they’ll say “never have I ever had sex in…” and then CLARIFY that it only counts if it is PIV sex! In particular as a bi cis-female I find it SO frustrating that people don’t deem what I class as sex with my cis-male partner as sex, but if I do the exact same things with a female partner that counts all of a sudden?! Like arghhh it annoys me so much. So yes, thank you for addressing this topic! 🙌 I will 100% be sharing it in the future I am sure 😂

*TW* love the guidelines for safe sex at the end because that aligns with the belief that sexual assault is not sex.

The concept of the PIV "sexual script" is so interesting! My early experiences all followed that script pretty strictly, but at the moment I'm recovering from secondary vaginismus (i.e. I didn't used to have it). With my new/current partner, the sexual script is entirely different and although PIV is slowly entering the picture, it's far lower down on the intimacy list. I always felt like we were having sex before PIV entered the picture, even though younger me wouldn't have thought it "counted" as sex. An interesting thing to reflect on!

Yes I’ll love to see a video about consent!! Especially ways to address/talk/ask about consent with a future partner without it being awkward or formal

I used to think that Love was doing something for another person. My more recent revelation is that Love is what you do to another person, civility, kindness, physical support, emotional support, physical connection to enjoy another etc. Do kindness and goodness to others. Don't do jealousy, selfishness, self-centeredness, neglect etc.

okay but we need a link to that shirt!!!😍💞

“Or an apple pie?” I died

Thanks for this video! I've been thinking about this concept a lot lately and have definitely reframed my viewpoint on who I've had sex with, which now includes people where PIV wasn't involved

Virginity is a social construct in the same way eating dinner at a certain time is a social construct. That’s not what’s important, what’s important is you don’t have to care about it if you don’t want to. Other people are going to care about a lot of social construct that you don’t, but there are some you ought to care about. It being one isn’t what makes it important or unimportant. Edit: a word

Gunna get vulnerable for a moment hope that's all good 😂 For the last year or so me and my partner have struggled with PIV. I love him so much and it has been dragging me down so much because I have always held PIV as the primary goal when it comes to sex. I went for a colposcopy in 2019 (I think?) After I'd had an abnormal smear and my experience freaked me out...so I'm currently experiencing vaginismus. Since then either I'm too nervous to be penetrated or he's too worried about hurting me that it kinda felt we gave up for a while. This video is what I needed, because we still fool around and play and have intimate, fun moments together. I have felt for so long like I'm inadequate because I've been unable to do PIV. I can feel that starting to shift now that I'm excepting it's not just PIV sex that matter but it's soooooo hard not to beat myself up. How do you get out of the mindset though? It's so tough.

@aynilaa

3 жыл бұрын

I have vaginismus too and educating myself on all of these constructs and norms, and receiving helpful advice from experts and others who have it, really helped me to not feel inadequate. I don’t even intend on treating it anytime soon bc sex isn’t that important to me and it seems like too much effort for a sex act that I criticise anyway. instead, I am grateful that vaginismus has taught me so much about everything mentioned in the video.

Awesome!💖 Luv Ya Lotz!💖

When I had a look at the word cloud those that seemed to fascinate me more were the more "negative" leaning ones like misunderstood and vulnerability

When I was younger I thought it was funny we call PIV sex when if any other animal does it we call it mating, or we’ll at least in nature documentary’s

@TrueOpinion99

3 жыл бұрын

That's still called sex in the biological field, or breeding, or mating. They're all terms that mean the same thing.

this rlly is a 10/10 video

"I don't know I'm Asexual" I feel you sister xxxx What an incredible tool to use 💖

I love menti and the word clouds you can create with it :D

@hannahwitton

3 жыл бұрын

same!! 🤓

Sex can be ‘Healing’. As a fellow Stomate, this healing process has been the most amazing intimacy I have had…..

I always end watching a video with "love you Hannah byeee" 😅

😮😮Good work thanks 😊

This would make a great poster for your new office

Hi Hannah Vuitton. I would very much like to ask you. Are there any dating pages for people with ostomy? I have the same situation as you. Sorry for my bad english.

You should make Wall art with the word cloud!

Absolutely LOVE your super brief explanation of biological sex. I will send this to every person who uses "but we're all either BIOLOGICALLY male OR female" to be trans exclusionary on the internet 🙃

This reminded me of when I was doing a pap smear. The thing is that I have vulvodynia and vestibulodynia, so I had to inform the clinic in advance to get a longer time scheduled etc. So, before the pap smear the gynaecologist asked me a little about my conditions and what would be painful for me and so on, and then the following dialogue happened: They: "Do you have a partner?" Me: "Yes" "As in a boyfriend?" "Yes" "Do you have sex?" "Yes" "How do you manage that? Doesn't it hurt?" "We don't have vaginal sex." "Oh, wooow, what a nice and caring boyfriend you've found who agrees to that!" Yeah, wooow, my partner does the bare minimum and respects my boundaries. Golden star for him. 🙄

Circular economy virginity 😂. Great lead in to the more serious stigma convo!

I agree with Speleokeir, it's been gone out of the window for a long time with my partner, whatever your definition of it might be.

Hi Hannah, thank you for talking about this topic. I am a 21-year-old virgin who definitely struggles with shame, but at the same time I know I was not ready a couple of years ago and I feel like I am ready now 😌 Btw, could you talk about sex without condoms and when-in a relationship- you can go from sex with condoms to sex without condoms? Cause I am still a bit afraid about that even though I am planning on getting a copper IUD

is sex an action or a state of being? i am now thinking it's more the latter than the former.

Great video. Thank you for sharing to us about sex. What a fairytale story it’ll Be for you if you can get the gold play button.

I will never know for sure...

You've got a beautiful personality! I like your presentation persona-

It's uh... Cake right?

@hannahwitton

3 жыл бұрын

by the ocean

Love the intro 👏😂

i don't remember my "first time" and my friends just said yesterday 'it was three years to this day that i lost my vaginity" (PIV using hannahs term haha) and i think back to my first bf and th things we did and i dont remember the date or when or anything specific and it makes me a little sad and i wish i waited and made it more special but then i watch this and i go F that haha. Im such a hopeless romantic so i always wanted a really special first time but reality is it doesn't happen that way. Yes my bf made it special and made me feel good and treated me right but i dont remember the date or the day, i dont have a clear picture like my friends do. Part of me wishes i could go back and do it all over again but another part is like F that i learnt so much and grew so much as a person so why does it matter. Also my hymen (or however you spell it) broke when i had a laparoscopy so if we speak medically then i lost it then lol. thank you for actively breaking the stigma and talking about these things and helping me through life. I have both your books and ive watch you for years and you've helped me with your videos understand more about myself and sex and relationships and my body and ugh just evrything aha so thank you x

Loving the first aid kit rep

Hey Hannah♥

Because * p a t r i a r c h y * that really got me... Thank you Hannah for an amazing video!