*"Have you seen Uranus"* *"Uh my neck don't break like that"* Got me rolling

@lightningshark9867

4 жыл бұрын

Lol (wheeze) lol

@harroogabutagain468

4 жыл бұрын

Of all people Carson didn’t laugh, the guy that dies at every joke,

@sawyerbuss637

4 жыл бұрын

I know same. How do you see Uranus though? I can't seem to bend enough

@probes-e-minor

4 жыл бұрын

@@sawyerbuss637 .

@hoodedsweater3876

4 жыл бұрын

"Bedroom? If you insist. I mean you are pretty cute." He took my hand, I blush deeply. As we walked toward the bedroom, I pull out my bad dick. "Wow, I thought you were a lady. Well, whatever works!!!" Narrator: It didn't work. "It's okay, my surgeon is the best." "My surgeon did a good job on me. I was once a dog." Conveniently, he identifies as a dogkin. "Wow, that's quite a surprise." You know what else is surprising? He had a thirteen inch dog penis. It was red and everything, but like, as a joke. Anyways, I fucked it. My parents are really proud of him for that massive honk. There were also happy with my ability to take such a massive dog... to think I was gay before.

“jschlatt was slain by Dick” should have been my senior quote

@spicylemonz5501

4 жыл бұрын

Stop. You’re giving me Ideas

@atlas9490

4 жыл бұрын

irrelevant but im ur 69th like

@ghostlude

4 жыл бұрын

@@atlas9490 n i c e

@sotsu618

4 жыл бұрын

That will be my senior quote

@ExpandedEye-zj4ht

4 жыл бұрын

I was about to like,until i saw that pfp

Uranus is so big it casts a shadow upon the common folk

@cosmicremix311

4 жыл бұрын

The new yo mama jokes

@DunkleCheese

4 жыл бұрын

Cosmic Remix *Joe mama*

@youraveragehotdog6836

4 жыл бұрын

It's fucking saturn

@r.j.tammaro8383

4 жыл бұрын

Just like Big Lion

@sansundertale2424

4 жыл бұрын

@@youraveragehotdog6836 Saturn is so big it casts a shadow on the common folk.

I'm not sure why but the fact that the enderman is called greg just makes this funnier to me

@nintendough7171

4 жыл бұрын

I think it's because Greg is an ordinary human name thus you wouldn't expect a mystical being from another world to be called that

@gregoryman11

4 жыл бұрын

Nintendough Fact: all Greg’s are mystical beings from a another world

@twistedgreg3522

4 жыл бұрын

gregoryman11 then we’re both from another world

@4zy1

4 жыл бұрын

@@nintendough7171 finally someone who agrees that endermen aren't human seriously though that was a shit theory

@reeeeeeeeee7192

4 жыл бұрын

Gergerman

This is my first time editing for Carson, so let me know if you guys have suggestions for future videos.

@shroomerie3196

4 жыл бұрын

you did a great job!

@mystery9243

4 жыл бұрын

I feel like you did this edit job perfectly. It would be cool to have a full 10 minute video of all the intros to these videos (the weird noise and Carson's twitch link)

@thesusman6664

4 жыл бұрын

Everytime carson thinks enter a quiet "wood fired pizza" joke so it looks like he tells it to himself

@shrike618

4 жыл бұрын

Yoitsgold more like youareagoodeditor

@yuh404

4 жыл бұрын

You did amazing!!!

𝐉𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐤

@burragahardie2661

4 жыл бұрын

i had to pause the video because i was wheezing so hard i couldn't here what they where saying

@Migixkem

4 жыл бұрын

i see Xs pls someone say what it says

@gabbytimpug8399

4 жыл бұрын

Or My ass

@gabbytimpug8399

4 жыл бұрын

Or some shit

@osryionblaze8984

4 жыл бұрын

**wheeze**

rename Greg to Chad. >he's 7 foot tall >buff as fungle nuts >picks on other kids >lifts (blocks)

@realsquidinc7428

4 жыл бұрын

F U N G L E. N U T S

@miketikeYT

4 жыл бұрын

No name him tyrone cuz he cant swim and goes out at night and steals stuff

@denimdinofan9

4 жыл бұрын

@@miketikeYT racist

@sleepykody9467

4 жыл бұрын

@@denimdinofan9 yo it's a fucking joke

@saehymyang6541

4 жыл бұрын

@@miketikeYT hes also black

2:55 this laugh added 10 years to my lifespan

@maju404

4 жыл бұрын

HFNFNNDNBD that was adorable

@korialogo

4 жыл бұрын

How does everyone on this server have such a wonderful laugh?

@0mn1b0t6

4 жыл бұрын

2:56

@erghhmmayy8457

4 жыл бұрын

IT WAS SOO CUTE SJBSISAJ

@plum.phobia

4 жыл бұрын

MY HEART

"What are we, some kind of clown factory?" Yes.

@bonniefazbear1987

4 жыл бұрын

The doctor to my parents seconds before my birth

@linkly9272

4 жыл бұрын

have you ever seen a clown and hitler together in the same room? i didn't think so.

@Omar-ud1kp

4 жыл бұрын

Haha so funny

@Dysll

4 жыл бұрын

Juan Cortez Muro you are not a clown you're the entire circus

@1Kn2828

4 жыл бұрын

Perhaps

I’m very scared of Enderman, but Greg honestly seems like a cool dude I can have a cold one with

@tylermaleneko5583

4 жыл бұрын

I love your coments

@sgwrof387

4 жыл бұрын

For real, Greg is a chill dude.

@chilliadistudios

4 жыл бұрын

You can't have a cold one with Greg tho, Water is in Alcohol

@tallytwigs

4 жыл бұрын

this is cring

@croctocto

4 жыл бұрын

Cracking a cold one with the Llamas & Greg

"Carson why am I full of sin?" Jschlatt 2019

@sublunarra

4 жыл бұрын

senior quote

@autopsydoll

4 жыл бұрын

schlatt 2020

Every time I watch your videos I hear a sentence that I never thought I would ever hear in my life Example “24framesofnick is in my chat and he won’t stop saying cock”

@gluey_ministry1

4 жыл бұрын

jschlatt was slain by dick

@Herobrinexx103

4 жыл бұрын

What time is it at

Wood fired pizza? How will pizza get a job now

@huddobug18

4 жыл бұрын

wood fire bread? how bread hire?

@dwitsha

4 жыл бұрын

Wood fired Pizza? How will pizza get a job now?

@shad5812

4 жыл бұрын

wanna hear a joke? so I was sitting in the back of our car...

@lr-

4 жыл бұрын

it will search Indeed

@NicolasGarcia-fm5lv

4 жыл бұрын

Wood fired pizza? How will pizza get a job now

So I was in the backseat of my friends car and we drove past a restaurant that said “Wood Fired Pizza.” And I said, “wood fired pizza, how is pizza gonna get a job now?”

@callmecarsonsalad250

4 жыл бұрын

So are you still friends?

@schooler5372

4 жыл бұрын

Please don’t say that stuff again it’s so old, your way past the trend

@callmecarsonsalad250

4 жыл бұрын

@@schooler5372 it's not that old. Plus it's you're*

@blaizelahman5888

4 жыл бұрын

Ok “I’m a idiot but”

@schooler5372

4 жыл бұрын

KvKiivi it’s like 7 weeks old so you tell me if that ship has sailed

Me and a friend did this accidentally, we put a nametag on an enderman trying to put it on a horse and the enderman didn't disappear, it just kept teleporting around the base and at night he'd move in, and for some weird reason that no one understands, we could stare at it and it did the animation of getting angry but it would not attack. One day he just disappeared and we never saw it again :(

@Kutomi1

3 жыл бұрын

just like my dad

@soupcan

3 жыл бұрын

bruh

@ASteadyForce

3 жыл бұрын

What was it called?

If all the smplive clips were in chronological order in a playlist id be a happy man

@kingchickenwing4887

4 жыл бұрын

I really don't know why he doesn't have a playlist for them.

@scuttlerer

4 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/head/PLPMDWTWt6pvE0PheRLh87NDNZ50UGLymd

@Zavier21

4 жыл бұрын

almonds

@emmerishere7529

4 жыл бұрын

- Buckaroo - t h a n k.

@dzelkva5489

4 жыл бұрын

- Buckaroo - i love you

when you realize that all clips in this video are a few months old *pepehands*

@calebroth7495

4 жыл бұрын

VoHanxZ シ I thought I was going insane

@katiesmith4259

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, i started watching and I was so confused...

@AK-fy1iq

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe its because of the editor

@MattIsHere

4 жыл бұрын

It's Carson... what do you expect

@BrandonBeanland

4 жыл бұрын

yeah, because the background of his room is different

I could watch 100 straight hours of jschlatt and carson playing minecraft

@CarsonG1017

4 жыл бұрын

Physically unhealthy but *very* worth it

@MrTriple3D

4 жыл бұрын

@@CarsonG1017 physically impossible too

@hawkfan111

4 жыл бұрын

I could watch 100 hours of Jcshlatt being killed by D I C K

@lolhuilo7781

4 жыл бұрын

What about 100 gay hours are you homophobic little boy?

@Robotomy101

4 жыл бұрын

me fucking too they r the best duo dude

travis’ laugh clears my skin and i am fertile

@skimpskomp

4 жыл бұрын

uh oh

@lugoorstar

4 жыл бұрын

@@skimpskomp stinky

@dzelkva5489

4 жыл бұрын

fertile?

@RoRicey

4 жыл бұрын

your #1 banana bread dealer 🤰

3:16 schlatt's laugh gives me life

This title is equivalent to “We tried to tame SATAN in Minecraft”

@MamaMarcyy

4 жыл бұрын

XVRTK17 • but is satan tall black and handsome?

@bunnynobody

4 жыл бұрын

Same energy

@testsubjekts

4 жыл бұрын

herobrian

@thecountercounter9127

4 жыл бұрын

@@MamaMarcyy he very well could be, we dont truly know what satan looks like. He could have toned muscles that make him look like handsome squidward, but we dont know because we have to die to see him

@jackrose3542

4 жыл бұрын

the counter counter yeah but would you fuck him?

0:08 I love how much this noise intrigues me to visit your twitch channel

@emiliadg39

4 жыл бұрын

@@Lokeiy not poke

@jordyn1158

4 жыл бұрын

@@Lokeiy gold edited this one bro

@fulgurus9796

4 жыл бұрын

it's an enderman bro

@tdevyt

4 жыл бұрын

sounds like typical travis noise

@decyted6847

4 жыл бұрын

@@Lokeiy so does Poke usually make noises for intros?

"What are we, some kind of clown factory?" My answer: Wood fired pizza? How will pizza get a job now?

Playing 5:43 at 0.25x speed is the funniest and scariest sound I’ve heard this week.

@kaylapee7969

4 жыл бұрын

Lola the Gardevoir TFF HAHAHAHA

@rubenlourenco6669

4 жыл бұрын

Carson is talking the language of the lamas

@alexc17026

4 жыл бұрын

but 5:56 tho

@cloudsys_shenanigans

4 жыл бұрын

Why did you? XD

@cloudsys_shenanigans

4 жыл бұрын

Oh I'm sorry, I meant RAWR XD

you trying to tame an enderman is equivalent to pizza finding a job *_impossible_*

Travis laugh in the background is so wholesome 😭💕

@marisa810

4 жыл бұрын

Tasi_ Doodles especially at 2:56

@nootnoot8434

4 жыл бұрын

@@marisa810 yesssss!!!

@honkrz

4 жыл бұрын

right?!

@alysegillon255

4 жыл бұрын

travis has the best laugh ever

"& also nuts" made me laugh an upsetting amount

Me: turns quality to 1080p Carson’s face cam: no

Carson where’s my pog collection

@atomik9866

4 жыл бұрын

brother?

@lowmein9870

4 жыл бұрын

Atomik brother?!

@drakefrom2011

4 жыл бұрын

@@lowmein9870 brother?!?!

@lowmein9870

4 жыл бұрын

yuh PFP BROTHER?!?

@drakefrom2011

4 жыл бұрын

@@lowmein9870 YES!

Did you guys know that wood fired pizza? Unbelievable.

@peanutbutter_pancake

4 жыл бұрын

I know how is pizza gonna find a job now

@kyleguillartes799

4 жыл бұрын

I know right wtf

@robertcampbell3019

4 жыл бұрын

FUUUUUUCK

@Alexander-mq6xq

4 жыл бұрын

Dude like what the hell how is pizza gonna live

@sergeantsonso3490

4 жыл бұрын

how will pizza get a job now wtf

8:30 i- "shut up let me finish" "this isn't the strip club"

@bryannguien2

4 жыл бұрын

What?

@carmacksanderson3937

3 жыл бұрын

@@bryannguien2 Check the chat

11:48 Ah yes, my biases. Kim Carson, Kim Seokjin, and Sunwon

@fallinfIower

4 жыл бұрын

THE TASTE

@lilysmith7763

4 жыл бұрын

What the line up of Super M should have been 😂

@kaylam9133

4 жыл бұрын

yass seokjin

@monstaxxiv7163

4 жыл бұрын

Carson oppar 😍😍😍

@Chloe-ds6nm

4 жыл бұрын

Didn't he say seonjin? My favourite BTS member

Did u know Carson was born in 2020 that means he’s from the future **mind blown**

@senseipepez4491

4 жыл бұрын

How did you find this out?

@minionmonster2873

4 жыл бұрын

i have a boner

@robertcampbell3019

4 жыл бұрын

@@minionmonster2873 nice

@punyr5338

4 жыл бұрын

@@minionmonster2873 you guys get boners?

@quinnmilner4994

4 жыл бұрын

Can he tell us if pizza will get a new job?

"If I drink the water I won't drown* *Big Brain 100*

@CatoMinemcrideisepic

4 жыл бұрын

Cringe

@bussyxx8545

4 жыл бұрын

CATO MINE Gaming no u

@athaz3699

4 жыл бұрын

CATO MINE Gaming no u

@Am0ri

4 жыл бұрын

Yea this is big brain time

@honkinmarz1650

4 жыл бұрын

CATO MINE Gaming no u

When he said “spit on me balls” I felt that

Is it bad that I know exactly what those emotes look like just from their sounds

@lsilverblade5475

4 жыл бұрын

Harrison Ward I know I already know its the knight emote lol

carson please take my first born it is yours to have

@juliendacoolien3454

4 жыл бұрын

Yum

@rwrunning1813

4 жыл бұрын

"The first born will be yours when it is ready for you to have."

@wawawiwa___

4 жыл бұрын

The first borns always taste the best

@OGSauce

4 жыл бұрын

@@wawawiwa___ fax they're tender af

@Alexander-mq6xq

4 жыл бұрын

M e a t

Wtf there was an upload yesterday Carson are you feeling ok

@millin1144

4 жыл бұрын

Well, he has editors you know

@literaltrash5637

4 жыл бұрын

Milli N yeah I know I’m subbed to one, we just don’t really get 2 uploads within 2 days

carson’s videos are so far behind we will find the cure for cancer and he will still be making wood fire pizza jokes

Just look the Enderman in the eyes to tame them. You got to prove that you’re the dominant one.

I love how schlatt gets like 3 extra deaths pr video

When Carson uploads a video at his old house🗿

@Ilovemyfamilyandfriends-z3o

4 жыл бұрын

Bruh i just notice that .

7:46 well, you know what they say Schlatt is the master of.

@a.morphous66

4 жыл бұрын

“I am the *P V P G O D* “

On any resolution below 1080p Carson looks like a still Picture

Carson is just clowning around after he told a joke about wood being a manager

“Have you seen the planet at spawn” “But have you seen the moon walking bear Cooper” I fuck with this

11:47 I WHEEZED SO HARD LMAO

@Freshlypeeledmangos

4 жыл бұрын

I feel so bad for laughing but its too funny lmao

@Kirill-rc5ng

4 жыл бұрын

Hahahahhahaha omfg same

@longrat2472

4 жыл бұрын

I desperately need this

@paige6245

4 жыл бұрын

XHXITFG

@cjccp1303

4 жыл бұрын

yoonjin and soonwon PLEEEASEJSJD 😭😭

"I thought he was chill... I thought Greg was my man." *Altrive was slain by Zombie Pigman*

Its possible to tame an enderman using an old glitch I found idk what I did but somehow it attacked for me no commands were involved just me going to an endcity and going from creative to survival and looking at an enderman

TWO UPDLOADS IN TWO DAY HAPPINESS NOISE

5:43 Lady's and gentlemen we got him

idk why but i’m obsessed w travis’ laugh😔

carson, that’s not a pet. it’s an enderman

@jackofallsports9830

4 жыл бұрын

i had a dream about that man in your profile pic

@mentaldesolation9711

4 жыл бұрын

@@jackofallsports9830 me too, he gave mean head

Dear Carson, This is a nice video Carson, but I need to know where волк is. It’s been years since the accident in Russia and he’s been missing ever since. Theories have been appearing that warn me about how you may have волк and that makes me, along with hundreds of thousands of others, very alarmed. Please alert me immediately if you have him as I am constantly thinking about волк and have been worried since the catastrophe years ago. Sincerely, Your Neighborhood Friendly Ketamine Addict

@abiiif

4 жыл бұрын

I miss bonk

@perry.6523

4 жыл бұрын

I’m fairly new to this channel so I have no idea who this Bonk person is. Could you, if not someone else tell me?

@VerbusP

4 жыл бұрын

@@perry.6523 watch jschlatt video about cities skyline

@equaius893

4 жыл бұрын

bonk or volk?

@UltimateDurp

4 жыл бұрын

What about MeBeeb

"Y'know those three pronged back massagers, with the vibration on em" "No, I'm not a part of the one percent"

knowing jshlatts 8 year old cousin found this video is great to think about

Happy birthday carson, have a happy birth day carson. I am so happy you have a happy birth day car son

this is unhumanly, carson uploading two days in a row??? must be taking a break from watching pokimane

@kingchickenwing4887

4 жыл бұрын

What episode did the Carson watching pokimane joke come from?

Wish I could turn back time to the good old days

enderman: cant teleport from dimension to dimension. Gets stuck in boat, stuck for it's entire life

"What are we some kind of clown factory?" - Carson 2019

Uranus is baby blue, with vertical rings. That planet is clearly black with horizontal, thick rings. Yeah I get it, Uranus sounds funny haha. Know your planets Carson

@battlefieldengineer8588

4 жыл бұрын

Carl you must be fun at parties.

@abby9448

4 жыл бұрын

chill

@coopercan

4 жыл бұрын

A Skeleton named Carl and an Enderman named Greg. Do you guys know each other?

@yourfriendraiden

4 жыл бұрын

Shut the fuck up carl

@imdoingthisnowreally

4 жыл бұрын

Caaaaaaarrrrrrrlllll.... Why did you kill it? Why did you kill the fucking atmosphere?

*Callmecarson* has earned the achievement [morning wood]

You have angered Greg the almighty

Carson was live damn nobody told me when carson was going live

@garnfeld

4 жыл бұрын

Steffu bruh

A way way to tame a ender man is to get it agrssive the go to bed then it will follow you when you wake up but it will not attack unless you look at it

I love the insinuation that clowns are manufactured atop tall towers

Missing Enderman named Greg, if seen, boat.

8:46 he's wanting to give a gift with happy smile.

@god4.308

4 жыл бұрын

its death

When you look at a comment section seconds after the video is released: “THERE SEEMS TO BE NO SIGN OF INTELLIGENT LIFE ANYWHERE.”

@abby9448

4 жыл бұрын

cringe

Thank you so much Carson, Im going trough hard times, and you fill me with joy while watching your video, thanks dude

7:37 - did he turn into Hank Hill for a second?

Probably one of the best streams ive seen in a long time

Therapist: big Uranus can’t hurt you Big Uranus: 0:12

I cant believe jschlatt's family found out about his youtube through this video

@SonRob01

4 жыл бұрын

Mia Llamas I thought it was just his Little cousin the rest already knew

@Ketaminex808

4 жыл бұрын

Jschlatt was slain by dick

"uhh my neck.. don't break like dat"

Imagine being greg this meme is made by ilyas gang

as a kpop fan and carson fan, I fully support the idea to give the kpop fans dialogue to use

@atlas9490

4 жыл бұрын

guage *yEs*

@guaage

4 жыл бұрын

*yEs*

@mlplesbian

4 жыл бұрын

yes please

@Yincvns

4 жыл бұрын

Y E S

@min_says_h3110

4 жыл бұрын

Indeed

The stream this was from is honestly Carson's best SMP LIVE stream

These videos actually make me super happy

*Wood fired pizza, how will pizza get a job now*

@aaronpalma3252

4 жыл бұрын

Foxy 47 bruh

@impersivaliblibiate6335

4 жыл бұрын

STOLLLLLLLLEN

was just listening to remember me by mr de la cruz

@Summboddi

4 жыл бұрын

Get BOOMER’d

Pre Bald Carson Lore: My neck…. Dont break like that

Guys the enderman is called Greg and Carson looks like Rowley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid and he called him his best friend....

Wood fired pizza!!!! That sounds delicious

@leytonsmith1

4 жыл бұрын

Top 10 anime plot twists

@god4.308

4 жыл бұрын

Top 10 best jokes.

When you accidentally type out the entire Declaration of Independence even though you a Canadian Ok so I was sitting in the back of my car...

I saw this in a vod thank you for making it a video

I have never luaghed so hard at Minecraft in my life I love ur vids Carson plz keep up the good work

Carson getting mad at a pig man is a mood

@disdatboi2285

4 жыл бұрын

No it’s not a “mood”

@Humbus

4 жыл бұрын

Saying mood is gay

@JohnBart

4 жыл бұрын

“Mood” go away

@peanutbutter_pancake

4 жыл бұрын

Calm down lol that’s the first time I’ve said mood in months

@JohnBart

4 жыл бұрын

Crane Dont care 🖕😐🖕

4:54 “IM IN THE BACKROOMS” Fucn lol

@unsalted_cheese5758

Жыл бұрын

Did the backrooms exist back then or am i just being dumb

@pearlcommodore4772

Жыл бұрын

@@unsalted_cheese5758It did, it had a small presence online in 2019 and then it exploded in 2022

I died when jschlatt said “and nuts”

At this point Carson’s videos are deep lore for SMP Live Never knew how Greg wound up in the boat, but now I do

Enderman: Exists Carson: **Im finna go England in the 1700's on this nigga**

@CristianGarcia-pd9kh

4 жыл бұрын

Epic Gamer so funny 😐

@cornicaphobia4720

4 жыл бұрын

Its not like this joke lost popularity 2 years ago

@justinreynolds731

4 жыл бұрын

You have no comedic value

@abby9448

4 жыл бұрын

old meme

The next episode is gonna be called Return of Greg

@coopercan

4 жыл бұрын

Total Gregation.

Travis's laugh is so contagious and sweet. I adore it

2:56 *his laugh was so cute I-*

I was in class and we had to do a survey and one of my questions was do you like kick ball so I went into a group of like ten girls and said hey you like kicking balls?

You should’ve named the enderman, Dad because it always disappears

“My neck don’t break like that” I absolutely SCREAMED

Carson's channel is the physical embodiment of chaotic dude energy.