Salaams, this session really touched my heart, I am a male and was a victim of abuse, in a marriage that lasted a very short time ( 6 months) when she showed her true colors, when she even turned violent and broke a couple of my ribs, even after this i forgave and tried to get on as i was in Nikah, then she was constantly being verbally abusive, at the same time I was going through loss of my mother and also myself being diagnosed with cancer and going through cancer treatment, eventually 2 weeks before my treatment finished, I built up the strength and courage to get out of the marriage. Alhamdulillah Allah is great and showed my a way out. now in fear of getting involved in another relationship. traumatized. Allah knows best 🙏

@PB-si5zt

10 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry brother. I can't believe some sisters give us suxha bad name. May Allah cure of all Illness and protect you. It seems she was narcissistic jelous and hateful. I'm proud of you for taking the step out of such abuse. May your mother rest in peace. Allah s.w must love you so much to test you like this. I hope you find a good person to love and be with in wadud and rahma ameen

@SharkysTravels

10 ай бұрын

@@PB-si5zt Ameen , Ameen and Ameen 🤲

@stephaniecartagena1347

9 ай бұрын

Subhanollah! May Allah make all your suffering a purification for you. I have been married multiple times and ended up being abused one way or another by each. All is most wise an dmost merciful. I think he loves us so that he let's us suffer in the dunya to have us avoid th epunishment of the grave and hellfire. Don't lose hope. And if someone doesn't treat you as they should based on the Quran and Sunnah then their is no fault on you to leave. May Allah aswajal make it easy on uys and guide us towards those who love and fear Allah and will do right by us. Amin

@SharkysTravels

9 ай бұрын

@@stephaniecartagena1347 Ameen 🙏 thank you for your kind words and positive support , may Allah bless you and reward you with a pleasant life here in the Dunya and the best in the hereafter 🙏

@plantyour_seed

9 ай бұрын

عظم الله اجرك اخي في فقدان أمك اسأل الله ان يرحمها ويسكنها جنة الفردوس 🤲 أسأل الله العظيم رب العرش العظيم ان يشفيك ويعافيك ويقويك ويجبرك ويخلفك خيرا منها، ويقر عينك بزوجة طيبة وذرية طيبة 🤲 الله لا ينسى !!! سيعوضك!!! سيجبر كسرك!!!! سيفرح قلبك ان شاء الله 🤲

The mistake I made was to marry without being engaged as he wanted to rush things for Allah to give his baraka right away. He puts all his deen in the front line and I felt so safe. He prays in time, go to mosque every Friday, does omra every year, talk about deen all the time. Good character at least at the beginning, respectful at the beginning, good to his parents. He’s 15 years older than me, working in music industry and is sport agent (MMA, boxe) I always lived in Algeria and he’s Algerian born and raised in France. Both Sunni. I listened to all the advices to look for deen and manners first from sheikh like you. He was married twice second mariage with 2 young girls. His true colors was revealed after 6 months. I found out his ex wife divorced him because he cheated on her. He told me sheytan puts waswas in her mind. He is a cover narcissist. He went 3 times to jail but no one not even my family’s friend we asked him about told us that. Now I’m pregnant and I’m so sad.

Ya Al Qadeer make me among those who do Umrah this Ramadan is it's what good for me.

Thank you for calling out not to cross in front of the camera. This happens often and is distracting. Very good lecture. I wish this was available 20 years ago 😅😅😅

Shubhan'Allah. Green flags lecture would be good too.

@aliamacintyre483

9 ай бұрын

The opposite of all the red flags lol

@AS-oo4gv

3 күн бұрын

Green flags are something we already know for the most part. There is a reason why most people lecture about the red flags, harder to spot (esp when emotionally involved). But yeah, the opposite of what the red flags are lol

Jazakhallah khair sheikh this is so important!

I'm victim of this. Married someone I never met in my life. It's crazy yoo.. may Allah Azzawajal Bless us with good spouse ls. AMEEN ALLAH

Masha’Allah such wisdoms. Jazak

Perfect golden nuggets of reminders and help people have our heads screwed on. Jazak'Allah kheiran for sharing

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu Sheik. Masha Allahu Barakallah. Everything you said were all true. This is Sadakatul Jariya and may Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala bless you. Jazzakumullah khair wa Bjannatul Firdaus ya Sheik.

❤😂🎉😢😮ur lecture just shows me d reality of what’s been happening in my life lately…. Ya Shiekh., thanks ever so much. Jazahou Allah khayran

الحمد لله حاضر وجزاكم الله خيرا

thank you, excellent lecture.

Allah ya sheikh walled 🫡🔥

Yes not praying is def a red Flag . I could never marry such a Man

@copainspammeur404

11 күн бұрын

It's haram because refusing to pray is kufr for most scholars

Excellent lecture. Marriage should be an informed decision not left to your destiny.

Problems are women hitting on my husband in front of me and behind me. Women telling me not to obey my husband! The host is so right! My Dad said never go in their car or be alone with men except father or husband. Good advice video! ❤

@copainspammeur404

11 күн бұрын

Lol these women will tell you to divorce your husband and then will go to him saying "I tried to tell her that you're a great man but she didn't value you" Happened to someone close

Selamwalykum. Very important topic Jezak Allau khair

Alakum salam brother

Narcissist my brother …. I marry one, 18 years of moral abuse I suffer because of my kids now they said you bad mother because you got a job. Always humiliate me, telling me you just work for me, make fun of me etc. One of them became abusive like him . Silent treatment Stone walling They deprive you even from your own self . You ugly, you bad etc. Pain with him and now pain for divorce. He was talking to a young woman and forcing me to move to his country to bring her, and denies it to death so my kids hate me because he says to them is a lie it’s not true . 99% is the man that lies about the divorce !

its Soo important as the Ustdz Hafidhullah , says , its very important to see , the spouse you looking for to be the one who has respect for the religion and fulfills his obligations to Allah , coz the One who is sincere to fulfilling his duty to Allah , hopefully would also be faithful with ihsan to his spouse and respect their relationship . Barak Allah feek, Sheikh Hafidhullah.

Can u post the ten questions sheet on web or here so other can benefit too

Couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce living together prior to marriage is one predictor of the likelihood of divorce. A total of 57% of couples who did not cohabitate prior to marriage had a union that lasted 20 or more years, compared with just 46% who did live together before tying the knot. Gaming Managers have the highest divorce rates at #1 (surprise, surprise! 😂) Gaming service workers top the list too at #4. Do NOT marry a gamer. I repeat, do NOT marry a gamer 😂

لاتتزوج من يغضب كثيرا ... من يغضب بسرعة ...من لا يرجع من غضبه بسهولة... من كذب ولو كذبة صغيرة قبل الزواج سيعيشك في كذب اكبر ... لاتتزوج من لايصلي... لاتتزوج من لا يحترم ولا يكرم والديه...

I can confirm these are all true

@fakhriaalam5519

10 ай бұрын

Oh thank you we all were waiting for confirmation, Just kidding😂. May Allah preserve the ummah.

@aliamacintyre483

9 ай бұрын

​@@fakhriaalam5519lol

Too many people conflate being attached with love.

Assalamou anlaykum, how can I contact the shaykh please ? Barakalllah fikoum

But after what period of getting to know each other should you get married?

What if you are already married and suffering spiritually badly

@limaan8118

9 ай бұрын

Get help from an experienced Imam or Counsellor and if that doesn't help you can consider divorce or stick it out.

@monkeypolice3048

9 ай бұрын

Who's wrong, and who's right? Get advice or inform authorities be prepared to go solo for the time being. Don't jump into another relationship until everything is clear.

@sahrakhatoon645

2 ай бұрын

Study about the correct Aqeeda and take from a learned Scholar who teaches from authentic sources, from the Quran and Sunnah , of Rasoolullah Sall'Allahu Alayhi wa'Sallam , take counselling from an Islamic practicing counsellor or join the group of religious muslims at the Mosq or in your society or community ...learn and put into practice what you learn of Deen step by step ...you need to practice patience and gratitude and start by being gratitude for taking a step in learning and trying to change for the good in ourself ...try to find an activity or programme beneficial for your mental and physical health and if you have children , keep them engaged in beneficial activities and togetherness time and practicing to stay in present and not regretting for past for long ..not lingering in the past regrettable but only so as to learn the lessons and to move on .... most important of all , being dutiful to your Allah and in striving to remain steadfast to your prayers - Sallah and all the " dhikr " ...and Quran learning and to do " sullāh " ...means " doing good to others " and daily making ease for others , sharing , giving charity , and forgiveness of others shortcomings , and fortitude of the circumstances . I could go on .... we can only keep daily learning from our Deen , our Deen teaches us all .... etiquettes in every aspects of lives ...and more ..on character building ... these all affects One's spiritual welbeing ... also most important is taking care of your physical health and mental welbeing ... May Allah Subhãnahu keep you Blessed with lots of Goodness , Prosperity , Tranquility and Afiaya in all your tasks in deen , dunya wal Akhirah ... aameen ... aameen ... Allahumma aameen.

@sanji546

19 күн бұрын

My father in law was agmostic hardly knew any rules of islam

can someone plz summarise the red flags?

@adamumaria4128

4 ай бұрын

5. When someone always makes fun of others. 6. When someone isn't honest, a lier especially in big things. 7. Someone that is hot tempered or violet cuz this can lead to abuse. 8. Unacceptable jealousy. 9. Stinginess especially in men. 10. Addiction problem.

@adamumaria4128

4 ай бұрын

11. Backbiting, someone who doesn't have control over their tongues. 12. Someone that is overly suspicious. 13. Someone that doesn't have any shame. 14. Someone that is financially terrible, someone that doesn't have financial discipline 15. Someone that doesn't keep a good company, or doesn't have good friends. 16. Scary health issues, mental or spiritual or otherwise. Know that this red flags might either mean I'm out or I'll observe more and prolong the engagement so as to make an informed decision.

@adamumaria4128

4 ай бұрын

1. When someone who has a different belief (akheeda) with you. 2. Someone that has no respect for the religion. 3. Someone that isn't consistent with Sallah and doesn't mind. 4. Someone that doesn't show respect for you and your family.

Ascribe to not prescribe Barak Allahu fikum

If you are talking about this Then the whole paksitan is like this

Salis disrespect only red flag if woman not show man or should man respect woman also?

These bfs and ggs have a lot of patience and makes 1000 excuses for the wrong of the haram spouse. I pray that we can do better, us married ones. Always praying for an intact family, especially muslim families

Married to a narcissistic

Btw sectarianism is not good for the ummah. Peace🌿🤦🏻‍♀️

Arranged and forced marriages same difference.

@PB-si5zt

10 ай бұрын

Nah not same. Arranged is what they do in kdramas. Forced is what they do on married at first sight

Brother is right. India has a 1% percent divorce rate nationwide

But Shia people also pray 5 times a day they also say لا اله الا الله They only follow the prophet Mohammad sw s path, why still people call it bedaa, it’s been 5 years for me searching about Shiasm I haven’t seen anything bedaa in this religion, in every 12 imam I see words of Allah and prophet Mohammad sw, It’s better for us to search more about this religion, to bring the ummah of prophet Mohammad sw together.

@PB-si5zt

10 ай бұрын

No brother / sister. It can make u very sick. Some include magic. It's very bad please stay away from shiaism it leads to shirk

@luce3619

9 ай бұрын

Do you really think that the many ulema and shyookh that have said they have problematic views did not research in to their beliefs and etc? Did they just all wake up one day and said that Shia are problematic? They all researched and came to this conclusion. Research by asking actual scholars on the reason why they are problematic not by just reading what is available online.

I was open to listening until you described being shia as a red flag. Then you said he's secular. Which is it? Shi'a are Muslim. And we go to mosque. And we praise the Ahlul Bayt, so what if we say ya Ali? It's not shirk, we are not worshipping him...what is this nonsense. Total turn off.

@NidaZahoor

8 сағат бұрын

What he meant is that you should share same beliefs. Because otherwise you will feel conflicted all the time.

You are talking about isis but you describe shia as not Muslim which is isis mentality 😂

Shaikh while you are ientifying real issues, but unfortunately, you are not properly addressing the issues. With all due respect, you sound like a self help book. I know of a situation that i thought the topic of this talk would be helpful. After i watched the talk i decide not to share it. This kind of discussions create more problems than solutions. I cannot believe that this inclue advise for muslims that are dating. These issues need a much more thoughtful discussions and solutions. The problems are deeper and more complex than the way you handle it. Allah knows best but i think problem focused approach is not useful. Does not solve problems but exacerbate them.

@halimahshamsiddeen9649

2 ай бұрын

Sheik you did point mistakes we Muslims make I've been thru some points and Muslims men and woman been complaining of same things happened to them picking wrong kinda spouses no good. You on track but of course you can't satisfy every one.. If others haasditional points share it. No need to bash what here is useful. Thankyou sheikh...

Why some people like to give 1 hr lectures.do they like to hear themselves or talking to extremely dumb audience. No lecture should be more than 20 mins. Period. Waste of use ful time.

@PB-si5zt

10 ай бұрын

I organised my room in that time. It was a good lecture. Put it on 2x speed

@islamicbeliever1179

9 ай бұрын

Dumb audience, you became one of them, why are you here? Backbiting is a bad quality which is mentioned

@hawwa21

9 ай бұрын

I think you need to find a lecture that works for you.

@hisham-ju2wt

9 ай бұрын

​@@PB-si5zt ma sha Allah , good for you 😀

@suyini734

9 ай бұрын

😂 haven't you heard about multitasking? Do somting whilst listening to the lecture