You have an amazing heart and mind, Alan! Thank you for being transparent and for sharing your woundedness with us all . . . That parent wound is truly the worst, especially when they have no self-reflection, no growth mindset, and zero interest in healthy interpersonal dynamics. Like how did we even come from these people? 🧐

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the empathy and for the kind words. Right, are we actually related to these people? lol.

❤.. I see you.. and the wound.. wrestling. You are a blessing.. a vehicle to bring trauma out in the open. Consciousness is shifting to visibility, including much research. Your clarity, prose and willing vulnerability are a blessing. I hope in the telling you feel relief. I hear it cannot totally heal.. and I'm sorry for that.. me too. The real me needs to be reminded that the wound is real and that I'm worth having my needs met. You have been a big part of my journey. Thank you.

I don't know if you'll see this but I just wanted to let you know how deeply your sharing about how your making videos was a subconscious attempt to get your mothers attention touched me in such a healing way.I was raised to feel shame for needing my mother so much and still have unhealed wounds around this and still think that I'm bad or wrong for having this deep wound around it. Thank you....

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate the comment. Thank you for letting me know you deeply resonate with this dynamic. Thank you for valuing my work. Nice to know others can relate. Empathy to us and anyone who can relate with this shame.

@lorrainemorsch760

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I relate 100%, I have been dealing with the family dysfunction my entire life, it's so heartbreaking to never get that lovebor connection. In my case both parents are abusive , I finally nowbhave gone no contact with my family, I have tried everything. No More , that is where I am at. TYou❤

Oooh did not see this reflection coming, nor how hard it would hit home for me personally. Again, thank you so much for your vulnerability, humility, laughter (despite the pain), and thoughtful sharing.

Alan, I feel your pain. I have tried and tried and tried with my mother also. It is soul crushing pain that she can’t see me, here me, validate me, or encourage me. In fact, every time I reach out, I get the opposite of what I desperately need from her. I have given up trying with her. It is a wound that seems so unfair. You do help all of us. Thank you 🙏

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate the kind comment. Thanks for connecting with the video and thanks for letting me know my effort brings benefit.

Alan, My dad was a big-time alcoholic. AND my mother is the main a source of my trauma! And my mother refused to engage too in a book that my twin sister wrote about our childhood! Same as you! And even with millions of people seeing your videos, you still don't get your mom to respond. Same here. I watch all your videos to understand my mother. BUT my mother - she ignores everything. I am MUCH BETTER OFF as a single person than having a boyfriend. I am much happier. Wow! 170 videos!!!!! We are so lucky!!!! I am a member of your community.

I have started a channel, just a few videos, and stopped when addressing the subject of emotions and fibromyalgia. I have started and stopped five times. This led me to you! And others! I had trauma I needed to deal with!! I was ignoring it, partly with food and partly with entertainment like tv and yt, and I am learning so much from you and some others. I think I am almost to the point to complete the video, but I am really glad I took a break. I needed it!

Props to you for talking about something this important and in such an honest way. Healing truly is a lifestyle. One of the most comforting things you say in your videos “empathy to you” well I wanna say empathy to you my friend. I hope you can find comfort and peace

I know exactly what you are talking about in your videos. You have helped me so much. I told my self I can't and won't go through this anymore. So I so painful. God bless you for sharing your story. You have helped me realize what is going on with me

despite not knowing you personally, i love you and thank you for making words to go with the feelings, and making it ok to focus on attachment trauma, for me.

I love these videos. I have experienced attachment trauma in a very similar way to you. Over the years your videos have helped me so much to grieve and move on from inappropriate relationships. Hearing this today is soothing because the level of deep grief I have experienced over short term relationships has been indescribable. I’m getting better, finding peace alone and projecting less. It doesn’t feel so terrible that I haven’t been able to sustain a relationship. I can find self compassion around this. Thank you Alan ✨🌟

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

10 ай бұрын

I appreciate the meaningful comment and thank you for sharing your experience. Glad my work has been helpful for you. If you love the videos then you may also like being part of our conversations in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. You're invited to join us. www.alanrobarge.com/community

Thank you Alan for your depth and ability to communicate the root of the problem. It’s oddly comforting to know, that even someone as skilled as yourself, can’t get through to their mother even though you yearn it more than anything else. That it isn’t as easy as turning off the ability to want validation and to be seen by your parent. I’ve started the journey and struggle at times knowing that even with personal growth, it may not get my parent to the relationship that I would like to have with them. Thank you for your videos, they are extremely helpful in putting voice to attachment traumas. Please know that you’re doing more than your part in the world for those of us who want something different for ourselves and our relations.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate the comment and kind words. Thanks for connecting with these videos. This truly runs deep, doesn't it? Glad to hear the videos are helpful. Thank you for valuing my work. Also, if you like these videos, you may also like joining us in conversations around similar topics in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. I welcome you joining us: www.alanrobarge.com/community

You have been so generous and wise. Thank you SO much.

You cant turn a crumb into a cookie, Alan.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

2 жыл бұрын

well said

You are such a blessing to us all struggling with similar problems! Thank you so much for all your help and support and goodness!!!!

Hi Alan, I had a trauma bond with my mother and we had a very poor relationship, she was unable to see me for myself. I'm now in my mid 60's and my parents are still living. I realise she will not/cannot see what I'm going through/went through and I now work on myself. It took many many years to stop trying with her. My brother is her favourite (Golden boy) and he and I are estranged ever since he demanded power of attorney over my mother's finances. Anyway, I think Play Therapy would be good for ADULTS! I had 3 years' counselling some years ago and one session was playing with toys in a sandpit. I made a playground with children but in the corner was a large fiery dragon ... I think that was my mother. The children were the 4 Grandsons I would have later (plus one step-Grandson). Thanks for your videos

Love your work 🙏 love your vunerability

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the kind words and for valuing my work. Also want to share, if you haven't already heard about it, since you like this content you may also like joining in the conversations around topics like this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. You're welcome to be a part. www.alanrobarge.com/community

Music has saved my life If I wasn’t a musician I’d be dead 💀

I'm listening and it's resonating with me. When I started healing using somatic practices I could see clearly how I had used buddhist practices as bypass emotion for years. It was disappointing. Maybe this is how you had felt with using videos. Some of my buddhist friends said that my spiritual practice acted like a form of protection until I could do the healing work I am doing now. I want to view your work with videos also as a form of protection that helped you get to this place of awareness.

You are bringing it up for me so much. Relate so much but feel that I still not know how to heal and move on. Would Love for you to be my therapist! I'm lost for words and crying and alone so not sure how to move on from this, Will check out more of your videos.

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for the comment. Empathy goes out to you. And I hear you. Wishing you self-gentleness. Also, thank you for your interest in working together. To learn more about counseling visit www.alanrobarge.com/counseling

I live in Philadelphia! I know Rittenhouse Square! So cozy feeling that you were there. Are you from here?

I am suffering deeply right now. Because of attachment trauna. Im in it as gi type this. Im desprate for somw kind of relief. The thing is, is i begged him not to do this to me. Explaining i dont cope well with being dumped or ghosted. I dudnt know then it was callwd attachment trauma. But we had a very close and heavily sexual relationship for over 5 yeas. And it all came to an abrubt end this week. No warning. No communication. Just an unannounced termination. And hes living as if he never knew me. Its mind boggling. 😢 And he did the very thing i asked him not to. And i explained ut in a way that didnt sound crazy, over time. He might as well have stabbed me repeatedly. I really dont know what im gonna do.

❤

@AlanRobargeHealingTrauma

5 ай бұрын

thanks.

me+me = all I have (very little)

I don’t know if this is the video where you mentioned having the boy doll in your front seat. It’s not concerning to me in the least, unless, of course, its name is Chuckie. Then I would say, “Run like hell . . . And then run like hell again!” 😂

Lol, you have some good self awareness.

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