Sign up for Patreon to see our review of Van Helsing The London Assignment: www.patreon.com/posts/van-helsing-56991155

@theitfactorjameswheezer2852

2 жыл бұрын

I remember that I Frankenstein review where you said people with brain problems were the only people who enjoyed this movie lol

@enochthewitness719

2 жыл бұрын

@Hack The Movies, love your shows and banter. Theres a few movies i think would be interesting to review and hear your commentary on: Annihilation, and The Mist.

@Jaime13R

2 жыл бұрын

Newt is creepy af

@aborted4196

2 жыл бұрын

@Arcade Kaos I know they totally copied rental reviews it wasn't like it was Justin Silverman's idea 💡

@terry-

2 жыл бұрын

Why the video is so dark???

i'm here for the endless death glares that Crystal throws at Newt.

@_toph_

2 жыл бұрын

same 😂😂😂😂

@bENOFFICIALMASSIVE

2 жыл бұрын

Make that another same over here!

@CristianGeelen

2 жыл бұрын

I mean... He is an annoying ****...

@TheThrill007

2 жыл бұрын

Call me crazy, you would think that Crystal hates Newt 🤣🤣🤣

@benr7101

2 жыл бұрын

@@TheThrill007 this aged well

We need to get Newt a black cowboy hat so he can complete his Jim Ross cosplay.

@repomanzilla

2 жыл бұрын

Omg that's what I thought too

@scottp.548

2 жыл бұрын

It's a slobberknocker!

@TheCobradragon

2 жыл бұрын

Or Jonah Hex JK JK 🙌🏼😂

@apollolux

2 жыл бұрын

Oof. You get a like from me only because I used to watch a lot of WWF and understood that reference.

@JCIce007

2 жыл бұрын

Crystal would cosplay as Kane if she gets to set him on fire.

Newt stares directly at Crystal. “I like heels.” The whole audience - “We all know.”

Super missed Newt. Talk about tapes just isn't the same without him

What! This movie ain’t lame. It gets silly at times but I love it for that.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

It's a great action adventure movie, I don't understand the hate

This movie is a hot mess, but it sure is fun to watch. The opening black and white sequence alone is worth the price of admission. Felt like one of the Universal Monster Crossover sequels.

@thedizzyparker

2 жыл бұрын

I LOVED the black and white callback to the classics!

@Genethagenius

2 жыл бұрын

Seems like a good “so bad it’s good” movie to watch with friends. Kind of like “Showgirls”.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

I thought it was a pretty good movie

@j.p.holiday8899

2 жыл бұрын

Nah...

@checkurwalls1929

Жыл бұрын

@@j.p.holiday8899 lmao you act like that changes anybody elses opinion😂😂 you can feel that way but it makes you look so stupid to just type “nah” I know for a fact you don’t have any real life friends

Twoface Newt is the best patreon bait yet.

I absolutely LOVE this movie, no matter how much of a mess it is 😂

@Elvusmiw

2 жыл бұрын

Did you see the animated sequel

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

I really liked this movie, idg wut they're talking about

Crystal got all her facts wrong about how the vampires get killed in this movie.

@thelivingjed9676

2 жыл бұрын

I kept wanting to yell 'THEY'RE CROSSBOW BOLTS, NOT ARROWS', and the carriage was full of stakes. The bride even says, "STAKES!" just before it hits the ground. Also, it's painful watching people argue about logic in fantasy films.

@Crystalquin

2 жыл бұрын

I did ask the other two because I wasn't sure if I saw that wrong which is why tony asks to see the clip again

@kristiankapler1004

2 жыл бұрын

But your notes are usually pretty accurate. You really do seem to hate this movie's guts though.

@Crystalquin

2 жыл бұрын

@@kristiankapler1004 I usually pay more attention to movies but I was really tired that night and Newt and Tony were driving me crazier than usual so I might have taken it out on the movie. I can only stand so much stupidity in 24 hours.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

@@kristiankapler1004 She's a big hater

they missed the part where they explained that the Werewolves only need the light of the full moon once as the transformation is permanent

Only an hour thing but 2 things you guys missed, 1.Crystal the carriage that blows up was full of silver stakes not bolts 2.They say multiple times the transformation becomes permanent after a specific time period.

@bigchiefsmackaho387

2 жыл бұрын

they mention the boltsa are silver tipped and they didnt work before but they seemed to work when the carriage explodes

@theredscum4202

2 жыл бұрын

@@bigchiefsmackaho387 there's no bolts in the carriage though when it blows up. What kills the bride is the fire and stakes. Also you usually have to get a vampires heart with the silver, stake or spoon as long as it reaches their heart its fine

Crystal looks like she could get offended by her own farts!!!!

Glad Newt is ok. Prayers for continued healing. Didn't know anything was wrong. Poor guy is physically breaking down from carrying Hack The Movies all the time jk

Jeez, I'd like to apologize to Newt. I'm pretty sure I wished that on him. Sorry dude.

Welcome back Newt! Honestly I wouldnt have known something happened if you hadn't said so. You look good man. Also Crystal is feisty in this episode.

Newt I just heard from the video. Im glad you're back brother. Remember youre good enough, youre smart enough and dog gone it, people like you. 👍

The thing this movie does right is to cement Van Helsing as a proper vampire hunter. And some of the outtakes are gold.

@jacksonscott690

2 жыл бұрын

Tell that to the hammer Dracula films. Van Helsing is so cool in those movies.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

100% agree

The actor that played Dracula is married to one of the brides in real life lol the dark haired one if I remember

@HackTheMovies

2 жыл бұрын

That was a great fact! You should come on the show one day!

1:07:52 The moment in time where Crystal's soul left her body. She just looks utterly defeated by this flick.

I love this movie to death, in fact I watch it every Halloween season. It's like if a high school put on a Universal Monsters play but the budget was 100 million dollars. I cannot even express how much I love this movie. The overacting, the sketchy effects, all of it. Probably honestly watched it over 200 times now.

@kristiankapler1004

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry, 150 to 170 million dollars. My mistake.

@ed_carnby3431

2 жыл бұрын

I watch it every halloween as well.

@shanester1832

2 жыл бұрын

I was just thinking something like that. How impressive would some of the CG be if you knew 3 sophmores made it. That disintegration scene, what a triumph!!!!

@jediknightgeo

2 жыл бұрын

My condolences

@thedizzyparker

2 жыл бұрын

I think this is the best synopsis possible 😆 I love love this movie

Ill defend this movie

Jessica's notes are funny. Not used to much, not used to little. Also it seems Crystal has gotten so much more comfy doing this now. Glad newt didn't end up like Conway the machine, although that would have been sorta cool? Atleast he would have street cred. Tony is always Tony, that's not a bad thing tho.... These 4 work very well with eachother. It's officially 5he hack the movies team, Jessica was the needed 4th wheel. I'm sure it's a better work flow so Tony isn't editing everything, also sure the whole film 18 episodes in a week thing before a long commercial like a radio station plays songs is much more manageable now.

The DVD had something in the code that would brick your [OG] Xbox if it had an xecuter 2 mod chip in it

1:15 Just say no to the JAB Sorry I had to🤣

It made be a bad and cheesy movie, but damn do I love it. Fun Fact: in real life, The Actress who plays the dark haired bride is married to the Actor who played Dracula.

@bruhdon4748

2 жыл бұрын

Did they get married after the movie? Or did they already know each other before?

@Vesohag

2 жыл бұрын

@@bruhdon4748 after.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

I really liked the movie, I don't understand the hate

Great episode, I love it when you review horror movies! (this isn't what I would call an horror movie tbh, but close enough). Interestingly enough friars and priests were the pimps of medieval/renaissance Europe. They had money, fancy clothes and knew how to talk, plus they knew a little bit about medical science (what was considered medical science at the times anyway) so women went to them for counselling. We have historical trial transcripts where it turns out every women in the village was sleeping with the local priest. Btw celibacy was kind of a modern thing and not very enforced. Every priest had a wife or a woman he lived with (called the priestess)that everybody knew was his partner(and often went to her for advice instead of the priest) . After the Council of Trent things changed and became more strict, but that was in 1563 so relatively modern times

I love now Newt flips a coin now to decide what to do and think. Solid new persona

Gotta correct Newt. Hugh Jackman did the voice of Wolverine in the Origins game. Mark Hamill had done the voice of Wolverine in the X2 game (and possibly others)

I'm not really sure how to feel about Crystal freaking out when Newt started singing. On one hand I'm like "He's just singing a song from the movie. I know it's your favorite movie, but it's just a movie. Chilllllllllll yo" but then I remember how I felt when I was a kid when people would do the same thing with the stuff I was into at the time (although they were doing it to make fun of me) and I felt the EXACT same way

I enjoyed Van Helsing. I had hoped that there would be sequels. They might have gotten even better as they went along.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

Me too

I need to know more about that Japansylvania idea. Missed you Newt

I agree with Crystal, the concept seems great but the manner on how it was executed was not good

@Crystalquin

2 жыл бұрын

exactly

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

What were the problems? Idgi

watched van helsing and the mummy with Brendon Frasier so much on tv

Wait. I thought Van Helsing was the Angel Gabriel. Did I trip out and imagine that? Dracula explained it to him.

@gregevigan

2 жыл бұрын

yes

Crystal to answer the whole arrows not killing them and then ends up at the chase killing one. The way the arrows impacted the 1st bride that got killed at first was aimed at the wings, stomach and shoulder. Then when he dipped it right in holy water then begin shooting straight at her chest (specifically at the heart) and the wings. He kept missing them while firing the Crossbow. Just thought I'd help

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

She mindlessly hates the movie

Oh Hi Van Helsing -Tommy WiDracula

If I had to guess (and I'm not sure), I'd say it was the Hammer horror series that introduced the idea of Van Helsing (and his descendants) being a vampire/monster hunter.

Oh Newt you sweet summer child I’ve missed the things you say 😂😂😂

So is this Newts last episode?

Tony Jay plays the villain in the Disney Hunchback movie. That *automatically* makes it great.

@dylansmith5206

2 жыл бұрын

Tony Jay isn't even in Van Helsing. I don't get why you said that........... Unless you meant to talk about a completely different film. Also. Speaking Of Hunchback. Tony, Crystal, And Newt should really see about reviewing the Disney version of Hunchback at some point. Given how amazing and super underrated the 96 Animated film is (Tony, if you read this, trust me man, you won't regret it).

@thatguybehindtheglass

2 жыл бұрын

@@dylansmith5206 Because Tony bad mouths the Disney Hunchback movie during this review. I'd give you a time code, but I really just don't care to watch the entire review to find it.

Trisha AND Crystal in the same video! Magnifica!! 44:38

That moment when Jekyll comes-to as he's falling, and his terrified realization of what's happening... Poignant moment, friends.

Okay, it's time for some Neil Breen reviews Tony!

1:38:40 No, Dracula was Judas Iscariot in Dracula 2000. It's no less dumb, though.

Newt, I missed you being in videos! Welcome back sir. I hope you’re doing well, or at least feeling better.

Take a Shot/Drink for every “YEEEEEEEESS!” in the Review.

@Igorgetyou95

2 жыл бұрын

More like take a shot for every “I HATE...” from that chick who I forgot was there.

Alright this is the point where i have to say to get your dopamine and serotonin levels checked. And its only because i love you guys lol

Omg Newt you crack me up.I laughed when you plugged in randomly talk about games hahaha but that’s awesome lol.Definitely an enjoyable person lol.Please put hack the movies on blu ray !

Have I been chewing too much Doublemint Gum, or is Crystal in the thumbnail twice?

I think it was Hammer who started the idea of Van Helsing being a professional vampire hunter. Peter Cushing's verauon was going after Dracula from his first scene.

One of my favorite Guilty pleasures

The more Newt and Crystal fight the better 😄

man they are trying so hard to justify hating this movie. its dumb fun, like brandon fraser's the mummy

@HackTheMovies

2 жыл бұрын

I think I make it clear I don't actually hate it. I think I even say that...it is pretty lame though.

@theitfactorjameswheezer2852

2 жыл бұрын

@@HackTheMovies not as lame as Swamp Zombies 2

I watched this movie SO many times in 9th grade and I still love it to this day-except the Frankenstein monster.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

There's so many people in the comments that really liked the movie, you're not alone. I don't understand the hate???

I love that these New Jersey folk say "werewoof". It's very endearing.

Do "The Monster Squad"

Hey, how did you guys do the part where there were two Tonys towards the end of the video? (When second Tony is talking about McFarland Spawn figs)

Not gonna lie, I really like Van Helsing.. its stupid cheese fun! Also, I have the little busts that came with the original movies too!

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

It was a good movie, I don't get the haters

This was the best movie ever made and it’s trailer released on the superbowl where Janet Jackson had her nip slip

26:03 Um, ackshully.... "Rewind" is an anachronism and refers to the act of winding magnetic tape in reverse in order to repeat the experience of an audio or video production. we don't need to be splitting hairs over "rewound" and "rewinded". It should be "reverse" or "back-up". Crystal's glasses are pretty.

This film is literally every single special effect marvel reuses to death. Stop lying to yourselves this film slaps harder than daddy.

@GamePlayMetal

2 жыл бұрын

Mcu is (mostly) garbage, too.

The movie isn't great, but it's fun in my opinion. The video game however is waaaay better. I was 14 when my sister took me to see it. It's a silly blockbuster with special effects. It does have some good stuff in it. Just not enough. It's a guilty pleasure in my book. If I had a choice to either watch this or Wolverine Origins. I'm choosing this.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

It's a good movie, I don't get the hate

I like how all of them are experts on movies and cgi. Wow sooo good. Also newt has been to Transylvania say what?

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

lol

I def had fun with that movie in my childhood, but now I’m afraid to check it, still this movie has most accurate Shelly’s Frankenstein.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

It's a good movie, I don't get the hate???

They did have Faramir playing "Q" in this film so more LOTR connections *insert maniacal laughter here* ;)

Where did Crystal get those eye glasses? I really like them. I need new frames and those look great.

@Crystalquin

2 жыл бұрын

I'm addicted to eyebuydirect I have tons of different pairs!

Missed opportunity to get Newt in a Phantom of the Opera mask

You guys ever going to do people under the stairs?

1:17 there’s like 2-3 faces made in this one second and each one of them is incredible.

“I’m going to paralyze the other side of your face.”

Hey i love this dumb movie

Crystal is super angry excited lol

I don’t like angry crystal. It’s unsettling lol

@Crystalquin

2 жыл бұрын

Try feeling that way. It's exhausting

Wasnt it revealed by Dracula that Van Helsing is actually the angel Gabriel?

@gregevigan

2 жыл бұрын

yes

Glad to see Newt back. I would like you guys to review 1984 Dune. I am sure Newt will have a cool story from when he was working as a projectionist.

Yo that beat in the beginning was dope asf 🔥

The Tom Cruise version of the Mummy or Van Helsing, which attempt at bringing back the universal monsters botched it more? 🤔

@Thecatdrums3

2 жыл бұрын

Facts

@spideyfan1990

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve seen both in theaters over the years. At least with this, I remember enjoying “q” and Kate Beckensale

@shanester1832

2 жыл бұрын

Definitely the Cruise Mummy. This at least has fun stuff and is a cool general idea. The Mummy was just a drag. "Ooh the Creature's hand!" That was the peak moment of that movie for me, 2 seconds of a taxidermied hand.

Until the Animated CastleVania series came out, I had Van Helsing pegged as the closest thing we'd get to a CastleVania movie. Was the animated Van Helsing ok? I haven't seen it yet.

I always thought Dracula looked like Baraka from Mortal Kombat lol.

Rhona Mitra WAS Lara Croft, she was the first model to portray the character in promo for the first game. DO your research,

@rubberghost8566

2 жыл бұрын

Nathalie Cook was first, Rhona second.

@jesseslack2089

2 жыл бұрын

@@rubberghost8566 She was the first that I remember, and yes Rhona did as well but that was after.

@bruceleeds7988

2 жыл бұрын

yeah she was second but DEFINITELY the best one and the one that was able to sustain a lucrative career off it

At least the game was fun. As someone who loves all of the DMC games it was neat to play.

DAMNIT CRYSTAL!! STOP HOGGING ALL THE GORGEOUS AND RAD AND AWESOME FOR YOURSELF!

Well dang guys I liked this movie

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

A lot of people did, they have an unpopular view. I don't understand the hate???

@wfkernea

2 жыл бұрын

@@worldserpent731 yes same here I think the movie was pretty good

Van Helsing came out around the same time as The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It's one of those twin films, where 2 similar movies come out around the same time, in this case it was a coincidence, but they're both about famous literary/horror characters coming together, and they both have a Jekyll And Hyde character who's like the hulk.

@mr.exposition

2 жыл бұрын

I always thought they were connected because of the giant Mr Hyde lol

How have you gone this long without making an episode about Evil Dead haha

Whos bob burns who got all them props?

yes, the movie is jank but i, and apparently a ton of other people, love it. that's the mark of true fandom: to be able to love something, even knowing how bad it is. kind of like drax's message to mantis.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

It's a fun action adventure movie

His face fell off. They stitched him up well. No scars.

What’s funny about the ending of the video? Where if you show your kid this movie. They will like it. In 2004, I was 7 or 8 when I saw it. My dad bought the movie. We watched the movie one night up to part where the brother starts tearing his skin off on the wall and my dad stopped the movie and said it was too scary for my sisters😂 but then we finished the movie the next night and it was fine and didn’t affect us at all. I remembered it being enjoyable because I was a kid. Now as an adult I enjoy it but I notice the CGI sticks out and seems outdated. That early 2000s CGI blew my mind when I was kid but even I knew it was done in a computer at the time.

Your yelling is hurting my face hahaha

I might be in the minority but I actually enjoyed this movie I know it's not perfect but it was pretty good for it's time

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

Look in the comment section, you're apart of the majority that liked it. There's a lot of weird haters for it

@bloodprince86

2 жыл бұрын

@@worldserpent731 I agree 100% with you good sir

This movie is simply fun. And it has some cool sequences and effects. Could have been better? Sure. But I don't think it was even bad.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

A lot of people in the comment section like it, there's not a lot of haters... Just a few and I think they like to jump on the bandwagon to feel special

@naylimsanchez3864

8 ай бұрын

​@@worldserpent731For real lol. This movie is amazing. It's a world where vampires and werewolves exist ffs, yet people want it to be realistic somehow 😂.

Seems to be Newt's last episode, what happened?

@HackTheMovies

2 жыл бұрын

He got fired.

@MrDink-po9hr

2 жыл бұрын

He's not doing anything related to ScreenWave because he was the cause of the plagiarism controversy regarding last year's Monster Madness.

HD did not do this movie any favors as me and my dad found out when watching it on... either Starz or HBO, like the last ten minutes of "Children of The Corn 3". (That's a film that's gotta be covered on here) The effects were bad already, but they were ten times worse when watching it in 1080p. XD

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

What? You're crazy

Its Monday and you know what that means

I thought that this was a fairly good film. It has flaws, mainly that they tried to cram way too much (kind of like Green Lantern) into its run time, instead of building over several films.

@worldserpent731

2 жыл бұрын

There's a lot of people who liked it

Newt is the best part of hack the movies

@fwobebe5164

2 жыл бұрын

Hack the Newt

@blackjohnny9570

2 жыл бұрын

right he's amazingly annoying in a good way

@greenbudzzz

2 жыл бұрын

Yuck

@penilewrinkle69240

2 жыл бұрын

Second only to Tony

@115spt2

2 жыл бұрын

To bad he left months ago

1. The vampire in the Subspecies movies was called Radu. 2. List of Subspecies movies: Subspecies (1991) Bloodstone: Subspecies 2 (1993) Bloodlust: Subspecies 3 (1994) Vampire Journals (1997) [This was a spin-off of Subspecies & therefore not technically a sequel] Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm (1998)

1:14 Tony gets an early scare from newt. 1:26 Tony reminds Newt and Crystal about their werewolf problem. Me: "but Tony if you want to solve that then it's a simple solution just give them a silver bullet some Coors Light." Compared to other monster movies of the current year, Van Helsing still sticks out as one of the best ways to do a proper crossover film featuring some of the universal monsters, outside of Monster Squad of course. In my opinion I still love Van Helsing of how they made him the younger brother to Abraham Van Helsing but it turns out that he's really the archangel Gabriel, the left hand of God, and that this film despite his quirky CGI, despite some of the acting that Tony will say it has, outside of Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale, I still love this movie for what it was back in 2004.