Valentine's Day Sucks! | Your Mom's House Ep. 695
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HAPPY VALENTIME’S DAY!! On this week’s episode of YMH, Tom Segura and Christina P give their best advice for surviving Valentine’ Day, Tom responds to some listeners about where he actually came on his tour, the mommies give an update on their eye mask revelation, they take a look at some tramp stamps that give Christina a run for her money, and they discuss one of Top Dog’s truest loves: t*ts. They watch a cool update video from Unk Shine, whose camera is, of course, not facing the right way, and a girl showing off some awesome farts!
tomsegura.com/tour
christinaponline.com/tour-dates
store.ymhstudios.com/
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00:00:00 - Intro - Valentine’s Day
00:02:55 - Opening Clip: Unk Shine Update
00:04:42 - John Deere
00:06:50 - Fake Poor People
00:13:47 - Where Did Tom Come?
00:19:53 - Tom’s Stalker Story
00:25:09 - Tom Saved A Girl
00:29:19 - Valentine’s Day Tips
00:35:28 - Pee Debate
00:38:52 - Bad Tramp Stamps
00:58:41 - Eye Mask Update
01:05:09 - Top Dog Loved Tits
01:17:52 - Slut Talk
01:24:52 - Fart Girl Videos
01:26:23 - Closing Song - "The Big T*tted Animal Song" by Mathew Douglas
Пікірлер: 1 600
As a Farmer listening to this in my tractor. I felt accepted. My wranglers are high and tight today. Yeehaw
@Yongmula29
Жыл бұрын
W
@slapjazeke
Жыл бұрын
Rock on, Farmer Boy!!
@coolbrogoodstory7955
11 ай бұрын
Y’all farmers have it rough don’t ya lol
@coolbrogoodstory7955
11 ай бұрын
It’s a joke imo, y’all have it so bad don’t ya?
I want to talk about Hawaii.
@fufu4420
Жыл бұрын
Can we please talk about Hawaii?
@cerealboxtoys
Жыл бұрын
Please can we talk about hawaii now😂
@AaronJ9610
Жыл бұрын
It was indescribable
@in_the_building1
Жыл бұрын
Lmao
@NaturalL0G
Жыл бұрын
Am I ret&rded?
36:07 I laughed to hard when he called her out “ here comes the psychology degree “ lmfao
@OhGodWhatIsThisAah
Жыл бұрын
yeah rich words from mister "I've read six or seven books. "
@scotty4473
Жыл бұрын
Borderline awkward but hysterical and I'm here for it
@Sam-vs5kg
Жыл бұрын
When Bill was on ymh and responded with "yea, I've been watching football for 30 years doesn't mean I should be somebody's coach".
@mattnara4917
Жыл бұрын
Happy to be the 69th like on this post but also legitimately love that Tom called her out for that degree bs 😂
@EtopiaCA
Жыл бұрын
@@OhGodWhatIsThisAah The difference is that Todd doesn't pretend to be something he isn't.
When they were talking about Toms weird friend I couldn’t stop laughing lol. “We should’ve gone full metal jacket on that kid”. 😂😂
“Video games is nerdy and it dries up my vagina” “Two lightsabers as a tattoo?? Wow that’s actually really cool” -TikTokTina
@maybeaspider3456
Жыл бұрын
she thinks Henry Cavill is a dork for assembling his gaming computer but never misses an opportunity to remind everyone that she's a Los Angeles goth from the eastern european "tribe"
@Ambarian
Жыл бұрын
As long as it’s not a lightsaber pin on your Starbucks apron
@theflyingdutchman7969
Жыл бұрын
Christina has never been known for making sense.
@shiiswii4136
Жыл бұрын
@@theflyingdutchman7969 facts, we love her for different reasons and that's ok
I love how tom made a unique voice for each son
@EtopiaCA
Жыл бұрын
I wish he'd write down a bunch of the stories and just reenact them on a podcast at some point.
@McCarthyJohn100
Жыл бұрын
For sure, he should make an animated show like Burr's and do a bunch of the voices. It would be Amaze
@TheCupiedoll
Жыл бұрын
Why does Julian have a foreign accent?
@levigoldsteinbergowitz7391
Жыл бұрын
@@TheCupiedoll all children
@scottcooper6644
Жыл бұрын
what time is his kido stories? theyre my favourite
Tom talking about his kids always gets me, feels very much like topdog spirit was past down in a way
@stigotracy9321
Жыл бұрын
Passed down indeed
@cameronroberts5461
Жыл бұрын
Remember when I barfed?
@austinbuss840
Жыл бұрын
😊
@clevermissfox
Жыл бұрын
@@stigotracy9321no PAST down… sigh. The education system has failed as evidenced in every YT comment section .
@gTr4yr4y
Жыл бұрын
@@clevermissfox how do you have 518 comments on this channel alone
One of my favorite things is Nadav excitedly grinning while Enny looks on in disapproval
Would be dope to get Potter back for a catch-up ep, ymh royalty!
@kylemitchell5877
Жыл бұрын
was just thinking the same this am
@Moroboshisan
Жыл бұрын
I might come out from under the oven for that.
@nickinskeep
Жыл бұрын
We need the roach
Booth Boys! I’m loving the new multi-clip intros! Little changes like this really drive the production forward! Be sure to ask for a raise!
Man. I didn’t know how much I needed a good old fashion no guest episode. Thanks, Chomos!!!
I love it when they have these fights. It's absolutely hilarious watching Christian get mad, and Tom is just pouring gas on the fire.
I hope we get a reaction out of Tina from that new goated two bears pod
@cerealboxtoys
Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂 DP bros
@sentientcardboarddumpster7900
Жыл бұрын
I bet both these podcasts were recorded in late December 😂
@eddiefury
Жыл бұрын
Prob the best 2B1C ep ever
@Mae__Day1
Жыл бұрын
@Northsidekm Spazz what was your tweet
@Rosskles
Жыл бұрын
@Northsidekm Spazz When she was showing off her position?
I miss Potter on the show. I'm so happy for his success though. It would be great if he could make an appearance on a future show though.
@markbisson6166
Жыл бұрын
I used to watch his pod every Tuesday when the ymh booth boys were in it. It’s just not the same anymore 😢
@toonce101
Жыл бұрын
I love the episodes with Sara Weinshenk and Kim Congdon
I love it when Christina acts like she's never interacted with her husband at home. Like his routines and functions are something she learns about on the pod. Amazing.
Tom’s impression of his sons’ voices sends me every time
Who needs a valentine when you got a Delta White mousepad
@EtopiaCA
Жыл бұрын
Mmmmm ohhh fuck yea
@dmanm85
Жыл бұрын
Lol nice
@richardcharles9349
Жыл бұрын
GREAT throwback
@grimandbilly005
Жыл бұрын
OHHHH FUUUCCCCCCKKKKK YESSSSSS
@likwidmagik
Жыл бұрын
I AM A FUUUUCKIIIIIING JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Y'all were gazing at each other extra romantically this episode 💘
Nothing better than when they get onto even semi-serious topics and explore with a degree of depth and then the background paintings just bring it right back to home base
Tom admitting he's not a size king when talking abouts breasts was a real break through in this weeks counseling session
@hunterbidensvaxmandates
Жыл бұрын
Here, take this necklace
Much love mommies valentines day hit hard this year. If you have kids hug them love them.
As a farmer, with family roots in Caterpillar and John Deere, nobody has money for that. Tom thinks he's being poor but he's really flexing.
@BenDover-qo7ul
Жыл бұрын
My thoughts exactly. We have a 1980 Ford we paid $4000 for like 7 years ago
@akpolack
Жыл бұрын
Yup, if it’s green and/or yellow it’s gonna cost you extra.
@trappedintimesurroundedbye5477
Жыл бұрын
it's a joke
@lordfordification
Жыл бұрын
@@trappedintimesurroundedbye5477 yes, it's a poorly thought out joke from one of the top comedians in the world. I'm not mad at him, I'm just disappointed he isn't more informed so that he can make better jokes.
@daynelson9865
Жыл бұрын
@@lordfordification it wasnt that serious
The fact that tom’s dad called him buddy and now he calls his son pal is nice😌
If I ever see Tommy Buns on a flight and see him go to the bathroom, you better believe I’m gonna stand at the door and recite RPC quotes to him.
@SEEYAIAYE
Жыл бұрын
put on your best R word voice and yell NEXT STOP, BROWN TALK
@K-A5
Жыл бұрын
And make sure to shout at him in your best black guy voice! Hey yuh!!
@moneybaggz910
Жыл бұрын
Nice try, He doesn’t fly commercial like some poor.
@calebnorman4844
Жыл бұрын
@@moneybaggz910 who said I was flying commercial? 😎 JK, I’m a poor
@nealallsup1834
Жыл бұрын
I hope that happens 😂 better yet, I would peak in life if it was u me and another random mommy doing that shit 😂😂
So happy they finally addressed Unc Shine's bucket and a mop videos
@Wogunder66
Жыл бұрын
I'm excited for his next showing of tech illiteracy.
Tom's caring adamance on doing whatever you need to do to sleep better is so sweet and wholesome... I bet G sleeps great knowing where all the bodies are too.
Tom is in pirate ship mode. He realizes he can’t be canceled anymore. We would all support him no matter what. It’s getting edgier than in the last few years. Back in the non video YMH days Tom would say whatever he wanted. Very fun!
Christina fawning over tom while hes saying some crazy shit is the kinda relationship i strive for.
I want to talk about Adriana Chechik.
@CCitis
Жыл бұрын
Give it 4 weeks of backlog
Tom's wearing John Deere and talkin about Dolly... he's gone full Texas y'all. Ah tell you whhut!
@ronmellen-stier1081
Жыл бұрын
Ya honor… ya honor, no objection.
@mrs.h2725
Жыл бұрын
Dolly is TN not TX. They’re not a part of The South either, they’re their own thang 😂
@amandamadigan8469
Жыл бұрын
Same thoughts here
@dansbike1
Жыл бұрын
Illinois plus Tennessee = Texas?
@DavidKing-sx3ll
Жыл бұрын
He didn’t say they are part of the south….
I am fairly new to the show, but I am fully convinced the world would be perfect if everyone experienced the joy of the dude laughing in the background.
Man I legit can't listen to this podcast if Christina isn't there for it 😅 Tom's one of my favorite comedians but their rapport is the funniest thing ever.
That “HEY QWISTINE” 😂
I love it when a couple agrees on how shitty of a holiday Valentine’s Day is. 😂👍
@SAHtoshiDude
Жыл бұрын
Half priced candy day today!
@brandonball5971
Жыл бұрын
Lmao wife and I are the same too.
@samiralhayid
Жыл бұрын
Its valentime
@Garblegox
Жыл бұрын
I never even realized till Tina said it, but yeah it's gotta suck for women that society decided for you which day you have to put out for your man. The most ineffective way to have fun, is to force yourself to have fun.
@Aven9er
Жыл бұрын
yet xtine still gets mad if tim doesn't do the bare minimum. ruhtarded
Tina, I also used to he TERRIFIED of throwing up or being near anyone else who was throwing up. Then I started doing heroin and fentanyl which drastically reduced my appetite to such a degree that I would wake up starving and wanting to dry heave, then smokin weed on such an empty stomach would make me gag and puke up the tiny bits of whatever might be left in me. After throwing up for so many days/years in a row that I have less teeth than a cool guy, I now have *zero* reaction whatsoever towards vomit :) feel free to mimic my experience for yourself mommy!
@josef2012
Жыл бұрын
Cool Guy confirmed 🎸🎶
Real story, all I ever wanted was a Tom segura Christina P. type of ralationship, instead I got a Bobby Lee Kalayla relationship of my own. Happy Valentimes day jeans
@LILLINKID
Жыл бұрын
Lmao I’m sorry for you .
@congra5580
Жыл бұрын
Found Brenda
@retroliftsprs
Жыл бұрын
What'd up with Bobby Lee's relationship?
Glad to see the Austin influence working on Tom. Remember the bit making fun of thge people talking about the weather? Now Tom says you should talk about the weather more and its underrated haha
@EtopiaCA
Жыл бұрын
They're making fun of small talk, not talking about the weather. You think a dude that pops a boner for thunderstorms hates weather talk?
@SEEYAIAYE
Жыл бұрын
All it took for him to appreciate a good thunderstorm was to move to somewhere that isn't sunny and warm 363 days of the year.
I’m pretty sure Tom going to get 40,000 Pairs of jeans in October😂
It's only right to start the Valentine's Day episode with Unc Shine
Christina, the wife loved the lipstick, the magnet is revolutionary. Then we tested it like that porn lady on the christmas special. The white did not ruin the red 😂
Yo Tom looks so fit that they need to change “”two bears one cave” to “ the bald beauty and the drunk beast” 😂😂😂😭
@nazarsoroka23
Жыл бұрын
alcohol bear might be a better fit.
Nadav's laugh at 42:35 is effin' EPIC
Christina and Tom are my favorite sarcastic trolling couple.....like, they are a match made in heaven!
@LocChicago5
Жыл бұрын
I dunno I think Tom and bert krieshner are my favorite couple ..... Tom just sits there and thinks how can I throw him off blah blah blah hey bert want some candy? Huh what ok thanks Tom! Wait what was I talking about? Inside Tom's head good Job Tom we confused him 😀
@docmccoy9813
Жыл бұрын
A match made in the toilet, Christina PEE and ThomASS Segura
Listening to Christine during the intro music pretty much convinces me that those are the exact same sounds she makes when she and Tom make love.
Is it just me or is Tom turning himself into hard rock Nick???
@isaaccutlip5815
Жыл бұрын
He's using his manscape too much
Christina saying "thank you" at 1:05:04 made me cry laughing XD
Tom shows up repping the lamborghini of tractors and the joke still somehow lands haha
@korykompelien9306
Жыл бұрын
Funny fun fact, Lamborghini was originally a brand of tractor before the company moved into producing performance cars.
@SEEYAIAYE
Жыл бұрын
@@korykompelien9306 Yeah my old boss had a grey Lamborghini tractor, a coworker pissed on the tyre just so he could truly say he's pissed on a Lambo.
Tom's laugh at 5:05 sounded very similar to the Memphis Strangler's laugh 😅
@xtravert2012
Жыл бұрын
Hold up, there was a Memphis Stranger?! Living here, I have never heard about that
@lesley4917
Жыл бұрын
@xtravert2012 oh! He's a regular comedian on Kill Tony, William Montgomery. That's one of his nicknames 😅
@faceplant4378
Жыл бұрын
The vanilla gorilla.
@Z-pizzle23
Жыл бұрын
The bid red machine!
Can't wait for the first Wednesday of October to wear some jorts
Enny's reaction at 1:15:31 has be absolutely rolling lmao
I’m so glad that YMH finally caught up to Unk Shine’s mop arc.
@robertchampagne6735
Жыл бұрын
He lives in a shelter but thinks he famous
Look at Enny rocking that Chris Gaines t-shirt!
@Eddie_fn_g
Жыл бұрын
Chris Gaines: Mindfreak
First Wednesday of October this year Let’s all post our new Jeans on Jeans-Day!!! 👖 🍻 🙌
@richardcharles9349
Жыл бұрын
Sober jean-tober
Tom's best episode never off hitting some outfield shots
Tom-Talk about tractors proceeded to drink his Starbucks 😂
I hope Tom got to take that trip to blowey town, he earned it.
@roseonmyarm8056
Жыл бұрын
We all know he got scrumtown by the shaved face Tina said it herself shaved face and its scrum time
That comedian Tom is talking about that pretends he's an average joe making an average wage is definitely Theo 😂.And that annoys me
@ITrustTyler
Жыл бұрын
It could be the Blue Collar Comedy bros
@tangybuttfrogfpv8772
Жыл бұрын
I've been a fan of theo long enough to see through his act. He's playing a character like dice clay or Larry the cable guy. He's definitely talking about theo
@Rygar91
Жыл бұрын
Santino too, hes always bragging hes down to earth and not "Hollywood" at all. Yet exclusively drives $200,000+ sports cars and posts about it often...
@utlonghorn86
Жыл бұрын
Pretty sure he's talking about Larry the cable guy. His voice isn't even his.
@briankeane5782
Жыл бұрын
@@utlonghorn86 well whos fuckin voice is it then ?....his voice. Think hedburg always sounded like hedburg ?
I was laughing constantly in the grocery store this morning thinking back to that clip. Just hearing it repeat in my head, "Ya know what make me feel good---" lmao
You guys remind so much of my parents everytime I tune in it’s like hanging out after dinner
Haha an actual fight on camera, perfect for the valentine's day episode I love this. DIVORCE! DIVORCE!!
@JunkBondTrader
Жыл бұрын
haha just started... Can't wait lol. They're both in a great mood so far xD
Hard Rock Tim looking FILLED IN 😅
6:48 shots fired at Theo Von lol
Mathew Davis made a master piece.
Christina calling Valentine’s Day “Valentimes Day” is proper trailer trash and I’m here for it 😍 Edit: HOLY SHIT TOM DID IT TOO 😍
@tomgitt5749
Жыл бұрын
You must be new
@samdavis456
Жыл бұрын
@@tomgitt5749 you must be new to jokes
@tomgitt5749
Жыл бұрын
@@samdavis456 classic
@samdavis456
Жыл бұрын
@@tomgitt5749 I’m just talking shit I am new. Gotta love a community who still says valentimes day tho
@RolandSpecialSauce
Жыл бұрын
@@samdavis456 Tim and Tina say a lot of stuff wrong on purpose.
I want a marriage like Tim and Christine's 😆
Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the cable guy lmao @ 6:35
Love! The “weather is underrated” part lol. I remember when you first came to Tx it was kind of a funny bit as far as small talk here in Tx. Thanks for the content guys. It’s part of my daily regimen now. ❤❤
I really want them to have Nadav’s dad on one day lol that would be epic 😂 also y’all should do it in a live show and have me as an audience member but I don’t want them to ever show my face. I just want the live stream just here a random far back laughing 😂😂😂
Never thought I’d see Tom in a John Deere hoodie 😂😂
I Love You Guys! Tears In My Eyes Laughing When Tom Came To His Realization Story. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😅
The tongue thing at 03:06 made me want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. 🎉
Gotta say when Christina said he stepped into my light.... Tom gave that eyebrow from hell 😂
11:04 Theo prolly
As a farmer 10/10 for Tim wearing a John Deere Hoodie 😂
@ext93
Жыл бұрын
peak fashion
@jeremyweems4916
Жыл бұрын
It's probably a gucci hoodie and that he slapped a John Deere logo on 😂
@kallenavn2783
Жыл бұрын
The new John Deere X Gucci collection
Nadav's laugh is the best laugh I've ever heard. Can someone make a highlight reel🤣
@BlazingNana
Жыл бұрын
I agree!
The background laughter always gets me 😂
Bring back Potter as a episode guest please 🥺
Mornings are for YMH, afternoons JRE. Good uploading strategy.
Mommies giving off ‘just banged’ energy.
Can't wait for Jeans Day this year, so hyped
"...probably still brushing his hair."😙🤌 fkn chefs kiss , I lol'd an startled everyone.😆
Tom's looking like a snack these days
@LiberalGarbageMedia
Жыл бұрын
he looks like an egg
@nickmeyer238
Жыл бұрын
Like a banana split 🍌 🍨
@josofashoo564
Жыл бұрын
@@nickmeyer238 like a brown sugar cinnamon pop tart 😮💨
@tangybuttfrogfpv8772
Жыл бұрын
That's disgusting he's a married man, have some respect talking about another woman's man like that. Shame on you
@yourdaddy9622
Жыл бұрын
@@tangybuttfrogfpv8772it was the babysitter… wasn’t it.
Almost 1am in melb australia and ive been sitting up waiting for this 😍 mummiesss
I think Christina should keep the Rafiki tattoo and get the boys into lion king 🦁👑
Tim UHHHUNDRED PERCENT had work done on his face/lips. His top lip refuses to move.
wow, what a great audience!
I love how Tom gave himself an upper lip job with that stash shave
Watching this on my phone at my desk at John Deere Des Moines Works with Tommy Buns wearing that sweatshirt feels pretty meta
that opening video 🤣 also mommy christina looks great for the vday ep 🔥
Good morning Julia!
It's great to hear Unc Shine again. Great episode!
The prize for the Best Worst Tamp Stamp should be a little ribbon tattoo by the tattoo that says "1st place Best Worst Tramp stamp" and the YMH initials
I was in a mood once when I was younger, and was pretty convinced that I was going to get a huge ‘Ready To Die’ tattoo 😂💀💀💀💀💀💀 imagine
@samdavis456
Жыл бұрын
Worse than an ironic Thug Life lmao
@ultranitro437
Жыл бұрын
Your avatar is one of the best rap albums ever.
@samdavis456
Жыл бұрын
@@ultranitro437 facts bro. Ain’t no funnnnnnnnn
I’ve never wanted Tom to beat Nadav more than with these elementary school English PowerPoint transition effects 😂
Can't wait for everyone on Reddit to shit over the new fast cut intro
I could listen to Tom talk about his dad all day
We need a Thursday show!!!
@JoeDunnit
Жыл бұрын
Thursday Show coming work Robert and Jamie
*_I can't afford a cooling night mask this year, and I hope Christina really doesn't buy one, because I'd get so upset then._*
Is that the Alaska airlines logo on that tramp stamp? Definitely the Tramp Champ 🏆
The first I thought was that Unk's apt was really clean. I mean his gear is usually fresh.