Undoing My Father’s Damage - Onyango Otieno (Rix poet)

Onyango Otieno adored and looked up to his #father. They would spend time listening to music, dancing, reading, attend and watch football matches together. A novel missing from their one roomed house in Huruma changed all that. After accusing him of taking the book, his father violently assaulted him with a copper wire, lash after lash, blow after blow and on and on. Bloody and broken he admitted to stealing a book he hadn’t seen to stop the pain. What happened next is the stuff sadistic horror movies are made of. He couldn’t walk for 2 weeks after that. As the physical injuries healed, the mental and emotional scars remained pulsatingly raw! This opened a door for #anxiety, #depression, #truancy and #suicidal thoughts. In this #raw, #bold and #generous account, Onyango tells his story of the boy who’s now turned into a man who’s found #peace and is passionate about #trauma healing.
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Пікірлер: 147

  • @Rixpoet
    @Rixpoet2 жыл бұрын

    This story is fresh to me all the time I narrate it. I've come so far. I'm so grateful for the power of healing. There is hope for all of us.

  • @bilhaportia8101

    @bilhaportia8101

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing

  • @EngageTalk

    @EngageTalk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing this and trusting us with this. It will help many recognise their trauma and begin their healing journey. Thank you and bless you for the work you do in trauma healing.

  • @Babyras254

    @Babyras254

    2 жыл бұрын

    Love and light Rix❤️

  • @lizokoth6556

    @lizokoth6556

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing. I like your stories.

  • @griffinsndhine

    @griffinsndhine

    2 жыл бұрын

    Really touching story.

  • @lisaachiengodhiambo7381
    @lisaachiengodhiambo73812 жыл бұрын

    At times our parents are the first bullies and heartbreakers we encounter in this world...more power to you for sharing your story and becoming👏👏👏

  • @nancywangui4733

    @nancywangui4733

    6 ай бұрын

    Sadly my mother gave me my first heartbreak 💔, became Mt first bully 😢 have never healed till date

  • @Babyras254
    @Babyras2542 жыл бұрын

    I love Rix. I have learned a lot by following his healing journey on social media and I must say he's a rare kind of a man. Not many men openly talk about their struggles with their mental health. In fact, not many men are ever willing to talk about their strained relationships with their fathers and probably address the trauma that results from toxic families. Rix has led the way and more men should emulate him.

  • @SueLyons1
    @SueLyons12 жыл бұрын

    06:57 'I was accustomed to being beaten up' 😔 08:23 'People were so used to screams in my house' 😔 10:27 'What I do know is I couldn't walk for two weeks' 😞 13:14 'I grew up in so much silence' 😔 19:04 'There's just a tiredness to life' 😔 I am so sorry for your ten year old experience and the mental health challenges it brought into your life 21:32 'I was loved' ❤ 22:47 'The more I spoke up... the more I related to others... 23:04 our upbringing, our socialisation, we are told, toughen it up... we are not meant to bottle it up; we are meant to talk 23:38 we are meant to love; we are meant to express ourselves' 23:58 'so many of us are living with so much shame that we didn't cause ourselves... so that we are ashamed to really live in our truth' 'No matter how much the affliction you've been through as a person, as a community, as a family, 24:36 you are willing, if you want, to get better: it's possible... your trauma does not have to define you; I am defined by love' ❤ Such a beautiful, hopeful, peaceful end. May you continue in peace.

  • @e.cheruto8509
    @e.cheruto85092 жыл бұрын

    "it was the fact that I could name my pain, that's what made me heal".. Profound

  • @alalcelestine3219

    @alalcelestine3219

    3 ай бұрын

  • @bilhaportia8101
    @bilhaportia81012 жыл бұрын

    This is deep, l feel like everyone should embrace therapy to heal from childhood traumas we grew up in to avoid raising another generation in toxicity.

  • @EngageTalk

    @EngageTalk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Wisdom right there!

  • @gladysyiga3149

    @gladysyiga3149

    2 жыл бұрын

    Therapy centres should advertise. I don't know any

  • @JohnMmbaga_
    @JohnMmbaga_2 жыл бұрын

    Wow.... Reminds me to be careful as a parent. Thanks Otieno for your vulnerability.

  • @dippynicole3691
    @dippynicole36912 жыл бұрын

    I've really cried...... I just remembered my childhood memories. Sad sad sad

  • @lizokoth6556

    @lizokoth6556

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sorry Nicole

  • @Thespokenfor
    @Thespokenfor2 жыл бұрын

    Childhood traumas are real, especially where toxic parents are concerned. Like you, when I learned to recognize and name my pain ,healing began. God above all.

  • @jennymayna5334

    @jennymayna5334

    2 жыл бұрын

    May you find total healing 🙏

  • @rebeccahwanjiru4393
    @rebeccahwanjiru43932 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing your story. I can totally relate. Still dealing with childhood trauma, sometimes it feels like i have forgotten but the truth is that my memory has locked those occurrences somewhere so far as a way to protect me from the pain of the past. One day at a time.

  • @homesteadingwiththeangafam2158
    @homesteadingwiththeangafam21582 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing your story. Childhood trauma is so real, some of us are still on the healing journey.

  • @wanjamuchiri132
    @wanjamuchiri1322 жыл бұрын

    "I am hear because I clearly survived" Oooh dear you grew in what you went through😌 Thanks to the power of healing. I am sending you all the love ❤️

  • @cecilliachi
    @cecilliachi2 жыл бұрын

    I feel so much love for you. I lost my beloved cousin to suicide many years back. You are indeed doing it! And giving hope to so so many. Keep going! You are divine, an extension of God. A spiritual being. Don’t ever forget that. Much love ❤️

  • @Rixpoet

    @Rixpoet

    2 жыл бұрын

    🙏🏿

  • @carpediem1569
    @carpediem15692 жыл бұрын

    I read a book called purple hibiscus by chimamanda the other day and in it there was a similar scene only that it was the feet that got burnt and I thought that that must be fictional. That it can only happen in novels. That no parent can put their kid through that. And now I'm listening to you and the book came to life. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I'm so happy that you've taken charge of your life and cut out that toxic parent. There's a reason you're alive today and you will touch and change more lives than you could ever imagine. Lots of love and virtual hugs.

  • @onyangootieno5044

    @onyangootieno5044

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you.

  • @kavutym666

    @kavutym666

    2 жыл бұрын

    Some years back a mother in kayole or dandora burned her child because he had stolen 50sh

  • @lucys702
    @lucys7022 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing. "Your trauma does not define you" thank you because that reminded me that my past does not define who I am either.

  • @wanjirukaburu
    @wanjirukaburu2 жыл бұрын

    It takes being deliberate to look our hurt in the eye, call it out and take steps to heal from it. It's sad that our parents can and have caused us so much pain. In my journey, I have learnt that it's as a result of them dealing with their own demons. It has taken a deliberate self - love journey (part of the journey was publishing a book on the subject) to separate myself from the pain and heal; it still hurts sometimes but the journey continues. I pray that our parents heal and generation after generation parents do the work to be better and avoid the cycle. Home is supposed to be our safe space and when it's not, it's a terrible thing. May we all be better.

  • @carolinemutegi1056
    @carolinemutegi10562 жыл бұрын

    Ooh my, that must have been a depressed parent, so sorry for that and glad you are healing may God continue to guide you.

  • @doriswangari2048
    @doriswangari20482 жыл бұрын

    The pain in this story is so traumatising. The beauty about it though is that God has got you. You're alive for a reason.

  • @lizokoth6556

    @lizokoth6556

    2 жыл бұрын

    Well said wangari

  • @austheticstudios9295
    @austheticstudios92952 жыл бұрын

    Am a poet, almost same story like mine. Poem is the only place i feel heard at the same time relieved. It is a different world away from the natural one. Where I ride a lion and sleep peacefully with snakes. You know👌🏽

  • @phoebekardita3469
    @phoebekardita34692 жыл бұрын

    Maaahn 🔥🔥you are so brave, Some of us still have traumas caused by our parents,we still carry the luggage around,not knowing how to drop it cause some traumas feel spiritual 🤞.... But at the end of the day we have to find peace and if we won't we'll have to create it.

  • @WanjiruMuya
    @WanjiruMuya2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Onyango for sharing your story with us😍❤️

  • @laureenamondi6913
    @laureenamondi6913 Жыл бұрын

    Go champ you are a wonderful person🎉

  • @millie_royalty6476
    @millie_royalty64762 жыл бұрын

    Pole Onyango I feel you well well😥...you are Soo eloquent 💯✔️

  • @gladysyiga3149
    @gladysyiga31492 жыл бұрын

    Oh dear, may God heal the many children out there who are hurting and have gone through a traumatizing childhood.

  • @Wakilispeare
    @Wakilispeare Жыл бұрын

    Beautiful 💕💐👌🏽

  • @nabululeuria1891
    @nabululeuria18912 жыл бұрын

    Rix, your boldness to actually heal from all this 🥺❤

  • @onyangootieno5044

    @onyangootieno5044

    2 жыл бұрын

    :)

  • @mercymsezeni838
    @mercymsezeni8382 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry ❤😭😭. Thank you for opening up. I'm praying for continued strength.

  • @winniemuiruri359
    @winniemuiruri3592 жыл бұрын

    Wow...may we always create peace and love for ourselves

  • @nafulawafula-gitonga3502
    @nafulawafula-gitonga35022 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your openness and vulnerability Eric. This takes alot of courage and growth.

  • @onyangootieno5044

    @onyangootieno5044

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for watching and for the encouragement. :)

  • @monicakay8973
    @monicakay89732 жыл бұрын

    I've listened/watched your story before, I think on Legally Clueless (Not sure). It's as educative today as the first time I listened. As a mum it teaches me: 1. I need to overcome my own traumas. 2. I need to practice intentional parenting especially listening to my child. May you keep healing and recovering emotionally.

  • @EngageTalk

    @EngageTalk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes, we need to recognise and heal our own traumas so that we can live full lives and raise wholesome children.

  • @Iamfree8005
    @Iamfree80052 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for the story. It's awesome that you aspire to be the change that you want to see.👏👏👍

  • @maryann9679
    @maryann96792 жыл бұрын

    Very deep. You are brave and thank you for touching lives.

  • @ireneabuya7231
    @ireneabuya72312 жыл бұрын

    Most of us our childhood was crazy but yours was crazier bro,i pray that you heal fully ,so sorry for what you went thru

  • @naillahanne4129
    @naillahanne41292 жыл бұрын

    Ooh No hugs my darling may God heal you.

  • @fredgori8510
    @fredgori85102 жыл бұрын

    Your story has deeply touched me, Onyango. I almost stopped watching at that moment when your dad brought kerosene and a rope because I couldn't stand what was going to happen next. Wueeh. Glad your survived the many incidents and that you are going through therapy now. You are a winner, man.

  • @listanthenya5392
    @listanthenya53922 жыл бұрын

    This is so painful to listen to! It's unfathomable! May you find healing!

  • @minkrasi3318
    @minkrasi33182 жыл бұрын

    deep. Thanks for sharing

  • @a_mylo
    @a_mylo2 жыл бұрын

    Hugs and thank you for sharing this part of your life, sounds familiar but we are writing better stories for our children to tell...

  • @Rixpoet

    @Rixpoet

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes, we are.

  • @bellaolum9515
    @bellaolum95152 жыл бұрын

    I watched your story somewhere I think in Justus' channel, it was quite chilling. Thank God you are healing.

  • @irenecharity356
    @irenecharity3562 жыл бұрын

    Great life story to learn from....Thanks for enlightening many.....Lots of love..Hopefully we'll meet up!

  • @aminaaminata6268
    @aminaaminata62682 жыл бұрын

    RIX you are a legend. Keep inspiring us. Cb made me want to follow him for a minute. Waah! Story for another day.

  • @Rixpoet

    @Rixpoet

    2 жыл бұрын

    Story for another day. ❤️ May he rest in peace.

  • @ireneobonyo5465
    @ireneobonyo54652 жыл бұрын

    This was a painful one to listen to because I have seen it. I'm glad you overcame.

  • @loideferdinand6299
    @loideferdinand62992 жыл бұрын

    Notifications gang here from Namibia 🇳🇦

  • @EngageTalk

    @EngageTalk

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hi Loide!! Happy new year!!

  • @lizokoth6556
    @lizokoth65562 жыл бұрын

    So sorry. Quite a moving story.

  • @akinyiokeyo4618
    @akinyiokeyo46182 жыл бұрын

    Feeling the fear and beyond....asante.

  • @thediaryofaneasymommylife4046
    @thediaryofaneasymommylife40462 жыл бұрын

    Toxic parents, childhood trauma, unstable marriage. Am glad blacks are starting to recognize what pain did to them. Talking about what the parents did, thats strength!!

  • @angelbell716
    @angelbell7162 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing your story 😊. You just expressed what I have been going through without having the strength and words that you have. Thanks again God bless you for your bravery 🙏🙏

  • @Rixpoet

    @Rixpoet

    2 жыл бұрын

    Peace & blessings. 😊

  • @daringdarling6892
    @daringdarling68922 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Onyango for sharing this heartbreaking and power full story. I hope it inspires us all to embark on our journey to heal our traumas🙏

  • @SusanMarusha
    @SusanMarusha2 жыл бұрын

    Much 💕 your way ,you overcame alot

  • @mirriammututo8869
    @mirriammututo88692 жыл бұрын

    A story well told. I am so glad that God preserved you

  • @chrismeshack9423
    @chrismeshack94238 ай бұрын

    Thats just me. I've forgiven my Dad, he's quite old now, but we can't have a father-son relationship. I'm still building on that. Pole ndugu.

  • @leilajoan9989
    @leilajoan99892 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing. This takes alot of courage to speak of.

  • @victoriaehrich7131
    @victoriaehrich71312 жыл бұрын

    Wow!!! This is too touchy.

  • @afsachesang2238
    @afsachesang22382 жыл бұрын

    Touching how can one get to you a friend in that situation

  • @Zee-qm3vr
    @Zee-qm3vr2 жыл бұрын

    This soo traumatic and ruthless for a 10yr old kid. Sad.

  • @TinnahAchy
    @TinnahAchy2 жыл бұрын

    This has made me cry 😢 haki. What an animal kind of dad....

  • @freeasabird5239
    @freeasabird52392 жыл бұрын

    So sorry for all you went through. What a monster dad

  • @gracenjamba1792
    @gracenjamba17922 жыл бұрын

    My God you are telling my story.I went through this……

  • @Js82able
    @Js82able2 жыл бұрын

    Much hugs on your healing journey

  • @estherkuria3170
    @estherkuria3170 Жыл бұрын

    I can't finish listening to this 😥

  • @roseoketch2740
    @roseoketch2740 Жыл бұрын

    May God bless you all.

  • @winskitchen.602
    @winskitchen.6022 жыл бұрын

    This story has reminded me how Michael Jackson dad mistreated them and the kids got stressed ,sometimes we as parents needs to rethink before we punish our kids,who said,lazima punishment be beaten,?

  • @shizma7917
    @shizma79172 жыл бұрын

    Love you❣❣ you are wise and enough

  • @janettewatila9854
    @janettewatila98542 жыл бұрын

    I am so sorry....... Oh so so tragic..... Parents really damage children.....

  • @authenticeve
    @authenticeve2 жыл бұрын

    I heard a pastor say that sometimes parents are angry and bitter with their colleagues, and other grownups but because they can't fight them, they only need a little trigger to descend in their helpless kids with kicks and blows 😭😭😭

  • @lizokoth6556

    @lizokoth6556

    2 жыл бұрын

    😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • @shade_ofnite7autopsychogra411

    @shade_ofnite7autopsychogra411

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yeah it's called displacement

  • @jayniemoses8096
    @jayniemoses80962 жыл бұрын

    This is deep!!

  • @erastusmuya7208
    @erastusmuya72082 жыл бұрын

    same boat..really eye opening

  • @omilnetwork
    @omilnetwork2 жыл бұрын

    Proud of you. Thank you.

  • @staicykagai400
    @staicykagai4002 жыл бұрын

    This is so sad.

  • @washingtonodera1523
    @washingtonodera15232 жыл бұрын

    Your Dad was a cruel abuser , he must have carried that from his past , don’t hold so much forgive him . Thank him for giving you life , forgive him. Our parents went through so much abuse in form of discipline!!!!

  • @cherrymakena
    @cherrymakena2 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry for what you had to go through💖

  • @lynmoraah
    @lynmoraah Жыл бұрын

    Such a bad father I am very upset with him Wherever he is , I hope he listens to this from his own son

  • @jaberasami5901
    @jaberasami59012 жыл бұрын

    Francis onyiso harambe stars kiboko yao

  • @Rixpoet

    @Rixpoet

    2 жыл бұрын

    Only for legends. 😅

  • @L-ameck
    @L-ameck2 жыл бұрын

    This was amazing. Although you have not talked much about why your dad was sweet and bitter at the same time, I can see some traits of a narcissist from the way you describe his behavior. Having or growing up in a narcissistic environment can be very toxic for any child. I am close to one who was brought up and the mental disorder she has to fix at an old age is not worth it. It's devastating and draining. I hope you find peace.

  • @mremboblog
    @mremboblog2 жыл бұрын

    But his mother watched all this and did not do anything... yaanii!!! Aieh!!! Aieh!!! I have no words. He broke your trust. He broke your spirit!! It was the love betrayed by that absolute, controlled violence!!! Wooii... the trauma!!!

  • @Babyras254

    @Babyras254

    2 жыл бұрын

    The father was probably cut from the patriarchal clothe? The ones that disregard women and their opinions? Probably beats them up as well? I mean if he could brutalize his son like this, what's the least he could do to a woman? Just thinking out loud. So you shouldn't and can't judge her.

  • @furzzy013

    @furzzy013

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@Babyras254 I agrée. He said they were used to screams from their house so could’ve been the case with the mother too.

  • @nmnteamdknn8405

    @nmnteamdknn8405

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@Babyras254 no way I can watch my child being abused... I will intervened whatever happen I will take...even if it is to kill us.. hut I can't just sit and watch....

  • @shade_ofnite7autopsychogra411

    @shade_ofnite7autopsychogra411

    2 жыл бұрын

    If you've been listening to Rix for a while you'll learn that his mother was severely physically abused as well. He came from a very dysfunctional home. So I think the mother could do nothing because of fear and dread

  • @magdalenamwalimo62

    @magdalenamwalimo62

    2 жыл бұрын

    Emotional abuse comes first before physical abuse. One can’t understand why victims find it difficult to leave or act. It is called trauma bonding. So we can’t judge his mother but understand the sad story of leaving with abusive people in the name of love.

  • @kelgk2086
    @kelgk20862 жыл бұрын

    … something had broken…that took me.

  • @victoriaehrich7131
    @victoriaehrich71312 жыл бұрын

    I bet he never came back to apologize to the poor 10 year old boy. And that's what makes things so hard on the little boy at the time.

  • @tabithamarami8133
    @tabithamarami81332 жыл бұрын

    Ati? Your mum was watching helplessly? Your uncle? No one could stop this madman from this abuse? Lord have mercy...

  • @charlottesanaipei893
    @charlottesanaipei8932 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing so proud of you

  • @mercywanjiru7017
    @mercywanjiru70172 жыл бұрын

    ❤️

  • @JoJoJoJo-bb8we

    @JoJoJoJo-bb8we

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hugs dear

  • @nmnteamdknn8405
    @nmnteamdknn84052 жыл бұрын

    Nooooooo. That's very cruel... just for a book????why didn't you mom intervene??? GOOD lord....

  • @fenikjaheda8326
    @fenikjaheda83262 жыл бұрын

    👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾!

  • @GeekyGumbots
    @GeekyGumbots Жыл бұрын

    Poor kid

  • @ednamuhanji
    @ednamuhanji2 жыл бұрын

    This is painful. Unbelievable. And your mum did nothing? 10 years old? You were so young. Needed protection.

  • @kap849

    @kap849

    2 жыл бұрын

    My mum excused my dad's bad behaviour as "that's how men are". I don't think anyone should walk into the house you just cleaned with muddy shoes! No man or woman should do that. My dad had no problem doing that, or leaving his mess everywhere and you know "that's how men are." I don't care if you are a man or woman, manners apply to all.

  • @chriskelvink9512
    @chriskelvink95122 жыл бұрын

    I went through a similar case my mum rushed to check where she kept her purse and missed it and thought I had stolen her cash she beat the hell out of me and at some point went for a panga I escaped through the window. I was only 15 in class eight. it still haunts me because i was innocent.

  • @studylamp3512

    @studylamp3512

    Жыл бұрын

    Sending healing, love and light your way Chris💕

  • @FelixAijah

    @FelixAijah

    9 ай бұрын

    How is your relationship with your mum upto now man. I went through similar experiences.

  • @dalidzucheredi2495
    @dalidzucheredi24952 жыл бұрын

    I'm not sure I can listen to the end

  • @gladysyiga3149
    @gladysyiga31492 жыл бұрын

    Lord God, give parents wisdom of how to raise children

  • @Honest_Man
    @Honest_Man2 жыл бұрын

    Why is it that it's Mostly women relate with this

  • @BG-gt1xy
    @BG-gt1xy2 жыл бұрын

    Have you forgiven your father ?

  • @idawairimu7093
    @idawairimu70932 жыл бұрын

    Waaa I don't like that crude child abuse seemingly discipline.. Really destroys self esteem.. So sorry