I never understood how someone can use you as a punching bag and then expect you to treat them with kindness and respect.

@lindabell6954

Жыл бұрын

You just described the narcissist. They take all our goodness, blame us for their misdeeds and still expect adoration?

@mgardnerx5

Жыл бұрын

The hypocrisy in narc abuse is overwhelming!

@bradyryan5105

Жыл бұрын

My mom & older brother jon are like this. Though there are times where mom is very agreeable with me

@harpsailorharp6716gg

Жыл бұрын

My father is elderly ...he refused to pay my mum.any maintenance when she left him due to D.V ..I fact he offered 5p for me and my sibling. Over the years he sa us once eve few year amd always unplanned and out the blue after 0 contact 0 birthday cards and 0 as cards ... fast forward ...he us now 69 and living back in his home town with NOTHING yet expects me to financially bail him.and his dodgy Filipino wife out ... when I have sent him food delivery's I have never offered money and when I have had 2 attempts off my step mother hinting for money via Instagram and refuting these attempts by putting down polite boundaries HE has became enraged and disowned me in a email telling me I uncaring and have psychosis and have given my stepmother high blood pressure .ect..... you just can't change entitled narcassists ...my father causes me so much pain that even when I've tired to help him and pitied him he just wanted money 💰 ...I'll be at peace only when he dies of old age because he makes me utterly utterly miserable

@joshuaanzalone2060

Жыл бұрын

Yes Peter you don't treat someone like crap and then expect them to be a doormat for you. What retarded thinking

I don’t think renting the house to her parents would be a good idea, they would shame her even more for not letting them live there rent free. Too much emotional distress! She needs to get away from them as far as possible to not get reminded of her childhood trauma all the time!

@TheBeautifulShutin

Жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing. On top of that, they would probably delay paying her on time and miss payments, in order to aggravate her.

@serenadonelson9195

Жыл бұрын

I had similar thoughts, there is sort of a revenge in it. However, in the long term, if they decide to trash it, feel entitled on repairs, upgrading, they will make her life a living hell. Also if they stop paying rent, it’s going to keep the guilt cycle going. Best if she goes no contact.

@Guinea_Mom

Жыл бұрын

My thoughts also. I get the satisfaction of being the victor. But they wouldn’t pay and they would still feel entitled and that they owned the home because they paid it for however many years they’ve been there. They would use the situation to make her look terrible if she did evict them. They could play the victim and let everyone know this is why she was always treated differently than her siblings.

@stefaniweiss2077

Жыл бұрын

I totally agree. They wouldn’t pay her and they would guilt her and make her life hell by not leaving then she would have to get police involved. No way Jose.

@crystalcole888

Жыл бұрын

You're exactly right. And it's not just that they won't pay. It opens up a legal channel in which her parents could sue her for any sort of trumped-up reason. What she won't give freely they would try to extract through the legal system. She should let them rot, and they would have done the same to her.

Say "Sorry, I can't afford to pay the debts/mortgage of 3 people" and slam the door in their entitled faces. So happy for this glorious queen 🙌

@margaritasmirnova

5 ай бұрын

I was thinking exactly the same thought!!!!❤

Cutting contact with my narcissistic mother was a life changer. I never realized how hurt and confused I was until I did it. And after some meditation and therapy, I'm better than ever and finally healed from childhood abuse.

I'm commenting twice just to highlight how important it is for her TO NOT RENT TO HER ABUSIVE PARENTS. That opens up a legal channel that they can use to sue her for any sort of trumped-up reason. If she won't give them money, they could try to wring it out of her. She has to be more careful now that she has resources, not less careful. And that includes giving to her siblings or anybody around them.

@amyoung101

Жыл бұрын

💯

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

Yep they could try to drag her through court for months/years on bogus lawsuits that'll probably never even go anywhere JUST to cost her 💵 in legal fees😳.Full-blown narcs are hopelessly screwed up in the head & a threat to others so you have to treat them accordingly & cut them and anyone that voluntarily associates with them off in order to protect yourself & your own family from trouble.

@Dana-gj5hr

Жыл бұрын

Fully agree.

@h.j.chapin9595

Жыл бұрын

My narc dad has taken his favorite GC son to court three times in the past four months! The reasons? Dad's not getting his way and he's not being allowed to do whatever he wants because he's been diagnosed with dementia (w/delusions). He's had to be moved to assisted living (a locked ward) because his short term memory has deteriorated. Even the local police have stated their approval. . . narc Dad has called them multiple times accusing my brother of stealing money from him. ---> Dad's narcissistic traits have been amplified by the dementia. He's way more antagonstic & confrontational which means he yells & rages much more often. Dad has tried to "Hoover" me back to him so that I can "rescue him" but I have refused to fall for it. I know he'll only try to manipulate me into doing what he wants and then just turn on me like he did to my brother. Too much b.s. for me to stand any longer.

@JustJen33

Жыл бұрын

The parents wouldnt "'even" pay the rent if she allowed them to stay in her house. Im so glad for her success and dont want her to feel any guilt that they are throwing her way. WTG sister!

If her parents are telling her that she "deserved" her upbringing, she can tell them they "deserve" to lose their house, since they weren't smarter with their money. They sent her brothers on fabulous trips instead of saving for their future. Gosh, life's tough.

@mzellenicole01

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! When you do dumb stuff, dumb stuff happens to you. Her parents deserve what is happening. They're jerks.

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

You 👀 this type of situation all the ⌚....A lot of narcs are prone to over-spending on 💩 they don't actually need & then it comes back to bite them in the buns ROYALLY in their older age🤭🤗!

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

Yea, I noticed that too. It's obvious the parents are well aware as they admit to it themselves. It's curious how they would say that and still expect help. Typical narcissist behavior.

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

@@malwads1836 They probably want to spend it all on themselves before they die. A lot just live longer then they have money to pay for their flamboyant lifestyle keeping up appearances. Meanwhile they would demand servitude if you want any part of the inheritance, which they will all spend before they die anyway. But they just won't tell you about that.,

@morgainnejade

Жыл бұрын

Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of their own actions. 😉

She should tell her parents that she doesn’t have enough money to ‘help everyone.’ Great story

@atullyadweepdweep5631

Жыл бұрын

💯✅!!

@ericnorthman9410

9 ай бұрын

GREAT ANSWER. I had a similar experience. My mother got her deserts ..

Her parents traumatized her and neglected her, she owes them nothing, but they owe her, at the very least, an apology!

The parents calling her an asshole and saying she deserved what she got as a child speaks volumes. Run!

@Dana-gj5hr

Жыл бұрын

Exactly, "You deserved your childhood." was the full-frontal confession. It happened. We know it, We did it. Been there....

@ajkoots258

Жыл бұрын

@@Dana-gj5hr well said I heart yours and David Johnsons comments

@flowerchild89

Жыл бұрын

Yes, what shitty parents.

@TheBiggestMoronYouKnow

Жыл бұрын

If anyone is honestly saying children deserve pain, don’t associate

@Italian69Boi

Жыл бұрын

that confirms that she did the right thing

I have complex PTSD from being abused by narcissistic parents. I went no contact 6 years ago and I don't regret it. I was the scapegoat and both my brothers were treated better than me and they got special privileges. The bottom line, I became successful after I went no contact. I graduated college and bought a new car and condo. Now my family wants me in their lives. I did well for myself, by myself and I owe them nothing!!! I am very content with the no contact.

@FutureFendiFsnista

Жыл бұрын

Woo!!! We love to see it! 🎉

@sandrapersaud3105

Жыл бұрын

Awesome 👌

@ichsehnursoaus

Жыл бұрын

yes, and please stay no contact, in bad times, too

@NewWave-zl6wx

Жыл бұрын

Great, to see your success 👍🏻🌸🌻🌺

@palmtreeparadise1129

Жыл бұрын

I'm so proud of you and your accomplishments! I imagine the journey has not been easy but your hard work is paying off. I was also able to move from surviving to thriving when I went no contact with my parents. Hugs from another scapegoat who escaped the toxic family system.

🐐🙋‍♀️ As a scapegoat who went full No Contact after finally realizing that “being the bigger person” only serves to make the dysfunctional family system & narcissistic family members work even harder at trying to blame you and tear you down, I have to say this is a real gem: “Being the bigger person often just means that the narcissist gets their way and it just emboldens and feeds their entitlement.” When you think about it, no one should have to “be the bigger person.” If there isn’t a baseline sense of equality as human beings, then, sadly, it’s unlikely you’ll ever find a sense of comfort or balance within that family system.

@killadjango6995

Жыл бұрын

bingo!!💯💯🎯

@chelly2468

11 ай бұрын

I stopped this too. I’m gonna say what I’m gonna say, what’s not right, what’s never been right. I stopped because I’ll never get a legitimate answer besides “go get help”. So I cut off contact. But I really appreciate this comment. Being the “bigger person” never felt right to me. It was only a way to get you to shut up.

@killadjango6995

11 ай бұрын

@@chelly2468 bingo!💯🎯

@StrongPoliticalViews

9 ай бұрын

They won't play her rent. Just block their number. Say goodbye. The brothers can help them.

@laurenb6467

7 ай бұрын

As someone who just had to block her mother.... I really needed this today ❤ thank you for sharing!

Gosh. I have burnt myself out being the bigger person. Good for her. I had no safe place to land - still don't. I hope she stays away from them altogether.

My father did everything in his power to obstruct my work as a scientist. When I became affiliated with one of the best universities in the world he tried claiming that success. So from my experience I'd be apprehensive to buy the house and rent it to my parents which would give them power to keep pestering me in petty ways. Not worth it.

@abowling5759

Жыл бұрын

Definitely not worth it

@olive0eyes0

Жыл бұрын

It’s not worth it, ❤ them from a distance. Peace ☮️ & Freedom 🕊️

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

That's a smart comment right there😊👍🏻👍🏻.Yes you honestly NEED to cut these types off permanently because they'll use ANYTHING to try to harass you...Even if THEY'RE the ones depending on you in any type of way.If you're dealing with full-blown narcs with NPD...They CAN'T turn off their arrogance & entitlement even if it means everything going down in 🔥 for their own selves,it's just pathological behavior that's part of the disorder😬.Thanks for sharing your little success story & opinion with all of us,best wishes for enjoying your life🙂.

@purvamandlik4696

Жыл бұрын

I feel the same. Maintaining distance is the best.

@galamander_1327

Жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing, don't get entangled with the parents again.

Awesome story. Kind of disagree with the idea of her becoming their landlord though. They obviously can’t pay rent, and she’d inevitably have to evict, and go through being shamed and guilted again which could be triggering for her. I’d say move on with her life.

@Pasta1nc

Жыл бұрын

Yea, and even if the parents could pay, they'd begrudge her the rent, most likely. They'd probably torment her relentlessly in hopes that she'd stop asking for rent. Even further, they can break things she'd be forced to repair.

@reason4being868

Жыл бұрын

I agree with you. She needs to remove herself from contact with their toxicity especially if the brothers are still living there as well...they just gang up on her. Also, in some states it's not as easy to evict people from rentals as you think if they refuse to leave. The police won't come and remove them and if you physically try to do it yourself you can end up with harassment charges or worse. This happened to a family member of mine. She would do well to remain true to her good good values.

@nowyouknowrealestate5703

Жыл бұрын

I thought the same thing. NPs take EVERY opportunity to make you look bad even when you were being the bigger person. It’s mind blowing. The only way not quit losing is to quit engaging. You don’t win but you don’t lose. You don’t lose your good name, your character and most importantly your sanity.

@MW-he4cp

Жыл бұрын

I think the safer option, if she did become their landlord, would be if she hired a property management company to take care of their home. They would have all communication about the house and paying rent to the property manager and it takes the daughter out of the equation.

@GenXHeart

Жыл бұрын

@@MW-he4cp THIS!!! This sounds like the best way to cover her butt and sleep easy at night!

Being the bigger person only helps evil people. Like her parents. Thats the lesson I need to learn.

Absolutely do not rent to your parents! Keep the toxicities out of your life.

@lindac6919

2 ай бұрын

They'll probably complain to the housing authority and try to SUE her. Don't open the door even a crack!

She is not the A hole.... -The parents can't get jobs? - The golden child brothers w/the free college educations can't get jobs? - After that treatment, even being their landlord would be too much contact. Jealousy over her success & being her tennants will infuriate them. You just know they would refuse to pay the rent & run up repairs w/the potential for litigation to pay her back for not bailing them out. They're not worth the inevitable problems. - She should bail at the speed of light.

@enraegen561

Жыл бұрын

She can offer them though 🤣 They will probably refuse, and if not, she can get a good contract where she can evict them if they exercise their entitlement. Depends if she has the conviction to evict, if it comes to that. Revenge sounds good, but sweet people often don't have the stomach. In her shoes, I'd just tell the parents no, you were assholes to me and I got nothing, despite you taking the responsibility when bringing me to this world. And tell the siblings that they are welcome to ask for help should they need it. Though if the parents are narcs, the golden child brothers might not be the best people either.

@gigiarmany4332

Жыл бұрын

Exactly 💥🔥

@MaureenWHamblin

Жыл бұрын

I agree with all of these points 👌🏿👌🏿

She's obviously compassionate and fair. Buying her grandparents their dream home? Helping her aunt pay off her medical school debt? Yeah, this girl is nice - to those who deserve it.

@Earl_E_Burd

Жыл бұрын

Obviously, since you know her so well.

@seabreeze4559

Жыл бұрын

the parents will inherit it though so that was a dumb move

@chanellover2143

Жыл бұрын

@@seabreeze4559 the house may be in her name so no, parents won’t inherit

@Debbie_Bcool

Жыл бұрын

@@chanellover2143 She bought the house for them it is her name more then likely. The parents get nothing I agree with you.

@vikki8699

Жыл бұрын

Beautiful said!

This lady was so fortunate to have loving grandparents. God bless them.

I really need this. I’ve been feeling such rage, frustration and anger towards my narcissistic parents. They’ve stolen too many years from me!

@kriswinters4225

6 ай бұрын

in the same boat, navigating the waters right now with boundary re-setting since breaking No Contact (to give medical guidance that my aunts asked me to share - if they'd asked for money i would have laughed)

Her parents deserve nothing. How could anyone do that to their child? They are monsters and they even admit they treated her horribly as a child so they KNEW it was abuse. Monsters.

@EvelynneK1812

Жыл бұрын

Monters indeed, though you don’t get to even realise that because they embeded in your thoughts growing up that you’re the monster for not meeting their expectations.

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

Yep...Even full-blown narcs understand the dirt they do to others.The 🚹 I love has had untreated Depression for years now & his parents are narcs...His mom even TOLD me that they had known for a long ⌚ he was sick & needed treatment as a underage teen,they all KNOWINGLY sat back & 👀 his mental health deteriorate horribly🤢.These people are disordered...But they DON'T deserve your empathy because they're BOTH mad AND bad😬!

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

@Mama Bush but they will never admit to it, not even to themselves. This is why they go off on their narcissistic abuse on others.

Dear Dr. Ramini, no, noooo, she should not become the landlord of her parents. This would force her to engage with them. Even though she would be in the power position, it would still poison her. The best thing for a survivor is to go no contact, to free yourself.

@RM-de8qs

Жыл бұрын

Who says the parents and siblings would pay rent if they feel entitled. She would have to maintain the property while they do nothing. They would become squatters.

@abowling5759

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely, you got that right! NC is the way to go on this…

@griceldastoneking3696

Жыл бұрын

She could hire a management company and stay no contact with her parents.

@LittleLulubee

Жыл бұрын

@@griceldastoneking3696 They don’t deserve the help

@amyoung101

Жыл бұрын

Agree 💯!!! It would still be poison.

I became the scapegoat, when I recognized how my parents used money to manipulate myself and my sibling. I started to set boundaries. I moved 200 miles away, and then was guilted for not driving 3 hours to see them. I went no contact after mother left a particularly vile rant on my voicemail. It was one of the best decisions I made. No more drama or verbal abuse. No more calls to guilt me into doing what she wanted. I recently moved over 2,000 miles and it is heaven. Mother still tries to find out where I am at, because as the oldest child, I was supposed to let her move in with me in her later years. Sorry, Mom , you are on your own. Figure it out.

@VictoriaWonders

Жыл бұрын

yes slay! same here, am doing actally very great now they don't get my energy time anger and worry!

@churchofpos2279

Жыл бұрын

@@VictoriaWonders It's heaven to have that burden lifted off of you. Congratulations.

@natural3362

Жыл бұрын

​@@churchofpos2279 please pray for me too and wish me luck!

@churchofpos2279

Жыл бұрын

@natiral My thoughts are with you. I hope. That you will find the peace you deserve ❤️

@aena5995

Жыл бұрын

Please pray for me 😭 4 years of college from home 😢 my mental health is going insane cuz of this women

After a lifetime of mental abuse I finally decided to completely cut off my siblings, after my parents deaths. When the male sibling passed I didnt even go to his memorial service. My female sibling occasionally comes into my work and I ignore her. I am happier now at 67 than I was for 60 years. Too bad I waited

@crazigrl85

5 ай бұрын

There is nothing anyone does that surprises me anymore

As a fellow scapegoat, I am very proud of her 💪

@sunithaacharya4340

Жыл бұрын

Me too

@edgarcastillo2804

Жыл бұрын

scapegoat gang rise up

@liverpooldragons

Жыл бұрын

Team scapegoat!

@Jachimma

Жыл бұрын

Ditto.

@threefreaksonaleash6619

Жыл бұрын

Meeee too! 💪🏻

She owes her parents nothing…….They treated her like she didn’t matter to them, unless they were getting something from her, like free labor. It seems highly probable that it was the only reason her parents kept her around. She should have absolutely nothing to do with them. All they want to do is leech off of her again, make off with whatever she has and then forget about her. The abuse from people like that never ends.

@roxannemagana3473

Жыл бұрын

👏👏👏👏👏

@joshuaanzalone2060

Жыл бұрын

Yep a bowling I owe my parents nothing,including past narcs.

@starlingswallow

Жыл бұрын

They still made her feel worthless because they made her work and didn't pay her. This is a horrific story!! My heart breaks for her but I'm so glad she went out and made a name for herself!!❤❤❤❤

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

Oh the abuse from these screwballs ends...It ends because you stop it in it's tracks by going no-contact🤗👍🏻.

@seabreeze4559

Жыл бұрын

domestic slavery is illegal, she should press charges

I'm also a scapegoat who won, in the end. Good for that Reddit poster! I'm two years no-contact and I think the fog of my parents gaslighting, and lies, and manipulation is mostly worn off. It's wild to be doing things and have a random light-bulb-moment about something they've done like, "Oh my god. What they did was really screwed up!" or "Ohhhhh. Okay. I'm not actually terrible at . They just *told* me that I was." It feels great to be where I am, and know that their failings are their own, and I'm not responsible. As a little insight: They told everyone I'm lazy, stupid, and terrible with money, while they are now in a panic over lack of retirement because they pissed it away on alcohol, trips they couldn't afford, and buying into get-rich schemes. I went No-Contact after they came to me, demanding $20k, claiming it's my fault they have no retirement. How does that even compute? If I'm lazy, stupid, and terrible with money, why would I have $20k? I don't even want to get into details about what my childhood was like. It was one of those things where people on the outside would have no idea how terrorizing parents can be to their kids behind closed doors, so I was screwed on both ends. People outside thought I had nothing to complain about, and would mistreat me, while my home life was horrible. I grew up thinking all people are equally horrible, but also that *it was my fault.* My parents even managed to convince my favorite grandmother that *I* didn't want to see *her* and I lost contact with that grandmother for decades. We had some really enlightening conversations when we reconnected. My grandmother is awesome, but some people are just life-leeches; they suck every good thing out of you even if you're not in direct, regular, contact with them.

@VelvetJazz

Жыл бұрын

That last paragraph… 😢 YES. DITTO! I completely understand. 🤗🤗🤗

@rochellebrunson3602

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations for choosing yourself!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽I’ve had to do the same. I, finally, feel free and have learned to like and Love-myself. I’m awesome! ❤ Kudos to you! Keep up the good work. YOU ARE AWESOME!😊

@aniawood

Жыл бұрын

I so get it. I'm also a scapegoat who won in the end. Been over 6 years no contact and it's brought sooo much peace to my life. My parents paid for my 3 brothers to go to college but not for me... and in the end I ended up going to college and grad school and taking on loans to help me do that and ending up really successful in my profession. It was funny when my youngest brother visited me and saw my oceanfront home and my top floor office in downtown SF and had this moment of realizing just how distorted my parents were... he said they consistently talk about me being a bum but in terms of the capitalist success markers they value, I was more impressively "successful" than they are. And in terms of soul fulfillment, infinitely more successful!

@user-rw7xg6wg1h

Жыл бұрын

Sounds just like my family. I went no contact a month ago.

@_786RP

Жыл бұрын

Goodness 🤯 proud of you though 🙌....you did well Queen ❤️👑

All of us scapegoats are there for you gal!!! Well done!

Them paying her rent would be poetic, but lord would it lead to some exhausting drama.

I was the only daughter with 2 older brothers and I was treated completely different than my brothers were in every single way. My narcissistic mother let them do so much while using the ‘boys will boys’ mentality while I couldn’t do anything. Dating, going out with friends, I wasn’t allowed to drive or get my drivers license (despite my grandparents paying for drivers ed for me) because girls are held to a different standard and that’s just how it is. She still manipulated my brothers, just in very different ways than she did me. I left at 22 and never looked back. And my grandparents were the only reason I was able to leave.

@brianb7869

Жыл бұрын

so sorry...

@abowling5759

Жыл бұрын

Great job!!!!…..and congratulations 🎊

@starlingswallow

Жыл бұрын

I'm SO GLAD you had your grandparents!!!! 😢I'm so sorry your parents treated you this way but bravo to you for getting out!!! 👏🏻 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

@ThePiscesNotOnly

Жыл бұрын

Same siblings structure with you.... She treated me differently too..... A lot more control since I was a kid....

@denisedevoto5703

Жыл бұрын

It is heartbreaking to know that your parents don't care about you. I am so sorry. You are so lucky you left early! I didn't understand what was happening to me until I was 55. I have lots of destroyed relationships in my wake, including my older daughter. You have the chance to build a healthy life. That is great! I wish you much luck and love in your life.

'That was then , this is now'. is one of the favourite lines used in my family of origin if I attempt to bring up any of their past transgressions . Those same people that will take your money and spit in your face once they get it to show you who the alpha still is . Unfortunately narcissists view their scapegoat as weak and deserving of any abuse and scorn they have heap on you and have already expressed that sentiment to the daughter . NO MONEY FOR YOU ! Sleep well at night - you owe them nothing and certainly not your soul .

@lovesrage772

8 ай бұрын

OMG SAME

Her buying her parents house and being their landlord could also end in disaster. I wouldn't want that for her.

My brother had literal blank cheques. I worked for the 'family' business for free "must help the 'family'". I am always so happy to hear when young people figure this out early. I spent over 40 years paying for everything and am now no contact. Sometimes it's a good idea to remember how your parents acted in situations before deciding how you will act towards them. I literally starved (in hospital at 83 pounds 5'6") and it didn't bother them in the slightest. When my youngest son was dying not even a comic book and a chocolate bar from anyone. Crickets. It was like how dare he take my time and money away from them. The entitlement from people who actually hate you is just phenomenal.

@brianb7869

Жыл бұрын

so sorry

@utrnagel9441

Жыл бұрын

Oh no! So sorry😪

@yvonne3903

Жыл бұрын

Yes, "from people who actually HATE you", or in my case, hate me. Very important to know that early, because that's what it is, and better if you don't do denial. Thank you, I'm sorry for the loss of your son. I hope life has gotten better for you.

@mountainmama9209

Жыл бұрын

I'm so very sorry for your loss and all that you went through. Sending warm thoughts for better days.

@brianb7869

Жыл бұрын

9

Im so happy for her success! She deserves it! As a scapegoat myself to my narcissistic family I know how she feels! Her story motivates me to do better in my life instead of feeling defeated!

@gemgem5401

Жыл бұрын

Same

She doesn't owe her parents anything after how they treated her. Kudos to her for standing up to herself. I know people who've been in similar situations

Those grandparents are incredible, beautifully empathic people. Her parents seem to be aware that they treated her like crap since they say that she "deserved it." I hope her and the rest of her good family have a great life.

No she mustn't be their landlord! They will go create misery beyond our wildest imaginations for her. DO NOT ENGAGE. They can rent or go on assistance. Do not take on other peoples' karma.

@amyoung101

Жыл бұрын

💯

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

apparently Dr. R. has forgotten her DEEP method.

People have no idea how difficult it is when the parents favorite the sibling or siblings over the scapegoat. It's a lifelong battle of what did I do wrong? Why me? How can i fix myself to make them like me? It never goes away and that rejection anxiety bleeds into all other relationships you have.

@jamesrutter4100

Жыл бұрын

Untill you realise that you do not like them. LET alone love them. Go find yourself. Walk away and be happy spend time alone and find out what you like

@cherylm5002

Жыл бұрын

If you work on your attachment wounds you will one day reach a state of not giving a f**k about them. Give up the hope of them loving you the way you want them to. It takes time but with consistent work you can be emotionally free of their putrid influence.

@ChristineSpringerElaine

Жыл бұрын

It does go away. You have to face it and heal it. I was a target but I won't spend the rest of my life being a victim. We have to mitigate our own damages. Nobody else can do the work for us.

This happened to me too. My grandmother and mother used to give more money and time to my brother. He used to misbehave constantly and eventually moved in with my grandmother. She bought him everything and gave me nothing! She seems to favour boys as she did similar to my mother. Now as my brother has moved away my family seem to expect me to see them and act as if I’ve never been treated like the second best child. I feel bad for cutting them out but I have to for my own mental well-being.

The "landlord" idea is precarious. It would tangle the client into the dysfunction and it will back fire if she's dealing with narcissists. I love that she did what she loved and can enjoy the benefits of financial freedom, freedom from these parents who mistreated and did not cherish her. I hope that she has inner freedom from fear and retribution and has no inclination for revenge ... as that would take her down a sad dark rabbit hole.

Good for her! Although, I wouldn't trust them enough to even rent to them. When renters become squatters, she'll have a giant mess to have to deal with that could be complicated by the fact that they're her parents.

@carolinekamya2339

Жыл бұрын

yep

I was a golden child in my younger years but in my later years I became the scapegoat without me being aware of it. I did write my NF a letter stating how I really felt about him. I then went No Contact. Yes, it’s nice to see the scapegoat win.

@CarinaPrimaBallerina

Жыл бұрын

Hi, I'm not English. Can you explain to me what an NF is?

@griceldastoneking3696

Жыл бұрын

@@CarinaPrimaBallerina narcissistic father

@CarinaPrimaBallerina

Жыл бұрын

@@griceldastoneking3696 Thanks! 🙂

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

We all say we like a nice "under-dog" story...But I always like a good goat success story the best personally😉👍🏻.

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

What great prize did you win and what was the cost

I love this story! She is 100% correct not to help the parents. I made the mistake of helping my narc parents after they showed up hat in hand, and they turned on me worse than ever after I was generous with them. There is no peace to be had with people like this.

I don't get how literal children receive that kind of treatment from their own parents. It's truly disgusting.

I moved away. Changed my name. Had as little to do with my parents as possible. Eventually made peace with my mother. But I felt an overwhelming sense of relief when my fathers coffin went into his grave. I finally knew he would never hurt me again.

@nancigaglio8459

Жыл бұрын

amen

@streaming5332

Жыл бұрын

Mothers are far worse. My father's death meant I had no good parent left.

@evelgreytarot8401

Жыл бұрын

Same

@killadjango6995

Жыл бұрын

blessings to u, he's now whr he belongs.

@aena5995

Жыл бұрын

​@@streaming5332 defiently mothers are 😢 father is enabler but atleast he's normal

She might have to go NO CONTACT otherwise it will be a lifetime of emotional distress! Be FREE and live your life!

From a non-survivor scapegoat; I wasn’t one of the lucky ones, to a scapegoat who not only escaped, but thrived… You Go Girl! I am so proud of you, because you are truly a champion 😊

The landlord scenario is as amusing as it is insane. She doesn’t owe them anything. When these narcissistic ppl ruin her investment she will be the first one to clean up the mess. Getting less involved w narcissistic ppl is typically wise.

@TheGrmany69

Жыл бұрын

guilt.

Good for her! I am so happy a scapegoate got a real victory. She owes them nothing.

Omg, I’m 2 mins into the video and I could have written this about my own life. I think karma is unfolding a little more slowly in my case…. Please do more videos about parents and financial abuse/manipulation of children!! It’s never talked about and it makes me feel like my experience is really strange. It’s a weird childhood to grow up as your family cinderella while siblings get generous gifts and financial assistance. (Silver lining is that I learned to make and invest money when I was young and now I’m financially independent for life)

@GoodWillPrevail

Жыл бұрын

I'm sorry you had to endure a poor childhood. You deserved to be cherished and loved as all children do! God bless you, sweetie.

I can relate as the third child of narcissistic parents. I lived many of the anecdotes she told here(without the happy ending). I remember when i was 18 my mother told me to not get too serious with my girlfriend and not bring her to family events because my big brother was single and he should get married first. That's when i realized i wasn't paranoid and something was really wrong about my family.

I hate how the people who are in the good graces of the narcissist can fail to see the problem in their manipulative behaviors cause it doesn’t directly affect them. I absolutely hate that one persons nightmare can be another’s angel 😭

I feel like parents like this treat kids in this manner because they think that they'll be gasping for their approval so that they feel guilted into taking care of them when thet get old. Especially, when they try to hamper their childs development. They're so evil. What ever they give her is more than what they deserve.

This poor woman. I hope she discovers the courage to finally distance herself completely from her parents and siblings. Live your life hun. Plan for a happy, healthy future.

@amyoung101

Жыл бұрын

That was beautifully put 🥰

@sigh_anna

Жыл бұрын

@@amyoung101 ❤

I think it's harder but better to walk away from a toxic family while you can. I'm no success story like the lady in the video, but I kept being a dutiful daughter despite some really unforgiveable treatment by my mom. Now my dad's dead, my mom's old and infirm and I'm stuck handling her care. Really wish I'd "divorced" my parents in my 20s.

@VictoriaWonders

Жыл бұрын

yes but sometimes we cant, I am glas i did this at 18. I had to I could energetically not bear to be around them at that age. I choose my own life and I am 200x better of than them and my "siblings" they are all very weak in charakter.

@SmokieTheOne

8 ай бұрын

I can relate. I disowned her in my 20's and only let her back in my life because Dad made some pretty convincing threats and shamed me for not respecting my mother. I don't know why I though time and age would make her less toxic but helping her out in her old age is difficult. She gave a small fortune to her golden child after dad died and now that she needs help the golden one never visits and the rest of us help knowing she won't compensate us or truly appreciate what we do. I hope thins go well for you. Good luck and god bless.

It doesn't matter how much you do, it's never enough and never appreciated. I am coming into my 70's, I too was treated like garbage, the scapegoat. My older brother, a doctor, told me that I would never be anything, because I could not get through a math or science curriculum. I continued on to become a teacher, not making much money, so by fluke, I opened my own business, and became very successful (doing better than my brother). It was when I was eleven, my father had died, and my brother told me, that he would never help me, and HE DIDN'T. In my heart, I only wanted him to love me, and respect me, a task impossible for a narcissist. When we got older, I became the sole caregiver to my mother, my brother and sister became "the visitors" they were "living their lives". I guess, my mother felt that I was never entitled to one. After my mother passed away, my siblings felt that everything was theirs, they never had enough,no matter how much they had. My conclusion after 70 years, it's a no-win situation, there is no thanks at the end of the line. Made up guilt is their tool of choice. Your tool and weapon, to know in your heart and soul, who is telling the TRUTH! KEEP YOUR INNER PEACE!

My childhood self is sadistically laughing at the parent’s misfortune 😅

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

You're just laughing at them reaping what they themselves have sown,don't feel bad😉👍🏻.

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

sick puppy

My mother is a narcissist and was abusive when I was a child. She kept food from me to the point I was diagnosed anorexic as a child. Now as an adult I have a very good sized house and my husband and I live comfortably. She makes comments about how big my house is like I should share it with her. Nope. She complains about her current housing when she’s avoided working her whole life. I don’t feel bad about it, sorry. 😊

@littlesongbird1

Жыл бұрын

Sounds a bit like my mom. She refused to work for decades now complains about where she lives (and this is after she was in a shelter, you'd think she would be happy to not be there anymore) and expected my sister and I to take care of her when we got older (she begged me to move in with her when she was 50 saying, "I'm 50 you need to take care of me." she tried to convince my sister to get a place with in law suite for her, etc. )

@stacyq7656

Жыл бұрын

@@littlesongbird1 yessssss exactly!

@Rabbithole8

Жыл бұрын

@@littlesongbird1 Take care of her at 50! What a princess.

@llamasugar5478

Жыл бұрын

SNS, bay-bee!! ☺️

@GoodWillPrevail

Жыл бұрын

These narc parents don't realize they will one day grow old and need help themselves.Sorry state of affairs!

Beautiful poetic justice ! As a only girl of 7 siblings all boys I was never shown love affection or validated. I eventually made it as a athlete winning the country title I live in and becoming a tv actress and film stunts woman in two major academy award winning films . I still struggle with the fact I lost half my life to never being able to be confident until I was in my early 40s because of that experience. when I hit 49 I cut my entire family off and relatives . I realised they were the problem and I was just trapped in a family dynamic of cold abusive males my mom suffered for it so much now when I look back that she always said her favourite was one of the boys , never me as a only girl, it use to cut me deep when I heard her say that, I was only 13 when she would say it too. My dad never acknowledge me either and on his death bed all my siblings never showed me the will and shared the will between them. I will say I’m happier now, but still struggle to trust which causes issue with me trying ti have relationships or friendships. Yep it’s lonely sometimes , but I have gotten so use to it I’ve normalised being alone and see it as healthy. I now realise It also explains why every-time I try to form a relationships they turn out ti be narcissistic or bipolar, which is another reason Ive just given up and cannot be bothered trying to meet Someone, although I always look in hope.

Nope. This girl doesn't owe her parents anything! This is the best story ever! Just made me smile.

Soooooooo gooood. I had always wondered if any other parents do the same, now I can totally relate. My mother hates me for being capable and able to more than take care of myself, and she said I must share my gain with my lazy incapable entitled stinky stingy brother, and my father says I must try to help and look after my brother. I am planning to kick them out of my house. They have been living rent free chore free in my house and didn’t not want to move out for the last 7 years. This story is so damn good it gives me hope.

@mindovermatter2day

Жыл бұрын

Don’t let them dim your shine and yes… cut the gravy train. They will never approve of you.. no matter what you do. Come to the other side with us fellow scapegoats and find your tribe. ❤️

@alexmorgan3435

Жыл бұрын

Evict them. They are freeloaders who are holding you back. Better still sell your house and move away.

@ichsehnursoaus

Жыл бұрын

i wish all the success to your plans to kick them out and also the best life without them

@seabreeze4559

Жыл бұрын

go to a local lawyer and do it properly so they can't sue, if they're not paying rent you can look into changing the locks while they're out and check if that's ok where you live

@enraegen561

Жыл бұрын

what?! chore free?!! rent free?? I mean I understand maybe letting go of rent for family, I would for sure, but to do their laundry, dishes, clean and cook?!! what do they think you are, a slave???!! A housekeeper?? Oh boy kick them out sweetheart, and go no contact, if you can... You will feel so much better. I hope you have the means to do this...

I am the scapegoat of a narcissistic mother and an alcoholic step-dad who hated me. He retired at 40 due to investing in rental properties so I was able to see some of the pitfalls of being a landlord. I appreciate the turning of the tables on her parents but I can say without a doubt that her being the landlord gives her parents leverage in the situation. In my state, the laws are set up to protect the renters and it takes months and many thousands of dollars to evict and during that time they can cause tens of thousands of dollars of damage. Parents like that will definitely use the legal system to abuse again and she will not be able to just walk away. I think she should just buy the house from the bank once it's foreclosed and give it to her little sister!

@kathrynpassmore5425

Жыл бұрын

Frontier, that is a most brilliant idea!

@kj7653

Жыл бұрын

Sounds good, but it will put the little sister in an awkward spot. The parents will then guilt trip the little sister. Now she will get all their wrath and manipulation. Unless the sister has broken away from the abusive parents by her own free will and actions, the parents will continue to hold sway over her.

Love, love this story. Please whoever you are don’t fold due to their guilt tactics. Cancel them out of your life…. They effectively did that to you.

I can relate to this story to an extent: my mother had me on her own at a young age and could provide for me with difficulty. My grandparents were very kind and generous to me, their first grandchild at the time, while my mother held me in contempt and would often express jealousy. I felt unworthy of love for a long time, but I have learned that a parent's struggle to go through their own life doesn't mean I have to be unhappy my whole life as well

As a fellow scapegoat I too love this story. NTAH!

@keithstewart7514

Жыл бұрын

Ditto🤯

@chipchippie

Жыл бұрын

BAAA! NYYAA!

I think this is the most satisfying AITA I’ve ever heard

I LOVE this story so much. My past is very similar. I was the scapegoat, the one who worked for them in their business and at home and never received an allowance while my brothers did not and were not expected to contribute, they received money for college educations, all kinds of consideration and kindnesses even though I was the one who got excellent grades and did well on the SAT's, etc. When I got on with my life (finally) and created wonderful opportunities, for myself, learned other languages, traveled, etc., they were ALWAYS resentful, jealous, demeaning, demanding... My siblings and I are well into middle age now, almost senior citizens, and my brothers basically became thugs who STILL continually need more handouts. I'm also expected to give to them because , well, I have more. Just NO. And no contact no matter how they try to guilt me!

“Being the bigger person” is the line my narcissistic sisters have always used. Translation “if you give me what I want I won’t throw a fit”. My parents paid for everything for my two youngest sisters because “they’re girls “ and “they never got anything”. Thanks Dr Ramani.

This is such a satisfying story! Wow, the parents feeling entitled to the result of the help they didn't give her...LOL (Personally, I don't think becoming their landlord would be a solution; it would actually turn into a nightmare. Sounds like they would feel entitled to free rent. )

@dakoderii4221

Жыл бұрын

They are probably like my dad. He always says "My genes!" when talking to others about my accomplishments that he could not successfully slander. A good father would say "The hard work raising you has payed off" but since my dad did zero "raising" of his children, he must resort to "My genes! My genes! My genes!" 🙄

@suzannepatterson3445

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. They wouldn't pay because they already feel entitled to her earnings.

@HYTELES

Жыл бұрын

Right! We all know those parents would come up with excuses not to pay and destroy any ability she may have to go no contact which we all know is the best way to gain some peace within.

@HYTELES

Жыл бұрын

@@olive0eyes0 I think one of the best ways of getting back at abusive parents and grandparents is to not have any biological children and remind them about their abuse every single time they bring up the subject. 'I am so proud of never having children! I would never curse another innocent soul with the kind of rotten family I was unfortunate enough to belong to.' Keep rubbing in every sing time and they will think twice about giving you the guilt trip.

@sharonthompson672

Жыл бұрын

THANK YOU. 👍 I said the same thing.

Charging them rent sounds like a mess… then what does she do if they DONT pay up on the rent? My experience says stay away from narcissists. Avoid the entanglement. The blessing of being the scapegoat is that scapegoats are forced to gain their independence where the other kids rarely attain it bc they were always bailed out by the parents. Scapegoat sibling often struggles with survivor guilt for no longer needing the narcissist or making it about them. Guilt twisted with fear of being punished for not making their life & their efforts about the narcissist. I moved away and did a lot of therapy and still was surprised how quickly I fell back into toxic patterns when I moved back home to take care of my mom after her stroke. Unappreciative and demanding. Would question if I left the house for any form of social life. Questioned if I went to a baseball game as if I did something wrong…as if I wasn’t allowed to go out because she no longer could. I think she should not make her parents problem her problem. I think she should consider reestablishing herself/move farther away/remove herself from the toxic energy and take care of herself. Surround herself with people who respect her. Focus on building her life -and stay in therapy to overcome the twisted thinking that comes with narcissistic abuse. That guilt is a big issue. Still working on mine. Just saying… Blessings.

@amyoung101

Жыл бұрын

💯

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

It's always a mistake to help or associate with a narc no matter who they are...I've got a narc Dad & I couldn't care less if the 🚹 rots🤗.

@gemgem5401

Жыл бұрын

💯💯 Im also scapegoat .I hope I can build my own beautiful family/tribe .Im still struggling 😢

@t1sg

Жыл бұрын

Check out Maslow’s hierarchy of needs with a therapist

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@waynes4369

Жыл бұрын

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@charles2395

Жыл бұрын

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@jackfinnva2409

Жыл бұрын

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@martinmomu9141

Жыл бұрын

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@betheluktu7647

Жыл бұрын

@@martinmomu9141 Please how can I contact Mr fergus ? I really like what he has done for you, and I also want to benefit from it.

My mother knew I was homeless and living on the streets and she didn't lift a finger to help me. She actually had me arrested. If she was facing homelessness I wouldn't help her.

Outstanding for her. Great job! Love it! I'm scapegoat as well. She's not the A hole

The parents would be the tenants from hell. Ugh!

Awe,"a safe place to go" had my eyes well up with tears and I thought to myself, "I miss my grandma so much" right before you mentioned grandparents. I lost my grandma last year. My mom's the narc, and her mother was my safe place. My grandma was my sanctuary from the storm of life. My grandmother was the only person in my life who always thought I was "good enough" just as I am. I was NEVER the black sheep in her eyes and she seemed to be the only person in my family who stood up for me against her daughter (my mother). My mother would try to forbid her from helping me when she'd kick me out and my grandma would tell her she was wrong for that and then ask her how in the world she turned out to be so hateful. My Grandma was a fierce protector and the kindest, warmest, most tenderhearted person I've known. My gratitude for her presence in my life is immeasurable. Thinking of her tugs and pulls hard at my heart, I can feel the grief stuck in there. She was my very best friend. I've thought about her every day since she's been gone and I know myself well enough to know that I will grieve her, celebrate her, and deeply miss her for the rest of my life. I am also grateful for this channel and Dr. Ramani for helping me navigate through my own thoughts and feelings. This black sheep appreciates all the help and guidance you offer.

I love you, Dr. Ramani. "Karma's a b*tch."

Give narc family money, bail them out? NO! NO! NO!

This is an awesome story. You reap what you sow!

@cathy1430

Жыл бұрын

Yes .. reap what they sow. Then blame you for it.

No , Let them fix their own mess . Let her focus on thriving

What I have learned through many decades of dealing with a raging, manipulative narcissistic mother, no contact is empowering. For the past 2 years, I feel stronger without her drama and demeaning behavior. Thank you Dr. Ramani for sharing this story.

Young lady, you have done a fantastic job!! Keep on being fantastic. Don’t prevent karma from serving the abusers. Let them do whatever it is they would do if you were living paycheck to paycheck. 👌🏾

@MsRainbow1983

Жыл бұрын

LOVE this comment! “ Don’t prevent karma from serving the abusers” oh gosh I am going to pin that on my wall! Thank you!

@malwads1836

Жыл бұрын

Beautifully said🙂👍🏻👍🏻.

If she bails out her parents, how will they learn. The problem with narc parents is that they see children as extensions of themselves. They never see their kids as individuals because they are too involved with their own never ending needs.

This was such a nice video to watch ❤ Here’s to all thriving scapegoats out there! My narcissistic parents discarded me three weeks before my wedding when they did not get their way … it was over some dispute about food. As usual my father wanted me to apologise to my mum as she is afterall my mother. Been doing that since I was 5. This time though, my husband and his family could see right through their emotional abuse and backed me up soo strong! I had never had that much support before so it was so confusing but amazing. Of course they started a smear campaign on my side of the family but every single one (aside from my narcissistic parents and golden child sister) turned up on my wedding day! As far as I know, my sister is completely supporting them financially and is very proud to do so as they have always fed her ego as the ‘good child’. Little does she know that she’s being financially abused. It’s been rough but I am thriving!

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

People who identify themselves as a scapegoat aren't thriving, at all

My youngest stepdaughter was treated as an afterthought because her mother wanted boys. The older stepdaughter was treated as a golden child because she was really book smart. The younger stepdaughter got her accounting designation and a BCOM and has had a successful career as a CFO. The older sister got really fat, says she’s handicapped, can’t work and lives in government subsidized housing . And just as you said, the younger daughter is being pressured by her mother to help the older daughter with her sons education. The older sister always looked down on the younger and treated her like crap. The younger daughter told her mother no…

Dr. Ramani, your videos have a beautiful way of making me both laugh and cry. Thank you for what you do 🙏❤️

@sonnyca

Жыл бұрын

Never seen someone laugh and cry at the same time. 😄

@m.p.6447

Жыл бұрын

@@sonnyca 😆 genuine understanding with some humor after decades of invalidation and abuse = laughing and crying together ❤️

@elenachristensen4143

Жыл бұрын

I agree, i enjoyed this one so much! Still laughing)). Her help is priceless

Oh God, this really hit home. My sister got a car for graduation. I had to buy my parents old car. My sister is two years younger than me. I had to drive her to school every morning, using my car, with my own gas money. The reasoning my narcissist mother gave for giving my sister everything, was that she was "easier to get along with". They also bought her braces for her teeth, not me, new clothes every year for school, not me. She got an allowance, not me. She lived with them until she was 38. I wasn't a bad kid (I was the scape goat). I was told by my mother, she loved us both but like her more (yes, seriously she said that). Mother's justification for saying it was that she's honest and blunt. All parents think that but aren't honest. I should be grateful for such an honest mother. My dad wasn't a narcissist. He was co-dependent and very much the 'peacemaker' as he would say. My therapist would say 'people pleaser'. My mother would also throw out, in the same breath that she loved us both, that I would never find anyone who would love her as much as she did. 😳

@kalicanterbury8085

Жыл бұрын

We heard the same messages! SMH. In addition to the above, I also got, "I hate you" from my mom. As an adult I questioned that. Her response? "I told you what you wanted to hear."

@alexmorgan3435

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like your Dad was a Flying Monkey.

@FutureFendiFsnista

Жыл бұрын

@Kali Canterbury What?! Who wants to hear that from anyone, let alone a parent?! I'm so sorry she said those awful words to you 😞💔

@LSMH528Hz

Жыл бұрын

That reminds me of my dad saying he was going to buy me a car if i got my drivers licence. of course he never did. Simply because of the fact i had other career plans then he envisioned for me. I view it like he tried to pay me like a whore to do his bidding and didn't keep his word when i got my licence. It's how they try to corrupt people by buying them which usually turns out to be future faking. I never did get much support form him, he was a cheap ass who in the end spend it all on himself and left close to nothing when he passed. Good thing i went no contact with him in my early 20's, but I take no pride or enjoyment from doing the right thing for me.

Your PRAGMATISM is a revelation. You're right. I am TIRED of being the "better man" and enabling toxic people through absolving their bad behavior. All they ever tell us to do is "forgive." I feel damaged, but I am tasked with living with it and I accept that. My goal is to treat people BETTER than my psychos. Thank you. Keep feeding us you dear dear woman.

One thing I’ve never understood is how kind and loving grandparents raised narcissistic parents, these parents seem to have the sweetest grandparents and I’m always just like how 😳

@jamesrutter4100

Жыл бұрын

By spoiling them rotten then cutting them off. THEN justifying bad behaviour and defending them

I am wondering what effect the scape goating has on character in adulthood? Does it tend to support resilience and independence, at least more than being the golden child? This was the case in my family where I as the scapegoat saw thru my parents at a very young age, knew that they were shallow and manipulative whereas my brother (golden child) even into middle age was still emotional dependent on our parents for support, validation, etc. My brother has grown up to be very narcissistic,, a bully who uses threats to communicate and quickly alienates everyone he comes in contact with. My parents have both recently died and he is very lost without his two biggest enablers. I am increasingly grateful that I was the scapegoat because from a young age, I looked beyond my family for love and support - the silver lining?

Great story. Good for her!! My story is similiar but parents haven’t come to me for financial help “yet”. Parents wouldn’t help me go to college. Knew nothing about student loans back then But they would sign me off to get married at 17. Oldest sister was 16 and middle sister was 15 and pregnant. They signed papers for all of us to get married at those ages. “Don’t need a college education to get married and have babies “ was my mothers mantra. I wanted to to go into the military. Nope. No place for a lady. I wanted to go to programming school. Nope. Don’t need it to just get married and have babies. All 3 of us have been married multiple times. I was the one who was always made to be the bigger person when my mother wouldn’t talk to me for years. Or my sister would physically attack me. Or my other sisters husband beat my dog with a baseball bat. Yea. Be the bigger person. Right? Have moved to another county. Don’t hear from any of them. And don’t bother contacting them much either. Visit parents few times a year as they are in their 90s but since I’m never invited to any family bday parties for them I just called it quits. Thanks Doc. I needed this one.

@TheGrmany69

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People usually don't realize how violent these families could be behind doors.

That girl already IS the bigger person in the story. There is no way to go lower than her parents.

She sounds wonderful. Her parents should be ashamed, they are lucky that produced such an amazing daughter. Supporting them sends the wrong message that bad behavior gets rewarded

What a great story and great woman. I agree with some of the commenters that she should NOT do ANYTHING for those parents - she does not need the stress and abuse of these bad people trying to shame her for renting a place for them - she should just get away fro them.

I like her realistic boundaries because they would find a way to manipulate her and drain her mentally, emotionally, and financially. She's not the a**hole. She just knows their patterns and what they will do. I wouldn't save the home if I were her, because they can be vindictive and burn the home causing financial burden. She's good, leaving it as is. She has no reason to trust them.

“ that was then this is now” Priceless. Absolutely priceless.!!!!!

As a mom it absolutely blows my mind that even one let alone both parents can do this to their child. It is disturbing and disgusting. I think she should buy the house and evict them. Argh

As a scapegoat I love seeing other scapegoats succeed too! She is lucky to have other family members not participate in the Scapegoating. And her parents didn't smear her and keep her away from potentially helpful family connections. I wonder why it's so common for cluster b's to hate their daughters. I was first born and my parents always told me no. If I asked for anything I was a spoiled brat and I never did enough to "earn" basic items. If I was given allowance it was 5 cents. Meanwhile at school my friends would tell me they got $20 per chore. My brothers were always told yes. And eventually I was used to fund everything for them as well. Are they grateful? Lol no. I hope she let's them have to figure out their own issues. Just like what they tell us scapegoats.

@chanellover2143

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Me too I literally cheer hearing about a scapegoat win! It’s the best!

@TheGrmany69

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So true about the Cluster B's.

They would not pay her rent. It would just prolong her abuse and trauma. Let them figure it out on their own.

I was in this womans position. Raised like Cinderella watching the steps have a glorious life while I worked... at moms business, cleaning the house, babysitting sibling, etc. Unfortunately, the narc abuse continued (partners) until a few years ago. She is such an INSPIRATION with how she became a success. Bravo! God bless the grandparents/ aunt. I laughed so hard with "buy parents house, charge rent!", that the dog came running from the other room! LOL. Brilliant. They gave her life. Period. Their choice. She survived and thrived without them. NO WAY would I give one red cent to them. Not because of vindictiveness. Because she is NOT responsible for their choices. AND, I've learned, that some narcs purposely go/ stay broke so that people can give/ "loan" (never paid back)/ etc. (ok, a little bit vindictiveness... lol!) Isn't it like giving the guy who stole your car.... a car.. because he needs one? They tried to steal her soul while feeling powerful. My fear is... once she "donates" to them, they'll never stop asking (bullying/ guilting) until she's bled dry. It's the superiority ("one up") narc thing. You CAN'T be richer than us!" AND, there's the narc belief "what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine". Oh hell no!

buy the house & rent it back 😅 I'd literally just said that out loud, but, put a management company in charge so they're held accountable!