Writing is more helpful than talking. This is the most important thing Anna has ever told us. She & others are right. If you were silenced when young & being abused or neglected, it is hard to talk. Writing gives you something to concentrate on whilst you write to yourself to allow yourself to have your feelings out.

@sjpercy1334

2 жыл бұрын

Totally agree. I also believe writing can allow you to express yourself without fearing judgement or the need to censor yourself 💛

@kimlec3592

2 жыл бұрын

@@sjpercy1334 Exactly.

@siennaprice1351

2 жыл бұрын

I feel like there’s a certain way to do it though. I don’t know how to do it though. Do you write down what your fears are, and your resentments are along with the fears or something? I feel like I could do it though, even though I’m blind, I still could do it.

@phabulous1614

2 жыл бұрын

@@siennaprice1351 There is no right or wrong way to express your feelings in writing. Just start writing. You could write something like: this feels stupid writing out how I feel, and take it from there. The important thing is that your feelings are being safely expressed (getting your thoughts and feelings out), and only you know how you feel. Hope this helps. 😊

@siennaprice1351

2 жыл бұрын

@@phabulous1614 ok. Thanks so much.

it's embarrassing and then after being triggered I later feel shame and guilt and then I "forget" what they did wrong and it's all my fault and that is why we stay in these b.s. relationships cos we think it's all our fault when they behaved badly and didn't care. When we learn to love ourself - we are never alone or unsupported again. We learn to love ourself and reparent ourself and then we can support ourself as we walk ourselves through life with positive kind self-talk 🙂❤⚘We are allowed to be our best friend and cheerleader.

@vyoletrose3218

2 жыл бұрын

Beautifully put Ms. Jen, thank you for sharing these thoughts. I sure needed to see this. I wish you lots of love and healing ❤️‍🩹

@Shay-wl4lx

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this❣❣

@ShadaeMastersAstrology

2 жыл бұрын

Perfectly stated!!

@reason4being868

2 жыл бұрын

Well said!

@elizabethfreshour4828

2 жыл бұрын

That's beautiful. Thank you

I’m 70 years old and after years of therapy and self-help programs, today I learned that what I’ve been dealing with my whole life is emotional disregulation. Wow! Well better late than never. Great video!

@wendi2819

Жыл бұрын

Right there with you. Same age and everything! I isolate a lot because I m so afraid of blowing up or else imploding trying to interact. It's exhausting! ❤️

@KJ-lb4tj

Жыл бұрын

Mmmm... Although I'm sure you always knew that you were not in control or able to control your emotions. It's simply a term to describe what you already knew, which is all a 'diagnosis' is. The difficulty is practising enough to get good at not reacting at the beginnings of overwhelm or panic or extreme anxiety or anger....

@lisaa3978

Жыл бұрын

@Tomasino Romano I’m your friend, Tomasino. My entire youth was wrong on every level too. It’s painful to even read books because every book seems to evoke a painful memory or memories.

@maryellenholtzman6943

Жыл бұрын

Me too 73

@musicismagic3001

Жыл бұрын

@Tomasino Romano - I totally get it.💕

Today KZread helped me realize that I am not depressed, I am not “bad”, I am emotionally dysregulated due to PTSD. Something I always suspected but didn’t know which words to put to.

@markmattingly2929

Ай бұрын

Yes yes emotional factors are real prevalent in PTSD and complex PTSD. I wish I would have spent more time just trying to understand the tools that people were offering me! instead of being so stubborn and saying nothing would work!! Because stuff like this channel does work, You just have to listen contently to the people who've been through it. I've been complex PTSD since childhood I'm 62 and still battling today! And I'll keep battling keep that in mind and never forget it. No matter how hard you think it's going to be You've got to keep going, You've got to never stop talking about mental health! ESPECIALLY YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH it's channels like this and people like us that bring a light to the importance of mental soundness and stability. I've said it again and again if you're not mentally sound than your body is not physically sound your mind must be well for your body to be well. And whenever the PTSD snake sneaks up behind you and starts to really really bother you, That's when you got to put on the boxing gloves and say I am stronger than you Mr PTSD! I know that I may never find a cure for my mental challenges. but I learned I can manage it. And to me that's A GOOD THING! AND VERY IMPORTANT.. There's no one that's going to fix anything but you. There's no one that's going to make it better but you. Trust me I know this I have been through a lot of therapists throughout the years and I've been through good ones and I've been through bad ones. I do know that the good ones are the ones who have guided me in a different direction THEY HAVE HELPED ME GREATLY! I don't see this as any terrible mental condition anymore like I used to. I started seeing it as a unhealthy obstacle that was attempting to control my thoughts so I refused to let the emotional connections be disturbed by something that could very well be with me the rest of my life, no cure for PTSD yet ! The biggest favor you can do for yourself and the most that you will get out of it is watching channels like this young lady who runs this channel. She's very well versed in PTSD she has been through it she still has it she manages it just like I do. Please don't get me wrong I'm not telling you that I am healed and cured that's not what I'm saying because I'm not that would be a lie and I do not want to lie to anyone that is going through PTSD It is pure hell it is the devil himself. So what do you choose to do when the devil keeps knocking on your door You open your door and you punch him in his face and you say hey mister PTSD devil You still got me but not completely! EACH BABY STEP THAT YOU TAKE FOR YOU, IS JUST THAT IT'S A BABY STEP THAT YOU'RE TAKING FOR YOU AND NOBODY ELSE! CUZ THE LITTLE BABY STEPS THAT I HAVE HAD TO TAKE TO GET ME TO WHERE I AM HELP ME A LOT IF YOU PICK AWAY A LITTLE BIT WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU AND GET INTO THAT REALITY WITH YOURSELF YOU WILL MAKE IT SO MUCH EASIER PROMISE PEACE OUT NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH!!! I SURE WONT!!!

@rooyajabarkhil5260

Ай бұрын

@@markmattingly2929 Great points, thanks for sharing. You have to be your own hero, nobody is coming to save us.

@markmattingly2929

Ай бұрын

@@rooyajabarkhil5260 You're exactly right young lady exactly right and I know trust me I know what you're going through and if you need to talk to anyone I'm I'm on here a lot I don't generally comment a whole lot but when I see people that are you know hurting I want to help because at one time you know I didn't know where I was going as a disabled veteran with everything that was wrong with me and now at least I've got the arrow pointing down the right path just go slow please just go slow Don't go out there and and and rule your existence and your mental challenges all at once it will never work baby steps remember that take care Peace out

I’m 6 minutes in and absolutely amazed that I have finally come across someone who explains my emotions without making me feel absolutely insane and neurotic… even after seeing multiple therapists over the years. THANK YOU!

@cindylouhart6945

3 ай бұрын

❤ keep your chin up

@charlagarth926

3 ай бұрын

Big fat DITTO!❤

@SandyBee-313

3 ай бұрын

This!!

@lunalyric9569

Ай бұрын

Omg, me too! I was thinking “how did this lady get into my head!” 😲

@ashleyannephd

17 күн бұрын

I agree, sometimes all it takes is the right connection and the right point of view.

"Trying to solve problems when you're disregulated is kind of like driving drunk." Good analogy!

@amaniyoussef3393

6 күн бұрын

Yes, exactly, very well put, need to remember this

What sucks is you get labeled as crazy or a bad person, which reaffirms all these bad beliefs you have about yourself in general.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Free course 'Daily Practice' is a big help with that problem, link in description section. -Cara@TeamFairy

@temaerdhlamini4616

2 жыл бұрын

This is true. My partner left me because of my constant emotional disregulation. And I wish he was patient with me cause I’m not crazy

@ARA-ee9yr

2 жыл бұрын

What helps me tremendously is use all those emotions and not associate them with „me“ It‘s not my fault. Basically shifting the blame effectively. You suffer from blaming yourself. Look at who raised you, who tried , or who didn’t. Perhaps they failed Take an honest look If you see that they actually made huge mistakes while raising you. You can blame their bad parenting (Not addressing your parents or caretakers, speaking in general) This way you can use the blame in a better way, in order to push these people away. That‘s how I deal with it

@karabecks1

2 жыл бұрын

You also get labelled as a format if you pretend it doesn't matter that someone has let you down

@cindy7733

2 жыл бұрын

YES!!! So true!

“It’s not your fault you got this way.” I bawled. I needed to hear that. Thank you so much. Just subscribed.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

@jeproductions3229

3 ай бұрын

Ironically that is in and of itself an overreaction 🤔

@susanna-

3 ай бұрын

@@jeproductions3229 Part of the healing process! :) I wish you well.

@kiraemmett573

3 ай бұрын

Same

@amberg4131

3 ай бұрын

I've been told I'm bipolar. But the truth is my last ten years of my life changed so much and I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I'm in therapy I'm getting counciling. I'm working on my issues and taking meds. But the best part to handle a lot of my bad memories ptsd caused, was talking about it. Eventually they get easier to bring up and talk about it. The hard part is remembering what words I chose to explain this bc one wrong word and my entire trauma comes back out. There's new things I need to talk through again to replay the record over and over until my brain gets it right that I shouldn't be this emotional. It's all past events; I can't change what happened. In time I hope the tape finishes and it thing doesn't skip anymore

Damn that’s crazy 10 years of therapy and I have never been told about emotional disregulation

@jefesalsero

3 ай бұрын

As a therapist myself, I can't emphasize enough the importance of emotion regulation. I believe that may be the most important skill a human being can possess - acknowledging your feelings, being in touch with your feelings, and being able to appropriately control one's emotions. Much harm can come from lack of emotion regulation and our prisons are full of people who allowed their emotions to control them. One of the first things I do when I begin working with a client is assessing their level of emotion regulation - this is high priority. Emotion Regulation and Distress Tolerance are frequently the starting points when I begin working with a client. Some clients come into therapy with a good degree of emotion regulation and that's great, however many do not and need emotion regulation to be the focus of treatment, at least initially.

@NN-fz4pd

3 ай бұрын

Therapy is useless

@laptitefleurverte

Ай бұрын

​@@NN-fz4pdagree

You're not suppressing your feelings, you're postponing your feelings until you're more regulated. Contrary to popular beliefs you don't have to talk things out to get regulated ❤️

@TheQueenRulesAll

Жыл бұрын

I agree, don't always need to dissect why, just that it happened and need to get back to steady.

@SRose-vp6ew

Жыл бұрын

I do need to talk things out, but not in the moment. I don't even need to talk it out with the person, I am just a verbal processor and I need good council to help me self-reflect. However, 19:09 Everything that needs to be said should still be said. We need to be careful not to avoid needed conversations, so we can talk about it when READY and able.

@sheriedwards362

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, before meditation and yoga, I thought talk therapy was the only thing that existed. Hahaha hahaha 😆 It never really helped much...other than me telling me what was wrong and a book my therapist recommended.

@penelopeasmr1009

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes, talking things out is best done in your own head or in a journal.

@deborahmoreland1334

Жыл бұрын

Bottom line cannot move forward living in the past!!

I call it the "Ocean of Emotion" as I've always felt it like a tsunami and I become lost in the sea

@kimlec3592

2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes getting lost is your mind's way of keeping you alive. Some things are too much. Just too much.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Beautiful analogy. - Ashley, Team Fairy

@i2ndsight

2 жыл бұрын

Oh honey baby darling sweetheart it's OK. May God bless you and keep you and yours.

@ksy4747

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely relate! I get lost in that too whenever i feel too much pressure or shame of any kind. I get swallowed up easily and fall to the bottom really fast. I painted a whole series of different waves last year to try and deal with the overwhelm that I was dealing with at the time..

@socol76

2 жыл бұрын

I concur, I call it my tsunami of pain and anxiety.

Ouch. I have emotional disregulation. My mom is a narcissist and I was the scapegoat. And each and every time I had a disregulated emotion (from the constant abuse from the entire family) the first thing she would do would be to scream at me to calm down...that I 'didn't have to get so angry' about things. It's a special kind of pain to have an honest reaction devalued by not only your parent, but your siblings. Wow. This meant a lot. Thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

3 ай бұрын

That must have been incredibly hard. I'm so glad you're here now, we're all sending you support :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@Jay-ql4gp

3 ай бұрын

Thank you! @@CrappyChildhoodFairy

@krissyflips1

2 ай бұрын

I definitely can relate and it hurts

@pamelalawhon3536

2 ай бұрын

My story exactly. My mother holds huge grudges while telling me to “get over it”.

@tinas1629

Ай бұрын

Omg! You are my emotional twin! Lol

Video Summary : - Emotional dysregulation isn't always about not feeling what you're supposed to feel; it's often feeling too much. - Emotional dysregulation can lead to extreme emotional outbursts or emotional flatness, both of which can create new traumas. - Emotional dysregulation can lead to intense reactions, fueled by past traumas, and affect relationships negatively. - Managing emotional reactions involves noticing, slowing down interactions, and using techniques like visualizing a 'belly knob' to regulate emotions. - Avoid sending messages or having conversations when emotionally overwhelmed; instead, postpone discussions to regain composure. - Use paper as a therapeutic tool to express and relieve overwhelming emotions before engaging in important communication, allowing for a healthier dialogue. - Develop self-awareness and the ability to recognize emotional dysregulation as a trance-like state, allowing you to gently pull back and regain control before engaging in conversations. - Practice patience and wait until you're emotionally regulated before engaging in important conversations, allowing you to express yourself with clarity, fairness, and love.

@mfhdhf

7 ай бұрын

Thank you

@TexasStardust11

7 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@delphina5538

7 ай бұрын

Thank you!🌟

@robbiemocko248

7 ай бұрын

❤ thank you❤

@babyanjel1875

7 ай бұрын

Thank you sweetness 🙏💞

I've only recently learned to tell myself, "I'm all up in my feelings right now. I'd better not respond to this until I feel calmer." It's really helping.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

That's great! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@greyladydamiana

Жыл бұрын

I’m going to remember that. In the army we’d say not to get “all spun up” about something.

@clarebonetree9339

Жыл бұрын

This first one is the hardest for me

@cloud6318

11 ай бұрын

Anyone else if there alone just completely let go

@L8txxx

10 ай бұрын

How can you tell when ur in your feelings sometimes I can’t tell :(

I have been living with this for 15 years. My grandmother bless her soul, did what she knew. She was verbally, emotionally, physically, and mentally abusive. I was terrorized as a lot of us African/ Caribbean kids were. We were told to shut up, we were scolded when making normal mistakes kids make, we never heard I’m proud of you, I love you. I’m so messed up, reactive, impulsive in my adult life. I’m always in fight mode, I’m exhausted, it’s exhausting.

@akc1739

Жыл бұрын

I didn’t have this experience but reading about yours just made me want to reach out and say I’m really sorry. That sounds terribly hard. Please take incredibly good care of yourself. You deserve it.

@HillbillyYEEHAA

Жыл бұрын

I had the same experience with my nan. She used to treat my sister better than me. She would gang up with my mother and they'd both hit me. But it makes sense why my mother, my aunt and my uncles are the way they are. The best we can do is break the cycle.

@lalap9848

Жыл бұрын

@@akc1739 thank you for the kind words, trying to unlearn all these toxic behaviours is hard but im trying❤️

@lalap9848

Жыл бұрын

@@HillbillyYEEHAA we will be the ones to break the toxic cycle, love you 🙌🏾❤️

@rd8676

Жыл бұрын

Oh my God I can so relate! My dad took off on us, at 6 yrs old. (the whole entire family ) We grew up, poor & so of stress and my mother was very toxic. It was either screaming and yelling or ignoring nothing else. I never did anything school wise after curricular activities and I’m athletic too. She never took an interest to anything I did in life ever and it’s tough having a relationship with her now …she’s miserable in her marriage and she lashes out and I’m not even allowed to have a stepfather the guy she’s been with for the past 30 years. He literally can’t even call me on the phone. She she has completely blocked that relationship from me. She’s actually told me that I’m not deserving of a father. I’m 52 years old and I’ve decided now I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want her in my life because when people meet her they like her because she jokes and you know when you’re talking about nothing or the animals everything’s great, but she doesn’t go deep and then of course when I break up with the boyfriend as inevitably when that comes, she wants to stay friends with them yet I can’t even talk to my stepdad. I have brought up little bit to her like how she’s always cutting me down and she flips out and tells me I need a shrink (when she’s never had any help herself yet she tells us she has and she’s actually refused it with my stepfather they had one appointment with someone and she walked out of there, bitching about how wrong the therapist was, and never went again. She hates men and she’s tried to push that on me my whole life But what I’ve decided is this course really resonates and I don’t want her in my life and I’m going to speak up we’ve gotten many fights over the years but I’m planning to move to Florida and when I do, I’m going to let her know how terrible it’s been what she’s done And I know she’s going to lash out. She won’t able to handle it because she lives on one-way street and NEVER looks at herself or if she does have a moment it never lasts But it’s played a big role in me self sabotaging my intimate relationships because I’m dealing with this crap from my childhood you know it just comes out. I get so insecure and jealous and everything and I never feel like I’m good enough. Just thought I’d share because it’s tough and I think besides what she has. I think it’s good to be able to help others and get out of ourselves as well as much as possible. ❤

I am a 58 year old retired nurse (due to disability) and I have alienated so many co-workers and friends because I used to have emotional outbursts and arguments with them at work. I am now disabled and use that as an excuse to isolate myself at home. I’m single and have no friends because I don’t trust myself anymore. Almost every time I have a stressful doctor visit, etc; I find myself tearing up trying to explain why I’m there. I have learned so much and have started to learn that I can regulate my emotions. I hope maybe someday to have friends and be able to have somewhat normal rest of my life… Words cannot express how glad I am that I’ve found your channel!!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad too! Your symptoms are SO normal for someone who has been traumatized. If you can let that in -- just know it's not your fault you struggle like this, a huge weight can be lifted. All that energy that was going toward shame can be used to notice and heal the triggers that set off the dysregulation -- and then the trauma-driven behaviors. You are definitely in the right place!

@joelynmoody7070

11 ай бұрын

I've done this also. But am married and a grandma.61

@sheila50

11 ай бұрын

Oh I wish I could be your friend. I'm 59 & your situation is so similar !!!!

@Portia620

10 ай бұрын

You deserve to be happy! It can and will happen! Get yourself out there meeting peolel! Be real with people you trust! The right ones stay!

@reneezig7109

9 ай бұрын

❤❤

“The sense of urgency is a sign you need DOUBLE the time to regulate” this is SO TRUE!! The most helpful thing I’ve done in my life recently is let go of the idea that I’m always right when I feel right. Life teaches you that you can be 100% certain of something and still somehow be wrong.

I have cptsd and adhd. The emotional disregulation combined with impulsivity can be a volatile combination. Plus, being neurodivergent, I struggle with social conventions of interactions in the first place. Relationships of all kinds are so hard. You hit the nail on the head with the sense of urgency. I've only recently realized that when triggered I feel like a child in danger, frantically crying out for rescue, safety, comfort, reassurance... what my family should have given me, but didn't. As an adult I am not given these things when I am triggered either. It further reinforces the belief that others do not see me as worthy of care, that I am a priority to no one, that my needs are always a burden to others, that everyone expects me to betray myself for their benefit, that I will always be betrayed or violated under the right circumstances, that everyone chooses me last. Then the loop starts over. I need to protect myself, which I do by lashing out or withdrawing completely.

@attababy_

Жыл бұрын

This comment, I’ve never felt more seen.

@barbarahusek6224

Жыл бұрын

Oh wow, JH. This is exactly how I feel so often. This is my hurt, angry eight year old. Then, when I try to stick up for myself, I feel like a kitten in a sac--frantically fighting, but getting absolutely nowhere!

@captgraybush2890

Жыл бұрын

I am a survivor with cptsd and other mental issues associated with my diagnosis. I know where you are coming from. Right now, I am in emotional dysregulation. I feel like the little boy frantically reaching out from the dark place, hoping someone will grab my hand and pull me out. I know what it's like to be discarded or called a burden. Those people are the ones who are going to miss out. We are loyal to the core to people once you have gained our 100% trust. But once you break our sacred trust. We may never trust you again. We have to have people willing to be patient and understanding of our disability.

@lamme527

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying this because it sounds like me exactly .

@ariloves10

Жыл бұрын

Wow it's a club! Love explosive!! Hugs n kisses kittens 😸 😘 💕 ♥️

“Solving problems dysregulated is like driving drunk” . 💯 !!!

Notes: 1. Acknowledge your emotional reaction ( I'm having an emotional reaction) 2. Slow down the interaction: consider your words, take your time to say things, knob visualization, restraint of texting; sense of urgency= double time needed for re-regulation. Pause for 30 min, an hour or tomorrow. 3. Emergency writing 4. Exercise 5. Practice being in your body/mindfulness 6. Vent to someone neutral

@saumyasharma7436

10 ай бұрын

@@frankuvlkan do you know I can see your comment history? You literally copy pasted this comment to 35 different women. Either you are a scammer who's trying to make money off of vulnerable people or you are a h*rny old goat. Either way shame on you. If you are retired, get a hobby instead of trying to hit on women one third your age.

@chaa7659

7 ай бұрын

Thank you! ✨

@jenifercrowl

6 ай бұрын

Thank you. Took a screen shot

@roxywahab205

5 ай бұрын

Thank you I've also taken a screenshot ❤

@sassy61

4 ай бұрын

Thank you 😂 I she kept losing me 🤦‍♀️ screenshot and saving it to my screen ❤

When I was 16 I started writing letters to the people who had hurt me, and never gave them the letters. It was a very secret behaviour that I felt embarrassed by. I'm now so proud of young me for finding a way to self regulate. I'm 43 now and last year while moving house I found this little nostalgic shoe box of unsent letters ❤

@lanalana-lf5nj

3 ай бұрын

This reminds me of me when I would write letters to my mom as an attempt to communicate everything I couldn’t at the time, except I would give them to her only for her to eventually refuse to accept them or even read them. Big hug to you and me 💕

@libbypaige6160

3 ай бұрын

@@lanalana-lf5nj the first of my letters were to my mother, though I was never brave enough to give them to her. Hugs to you from Australia 🤍

This is a common problem of Trauma victims: anger outbreaking suddenly. I appreciate it if you say more on this topic.

@angelaholmes8888

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah for years I have suffered from sudden outbursts of rage stemming from the abuse and trauma from my childhood

@kimlec3592

2 жыл бұрын

@@angelaholmes8888 Thank you for writing this. it helps me know my Dad was trauma affected.

@kimlec3592

2 жыл бұрын

@@skywatcher7272 no, not just you. all addictions, obsessions, excessive feelings - so many had so much to deal with - often in secret.

@MsShutterbug777

2 жыл бұрын

My daughter does this it does drive a wedge between us. Im watching these videos as to understanding of the cpstd issues and her and to recognise respond and cope with it her and myself.

@leopardface1

2 жыл бұрын

I never even really made this connection. I used to have these horrible outbursts when I got upset or frustrated, I would end up either screaming at the top of my lungs because it felt like these emotions were fighting to get out. Or I'd end up throwing things. Luckily I've managed to calm it down and I don't throw shit anymore but I do still feel uncontrollable rage at times and I never thought it might be my CPTSD.

The comments sections in these videos are always so eye opening to the fact that I am not alone. They are their own form of therapy. ❤ thanks everyone

@empittman1

3 ай бұрын

Yes!!

I'm a bit more than half way through and realize how damaged and damaging I am. It's so challenging to be always there for myself.

I was diagnosed with bpd (borderline personality disorder) so my emotions are always intense. I turned to alcohol to cope and basically screwed my life up. I'm sober now and have been dealing with my trauma for a while. Never thought I'd feel happiness, or like/love myself, but I do 😘

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you're finding happiness and love for yourself. Grateful you're here! - Ashley, Team Fairy

@salma_Nella22

2 жыл бұрын

I never thought happiness was possible. This makes me want to cry

@mariemiles7287

2 жыл бұрын

@@salma_Nella22 it is absolutely possible! Xx

@salma_Nella22

2 жыл бұрын

@@mariemiles7287 how long have you been happy?

@mariemiles7287

2 жыл бұрын

@@salma_Nella22 started feeling real happiness in therapy which I had in 2013. I had just done 18 weeks in rehab for alcoholism, I'd relapsed and needed help. The counsellor was a lovely lady. Told her some shocking stories , but she made me feel safe. Saw her for just under 2 yrs as she had to leave. I also did cbt group therapy everyday except Sunday and went to an alcohol recovery support group a few times a week. I had no one so I really needed them I have got my family back in my life now though. Its real happiness I feel now, not all the time of course, but it's not that fake happiness you feel when drunk. X

The crying is the hardest for me. I don't have outbursts. I don't say things I don't mean. I've learned not to react to the emotions from a behavioral perspective. In the moment, I can cognitively recognize that this is a disproportionate reaction in my body. But....the crying! I can't stop it. Any strong emotion will make me cry.

@arudachyk

9 ай бұрын

Me too, I just cry 😢 so embarrassing

@mustachegurl1714

9 ай бұрын

Same

@Valentinal0ve

9 ай бұрын

Ugh. I cry when I’m mad too and can’t control it. I don’t say anything, just cry. I’m not sad or scared. I guess I’d rather cry than get physically violent.

@patriciaalbertson5183

8 ай бұрын

Me too

@panasado7886

7 ай бұрын

Me too! I don't even say anything but then my crying gets misinterpreted as an attention-seeking behavior, manipulation tactic, or tantrum. (Might be related to my autism, though)

Emotional deregulation is sooo like a trance-like state, you hit the nail on the head. It's so difficult to snap myself out of it early enough.

@jmfs8738

4 ай бұрын

In my college days, I was so unaware of my unreasonable reactions that I’d lose friends and never know why. Still no memories of those scenes. Crazy what the mind will do to protect and reject real or imagined threats.

@kayleensouth7263

Ай бұрын

Same

For anyone watching this who cries when they’re frustrated/upset in any setting…I just wanna say, the turning the knob on your belly concept really works. I put it into practice. You will still get teary eyed(even maybe one tear will shed)/sniffly but somehow you’re able to keep the tears from flowing out intensely. I think you should still cry in your alone time though. Don’t hold the tears in. Just saying it works for public settings/situations

Before I was "conscious" 3 years ago I had learned all my life to surpress all my feelings as the consequences of showing any emotion, however fleeting, was dire. When I learned about what had actually happened and that I was traumatized and had cPTSD the opposite happened and I felt the emotions so intensely, often times I could barely function or even think. The difference now is that I have learned to be very gentle with myself, acknowleging that I'm disregulated and there is a reason for that and I just stop what I'm doing and take a few moments to breathe and calm myself down. If I'm alone I will talk to myself out loud as a supportive parent would do with a child who feels confused and bewildered. It takes practice to remember to do this but I try to act quickly and calmly and it usually works

@carlottak4496

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely, this. At the beginning of my own process of “re-discovery” my past and the abuses, I dreamed of my 3yo self. She was glowing and so cute. She ran into my arms and I cannot explain how deep was my surprise in realizing how precious she was. I felt love for the first time, and it was almost unbereable. So the memory of her helped me tremendously when I finally was able to afford EMDR therapy, and today I still “pick her up in my arms” and soothe her everytime I am able to notice my own signs of distress (still not easy, but getting there).

@leahohlund6469

2 жыл бұрын

I love this! Thank you so much for sharing. Definitely going to try the supportive parent self talk.

@saraibloomquist4827

2 жыл бұрын

That's what they mean I think when they talk about reparenting yourself. I'm working on this myself and it def is helpful! Because if I imagine me being one of my kids i approach things way different!

@mugakamurakumo

2 жыл бұрын

@@carlottak4496 Ohhh...I wish I could do this with my 3 year old self...I think the age of 3 is when our parents realize we're not what they wanted us to be and that's where the trauma might have begun.

@carlottak4496

2 жыл бұрын

@@mugakamurakumo I wish the best to every version of yourself pal

I feel it’s important to remember though that our behaviour - emotional dysregulation, doesn’t excuse others. Like the example given of the husband being late, if this is a common behaviour and he’s always doing things like this then that needs addressing too. I had this issue and when I admitted I had a problem over reacting he took it as me accepting full fault and he took zero responsibility for his part. It was like I had given him golden ticket to no longer accept responsibility for any of his bad behaviour.

@Jaxmusicgal23

Жыл бұрын

I agree. The problem is is when the other person doesn’t want to admit to their issues or put them back on you or even worse use their emotional outburst to the end of the conversation so that this can’t be resolved in a simple way or start blaming you and show you how it was your fault that they were late. In a normal relationship talking about habitual wrongs should be easy, but in dysfunctional relationships, it turns into a whole different argument.

@justice4all977

Жыл бұрын

You were dealing with a narcissist. If that's the case they will use anything to justify themselves and blame you. Those types are never ever safe

@lesliedavison1725

Жыл бұрын

One thing I learned in therapy is to think of something someone is or isn't doing and ask myself "would this piss me off even if I was not having an episode?" If indeed it would, I no longer allow my partner and children to blame their bad behavior on "my overreacting". I try not to anyway...

@donwalker117

Жыл бұрын

Right!

@hollandgem2

Жыл бұрын

I have noticed that in few relationships also. I noticed that if I’ve overreacted or done anything that I think hurt their feelings, I will apologize and I have no problems with that. However, I noticed most people don’t apologize for their part but are happy to accept my apology. I find some people don’t want to take any responsibility for any part they may have played in something that does create a strong reaction. I started backing off people who never feel like they do anything or take any responsibility. There are people who will not own their part in anything. It’s almost seen as a weakness by some people when you apologize because then they can remain in their power because they don’t want to humble themselves.

I think you are the only person that has ever mentioned shame around dysregulation. I'm a psych student now, too. I haven't heard it there yet. I know this well. It lasts for a long time. It attacks your mind and tells you you're a broken, terrible, annoying, frustrating person to be around. I like the guidance here. I wish I knew more about this earlier. Maybe some relationships would have worked if I had this under control (or knew about it then). Thanks for all of this support. I think it'll make me a better therapist one day too.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 ай бұрын

Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy

I didn't ever realize my emotions were so messed up until this video. I thought it was just me as a person. I have learned to hate myself after 34 years of these irregular and mostly inappropriate outbursts. It's good to know it isn't my fault...and also that I can change it. Thank you

@marioct130

4 ай бұрын

I get it... and I have finally learned to mostly love and accept those aspects or behaviors that used to bring me into shame.

1. Notice and say "I'm having an emotional reaction." -flooding with emotion, adrenaline, panic, starting to cry 2. Imagine a belly button knob of 1-11 of emotion. Dial it down from 8 to 2. 3. Slow down the interaction -take big pauses, take your time to speak 3.2. Tell the person you need to take a break, but this conversation is important to you. 3.3. If you're angry, *don't write*. Take an hour-- (or two, if it feels urgent). Come back after you've used your introspective writing or physical activity tools. 4. "Emergency writing" to put emotions or fears on paper. 5. Hard exercise or Physical grounding techniques -run up and down stairs, brisk walking, wash your hands, splash your face with cold water, shower, etc. 6. Talk it out with a third party only if it's not adding to the dysregulation. Otherwise, return to the writing. 7. I would add that, if you're having an interpersonal conflict, you need to separate the emotional reaction from setting boundaries. For c-PTSD survivors, conflict feels unsafe, so we think we need to lash out immediately in order to protect ourselves. Reach emotional regulation (it's okay if it takes a couple days, at first). Then, decide what boundary was crossed and what it should be (in order to protect yourself). Then, plan what you're going to say (which may also take a few days, at first). And then, have the boundaries conversation so you can see whether this person will respect your boundaries or not. If they don't, that's a big red flag to distance yourself. If they do, or want to negotiate the boundaries, you know they're willing to work with you. Take responsibility and acknowledge anything that you also need to work on (apologize, if necessary), which will show that you want to work on things together. (But don't take responsibility for their actions, reactions, emotions or thoughts. If they're an adult, they can handle themselves.)

@goldenchipmunk

Жыл бұрын

what's a belly button knob?

@taradonelson9242

Жыл бұрын

@@goldenchipmunk She says to imagine a dial at the center of your body, like a volume button that you can turn up or down. Instead of turning down the volume, imagine turning down your emotions (until you find time to deal with it)

@heyyitsjude

Жыл бұрын

Why would it be a bad decision to write about it?? #3.3 “if you’re angry, don’t write”

@taradonelson9242

Жыл бұрын

@@heyyitsjude She means don't write a text or email in anger. That's an easy way to make mistakes and damage relationships. Take some time to calm down, first, so you can think straight. Then, write your email or text or talk with the person. But if you're talking about writing in a journal, that might be a good way to help process the situation.

@alyssaleatham8544

11 ай бұрын

Im stuck at 3:2. My neighbor is a bully and breaks aren't allowed.

My father gave me some great advice for this type of situation. Get up and go to the bathroom. When you say you gotta go to the bathroom it buys you time and if the urgency shows right in your face no one will stop you 😭

@Gamerheirs

Жыл бұрын

Lol

@TEQSUN68

27 күн бұрын

That's awesome, I'm gonna use it.

“Have you done that?….I’ve done it.“ Knowing that the person trying to help knows because she’s been through it made me drop my defenses. Thank you so much. May God bless you.

@autumnishotterthansummer

6 ай бұрын

I love her voice and delivery. It makes big things easier to talk about because she makes it seem so simple and coversational.

@NewChapterVintage

4 ай бұрын

I wish I could find a group (local-in person) to watch her videos and discuss them. I get so much out of them and feel like discussing them (like a book study) would help me really absorb and put the techniques into practice. I’m terrible at regulating and organizing my time-that’s why I say “in person.” If I have an in person commitment I keep it. I guess I also feel others in my life would respect it and not see it as something I can be flexible on. I retired, and I don’t feel I respect my time, so of course others don’t either.

00:02 Emotional dysregulation can be more damaging than being out of touch with your feelings. 02:08 Emotional dysregulation can lead to harmful behaviors and create new traumas. 04:00 Emotions can lead to emotional dysregulation, causing conflicts and relationship issues. 05:56 Understanding emotional dysregulation helps in managing and expressing emotions effectively. 07:48 Slowing things down reduces overwhelm and helps regain perspective. 09:46 Take time to emotionally regulate before expressing yourself when you're angry. 11:40 Writing down your emotions can help in healing emotional dysregulation. 13:38 To improve productivity, express overwhelming emotions on paper or through physical activity. 15:36 Emotional dysregulation can be overcome by developing self-awareness and using tools. 17:21 Avoid discussing your trauma in detail when you are already upset. 19:06 Waiting to express emotions until you're regulated helps with emotional and brain regulation. 20:47 Talk about feelings at the right time and place

@elife8306

3 ай бұрын

thnx a lot

I was diagnosed with CPTSD and had zero therapy. I have lived in a dark bubble for years now. Gave up all my friendships because I couldn't control my emotions, I got tired of "accidentally" hurting others when I was in an episode. You get it! I am so using the tools you gave in this video..I'm so relieved someone gets it. I'm very self aware, but have very few coping skills.

@talitherose

Жыл бұрын

I had all the coping skills in the world, then started to go blind and lost them all. Finding new ones was hard. Took years. Now I’ve seemed to have lost them all over again by caring for a kid.. is it a lack of time? space? predictability? who knows, it I’m on a recovery path yet again ~ My point is, don’t give up. Its worth it, finding your coping skills

@tomsdottir

Жыл бұрын

​@@talitherose You've been dealt some very tough breaks, and you take the time to care for others and to encourage others. I'd say you're an exceptional human being.

@jasminebains1594

Жыл бұрын

@@tomsdottir this is the kind of support we all need. Thank you❤

@maryebner

Жыл бұрын

Yes I get it …. Same here! 😫

@YeshuasLuVd1two

Жыл бұрын

Same here I too have CPTSD and am vegan hyper aware with ADHD and when old coping methods don’t work, new ones seem to help. I’m in the process of rewiring my neural pathways and Tony Robbins book Awaken the Sleeping Giant within is an excellent book to learn about it. The science behind our neurons firing off old pathways of bad behaviors can be closed by creating new ones❤

I was raised and emotionally abused by a narcissist father. My older sister was a narcissist too. I’m 55 yrs old and I still can’t be in the same room with a narcissist; they trigger an explosion of white hot anger in me. Currently doing EMDR and it has helped tremendously thus far!

@theanonymoushelpline7248

2 жыл бұрын

I’m going to be having EMDR next month

@vanessathompson7886

2 жыл бұрын

Have you heard of the group ACOA? They are wonderful and supportive for people who was raised by narcissist

@kellyeads2703

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been thinking about trying that too… thank you for sharing that it’s helpful

@tinkwinkles

2 жыл бұрын

Great comment, I'm going to start EMDR next week. Glad to hear you're receiving help from it.

@krisstewart7926

2 жыл бұрын

Where are you doing EDMR?

My husband triggers me terribly and, for some reason, I feel like I can let it fly with him, even be mean, but not with others. He deserves better from me and I'm here on this channel to work on that.

@lizl8107

7 ай бұрын

Same here. For me, it’s because he is supposed to be my safe place and then i feel betrayed by him because he wasn’t for whatever reason. When she spoke of making the situation worse, that’s me. I definitely can just feel the moment/day ruined but it’s my feelings out of proportion. This video is so spot on why I act the way I do. Good luck to you in your own journey ❤

@SheynneDavis7723

7 ай бұрын

Same here . I don’t know how to regulate this feelings

@SheynneDavis7723

7 ай бұрын

@@lizl8107I feel you 😢

@lovingjesus5184

2 ай бұрын

These triggers mentioned or one reason that I have never married again after a short 2 year marriage. I always said I don't trust myself and I don't want to be abusive to another person that I'm living with. I'm 68..pretty lonely from isolation and seemingly unable to keep my opinions to myself which seemed to really trigger people LOL

@Sparkle835

2 ай бұрын

@@lovingjesus5184 Maybe you could invite someone to meet you for a cup of coffee somewhere or breakfast or lunch at a diner. Just for some food and conversation. It's not a forever thing, just a couple of hours.

I just love how she smiles and is so genuinely, lovingly, here to help with all this wonderful information. A ray of sunshine, she is! ❤

I always feel so ASHAMED after I get emotional. Everything feels so real. I hate feeling so intensely. I find if I start thinking I'm am safe, my body is safe I can help get an emotional grip. That my body is not reacting correctly and amping me up.

@sandrab8848

2 жыл бұрын

I could have written the same exact thing!! I hate being like that too! I try to think about something else to help me regulate when it's happening, but it's like when the river flows it's too late 🤦‍♀️

@siswdeen

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks 😊 I will try this

@juleadunn4047

2 жыл бұрын

i have the same issue. What works best for me is to closer my mouth and not say anything until i am calm. If I have to speak at all, I am noncommittal and say as little as possible. This gives me time to regulate and find the best response. I hope this helps.

@siobhan5661

Жыл бұрын

Me too!

@1963luv

Ай бұрын

Freesara, that's me also.. I'm feeling so ashamed 😢😢😢

When I get emotionally dysregulated I have to remember that when anger takes over, reason takes off.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

That's right! -Cara@TeamFairy

i dont like hearing things like this because it's so real. i feel like i got hit by a bus sometimes after coming down off a wave of anger and ofc it's always something small. the dog peeing on the floor, my gf asking one too many questions right after work, my coworkers swearing at me, etc. ive learned to control my tone and volume but i am still really working on the intensity of what i feel but man, i never don't feel exhausted after the feelings dissipate.

Her description is so on target. She is here because God knows she can help people like me. She is an angel. Emotional Dysregulation is a problem that I've had for years and now I can start control it.

YES! I never got it how "just talk about your feelings" works for other people, for me it only makes it all worse, it's nice you talk about this too. Also, in my experience, writing *that* email, text, letter, does help, just don't actually send it.

@i2ndsight

2 жыл бұрын

At one point I worked for a very rude boss who went on a spiritual retreat every month that taught him to let out his feelings. He sure did. He was a rage-a-holic.

@elvansavkl7972

2 жыл бұрын

yes, true so true.i always wanted to talk but it does not work.

@Iquey

2 жыл бұрын

Yup. I don't talk about my feelings much unless it's with safe people. The cut is deep, when it comes to people being careless with my emotional intimacy. I talk to my feelings, not about them.

@1darkcrystal369

2 жыл бұрын

@@Iquey This overload of feelings is me. It's always triggered by someone or over stimulation. It's getting worse the older I get and because people in my life are definitely getting more abusive, the world as a whole is more abusive. They tend to turn everything around onto me. They will say something I feel is uncalled for or inappropriate and when I actually speak up about or if I'm upset about it then I'm told "it's a joke," "drama queen," or that I should care about their feelings.

@hissyfitz7890

2 жыл бұрын

I have written an encyclopedia of things never said or sent because I NEVER wanted to lower myself to HIS STANDARD.

Back in the days when people commonly wrote to themselves in a diary, or just a notebook, on paper, for themselves, they were able to deal with the strong feelings of the situations in their lives ... Many of us need to attend to ourselves in this way as whether we have people or not, we need to explain & explode in a safe way, on the page, in order to maintain calm with others. Texting others is fine. But when you're really upset, text to yourself first. Then send a calmer text to another later, if you still want to. We often crave understanding from others. The great thing is we can give that understanding we need to ourselves, through writing.

@thecommunity1102

2 жыл бұрын

Unless you have a toxic family... mine found my journals where I would word vomit and express my strong emotions (both positive and negative) and they weaponized my vulnerability against me. And even got others outside my family to put me through narcissistic abuse...

@kimlec3592

2 жыл бұрын

@@thecommunity1102 : Ok, then you can write, rip, bin. or store it elsewhere. Most of us here had our privacy invaded in this and in many other ways. Write it & chuck it if you have to.

@thecommunity1102

2 жыл бұрын

@@kimlec3592 I agree

@i2ndsight

2 жыл бұрын

@@thecommunity1102 I remember regretting everything I wrote for about a decade. I sure hope this passes easily for you towards your best health and activity.

@i2ndsight

2 жыл бұрын

@@kimlec3592 What do I do if I like to burn old papers and reminders? We have a screened burn pile that saves having to keep replacing shredders.

The flatness after a big outburst works both ways. Sometimes after a very wonderful, intimate, connecting moment with my partner, I feel numb and dead and dark inside. It's not always negative experiences that are dysregulating. Sometimes positive experiences are dysregulating, too.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Yes, that is true. And we suggest the same remedy :) bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice -Cara@TeamFairy

@victoriamakhmaltchi3177

11 ай бұрын

This describes my last fiance

@alexabuesking626

7 ай бұрын

I can definitely relate to what you said right here and I want to add onto this that coming to this realization sometimes makes it worse because you start to wonder if somethings wrong with you

@KimCarter

7 ай бұрын

OMG! You’re so right!! I’ve had that problem too since I was a teenager

@KittyfishKayde

3 ай бұрын

Wow, I’m in an unconditional, loving, supportive relationship for the first time and this has been so mystifying to me. I feel this huge surge of joy and love and connection for a few moments and then nothing. I think part of me fears the inevitable loss of the positive feeling and doesn’t let me feel too much of it, because it’ll be worse when it’s gone. 🙁

“Don’t underestimate the damage you can do when trying to solve problems while deregulated. It’s kind of like driving drunk.” Needing to hear that. Heard it.

Oh my gosh!!!! You hit the nail on the head when you said ‘it stems from not being heard as a child.’ My mother was an absolute monster when I was small and I tried to tell my dad (who knew but hid in a cloud of weed)and my extended family members (who were scared of her themselves). No one listened, no one did a thing to help. So now as an adult I stand up for everyone who I feel is suffering in silence or who isn’t being taken care of. I also stand up for myself now. When this ‘protector’ mode is triggered my ‘plane takes off’ and it’s REALLY hard to come back down. Lack of sleep, the 2-3 days before my cycle begins, and stuffing stress for too long are the worst things for me. I know I’m fixing to go off when I feel a tight pressure in my head and I get weepy. Those are alarm bells when I need to walk away for a good while. I now save my vacation days for those times. It’s a rough way to live though.

@GayleCreates

Жыл бұрын

You're not alone

@virsapiensfortisest922

Жыл бұрын

@@GayleCreates Thank you. I’m sorry you suffered/suffer as well :(

@GayleCreates

Жыл бұрын

@@virsapiensfortisest922 my body just wants to collapse some days from trying to hold it together. Other times it doesn't want to comply with what's good for me. Like staying in uncomfortable situations when i need to walk out. I don't know when I'm being too hard on myself or when I genuinely need to tell myself that this isn't the way to react or respond to this situation. When I'm stressed out, It takes me days, months and in the past years to recover. It makes me sad that it's a pattern I still have till today. It shows up as me being tired, lethargic, obsessing over what's not in my control and a racing heart/headaches. I wish I could flip a switch to make me not care.

@virsapiensfortisest922

Жыл бұрын

@@GayleCreates Every single thing you described is so relatable!!! I struggle in the exact same ways and with the same thought patterns. I know it sounds weird to say this, but I think there is some comfort in knowing we’re not the only ones out there going through this. I too have wished I could switch a flip and just not care, but I’m reminded that the fact that we DO care is what makes us special. It’s our gift and our curse at the same time. Its sure hard though :(

@GayleCreates

Жыл бұрын

@@virsapiensfortisest922 I think its important to surround yourself with people that love you for you, and not what you do for them. It also important to do one thing for yourself in the day( be it ordering food from outside, listen to your favorite music, calling a friend, reading some jokes) and lastly the third would be to ask yourself, if you had one thing to achieve in your life at this moment, what would it be? Write it down and do one thing to chase that dream. I believe a combination of all of these 3 things makes the process of life a little easier. What I can say is, don't give up! Your thoughts arnt you and we got this!!!

This is the first video on trauma I was able to watch without being severely triggered. Thank you for the calm and empathic tone. ❤

@passionfruitprincess

Жыл бұрын

This is the problem I'm having too. I'm listening to Anna & Patrick Teahan but it's triggering me & I can't stop the tears :(

@anweshakar146

Жыл бұрын

Omg tone is so important. It changes everything

I lost my wife of 47 years in August 2023. The loss has caused several mental and physical problems since.I have been watching your channel and much of what you are talking about is so true on many levels. We were very close and several times during our military and my law enforcement days and injuries, my wife actually saved my life!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

6 ай бұрын

We're so sorry for your loss. Glad you are here. Nika@TeamFairy

I'm 66 was sexual abused from 13 years from stepfather started at age 3? 5 of age. Physically and emotionally abused by my mother. Would say It's been a fun ride. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior 16 years ago when I was 50 And that's what saved my life and made my life tolerable. I've decided it's time to work on myself and I'm so happy and so blessed that I found this channel. Thank you for everything you do. God bless you.

@courtneykern9276

3 ай бұрын

I'm so very sorry that you went through that. ❤

@lovingjesus5184

2 ай бұрын

Ty Jesus! Would be nice to hear His name mentioned more often in these comments😏 lots of pain.

I think it's also important to stop trying to communicate with narcissists. Once we have confronted any type of narcissistic behavior and they refuse to own it, it's pointless to pursue a relationship with that person. That's really hard to do if we have trauma bonds, but learning who to walk away from and when to walk away is the first step in breaking trauma bonds and setting healthy boundaries.

@teresarichmond9736

Жыл бұрын

It's bad when it's a family member that you HAVE to be around on a regular basis!

@SikhaB

Жыл бұрын

Yes but avoiding a narcissist even if they're a family member is best for our mental health. But it seems like they don't want to leave me alone in peace. I don't know when I will finally get away from them permanently.

@juniper5438

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely! It can be very hard because they can be very charming to get you, as their narcissistic supply, back on board.

@rosesolorio81

Жыл бұрын

@@teresarichmond9736 sometimes we have to let go of family even if it hurts

@sarahblunden4372

Жыл бұрын

A couple of weeks ago my neighbour banged on my door and shouted at me for throwing onions in the communal garden. I had been living next door to him for a year with no problems but in June/July the noise started after 10pm. His lounge is next door to my bedroom. As I live in supported living I spoke to staff and three times in total he was spoken to regarding this and I felt he was just sticking two fingers up at me and carrying on. He had also responded about me putting smalls on the line. I started to feel awkward around him and we didn't speak for a while but then he would speak to me again until he kicked off at me. The trouble was I was having a bad morning as I'd had some bad news and when he shouted at me I shouted back called him a narcissist and swore at him too. I felt unwell for the rest of the day. Now I think why did I even answer the door? why didn't I say I can't talk about this now? Thankfully we have managed to stay out of each others way since then.

I wish this were taught and retaught in school curriculum. I was stunned to take PSY 101 in my 30’s with what I learned. People need this information much earlier - getting to be too fractured a society, kids need the tools now to deal with all the traumatized adults who have no tools themselves. Humans are dying for no reason because they can’t do this.

@sharonthompson672

Жыл бұрын

Yes! I was floored in high school psychology class when they showed the monkey experiment and compared to babies in orphanages. When infants and children are deprived of affection. They ROCK themselves. Self soothing.

@g.flesch9731

10 ай бұрын

@@sharonthompson672 Yes Psych 101 it was horrible to see what happens when you are completely ignored so young. Humans need unconditional love as infants & children. So do animals. We are all sentient beings.

Recently I have been encouraged that it is never to late to learn, that God won't give up on me and therefore should not give up on myself at the age of 70. This lady speaks with compassion and kindness - exactly what we all need to help us believe in ourselves. I have been desperate to get others to understand, but this advice confirms why it is not necessarily possible or helpful to find that kind of support within our family or community. Thanking God for the tool of KZread and this type of virtual community when used with wisdom. Thank you so much

I was born with emotional dysregulation. I remember as a child feeling intense emotions and noticing other children were so chill.

@Rachel-kg2cw

4 ай бұрын

This sounds like a poor attachment. In healthy infants the mother and infant are attached and the mother assists the infant to regulate their emotions.

@Lily_of_the_Forest

4 ай бұрын

@@Rachel-kg2cw my mother was very devoted to my brother and I so it was not due to maternal neglect. I had strep throat as an infant with very high fever. The hospital staff put me in ice water baths to bring it down. Wonder if the high fever caused brain damage. That is all I can think of. Or something went wrong in utero.

In my case was never anger or aggressivity but the social awkwardness. People could tell when I was sad, humiliated and in panic or I would not react in a “normal” way according to social norms. Awkwardness I think is the most common image we give.

@soniachambers6460

2 жыл бұрын

Yup🧸

@helenhettinger-hayes

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@Megan-xc5do

2 жыл бұрын

Oh YES! I love that you said this because that is 100% me too. Agree Agree!!!! Still am a bit. I didnt and cant read a room, read people well, control my face or my reactions and im completely unfiltered and lack approprote tack or fear. I didn't get the friendship rules or social cues... and I often reacted wrong or weird. I didnt get boundaries either. Im lots better but it took a chronic illness to wear me out physically lol and disconnecting from those that fire me up and were toxic. The target-my husband typically happened around the toxic people or about them. Lots have been solved but dang-I wish she would address this!! Thank you for this validation!!!!!

@tablescissors67

2 жыл бұрын

@@Megan-xc5do Very insightful comment!

@daisyr.bontrager9556

2 жыл бұрын

And I hate how extremely jumpy I am:/

Trying to emotionally regulate myself makes me feel like the other person is "winning" and I've "lost", yet again. That's what causes the problem for me. If I let it go, I'm hugely disrespecting myself and they're "getting away with it."

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

That's resentment, and Anna has a technique for that bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

@miss_bhello7925

Жыл бұрын

It sounds to me she was saying it isn't about suppressing/letting go of your thoughts and feelings, but learning to pause and cool off to where you can have a calm, beneficial, truthful conversation about it with others.

@anyascelticcreations

Жыл бұрын

I don't know if this will help in the slightest, but it's an experience that I had where I felt like I actually won. I'll share it just in case it helps. I was newly dating a guy who completely went off on me with his own emotional disregulation. Normally I am triggered by people acting like that. But this time I chose to take the high road. I just let him say his stuff and vent until he was through. I added no reaction of my own which added no fuel to the fire. And that allowed me to keep calm. But I wasn't doing that submissively. I was doing that in a very calculated way. I was listening to what he said and the way he was saying it in order to learn what kind of person he was. And based on what I saw, I was deciding what I wanted my actions to be. What I saw was that he was not the kind of person who I want to be involved with. I have enough struggle regulating my own emotions. I seek peace in my life because of that. I do not need someone in my life who has anger issues of his own. That is not something that I am equipped (or willing) to deal with. I realized by calmly watching him go off that he was not the right man for me. When he eventually vented himself out I responded. I calmly told him what I had been doing while he vented. And I told him calmly what I had decided. Basically that I didn't need that in my life and that we were done. I didn't feel even slightly like he had won by my having kept calm. I won. I kept quiet while he vented and then I calmly delt the final blow. I have never felt less like a passive victim in my life. I realize that not everyone is in a situation where cutting the other person out of their life is a good choice. But there is probably some action/decision/calculated response that can be found while calmly watching how the other person behaves while they vent. And I feel like it will carry more weight if it is calmly delivered at the end. And that kind of response to being vented on allows us to skip getting all riled up ourself. Yet without giving our power away. I think we actually gain power by dealing with the issue like that. I don't know if that will help anyone at all. Or if that's even good advice. But I felt good about how I handled the situation. So, maybe something similar will help someone who reads this. I hope so.

@isabelpersson4862

Жыл бұрын

@@anyascelticcreations hi there, this comment resembles so similar to my own situation and has brought me to tears. If you’d be willing to speak with me more about this I’d love to hear more of your thoughts as I’m really struggling with this at the moment and I have so much respect for your strength. Much love :) x

@anyascelticcreations

Жыл бұрын

@@isabelpersson4862 I'm so sorry that you are going through something similar now. I don't know if I'll be able to help, but I can try. Thank you for your kind words, too. I think my strength in this type of situation comes from my complete willingness to walk away. It means that ultimately I hold all the cards. Though, I don't know what I would do if I was in a relationship that I wanted to keep. I guess realistically I hopefully would only want to keep a relationship that didn't have an issue like that. This is part of the reason why I am very determined to become financially stable without the help of any man. And am very resistant to the idea of living with anyone again. I was in dependant situations too many times and for too long. That gave me absolutely no power in any situation at all. Because when it came down to it I couldn't leave. And they knew it. Which meant that they could be as horrible to me as they wanted and there was really nothing I could do about it but complain. And complaints that weren't backed by an ability to leave just made them enjoy being even worse to me. So, I'm not sure how to behave so calmly without an ability and willingness to end a relationship if it is not worth keeping. Though if we brainstorm maybe we can find areas that we do have power short of that. I'm sometimes better able to see situations clearly if it's not about my own life. Maybe I will be able to see something that you can do to find peaceful strength and calm. I'm willing to try. 🫂

As a person diagnosed with BPD late in life, emotional disregulation has been an almost daily occurrence. I knew that something must be wrong, but I never knew what the “it” was. It has cost me several important relationships due to the rage followed by guilt and shame cycle. Just learning how to become aware and apply these tools has made an enormous difference!

@BBBNESSA226

3 ай бұрын

How do you keep up with life, how do you not give up and keep trying hard every day. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m so tired of failing and messing everything up. I’ve tried so many things. I’m 37 years old and I get overwhelmed so easily. Diet and exercise has changed things for me a little because I have more energy but I still need to push through bigger changes. What has really worked for you?

@sebastianliwinski222

3 ай бұрын

My ex gf was on this spectrum, it was too much for me, along the way I developed Hyperthyroidism,lost 18 kg in 5 weeks, I had to leave I could not take it anymore!

When you said emotional dysregulation is like a trance, something clicked. I feel the same physical feelings during an emotional dysregulated meltdown as I feel when I have an anxiety attack. Not to disregard or lessen the realness or anxiety, but for me, I’m wondering if when I am able to regulate my emotions, will my anxiety diminish/improve. God, I hope so. I’m so very tired of living like this.

I never knew the outburst with the flat emotionless end result was a thing other people experienced. I have been searching for help in this crazy cycle. You hit my situation spot on and I'm so thankful for this help.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

So glad to hear this, and I suggest trying this free course to go further bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

@christianbritton1362

Жыл бұрын

I’ve never heard anyone describe my emotional ups and down so spot on. Strong overly-emotional reaction to a situation, then shame and shutting down, which just makes me feel worse and worse, and probably makes the cycle happen more frequently.

@mrnasty2757

7 ай бұрын

This is me as well. After an outburst I feel hollow inside. I know I need to control my rage, so I continue to work towards that.

It’s important that your partner is able to validate, understand and take responsibility for how their actions made you feel. If they feel that you’re always overreacting and you don’t, it’s probably not a good match. If you know without anyone telling you that you overreacted, that’s different.

@hatchcurtis5776

Жыл бұрын

My partner is amazing at this and has helped me heal so much!!

@samaraisnt

Жыл бұрын

Yes BUT the biggest problem is people who say things like "I'm sorry you feel that way/I'm sorry you're so emotional but that's not my fault" which is not an apology, it's shifting blame for feeling emotions (like hurt). IMHO those people are not good partners... To anyone, but especially someone who has suffered trauma! If a person in your life, whether they be parent partner or friend, doesn't feel genuinely sorry for the very fact that they hurt you (call me crazy but I don't want to hurt anyone) then they aren't worth having in your life... They will hurt you again. This is why so many with trauma stay in abusive relationships!

@Rita-ei3pp

Жыл бұрын

Man this is happening, i tried to say and was called sensitive, attention calling and insecure xD and now i got to my limit and we don't speak in 5 days

@sharonthompson672

Жыл бұрын

Yes! I saw a video on covert narcissists and they behave like this! Pouty, passive-agressive. "You're overreacting! You're too sensitive! I just won't say anything!" Then, yes: silent treatment. Still figuring out the difference between that (covert narcissist) and a badly brought up man-child 😆

@user-dianejcml

Жыл бұрын

​@Sharon Thompson Me too. Still figuring that one out!

I feel like the “trend” (lack of better word) of feel your feelings has damaged me more as a person with cptsd. It led me to go to unnecessarily far into my emotion and take it too seriously. When I started seeing a somatic therapist who taught me about the nervous system and regulation everything changed more than ever before. I felt like I was finally becoming an adult and could finally start learning to develop a core.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

9 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your experience with us! Julie@TeamFairy

“Emotional dysregulation is like a wrecking ball” omg I can't even explain how much this rings true for me.

This channel has been better than any therapy session I have ever had

My emotional disregulation looks like depression/pain. I feel this pain in my chest and when hurt (perhaps misunderstood, rejected or abandoned), I just get flooded. It feels like sinking into a dark shadow, or like grey glass is put between me and the world, I'm feeling pain and even my sensual perception gets numb. Often I sink into this kind of dark-ish experiencing without a clear trigger, or due to exhaustion. When triggered, it takes at least a few hours and sometimes days to get back to an optimistic self. Does anyone have a similar experience? Is there perhaps a technique that could help me cope faster?

@juliedahl1892

2 жыл бұрын

My emotions are like in a daze. Totally numb.. I’m very sensitive at times. I used to think of things or watch a video, & the tears would come . To stop , I quit watching it. But my daughter can bring it on when I talk to her. She says I’ve really changed. I’m not the same . I need medication But my husband ( who is NARISSIS) is just left alone. Nobody says anything about him. He is self centered, not much empathy either. I have enough for both of us. One day will get better, but being like this for 60 yrs. Doesn’t change soon enough..

@juleadunn4047

2 жыл бұрын

Writing it all out and Deep slow breathing through the belly. Even now when i've been doing it for awhile, i don't always believe it's going to work, but it really does. Sometimes it takes a bit. If i can, i cancel any plans that i can until i get regulated again.

@paulascott7670

2 жыл бұрын

Yes if men are abandoning me

@LauraBeckerReal

2 жыл бұрын

This is a really accurate description of what happens to me. It feels like inescapable grief and heartache in my chest. I feel I’m submerged in black goo and I can’t get out, just deep pain and tears. I don’t know how to deal with and it’s ruining my life

@betkakad

2 жыл бұрын

@@LauraBeckerReal I'm sending some virtual love your way!

I’ve always wondered what was my problem with wacky emotions. Now I’m not only beginning to see why, but also how to deal with them. Thank you. I started crying when I listened to this. And I’m 61 and have bipolar and borderline. I’m extremely sensitive to the point that I cried when I listened to what you had to say

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

5 ай бұрын

We're all sending you support and encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I discovered your channel yesterday. So glad I did. You speak from a place of experience, with empathy and good sense, and your tone is understanding without ever being judgemental or condescending, but at the time not indulging your listeners. Thank you!

My life has been ruined by periods of feeling nothing when I should feel something, interspersed with intense inappropriate love or intense murderous anger. I grew up in a very dysfunctional household. (You notice, I cannot bring myself to use the word “family”, because there was no family, just a collection of blood relations who sometimes lived in the same house.). You say “don’t say/write when you are angry, calm down first and then deal with it” but I don’t ever calm down, that’s the problem. I will suddenly remember something that happened 50 years ago and still get enraged about it now.

@mtaylor7307

2 жыл бұрын

I've done that too but with time I realized that anger was from pain buried. I had to learn to cry to release it. This helped. This and DBT. A therapist has value when you can connect with yourself with another person present. Trying to do it alone left me feeling like I was in a vacuum. Didn't work well.

@sherryvan4627

2 жыл бұрын

"i dont ever calm down" me too, so what then?

@mintyhippo8125

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve felt this way, too. I think it is good to have DBT like the other person said at first. Therapy really helped me put in perspective that my emotions and the situations that triggered them did not line up. Like, tell the situation where you get angry to the therapist (preferably) and, if they are good, they will be able to help you figure out what made you triggered, an appropriate reaction for that situation, and can give an outsider’s perspective. In my situation, I felt numb/sad for years. Therapy helped pull me out of pessimistic thinking, and then I was angry at everything. I learned the source of that anger (for example, I got really angry when people didn’t listen to me because it felt like they thought I was stupid because people in my family would criticize everytime I “messed up” even when I didn’t do anything) and it helped me logic through what I felt and who was really at fault. Did the person/thing that made you angry deserve that reaction? Or, did you just get reminded of when you couldn’t react/when your reactions didn’t matter and it is coming out now? A lot of times, that realization would make me cry because I would mask other emotions with anger with my family. In day to day life, you have more choices than you did as a kid. You can feel more freely because your parent isn’t there to punish you/gaslight/hurt you anymore, and you have more freedom to leave abusive people/choose who you are around. Before I started counseling, I would just rant to friends for hours about what was bothering me and it ended up making me feel way worse. Or, yelling at someone when you are angry will cause you to say things you don’t mean, and hurt them in ways that would be hard to repair. (Well, you might want to hurt them and damage the relationship, but that’s not good to do to someone if you want a better life… that’s a bit along the path). So, have someone to put what you are saying in loving perspective. That will help you learn appropriate/normal/healthy levels of reactions, and also causes for the intense emotions.

@tiffanybluetarot

2 жыл бұрын

@@sherryvan4627 that’s been my question for ages. I’ve been psychoanalyzed, diagnosed, self-worked, etc. etc. to the hilt. I know the ‘why’s’ and ‘what happened’s’ when I feel triggered. I give the appropriate responses…but that doesn’t stop the intense feelings I still feel that plague me so. It’s the ‘then what’ that nobody can seem to get to the bottom of. Medications have been offered. Self-medication has been explored. No true fix here, yet…

@N0N4M30

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been adopted into such a hell.. I feel so much anger so much pain and so much stress. Some days I just feel numb and pain. I should be in my prime time but I’ve been drained from energy by vampires who I tried to love.

One thing I like to do is run cold water on my arms up to a bit above my elbow. It hits some important acupuncture points and seems to calm the flight fight or freeze response very quickly.

@lisbethbird8268

2 жыл бұрын

The cold water resets the nervous system. Bob from the psychology in Seattle channel is a DBT skills instructor who says this is a good tool, especially cold water or an ice pack on the face.

@xHeartHeartbreakx

Жыл бұрын

I'm gunnq give this a go lol

I had no idea that I was emotionally disregulated until I saw this. People have been telling me my reactions are off the charts for many years. I didn’t know what they meant. Thank you for this video. I have a new appreciation for my husband

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad the video was helpful. Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I find this really difficult with a screaming toddler, because they don't give you the space to take a second.

i truly believe Anna is saving lives by sharing videos.

@angelaholmes8888

2 жыл бұрын

Yes she is she's helped me so much 💯🙂👍

@siobhan5661

Жыл бұрын

Perhaps mine.

I started writing anytime something comes up on my "note" app on my phone... I get it out and delete it. It really helps

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

Love this idea! Brilliant! - Ashley, Team Fairy

@Courage2bwell

2 жыл бұрын

Great process! Vent in notes and delete! Before today I had never heard that venting or long story form and venting is like a reentry to the transe state. I know I don't like venting. I feel dirty and yet have been told I need to talk about it. I don't need to talk about it but I DO need to get it out. Like gathering trash in a messy house. Gather it in 1 place, toss it. I.e. write and delete. 1 question-do you read it first or do you delete when the writing stops and the feeling has passed? I am new to this great channel but not to doing the work. I look forward to the results and feedback from improved relations with immediate family. (I implode vs explode but when I do Express myself, it comes across as momma has lost her mind and perhaps I may have )

@jordenhaddad561

2 жыл бұрын

@@Courage2bwell Hi, I do what ever feels good. Sometimes I delete it straight away, sometimes I read it over and over for a few days and then delete it. I guess I delete it when it doesn't feel relevant anymore, just because I don't want clatter in my phone. I used to write in a dairy and I enjoyed reading through it sometimes, but at one point just decided to throw them out, so now I use my phone and it's working just a great

I appreciate so much being able to learn these valuable things from your channel. Thank you!

Feels amazing to finally have words for things I cannot express. This gives me way more courage to deal with other people

Honestly, sometimes I don't think I can do this. I am such a mess it seems, and possibly too far gone for any real change at this point. One day I think I can do it, then the other I feel I'm too messed up. I keep hoping for some real change one day . Thanks for all you do, Anna.

@Eva-dp4od

2 жыл бұрын

Yes you do bc you writing this in recognition and in raw honesty! This is your healing and transformation where you are in! Well done! Sometimes it's messy and allow this too. The trick is don't stay in it and don't feel guilty about it either. I have this too and I laugh afterwards after crying, shouting... without harming someone and yourself. Wow such a release and it regulates me as well. I don't feel guilty when I didn't do anything and my house looks messy or when I have pyjamas day, again the trick is don't stay in it for days...

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

I get it. It's totally normal to feel that way, and I think many of us can relate. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other (and give yourself some grace when you take a few steps back.) We're all rooting for you from the sidelines, and are so glad you're here with us. - Ashley, Team Fairy

@mtaylor7307

2 жыл бұрын

I felt this way and started listening to guided theta wave meditations. I found an old CD but there are some on KZread. Need to listen with ear buds or ear phones, though, to get the benefit. It helps me figure out why I am a mess. I always get some insight that helps. Kelly Howell does the one I listen to.

@mintyhippo8125

2 жыл бұрын

I felt that way, too for a while. It’s a long haul, but just keep in mind that it is worth it. I think the thing that mostly got me out of it was like, “I can’t spend my life like this.” And that motivated me that I needed to get better for myself. It’s especially hard when you are first seeing all your triggers for the first time. For me, it felt like I was in a prison since I was aware of everything that set me off. Before, I was always upset, but now I could find sources but didn’t know what to do with it. It’s good to stop, acknowledge what you are feeling, find a way to calm down, and maybe apologize if you caused any damage. As you practice, you get faster at realizing when you are triggered and faster at being supportive/soothing for your inner child. Eventually, some things will stop triggering you. As I healed, I was also motivated to get better for the people in my life that loved me. (I didn’t have many of those for a lot of my life because I couldn’t handle most meaningful social interaction.)

@alyserhyne9336

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing. I have those exact thoughts. It helps to know we’re not alone on this.

I remember feeling like a bobbing cork on a vast dark sea... I feel better now that I'm not in my 20s but in my 50s with all the info available about complex trauma and chronic csa

What an insight. This explains why I’m told I’m “you’re TOO much”.

It's so good to find some clarity now. I find that I walk around with this headache she talks about. All day every day

Write to yourself in an emotional emergency ! Yes ! Write to the one who is with you all the time, You !

I believe more people suffer from childhood issues more then thought of by these professionals. My family dysfunctions goes back generations from what I have heard, seen and experienced. Not one doctor, therapist ever brought this up to suggest how to address it and treat it. Just misdiagnosed and medicated me with every drug they could think of to go on to the next patient. Thank you so much for your videos and finally making me grasp onto what my issues really originated and how I can work on getting better.

@britiniicollins7539

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. As far back as my grandmother could tell me severe severe trauma has happened to all the women in my lineage. Now that I think back to this conversation with her it has occurred to me that it has to stop with me. It didn’t with my mother at all. It almost didn’t with me. But somehow the love for my children coming into my life woke me up to all of these cycles that need to be broken.

@ardonjane5782

Жыл бұрын

Yes it usually is generational, like depression too. Everyone likes to hide these little facts but it talks about generational curses in the Bible. The women on my mothers side are monsters to their daughters but just go head over heals to the grand daughters. My mother wouldn’t leave me alone until I was in my fifties and she was relentless and a force to be reckoned with. Nice one minute and toxic the next. Hang up the phone that’s okay she’d call you until you picked up. I have finally felt some peace at 62 and able to talk to her occasionally with love which is miraculous. I’ve forgiven many but I have seen I am no easy picnic like I thought I was. I can admit I’m wrong. But the shame, anger, crying chaos, wanting to die were relentless for years. Counseling confuses me just tell me what it is you want me to know. Be direct. Telling your horrible story over and over again. Being an Air Force brat and moving so much that is why I thought I didn’t have friends. Nope it’s me. I am thankful for someone who understands and explains in concise ways what happened, what is happening, how you react, how you slow it down (what I might have hope?!) how to think, take your time, and so forth!!! I want to know what are other counselors getting paid for????? They didn’t help. Glad I stopped going. It was like hitting my head on a wall. God bless everyone and don’t ever give up on yourself you deserve a better future and new day. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@brigwood7658

Жыл бұрын

It's funny (in a 'not funny way'), I read your kind of comment all the time on 'on line' mental health vids, i.e. how you've had e.g. years and years of therapy with different therapists and all they did was e.g. 'listen, nod, validate how hard it must be for you, asking you 'how you feel about it' or just drug you; instead of e.g. offering you strategies for emo regulation, or how to deal with ruminating thoughts, or distress tolerance, or how to interact with, or assert yourself around others, or how to face and overcome phobias or situations that trigger extreme distress, or how to process stuck difficult memories (whether they be 'conscious memories' or more like memories lodged in your body as e.g. extreme anxiety, or nausea, or muscle pain etc) so they aren't affecting your everyday life 'now'; or how to build a strong sense of personal meaning, direction o self worth, confidence, etc - how to fully embody a new posture or a way of grounding and composing yourself so you can better challenge the hold of difficult problems, thoughts, feelings, urges or situations that bring/keep you down etc. It really makes me wonder if different parts of the world offer utterly different services (?). I'm a counsellor, and like my all my peers, we work 'directly' with everything I just mentioned, with they very same kind of stuff they talk about on vids like these, but with the added advantage of 'tailoring it to you' as my client (not just to a general audience), and being able to converse with you (a vid is only ever one way), so it's done at your pace, or in a way that best resonates with where you are at a(And we don't muck around either - We 'get to it'). So it just beggars belief that you (and others) have had to endure years and years of bad counselling only to discover this stuff 'now' in a 10 minute introductory video; stuff that in my mind, IS precisely 'bang on' what counsellors do! Exploring and applying this stuff IS our bread an butter. Sorry for the rant, but it really is just so shocking and utterly surprising to me! Terrible.

@prisonerohope6970

Жыл бұрын

@@brigwood7658 Not everyone is good at their job.

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

"Adverse Childhood Experiences"

Thank you so much Ana for this video, and so many others. I so needed to hear this video because it is right where I am at in my recovery and I need it to hear this. I appreciate you and your work.

This is so helpful. Not only do I have complex trauma, but I was also a highly sensitive child. I am 47 and the tumbling out of emotions has affected me my entire life. I feel more confident, or at least hopeful, I can regulate just by watching this one video. Having even a sliver of hope is empowering, because I never thought it possible to be in control of my affect. Thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Glad the content was helpful to you :) -Cara@TeamFairy

@sarahblunden4372

Жыл бұрын

I'm the same age and have had the same with emotions. Sending hugs x

@alyssaleatham8544

11 ай бұрын

I am nearly 47, and today I thought, I don't want to battle this today.". My story is similar to yours. It is amazing how a sliver of hope can stand up against a lifetime of fear.

That trigger I feel when I’m triggered by someone being late or generally irresponsible at work colleague etc - have it from my irresponsible dad and how he made me feel in my past as kid.

The longest time i thought i was so angry and emotional because of something suppressed in me, but this helped me realize thats not the case. I wake up overwhelmed and stay that way til i go to sleep. Everyday. But i think your videos can help, thank you.

@Stubbornclarity

Ай бұрын

Try taking fish oil supplements, vitamin D, and Passionflower tea. They really helped me. Chamomile tea if you can't find Passionflower tea. Hoping you find peace 🕊️🍀

I was just diagnosed with complex PTSD and so much of this makes sense. There’s a big healing process that I’m gonna have to go through but I’m glad that I was diagnosed with this. It makes a lot of sense.

People need to stop being afraid of their emotions. Am so tired from feeling afraid. Write. Pray for calm. walk if you can. Tie a knot in a piece of string, over and over. Sweep. with a broom. wash your face with a cloth & under your arms with soap or without, if a shower is too much. Brush teeth when you can.

I’ve been doing this for years. I also never apologised and never thought I was the one with the problem 😢. 13 years later I’m finally looking Inward before I hurt my family any more. My Dis-regulation is applied to EVERYTHING - Anger, Sadness, Arousal, Frustration, Excitement, Anxiety, Motivation etc. I’m glad I can finally address this.

You are so great! This is the first time I've heard anyone ever understand the real thought process of these meltdown events and the struggle of trying to prevent it from heating up and billing over emotionally, every.. single.. time. I greatly appreciate your style of communication in how you gave those practical techniques and tools to use the very next time I feel myself swelling with urgency. You have given me words to put to my feelings and actions. I was tearing up hearing you explain the long-term effects (or the toll it takes) on relationships and the people. They're not going to react the way we thought they would, so here's how you regulate your feelings so you can get on the same page with your loved ones and continue to grow and build on your treasured relationships. Thank you!! I've subscribed.

I'm so grateful for all the guidance, education and support you've provided here on your KZread. Even though it's not face-to-face it's helpful to me. Thank you.

You. Have. Saved. My. Life. I sit here benefitting from so, so many of your videos. You take the shame out of being neglected and never cared about.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Happy to hear that you've benefited. Sending you encouragement. We're rooting for you. - Ashley, Team Fairy

OMG. You are SO exactly describing how my childhood trauma affects me! Not being able to control my emotions has lasted a hundred times longer than the actual trauma and severely limited my life choices.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Glad you're here! -Calista@TeamFairy

Omg! I only watched this for the first time yesterday, but unfortunately had to put it into practice today and it WORKED!!! God bless you!!

When I heard that Sinead O Connor died a few days ago, I thought of the Crappy Childhood Fairy. She clearly had so many of the trauma responses that you speak of here. Its sad that she did not resolve her trauma as she was so giving of her talents. ❤

For me it’s sadness that I have been suppressing . I know it’s going to hit hard when it does fully surface. so it’s almost like a form of denial. Breathwork and meditation definitely help.

My daily routine: writing down my emotions + breathing exercises literally changed my life. I no longer get dysregulated as much or not at all. Thank to Anna and her course my life is a peaceful place🙏🤗 I still go through a lot of emotions but I mange them so they are not too intense 😊

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 жыл бұрын

What wonderful growth! Happy to hear Anna's teaching have helped you so much. We're rooting for you as you continue to heal! - Ashley, Team Fairy

Your such a treasure!!! Thank you for doing what you do. This hit home hard for me, Ive been feeling overwhelmed & triggered by everything… for some reason this past week was the worst in awhile. Your wisdom & insight has me exhaling & regrouping. Bless you!!!!!!!!

Thank YOU SO MUCH!!! This is better than any therapist bs!!!! Therapy was a waste of time! This is helping myself and the kids!!! Your such a blessing!!!! ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️. What a gift to give humanity!!!

I have CPTSD and currently going through a heart break..... Apt timing of the video..... Thank you so much ❤️

@sajalmishra2872

2 жыл бұрын

Same 💜

@jordansthoughts54

2 жыл бұрын

Same. biggest heartbreak of my life thus far.

@baylee8659

2 жыл бұрын

Hey I wish you luck in your healing! :)

@somegirl8124

2 жыл бұрын

@@baylee8659 so sweet of you.... May you find all the love and happiness