HE'S GOT A GUN!, I literally started choking at how bad and hilarious this was. (oh no Alteori is descending, this was a bad idea.)

Just think, Alteori suffers through two hours of some of the worst movies ever directed, to make our Mondays better. Thank you so much Alteori.

@cronaon317

4 жыл бұрын

Yes thank you

@minsitu8777

4 жыл бұрын

Yes thank you Alteori

@suheygarcia1447

4 жыл бұрын

Yes thanks alteroi

@thechristianteen9167

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Alteori

@azaviermartin

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Alteori

I'm really really sorry. I was the shark. I'm so sorry. I regret ever helping with this. I had to help make this movie. It was a really low point in my life. I needed the cash.

@thechristianteen9167

4 жыл бұрын

We except your apology poor shark

@Tidal_Terror

4 жыл бұрын

@@thechristianteen9167 I was joking but thanks. We can pretend I actually have use for human currencies.

@thechristianteen9167

4 жыл бұрын

@@Tidal_Terror OK you were joking. I was just playing along.

@GeckyWecky

4 жыл бұрын

ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU

@Tidal_Terror

4 жыл бұрын

@@GeckyWecky Despair. 🙄

When you accidentally knocked over your fish tank.

@Thedoveisrotting

3 жыл бұрын

Pls i would cry if i did)

I feel like this movie was made when to bros bought a shark prop and one told the other, “you know what’d be funny, if we made a cheesy movie with this thing.” And it just went on from there

I dunno why but the shark closing the door after eating the hunter really just broke me. I just fell down laughing at that point.

@Alteori

Жыл бұрын

💀💀💀💀

@thedarkgenious7967

Жыл бұрын

@@Alteori Hitting me with that blast from the past. I don't even remember this video :P Guess I'll just have to watch it again!

@Alteori

Жыл бұрын

@@thedarkgenious7967 I didn't remember it either lol 😂

When the shark pulled out a gun that’s when I knew that this was the best movie ever.

I feel like they were high when they came up with it 😂

@Alteori

4 жыл бұрын

And when they were doing it... ... 🤔... What is your profile picture?

@draakogomez8043

4 жыл бұрын

@@Alteori probably a wolf or big dog

@ATOMICGhidorah

4 жыл бұрын

@@Alteori a brown fox

@antonioarreola3097

3 жыл бұрын

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

@hmcullmer

3 жыл бұрын

@@Alteori he had standards

"House Shark"!!.. LMAO!! I was in a quiet office, when I hear you say name, I couldn't help myself & immediately laughed out loud. & 11:17min The Shark......"was undressing him with it's eyes..." WTF Thanks Alteori, plz continue to suffer through these movies for us. :-)

Im suprised this didn't devolve into some kind of porno. Though one unfathomable question remains. Who made this? Who put money down into distributing this thing? Was this movie a front for a heroin/human traffic/black market trade? Was someone blackmailed to make this?

@glitchwolf1384

4 жыл бұрын

Need I remind you that they literally had someone named *Darth Squanto* who could use the force, just casually there. Like... up until then I was pretty sure this was just a shitty idea some company exec had and forced into production, but that... I... I can't explain that. I can't explain why this movie. Like... its like they *literally* gave up halfway and the main actors were like 'screw you studio, we're making this movie but better!'

@TheKyrix82

4 жыл бұрын

@@glitchwolf1384 It's pretty obvious they had a LOT of fun making a very dumb movie

@nxla6836

3 жыл бұрын

More then one person was blackmailed to make this movie. That much is obvious.

@ObsidianArrowYT

2 жыл бұрын

Every Asylum movie is like this 😅

Selling the house after scary thing happens = smartest horror movie decision

I told my mom to watch this movie and she said it hurt like child birth in pain level.

@TheDevilslayer101

3 жыл бұрын

Why would you torture your own mother like that?

@nxla6836

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheDevilslayer101 She had it coming. She knows what she did!

This movie is the reason the c virus exist

@stopmotionmaker6222

4 жыл бұрын

Your hilarious

@minsitu8777

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@reconrexyt3572

4 жыл бұрын

It’s Coronavirus Sorry

@ChrisTian-ed8ol

4 жыл бұрын

Accurate, but don't mention the actual name, you could get the vid demonetized. YT has been really infringing on the creators freedom of speech, even with listened news casters and senators.

@mypetra83

4 жыл бұрын

Lol 🤣

Thank you for these each Monday. They're your best content! I love laughing like this!

@Alteori

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂 thanks. It hurts so much.

@terrorbird3080

3 жыл бұрын

@@Alteori REEEE!!! REEEE!!! REEEE!!!

wait so this movie was real? I always tought it was some kind of parody trailer on the internet.

@scaracooch1320

4 жыл бұрын

Niccolò Panci I would have sworn this was a bad porn

@scaracooch1320

4 жыл бұрын

20:29 correction IT WAS

@ObsidianArrowYT

Жыл бұрын

@@scaracooch1320 3:38 yeah, we all know what happened

I got a suggestion for next week: Monster Wolf

@bloodycheetah3596

4 жыл бұрын

Sorry I messed up the 69 like count

@vexed832

4 жыл бұрын

I can't tell wether that's a joke or an actual movie

@garypfeiffer3489

4 жыл бұрын

@@vexed832 oh it's a movie alright. Featuring a vengeful wolf spirit, a female Native American lawyer & a corrupt oil company owner

@kittysparklr6626

4 жыл бұрын

Omg! Did she review this one?! I'm new. I hope she did this one!

@YamiFudo

3 жыл бұрын

Good call✌👍👍

"Violeting my every orifice with his twisted perverted mind" i just loose it there, couldnt stop laughting XD

🎶Dumb movies, they’re everywhere!🎶 Dumb movies, they never end!🎶

@victoriaB397

4 жыл бұрын

Nice song you should post it if you want just a suggestion and a thought 💭

I'm really loving dumb movie Monday

9:03 idk, i do weird poses like that when i stretch all the the time. I also do stretches that look like i'm in ballet rehearsal

@Alteori

4 жыл бұрын

😄😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣 why am I cracking up so much

Rule 42: If it exists, it will be fused with something else.

@The-Spaceducky

4 жыл бұрын

*32

@Sparrow9612

4 жыл бұрын

@@The-Spaceducky That works better since its not on this list: knowyourmeme.com/memes/rules-of-the-internet Rule 42 is "It is delicious cake. You must eat it." Edit: I stand corrected. This seems to be a more comprehensive list of Rules. i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/030/662/rules.jpg.jpg?1260852319

@matthewfredericks1640

4 жыл бұрын

What's rule #1

@theberrby6836

4 жыл бұрын

House Shark Toilet.

@sparkingmotions1896

4 жыл бұрын

What are all the rules

The climax scene of the House shark vs the 3 guys is so funny that it was almost like a skit that you would get from KZread in 2012...Which I actually enjoyed.

You should see Ghost Shark, a dude got killed by a cup of water 😂

@Koscacio

4 жыл бұрын

You Laughing but that the plot of JoJo Bizzard Adventure

@theonlychickensama8353

4 жыл бұрын

@@Koscacio lol oh I know

@Koscacio

4 жыл бұрын

@@theonlychickensama8353 Amazingly, and Ironicly, most of DM Movie look like the plot of JJBA and we all know how "Bad" JoJo is. Guess that all depend on the director heh, Neat

@theonlychickensama8353

4 жыл бұрын

@@Koscacio true director and budget, it's why I love these kid of movies. I live for the bizarre s#it

@Koscacio

4 жыл бұрын

@@theonlychickensama8353 heh, Neat

I love dumb movie Mondays

@The-Spaceducky

4 жыл бұрын

Aaryan Dherange who doesn’t

@aaryandherange1515

4 жыл бұрын

My sister

@draakogomez8043

4 жыл бұрын

@@aaryandherange1515 dun DUN dun

@damoncade7659

4 жыл бұрын

Dumb movie Monday's: House Shark Us: mental breakdown intensifies.

Alteori: *sees fin in the toilet* Also alteori: *punches the hell outta her desk* xD

'ay the only thing that could down the elusive House-shark is Captain Ahab of the bus depot.' I say in a light drunken laughing fit.

Yes!!!!; Dumb movie Monday!!! I feel like this series is going to be the brightest part of my Mondays from now on

18:30 Force dude:me Shark:the teacher giving me my homework

When I thought of House Shark, i thought it would be on a Houseboat (a boat which is or can be moored for use as a dwelling) not a house on solid ground, like you said, It sounds nice in your mind, but its crap outside of your mind

“Don’t underestimate my powers” hahaha dead 💀

Alteori, I'm new to you channel but damn! You're narrations, memes and insanity giggles have me rolling!

" That's what I said, TRICK! ". OH my... stealing that one. LOL

4:48 Did Rodan enter Alteori's house?

@mypetra83

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe...

@lifeofjelllo3596

2 жыл бұрын

are you sure that’s the right time stamp..?

17:39 the spiritual backhand

Her losing it in the beginning while reading the title killed me.

..."HOUSESHARK"???... what the??.... ARE YOU EVEN SERIOUS??? :O

@spacemegalodon5049

4 жыл бұрын

We need to kill all of the insane people who continue to fuse my brothers and sisters with random shit.

@Ginfeldi

4 жыл бұрын

space megalodon? how about space megawhalewolfctopus

@spacemegalodon5049

4 жыл бұрын

Is that supposed to be a new name or terrible movie idea?

@lordkarasu2263

4 жыл бұрын

2serveand2protect sadly, yeah.

@spacemegalodon5049

4 жыл бұрын

Studio Autio so basically me during the covid-19

18:30 - 18:38 I DIED LAUGHING!!!!!!😂😂😂

There is a movie! I saw it, and it's still there. I can feel it. It's looking at me, undressing me with its eyes, violating my every brain cell with its sick twisted perverted mind. It's got a budget, and cringe too like some sort of parody Cronenberg This multiplied my respect for Alteori for hurting herself for our entertainment like she's Coyote Peteron

i'm sorry but if you can act your way through this film without wetting yourself with laughter or questioning your life choices YOU DESERVE THAT OSCAR, DAMMIT!

Please, please, please never stop making mad movie mondays Alteori 😂😂😂 I seriously laugh along with you

I wasn’t laughing at the park where you were grossed out by the creature he went on a date with but when you said: “so he goes on a date with this Thing” I lost it

*I can breath Alteori! Why'd you do this to me!?? 😂* I'm sorry that you actually can't breath, hope you feel soon!! :'|

this channel deserves more subscribers. This is quality, humorous, content. 10/10

I love the way you react to things ahaha. the rants, the spiels, ugh. love.

Okay, even the name sounds like a abomination that was spawned when the Cloverfield Paradox happened. LMAO

This seems like Ghost Shark before That was even a thing 😂

@tommycriton9758

4 жыл бұрын

Only problem is ghost shark needs water to teleport

Your best yet. You made me cry laughing. And this without your avatar. Love you.

I subscribed yesterday to your channel and you delivered me a decent amount of LOLs

25:18: HE'S GOT A GUN! Me: Oh dear Jesus Christ 😂😂😂😂 Alteori: this was harder than Velocipastor. Me: Don't you dare say that name in vain.

8:11 damn, this gore is brutal as hell

Yall are so funny. Been binge watching for 3 days and fell in love. Like the humor is perfect

Honestly this movie series thing on your channel is my favorite and I've been binge watching it all evening

I unironicly love this movie, it's cheap, schlockly fun. the actors knew what it was and ran wild with it

18:30 Anyone else dieing of laughter

@dashgull2169

4 жыл бұрын

Y did the shark kill her

@monke3763

3 жыл бұрын

18:43

@valencethecat

2 жыл бұрын

I was holding it dammit but then she started laughing and I fucking lost it

The "they got reattached" part made me think of the "she turned me into a newt. What, I got better" scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

I made my friend sit through this movie without breaks. It was glorious and she is now like a sister to me.

17:38 okay. this was a legitimately good scene

18:43 that damn moan tho

@mypetra83

4 жыл бұрын

O.O

All of your videos are amazing, but not have made me laugh as much as I've laughed here 😂😂😂

OMG!!! Alteori, you are a GENIUS!

Remember Alteori House Shark doesn't exist it was all just a looooooong nightmare.

It's crazy how they're selling this movie for 13$ 🤣

I really wish your fox animation was in this. I swear your fox is sometimes the only reason I'll watch these because it's so bloody cute and expressive with the eye rolls and ear twitching or when you're super excited about something SCP related. I can only imagine what your fox reactions would be to this.

If they ever re-boot Mystery Science 3000, they need to hire you, because you are SO GOOD at this!

That’s so gross and funny at the same time,you got me laughing,from start to finish,who make such weird movies

Basically I'm going to dye laughing😂😂😂😂

Alteori your sacrifices do not go unnoticed so I hear by award you a 💜 for your bravery and thank you for your service as an amazing youtuber

@Alteori

Жыл бұрын

👐

Alteori, these are PURE GOLD! Keep these Dumb Movie Mondays coming!

I know u did it a while ago but I recently watched your devil jho vid and I think personally as a Monster Hunter fan that you should do I a little bit more for example Rathalos or even an Elder Dragon

@joshyposhy8548

4 жыл бұрын

Btw great video

All right house shark I'm imagining either a land shark the size of a house or I'm thinking of a shark alien thing.That has the abilty to travel or phase through a buidling.Think that liquid metal terminator that rises from the checkered floor.

Watched about 12 your vids , love the content, love the voice

Plot twist this was just the bloopers for *The Meg*

Jesus christ please beware me of those movies!

He’s got a gun

This whole movie reads like an hour long comedy skit that has to have the same joke throughout the entire thing that was meant to be on KZread back when first started

OMG, when we got to Dark Lord of House Inspections, I completely lost it.

I don’t care, I still love your giggles!

To help get the taste of EW outta Alteori’s mouth (whom we thank for enduring this hell), I’ve provided an alternative to the reality 3:54 Must’ve been some nasty restaurant food if it’s got such moldy meat to leave it on a guy’s face! Anyways, here’s the real alternative that I think would be almost plausible. Due to poor decisions on the part of the water company, coastal excavating has led to pipes being laid in the ocean to draw it into the sewage system. Instead of solving their problems, it’s only caused more as the salt water eroded at the pipes enough for smaller life forms to get inside. One example of this would be one or two cigar sharks, better known as cookie cutter sharks, which are infamous for taking bites outta everything they can get close to. When the babysitter’s on the toilet, she doesn’t know that a cigar shark-fearing for its life now that it’s gotten stuck in a tight pipe-has gotten itself stuck in the toilet and has been excited by the smell of blood. Growing agitated as it’s tired, hungry and it can’t find the source of the blood...it does something unorthodox and leaps out of the blood-filled water to take a bite of anything. It lands a lucky bite on the babysitter’s sitter, and the b-plot (because a Predator breaking into houses is gonna be the A-plot) follows the townsfolk finding sea life in their water supplies (primarily toilets for a couple reasons). Goes into a legal dispute as the people start demanding answers and the truth’s revealed that a leading overseer in the water company saw to it that the water supply came directly from the coastline. This same overseer was later removed from his position-not for stealing water from the ocean-for sexual harassment and misdemeanors to everyone underneath his position. Yes, the house shark’s the cause for the house shark! That’s the plot twist! Is this a dumb idea...yeah, honestly. Is it better than the actual movie...maybe.

This was by far the funniest shit I've seen in a WHILE lmao dude forget home ab exercises this was something else, I thoroughly enjoyed this from start to finish it was beyond amazing P.S. your pain has brought great joy into many viewers' lives, thank you Alteori, stay awesome

Really love your videos Alteori

17:38 Is this guy supposed to be some rip off of Anakin Skywalker

@MrTigracho

4 жыл бұрын

More like Kylo Ren.

Watch "Transmorghers" by "Asylum"

Lmaoooooo alteori used Aaron's face from Ghost Adventures🤣🤣🤣

Im not sure who you are. But I'm such a fan now. Mucusified 🤣🤣🤣

9:23 THEY GAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!

owo

Your sacrifice for the study of humanity's insanity shall not be forgotten. Thank you alteori

her giggle is so cute 🥺

Hello there alteori when is the next pov video on your other channel alteori and I got to ask you a question about a video on a KZread channel and when is the next darbi video and I got to ask you alteori are you going to do the pov videos I asked for please #alteori

@quint2568

4 жыл бұрын

There are like 5 total different words in this comment...

Ninja guy getting eaten was the best part followed closely by "it's got a gun!"

18:40 what the actual frick did you hit? 😂😂😂 I wheezed

Thank you for your work. It's fun to hear you rant about this stuff. Keep being you.

House Shark?! Ok, this is going to go down hard.

Alteori you always make me laugh😂

That acting is hilarious though, LOL!!!!!

I laughed way too hard at the fin in the toilet haha!

I just would love to know what people are thinking when they're making these movies. Thank you for another awesome review. It made me laugh. I love your channel. You should watch black sheep. It's a "horror" about sheep.

Ngl you had me at the thumbnail

New subscriber here, I love your witty commentary on all these dumb movies and you are by far one of the funniest critics. Not even the funniest female critic, the funniest critic and horror commentator I watched so far

Wow now I have a reason to get excited for Monday’s!!!