📺 Watch the full episode here - kzread.info/dash/bejne/X4F728uqhs3Ke6w.html

..Perfect marriages or relationships don't really exist; each one is special. What works for one person might not work for another. But I've come to realize that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years back, my wife and I were close to getting divorced because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to make things right. It was hard, but we got through it.

@user-sk7kd8vs2w

5 күн бұрын

I truly understand the importance of your words, and I genuinely want to find happiness too. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart at the moment, I can't imagine my life without her; my love for her is big. I really want her to return, and I'm fully committed to making it happen. We've tried different ways, like therapy, to mend things.

@user-yy9mt6kl3h

5 күн бұрын

Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

@user-sk7kd8vs2w

5 күн бұрын

I'm thankful for this guidance. I'll immediately start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that adopting this strategy will also bring about positive changes for me; I miss her deeply.

@user-yy9mt6kl3h

5 күн бұрын

You should... I promise you will not regret it.

I’m happily married and think it’s the ideal formation for child raising , but if I was to divorce I would for sure not re-marry.

James is one of the best to listen to about marriage…two commandments out of ten are don’t commit adultery, don’t covet your neighbors wife/partner. He’s so right on this. Nothing. Absolutely nothing can build trust after failure to be faithful to your person….like if you can’t be faithful, at least give your partner the bare minimum respect to know you can’t be loyal and let them leave with their dignity in tact before you’re out with whoever wherever. Marriage is being in someone’s corner for them in life, not screwing them over.

While capitalism has marketed marriage purely as an emotional venture, it has a very practical purpose, as a microcosm of the macrocosm. A launching pad for future generations, as marriage is the building block of family, and family is the building block further up the progression ladder to building a society.

My understanding of marriage is a profound promise that you make to another person, that no matter what happens they have your back and will fight your corner, and vice versa. If that promise is stuck to by both sides then it is a thing of beauty.

@noodles9749

27 күн бұрын

Absolutely, my husband and I were together 18 years, 2 kids and we married just last christmas as life kids, home all took over, we finally wanted to say after everything we have been through we will always be together. Our relationship has never been better, it's so sad that people don't get to experience the true meaning of being married.

@miamihurricaner5911

27 күн бұрын

It’s all about whether you take the vows you take seriously. 25 years on Wednesday. Can’t believe how fast the time has gone. 2 kids and 3 lifetimes worth of experiences together.

@natalierivera5997

26 күн бұрын

I agree but when it goes wrong at least the marriage certificate helps with spousal rights in division of property and child custody rights, otherwise it’s a free for all fight where the individual with the most funds wins.

@nicomirinda

21 күн бұрын

You need to get marry for that? 🤔 It is just a contract.

@matthewdolman

21 күн бұрын

@@nicomirinda no it isn't

Wow! After listening to this, I have to say “spot on” We may not like it or agree but if we look deep inside and are truthful to ourselves, we’re still animals with egos; and through the aging process (for some) sex becomes less of an issue and companionship is worth more than GOLD. Life is a process and a journey. Be honest and choose wisely you’ll wind up with less regret.

Healed healthy people should marry. Everyone else should stay single.

@vatop1304

25 күн бұрын

this sounds like something who hasn't healed would say. Enjoy single life, if not sorry for the person who you are with.

@_Safety_Third_

12 күн бұрын

Nobody would get married if they took your advice

Bro was cookin!! A lot of valid points were made.

This is outstandingly true. We are so conditioned to believe the hype of marriage. I think the true test of ‘love’ and commitment is non government intervention relationship..

To sum up: Making conscious choices is the key

Marriage is a social construct. Love alone is just an emotion with no social system to support it.

@vatop1304

25 күн бұрын

This is going to blow your mind, but love is not an emotion. Just bs propaganda we've been told since we are born. Love is holding yourself accountable, being open about your needs and boundaries and accepting other ppls as well.

Marriage doesn’t do the work, it doesn’t make it easier, it shouldn’t mean you that you can relax and do nothing else.

The value of marriage can be seen in the pain of divorce.

I believe marriage is about the children and the community. It's supposed to be about the larger good, but I can see why someone would think of it from a pop culture lens.

@digdogdennis

27 күн бұрын

I would rather be alone and lonely then married and angry

@matthewdolman

26 күн бұрын

@@digdogdennis I'd rather be married and happy than alone and lonely

@digdogdennis

26 күн бұрын

@@matthewdolman you give up what you want I don't make concessions with anyone

@matthewdolman

26 күн бұрын

@@digdogdennis and I wish you a lifetime of happiness (even if it is in a state of perpetual loneliness)

This guy never disappoints… excellent speaker and thinker….

I love this man! Had to laugh out loud when he asked „Why?“. I ask that question also and people look like car headlights.

I really enjoy the changes in lighting choices. Less intense light and a soft shadow on one side gives a sense of higher intimacy and a vibe of a documentary interview rather than a video podcast.

Wonderful! Some clarity at last! The responsibility is on us. How about deep friendships without the government contracts ❤❤❤🎉❤❤❤

Published a book on finding true WHOLENESS after divorce called “THE SUN ALWAYS PIERCES THROUGH”

His opinion is clearly skewed as he works with those who divorce

@moviesynopsis001

25 күн бұрын

Yes, which means he has the actual statistics

Love hearing to this, he makes so much sense.. & love the honesty

That guy feels much pissed off and irritated, lol. Chill bro.

I met quite some lawyers in my lifetime but his mindset is the best 😊

My partner is in jail (not sentenced) it’s been 18 months on remand. and it’s been almost impossible to help sort his affairs because we aren’t married.

We need to understand that when he says "a lot of people" we talk about out of "333 mil in the US".

🩵🩵🩵 The ideal situation for my level of independence is to have him live next door.

@dallasalmeida6392

27 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@wendygiardino1184

27 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@CatValentineMusic

27 күн бұрын

Yes! This! I don't want to sleep with a guy all night every night! And I hate TV, so this could work!

Marriage is a symbol of marrying money and business transactions! We criticise China or India for arranged marriage without love, but still people from other countries, even arrange themselves to marry a man or woman with money or a family with money!!!

@yonikki

27 күн бұрын

Yes ... marriage is literally a business contract. The government sees it that way, and so does the legal system. No thank you! 😂 I'll stay happy in my undocumented relationship. I'm a paralegal and officiated my brother's wedding last year ... it's literally just binding paperwork filed with the state.

@GBU61

17 күн бұрын

Marriage was to keep the wealthy rich by only considering others of similar financial backgrounds. Arranged marriages are an example of this. Actually it makes a lot of sense considering from a historical standpoint marriage had nothing to do with romance.

I’m 50 and happily single, but this is exactly why my favorite couple has always been Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn 🥳🥰

@lisao6928

16 сағат бұрын

That's sad.

This whole thing has left me crying. It just upsets me.

@brianbodt3364

27 күн бұрын

Why, and how so? If you don't mind me asking.

From a 62 yr woman, who has been divorced, that was so interesting, and I totally agree! I would love it if my daughter never got married, and just lived with someone, or just lives on her own.

@delaslight

27 күн бұрын

😐

@richardmori1389

27 күн бұрын

That is profoundly sad. A sound Christian marriage is a “safe” place for responsibility, commitment, personal growth , help, giving, love, sex, financial security and deep companionship. It does require two people who are both committed to those ends.

Terrific episode. Entertaining and insightful.

“What problem do I have to which marriage is the solution?” 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Great talk there I’m sure that lawyer has quite a few stories What’s amazing to me is that it sounds like he’s real life situations & versions of Tony Soprano come into his office & talk with him

My parents have five divorces between them, trust me what I witnessed is proof that I will NOT make the same massive mistake they did. Stupid decision leads to stupid consequence. I'll enjoy a lonely freedom and keep my loot rather than endure a bitter divorce where she takes half or everything. Better to suffer the paid consultation of this lawyer BEFORE rather than after you discover how stupid you were.

@nkk3997

27 күн бұрын

Lonely Freedom....what an accurate description....love it!!!

It's exclusively for gold diggers. And insecure people. It makes zero sense for normal people.

Wow this dude literally just changed my perception of my marriage . I really have it good lol

Omg love it! So true!

This comment section proves that our human brain is not able to process statistics or understand it intuitively. If you watch the whole episode, he is giving us his rare perspective and in the most empathetic way possible that marriage does simply not lead to happiness. It's full of pain in reality but as an idealistic life goal, it's still worth trying because being able to feel these pains is also what gives life meaning. Never once did he say marriage is bad so you shouldn't do it. He's saying you should use your brain, approach marriage with a rational attitude, and separate love and marriage. Love is praiseworthy. Commitment is noble. Marriage is a social construct.

@Rawmel84

20 күн бұрын

I agree love and relationships are two different things . You can love something or someone any not have a relationship with them and have relationships with things and people you don’t love . People crazy hahah !

Love this guy!

Extraordinary podcast. That is all I can verbalize about it right now.

After having been married, I couldn't agree more with James.

Absolutely 💯 to that

This was GREAT! I say this ALL THE TIME(ALL OF IT).... to my wife, even, lol. 🤷🏾‍♂️

I think we can all conclude that marriage is not something we need to rush or obsess over. I would add maybe stop judging people especially single parents. I married desperately, because I had faced so much hypocritical judgment when I was a young single mom in college.

The best thing is to use your brain and intelligence at all times. Or most times. Because the question is, is it really still worth getting married if you need to take your time purposefully thinking about and collecting ideas and reasons for and against it. I mean if you have a whole pros/cons list written down and/or you feel the necessity to get a bunch of other people's opinions whether or not you need to do it, probably you should NOT go for it at all. I myself am in a 4 years relationship, married for 1.5 years, no doubts ever since. Got married at 41, came as a totally natural decision on a simple September day. Not religious, not because of kids or money, not afraid, not under any pressure. Just happy and even more convinced after.

Marriage is complete adjustment,if two people are willing to do that.. when life throws wierdest ups and downs at people and they tide over it together it makes life beautiful,Yes get married but have the depth to adjust and do so if both have100% commitment...coz its not easy(love will develop eventually)

This dude is truth telling...

only 15%??? something is amiss here... Also, only 608k subs is also weird... keep at it.. this will be a top serious channel. Great Job

Mt partner and I have been together for 25 years. Marriage barely ever came up. Only to agree to completey omit it from our lives. Everyone's opinions and criticism be damned. It's still hard. It's still painful. But we are happy and proud to still be together.

Why marry ? Tax cuts

I’ll get married if the laws are changed, otherwise it’s lose/lose. Never sign a contract where one of the parties is incentivised to break it and depending on the laws in your country never move in with your partner, in the UK you become married in common law after two years and you sign the contract by default.

@Mahalah_

27 күн бұрын

An unmarried couple can never be 'common law married' because common law marriage or common law spouses no longer exist in UK law and haven’t done since 1753! It is a popular myth that couples are 'common law married' if they have lived together for a certain number of years, but this is not the case. Unmarried couples do not have the same rights nor claims as married couples in the UK. Even if you live together for 30 years you would not be a beneficiary unless stated specifically in a will, and there is certainly no claim/provision on separation other than if you have children.

@InimitaPaul

27 күн бұрын

@@Mahalah_ Maybe AI is hallucinating then because I looked it up before posting to make sure of what I was saying and it says it still exists and it gave me a ish load of salient information and it was sourced from government and legal websites.

@delaslight

27 күн бұрын

Prenup

@InimitaPaul

27 күн бұрын

@@Mahalah_ Do some research with AI mate, I did before I posted and you’re incorrect.

@nonowayjose9159

11 күн бұрын

So in UK, never move in together...

Newsflash... Being a divorce lawyer in absolutely NO way makes him an authority on marriage or how to keep one together. He only deals with a very specific and narrow angle of the marriage experience in his profession.

@user540000

26 күн бұрын

He actually deals with over 50% of the marriage experience

@theodosios2615

26 күн бұрын

@@user540000 That's not what I meant. Even in that 50%, he only deals with the end result, from legal perspective. And he only know what the 2 parties tell him, in their own biased version. He's missing years or decades of context, plus he's not a trained psychologist.

It is very hard to cheat when you have an emotional connection...so sorry but ppl may "like" their spouse but if they cheat they do not longer love them..most couples have no deep emotional connection, it is just lust and infatuation

As a happily married man I completely agree with everything he says about the children. But if I ever get divorced you would have to cut off all of my limbs to ever get me to marry again.

@annacronan8994

24 күн бұрын

😂

Do people take out some sort of prenup if they dont get married?

@yonikki

27 күн бұрын

Pre-nup means prenuptial ... and translates to pre marriage/ pre wedding. So the answer depends on whether they intend to marry and create an outline before that date - the prenup agreement is "activated" upon getting married.

This dude is wrong. He is the epitome of our society. I am not religious. I’m 40 and been married 20 years. Let’s hear his personal track record in relationships….

@user540000

26 күн бұрын

lol he literally has the statistics on his side. just because you didnt get divorced doesnt mean 60% of people didnt

@moviesynopsis001

25 күн бұрын

Whoosh

@josephsantangelo2801

20 күн бұрын

He admits he’s been divorced and his ex is a very good friend now.

@petersouthernboy6327

10 күн бұрын

OP, Google the Divorce statistics.

Marriage made me broke

I love this guy's mind!

Let him cook! 🧑‍🍳 life is short , we should live it intentionally and make choices consciously! Im not for or against marriage ! I think it’s just as beautiful or destructive as we let it be !

Marriage is a sacrament between a man and woman to bring God’s children into the world and to teach them how to save their souls by learning to love God. Faith, dedication, ambivalence, hierarchy and physical intimacy keep it strong. (Bc this guy isn’t religious he is giving out purely worldly info, it takes help from God and living free from mortal sin to keep from the evil of divorce.)

I don’t disagree with you except on one point; I disagree with the premise that there is a wrong answer when asked “why.”

Damn.

Catholic school has a lot to answer for.

When you believe in nothing, then no rules rule and you end up ruled only by your desires. Which could be enjoyable for you as an individual but will have negative impacts on family and society. I thank God everyday that I'm religious and have a reference to go to to distinguish right and wrong.

@ermyr7743

27 күн бұрын

I'm not religious, but the nonchalance when referring to unethical things is so disheartening.

@chuckkwaske958

27 күн бұрын

The atheists I know are more loving, less judgmental, and genuinely kinder than most religious people I know. Lord, save me from your followers.

@jinka29

26 күн бұрын

@@chuckkwaske958 "Less judgemental", but didnt you just judge all religious people with this statement you made 😅

@chuckkwaske958

25 күн бұрын

@@jinka29 Discernment is different from judgement, and I can only speak about the people I’ve met

The Bible discourages marriage (1 Corinthians 7:38). Religions assume that marriage is a requirement because the Bible regulates it and because God performed the first one, however, the first two humans were perfect, marriage was made for them, not for imperfect people (1 Corinthians 7:28). Imperfection causes “tribulations” in marriage. The regulations that the Bible puts on marriage are designed to make it successful despite imperfection. But the Bible does not require it because it say that those who stay single will do better. So people who need to marry for some reason (the Bible mentions *ex as one of those reasons), need to do what they can to protect themselves and their children before marrying, so that if they give up or need to escape, they and their kids don’t end up homeless.

I'm not because I know better.

People with strong inclinations to being self centered should t get married . It requires selflessness and a great commitment to make it work. Mostly men are not neurologically wired for it and any women getting into it should understand that they they will have a domesticated cat that will at least once go out and not be faithful

He forgot that you only have to live together to be seen as de facto and legally bound in shared assets.... so you can still require a pre nup just for moving in with a new partner! Maybe staying single or living separately is the only system that would work in this guys mind. I dunno, seems like we need more community than that as a species or our social fabric breaks down. Monogamy isnt that bad. Choose your partner wisely is all and dont settle or marry for external validation. Btw im 41 and single for the last 6 years so monogamy sounds pretty nice to me now... Not so much with my ex partner though 6 years ago! Haha

How do you even judge if what He is saying is right, is good. It is just a subjective opinion of one person. What he assumes is right, good may be really bad according to someone else. So what is the standard? The standard is what God has revealed to us through His prophets in the collective scriptures what we call the Bible today. What He has revealed is right, is good. Whatever I have said may bounce off your ears or irritate you just as the guest of this podcast was with comments like "Marriage is a covenant that the couple make with God...". I beg that you would turn from your sins and repent before God. Trust in Him. He will give you a new heart, new purpose with new desires, to do His will, to do good, to do what is right. Truly right. God be with you.

@phyllis9463

26 күн бұрын

Exactly, there is no moral compass! No right, no wrong. People should be able to do whatever they want, when they want, but why is it everyone agrees that killing a person is wrong? Strange, because according to their ideology, it should be okay because I believe it’s okay! God speaks of this in Proverbs 14:12-13 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. 13 Even in laughter the heart is sorrowful; and the end of that mirth is heaviness.” This man seems like he’s carrying a ton of bricks.

If you think that being married will make you happier: You probably shouldn’t get married 🤣

@drakewinwest9888

27 күн бұрын

Why should you then?

Have in prenup: women treats the man as good as a dog or cat. 99% of women don't. Marriage issue solved.

Marriage is a legal mechanism to transfer resources from men to women.

@sunvalleyerin1

27 күн бұрын

Marriage is a legal mechanism to transfer rights, time, energy and freedom from women to men.

@sunvalleyerin1

27 күн бұрын

- just don’t involve the government & religion!

@thiacari

27 күн бұрын

Statistically, marriage is a mechanism that improves mens' lives despite the end result (divorce, widowed) - across the board, men that have been married are healthier, richer, get more sex, are taken care of when they are old by wife or children. Before a divorce, the free work provided by women allows for a much higher income, either through careers or running a business together. Even after a divorce, men might lose a part of their assets, but after that they continue getting richer. Overall, divorced men are still better off than single men.

@Serahpin

27 күн бұрын

@@thiacari "The top ten percent of men that women try to marry tend to be better off than the bottom 90%" You don't say?

@user-mi7ls4ij8j

27 күн бұрын

@@sunvalleyerin1 what rights do you lose that the man doesn’t lose in marriage. You become one! Just stop with the loss of rights BS. OMG

Would love to hear a no BS analysis of how many lives he ruined by lying in court to win for his clients.

Why do you guys never talk about the marriage/divorce laws and how they all favor women and screw over men?

@ballen8905

27 күн бұрын

😂😂😂

@jinka29

27 күн бұрын

😅

@user-mi7ls4ij8j

27 күн бұрын

Exactly 👍🏻

@user-mi7ls4ij8j

27 күн бұрын

The extremely bias divorce laws are whats killing marriage. Men have been getting hosed for 50 years. We tired of it and finally learning from it. It is absolutely shocking and disgraceful how suppressed how hard divorce is on men.

@user-mi7ls4ij8j

27 күн бұрын

Seriously the brutality of divorce on men is literally radio silence on main stream anything. Thats because the government makes money off of the redistribution of wealth. Marriage is a industry that still needs suckers.

There’s cheating, And then there’s betrayal. Huge difference

This guy sounds angry and sarcastic.

He is in his early fifties, divorced, 2 kids, probably all these explain his bitterness and skepticism. He of course teaches what he cannot do right?! I started watching the video twice and can never get beyond just a few minutes because his voice and demeanor are simply so unbearable.

Talk about time-wasters...that guy didn't say anything new or interesting. You've squandered some of your creds.

This man is unhinged. Not "passionate" - just unhinged. He's got some big issues to work out.