Health cannot bond with unhealthy. Love that!

This is Therapy, Theology and Teaching. A therapist, a theologian and a teacher. (New title - Teaching Therapy and Theology!) You are such an amazing teacher, Lysa. You said you bring the issues - but you're the teacher and bring the message together and explain it so well. It's taking me ages to watch because I'm stopping to write notes all the way through. Thank you to you all - I watch each video you do together - full of so much wisdom, knowledge and experience.

I sure wish this info and council was in the Church back in 2006. 14 years in abuse but out 4 years and blessed beyond measure! God has taught me soooooo much through what I've gone through!❤

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching, friend!

Boundaries will cost you. And God is always calling us to more truth, integrity, holiness with Him. Very difficult. And this is what I’ve learned it really means to loving others- wanting and calling up the best in others requires saying NO to unholiness and destructive attitudes and behaviors. We need more of this clarity. It will drive us the cross. Count the cost. Grieve through it and their is such value in the other side of that!

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching, Katie!

Wow. God has brought this subject of boundaries to my attention very recently. I realized that I was feeling the effects of lacking boundaries and needed to learn about setting effective boundaries with someone ASAP! This was a gift. I ordered the book…it arrived yesterday. I can’t thank you enough for explaining so well what was happening (access & responsibilities)…but even more, What healthy boundaries look like and that I don’t need to feel guilty for setting them. ❤❤

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching, Susan!

“I don’t need anyone to co-sign my boundaries!” This!

@AyleseW

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! Especially when those boundaries we are holding to are established through the Father's principals from His word.

Bless you all! God is so sweet to bring this series to my attention right when I need it and am ready for it! Thank you SO much for sharing your knowledge and truth. You'll see the lives you impacted on the other side 💞

Recently, in a sincere and focused manner, I’ve been asking God for direction on some relationships. Lysa’s book, “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes,” is an answer to my prayers and affirmation for my direction. 🙌🏾

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching, Lesa!

Lisa & gentlemen, THANK YOU! This made SO MUCH SENSE! This was so clear & opened up my understanding in areas of this topic that weren't clear to me! Thank you so much! Glory to God! I'm getting that book!!! 💥💐🤔😳🙄😬😵‍💫😅🤣😂🤣🕊💫🎵👏🙋‍♀️👏🌠

Could you please give some practical life examples of different levels of responsibility/access. What would a level 3 look like vs a level 10?

JUST GOT THE BOOK!

Sad. Human wisdom when the high, exalted, perfect wisdom of the word of God is available!

Thank you for teaching us. I eventually realized that when i continually complained to others, I am doing what I have learned thus making good people to set a boundary on me. I continually work on me to be still and quiet. I learned about boundaries years ago and have done my best to cut myself off from them so i do no drop to their level. As a single man, i have stayed close to Father to avoid these toxic relationships.

Jesus had discernment... which is something many do not have. Jesus knew what each disciple could handle, and he knew how to come alongside each disciple without compromising on boundaries. He knew this was important for peace, growth, and love. Be well and be at peace

It’s so great to here this. I think this is something that needs to be taught before and during the marriage.

Yes I choose peace and happiness. Left a lying CHEAT. Hard journey but worth it!! God is good. I am free!!!❤

Love this series, such valuable information!! Thank you, Lysa, Joel and Jim for freely giving your time and expertise. I am so sad for Lysa (praying for her) and her ongoing healing from emotional, sexual, mental, financial abuse and trauma; being receiving end of her stbx's affair's and addictions. She has been through soooo much but she is so helpful, to so many. It seems so unfair for her and others to endure the incredible heartbreak, in a so-called relationship. With all due respect--- I can't help but hear as she explains in detail why she did what she did (leaving to protect her mental health). And what is helping her through all of this, now ~ But it's like she's talking specifically to Art. . . . In the hope that he will finally get-it and hear all the pain and anguish he has continued to cause. I do hope he listens but he sounds like a narcissistic prideful jerk, with an insatiable appetite to abuse women! SO if you are reading comments Art Terheurst, I pray the Angel of the Lord pursue you and cause you to fall into a pit crying out to GOD, my Mighty King and Creator of the universe, in full repentance for causing pain and anguish to His daughter Lysa! In Jesus Mighty name! amen ♥

@pippa212

Жыл бұрын

I find that people like him do not get it. It takes an intervention from God in some significant way for the scales to drop from their eyes. Lysa is incredible. She will move past this and continue to be a good, Godly woman.

@Thankful305

Жыл бұрын

@@pippa212 very true! It takes the Holy Spirit to convict his heart and only God can soften it 🕊🙏

@franceshaggitt3104

Жыл бұрын

Hear you. I've had two abusive relationships. Had boundaries and he walked over them so I chucked him away. Abusers.

This study has changed my life! Thank you Lysa, Joel and Jim! You 3 are the dream team and each bring clarity and a different perspective to the subject! Amen and AMEN 🙏 🙏

SOBRIETY is A Virtue

Please have a conversation about how to limit access when remaining in a marriage

These videos are so helpful! Thank you! My husband surprised me with Lysa's book "Embraced". I loved it immediately. Normally I have to force myself to read but can't put that one down. I'm wanting to buy it for everyone 😆 not because I think they need it and I don't but because it's helping me so much already and I've only had it 2 days!

Extremely powerful!

First few minutes in...🙌💓Amen!! Freedom in Christ.

This is so NEEDED !!!!!!!!!

This series is so good!

Thank You!!! I better understand that I must reply more on the "need" from God. I've been similar in relationships and completely get it.

So good.... Joel always hits the exact sticking points of my heart. I made bad decisions because I didn't trust, believe that God was enough. I'm suffering the consequences of that bad decision and still don't know, believe, trust that God will fill these empty places. He's taking too long.....

Yes some will not stop.

Took me 60 years to learn this..also in th south and a Christian...where's th fence yall?😢😂

My boundaries cost me my relationship with my grandkids. Parents only let me see them when I’m doing saying what makes them happy

Thank you so much Lysa and P31 ministry team for doing what you do! These videos have been tremendous help in my journey of self discovery and healing. God bless

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

11 ай бұрын

We're so glad this helped you! Thanks for watching!

Thank you, Lysa, Joel & Jim! So helpful and necessary. 🙏🙏🙏

This is so timely!

Appreciate this so much! Perfect trio!

What a blessing this is!!!! Thank you

Thank you so much.

maaaaann so good!!! the whole basis of jeremiah 2:13!! 🔥

This goes work working relationships too!! Very interesting point with the water glass tilted! Thank you!!

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching, Theresa.

Thank you so much to all three of you. This helps so much. Please keep it up. There are so many people who need this.

I'm in Separation My husband threatened divorce He expects me to come back home because he wants to find another place to live I had to uphold my healthy boundaries by saying No I will not give up my place under those circumstances, I need to feel safe and have the relationship we agreed upon working on I reminded him , he told me to leave because he paid the bills , and I was expected to make my changes

I just got the book and can’t wait to read it.

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

🙌

Going to order this book you recommended. Thank you!

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching, Stacy!

This is so very Good in fact Great information!!!

@hollinaomi

Жыл бұрын

it's desceptive information!

So what are the consequences we use to establish a boundarie? What do i do? Ignore? stop our relationship?

Excellent!

This was amazing. Listening to you all is life-changing. How do you stop doubting yourself when you end what you felt was wrong?

@JaiACurtis

Жыл бұрын

Reading scripture, especially the book of proverbs, has always helped me. Taking a mental inventory as I read of the behavior in the relationship. Was it wise or was it foolish? I've found many times that it helps to really understand what God thinks, then you can go from "feeling" to "knowing". I hope this helps!

Thank you all for the amazing work you are doing❤

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for watching, Ariel!

People pleasing can also be about survival. That causes constant stress to your body and soul.

What about setting boundaries with an adult child when a grandchild's well being is at stake?

Where is the object of my faith?

4:23 question^^^ do we need to tell them, or can we just back off and let them figure it out? My issue keeps coming back around that I don't feel like I know how to say those things they seem too bold for me, so I don't say them but the person (s) get mad and angry because I ignore them

Boundaries are hard when you have an adopted older child with minor special needs who does not accept healthy boundaries and brings chaos to your family structure. Help!

I really want to preorder the book but I’m moving in a week and don’t know what my permanent address will be

Btw this was amazing

This is helpful

How do you do this with a daughter? She's always short and many times rude with me, as well as makes snide remarks. I left her father after 35yrs of dealing with addiction and alcoholism as well as I could no longer take his remarks about his double life and interest in others in his "likeness" towards the end that I was mislead about. He passed last year due to alcoholism. And ever since she's been way worse towards me then before that. It now affects my relationship with my grandkids. I now live in TX and can only make it to CA once a year. She limits me to seeing them 2 days out of 2 weeks. It hurts so much only seeing them 2 days a year and I'm lucky if I get to talk to them by phone twice a year, with no calls for holidays. I deal with this same thing with my DIL and my son won't speak up for me cuz he doesn't want to fight with her and says he doesn't want to end up in divorce so he can't. Basically I have 8 grandkids and a non existent relationship with. It's literally eating me up inside. And if I set boundaries, I miss what little time I get with my grandkids completely then made out to be the bad guy who doesn't care about them. When I love my grandkids more then anything and just want a normal grandparent relationship with them as well as with my kids 💔 I don't have any of these issues with my youngest, but he is a believer and a recovered addict that truly understands my heart and where I'm coming from as well as understands I needed out of my marriage for my own health and wellbeing. I'm a cancer survivor too 💜 Idk what to do? I want boundaries but I want to see my grandkids, unfortunately their used as a weapon 😔 I've bn praying a long time for God to heal this situation 🙏

@hollinaomi

Жыл бұрын

I have been born and raised in TX and I say quit listening to Lysa. She is not in the Truth. She is about her own audience. Short answer to your question... you give consequences. My son went through therapy from his being bullied, and we as a family learned that people will choose what they want save for a consequence. Research choices and consequences. Super helpful!

@rhondafrederick9610

Жыл бұрын

I am sending you a link to a Derek Prince video which talks of alienation in family relationships. If you feel it applies to you, there is another video 'Prayer for a dark shadow from the past'. kzread.info/dash/bejne/fYWotZqzdc3Mprg.html

@MsBellsandy

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like boundary issues all around. Your son is having his boundaries crossed by his wife. Maybe family counseling could be an option one day

@abbasgirl8153

8 ай бұрын

​@holli524 and what biblical evidence do you have to say such a thing?

Lysa, I wonder if you covered this verse, which seems to deny boundaries. 1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

@AyleseW

Жыл бұрын

In Roman's Paul writes, "You have been bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body," so I think there is a balance of God instilling in us individual bodily autonomy single or in marriage, and while in marriage to live it out WITH consideration of how each others choices can affect one anothers bodies. If I know my husband doesn't like to kiss onion breath, then I'm going to skip the onions on a burger for lunch if I have a date planned that evening with him. If my husband tries to violate and use my body sexually with disregard for my need gor emotional connection then that is not God honoring, so I wouldnt be obligated to just hand over full autonomy of my body to him or him force himself to kiss onions. Mutual love and respect seems to be the principal, so therefore boundaries would be a natural healthy extension of that.

Pls tell me why question here aren’t answered. I think the lack of engagement isn’t good. What do u think?

What about a boundary with a person who is toxic and you don't want a relationship with them? My husband's ex recently started coming to our church with her new husband. They are both toxic people. It has become very hard for me to have them at church with us, mostly because of how they treat us outside of church. I need a boundary to protect me and my peace.

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

We're praying for you right now, Brandi.

I wish my husband has interest learning about marriage 😊

Fear God won’t fulfill my need. Wow wow😢

Jeremiah 2:13

How about the verse turning the other cheek?

Link doesn't work to pre-order the book. 🙃

@OfficialProverbs31Ministries

Жыл бұрын

Hi friend! Thank you for letting us know. Here is the correct link: www.p31bookstore.com/collections/lysa-terkeurst-books-and-bible-studies/products/good-boundaries-and-goodbyes

Can Jim Cress move to my community for a year or so. 😀

0:46 yes yes yes 1:01 you feel the heavy,evildoers finds the most vulnerabl prey. The name calling, slanderous, poison takes over their prey. The time it takes thd prey to be freed of the talons can be weeks, months and possibly years. God wants us to love our neighbors, be kind, and pray for our persecutors during healing is my way to get back to HIS words in my Bible studies (IRL or Bible group via email) worshiping and seek my level of my true faith in God and Holy Spirit.

How do you set boundaries with a sister-in-law who does not take any steps to meet in the middle to right the wrongs? And my husband could care less. So I'm the outcast.

@charlottesanders271

Жыл бұрын

It is ok, give this situation to God and allow His Grace to carry you through this!!! He will supply this need and heal you for you!!!

@Webbgurl2000

Жыл бұрын

Stop putting yourself out there for her to use. Only deal with her if you must. Yes, this is hard, but it’s the only way

@MsBellsandy

Жыл бұрын

Depends on what exactly is her pattern.

God is wanting you to come to him!! He loves us. You don’t have to wonder who has your back or who loves you!! Pray this prayer and have God come into your life. Jesus, I believe you are the Son of God, that you died on the cross to rescue me from sin and death and to restore me to the Father. I choose now to turn from my sins, my self-centeredness, and every part of my life that does not please you. I choose you. I give myself to you. I receive your forgiveness and ask you to take your rightful place in my life as my Savior and Lord. Come reign in my heart, fill me with your love and your life, and help me to become a person who is truly loving-a person like you. Restore me, Jesus. Live in me. Love through me. Thank you, God. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

What happens when you are seeking God, and trying to heal and set boundaries...but you're married to someone who won't stop violating them? I have tried everything I can think of to express to my husband that I can't handle the emotional and verbal abuse anymore, but he continues to do it. I'm lost and so frustrated.

@shetalkslife5497

Жыл бұрын

I am praying for you. Focus On The Family has very good resources as well… praying!

@newlinsa

Жыл бұрын

@@shetalkslife5497 Thank you! I desperately need it. Specifically, I need wisdom to know what to do. I know God is able to do all things, but God also allows free will. All I know is I can't keep going like I am...and neither can my kids.

@rhondafrederick9610

Жыл бұрын

@@newlinsa you as a Christian are not to tolerate any kind of abuse from a spouse who is a professing Christian. Your tolerance enables them to continue sinning and bring reproach on the name of Christ. I would refer you to 2 Cor 11:20. You may want to consider a temporary separation while he gets help or comes to his senses.

@donnaludy4743

Жыл бұрын

I suggest you find a Christian counselor near you to walk this journey with you. I've been there and abuse is never okay. You and your children need to be safe and away from it and that needs to be your boundary. If you treat me like this I will not be around you. So that may mean you need to leave and go someplace safe and continue to work on yourself with your counselor while also offering marriage counseling to your husband. He may or may not be willing, but you need to keep yourself and your children safe.

@MsBellsandy

Жыл бұрын

Expression won't work with this type of person. Only consequences. I am also learning about boundaries. When my husband starts I tell him if he continues to talk that way I will walk away. Once I told him I would take the kids to spend the night at a friend's house if he didn't stop yelling in front of them. I repeatedly say I'm not going to argue with you and let him run out of steam or leave the room. It really feels like a broken record, but I say it as much to remind myself I don't have to respond as much as to him. I have been hit or miss on getting triggered myself but it's hard exercise. This helps but it will depend on your situation. It took me a month of saying "counselor" to him every time he tried to complain or argue at me for him to agree to go and now we are in counseling so that's something. But it's terribly painful to put up a boundary you've never had or realized you needed. I tried all the expression stuff, he doesn't understand and takes no responsibility, so the only thing that worked was consequences. Consequences you can live with. Start with a little one like telling him you will leave the room or the house for some space if he continues. God loves us too much to let us stay where we are. And Jesus tough loved the Pharisees all the time because of their hard hearts. Jesus is in your corner sister.🕊️

Is it a proper boundary to have zero access to my son and grandkids because I voted for Trump, and hence a white supremacist?

@MsBellsandy

Жыл бұрын

That's just intolerance, not a boundary. A boundary is for protection, and protection from different opinions will leave the grandkids very stunted. But unfortunately they are their kids. This generation doesn't value family anymore. Toxic behavior is one thing. Different opinions is the trauma of the snowflake generation.

@saramartinez103

Жыл бұрын

Insanity!!! Hope they're happy with their political choice now. So sorry for you sister, keep you in my prayers! Strength and peace for you

@Bluegrassprincess

Жыл бұрын

Withholding love is an Anti christ Unloving spirit. Start telling those Unloving spirits to go, bind them, send them.to abys and instead allow an unleash of joy to fill their hearts with greater desire to know th Lord. That is a prayer to freedom! I hope you get to experience the rest.of your days with company and visits.from your loved ones.

@dnaphysics

Жыл бұрын

This is exactly the problem with these “boundary” ideas if one is not extremely careful. Your son will say that because you voted for Trump, you’re a white supremacist and an abusive person and so he has to set a boundary and protect his kids from you.

This is so awful. Don't listen to her anymore. Esp men. Ignore Lysa.

@NotFromTheGov

Жыл бұрын

You sound like someone who doesn’t like when healthy people have healthy boundaries you can’t trample.