this has about the energy of a divorced dad who tries to keep his son to live with him

@sunnyvalejedi

4 жыл бұрын

That's a beautifully tragic scene.

@SirLoLo

4 жыл бұрын

That was my life for awhile, but it was mainly burgers, pizza and beans

@SirLoLo

4 жыл бұрын

But burgers with avocado and cream cheese turned out to be great

@latinospammer8441

4 жыл бұрын

@@SirLoLo damn man sorry to hear that

@ulysses1271

4 жыл бұрын

Well I mean this guy did almost strangled his son to death

“wait, it’s all mayonnaise?” “always has been”

@sertave6850

3 жыл бұрын

*gunshots intensify*

@buurmanbuurman-5997

3 жыл бұрын

🔫 “always will be”

@velocitytime5615

3 жыл бұрын

Wait, it’s all shitty comments? *always has been*

@kalmah456

3 жыл бұрын

Not funny, terrible attitude.

@buurmanbuurman-5997

3 жыл бұрын

Buhn Babinski that’s the joke

Jack wasn't making a Caesar salad, he was making a Seizure salad.

@Arnex19

Жыл бұрын

Ngl, that was a good pun.

@fbidumbbee

Жыл бұрын

great seizure salad, batman!

@McLovin_2004

Жыл бұрын

Underrated comment.

@christian_aspen

Жыл бұрын

Excellent 🫡

@seizuresalad1558

Жыл бұрын

You called?

Everybody laughs, but Jack Scalfoni is a pillar of a man. Here is somebody, that clearly, can not cook, and yet, is famous, and gets paid, and has his own sauce lib in Walmart, and lives a comfortable life doing exactly what he CAN’T do! That’s pure motivation to chase your dreams.

@alexanderfreeman3406

Жыл бұрын

He’s also had multiple strokes and has completely lost the use of his right arm.

@2shmoo

Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderfreeman3406 you take the good with the bad 🤷‍♂️

@squid1481

Жыл бұрын

I do not think his sauces are sold in big stores anymore

@LongKami219

Жыл бұрын

No, Jack is a piece of shjt. This mf bragging about nearly choking his son to death in one of the podcast he's in

@gauismaximus595

Жыл бұрын

@@wesleypalmier2751 when Damm never knew that

“He even has a line of barbecue sauce at Walmart” It’s just mayonnaise

@sapphinese

3 жыл бұрын

And he snorts it like coke

@emperorninja1965

3 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/eYun1cp_dqfMYrg.html

@jaden4804

3 жыл бұрын

Its just mayo with brown food coloring

@blixx3272

3 жыл бұрын

he filled a cunh of barbeque sauce bottles with mayonnaise and sold it

@Peashooter1Fan

3 жыл бұрын

Its just mayonnaise colored reddish-brown

Fun fact: cinco de mayo stands for five heaping spoons of mayonaisse.

@TheOverlordPepper

3 жыл бұрын

What’s Cinco de Mayo? I’ve only ever heard of Five Heaping Spoons of Mayonnaise

@andrzejkarolak3766

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheOverlordPepper It is a mexican holiday that takes place on may 5th. People gather around enormous pot of mayo each holding huge spoon. Everyone brings some food and put five heaping spoons of mayo from this pot on the food they bring... sorry I need to go, I left my mayonaisse on the stove.

@kaelthunderhoof5619

3 жыл бұрын

Ah, so you won't die from four heaping spoons of mayo? That's great.

@OliveUploadsOnYT

3 жыл бұрын

@@andrzejkarolak3766 I don’t think you got the joke

@xtato

3 жыл бұрын

@@OliveUploadsOnYT i dont think you read what he wrote

Jacks videos are remarkably professional, decent camera angles, mic could use some work but overall the experience is pleasant for the viewer. If the food was actually good he could potentially blossom as a channel.

@bigtitmaster

Жыл бұрын

And some lighting

@fart63

Жыл бұрын

@@spokesperson_ he was literally bragging about how he was going to kill his son. Pretty frightening

@ReidGameX

Жыл бұрын

Blossom?? This guy has been doing this shit for 15 years. I don't understand what his thought process is.

@FrankBullitt390

Жыл бұрын

Its a fake cooking show, like, infomercial level shit you use to see on TV at 4am. I would almost bet that is his background. He saw a need for a cooking show on youtube back in 2010 and went for it, with no cooking skills, but skills in the other areas, and it worked, then, not anymore. Look at his sub to view ratio.

@HungerGamesFan88

Жыл бұрын

epic meal time, but missing the essential ingredient: the collective understanding by both audience and creator that the content is just shitposting

7:21 when you said “oh it’s a chocolate-mayonnaise-cake” i thought you were joking…. i have no words for that.

@LiterallyAllNamesAreTaken

Жыл бұрын

I mean mayo is just eggs and oil which are ingredients needed for chocolate cake so it’s not that wild. I think there’s legitimate recipes that use mayo.

@gumbitoicic9977

11 ай бұрын

@@LiterallyAllNamesAreTakenYeah, I remember seeing 3 ingredient pancakes and mayo was part of it. The pancakes looked pretty good too

@gearsmacker8598

2 ай бұрын

⁠your eyes are poisoned with mayo, Mayo is everything and everyone, you live and die for Mayo

@yourfathersinferioritycomplex

Ай бұрын

Mayo is actually a super common ingredient in baking, makes cakes super moist

jack: **drinks jar of mayonaise** "hmm that could've used some mayonaise"

@vaporfox115

3 жыл бұрын

Jack:Where is the mayo? The thief in his house:Uhhhhhhhh.

@devinotero1798

3 жыл бұрын

Why tf was this so funny

@sgtketchup

3 жыл бұрын

excuse me that’s mr. jakatak to you

@ryandippolito705

3 жыл бұрын

jack cooking show foot mayo

@peasant502

3 жыл бұрын

well you cant expect jack to be content after only drinking the equivalent of one heaping spoonful of mayonnaise.

His bbq sauce is probably just mayo and brown food coloring

@Triggernlfrl

4 жыл бұрын

or mayo and tree thea spoons of oregano

@HA-oo7fo

4 жыл бұрын

Thomas Jager three heaping spoons

@D0NCH33T0

4 жыл бұрын

Or pureed shit with a little red food coloring and some chicken juice

@absentisomnis8650

4 жыл бұрын

damn, they must have fit one of the jars right into the bottle somehow

@basicbitch7175

4 жыл бұрын

bbq sauce is actually made of mayo and brown sugar

I love how at the end he says, "A little tough and dry." Wow, Jack. It's burnt and raw at the same time. And somehow tough and dry, even though it's bleeding profusely. You've done a great job selling yourself and culinary skills also.

that cinco de mayo thing is genuinely the most disgusting abomination I've laid my eyes on.

man this shit makes my diet of oreos and coffee look like im treating my body as a temple

@DetectiveNyx

4 жыл бұрын

@電子レンジ泥棒 lol "go on dates"

@woebegoneclown

4 жыл бұрын

I eat some terrible shit, but this is too far

@kevinboyle3104

4 жыл бұрын

He set the bar so low you can’t dig to it

@Dinesy16

4 жыл бұрын

Thank god, another person who is partial to a diet of oreos and coffee! 😅

@onion2098

4 жыл бұрын

@Samuel O'Connor its from an anime on crunchyroll called ジョー・ママ its easier to translate it on google first

on second thought, how to basic isnt so bad.

@ponponpompon

4 жыл бұрын

Yo don't come for how to basic

@cinnqminx

3 жыл бұрын

@@ponponpompon yea he actually knows how to cook, but just eggs are a great additon

@richieC1999

3 жыл бұрын

@@cinnqminx indeed

@GamerboyAli

3 жыл бұрын

They're brothers.

@goawayrayy

3 жыл бұрын

Depends on what bad means. Bad person? Probably not. Bad at being funny? You bet.

"I eat healthy, lots of salad" Salad = noodles swimming in mayonnaise

Step 1: go to the store and buy random things Step 2: add mayonnaise Step 3: mix it together and call it food

this is like the "potion" that you made when you were 6

@Liam-yl7pq

4 жыл бұрын

How relatable this was is shocking

@aki-lucky8345

4 жыл бұрын

What the fuck I wasn't even raised in a household where we had Harry potter or anything is this some weird childhood thing everyone does

@Giok8

4 жыл бұрын

I made a peanut butter pickle sandwich when I was 6 and it tasted alright, but I don’t think I put enough mayonnaise

@brocowsci

4 жыл бұрын

@@aki-lucky8345 harry potter has nothing to do with it lol it's just about being a creative curious child

@aki-lucky8345

4 жыл бұрын

@@brocowsci I was saying we weren't allowed anything magic related so I didn't even know much about potions but still acted like I was making some. Sooo yeah it kinda does

*Adds two heaping spoonfuls of mayonnaise to a bag of jolly ranchers* BEHOLD, FRUIT SALAD

@maggiee639

4 жыл бұрын

Dixie Boi you add jello mix and I’m pretty sure I saw that recipe in my grandmas cookbook.

@RustyShacklefordReal

4 жыл бұрын

@The Curious Mind depends on whether or not you're the one eating it

@king_crimson1708

4 жыл бұрын

Fruit salad Yummy yummy

@maggiee639

4 жыл бұрын

TheCrimsonMarowak STOP

@frenxxy5261

4 жыл бұрын

*2 shots of vodka*

As someone who hates mayonnaise this makes me feel physically sick. I genuinely had to look away

@hamhi98

Жыл бұрын

Mayonnaise is fucking disgusting

@allseeingirene

Жыл бұрын

Omg Livvy! I think I saw your insta once, hope ur okay!

@punkydamonkey989

Жыл бұрын

mayo is just......rancid. thats all I can say. whoever came up with it probably was high

@heathenised

Жыл бұрын

as someone who LOVES mayonnaise, this video also makes me physically sick lmao this man is a criminal actually 😭

@Notwoodcrawler

Жыл бұрын

I hate mayo and beans so the first one made me physically ill

His bean "salad" was literally just baked beans mixed with mayo.

@commitfelonyfeline

Жыл бұрын

Bitches be calling ANYTHING cold a "salad"

There is a difference between edible and eatable. His god-defying creations are neither.

@danielyoung7534

3 жыл бұрын

Im almost certain ive made these at a sleepover as dare foods ( you wimp outta a dare, you gotta eat the nasty shit)

@cookieconkle

3 жыл бұрын

They are more like non-toxic

@ronpaulssecretary

3 жыл бұрын

A piece of leather is eatable. A ball of hair is eatable.

@FestiveRocket

3 жыл бұрын

I think you meant Edible and *Palatable*

@mrmoldi

3 жыл бұрын

Can you physically eat it vs. can you mentally

Imagine asking for tea and he just microwaves some Gatorade

@unknownxd8126

5 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@StallionFernando

5 жыл бұрын

With a heaping scoop of melted mayonnaise

@poser_disposer

5 жыл бұрын

"one heaping scoop of mayonnaise or two?"

@DJLDJ132

5 жыл бұрын

This is so good.

@kian8203

5 жыл бұрын

totally not an episode of the office

So this guy's story got more interesting as it went on. On a podcast a while back, he recalled a time where his teenage son was having rage issues (and drug issues too, marijuana), and "put his hands on his dad's wife." Not sure to what extent this violence went; it wasn't made clear. What Jack described in detail was how he grabbed his son, threw him to the floor, and started choking him out. He said he wanted to kill him, and didn't know if he would stop. This continued until his son's nose was bleeding, which made him stop. Jack expressed confusion why his son wouldn't fight back, thinking that it might have been out of fear, respect, or love. Later, Jack kicked his son out of the house and said he wasn't ever welcome back. He repeated several times on the podcast that he considered himself a great parent. The son was from Jack's first marriage, and I think it was implied some of the issues might have come from him moving back and forth between houses during the co-parenting. He said all of this with no hesitation, his wife in the room, and seemed to think it was an example of his stellar parenting. Later in that video he mentioned a time visiting a church where the pastor advocated "napalming the palestinians," and his response was "where do I sign up?" Kept laughing about it and expressed his admiration for the pastor. The podcast is "Sunday Evening Coffee" if you want to look it up.

Not just a terrible chef but also a child abuser who wouldve known

@MoGumbo_

2 ай бұрын

cant forget he supports genocide too lol

@Ilivepuppys

Ай бұрын

he called his second son Jack Jr. not his first born son, so just that fact alone Garret was fucked, I would feel so unloved from the get go if my dad named my new baby brother Jack Jr. after him and I being older just got Garret, like even if you can say "maybe Mum named Garret and Jack wasn't around for the first son's birth" but even that seems sketchy and still shit to name the second son after you

@jerod.saibot

Ай бұрын

​@@Ilivepuppys There could also be the possibility of: "Oh, I'm Jack and I have a second son now. I had months to think of a name but the only ones I could think of were "Garret too" and "Jack jr".

"Hate Crime in a Pan" sounds like a Gordon Ramsay insult.

@shaunboyd3090

4 жыл бұрын

Don Voltonus I read your comment right when he said that...‘twas trippy indeed.

@trashghost2376

4 жыл бұрын

I would like this but the numbers of like is holy

@ComedicPause

4 жыл бұрын

I mean look at iiiiiiit!!! IT'S FOOKING _RAW!_

@nightwarrior2949

4 жыл бұрын

*INDEED*

@Tallimme

4 жыл бұрын

@@Goozero1 thanks mate. I sprayed all over my phone now.

I’m guessing his homemade ice cream is just frozen scoops of mayonnaise.

@SadSeal_

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@sircuffington

3 жыл бұрын

Just thinking about that makes me want to launch myself into the sun

@keylimetea

3 жыл бұрын

With sugar

@andrewhoward5283

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@fissionabledolphin

3 жыл бұрын

I think you mean *heaping* scoops of mayonnaise

Jack, this was not what the doctor meant when he told you to eat more salads.

those burgers we’re still BREATHING bro i did NOT need to see that LMFAO☹️

It’s impressive that he managed to make the meat start bleeding again.

@ohyeahnahui1121

3 жыл бұрын

It's not blood though

@crazyguyimacrazyguy5944

3 жыл бұрын

It's myoglobin

@robbieboydudeguy

3 жыл бұрын

I’m aware, I was just making a joke because it *looked* like blood

@houstonbred3930

3 жыл бұрын

Crazy Guy , I'm a crazy guy ITS FUCKING RAWWWWWW

@kertaspaper94

3 жыл бұрын

Seriously though what is that thing

“Anyone can cook!” “Well yeah that doesn’t mean everyone should”

@stupidbirb1368

3 жыл бұрын

That's a fat fact

@isdisgudnam

3 жыл бұрын

True

@cookedricee

3 жыл бұрын

This made me think of what the food critic in ratatouille said

@fellowstringcheese2296

3 жыл бұрын

@@cookedricee exactly, that’s what I’m referencing

@cookedricee

3 жыл бұрын

@@fellowstringcheese2296 ah yes I see Sorry fellow commenter I am high

Y'know... the pineapple thing started looking like it could be a thing. ... and then he dumped a literal entire container of cool whip on it, and I was disgusted.

The tomato salad could be good. When I worked at a BBQ joint we had tomato avocado salad. But that was tomato, avocado and red onion mixed with the house salad dressing. It was good, but there was a lot more veg and a lot less oil... Edit: Also Mayo cake is actually pretty good, since it was a Great Depression meal people made when oil and eggs weren't available to a lot of people.

@Adnub

Жыл бұрын

Even the tomato-macaroni salad isn't that bad. It's a pretty standard side-dish at any bbq party where I live. I don't think I have ever been to a bbq, professional or otherwise, where they don't serve a variation of that dish. Though usually it has chopped up hardboiled eggs, seasoning and ketchup mixed in as well. And a bit less mayo.

@cherishtheday2223

Жыл бұрын

That doesn’t make it good…

@thatcatalyst

Жыл бұрын

That tomato salad is pretty common in Greece, although without the 2 tons of water and oregano. Tastes quite good too, even better if you add some feta cheese to it

This guy is trying so hard to convince himself he’s healthy that he calls everything a salad.

@elderrusty541

4 жыл бұрын

Boogie_Brad the macaroni salad is like the only thing he did right, every 1,000 recipes he does something sort of right

@Franchzap

4 жыл бұрын

he just take a normal meal ant put in the refrigerator

@Franchzap

4 жыл бұрын

wait it's NOT a normal meal

@Inaku.ch.-

4 жыл бұрын

@@brocowsci tf

@fellowinternetuser2301

4 жыл бұрын

@@brocowsci you wtf did I just read

This guy is the adult version of all of us when we were 5 and threw some random sauces we found in the fridge into a huge bowl and called it a soup.

@charlie_mario6292

4 жыл бұрын

JolliLolliBackup one time I took orange juice, almonds, and salt and put it in a bucket. It was so salty that it started to wear away at the plastic

@jollilolli7692

4 жыл бұрын

@@charlie_mario6292 I once filled a glass of water with Sugar cubes to give to my Mom because I thought I had made a Soda

@jollilolli7692

4 жыл бұрын

@@charlie_mario6292 Also I didn't even know that was possible

@charlie_mario6292

4 жыл бұрын

JolliLolliBackup the acidity in the orange juice probably has to do something with it but it left some serious stains on the bucket

@maggiee639

4 жыл бұрын

JolliLolliBackup I don’t know why but I’ve been laughing at this for the last minute and a half

Fun Fact: Jack’s ancestors trace back to Jak the Mayo, a ferocious viking who celebrated his victory’s but downing multiple tubs of mayonnaise. He had a infamously short carrer as a viking, lack of modern day heart medication proved to be his down fall.

You really don't want a ground beef burger to have any amount of blood in it. It's ok for a normal steak, but ground beef can be contaminated with salmonella.

@pimas11

Жыл бұрын

Well if your burger is pink inside that’s a whole different story and it’s also not blood, like getting a burger done medium I mean

@pimas11

Жыл бұрын

But his was straight up raw lmao

@andieallison6792

Жыл бұрын

It's not blood

@spamtong.spamton8416

10 ай бұрын

It's not blood. The juice is just water mixed with myoglobin, which is the protein that makes the meat red.

This man has dedicated his life to creating edible violations of the Geneva Convention

@yourfriend8052

3 жыл бұрын

The supreme chancellor of colon cancer

@gillianfleischer5620

3 жыл бұрын

I don’t even think it’s edible

@abot4029

3 жыл бұрын

@@gillianfleischer5620 Anything is edible if you add enough mayonnaise.

@whosjoe4489

3 жыл бұрын

The man look like he about to steal Woody

@thatguykoen2508

3 жыл бұрын

@@whosjoe4489 what are you trying to say here?

I would actually pay for Gordon Ramsay's commentary over this man's videos

@holythirteenx1

5 жыл бұрын

WTF ARE YOU DOING

@greatsage1288

5 жыл бұрын

KZread Red show is Gordon just watching these videos lol

@M_RRR-tn6tk

5 жыл бұрын

kakokapolei123 "THAT MAYONNAISE CAKE HAS MORE FAT IN IT THAN YOU"

@TonyMontana-zt8on

5 жыл бұрын

The mayor of mayonnaise put mama june on blast with this shit

@courier665

5 жыл бұрын

Please someone tweet this to him PLEASE

Here after he doxxed August

@jasonotto9126

3 ай бұрын

Really!?!?! He did? So he's subscribed to sniper wolf ay 😂

I find myself coming back and watching this video very regularly

The Doctor told him he should try having more salads. This is the result.

@alaminkadir9543

5 жыл бұрын

420 likes

@Shinydrybones

5 жыл бұрын

Doctor Now?

@Pennsylvania343

5 жыл бұрын

He decided to go to Dr.Nick for a second opinion

@blizzlichd1338

5 жыл бұрын

THIS COMMENT IS GOLD

@maxwell1364

4 жыл бұрын

Jack would pour cereal milk and oregano into a bowl and call it milk salad

WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT HOW HE MIXED JELLO AND AMERICAN CHEESE

@MoldySalami

3 жыл бұрын

and cool whip

@nel_aced1125

3 жыл бұрын

Cream cheese too

@nocwyn

3 жыл бұрын

Yum my favorite

@FestiveRocket

3 жыл бұрын

I’m assuming you didn’t notice the Pineapple and Cheese. *WHICH IS JUST PINEAPPLE PIZZA WITHOUT THE SAUCE*

@Josh-jy6hg

3 жыл бұрын

After seeing a morbidly obese child eat spoonfuls of "Miwacle weep" I've learned not to question what Americans do

6:51 Hey look the tf2 logo

@oakkens

Ай бұрын

yoooo

Come back 4 years later to talk about the drama!

The worst part is that those aren’t table spoons, but serving spoons, each ‘heaping tablespoon’ is like 8 tablespoons

@theonionsystem7779

3 жыл бұрын

Fucking hell if he's not in the hospital from that then tf?

@weiwu1442

3 жыл бұрын

@@theonionsystem7779 he’s had multiple strokes and his videos now are just him on a mobility scooter narrating his wife smashing ingredients together

@shanewebb3341

3 жыл бұрын

@@weiwu1442 To be fair it could also be bad genetics aswell.

@shanewebb3341

3 жыл бұрын

@Ming Li Are you one of those science deniers?

@cheyennewoodard385

3 жыл бұрын

Almost as bad as the person that added 5 teaspoons of liquid smoke to chicken

he was making a chocolate cake then it somehow came out as a chunk of meat pretty impressive if you ask me.

@hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm6671

5 жыл бұрын

Gordon Ramsay's shitting himself rn.

@crimbonimylimboni706

5 жыл бұрын

I genuinely thought Critikal decided to swap to a burger recipe without saying anything.

@buddyguy4723

5 жыл бұрын

a half cooked chunk of ground salmonella

@Problematist

5 жыл бұрын

It's the tablespoon heap of mayonnaise. I tell you, it makes the world of a difference.

@Yourmissingleftsock2

5 жыл бұрын

The thing is it wasn't even rare, IT WAS RAW. IT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HE PUT IT ON THE PAN FOR LIKE 2 SECONDS AND TOOK IT OFF CALLING IT EDIBLE

Can we talk about how he took the fat out of the beans, only to add an ungodly amount of fatty mayo

It's like a mad scientist replaced every cell in a human victim with bacteria and gave him a kitchen and a camera

"You know what that is? It's fat." Picks out a tiny chunk of fat from the beans Proceeds to add a gallon of mayo to the beans...

@ocloud7389

4 жыл бұрын

Why couldn’t he just enjoy the baked beans by themselves, they are so good

@iamargrood7239

4 жыл бұрын

Ocloud The Evil eww what the fuck

@alexbertil2756

4 жыл бұрын

@@iamargrood7239 ew. How do you even eat this product designed to be eaten? Go back to reddit you arachnophobic subhuman.

@confusedaf1112

4 жыл бұрын

@@gabyottich7020 He's one fat cube away from death.

@SirPieRoyal

4 жыл бұрын

AlexBertil subhuman cause he is afraid of spiders?

"Heaping tablespoon of Mayo" is the new "Two shots of vodka"

@ViritoxWolf

5 жыл бұрын

Truth lmao

@joyg95

5 жыл бұрын

Stop trying to make it happen it won't happen

@AmateurContendr

5 жыл бұрын

"What's the matter pussy, you've never seen two shots of vodka before?" will always be the funniest thing ever.

@leinadyon

5 жыл бұрын

More like two shots of Vinegar. Vodka is for pussies

@redum2277

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly😂😂

every spoonful of mayonnaise activated my fight or flight reflexes

He appeared in an episode of West Texas Investor's Club, a show that is similar to Shark Tank, but shot locally in Texas, wherein he fails at business and cooking. He also starts crying and giving an overly-sentimental speech when the investors accuse him of coming on the show just for the publicity.

>removes small piece of fat as if it's a "no no" >adds 2 heaping tablespoons of mayonnaise

@theonionsystem7779

3 жыл бұрын

Also puts doritos (not the brand the actual doritos I think they're called) then covered it in cheese, more cheese, more cheese then put it in the oven, ruins it and adds sour cream on top thinks its delicious

@aaronbradley8701

3 жыл бұрын

When he goes to a restaurant his main is coleslaw with no veg and 2 heaping spoons a mayo on the side

@aoki6332

3 жыл бұрын

he actually made a macaroni salad whiteout milk and actual legume and if you remove the vinegar

BEANS + MAYONNAISE; the salad of choice for real turbo men

@arintheseatsesh6242

5 жыл бұрын

yeehaw

@gene4438

5 жыл бұрын

It will create some turbo turds for sure 😂

@robotguy88

5 жыл бұрын

@@arintheseatsesh6242 hello brother

@thisguy9733

5 жыл бұрын

Question: is mayonnaise an instrument????

@soop597

5 жыл бұрын

“Sorry mama, is only Boris”

That food look like it was made at a middle school lunch table

"How do you want your burger cooked" "Medium rare...but also raw"

I like the fact that none of his salads have leaves.

@piotrek5s170

2 жыл бұрын

yet all of the salads have at least 4 heaping spoonfulls of mayo

@aztecshaytwitch4224

2 жыл бұрын

@@piotrek5s170 That's a necessity

@iamerror6546

2 жыл бұрын

oregano tho doesnt make it healthy, but..

@Soulraven2735

2 жыл бұрын

I mean, there are many types of salad without greens in them

@stronk9760

2 жыл бұрын

Potato salad

*takes out that one small bean of fat* *adds a tub of mayo* Good to see he's watching his caloric intake.

@jazmynes9474

3 жыл бұрын

Helth

@bleakmoonlight2386

3 жыл бұрын

@@jazmynes9474 halth indeed

@c.f.bellairs1055

3 жыл бұрын

@@CryoMythic ...Are you assuming it's common knowledge that the little nodule in pork and beans cans is the only pork in them? Cuz this is most certainly not a "No shit" moment

@domslitnigga

3 жыл бұрын

@Blake r/mildlyintresting

@domslitnigga

3 жыл бұрын

@@CryoMythic r/therewasanattempt

“Potion of Harming II”

this is literally the concoctions you and your friends would make during lunch in middle school

*mixes literally any combination of random ingredients together* "Now that's a good lookin salad!"

@dark6.6E-34

5 жыл бұрын

you sinned forgot the mayo

@itsbrewsky5519

5 жыл бұрын

@@dark6.6E-34 everybody already mentioned the mayo. I figured I'd mix it up

@dark6.6E-34

5 жыл бұрын

@@itsbrewsky5519 Thee shall not be forgotten

@itsbrewsky5519

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah that's fine

@princesspattycakeswm

5 жыл бұрын

😂🤣

I’m fasting rn and this makes me not want to eat ever again

@Zyclon3000

4 жыл бұрын

ramadan?

@myralyra2404

4 жыл бұрын

same lmao you just don’t feel hungry anymore after watching his “cooking” vids

@treezen522

4 жыл бұрын

Same with me. I don't have any anticipation I used to have whenever Iftar comes after I saw this videi

@LetsCopter

4 жыл бұрын

Day 8 for me and Jack quickly killed my urge for Food

@Louis-gr4cz

4 жыл бұрын

well, if you're fasting its probably best to watch this lol

When people say “living life on the edge”, they don’t mean nearly dying of food poisoning once a week.

The dry way you said 'of course, staples in salad' was hilarious. Of all the reactions to god awful cooking vids, yours are by far the best and funniest.

the chopped up cream cheese was actually frozen mayonnaise

@jhc2457

5 жыл бұрын

And the cool whip was just refrigerated mayonnaise

@andresvega9199

5 жыл бұрын

Disgusting, but my fatass would still eat it.

@kyanlee4688

5 жыл бұрын

Dads Homemade Clam Chowder how did you know

@SilkySmoothDude

5 жыл бұрын

@@kyanlee4688 mayonnaise is the secret ingredient to my dad's homade clam chowder

Spoiler alert: He's actually an immortal god trying to poison himself to death by any means necessary, and failing

@Angel-rr2ow

2 жыл бұрын

Amazing

@cancerwoman7669

2 жыл бұрын

Eat some mayo

@TheShuckleNoob

2 жыл бұрын

It all makes sense now, he's also so benevolent that he's recording his attempts for others in the same situation.

@ammarsalim1185

2 жыл бұрын

F

@coffeboss2

2 жыл бұрын

But you cant say he is not trying the hardest possible

As a brazilian seeing someone put mayonaise on beans makes me want to die. This should be punished with 100 years of jail.

@commitfelonyfeline

Жыл бұрын

"Seeing someone put mayonnaise on beans makes we want to die" Fixed

I've always found Costco size mayonnaise to be ludicrously big but this is the first time I've seen someone who goes through the whole gallon size jar

If he was a doctor he would put 3 heaping scoops of mayo in your iv bag

@theworstmaid

4 жыл бұрын

at least four heaping scoops of mayonnaise

@billgatesaf9542

4 жыл бұрын

Under rated comment

@JohnGannucci

4 жыл бұрын

Perfection

@dealeroffate6904

4 жыл бұрын

If he was an actual doctor, I really think he would add three heaping injections of plasma during your transfusion. (Yes, I have henceforth dubbed plasma the mayonnaise of medicine)

@nyomixoxo

4 жыл бұрын

just letting you know that your comment has 666 likes 👹

Nothing says spanish food like americain cheese and pineapple.

@Reaconteur

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah but this isn’t food this is a hate crime

@kingshadow_5129

3 жыл бұрын

@@Venom_76 but I did

@topherflynn3762

3 жыл бұрын

@@Venom_76 and now you’ve been ratioed, how do you feel?

@TooMuchSascha

3 жыл бұрын

To be fair, that part wasn't the Cinco De Mayo video, it was the Party Cheese Salad video

@Youngboyfan42069

3 жыл бұрын

Dont forget the cool whip

I physically recoiled every time he took out a heaping spoon of mayo

I feel like this guy has a mayonnaise tab at his local grocery store, where during the month he takes mayonnaise and at the end of the month he pays for all of it in one go

"this guy's cooking is pure racism." "against what race?" "ALL OF THEM!"

@quemierdaqueseborre

4 жыл бұрын

human race

@synt7824

4 жыл бұрын

human race

@theonlyrealgina

4 жыл бұрын

human race

@benjamincharlin6770

4 жыл бұрын

Human race

@bigotedbybasting

4 жыл бұрын

human race

“How to make pancakes” *FIRST WE GET THE MAYONNAISE*

@kungflumaster5495

5 жыл бұрын

From my latest victim tied up in a basement Guess you could say he was jacked off

@calebmorris498

5 жыл бұрын

T R A S H C A N then we add a gallon of Gatorade and put it in the microwave for 2 minutes and pour vinegar on it

@infinitedeath4567

5 жыл бұрын

trash gang🖤

@CrxshedRxcks

5 жыл бұрын

Redhot Pheonix 🖤

@8wing73

4 жыл бұрын

Excuse me WHAT THE FUCK

This is me trying to discover potions in Skyrim

Man.. imagine being invited over to this man’s house and preemptively he says it’s going to be “delicious” and you trust him waiting for the traditional standard of “deliciousness” as seen on TV not KZread yet you see this on your plate and eager Jack staring at you waiting for you to take the first bite while it’s still piping hot, and you hesitate for a split second but can’t refuse bc he’s so honest and infectiously sincere. Lol

He's survived two strokes. Can't imagine how they came about.

@thestonedwolf3158

4 жыл бұрын

Seriously?

@michaelkitchin9665

4 жыл бұрын

@@thestonedwolf3158 Yep. Along with multiple bouts of salmonella. The way this man cooks Chicken and meat in general is ... ineffective.

@Wheresmy240

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, it doesn't surprise me at all. I mean, I don't think you're supposed to eat ground beef like that, much less chicken or pork. Lol

@jimmypadilla3441

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaelkitchin9665 surprised he's not immune by now

@TheMarcusNyberg

4 жыл бұрын

@@Wheresmy240 eating rare beef is a thing but with chicken you really need to be careful

As a mexican, the cinco de mayo episode hurt me physically, mentally, and spiritually My man thought Cinco de Mayo meant 5 mayonnaise

@wilsoncardenas6034

4 жыл бұрын

Flying Shovel Mann me too

@wilsoncardenas6034

4 жыл бұрын

My abuela was turning in her grave

@michelletuband

4 жыл бұрын

You still have the bruises?

@Saibellus

4 жыл бұрын

what the fuck is that pineapple cream cheese jello nightmare supposed to be? is that a perversion of a real recipe or some custom nightmare fuel from a man who's only even been to taco bell?

@sameerpradosimmons8277

4 жыл бұрын

Same bro😂

How much mayonnaise do you want to put on your recipes?" Jack: "Yes!"

This man could create a weight gain meal plan entirely out of "salads".

That meat at the end was probably the equivalent of going outside and biting a cow

@realhumanbean7915

4 жыл бұрын

YE With the cow being dipped in mayonnaise beforehand

@haunter6947

4 жыл бұрын

@@realhumanbean7915 and stuffed with butter

@zusiarosenthal4674

4 жыл бұрын

I swear I can still hear those patties mooing

@ye9774

4 жыл бұрын

Zusia Rosenthal 😂

@burnedtoast2883

4 жыл бұрын

@@realhumanbean7915 how does one dip a cow in mayonnaise. I'm actually curious.

this is how every European sees American cuisine, just mayo, oil, and grease

@renidere

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe this is where they got those ideas from...

@AD-ec3sm

4 жыл бұрын

I wonder what kind of American people would ever give them that crazy ass idea.

@janeisklar3923

4 жыл бұрын

@@memelorduwup6537 Europeans and Americans have literally the same race :D. I don't even hate America. But your food is extremely big. Americans are dying from obesity. I mean, if you're American can't you see what I mean?

@memelorduwup6537

4 жыл бұрын

ja ne is klar oh thank you for clearing that up, I didn’t know-

@save.theducks

4 жыл бұрын

ja ne is klar i’d like to point out that the uk is in europe and they also have a large obesity rate. i’m thinking it’s the language not the culture

Ahhh yes the staple of every cinco de mayo.. aunt Myrna’s vomit delight

the stuff 8 year old me and my friends made combining our school lunches couldnt rival this

When he said “mayonnaise cake” I legit said “no” out loud. I am home alone

@sktrpozer9765

4 жыл бұрын

@Aiyaluna Yourke How does it taste? Me and my buddies wanna make it out of curiosity but it sounds like a food the Chinese use to torture prisoners

@jamesbrennan2324

4 жыл бұрын

Lo-fi Teen you’d be surprised it’s low key the secret ingredient in a lot of good cake recipes

@R__Jr

4 жыл бұрын

My granny used to make it. That shit was fuckin 🔥🔥🔥

@eldritchinterface7481

4 жыл бұрын

And then everyone clapped

@KikiTheHobbit

4 жыл бұрын

Lo-fi Teen Mayo is literally just eggs and oil. It’s no different than adding eggs and oil into the better seperately. Mayo’s used in a lot of recipes and you wouldn’t even know!

Never trust salad recipes from a man that size

@northernninety7

5 жыл бұрын

So true

@regret9423

5 жыл бұрын

I like this

@mrsem6670

5 жыл бұрын

Matty Matheson from Munchies would like to have a word with you

@JeanMarceaux

5 жыл бұрын

You know what they say: never trust a skinny chef

@troyeduaneblignaut4934

5 жыл бұрын

that also 'cooks' in the laundry room

Baked beans are the most disgusting food ever to me. I can’t even be in a room where people are earning them without gagging

@jasonotto9126

3 ай бұрын

Same. But eating not earning them 😂

The transition from the mayonnaise cake to the burgers had me horrified for a second

When your mom says "we have food at home"

@luvdie

5 жыл бұрын

This is the best way I've seen this joke used so far

@kosog6584

5 жыл бұрын

#FirstWorldProblems

@lancelotomegaalboin

5 жыл бұрын

my dude.............. facts

@GreenBeastPro

5 жыл бұрын

Nigga fr

My roommate who makes nothing but air-fried frozen food, and microwaves avocados said "weird this guy usually makes good food" I physically recoiled from that statement

@loger_2floofyboogaloo278

3 жыл бұрын

The hell is wrong with ur roommate?

@godofhate4167

3 жыл бұрын

@@loger_2floofyboogaloo278 Hes lazy thats what wrong with him.

@godofhate4167

3 жыл бұрын

@Haderowe Granie yes he also air fries hotdogs.

@image_not_uploaded

3 жыл бұрын

@@godofhate4167 why the fuck would he microwave an avocado in the first place

@tanyaharmon6739

3 жыл бұрын

He is evolving backwards in culinary taste

Whenever I am feeling inadequate as a human being I always come back to this video and It never fails to invigorate me and remind me that things could be worse 😂

Honestly, the macaroni and mayo salad looks pretty good.

His hot sauce is probably just one jalapeno finely chopped with 3 heaping spoons of Mayo.

@onepieceofbbq6357

3 жыл бұрын

don't forget the white vinegar

@thekathal

3 жыл бұрын

@@onepieceofbbq6357 and a litre of grease

@griefercreations9477

3 жыл бұрын

Four caps of white vinegar... 3.5 HEAPING tablespoons of Mayo.. and half a jar of oregano.. move over Gordon Ramsay. Can never have enough seasoning!

@weed1726

3 жыл бұрын

@@thekathal With 2 cups of sugar

@thekathal

3 жыл бұрын

@@weed1726 and some lava for extra spice

This guy is what howtobasic would be if he was actually serious about his cooking.

@EspressoTyme

3 жыл бұрын

Nah HtB makes good food until it calls for anything that has to do with poultry

@conorkilhenny5362

3 жыл бұрын

@fatcat you say that, but have you seen howtobasic's ramen video? He can be a really good cook when he wants to be.

@eddiew2325

3 жыл бұрын

@@conorkilhenny5362 hehe I just found out how to basic is actually Jake Paul

@heckerboy7163

3 жыл бұрын

@@eddiew2325 100% legit

@MononobeNoFuton

3 жыл бұрын

How to basic can actually cook tho, in most of their vids the start looks actually pretty good but half way he destroys it.

This is straight out of The Gallery of Regrettable Food, or any cookbook published before 1980. Mayo in everything for no reason; unidentified pale meats; "salads" with peas and gelatin (and more mayo of course), just fantastically gross.

@bjornzek

Жыл бұрын

this is so true lol

I come back to this video every once in a while and I'm amazed every time.

I feel like this guy made a lot of this shit as a kid and everyone told him his food was good so they wouldn't hurt his feelings

@4duanich

4 жыл бұрын

I think it's the other way around, everyone told him his food was shit and know that he is an adult and no-one can't stop him he is on the loose

@JustUncomon

4 жыл бұрын

Him as a kid: *Scoops up his own shit and adds mayo on it and calls it a chocolate cake* His parent: we're raising a future world star chef...

@pokerface4

4 жыл бұрын

@@JustUncomon Finally some good fucking food.

@3bydacreekside

4 жыл бұрын

That's me

@fattit7598

4 жыл бұрын

@@JustUncomon Fun fact he owns 26 restaurants around the world and has 56 Michelin stars and he's regarded as one of the best chefs in the world. Lucky for us peasants he's offer to share his secret through this youtube channel.

normal people on warm days: "i need a cold drink" jack on a warm day: "i need a cold jar of mayonaise"

@vaporfox115

3 жыл бұрын

And his wife would like some cold cheese.

@vaporfox115

3 жыл бұрын

Duh.

@ItsOnlyFaye

3 жыл бұрын

Friday night dinner :D

@stewie1606

3 жыл бұрын

@@ItsOnlyFaye YESSS finally someone who gets the fucking joke, yess youre a real one such an elite show

@ItsOnlyFaye

3 жыл бұрын

@@stewie1606 *shaloms away into the darkness*

Honestly, this guy should just save his own time and eat sticks of butter that have been dipped in Mayonnaise.

The old penquinz0 😂😂😭😭 this dude was a lot funnier when he was younger