Hello you savages. Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps: 00:00 Do We Think About Trauma Wrong? 03:56 Link Between Trauma & Chronic Stress 07:28 Why Trauma Causes Us to Shield Ourselves 12:41 How to Not Be at the Mercy of Your Feelings 21:34 Does Trauma Make Us More Vulnerable to Future Trauma? 26:48 Tips to Being More Self-Compassionate 33:58 How Trauma Manifests as Illness 38:32 Principles for Treating Trauma 50:49 Opening Up to Other People 1:01:40 What Bessel is Excited About 1:04:38 Bessel’s New Book 1:05:04 Where to Find Bessel

@PenelopeRyder

20 күн бұрын

Chris has his new book been published yet as I have the body keeps score but can not see the new book mentions! Do you have a link to it?

@ChrisCalkins

18 күн бұрын

😊😊

@iambojangles4115

6 күн бұрын

I also can't find any mention of this book anywhere other than from Bessel on this podcast. Is there a release date?

10:55 quote "Trauma robs you of the feeling that you are in charge of yourself. " -BvdK

21:53 Yes the traumatized can be amazing caregivers and patient teachers because they know how badly they needed loving kindness when they were young and being neglected and abused...but...that doesn't erase the negative impact of that trauma. I was always praised for how well I took care of others but was deeply hurting inside..and still am. I don't want to be a martyr anymore making everyone else feel good but myself.

@mindkindmom

20 күн бұрын

same here, after years of being the family caretaker, I want to take care of myself.

@TS-iv9ml

16 күн бұрын

Find someone qualified in EMDR 🫂 you both deserve to fully heal and be loved ❤ you are enough, what you are feeling & experience are Real. It's how to heal and get past that is so needed

@SowingSeedsWithChristy

12 күн бұрын

Your time has come! :)

@rosemisatiofficial5428

5 күн бұрын

I can fully and totally relate.

@Staying_aliveforwomen

3 күн бұрын

Do loving kindness meditation,take long baths w candles,managing my triggers was a game changer in self luv❤gratitude, exercise compassionate fatigue is our breaking point .

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom" - Viktor E. Frankl

@dfinma

21 күн бұрын

This is a nice thought and is true in certain ways. The problems I have with it are it neglects The Human Dilemma*, it celebrates trauma and it lets the perps off the hook. I have heard many examples of people saying they wouldn't change being traumatized b/c it made them who they are. Another nice thought and I have the same problems with it. * The Human Dilemma is we are both susceptible to trauma and very willing to commit it upon others. Modernity creates and amplifies it.

@v9b23j

21 күн бұрын

@@dfinma Thanks for sharing your thoughts. The Trauma Recovery Institute suggests The premise of Trauma Informed Relational Model (TIRM). It involves coming together to address and heal reenacted traumatic or adverse events through conflict and repair within relationships. Conflict and repair are essential psychological, metabolic, and neurological processes, serving as adaptive responses crucial for health. Avoiding this cycle can lead to disease, driven by chronic states of sympathetic or dorsal vagal activation in the nervous system and unresolved cell danger responses. And they say, "the greater the childhood trauma and neglect, the uglier the conflict and reenactment will be". We heal each other within our relationships (instead of numbing our feelings and escaping them with behavioral addictions).

@v9b23j

21 күн бұрын

@@dfinma The Trauma Informed Relational Model (TIRM) by The Trauma Recovery Institute posits that relationships provide a platform for reenacting and healing traumatic experiences through conflict and repair, emphasizing that avoidance of this process can lead to psychological and physiological ailments, with the intensity of conflict often linked to the severity of childhood trauma and neglect.

@pvsk10

20 күн бұрын

I have heard this repeated so many times as a great saying, but at this point is is just overused.

@patriciacole8773

20 күн бұрын

Beautiful

Watching this reminded me of the movie "Good Will Hunting" - especially the scene where Robin Williams says "It's not your fault." over and over until Will Hunting breaks down crying. This scene always gets me. It's not your fault that it happened to you. You're alright. 👍

@ericdraven3654

24 күн бұрын

One of the BEST scenes ever❤

@ancientfuture9690

24 күн бұрын

That's my favourite movie of all time. I first saw it when I was 16 and cried at the "it's not your fault" scene. Beautiful movie.

@TheJimboslav

24 күн бұрын

Imagine this was written by two young guys who just got out of school.

@Theowlhawk

23 күн бұрын

A powerful film, very touched by it, saw it on a plane on way to vanceover Canada 🇨🇦

@grizzleegurr7421

19 күн бұрын

Your statement is very powerful.

Chris! I think this will just break the internet! Mr. Bessel van der Kolk is one of my favorite authors, and a pure heart! A good and deeply empathetic men. His book Body Keeps The Score is life changing! I wished for so long to see him talking with you or on Jordan B. Peterson podcast! Thank you for giving a platform for such an amazing figure he is!

@tagus100

24 күн бұрын

Just will.

@xKarenWalkerx

22 күн бұрын

There is no theoretical framework to any of this. Marcel Proust who he was referencing in the beginning was a lazy, eccentric, gay guy known more for attending brothels than any sort of contribution to psychology. I hope the book makes more of the physiological connection to trauma than what this conversation tried to do.

@YoYo-gt5iq

22 күн бұрын

58k views! Internet is destroyed

@MS-wy4sb

20 күн бұрын

Hahaha. He's a smart guy, but pure heart? Fuck no. He's a bully and pretty toxic. It's well-documented with anecdotes from his former colleagues. Brilliant researcher for sure.

@tihanaharrison6728

18 күн бұрын

I agree, the interview with BvdK and JP toggle would be great!

Shout out to the yoga teachers and martial arts instructors who “really get it” and are embodied practitioners~

@marissiarenee

20 күн бұрын

Do you think dancers also fall into this category?

@lanadahl9072

20 күн бұрын

Dedicated CranioSacral therapists also!!!!

@user-mh3kp7we7i

20 күн бұрын

and teachers/nurses as he mentioned...

@Trenchant468

16 күн бұрын

As someone with a dance background, I can say that classes, in the past at least, are often impersonal, high pressure, even shaming. I had one class where the teacher started and included breath work, and I danced better than ever. When I took certain yoga classes emotions would come to the surface, my fragility would present itself, and also I could get to a place of peace.

I cant believe you have Bessel van der Kolk on your podcast! Big respect to you - you cant elevate any higher than this, Imho. He is such a wonderful man, with so much integrity, on top of his vast knowledge and wisdom. He has done more in the realms of our understanding of trauma than anyone else.

I was a mess for a long time, from childhood til my late 20s. Life dealt me some crazy cards. I did my best to weather it, but I was still an emotional wreck. But my Borderline, PDST, Depression, Anxiety, and Panic Disorder have been almost completely cured over the course of a year by just four things: getting off anti-depressants, eating a whole-food diet, rigorous daily exercise (cardio & weights), and microdosing 150mg of psilocybin twice a week. Completely reset my brain and changed my life entirely. Your videos and interviews have helped tremendously with my perspective shift and educating me on what my body needs and who I could become, Chris. Thank you.

@ancientfuture9690

24 күн бұрын

I too had a load of trauma and PTSD growing up. I managed to heal up, change my life to a fairly satisfactory degree over time with some conscious effort. I am however, interested in microsdosing with psilocybin because I still have a few more subtle things I'd like to clear out. Could you tell me how it helped and what it did exactly?

@LifeGameDesign

24 күн бұрын

Apart from micro dosing what you're saying is that you solved all these problems by living like a human. I think that says alot about the hidden detriments that come with living in modern society. Hope your proud of yourself and remind yourself everyday how far you've come bro 💪

@susanparker9877

21 күн бұрын

With modern communication being so text minded, I find myself at a disadvantage. Even on the phone, one can hear a sigh, or pick up on a long pause, or hear the voice drop in sadness. In person, I can notice the person's posture, attitude, level of agitation or incongruency of words and behavior. Texts leave me baffled.... I say, "please call me, I don't want to text with my friends", but continue to get texts. I find this communication so superficial. There is no context to work with. The body cannot be ignored when we exchange with others.

@katenka_ana3997

12 күн бұрын

I dont know about the drugs. I think they would put me into psychosis again, although I still find them fascinatinh

WOW, that is such an important point that he makes, we should teach children in school of all ages how to cope with their feelings, self regulation of their body n brain n dealing with touch n interactions with other people, etc! The idea of holding weekly classes is BRILLIANT, it would be absolutely world changing 💕🌎⭐️⭐️⭐️

His focus on the body's response to trauma is a vital insight for deeper healing. Integrating self-regulation and self-awareness into educational systems could indeed pave the way for a more resilient and empathetic society 🧠.

@Adam-rf5xp

13 күн бұрын

bot response

Earlier today I was watching a Donald Kalsched on Trauma and somebody in the audience shocked others by stating this: "There seems to be this idea that in order for me to get better I have to be responsible for my own pain and I think that I don't have to be responsible for my wounding to be responsible for my getting well."

@DrPhilGoode

24 күн бұрын

Yep. If you don’t do anything about getting yourself better, you will ultimately pass that on to the next generation.

@glenimoore1232

20 күн бұрын

Taking responsibility for own pain or not the same as taking responsibility for own wounding though. Not at all.

@DrPhilGoode

4 күн бұрын

@@glenimoore1232 you shouldn’t take responsibility for either one. The responsibility lies in giving the next generation the most healed version of ourselves possible. Healing requires understanding about why we have those painful wounds.

One of the best books ever written.

My jaw LITERALLY dropped open when I opened KZread and seen this!!! Chris - THANK YOU!!

@irena8226

24 күн бұрын

saw not seen

@liam.4454

23 күн бұрын

Capital I in 'irena' please.

@fitprotunes

21 күн бұрын

​@@liam.4454Comma before 'please', please

Teaching self regulation in school would be so great. ❤

I loved Bessel's book. Figuring out what allows us to feel safe is tricky and can lead to grasping and aversion which is not helpful. I found that learning and building the skill of self trust (trust in our skills, trust we can learn new skills and trust that we can apply our skills as needed) is a healthy way of developing safety. As we build self-trust (psychologists call this self-efficacy) our fears naturally subsite. We cannot push our fears away to gain the feeling of safety but we can do exercises to build self-trust.

9:30 types of trauma... CPTSD- the child that was chronically ignored and dismissed by caregiver.

@DianaHernandez-ok1mz

20 күн бұрын

At 40 yrs old I lost my memory and could not find my way out of a 5 stall bathroom..😅I can make jokes ,but mostly I cried daily ...it was childhood trauma...I never knew I was traumatized...I kept connecting to relationships that continued the cycle..Now many years later, grieving the lost years..And thankful to be alive so maybe I can actually finish well.

@ritevibe

20 күн бұрын

@@DianaHernandez-ok1mz my heart goes out to you... you are slowly on your healing journey and path, go easy... your soul is beautiful and you are understood and loved by more people than you think. I understand about repeating cycles, the grieving of lost years etc... thank you for sharing your story...God bless you 💝

@SundanceKit

3 күн бұрын

⁠❤️‍🩹🙏Thank you for sharing your story. Sending Positive Vibes, loving, your way .

I have traumas, not trauma. I've lost all my life opportunities, potential, childhood and youth to traumas and the self-destruction coming from them. Most nights I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how I lost the best years of my life that will never come back and it gives me this urge to scream or elbow my pillow which sometimes I do. I always have a problem staying in touch with reality. Part of it is because I haven't slept enough the night before and another part is because I hate my reality. The only thing I really care about is revenge. I don't want a supersport car or a mega-mansion, I wanna be physically fit and healthy, I want a good night's sleep, I want energy and I want revenge. I'm willing to sacrifice many things to achieve my goals and I do but every once in a while I relapse and get on that self-destructive path again. The problem is that most of the time I know I'm about to do the wrong thing and waste my time and traumatize myself even more, but I do it anyway. It feels like I've been stuck in a loop all my life. I don't know if this makes me sound like an idiot but sometimes while I am lying down in the bed I hold my hand up hoping someone grabs it; maybe God, maybe another version of me from a parallel universe or maybe my childhood self. Speaking of my childhood self, sometimes I fantasize about hugging the little man, which I can't do too much without tearing up. Every time I listen to Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd it reminds me of him as if we're simultaneously living in the past and future "… How I wish, how I wish you were here We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl Year after year Running over the same old ground, what have we found? The same old fears, wish you were here" I really wish he was here so I could hug him and tell him how sorry I am that I couldn't protect him. I don't know where and when we got separated, but I hope one day down the road we meet again.

@gorkyd7912

24 күн бұрын

Revenge motivated by envy for what others had that you were denied seems like a waste of what you still have that many others do not. But revenge motivated by justice, that's different.

@ItaHayes

23 күн бұрын

No justice belongs to God. You are called to forgive, so that YOU can heal.

@nicolegallagher1001

22 күн бұрын

Surrender the revenge and forgive so you can be free to move on. You’ll feel free, lose a load of weight holding you down and you’ll be able to think clearly without those stress hormones poisoning your mind.

@catland1566

21 күн бұрын

My heart breaks for you… my brother was a vet with profound PTSD… he exhibited the same self destructive behaviors😭. It took years for him to heal to where he liked himself again. This is going to sound trite and will probably send your rage meter soaring… after you calm down…work on self forgiveness…then when you have faced that demon that blames you for everything…. Then start learning and practicing self love… and NEVER GIVE UP! 🙋🏼‍♀️🙏

@bobakbobak2588

20 күн бұрын

@@catland1566 I appreciate that.

I healed my sexual trauma and the first book to open my eyes to this was “crystal healing + sacred pleasure”. Which lead me to the body keeps the score. The Mindy body connection and somatic healing is what makes sense. I totally understand what you’re saying about being the aware person who is able to be that person for others who are hurting and needing compassion and empathy. 🌻

@danieltenorio3559

21 күн бұрын

What’s a good summary like what are the main points

Dr Van der Kolk wrote one of the best books I'd ever read. Much respect, Chris!

I have a common refrain when addressing complaints I hear from people about their physical maladies; "The human body was designed to move. If you're not moving, you're not doing it right." At least part of this conversation seems to suggest that my view is applicable to mental health, too. :)

What an excellent guest to have on! One of the most important people on planet earth on healing trauma! Thank you! The Body Keeps the Score should be read by everyone!

I became a CNA in 2003 after doing a bit of soul searching. I realized looking back through my lifes , actions, the people, places, and experiences, that I was born to be of service to others. When my oldest daughter was in junior high she's now 34, told me that I'm a "do gooder" and that I'm that way to make me feel good about myself. I know for a fact that the abuse, neglect and abandonment I experienced is nothing compared to many others' experiences. I am not the sum total of my past experiences. I'm an evolving human with awesome potential.

His book _The Body Keeps the Score_ is a life-saver!! Especially if, in addition to all else, you went through war & extreme political instability, being trapped in a place you couldn't escape from, and can't ever feel safe again, anywhere. ❤ I stopped feeling stupid for & ashamed of things that happened to me & of my reactions to certain events. This helps me not only be more grounded myself, but also be more compassionate towards others who may harshly react against me or to something I've said or done, because I can detect their trauma & how scared they must be, and I try give grace to people.

My mother. Zero supportive social reception. I remember once she asked me "what did you do" when I told her my school friend wasn't talking to me. Imagine how this lack of social support from your own mother screws you up.

@Artistic_99

16 күн бұрын

Yes, i feel your pain

Came from a loving family where the trauma of my Dad turned me into a very compassionate and inquisitive person. This left me open to predators. Male predators were easier to identify and deal with . It took me many years to see how the other side works and why.

15 minutes in and im hooked. What an amazing guest. I wish every therapist/counselor had to watch his teaching. We'd all be better off ❤

This guys book was a gem. Thank you for this interview.

Huge interview! This is the most important trauma expert and pioneer in the world. Thanks/congrats on having him on.

I totally attribute Rolfing being the intergal bodywork that helped me with my trauma. Luckily, I found a Rolfer that also has an osteopathy degree.

I spent more than a decade minimizing and not even knowing I had been severely traumatized, just because it fell in a different "category" of trauma than the common, typical abuse from parents. I thought I have nice loving parents so the thing I went through doesn't count as "trauma". It took around 4 therapists confirming to me the degree of extremity of the event to realize and begin acknowledging... totally relate with the minimization.

One of my deepest lessons was: Don't expect anyone to be anything. Expectations of others was a long-term source of depression and frustration until I finally realized/solved that curse.

Truly, thank you for this episode. I think it will help bring a greater awareness of what psychological trauma is and how it impacts the person as a whole. It can be challenging to articulate the effects of trauma to family and friends in a way that they can understand. I highly recommend sharing this episode with friends, family, and especially your partner so they can better understand where you're coming from.

57:42 I recently got out of an inpatient 10 week trauma/addiction program. This man's book was one of the most promoted and discussed pieces of work that we accessed. Though this convo doesn't actually hit on a lot of what actual trauma patients take (or maybe just chat about) from his work. He actually does hit the points but the book levels it. He's obviously a better writer than he is a talker. Which is ok. ❤ Thank you, Chris. You couldn't have handled this better ❤😢

@catinthehat1486

21 күн бұрын

I agree not making a lot of sense to me with his unpacking of the narrative. I think Chris might be struggling with that as well?

@user-uw2qr1mw8e

21 күн бұрын

English is not his first language. He expresses himself amazingly well.

So excited to see this man. I have other books about this: The body speaks its mind. The body never lies. I do bodywork professionally. I see this everyday. It’s so important.

Some toxic parents (like mine) were victims, themselves, of toxic parents. Toxic people tend to isolate from the rest of society, as non-toxic people would find their behavior and lifestyle EXTREMELY peculiar (and most likely some sort of investigation would ensue). My parents were actively trying to do the right thing by us. My siblings and I had vastly superior childhood to theirs, specifically because of a concentrated effort on their part to do better than their parents did. They just literally didn't know how to act right, and now are filled with regret to see their children struggling with trauma that they themselves inadvertently caused. 🤥 I pity them.

Chris you became my favorite podcaster, Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk.. is helpful to healing my brokenness, grieving the loss of my Mom, she was My Mom friend business partner then kind & generous. My Mom was always on my side, have massive gratitude I spent quality time with her, so artistic, so creative productive. She said " when I am gone you are going to miss me." wow true.

Finished reading The Body Keeps the Score a couple days ago, awesome timing!

Creating more liminal space actively (practice, practice) between an event and a response will eventually lead to control over response, which will lead to a greater focus on reactions and changing them. Entertaining the idea that although we may not be able to create more bandwidth, we might be able to plasticize it like a balloon, and that will also give us more capacity. My reactions to some of my worst triggers have gone, and so, my response is different. Think of epigenetics. Over the last couple of decades I have changed my genetic expression. That's empowering. It's painful, time and thought consuming and maybe some people don't have the fundamentals to even grasp changing how they think, (if I'm color blind it's pointless to demand I see the color red) but it's also a great blessing; an honor. This work has given me a purpose for my challenging past and also sanded off the jagged edges. The challenge for those of us who do it, is to move from the head of book smarts and chatter, to the heart. Live in the flow.

From the exceptional interviews about trauma!!! relevant, concrete, important and subtle questions... and the Máster VD Kolk on trauma always really lucid, humble and illuminating. Thank you!!! 👍

Love that work like this, Dispenza and Sarno is going more mainstream. I’ve self-healed CRPS, allergies, osteoarthritis and Reynaud’s by tapping into my unconscious and the buried issues that were resulting in these physical manifestations

Thank you Chris, Bessel Van Der Kolk is a great therapist and author, a lovely healing presence. Thank you x

Thank you so much for bringing him on your podcast Chris 👏

His book was the beginning of my trauma healing journey

As someone who is experiencing psychogenic seizures as a result of trauma, I needed to hear this. I wish he would speak on psychogenic nonepileptic seizures specifically though.

I gave dr. Van der kolk's book to my ex and she ridiculed it. I found it very insightful and saw the how it could truly help other people but i guess it is easier for some people to make fun of others efforts

@Openhearted2024

20 күн бұрын

Sad that your ex didn’t have curiosity and enquire what you valued in that book. Probably why she is an ex.

@BrofUJu

20 күн бұрын

Be thankful they're an ex. That's a person who has so much shame that they're shutting off trying to improve things.

I have a post-it note on the mirror that says: There are parts of your own brain that are not your friend. Digging deep into understanding the committee in your head is the direction to finding your own psychological freedom.

I was traveling through Canada and came back to the US and discovered I loved the craziness of the US. It's crass, wrong-headed a lot of the time, and disorderly, but boy is it creative. As much as the conservatives complain about the public schools and universities, there have been two centuries of innovation because of them. Maybe the trauma I experienced made for better art. Thanks for this. He was a therapist for an old girlfriend and she did well after her work with him and got her life together.

Wow. Amazing guest....you are slaying it right now Chris. Thank you x

one thing ive noticed living with my ex over the years that has extreme trauma from her life before me, you cant do the work for them. she would always say, "im passed all of that" but i would notice so many things that would tap into her past trauma. alcohol would really pull it out of her in a way i felt i couldnt be around her. she would use it to cope with it all but hide the fact she was abusing it. over time i found bottles and cans hidden places and eventually got tired of dealing with it. it was affecting everything she did on a daily basis whether it was handing her money to just doing daily chores. she would get very emotional if i even brought up that she needed help with it. saw a therapist but she would withold things from the therapist which would cause more harm. to me the only way to get passed trauma, you really have to tackle it and other people cant do that for you.

Amazing!!!! This made my day! I referenced this brilliant man’s findings in my dissertation. Thank you Dr. Van Der Kolk

Wow! It's over already. I truly enjoyed this one! Thank you Chris and Bessel for this amazing conversation 👏🏻 like to hear more please and thank you 🙌🏻🫶🏻✌🏻

Thank you for giving BvdK a voice on your platform, the whole world needs to hear his message.

So happy to see him on your Podcast His book changed my life in 2020... trauma healing is quite the journey. Pete Walker would be another great guest.

I read his book The Body Keeps the Score, it was truly awesome and relatable. I loved this interview, because your questions really opened up a lot of his experiences and knowledge. It was great to be able to listen and learn from this! Thank you ❤

recently diagnosed with c-PTSD, I'm 43 and had a load of childhood (5 yrs old at the time) memories come back of my dad going through cancer treatment. Took 25 years of feeling terrible to get a diagnosis, would never have got there if it wasn't for this guy and his book - would still be thinking I was a lazy, moaning git.

A step in the right direction. Looking forward to seeing how this interview travels and meanders.

Thanks Chris! Another ball hit out of the park!! Keep 'em coming!!❤

YES! Now link these lessons to your recurrent back pain Chris… it’s not because of your discs. Disc degeneration and even herniating are very normal in people without any pain. Please keep exploring these ideas. I would also recommend reading some John Sarno books. I say this as a physical therapist who specializes in chronic pain.

@joeyfaoro6308

24 күн бұрын

Really?? I also have some scoliosis and lumbar disc herniation. Any other tips for me? (I just started this episode and was unfamiliar with Chris’s disc issues also)

@x_Artius_x

23 күн бұрын

@@joeyfaoro6308many people without pain have herniations. It’s a normal part of aging. Just search “disc degeneration in asymptomatic patients” and you’ll find tons of articles about the prevalence. Since it appears in people without pain, we can’t attribute discs as a cause of pain. The same is true for scoliosis. Instead look at your life stressors and how they influence your pain experiences. I often have patients who come to me with back pain blaming their discs and spine when in reality they are under immense stress and the mental imagine of “carrying” the burden of divorce, bad job, etc.. has led to back pain.

His book changed my life. Thank you, Bessel! ❤

Thank you for this episode. I really enjoyed it.

I agree, frozen. Frozen in a higher stress point. Ability of the body to release or relax beyond a limited point Social reseption makes a huge difference - why AA works

27:45 MDMA TREATMENT THERAPY psychedelics used to increase self compassion. Self criticism is extremely difficult to treat

It’s a super intricate field! I’m having a traumatic experience with my girl now, based on things that happened in childhood, around abandonment from my mother. And when I see something in the environment that looks like she is looking elsewhere, and mixed with lack of touch… my mind starts creating worst case scenario… The vulnerability in being able to be honest and vulnerable with Another / partner. Perhaps these bonds of trust can be brought back stronger. But touch is a key component.

I have a fibromyalgia diagnosis in the last year but has been with me most of my life. I feel this is a response to my life's events. When I can regulate, the symptoms reduce.

@theotherdanielbrown

20 күн бұрын

Check out the work of Dr Sarno and Steve Ozanich for permanent self healing

Wow ! You just said it about the nurses giving what they didn’t have in childhood but often can’t receive it for themselves..

Bessell Van der Kolk is AMAZING! I read his book and just ripped thru it! It was written for the layman and it’s got so many great suggestions to get you through rough times. I absolutely recommend to anyone, even if you don’t have any issues, it will give you tools when they eventually do show up in your life. ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read the book, but hearing Dr. Van der Kolk casually drop profound nuggets of wisdom in conversation is a whole new thing. I feel like that woman in the Bible who says, "He told me my whole life!" Maybe our lives are all pretty similar.

@Charity-vm4bt

20 күн бұрын

Kate, If you refer to females being abused in worldwide patriarchy, this refers to collective trauma as described by others in the field.

4:47 we are social creatures... our behavior navigating our untreated trauma jeopardizes our relationships... our social connections break down.😞

I’m new to what trauma does to the nervous system, and I have known about this man and his book. Time to get the book! I’m also new to this channel and a new subscriber! HOW could I have missed this channel?! My adult son is in desperate need of this content, and he’s had debilitating headaches for years, but more intensely after mold, Lyme, and Covid. He’s suicidal because of the pain, but he’s also an addict, so no one will prescribe him pain meds. Ketamine nasals didn’t help. Way more to this, but I’ll leave it at that.

@SisterOfTheFireflies181

15 күн бұрын

@Tinyteacher1111 Have you heard of Joe Dispenza? Chris did an interview with him that you should check out. Then read his books Breaking the Habit of Being Yoursef and You Are the Placebo. Joe is a neuroscientist that is changing the medical establishment with his clinical studies of the brain. His books are life changing. Your son deserves to enjoy a happy and healthy life--I wish him the best!!

Therapist here! I love his work , and I am a body therapist, so I get what he means!

I want to thank you for giving me permission to specifically state the totally ridiculous nature of power being attributed to me. I am an individual with strong opinions, sensitive to human suffering, but unwilling to believe what responsibility might be being placed upon me by those who see me as being different.

Wow😮 feel what you feel ✋. Just what I'm doing most of the times I told I'm feeling good chef, I'm feeling good mom etc etc 😊. We need more conscious society 👍

thanks Chris, ty prof. this one was great

Amazing guest and Chris is a great interviewer..you asked so many qs I would have wanted answered

Incredible Bessel! The senses! That’s the key!!!

Thank you for covering this

Chris, you are doing great. Keep it up!

There’s a system of guided introspection, developed by a lady called,Brandon Bays, that would prepare children for life if schools had it in place. It has been used in some schools around the world. I came across it as a teacher. The Principal of my school was a very enlightened man. There’s an adult version also. The books are: The Journey and The Journey for Kids. I highly recommend it. I’ve seen wonderful results and I feel it’s the best therapy I have ever come across. It consists of many healing and coping methods that this doctor is talking about, put together in a wonderful easy way.

comment for the algorithm. keep up the good work Chris.

Thank you Chris! I'm reading this book atm. Look forward to your visit to 🇦🇺

Therapy is so fantastic. It helps you to change. Normal is just a setting in your dryer. I recall and Friend telling me “You always have a Choice” I had No idea What That meant! I really didn’t! But now I know.

Trauma Healing cannot be understood. It can just be EXPERIENCED. The experience happens in your body and you need a well experienced Co-Regulator, providing his presence of kindness and safety, reminding you of your tools to come back to safety.

VERY good conversation! Thanks!

Greatest guest yet

On the surface, understanding how trauma works can seem disempowering. Until u realize how much power is available to the individual who chooses in to consciously addressing their trauma & learning to RESPOND to what comes up for them(rather than reacting). THAT is an empowered state of being to experience. And facilitates/fuels further growth & willingness to deal with painful work to step into further empowerment

Thanks ❤ always grateful for your channel

I REALLY want to know the results of the doctor's study on touch!

This whole thing of ‘I don’t want to spend time with my family at Christmas until I have spoken to my brother about what really happened in our childhood etc’ is very unrealistic. The truth is there is NO closure with those who wronged us in the past. They will never see things from our perspective and very rarely feel any real remorse. And often it will just re traumatise the victim as the perpetrator will often either be narcissistic or lack self awareness and will gaslight them. And probably the family will close ranks even further as the victim was probably the family scapegoat anyway. Even if they did say all the right things, I think the victim still will rarely feel better, although the perpetrator may have a clear conscience and feel absolved of wrongdoing. Meanwhile the damage done to the victim has still been done and has still likely taken a huge toll on their life through maladaptive coping behaviours, addictions etc. The only way forward is to either decide to avoid the people who did the damage and if that isn’t possible its to go ‘grey rock’ with them and reduce all emotional connection as far as possible, and to put more energy and focus into improving their own situation and well being in life. We can only work on not self abandonment and that’s it. Forget this reconciling with others. As for all the attempts to calm down the limbic system and stop the chronic fight flight stress response, I guess there are a million of those strategies but what works for one may not work with another. Physical human touch is not always possible or desirable for some people.

@Charity-vm4bt

20 күн бұрын

Stellar, well said.

@Sindiya

19 күн бұрын

Very well said. Thank you.

@joandempsey4652

Күн бұрын

I advise doing Journey work, a therapy developed by Brandon Bays. It’s a guided introspection aiming to come to understanding, forgiveness and freedom. In this case the person would find absolute comfort, kindness and compassion around his family at Christmas after a few sessions with a Journey therapist. You might find one in your area if you look it up. Otherwise read the book and do the therapy on yourself in a meditative state.

Interesting that psychedelics and mdma helped people have better self compassion.

Bessel is great! The questions aren‘t

Thank you for being a groundbreaker. Pls do consider to produce a podcast to bring awareness around the difficult topic of parental narcissist abuse. How to identify both the abuser and abused with intention to identify, intervene and support both. Truly this is critical to moving the mark on generational trauma. And the gross demand on medical systems already struggling. I can provide 30 years of substantiating medical materials in support of positive change. +Δ

Honestly as tremendous as psychedelics were for me, QEEG neurofeedback was the sea change. I'm surprised Bessel didn't bring it up more

I am a ROLFER. This modality is amazing.

Thank You and Finally.

Never clicked a video so fast 27:41

Many similarities to the work of Vivian and Arthur Janov, the founders of Primal Therapy. However, Van der Kolk, like others such as Peter Levine, favour a less aggressive approach to alleviating the effects of traumatic experiences. That is, by using certain techniques which help to enable repressed thoughts and emotions to rise to the surface. I like how he talks about how many different circumstances can be traumatic. Essentially, we go through something which turns out to be more than we can handle and we repress some or part of the experience. Allowing those emotions to rise to the surface and having expression can have a profound effect on our overall state of being. For example, it can ease a deep sense of shame which had affected our perception of our self, and how we perceive that others regard us. While such feelings remain repressed, we remain unaware of the power and influence they have on us. For example, they can be a source of tension and anxiety, low self-esteem, social phobias, eating habits, so called irrational fears, distrust of other people, and more

@Charity-vm4bt

20 күн бұрын

Mr face space, yes, today's methods do not seek to elicit "primal" responses in the same way. Peter Levine and Stephen Porges are good colleagues of Dr. VD Kolk to study.

Get Stephen Porges on the podcast! His poly vegal theory is referenced in body keeps the score.

I have trauma from all the adverts that keep coming up and as for ‘you really need to look inside yourself, you need to really know yourself’ I think I’ve developed a twitch when I hear these words!

Awesome. Very much in line with the teachings of Eugene Gendlin and John Prendergast for instance.