I’ve been sober for 4 1/2 months I started feeling better by the 8th/9th week but now it’s starting to get tough My sleep patterns are off again. Nightmares are back Maybe it’s the holidays idk but it’s been really rough this month I’m trying new things, developed new routines and habits, including hiking and exercising and I’m working a program and have a sponsor It’s a long road to recovery

Yes! It’s hard to trust again after so much bs I’ve been put through. Still being blamed for certain consequences and it’s hard not to react. But at this point I’m just glad he’s sticking with it. No more fighting and all is calm. But long term health issues is causing a ripple effect on me. Both emotionally & financially. I’m still waiting to have my husband back. 2 months sober is a drop in the bucket in unwinding all the damage that was done for so long.

You look so young...for so much wisdom...thanks for sharing...you are so right....35 days sober here...🙏🙏🙏

@PutTheShovelDown

2 ай бұрын

Awww thanks, and congrats on your sobriety! That first month is the hardest

I love your videos Amber. So much kindness always coming from you. I'll share some of my own experiences in early sobriety (alcohol). I'll be 15 years sober this September. 1) I chose AA to help me stop drinking. While not a perfect system...it gave me a place to go where others could relate, I would go to meetings every day for the first month so I could get support if needed as well to break my pattern. I had a place to focus on recovery rather than running back to my drinking pattern. 2) Focus on Recovery only at first. It took me time to deal with the anxiety I felt stopping drinking, I was mourning the escape, excitement, social drama, and high feelings I had with alcohol. I tried to keep focus on the harm it was doing me and how I didn't want that to continue. I also had to be kind to myself about the failure feeling I had about not being able to stop on my own, accepting the title 'alcoholic' for myself and being OK with that in order to help myself, (you can't change what you don't acknowledge) and shifting the focus to being proud of myself for wanting to be healthy and doing something about it. 3) I started another relationship too soon in recovery. Although I was sober close to a year... I had a lot more work to do to get healthy emotionally as well keep sobriety rather than think about a new relationship. I felt very emotionally fragile in early sobriety. 4) I realized it is a lifelong commitment and it takes time and many ups and downs to understand all the factors that tied to the addiction. ie: childhood trauma, brain chemistry, difficulty identifying healthy relationships and what they even look like, lack of courage or self esteem (alcohol gave an exciting false courage). I do think the 'one day at a time' focus is a good one so as not to worry ahead or become overwhelmed. 5) changing patterns of time use. I tried to change my focus so all the time I had wasted drinking and all the crazy things that went along with it...I'd instead focus on other things I loved...creative stuff, exercise, joining healthy activities or groups, learning something new, nature walks, people watching in a nearby park. I did this along with still going to AA. I was worried about AA becoming another addiction in itself as it had with my own father. That was all he ever talked about or did. There can still be balance with other healthy things. 6) Taking care of my nutrition. When I drank I would delay eating in order to keep the high from alcohol or sometimes not eat at all...or alternatively overeat unhealthy things. Between that and all of the harm alcohol itself does to the body... I needed to really keep focus on getting healthy nutritionally. I also had massive sugar cravings after stopping drinking. I tried to plan ahead healthy meals that were high in nutrients as well drinking lots of water. I also took vitamins to help my body get healthier. 7) keep focus on my own recovery. I found myself wanting to fix everyone else I knew that had addictions... but that just kept me from focusing on my own recovery. I needed to let others do their own path and just worry about my own. I had never married or had children...so I didn't have some of those challenges. I did have challenges being an adult child from an alcoholic, dysfunctional family that had generational issues. Poor relationship role models, patterns of addiction, codependency and poor communication crossing generations and extended family all tied in. I think Kindness to ones self and to others is what I value most now as well learning from it all and recognizing that some of the bigger family patterns will likely never be 'fixed' but can be understood better and I can set healthier boundaries as well keep focus on being ones best healthy self and sharing experiences that might help others..

I can not say enough times how much I appreciate these videos, Amber!!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Awwww, thanks Rene 💖💖

Thank you for this so much! My husband has been sober from alcohol for 35 days or so... he is in AA and outpatient treatment. I'm going to Al-Anon but it's soooo hard right now. Al-Anon helps me so much with thinking of some of these issues in diffferent ways. I hope we can work through it together. Thanks again!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

I 💖💖your profile name!

Thank you, Amber, for your expertise and insight. You are helping so many people.

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Happy to help!

Thank you for this podcast.....it really helped to realize that family members want to speed up things and things to be back or the way as prior to addiction....

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

This makes so much sense! Thank you very much pretty lady!💕

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Awwwww, thank you, Sherri 💖💖😁😁

Thank you for your work.

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your kindness and support, Libery Cave!

Thank you for the practical advice🌟

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Any time!

This is very helpful! Thank you!

@PutTheShovelDown

7 ай бұрын

You're welcome!

Shakespeare wrote: "Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care, sore labor's bath, balm of hurt minds", Amber said: "Sleep is what fills up your willpower fuel tank." You're a wise, beautiful 😇, Amber!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

This really made me laugh. Thinking of how elegantly Shakespeare said it compared to the way I said it. LOL! 😅🤣😂 Classic!!!

@margoquintana2283

Жыл бұрын

Great quote from William S. So apropos of sleep issues in early recovery. We need to remind ourselves it's called "recovery" for a reason. And not only for the addicted loved one. The family is in recovery too. Get your good sleep ZzZZZzzz everybody!! It will help keep all our interactions more stable!❤❤❤

Awesome video!!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Thanks!

@PutTheShovelDown

Жыл бұрын

Love the profile pic! 🤠

@debbyallen1234

Жыл бұрын

Thanks

Thank you. This is helping me to chill out a little 😋

@PutTheShovelDown

11 ай бұрын

I'm so glad!

Another concern is my husband tried to apologize Hearing him admit yo hurting me breaks me into tears. He says please don't cry it hurts him to see me hurting. I am so scared her will relapse because he now can see how much he had hurt me. Idk how to deal with this

You can also listen on Apple, Google, and Spotify podcast 👉🏻👉🏻

Do u have any advice when a spouse get sober in jail. How and where to begin when spouse is released

Thank you 🕊🙏🏼I am trying to have better connection with my daughter, still waiting to trust me more . I want to be stronger for her. Any suggestions on how to get to ask her if she needs more from me? Very little patience from her.🕊

@PutTheShovelDown

8 ай бұрын

Instead of saying something like "is there anything I can do to help?". Give a multiple choice or an option. ie: "Would it be helpf if I did __________________ ?

Is Suboxone good for trying to get clean and sober? Or is it just another drug to get addicted to?😊

@jessicajasmin8282

Ай бұрын

Great question, I’d like to know the same thing.

Amber, sometimes your videos really assume a family dynamic that does not exist. For example, you really ignore the situation where the person struggling with alcohol or substances has been the caretaker for an otherwise entitled and selfish family. It is not up to the substance user to give the family an apology or anything of the sort in this situation. It is up to the selfish FAMILY to recognize what they have been taking from the caretaker who uses substance to DEAL with the family. Sorry, but your limited perspective really hurts some people and families when you don’t acknowledge dynamics other than the “typical” one that you have in your head.

@Graceandres3

3 ай бұрын

I would think the situation you describe is extremely rare.

What is the best ways to handle withdrawals from narcotics?😊❤️‍🩹🙏💐🌷