The Real Reasons You Can't Stop Worrying

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All behaviour is purposeful - and when we don’t do anything to intervene when we start to worry, we are choosing to continue worrying. But we don't get stuck or paralyzed by worry because there's something wrong with you, it's because on a subconscious level, staying in a pattern of worry serves a few purposes. Here I teach what these purposes are, and how developing this awareness and insight is the first step to breaking the worry cycle.
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Пікірлер: 79

  • @lauragadille3384
    @lauragadille3384 Жыл бұрын

    I worry 24/7 365 days. It's hard to break this cycle.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    it is. Next weeks talk is going to help though. Keep watch for that one.

  • @28troman
    @28troman9 ай бұрын

    That’s me , and my worrying is driving me nuts

  • @NativeIntelligenceCheckMyDJmix
    @NativeIntelligenceCheckMyDJmix Жыл бұрын

    As an artist I immediately have to compliment the black and white gradient you set the video on, it's contrasts are wildly perfect. If only could set my brain to the perfect gradient. It's not impossible. I'm working on it through meditation and shifting my thoughts toward helping others when the worrying waves come crashing in with the herd of elephants. Glad to know it's an instinct. Being sober for a couple years now has shown me I have a long road ahead of "brain retrain". For now, in my journey to transform my thinking, I'm cutting myself some slack while making progress. Thanks for always confirming the knowledge and positivity necessary for change. great video.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Thanks for your kind words - they mean a lot. And yes! Little steps everyday, and a whole ton of self-compassion along the way. That's my motto - you can have it if you want ;-)

  • @stevecatanio8532

    @stevecatanio8532

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@juliakristinamah hey I like are too. Lol. It's ok. I don't have to horde the comments.

  • @jamesmurphy3219
    @jamesmurphy3219 Жыл бұрын

    Managing worry requires a lot of work and brain retraining. But to first notice and be aware of it when it's happening is the first big step, like you say. How important is it to cultivate self awareness? Huge!! This has literally been the most important step taken in my healing journey. Being aware of what is going on internally creates space. That little bit of space creates the option to choose a different path. Thank you.

  • @chrisdigitalartist
    @chrisdigitalartist Жыл бұрын

    Hi Julia! Senior Shifter here! The Real Reasons You Can't Stop Worrying I do tend to worry a lot. I worry about aging parents, my own safety and security...especially since crime and violence has become more often in the US. My brain will want to tell me “As long as I stay in my house or at least around my community - or if I go out in nature up in the mountains, then I will be safe. I want to avoid larger crowded areas. That can be more dangerous” That is my brain trying to protect me. However, I can’t always avoid crowds, I will eventually need to go to a store, and I do. However, I do have those thoughts while I am there. The “What if scenarios...” and like you said, after I have anticipated dangerous things that can happen, I may feel like I had some sort of “upper hand” of the situation. Here are my notes: *You can worry about not being able to stop worrying. *You are not a broken, flawed or weird human being for worrying. *For intents and purposes, all reasons for worrying are good reasons. All behavior is purposeful. *Worrying are thoughts, and thoughts coming in continuedly is a behavior. (Ruminating, obsessives…etc…) Why you worry: *Your brain is trying help you (Move us towards pleasure and away from pain) *If there is oncoming danger and threat, it can help us prepare. *A lot of things aren't actual threats, but our brains want to keep us safe. It may attempt to keep us from dying, but it actually keeps us from living. *If we think or anticipate all the bad things happening, and it doesn't it feels like we have won. *We feel these superficial feelings in order to avoid the bigger and deeper feelings that can be more uncomfortable. *If we accept, we have no real control over anything, then we can pay more attention to what is happening now. (Love, belonging, connection, success, joy…etc..) *Worry is a learned behavior (It could have come from our parents - either taught or observed) What to do when you worry: *Notice: Notice what kind of worrying you have been doing. Insight. ("What am I worrying about?" "What's coming up for me?" "What *am I thinking of.") *Journal: You can journal or at least write down any thoughts coming up for you., *Mindfulness: Be aware of what you are doing or thinking and being present. It can be done though meditation and/or prayer.

  • @ericsigler8457
    @ericsigler8457 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you! Worry is about control and when you have an awareness about it, you will retrain yourself to let go!

  • @CurtM555
    @CurtM555 Жыл бұрын

    Really helpful video for a major worrier! Thank-you!

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 Жыл бұрын

    Julia your videos are helping us so much! Thank you. 😊

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 Жыл бұрын

    Great perspective!

  • @stevecatanio8532
    @stevecatanio8532 Жыл бұрын

    Julia I've been watching you for five years. I've known my friend for ten. I'm just now learning in my life to risk caring for someone else and not being afraid to be hurt. You're a large part to thank. Thank you.

  • @joannepigliavento7930
    @joannepigliavento7930 Жыл бұрын

    Brilliant episode!! Thank you Julia!

  • @jaylaw.7660
    @jaylaw.7660 Жыл бұрын

    Your videos always provide true value. Thank you.

  • @jaylaw.7660
    @jaylaw.7660 Жыл бұрын

    You’re so right, Julia.

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 Жыл бұрын

    Excellent video! I love the 10 minute exercise. 😊

  • @Marekcatholic
    @Marekcatholic Жыл бұрын

    Great video for those who worry! 4 reasons for why we worry are great too. Thanks Julia!

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Really glad this connected Marek.

  • @EmbraceTheStruggle24
    @EmbraceTheStruggle24 Жыл бұрын

    Hi Julia. As a returning commenter i have been worrying about all kinds of things for years. And sometimes I'm not even exactly sure of what is trivial and what is important; which are among the many internal conflicts I have within myself. It's difficult to describe tbh. All that I know is that no one is perfect and I feel like my compassionate personality has always been a redeeming quality of mine - even when I'm fretful or down in the dumps. I've also been having a lot of difficulty making simple decisions and trusting myself; but I'm sure that will come naturally. I have been quick to blame myself with certain things as well (that aren't even always my fault).

  • @101hamilton
    @101hamilton Жыл бұрын

    This is such a great video! Thank you for posting!

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    you are so very welcome. Glad you're here.

  • @cherrycain6425
    @cherrycain642511 ай бұрын

    I worry so much about so many things everyday. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. It’s so hard to stop. I’ve watched all kinds of videos, been to the doctor and put on medication. I’m reading my Bible, praying and TRYING to go to church. I have health problems so that keeps me home worrying.

  • @Dezzyyx
    @Dezzyyx Жыл бұрын

    Hm so if worry is just to avoid your own vulnerabilities that might come to the surface if the situation you worry about happens, logically you should stop worrying and just let yourself face the feeling you are afraid of. Say I'm afraid of a divorce, specifically the feeling of loneliness that might come up for me in that scenario, I will worry about it, but in this case I should confront that demon of loneliness and in that I face the fear, the source of worry. You could argue "but in a divorce there might be real problems to worry about", but is there really? What is a problem? Is it, "am I ultimately going to be OK?", and if so.. as long as you can be ok with whatever feelings you will have to live with, you will be ok. Rarely is the worst outcome fatal, and so the problem only exists in so far as you can be ok with yourself, and from that find a way to move past the situation or problem. Might not be so easy but just from a logical standpoint.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    THIS! 👆

  • @lesliengo8347
    @lesliengo8347 Жыл бұрын

    My dad worries a lot. Worrying about what other people think, what other people have going on, avoiding mistakes and not paying attention to his own wants and needs. I believe my worry mainly comes from him. Nevertheless, I am committed to worrying less and enjoying more.

  • @bruceprigge5212
    @bruceprigge5212 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you ! 😊

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    YOu are so welcome. glad you could be here.

  • @dl5054
    @dl5054 Жыл бұрын

    I only worry about missing one of your talks. Another win win. I’ll be sleeping with my phone close to my heart. ❤🥂😃.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    ha! No need to worry - they will be here when you're ready.

  • @krakkag
    @krakkag Жыл бұрын

    You do an amazing job.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Thanks so much. I hope you found this talk helpful.

  • @noserialkiller3596
    @noserialkiller3596 Жыл бұрын

    I appreciate your efforts! No Serial Killer.

  • @deepamehta1110
    @deepamehta11108 ай бұрын

    Notice how I’m worrying, observe the thoughts, and detach from them. They are not me, just thoughts.

  • @evanamiart91
    @evanamiart91 Жыл бұрын

    My brain constantly tells me if I try to do anything or learn anything in art, that's new and vulnerable, it will lead to my end, to my death, to my coffin. In other words, I'm going to die from this.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    What are the facts surrounding those thoughts?

  • @evanamiart91

    @evanamiart91

    Жыл бұрын

    @juliakristinamah My brain is a bag. Information and experiences are 🟢 to add inside my bag. Art College has 4 modules, so I added 4 🟢in my brain bag. Each module has around 4 briefs, so 4 x 4 = 16. 16 🟢 are in my bag, oooo ummmmm oooooooookay, bit too much, but okay. Then I have to experiment and try new things, so for me, painting using different paints like acrylic is 🟢, posters 🟢, oils 🟢. 3 paints = 3 🟢 Then brushes. 1 brush = 1🟢, 2 brushes = 2🟢, 10 brushes = 10🟢 so that's an extra 13 with 10 brushes and 3 paints 🟢 added to 16 for 29🟢 in my brain bag. UH OH. Researching techniques and ideas could be another 5-10 🟢 per module. So, around 20-40🟢 added to the 16 of the 4 modules and briefs. That equals 36-56 🟢 in my bag. WHAT THE A**. When a bag is overfilled to the point, it can't hold any more 🟢, it spills out, and for me, it leads to a total mental shutdown, and I get 🔴NOTHING🔴 done as a result. Known as Information overload. My brain tells me that if the bag is overfilled, the bag will explode. In this case, my brain actually tells me the brain WILL actually EXPLODE from information overload, which leads to my death. Hence, my brain tells me I'm going to die from this. When I describe what I go through, maybe I have ADHD, maybe. The only way I get anything done is by listening to your therapy and meditation. AS I'm doing the work, otherwise, if I dont get my daily help, then I get nothing done. Plus I live in a LESS IS MORE mindset otherwise my brain tells me, Yes, your right "I'm going to die"

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 Жыл бұрын

    And we are not promised tomorrow! AMEN! And yes, came from both parents worries!

  • @captaindan1000
    @captaindan1000 Жыл бұрын

    I wasn't originally going to say something supportive but as it turns out, I don't have to worry about the result. So I just did it anyway.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Ha! Love this Dan.

  • @abdullahisskhan7628
    @abdullahisskhan7628 Жыл бұрын

    God Bless You!

  • @stevecatanio8532
    @stevecatanio8532 Жыл бұрын

    This is helpful though.

  • @anikalee9012
    @anikalee9012 Жыл бұрын

    I have Anxiety attack part of CPTSD. It becomes severe after another traumatic event on going since childhood. Nothing get me better my freeze mode getting more severe because I'm facing real problems in life. Until I heard about attached to outcome. Oh I attached to the out come because I fear it wont results what I want. And the the most important I know I become anxious since I was a baby because nobody there when I cry and fear. And being stuck with difficult people since Ibwas born. No wonder I have these anxiety disorders who won't in these situations I'm in my entire life. Now a sentence " I will handle it" I tell myself set me free from anxiety. Now I'm release my trauma because of this two big awearness.

  • @anonymousanonymous9797
    @anonymousanonymous9797 Жыл бұрын

    Sending ❤ to all.xx

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you! And to you.

  • @fisherman547
    @fisherman54710 ай бұрын

    So what meds do you recommend for this worrying

  • @shaunaj5847
    @shaunaj5847 Жыл бұрын

    Hey Julia, hope you are doing well... Thank you so much for your video on this topic. Any advice on being at war within ourselves? I have always felt and been at war with myself. I have no peace inside. I'm struggling to sleep in peace, my mind is racing not stop and will not shut off no matter how much I try.

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Hi Shauna - I have a whole playlist here with videos on building self-confidence through building a strong relationship with yourself. Have you checked that playlist out?

  • @shaunaj5847

    @shaunaj5847

    Жыл бұрын

    @@juliakristinamah I haven't yet but will definitely have a look and go through the playlist. Thank you so much for your kindness and your message. It means a lot to me to hear from you Julia. (My role model) I'm one of your amazing shifter.

  • @sandyhagloch8766
    @sandyhagloch8766 Жыл бұрын

    How do we know the difference between ptsd and worry?

  • @joannepigliavento7930
    @joannepigliavento7930 Жыл бұрын

    Growing up, I was surrounded by adults who were always talking about this person’s ailment or sickness. “We have to pray for poor Joe”, etc. would this be learned behavior? I struggle with health anxiety 😢

  • @leahosborne8400
    @leahosborne8400 Жыл бұрын

    So I try to send a request to get the list Julia offers but I never get the link.

  • @stevecatanio8532
    @stevecatanio8532 Жыл бұрын

    Do I worry? Who needs that when I got these videos?

  • @raymondmedina3244
    @raymondmedina3244 Жыл бұрын

    Hello julia don't know but I'm stuck worry about wear i going to live when father passes and am i healthy

  • @Nekotaku_TV
    @Nekotaku_TV Жыл бұрын

    The first one is not subconscious to me, I know and think about this. 7:30 WTH? I sure as hell don't do that. Don't quite get the third one. My parents didn't worry more than normal, I can't relate to or remember what you're describing.

  • @SemiPerfectDark
    @SemiPerfectDark Жыл бұрын

    I love your videos. You have a typo in this one by the way. 😊

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Thanks so much for pointing that out!

  • @stevecatanio8532
    @stevecatanio8532 Жыл бұрын

    How do you always know?

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer32410 ай бұрын

    You look gorgeous

  • @hotkarenbritney
    @hotkarenbritney Жыл бұрын

    How can get this Mindfulness..?

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Here's the link for you: tt.juliakristina.com/free-mindfulness/

  • @fisherman547
    @fisherman54710 ай бұрын

    Is this worrying, anxiety maybe panic attacks

  • @stevecatanio8532
    @stevecatanio8532 Жыл бұрын

    🎉

  • @aliahmedyacin721
    @aliahmedyacin7213 ай бұрын

    👍🏽

  • @JCIK33
    @JCIK33 Жыл бұрын

    We worry about our pride and ego. Everybody wants to be better than the next guy,or prove his or her opinion as being the best...that's the real worry people have,and where does it get us? Sniffing our own butts?

  • @ArtemisSilverBow

    @ArtemisSilverBow

    Жыл бұрын

    Not everybody worries about their pride and ego

  • @dwalden74
    @dwalden74 Жыл бұрын

    Thumbnail spelling??

  • @juliakristinamah

    @juliakristinamah

    Жыл бұрын

    Thanks! That was my mistake.

  • @notsure9853
    @notsure9853 Жыл бұрын

    Stuck eversence Iraq

  • @antonvasylchenko7039
    @antonvasylchenko7039 Жыл бұрын

    The real reason why I can't stop worrying is the war in my country

  • @mfrancisco_850

    @mfrancisco_850

    Жыл бұрын

    thats a legit reason to fear so im sorry that you have to go through that.

  • @ReginaBuryak

    @ReginaBuryak

    Жыл бұрын

    🇺🇦🙏🏼

  • @antonvasylchenko7039

    @antonvasylchenko7039

    Жыл бұрын

    @@mfrancisco_850 thank you

  • @HEROHCR2YT

    @HEROHCR2YT

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@Anton Vasylchenko I can't imagine what that must be like. But I can tell you this channel has helped me so much. I want the war to stop. I'm anti war. I hope this video and similar ones are good healthy distractions for you 🙏🏼

  • @ArtemisSilverBow

    @ArtemisSilverBow

    Жыл бұрын

    I hear you. I care. You've got that spark inside you. You're resourceful. You're going to get through it. I'm so sad you have to go through this. You're a shining light of strength and compassion.

  • @stevecatanio8532
    @stevecatanio8532 Жыл бұрын

    God someone looks like they slept on the right side of the bed this morning? No make up much? You always look this great?

  • @Stanley-xc4yc
    @Stanley-xc4yc4 ай бұрын

    Amazing content 🌈🦜😊, Thank You Julie Kristina 😊🧸🦜🌈

  • @sharonb519
    @sharonb519 Жыл бұрын

    As insane as what you said sounded, it made plenty of sense to me. It’s exhausting being crazy. 🥹