Ok I just paused the podcast and asked my husband what was new with the Packers and didn’t interrupt him. Then he talked for 50 min straight.

@theellenfisherpodcast

18 күн бұрын

hahaha loveeee this

@shaniecegullison

17 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@stephanielaico8861

17 күн бұрын

😂 😂😂

@rochellebartholomew

14 күн бұрын

❤

@lvalesic-bralo2478

14 күн бұрын

He needed it 🎉

I watched this with my husband last night. 30 minutes in he says out loud, "Wow. I feel so seen and heard." 🎤💥

@Mushroom321-

8 күн бұрын

Awesome!!😮😮

@scottmerric2180

7 күн бұрын

Needed this woman woman to translate for us lol

@TruthLove333

6 күн бұрын

🥲

I have said this for a long time and Im really glad she validated it for me “ Women treat men like women who are not acting right.”

@lasdalias5456

7 күн бұрын

That makes so much sense, you’re right!

@GabrielleTollerson

5 күн бұрын

aww,angry abusive men are such victims,awwww

@DamnTastyVegan

5 күн бұрын

And men treat women like objects, abuse us and murder us. I still think they get the lesser of two evils

@NiaLaLa_V

5 күн бұрын

@@GabrielleTollerson They are not all abusers. My dad is a good man. My husband is a good man. My nephews are all good men. My neighbor is a good man. If you only know bad men you need to choose better. We are all sick of hearing that picker broken joke and then being expected to pick up the pieces of your messy life. Choose better.

@TJ-hw5tb

5 күн бұрын

🤯

What I don’t understand is why women always seem to be the ones who have to adjust, learn, and hold space. I got a lot to learn I know. I’m still glad this popped on my for you page.

@iSweetnSimple

7 күн бұрын

1:35:16 I’m glad I kept watching and got my answer 😅

@BIGSISTERENERGYRISE

6 күн бұрын

I'm thinking the same... they barely have such podcasts or get together to try understand us... which I think becomes an imbalance cause now we know them better nd do things to make them better but we are longing to also be heard nd loved n understood. Let me carry on watching

@user-cz9dh4yy3g

6 күн бұрын

because men do not care about relationships as we women do men can be content with 3min sex, basic food and living in a wall-less shack in the jungle, we can't

@AG-nn8lp

5 күн бұрын

WHO said men don't have to either??

@NiaLaLa_V

5 күн бұрын

Women are not the ones who always need to change. But if in your life you have often been told that you need to learn and change, maybe you do and your loved ones are trying to keep a relationship with you. I have never seen men be as unaccountable as us women, we are so good at pretending we are not the problem when we absolutely are. Best of luck to you, I got married at 20 and still happy with him at 40 I just wish the rest of you had happy lives too.

I feel triggered listening to this. I feel like we women always have to be the ones doing the effort even to understand and tolerate men's behaviour. We have the weight of society on our backs, we need to care for everything, think about everything, work, home, kids, groceries, clothes, men. Imagine our "natural" characteristics: being super conscious and aware of everything, and now put us in the society we have (which was mostly created and maintained this way by men) and realise how we are going to burn out quick. On top of that we still need to be the ones trying to be better, studying podcasts and books, therapy, about relationships, parenting, etc. Of course we expect reciprocity because WE NEED to share the load we have on our backs with someone. Of course I feel frustrated. 😅 I'm sorry about my rant, still found the podcast interesting and I was honestly surprised by how triggered I felt. It shows I have to work more on myself 🥵😅

@celiamergen2091

17 күн бұрын

I understand your frustration. The thing is though, the women want to be even more aware! And so they listen to podcasts like this so that they can understand more of what is going on. I think the best way to take these kinds of podcasts is to realize that both men and women can learn from each other. We can learn from men's focus, both with how they work and how they relax. Men can learn from us how to be more aware of what is going on around them. It shouldn't be an "I do this, you do that." It should be, we both work in different ways , "let's figure out how to work together and learn about each other."

@marishapeters1647

17 күн бұрын

I think maybe you should take a look at the other side and realize what men are worrying about too. They worry about the same things we do, just in different ways.

@martaso643

17 күн бұрын

@@marishapeters1647 yes absolutely. I am sure they worry too. 🙏 I genuinely feel like we live in such different realities sometimes. And I know for a fact that the way I perceive reality seems aburd to my partner, just as much as I feel the same about his perception of reality too sometimes. I am sure the way I felt about this podcast will open a new door for mutual understanding. 😊

@Colin-cb8hv

17 күн бұрын

Cry harder feminist

@apau21

17 күн бұрын

I agree with you but I don’t see an alternative. I think of it as part of our job in this earth 😊 if I could give you any advice it would be to find a partner that appreciates your soft skills and dedication to your growth and feels curious about podcasts or books you recommend. In other words make it part of your value and not as a burden. Hope this helps 💜

It's as simple as acknowledging and praising what you want more of:) I decided to write a note of appreciation every day to my husband it transformed my own heart. There truly is so much that goes unnoticed and when you bring it into the light, it invites more! We both aren't the same people anymore and our marriage is a millions times better! Don't overlook the gift of appreciation. It will be a gift that comes back to you! It basically moves the energy cycle going in the positive direction.

@ljsunshine1232

5 күн бұрын

Acknowledging and praising what I want more of it what I used to do when I worked in a kindergarten class. I expect more from a partner in an adult relationship.

@kilaa3417

3 күн бұрын

Girl what. Appreciating + praising your loved ones comes with every single relationship lol not just romantic partnerships.@@ljsunshine1232

@stephenrandall484

3 күн бұрын

Just hearing this gives me a little hope. Humility is much under rated.

@Melkylkade

3 күн бұрын

In my opinion, appreciation never loses its value as we age:) Its truly every bit as much as a gift to yourself as it unveils what was there all along, but too blinded by victimhood, self- righteousness and pride to see. That doesn't mean everything is perfect, but we all have warped perspectives that blind us to reality. In my experience, seeing and acknowledging the good, was for more effective than demanding or even silent resentment. Now my husband WANTS to do things he knows means something to me. Its such a simple and powerful thing that's actually really not that complicated. And what do you have to lose to try it other than your pride? Jordan Peterson has some interesting videos on just how powerful the littlest bit of appreciation is and how starved people are for it these days.

LOVE SEEING A BOOMER GETTING INTERVIEWED. Everyone on youtube is 30 or younger. We desperately need older people to share their wisdom and experience with us

Alison Armstrong changed my life. She is the key to living in harmony and balance within masculine and feminine relationships... Her work is revolutionizing, it may seem overly simplistic, but the truth is simple, the path is simple... Sometimes we over complicated things, Alison is here to save us all from creating more separation and distance between sexes.

@Portia620

9 күн бұрын

Something human kind desperately needs in a time of hate and finger pointing!!!

@stephenrandall484

3 күн бұрын

Simple ,always has been.Women overthink things with little to know application of singular contex. (except the context they arrive at by default.) Men are more focused. Women hyperventilate on platitudes.

I read this book a month ago or so.. literally saw the video and clicked.. soooo fast. I totally realized that we view men so wrong.. Must read for all women.

@kikid1121

11 күн бұрын

I'm getting the book

@awsambdaman

7 күн бұрын

Yeah also my wife started reading “men are from mars, women are from venus”. I think a lot of women in the comments frustrated because it feels like they’re the ones putting all the work into understanding romantic relationships. Trust me, in my algorithm I am constantly recommended videos on how to be a better husband, what women want, how to understand women, all that stuff. So there are a lot of men trying to understand how women think as well. At risk of pissing women off..I’ve seen comments saying “we’re the ones working on communicating and they don’t even try” yeah but I see a lot of women who don’t try to understand men, they try to make men think like women. Men are NOT defective women, men genuinely think differently from women. We value different things. For example, I didn’t realize how big of a deal my tone was when I argue with my wife. I wouldn’t even really pay attention to my tone, I was so fixated on saying precisely what I thought/felt. But lo and behold, if I spoke gently and with love, she would accept practically anything I told her. I didn’t realize that my tone, if it got too harsh, made her feel resistant to me and unloved. So just one example of how the different sexes think differently and value different things. Men and women need to learn to communicate how their partner of the opposite gender will best receive it

@user-qg4he8mj1r

7 күн бұрын

Which one?🥰

It’s funny my husband always interrupts me when we are having a conversation. He talks a lot. I’m the listener. So it gets frustrating when I’m trying to say something. We are working on it, when i bring it up. He always apologizes. ❤ we are a work in progress.

@PassionateFlower

7 күн бұрын

He interrupts you because he does not respect you. People who interrupt are showing you contempt and disdain for you. Apologies don't mean anything if he keeps doing it that means he has a pattern of disrespecting you. He's probably a misogynist. He says sorry then does it again. Sorry is just the lube he uses to psychologically keep r@ping your dignity and self worth. Do you understand?

@Ikr2025

7 күн бұрын

My husband says nothing. Or very little. It is like living with a brick wall. I’d rather live with a talker.

@ranglumoje5649

7 күн бұрын

Better to simply live without a stupid man 😎😆

@user-cz9dh4yy3g

6 күн бұрын

he's in the feminine and you're in the masculine if this reverse polarization goes too far it can be dangerous for the relationship check out John Gray

@NiaLaLa_V

5 күн бұрын

@@user-cz9dh4yy3g Or he is ND and she is NT. We have no idea, she told us two sentences about their marriage. People getting diagnosed in comment sections is ruining the world.

I think the comments section is taking the entire context of this conversation out of proportion. If we do not consider a mans feelings, do not treat him with kindness. How can we expect the same in return longterm ?? This woman is talking about hard facts from years of research. No one is saying to centre men and let women roam/sacrifice for them no but at least take the time to understand the science of why men & women are differant and how to bridge the gap in between.

@user-cz9dh4yy3g

6 күн бұрын

"years of research" hahahahah

@wLBlue

4 күн бұрын

How'd they do it before the research. Feminism has made everything complicated. But yet...it's not complicated in the beginning of a relationship? Why? What changes? Why do women file majority of divorces?

@stephenrandall484

3 күн бұрын

@@wLBlue It could be argued that men go along to get along,eventualy having his spirit broken, then "hes not the same man he was when i married him" Fault lies both with the man for not being a man, and with the woman for "feeling" the need to change him. Also the lesbian statistics re divorce states the same reasons as hetro relationships, and is approx 10% higher.

@jenifernadeau

22 сағат бұрын

We have to just love where we are and Who We Are... and then we can only energetically attract the same frequency that we are❤ no one has to offer us anything just because we did it for them. That's the illusion we were all fed, expecting reciprocity. We don't have to offer what someone else offers us either, unless we are checking in with our true authentic selves first ❤When we have no expectation, we allow space for a much more wonderful things to come in

Omg this point at about 37 minutes. 😳😳😳 I always tell my husband to tell me when I have raccoon eyes... he says he will, but when I look in the mirror I have raccoon eyes - "hun why didn't you tell me I had raccoon eyes?" "I didn't see it" or "you look great!" 😂 this is so relatable!

@spirulina3924

12 күн бұрын

I know what you mean but you calling it racoon eyes makes it sound adorable 😄☺️

@Chap17

11 күн бұрын

Amazing yet men don't usually cheat with Racoons eyes 😂

I found the part about “withholding appreciation” from men to be interesting! I don’t think it’s something I realized I was doing lol it’s like if my partner isn’t appreciating or even acknowledging my constant work around the house….why would I congratulate him for doing one singular task while I’m doing 50 💀😭 that’s a tough one for me!

@MsPants1632

18 күн бұрын

When I’m asked if I noticed something he had done I say “yes, did you notice all those clean underwear in your drawer?” 😂. I don’t need a big thank you or acknowledge for doing the everyday things and I guess I find it weird that he does. But I’ll be a little more appreciative now :)

@Sammiejammie521

14 күн бұрын

Maybe if you actually try to appreciate your man, then maybe you would see a difference in him. They have different needs than us, and maybe his needs aren’t being met! Expecting someone else to be exactly like you, and need the exact same things as you is not a great way to go about a relationship.

@LauraGarcia-il2ug

14 күн бұрын

should go both ways. but aprecciation can be shown in different ways. Not only with words

@Jaylade

14 күн бұрын

maybe because you're doing too much for him

@sundown6748

14 күн бұрын

Yeah like, “ thank you so much you are so amazing for picking up your own dirty socks while I do 65 things at the same time “

Wow....women are focused on well being, men on providing. The explains so much. It should be obvious but ive never thought of it this way. Every time i get emotional im expecting him to hold and comfort me but he's trying to figure out why im crying and solve the "problem". Its so sweet to see he's trying to protect me from the threat (in this case, tears or whatever caused me to cry) and i had a hard time seeing it because im focused on well being (his presence, seeking comfort, encouragement etc).

@jessicahitchens6926

7 күн бұрын

Grow up. Crying over trivia.. Such a turn off to men and women.

Next she should write “The King’s Code” to help men get along with women more. Would be a good sequel ☺️

@user-wl8mn7mh9o

7 сағат бұрын

Men wouldn’t read that

It's such a delight when a man takes care of all the details and leads the way...perfect for me to relax and soak everything in....ah!

@Jamhael1

4 күн бұрын

As a men, let me tell you why: You let it go of your sword - this is why it is so easy now.

We act as if their Doing Nothing isn't important and they act like our Wanting to Connect With Them isn't important....WOW!! THAT INSIGHT ALONE could save the planet!! WHat a fab convo I was lucky enough to stumble upon. Thanks, Ladies. 🎉

What Alison calls 'puttering,' my husband calls the 'bumblebee approach.' A prime example is going shopping. A female, aka me, uses the bumblebee approach (which drives him crazy) by going in the store and going from one item to the next based on what attracted me on the way to what I went into the store for. Whereas a man, aka him, is focused on what he went into the store to get, purchases it, and leaves.

@Jamhael1

4 күн бұрын

The old caveman "hunter man & woman gatherer" psychology...

@rachelmariasnow88

19 сағат бұрын

Oh I love this. The bumble bee approach 😂

@Jamhael1

19 сағат бұрын

@@rachelmariasnow88 in the perception of us men, we are EXTREMELY "energy conscious" - for us, if the spenditure of energy employed into a certain task do not offer us a greater result than its cost, we don't do it.

I just subscribed, because this is one of a very few women's shows about men I've seen, that treats men with respect and doesn't blame, shame or belittle them. AND the info is great, too! Kudos.

@user-cz9dh4yy3g

6 күн бұрын

check out Pat Allen and John Gray

@beingintrinsic

5 күн бұрын

I love that you said this. I know that when my content reaches the point where having a podcast makes sense I will be another female who speaks with respect and curiosity and amazement. Misplacing resentment and projecting it as fact is a toxic behaviour that comes from not properly processing emotions/needs and taking the responsibility to request and adjust engagement based on that reality, not just based on feelings.

I tried listening the way she said, and I have had days of praise from my husband. Just read and devoured the book in the last two days. I feel like this has been what I've been looking for.

Right.. why is it that most women including myself wake up go to work, clean the house on my days off, cook meals for us, wash his clothes, watch these type of podcasts to learn while he goes to work, then lies on the couch and plays Playstation games on his day off, where is his self awareness and how can i not jump to the conclusion he's superficial when all he displays is playing video games or watching tv when hes not at work..yet i have to show the appreciation????

@j.p.4658

12 күн бұрын

Communicate that with him, set your boundaries, see how far he can go in doing chores. I'm a woman and I'm lazy, if someone else does these things (i.e. mom), I'd also want to watch TV all day after work. But if there is respect for my mom and also communication and if I care she is exhausted after work, I'll want to do the chores. The thing is chores don't seem like so much job when you are not doing them all, hence you don't appreciate someone doing them, it becomes invisible. But try being a team

@Chap17

11 күн бұрын

Or maybe it's time for a trade in...maybe have him watch it 🎉🎉🎉🎉

@DamnTastyVegan

10 күн бұрын

Exactly! Women’s labor isn’t valued as much in the patriarchy

@cynthiacastro158

10 күн бұрын

You also teach a man how to treat you. Gentle and respectful but firm and communicate your needs with respect is key.

@lorablackbird

10 күн бұрын

I had a boyfriend like that and he was just not the right partner for me. Sometimes it's as simple as that. You cannot change someone but you are the one who is chosing to be with him. 😉

This woman is profoundly brilliant! A man to protect us from ourself! WOW! True love! Protect from enemies!

@DamnTastyVegan

9 күн бұрын

Oh, so it’s men who should protect us from OURSELVES!?!! Got it. Take a look at domestic violence statistics and get back to me about that “protection”

@Lebensbaustein

9 күн бұрын

​@@DamnTastyVegan also anyone who was fathered by or dated one of the many absent men who don't feel like protecting anyone but their own ego. 😂

@zdravin4448

5 күн бұрын

​@@DamnTastyVegan Lesbian relationships have the highest number of dv, try again.

@Miladee240

3 күн бұрын

Why do we need protection from ourselves, are our own enemies now? It just seems like we get into relationships for projects really, kind of like build a bear. I need a complete man, not to say perfect, but complete.

@stephenrandall484

3 күн бұрын

@@zdravin4448 and men who do not report dv. seems to be some fems trolling.on here.

Omg Alison Armstrong!!!!! Getting a spotlight shined on her!!!! What a time!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I read her book this year. AHHHHHHH. She is changing lives!

This is actually about maturity. I'm glad i dont have to be a mom to mine. Bc to me, if he needed all that, i would naturally and inevitably have trouble connecting to him as an equal. Maybe that's bc ive been around so many men in my life who are not this complicated. But all shapes and sizes right. ✌️

this is so much more helpful than telling us that men and women are enemies

I love hearing the intro to your podcasts. It’s so well done! The images, music, everything!!

@theellenfisherpodcast

18 күн бұрын

aweee thank you! I work so long and hard at them. it's my favorite part to get creative :)

@cara.leo_

13 күн бұрын

Agreed!

I wish I had this ten years ago for interacting with my son! He left home two months ago and I just attended his graduation from Air Force basic. I’ve often wondered what his deal is when he would take forever to answer me, or had no opinion, or would talk my ear off about batteries when I wondered why I shouldn’t let a certain type of battery drop below 30%. Turns out… he’s just a guy! And it’s nice knowing about half the people he meets will get him. 😂

@UnbridledUnsung

3 күн бұрын

oh wow that’s exactly my bf. he doesn’t waste a word and really thinks about each one. but he’s very verbose when it comes to something he’s sure about or learned. i think most guys care a lot about their integrity and it shows in what they choose to say and what to hold off on saying.

Thankyou so much!!! Am going through a tough time with my partner of 24 yrs. We are best friends but often our communication just doesn’t hit the mark. We both feel unheard, unappreciated and upset. To be fair, we have both changed so much from how we were when we met. The interruption thing is big for him when I’m trying to get clarity from what he is saying. He then refocuses on my interruption and never finishes what he was saying and it snowballs and comms just breaks down. I will now be more aware of just listening completely and I am so getting this book!! Ive been scouring you tube for the right advice and nothing was hitting for me, everything pointed to ‘he must be a narcissist, leave leave leave.’ Leaving is not an option and the advice I found was just not relating to what’s happening for us. We have immense love for each other but frustrated is where we are at. Leaving is not an option, we want to make it work. Plus 3 children and a fur baby who need us both. I am almost in tears so happy I found this video and this advice is exactly what I needed to hear, it all makes so much sense and she is just so right!!!! I have alot to learn here and am willing to learn and try. He is such a good man with lots of good intentions and I just need to understand men better lol and myself. Heres to being a better partner! Thankyou ty ty!! new premium sub right here!

I love Alison so much. My friend that exposed me to her did the listening thing to me. It was unique.

This is one of the best podcasts that I watched in my entire life. I bow to you and thank you for that.

paying attention to someone's core wounding is so important. when she talks about her mum emphasizing the need for her to have a man but also never need them, it makes so much sense why she has built a life around tying to understand men and constantly make adjustments for them with little or no reciprocity and why she thinks women as a collective should do so on top of the emotional, mental labor we already carry for men. I am exhausted, men should also take the time to learn some

@Jamhael1

4 күн бұрын

The problem is: women believe that men is a woman's mind in a male body.

@ginajam6439

3 күн бұрын

Right? She makes men sound so dumb and juvenile. Like they poo poo their pants and wet have to clean up their mess. I already have children that I need to worry and think about, I need a real man. One who understands emotional language and isn't checked out.

oh my goodness, how incredible! I love Alison and have been listening to her for years, she is such a gift to the world. Thank you for having her on!

Her book changed my life and my relationships with men.

As an INFJ woman, my conversations are diffused, interconnected, multifaceted whilst also being mindful of a culminating point of vision and meaning. So it seems I am internally androgenous haha It's always awkward trying to categorize and show differences when there is so much overlap and other elements involved Due to being highly intuitive (vs sensory minded women) and having adhd, I hyperfocus and cannot easily transition from one task to another. Really struggle with starting something Gender, personality, nurturing, culture, mental quirks, ptsd etc

"I can't protect you if you're in front of me." My boyfriend snapped at me because he was trying to find the train platform. I didn't know what he was looking for, really. It was my first time taking the train. We ended up having an argument. His logic was that he wanted to get us back to our hotel safely and on time. However, we didn't have plans to do anything else.

@wendyhuntsman176

9 күн бұрын

Haha! I feel like that was a surprise ending

@megcurtis4361

7 күн бұрын

Ha ha love it!

@tinaw2033

5 күн бұрын

It’s funny cause my boyfriend didnt understand why I walk behind him. I feel more safe behind him as apposed to in front of him.

@EriPages

4 күн бұрын

Why would you walk infront of your boyfriend regardless of where you are? Especially in a new environment?

Oh my gosh!!! I read this book years ago and I’m so glad it’s resurfacing for me! It’s a really amazing hidden gem!

Thankful for the beauty of the advice of older women.

I find it very frustrating that so many women will completely deny that we are different than men, and that doesn’t mean we are superior to them or there is something wrong with them. We constantly beat them down. I’m guessing it’s because they feel that it was reversed in years past. Just not buying it. I love this honest conversation. Thank you Ellen ❤

I could cry... I need this!!!

This is one of my favorite episodes, Ellen! I will re-listen to it & read the book. Thank you both! ❤

Ellen I am so glad that your podcasts are back! I listen to a few others but you are my favorite.

I am single, but this is hard for me to understand after growing up with a father who was high anxiety and worked in law enforcement. He was/is always looking around, noticing things that my mother never noticed. He’s very good at reading people’s body language, facial expressions, etc. My dad actually always made fun of my mother for not being able to multitask. The older I get, the more I realize that my parents are somewhat atypical for their sexes. This was super fascinating!

@jasminerathod9503

5 күн бұрын

That doesn't sound atypical at all though! He needs to be that way for his job.

@beingintrinsic

5 күн бұрын

it sounds like his wiring for protecting was on high alert. Likely trauma exaggerated his testosterone driven behaviour... when someone is prone to flight in the FFFF trauma responses, they have ADHD like symptoms when triggered by a trauma so combine that with testosterone, it looks kind of like the hypervigilant traits you mentioned. interesting to ponder this... my best friend is similar to your description but then it went away when he felt safe to express authentically, use his boundaries and honour himself more. for him, plant medicine was a key catalyst for him leaving hypervigilant states and now he has very little of the adhd symptoms remaining.

@wLBlue

4 күн бұрын

Smart man...everyone should be more aware...and if not don't have to understand but accept those around you that do...because they care.

Ellen, this is top notch production

This convo seemed like so much fun! Thanks for sharing. Definitely counter cultural and powerful concepts

One of my favorite episodes to date!

This is excellent. Alison really knows her stuff!

I am perfectly imperfect!! Yep!! I wished more people would be that way!!!!🙏

Ladies the title got me to listen and your message and voices really make sense and help. Good luck to the single ladies trying to break relationship patterns. We can do it!!!

Love all of you chapters but this one is my favourite so far!

Thank God for the man He sent to me! And all the caring and providing he has done! I pray God makes me the wife he needs!! 💗💗

@jullianneavery4587

9 күн бұрын

Beautiful and pretty sure this is how the last generation were taught.

@wendyhuntsman176

9 күн бұрын

Wow, that's really precious :)

What a wonderful message. Thank you for thoughtfully & gently conveying it.

Listen to keys to the kingdom first and then the queens code. They are so good.

Honestly, honestly… love this.

I love this so much. I hate how a lot of people talk about men. I hate that men are the villains a lot of time in our stories.

@louisebotos7321

10 күн бұрын

yep..alot of women who villianise men have sons and bad mouth men in front of them. Soooo damaging.

@DamnTastyVegan

9 күн бұрын

That’s because men are the biggest threat to women. Look at sexual violence, domestic violence statistics and get back to me. And it’s not only the men actively doing these things, but the men that see and hear their friends saying and doing things and not stepping in and speaking up.

@selamabere3361

7 күн бұрын

There are good men, and there are bad men. Not every man is a villain and not every man is a saint. Exposing the wrongdoings of some bad men is not villianizing the whole gender. Just don't be a trash human being 🤷🏽‍♀️

I just came across this video THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Opened my eyes to sooo much 💕 mind blowing I can’t wait to dive in more.

Ellen!! Thank you so much for having Alison on your podcast - from the first 10 minutes my mind was blown and I immediately purchased The Queens Code audiobook and can barely turn it off! 🤭 I can't wait for The Kings Code!!

I’m confused as to at what point men want to give to women and women actually get to receive.

Self care is key. When I neglect myself, I lose clarity.

Dont interrupt... Great advice.

My gosh this is mindblowingly enlightening... thank you! Wish I had heard this earlier in my life...

This is Soooo very POWERFUL! I Am grateful. This is Me at 61 and my Boyfriend of 6 years age 63.

Wow! Very insightful. I'm divorced and not in a relationship currently. So helpful to learn for my future dating and relationships.

Officially obsessed with this human! Thank you ❤ Gotta get that audiobook!

@theellenfisherpodcast

18 күн бұрын

It's so good!

Ellen is back!!! ❤ watching this now! So excited

Who is this woman?oh my goodness, what a great teacher! So gentle and deep. I am so glad I found this! I ❤

I kept falling asleep cause it was the middle of the night and I was breastfeeding but every time I woke up, I listened and found a lot of what she says is founded on truth and I bet A LOT of research. Really want to get her audiobook and then maybe I might understand my husband better when he doesn't do something I want done right away and avoid needless arguments. Thank you for this podcast ❤

Whoa! This woman is filled with wisdom! I most definitely need to read this book! It will help me understand my son's more ❤🎉

Someone gave me book THE SUN ALWAYS PIERCES THROUGH & it helped me so much heal from loss

Punching air right now. Spot on when she said men dont respond to woman. My husband. He is my kryptonite. I love him so much yet he will push a button lovingly to no end sometimes. He is a strudy oak that doesnt even move in the wind. And when your a woman that is a realization you have with life. That is a blessing.

I am beyond grateful to have found this podcast 🙏

@theellenfisherpodcast

9 күн бұрын

im so glad, thank you for being here!

Love this interview, so relaxing! However I know some verrrry talkative men. I’ve been holding space and listening to my father and brother my whole life. I’ve had to work through finding my voice and being seen and heard as a woman.

My heart is so full from this podcast❤️ Thank you everyone! Blessings!

You got so many great nuggets in this!

I let my husband talk all the time . He hardly listens to me at all . Maybe I’m the guy in the relationship

@DamnTastyVegan

9 күн бұрын

Men value other men and male hobbies more, because the patriarchy teaches us that. This is very common for men to not give a crap about things their wives or women talk about.

@OonaNymn

9 күн бұрын

if you told him you need him to ask you about your feelings from time to time, because it would make you feel more safe, this might actually help

@Snappypantsdance

9 күн бұрын

@@DamnTastyVegan I think you’re not getting some points here.

@Love-eg2vf

8 күн бұрын

@@OonaNymnHaving to baby your spouse with gentle language like that and guide them like you would a toddler is the recipe for resentment to build, and attraction to disappear. I know because I used to use this approach and then just gave up. The fact is that the lack of self-awareness and self-improvement that is so common to many men adds a huge load of extra emotional labor for women, who already have to deal with all that from their children. So they just decide to close off from him emotionally and just give him to do lists because at least he’s useful that way. I’ve seen this pattern so much by frustrated women that I decided it’s best to stay single and I’ve never been happier. I still have many male friends but I find that only a rare few have what it takes to create a string relationship

@Gabriella-le5fl

7 күн бұрын

Agree , this is teriible and is real...The estrutured machismo , in theyre deep, we dont mean nothing to them , most are them are programing like that.... They value other men , listen to them, admire and help.... Aniway, just the ones who have Evolve Spirit and are Aware are respectfull , im sure more than half of men around the World is a cave men inside. In South america the machismo is terrible , latins are the worst for this machismo...and unfortunally to say , womans create this machismo too ...is very complex to talk about this in a coment ....i choose to be single and Happy again , living whit my Animal family ....im done whit relationships , im more happy now ...​@@DamnTastyVegan

very, very cool and interesting. Fastest 1 and 1/2 hours since a long time, thank you very much !🌹🌹

I'm grateful for this video! Thank you.

Its a hard pill to swallow that women are only listening during the rare times we open up (without interrupting,) to hear something about themselves.

@Storebrand_

7 күн бұрын

I'm trying to hard not to become MGTOW. It seems love doesn't exist to women and they actually only experience infatuation, but nothing selfless. Strictly business. The proper man is a benevolant butler in women's eyes. So degrading.

@packattack931

6 күн бұрын

I think you misunderstand. That’s how women connect. It’s not about us it’s about the collective US. We are looking for points in conversation where we have a place to connect with. Men think more at an arms reach and woman want to step into it. I hope this clears that up some. There are so many things i do when talking to my man that he sees as selfish and i have to learn to act differently with him. But they are not problems in my female relationships. We are just different, which is why this video is so helpful 🫶

@packattack931

6 күн бұрын

I think you misunderstand. We aren’t thinking about us, we are thinking about the collective US. That’s how women connect. We are looking for a place to make a connection. Men think at an arms reach But women want to step into things. To experience with you which we can’t do if we aren’t pulling from somewhere we know.

@Storebrand_

6 күн бұрын

@@packattack931 And let me guess, to resolve this difference it's on the man to start behaving like a woman right? Because we all know by now women would die if they had to display *actual* empathy for men. 😒

its interesting to look into attachment styles, thats what a lot of this is about rather than sex differences(which do exist, yes). -15 years as a practicing therapist is where im coming from. We miss a huge part of this when we chalk it up to "all men all women". My best to you all.

@Ikr2025

7 күн бұрын

Yes - almost 100% down to attachment styles.

@theswoletariat3479

5 күн бұрын

Attachment styles are secondary. Hormones affect the mind to a far greater degree in a more reliable way. Attachment styles, on the other hand, are the result of trauma and processing - which can change a lot easier

@Ikr2025

5 күн бұрын

@@theswoletariat3479 attachment styles are very hard to change in reality.

Love this one a lot❤

This was great! Now I understand why my hubs doesn’t see the broccoli or black speck in my teeth 😂 also, not long ago, I was being extra quiet, just listening to my hubs without interrupting (been trying to follow scripture like James 1:19 etc) and he shared a ton! Went on and on. Would take breaks and thought was done but didn’t say anything, then he went back to speaking more. So this verified that. This was super helpful 👏 🙏 thank you! Will have to check out more stuff 👍

@ginaprespare1316

8 күн бұрын

That's called "active listening." We use it in counseling. It's important to stay quiet during pauses in someone's speech because they are collecting their thoughts before they continue.

I like April Cassidy's list of what men find respectful....SO life changing to my marriage. She has a blog called peacefulwife. Radically rescued my marriage.

Blown away. Forty years with my husband in a “decent” relationship and whoa I have so much to learn. After listening to the Queen’s Code audiobook, I’m hungry for more. What’s should I read/listen to next?

@user-so4bf3re6v

10 күн бұрын

The Empowered wife and things will get as good as you can stand

An interesting example of genorational dissonance. My mom says things like this too, and she has been married for 45 years... to an insufferable narcissist who refuses to change. I think maybe as the older generation begins to reflect, its hard for them to realize how much of their happiness was compromised by social standards they were indoctrinated to follow, and they start rationalizing. Like believing men just ARE a certain way and it's "queen" behavior to accommodate, bow, and change for that. I understand why some may feel happier thinking of things this way, but I'm not sure it is the life everyone wants for ourselves anymore.

@theellenfisherpodcast

6 күн бұрын

hm, this is an interesting analysis on her message, but i don't think it's what she means. I'm defnitely not receiving it as "queen behaivor to accomodate, bow and change for a man." The whole point is that if we honor our differences (in both men and women) that it will bring out the best in both of us. I know for me there are certain things if my husband does in a way I don't like, it doesnt bring out the best in me, versus when he fine tunes the way he speaks to me, for example, It brings out the best in me. Question for you, are there ways a partner treats you that is worth asking him to do differently? Do men just have to assume "this is just the way women are" and they can say they don't have to tweak their behaivor to bring out the best you? it goes both ways in my opinion. hope this helps. I think the example of your mother is not at all what Alison is saying. she is not saying, "this is just the way men are so suck it up, they are gonna be total jerks."....that's literally not at alll what she is saying. do you see that?

@katgillett0229

6 күн бұрын

@theellenfisherpodcast Thank you for your thoughtful response. I agree with you that I don't think she intended what she said to come off that way. I believe that she genuinely intends to be helpful. So does my mom. What I can't seem to communicate clearly to her is that all men and all women are not some stereotypical way that we can hack by changing ourselves. All people are different and want different things. The idea that men just can't help themselves how they are, so we should try different things because they just aren't capable is not giving men enough credit as humans. And you're right, this means accepting that if you are partnered with someone who does not respect your time or feelings, man or woman, that it probably is not the right partnership. Not everyone wants to spend their whole lives trying to change themselves or someone else, especially if it means compromising that much of who they are and more people are becoming less afraid of striking out on their own. Not saying that some don't want a more "trad" life, just that it isn't what everyone is socialized to believe they have to do anymore. Said respectfully. 🙏

@odettegibbs2238

2 күн бұрын

Absolutely. This is enculturated fawning behaviour, a cope for profoundly disempowered women who are willing to contort themselves into pretzels for a man. It’s an incredible amount of over-rationalisation, couched in terms of “consciousness”. But underneath it is unconscious lack of self worth.

@sageleaf247

16 сағат бұрын

This all is really making me think. It's difficult, when you've been traumatized, to separate what's healthy and what's not healthy in relationship dynamics. I really like this idea of honoring the facts of neuroscience and physiology, the apparent differences between male and female biology, anatomy, and traditional differences in male and female psychology. But, I also know what it's like to be controlled by a narcissistic female, and male. The line between a healthy relationship and the reality of being in and unhealthy relationship. when you do listen, but they will take advantage of your trait of willing to better yourself as a person. It's hard to find a partner that won't abuse one's willingness, and that's been difficult for me to process. So this really makes me think, because I've been looking to be strong for myself, but gentle at the same time. Knowing when to be vulnerable is key. Making sure that the people you're listening to you would do the exact same for you,, and also have your best interest at heart.

@sageleaf247

16 сағат бұрын

Also I just want to add that "male" & "female" psychology has changed so much over time, and I don't subscribe to the traditional determinations, I was trying to say that it's just a part of what we went through as a society, and now humans' brains and psychology are different But the main part of this video, seemed to me, like it was just expressing the art of being able to listen. Whether your "male" "female" "non-binary", or any preferred pronouns. At least, that's what I'M choosing to take away from this video.

Awesome, will be ordering The Queen's Code - can't wait to listen!

I loved this podcast!!! I learned so much! I will get the audiobook!!!

Interesting how she said men have 5 layers of protection against criticism and women are more "easily swayed by to slightest imperfections" yet still only women have the obligation to not with hold appreciation and speak life into him and all that...but women just have to automatically know that because he always eats the food you give him, and wear the clothes you wash fold and put away and enjoyed the basketball game you bought the tickets for him and his friend to go to...that he appreciates it because men "don't know how to/dont't like to express those emotions" that they appreciate it???... are women not suppose to expect a simple thing such as reciprocity for a completely capable ADULT MALE who is suppose to be the LEADER OF THE HOUSEHOLD"...I got having consideration for the fact that men aren't wired like women and need space for themelves...but what about that women's emotional safety? being able to protect them in a fight and give them money when they need it isn't the only type of safety women need in a relationship...the point of men needing emotional safety as well is definitely noted, but being able to give a type of love you want to receive should be acheivable...

Please read Princilla Clark's book 41 SHADES OF MEN 😭 statistically speaking

Ellen- I just want to say you are beautiful. You have such a nice way of speaking and just have natural beauty . Thanks for sharing yourself with the world- from another Ellen ❤️

My mind is blown 😂 some of these things I had been struggling with

You can see the devotion to her research in this video. It's pretty.

I have the blessing/curse of noticing every look on a woman's face. Most woman are shocked that I know near exactly what's happening with them. I now know this is very uncommon.

@wendyhuntsman176

9 күн бұрын

What's uncommon is that you care haha

@jessicahitchens6926

7 күн бұрын

You read people... congratulations. You're a woman 😃

@stephenrandall484

3 күн бұрын

@@wendyhuntsman176 Thats funny.ha..

@stephenrandall484

3 күн бұрын

@@jessicahitchens6926 Women dont read men.they write the story.

@toomuchinformation

19 сағат бұрын

Men note a look on my face and normally misinterpret it.

😮Wow! I don't know where to begin. ❤Thank you

You guys just saved my marriage! 😅 thank you for sharing

Not all men are wired for protection, that also why women are wired to perceive danger. Men can be very dangerous to women if they are the wrong men.

@iaf4454

7 күн бұрын

With all men. Men have a "relantionship" with aggression. They will do sth to you if you cant set boudaries, they dont like to restrict themselves but they will thank you if you cut their instincts off by telling no. Men need the law, they need a negative answer

@toomuchinformation

Күн бұрын

​@@iaf4454........and consequences.

The problem is when you let them tell you when they want, they never say. I’ve waited weeks before. It’s ridiculous. I’m mad about it and society doesn’t teach us how to accept and manage anger. Still enjoyed the video.

I literally thank God for this episode so much. Thank you ❤ I laughed and laughed

@theellenfisherpodcast

8 күн бұрын

awe yay im soo glad you enjoyed it!

Awesome podcast. Hope I remember this!

What if you’re the one who listens and asks questions and your husband is the one who won’t stop talking, never asks you questions, and then ends the conversation?

@spilledit

11 күн бұрын

Fart in front of him.

@philiciabernard

9 күн бұрын

She said in the podcast that you have to tell him you need a turn to be listened to

@iaf4454

8 күн бұрын

Do the same he does... stop asking just talk. That is the way you flip the script

@kerilynnae5551

5 күн бұрын

You're in an abusive relationship.

Tested & true. Let him just talk, and he would say “that’s all I have to say about that” hahahahh

@iaf4454

8 күн бұрын

Forest gump!!! 😅😅

Wow, this is so eye opening.