Bert goes back to Russia, Putin meets him and says "it would be an honor to do a shot with The Machine"

@cadenr06

3 жыл бұрын

In Russia, you do not do a shot with Machine, Machine does shot with you.

@LTJG8032

3 жыл бұрын

Stole this from the original video comment section lmao

@HD-gx8eh

3 жыл бұрын

Don't ever take a drink from Putin lol

@tunerimpala5658

3 жыл бұрын

@@LTJG8032 go cry about it somewhere else

@LTJG8032

3 жыл бұрын

@@tunerimpala5658 go act tough for no reason somewhere else

Imagine if Bert went back to Russia and was immediately met with a welcoming party by the Russian mafia for the return of the machine

@randalloshbough6850

4 жыл бұрын

They would kill him for loose lips

@padraig5335

4 жыл бұрын

@@randalloshbough6850 Ehhh doubt it. They knew it was a joke. To them it was a joke the whole time.

@northofnashira2575

4 жыл бұрын

The only mafia left in Russia is the Moscow mafia and that's lead by Putin. If you've heard the full story, Bert dealt with at least 3 separate mafia groups. The guys where they originally stayed and he introduced himself as the machine to, the guys who ran the trains, and the Moscow mafia that took him to the strip club. He's too high profile a target to kill now for what very little information he dropped about events that took place two decades ago.

@EmazingGuitar

4 жыл бұрын

Randal Loshbough he would’ve been dead already if the mod didn’t like him talking

@raymondgarcia1319

4 жыл бұрын

Parker Churchill l

That dog was so well behaved

@JnH5492

4 жыл бұрын

Took me a second 😂

@iankrom510

4 жыл бұрын

Good boy!

@slikrick5857

4 жыл бұрын

Yo chill I’m on acid and was about to stare at that dog for half an hour😂😂

@KenNaka22

4 жыл бұрын

Ben Jammin gmfu 😂💀

@zackking3469

4 жыл бұрын

@@slikrick5857 lmao

The crossover we NEEDED!!

@theprboy6118

4 жыл бұрын

NN facts

@jordanmorales679

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@wuxiagamescentral

4 жыл бұрын

Need Joe to complete the unholy trinity

@meaglebeats7116

3 жыл бұрын

Wait the story of The Machine is being made into a movie !?!?!? I definitely gotta see that

“The Machine” story would be a great Tarantino movie

@evandotterer4365

4 жыл бұрын

Syoski bro I would pay good money to see a movie about this story

@Oldsoul305

4 жыл бұрын

Syoski Tarantino doesn’t do comedy, like ever. How is a college kid that partied with the mob a Tarantino movie? His movies are dark and gloomy.

@renteryx2364

4 жыл бұрын

@@Oldsoul305 Uh. No? His movies are visually bright and *contain dark undertones*.

@terrydevlin3486

4 жыл бұрын

@@Oldsoul305 Tarantino is dark comedy as a person

@Oldsoul305

4 жыл бұрын

RenIsNotARat uh, I’m not talking visually. His movies are dark in subject matter.

Wait the story of The Machine is being made into a movie !?!?!? I definitely gotta see that

@SufferWithPride

3 жыл бұрын

National Lampoon's Van Wilder.

@urielcamacho7686

3 жыл бұрын

@@SufferWithPrideWich one of the 3 movies?

@MrChimpokomon1

3 жыл бұрын

I wonder how many interspecies relationships that they will have for burnt Chrysler

@darkapophis4906

3 жыл бұрын

@@SufferWithPride that's a common misconception, Van Wilder was based off of Bert Kriescher in general. Not specifically "The Machine" joke which is being made into a movie.

@SufferWithPride

3 жыл бұрын

@@darkapophis4906 You're absolutely right. That's what I was getting at originally. I should've cleared that up. Sorry my guy.

It's so weird they seem to be in the same room but two different climates

I wonder who’s going to play Bert since he was about 50-60 lbs skinnier.

@Typhoidlazzy

4 жыл бұрын

Segura, obviously. He not only looks similar, but he's also about 300 lbs. lighter and can do a pretty spot-on impression of Brent.

@Nika_Joy_Boy

4 жыл бұрын

Ari

@JM-350

4 жыл бұрын

Gotta get the guys who play in the Super Troopers movies and most of the Broken Lizard films. A few of em to play the Russian mobsters at the least.

@DeafKingz

4 жыл бұрын

Adam DeVine

@Dreagin64

4 жыл бұрын

Ryan Reynolds

Bert is the perfect functioning alcoholic. Sweat pants, dope kicks, expensive down jacket, and always has a great story

@SarahSkinnyJeans

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao right? Beat red, vocal fry, probably vodka in his cup hahaha

@dhdhejehuwbs843

Жыл бұрын

He is also probably going to die of a heart attack and/or liver failure before 2030

I'm so high, I thought that dog was real for the first 3 minutes 😂

@jirden

4 жыл бұрын

bruh that's a wolf lmao

@kylerbrown2574

4 жыл бұрын

It’s still a dog

@jirden

4 жыл бұрын

@@kylerbrown2574 no u

@raiseincain9335

4 жыл бұрын

I am so high that I paused it to see if I could see it breathing.

@lukelofquist3734

3 жыл бұрын

It was, dude

Only Bert could have a story that includes the line, "We robbed me."

The vid has to be 4:20 min long

@ab3040

4 жыл бұрын

💨

@spicyboi4640

4 жыл бұрын

Nice. 👌

@Immunity_ow

3 жыл бұрын

Nice

@captain_hashtag6428

3 жыл бұрын

Oh my god...

@Hanz1943

2 жыл бұрын

Puffy time

I'd like to hear where the story left off, his adventures with the cops.

@henrypo1894

3 жыл бұрын

The story didn't happen

@davidhays6286

3 жыл бұрын

You and me both Monroe

@billyboblillybob344

3 жыл бұрын

I had heard that partying with the cops was the scariest time he had in Russia since they didn't answer to anybody and pretty much did whatever they wanted. I think there are details involved that he doesn't want to reveal but it sounds like more hijinks were had...

@clevelandbci9562

3 жыл бұрын

@@billyboblillybob344 "You robbed Americans??? Welcome to Moscow. Here's your gun..."

@JHulse29

3 жыл бұрын

I heard him tell the story on my local radio station and he told more of the story. He and the cops went to a strip club in moscow, afterwards the cop tossed the keys to bert and said you drive! Bert was like I'm not driving a cop car drunk in moscow! And the cop replied "why not I am police what could happen!?" 😂😂

Bert Kreischer’s whole life story starts with Florida Man........

The crossover we didn’t know we needed

"Curry smells bad in a lap dance!" has me holding my side in pain...

Every time I learn something that wasn’t mentioned about this story in each clip about it and I genuinely can’t get enough

The machine is the greatest story I've ever heard. Can't wait for the movie!

This cross over is the fcking awesome!!! Boom Stick and The Machine!!!!

I love everything about this story. My FAVORITE PART is when Bert reminds everyone he's from Florida when he indicates he KNOWS what stinky strippers are supposed to be like.

Unless you’re a bert fan.. then you’ve this “version” 20 times lol

watch a drunk guy tell the same story for 5 years.

@2pacfan56

4 жыл бұрын

Hes also fat and racist

@mikebryant7087

4 жыл бұрын

New story

@tommyellis7728

4 жыл бұрын

@@2pacfan56 how is he racist?

@theroachden6195

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah how is he racist

@Bruinsman-rh2dc

4 жыл бұрын

Tommy Ellis it’s an inside joke he’s not racist lmao

"Who gets no touch???"

Bert's giggle brings me life!

dude definatly deserves all this machine success...his first 2 stand-ups were so funny I almost choked to death lol

I’ve heard of this 😂😂 by far my most favorite stand up comedy episode

Joe, tom, bryan, bobby, theo, chris, and joey all need to be in the movie. It would make a billion dollars

@luciferscrotum

4 жыл бұрын

Notice how ari isn’t on this list

@chris_redd2453

4 жыл бұрын

And Eddie Bravo cmon bro

@DaMazzaf97

4 жыл бұрын

Joe needs to play the don equivalent of the russian mob

@miguelbrito8460

3 жыл бұрын

Ari and Eddie have to be there too!

@kfizz21

2 жыл бұрын

@@luciferscrotum Cause Ari drugged Bert. They've distanced from him since then, even though he thought it would be just a joke.

“They had just had Indian food 😂 and I had never had Indian food! 😂. Curry! It was Curry? IT WAS CURRY!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣”

Can't wait to see this movie

2 of my favorite entertainers Bert and Pat! Love this!

For the sake of the future comedy Movie industry we all need to see this Movie...

So, whenever 2 of my favorite entertainers meet like this, SHIT! Get ready for some good story’s! Waiting for the (MACHINE) movie, Damnit!!!

Bert,lived out a real life Gta hiest. Awesome!

@content0h926

2 жыл бұрын

Igor or Sasha were the Nico Bellics

He is really starting to look like the homeless guy that lives down by minnehaha falls

@tonyolen1381

4 жыл бұрын

Yea you see him walking Hiawatha every once in awhile lol

@ShawnaGraham50

4 жыл бұрын

In a van down by the river

@fireballninja01

4 жыл бұрын

minnesota??? what

@tonyolen1381

4 жыл бұрын

@@fireballninja01 yep grew up next to minnehaha falls

@jakrispy3005

4 жыл бұрын

He really do be on the bridge contemplating suicide

This is great. I needed this

At first, I was sceptical of the story but I'm glad to hear it's 100% legit

Two of the greatest legends ever! Pat McAfee and the Machine. I am so honored and so blessed right now

Dude that dog didn't move once, such a good boy

The absolute best part of this is the fact that not only did he take their s*** in college but then they signing off on it was the jumping point to him becoming wealthy and famous, amazing

Thank you for this clip, I didn't know there was going to be a movie.

This shit is straight gold. My favorites sports show paired with my favorite comedian. These two boys together are a powerhouse!

@noshotnova2432

11 ай бұрын

Are posts like this actually real

Bert is so real and genuine. He loves his wife and she is awesome and he is a great dad, ...but boy oh boy, does he have some stories!!!!

I just watched this movie. Best comedy ever. Top 5. And I could spend hours to find a movie I haven't seen. I had to get a job when I was 14 to pay for my movie habit after my parents cut me off. I used to have a job testing movie content before it was packaged and sent to all the major airlines for inflight entertainment. I literally watched movies for 40 hours a week for 5 years. Best job ever. This movie will be a cult classic that I will watch over and over again. Great till the last line. Perfect ending.

@jamespar3064

8 ай бұрын

Lol no

I didn’t realize how much I needed this in my life. This is a dream come f***ing true

I mean, I tell my story of being raised in a religious cult in my comedy routine when I do stand up. It's a great coping mechanism, because it becomes just a story, eventually. Then, it starts to feel like something that happened to someone else, and that's why comedy is the cure for trauma. Okay, not really a cure, but a great way of dealing with it.

Tonight, you drink with us!

This story just keeps getting better!

I never knew this was gonna be made into a movie. But im SO glad about it

I wonder if they could find Igor, Igor, Igor, the police officer and the teacher too and do something similar to Meet the Walking Dead where they all talk and tell the story after the movie. That would make it perfect.

"SOOOOOO... ...I understand you're The Machine?"

Well that's the best Pat McAfee video I've ever seen. He was truly cracking up like I've never seen before. That's what Bert does to people.

He's so naturally funny!

I never thought I would see the machine and pat - Imagine if we could get bravo , Diaz , pat and The machine on the same podcast !

The Machine is hilarious. I’ve got to see this movie!

Pat....literal. Best. Guest. Ever. And low key great XFL ideas too Bert for President

Went to the show and the new material he has is killer!! And of course his old jokes are fire too.

Bert is literally the funniest guy ever! 😂 and how he laughs at his own jokes so genuine 💚

Everyone knows deep down that Pat Mcafee is the perfect person to discuss this story with.

Got to see Bert Kreischer on my anniversary in March 2022, and even then at the end of his show he did “The Machine “ bit. Gotta be honest being in East Tennessee we were all a waiting for it drinking beers the whole show but he didn’t disappoint. It was an amazing show for sure!

@JasonBiggs-ht9cp

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for the comments keep watching my movies

Bert, one of the best comics out there. Pat. One of the best heels in wrestling

it definitely happened and is totally not made up

THEYRE MAKING A MOVIE!!! HELL YEA

Movie trailer come out last week and I’m pumped!

The Machine and the Pat Man in the same room?? Can't be happier😎👌

Bert needs to go back to Russia and have a reunion with the two Igors. That would be epic.

I've heard this part before. For sure

Wish there was a longer interview of these two

Love this story

I appreciate how the clip is 4 minutes and 20 seconds... hehe

I really want one of the Russian gangsters to be played by Joe Rogan

@hawaiifiveohoh

3 жыл бұрын

Which one would he play though? Igor, Igor, or Igor? :-) probably Sasha. Nobody ever has love for Sasha

Movie released 26 may 2023.. love these guys 🐾🌄✌️🐶🇦🇺

@JasonBiggs-ht9cp

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for the comments keep watching my movies

Perfect title, it drew me in with excitement

Shout out to 4:20

That dog is so well behaved cuz he knows it's the Machine.

Look how clean the desk is!!!!!

So goin to see The Machine!!!

That Duck Hodges shirt 🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

idk about Bert's stories sometimes. He apparently had a nearly identical "touch/no touch" misunderstanding in South Africa. I believe the machine story but the guy is all over the place with some of these things. Maybe I listen to his podcast too much...

Wasnt expecting that

I can’t wait for this movie I really really hope it comes out soon

I recommend watching "Tryhard - A Bert Kreischer Documentary"

Just saw The Machine and it’s awesome! Go support so more comedies get made with your favorite comedians!🖤💛👍🤟✌️

I first heard this story on Frankenstein's Lab and had to pause the video several times to wipe away tears of laughter.

i love that the thumbnail has the video length at 4:20

I'm surprised he didnt take his shirt off for the interview lol

This movie should just be called Van Wilder 2 since it is IRL

Pat and Burnt Crysler are a perfect combo

Aggghhh! He was just about to go into detail about how they had robbed the train and he got interrupted! DOH!!! Lol!

Curry is so bad in a lap dance, LOL

@joelarms2171

4 жыл бұрын

Always bad

He told this on 2 bears 1 cave.

I listen to every podcast he’s done. So yeah I’ve heard it. Funny af too

so cant wait to see this movie!

Please make this story into a movie! And have Tarantino direct it!

the two best guys to listen to. I'd love to party with them!

My two favorite partiers in one podcast, I’ve never needed soemthing so bad

The ending made my entire life omg

True story: I visited the home of my late Great Uncle Jimmy. There was a horrific smell in the house. I thought it was his body and that I was smelling formaldehyde or some funeral preservative. Oh, this was March. Got home and was met by the same smell. I then thought of it as a dead body smell. Mom was cooking corned beef for saint Patrick’s day. So had her dad at Uncle Jimmy’s. Second smell story: asked my brother to get quills off a dead porcupine for my Native American jewelry project. Smelled awful. Months later I smell this foul odor on a classmate. Why does he smell like a dead porcupine?! It was CK for Men.

@MagicCarpetRideShareProject

Жыл бұрын

Ha, some of those colognes and perfumes can be hellish to your nose. I remember this one girl back in school who was quite gorgeous and had a crush on her, but for some reason she had on this awful scent that smelled a lot like a very funky urine adjacent smell. But she was otherwise very dolled up, fresh and clean looking. It seemed clear it wasn't a hygiene issue. Of course there is whole thing with some people make that funky smell via their urine after eating asparagus, but I believe it doesn't affect everyone. To some people cilantro tastes like soap rather than a classic and great component of many Mexican dishes and fresh salsa. Ok we've went gross back to delicious and now I need some Mexican food ; )

Time to rewatch the mob story again

"The Machine" bit is phenominal!

The movie should be hysterical