i love how the first nine episodes have very scared and/or confused witnesses who only reveal horrific details late into the episode and this episode just starts "hi im trevor, im homeless, good at guessing ages and a vampire hunter. my dad was an ass and i accidentally killed a human once, but good luck trying to press charges because im going to die"

@eliwhite6159

4 жыл бұрын

just got to the part about heroin. this is all comedy gold

@trucetruce335

3 жыл бұрын

He’s probably my favorite witness to date.

@kerlight3500

3 жыл бұрын

"Excuse me, I'm homeless, I kill vampires, I have cancer, I'm new in town"

@humanbean4037

3 жыл бұрын

Ker Light eyy john mulaney

@camiepotatopattie8754

3 жыл бұрын

Eli White I also just got to the heroin bit. This is quite a comedic horror.

Every other witness so far: Slightly afraid, almost hesitant to talk about what they’ve seen Trevor: Ayo what’s up I’m a homeless vampire killer that maybe killed some humans idk and I’ll probably die soon lmao but listen to _this_

@chimedemon

2 жыл бұрын

What up, I’m Trevor, I’m 19, and I never fucking learned how to read

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

@@chimedemon YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME-- 😂

@maskguy4014

Жыл бұрын

I'm NEW IN TOWN-

@hamburgerdog25

Жыл бұрын

_Hello. I'm homeless, I'm gay, I have AIDS, I'm new in town-_

@zomb_bree7950

8 ай бұрын

@@hamburgerdog25I can literally hear this quote 😭

Fantastic, but especially, the image of the vampire sweeping along the exact same route through every room, creating perfect paths through the dust on the floors? That's the most sublimely creepy thing I've ever heard.

@NoConsequenc3

3 жыл бұрын

machine animals

@hamburgerdog25

Жыл бұрын

Shes just standing on a roomba that only functions on those specific paths

@rabbitadventurous9441

11 ай бұрын

@@hamburgerdog25 Bahahhahha brilliant!

@hamburgerdog25

11 ай бұрын

@@rabbitadventurous9441 yeah I really wanted to be scared in this episode. But I just couldn't stop thinking about that fucking roomba lady

@Graytail

7 ай бұрын

@@hamburgerdog25 so THATS how vampires in movies seem to just glide....

LOVE this take of vampires as really _inhuman._ “animals” “it’s” NOT sexy or creepy ‘animalistic’ humans that drink blood and worry about taxes or friends or anything except food and protection. Everything in the name of self preservation.

@camiepotatopattie8754

3 жыл бұрын

Truce Truce very

@optiona3667

3 жыл бұрын

@WhomItMayConcern Yeah, its really uncomfortable. He makes it sound like the name of a creature, not a person; like this is just something that the "thing" goes by.

@galubyovo4061

2 жыл бұрын

Sexy and creepy vampires are cool af. No need to put one down to lift the other up

@maxschechter4156

2 жыл бұрын

(Spoilers) There is also irony to that in retrospect

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

@@maxschechter4156 haha, i never thought of it that way--

honestly one of the most creative takes on vampires I've ever heard

@nanahuatli2144

4 жыл бұрын

Creative... stakes? :D I'll show myself out, don't throw things at me.

@JakubWojciechowski933

3 жыл бұрын

No offense, but what's so creative in it? It's just a regular story of a guy who found a monster and killed it. I don't see many creative gimmicks here

@moth446

3 жыл бұрын

@@JakubWojciechowski933 uh well it's been a while since I've listened to this ep but from what I remember, I just really enjoyed the presentation along with the description of how the "vampire" functions n stuff

@fluffsnake

3 жыл бұрын

made me think of oversized mosquitos lol

@theartistswings9810

3 жыл бұрын

@@JakubWojciechowski933 have you ever heard of the idea of a monster- much less one as commonly known as a vampire- that never opens its mouth and convinces people its talking then uses a black hole of teeth and a mosquito like tongue to kill you? Just the idea that a human like creature has no room for a voice box with all its teeth is something chilling ive never heard of before concerning vampires. Not to mention creepy details like marking the same trails in ever room and not being able to eat solids but somehow disposing the bodies.

kinda funny how being on heroin saved him, I can't stop chuckling about the rudeness of not even wanting to eat someone because their blood isn't very au naturel clean

@frogonthebikeheh

Жыл бұрын

Or maybe they got high because of drugs in his system? They "speak" telepathically, so their brains might be more sensitive to psychoactive substances

As much as I appreciate modern day adaptions of vampires, I am always happy inside when somebody takes them away from being sexy, slick and badass, and returns them to their monstrous, animalistic origins.

@fruitygarlic3601

2 жыл бұрын

The lore has always been from a combination of hot and not folklore creatures, but the first media to piece together The Vampire™ (from Fanu, Polidori, Stoker, the early films) always intended for them to be sexy.* I like unsexy vampires but they're actually later creations. * or at least sexual. Stoker's Dracula is unattractive and not very charming, unlike his contemporary vampires inside and outside of the story. He's still meant to be a horndog though.

@damien678

2 жыл бұрын

@@fruitygarlic3601 you right, stoker's dracula was at least sexual (if ur too cowardly to see him as sexy)

@SylviaSanchez

8 ай бұрын

@@fruitygarlic3601 The thing with Bram Stoker is that you're expected to be repelled by the overly sexual nature of vampires. The sexy lady with many pursuers is the one to die & turn into a vampire. There's a strong victorian tie between disgusting animalistic and sexual.

@Badficwriter

3 ай бұрын

@@SylviaSanchez Interesting! Yeah, I like sexy vampires, but it depresses me when people insist that is the only 'correct' vampire. Man, even World of Darkness knew there were others.

I love the implication that vampires are completely separate from humans, like a different species. They have no need to breathe so they cannot talk and the hypnosis comes with the territory. More vampires do not come from feeding on humans furthering the theory and its just very interesting.

@000Krim

3 жыл бұрын

Like a mimic ant

I wonder if the guy turned into a vampire after his death. He said himself that the population was to small to reproduce. He also said they seemingly had no lungs and he died because of lung cancer. Maybe it wasn't really cancer but him turning into one of them because he got bitten.

@guilhermeevangelista5110

3 жыл бұрын

Ooooo I like that

@UnhingedArtist7

3 жыл бұрын

oooo, nice theory

@ameliahilton604

2 жыл бұрын

@May yeah all the carbon monoxide would do it

@jamesprice9139

2 жыл бұрын

Considering this comment was made over a year ago I'm sure you know Trevors fate now but couldn't help but chuckle when I saw this

@Rachel-fi4sc

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, James Price, for leaving no spoilers for the rest of us who have only just discovered this awesome series and have not yet learned what happens to Trevor.

The worlds scariest mosquito

@jezwc

3 жыл бұрын

Africa has left the chat.

@itsannahere.

2 жыл бұрын

THIS KILLED ME

@azulBjort_1406

2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@chimedemon

2 жыл бұрын

One Punch Man: :D

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

you are a horrible person and I love you for that

Dang I DON’T wanna know what that mouth do

@laquasiacherry-mack2542

3 жыл бұрын

This comment is wildly underrated 😂

@alexacox7136

3 жыл бұрын

i haven't even listened to the entire episode yet and this almost made me spit out my tea across my laptop

@PrincessX-ke8tj

3 жыл бұрын

*Sshhhhhllluuuuurrrppp*

@myrsandez5180

3 жыл бұрын

i do~

@ryanmoran8787

2 жыл бұрын

Idk if this is a BDG reference, but the overlap between the TMA fandom and the BDG fandom is astounding

Love the tonal shift from other statements being sad, creepy, and unnerving, but then here it’s “yeah, I’m the fucking vampire killer”

so many statement givers would be final girls or final guys. the guy in episode two with the haunted coffin, the guy in squirm who burned down his apartment, and now this girl trevor mentions who goes for the knife? they'd survive a horror movie for sure.

@therabidsquid432nerf9

2 жыл бұрын

That's what I like about this podcast, the people are smart enough to stave off the horror or smart enough to know when to get out of there or just burn everything in order to deal with the abominations.

@ahorribleterribleperson

2 жыл бұрын

Because horror movies rely on visuals to give scares. Visual horror can be easier to do than auditory horror, Since you can SEE the horror and it's easier to be scared, so some characters will do dumb things in order for viewers to be scared by the monster . This podcast is auditory relies on more subtle horror and the statement givers have to be alive to give the statement, so they aren't dumb.

@Yohannai

Жыл бұрын

@@ahorribleterribleperson Also, they have to have survived somehow to be able to relate their tale. If they weren't smart to _some_ degree and all we ever saw were people getting lucky then the feeling of horror wouldn't really work. We're only getting the lucky and the survivors' tales, with bits dribbled in here and there about the unlucky or those who could do nothing to overcome it vanishing. I'm a new listener so, I can only assume this is going to be the general trend. It makes for interesting characters though! There's something very appealing about horror that can be survived, at least for a time.

Previous witnesses: I honestly still don't know what to think, except that I'm still scared of what happened "Trevor the Tramp" Hebert: so yeah I'm basically Dean Winchester but real

Hotel transylvania quote here: Johnny: "I gotta ask, is it true, the garlic thing?" Dracula: "Yes, I cannot have that, my throat swells." Johnny: "Oh, stake to the heart?" Dracula: "Yeah, well, who WOULDN'T that kill?"

“How did you survive your second vampire attack Trevor ?” “Heroin”

Is a stake to the heart really a vampiric weakness? Seems like everything is weak to that...

@TransilvanianHunger1334

4 жыл бұрын

I would imagine even humans are weak against a stake to the heart

@starsixseven9259

4 жыл бұрын

@@TransilvanianHunger1334 Nah dude, we're immune to all woods except the white aspen Fear the White Aspen

@Somajsibere

4 жыл бұрын

Personally I always thought that a stake to the heart is a good way of killing every creature with high regenerative abilities , since the stake would prevent the heart from beating, which would result in blood not flowing and would result in the death of the vampire's cells which should kill the vampire

@AlteredNova04

4 жыл бұрын

Humans have a ribcage that makes it difficult to reach the heart with a wooden stake, so no we we really aren't especially vulnerable to such a specific method of execution.

@waxingmoon2726

3 жыл бұрын

cant you only really kill a vampire with yew wood?

I was listening to these episodes in a playlist; I couldn't see the episode title, so when the first meaningful sentence was "I kill vampires" a surprised laugh burst outa my mouth. Its just that every other entry was about something unusual or unheard of, and so when this guy, with a professional certainty, announced that he killed your garden variety vampire it... Well. I laughed. Lets see if they were ACTUALLY vampires.

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

so, watcha think?

@samtigerlilly1003

2 жыл бұрын

@@aubarlowe bro this was 2 years ago, idk. musta been lukewarm about it

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

@@samtigerlilly1003 *oope--* I didn't notice that--

@Deactivatedsorry

2 жыл бұрын

@@aubarlowe sheeeeeeeeesh

@SomeGuyH3re

Ай бұрын

2 more years later. Any idea whether they were vampires now?

guess vampires arent sexy anymore :(

@leonardhollsten8145

4 жыл бұрын

Good. They should be creppy.

@johnpears9558

4 жыл бұрын

Leonard Hollsten Yeah I was kinda wondering how they ended up being portrayed as sexy.

@ghostmchaunted604

4 жыл бұрын

Only if you're a coward

@mattwilliamson9043

4 жыл бұрын

Ghost McHaunted god you’re so right. i’m gonna go fuck a vampire

@yeetusdeletus84

4 жыл бұрын

Only if you're a pussy

I love the way he feels like he is a celebrity

In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is Trevor.

The mental image of Trevor stabbing Silvia was soooooo disgusting

@camiepotatopattie8754

3 жыл бұрын

Hannah Cartwright I know right

@Josuh

Жыл бұрын

just one giant blood filled pimple

@frogonthebikeheh

Жыл бұрын

@@Josuh omg 🤣🤣🤣

wow, this was such a fun one. trevor's another statement giver with a really clear, authentic voice to his story. he seems to have a lot more understanding about what he's encountered than a lot of the other statement givers so far, but that probably comes down to having and surviving repeat encounters enough times to start building hypotheses around. i love me a gross vampire, and the ones described here certainly fit the bill. the distended bellies after feeding make me think of the bloodsucking beasts in bloodborne. i really enjoyed his musings on how such creatures could navigate human society without being noticed. sad to hear he died. i get the narrator not wanting to concede credibility to a story about vampires, but when you've got unidentifiable 'shark' teeth to go along with it you must at least wonder.

@damionsmith3219

3 жыл бұрын

The statement of the big belly filled with blood reminds me of the Bloodsucking Beast that was on the left of the entrance to Cainhurst castle that couldn’t attack you because it was so full

@mona-ex1yu

Жыл бұрын

As soon as they mentioned the bellies I *immediately* thought of Bloodborne!

Welp, this confirms it to me that either the old archivist or the organization itself is corrupt, they were infiltrated or the archivist is a victim. This would put the current archivist in danger, which is a logical place to take the story.

@RoseMultiverse

4 жыл бұрын

Fernando Giubilei just got to that part.. interesting yeah 👀👀👀

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

why not all of the above!?

@blackguythompson

Жыл бұрын

Can you explain how this story in particular led you to that conclusion?

I'm a new listener, just been binging this all today and a sudden thought struck me while listening to this episode- The fact that the Vampire Hunter says he's going to be leaving behind their teeth made me think back to episode 5, with the garbage men who collected weird trash + that one garbage back full of teeth But right as the thought that what they could've been dealing with was a vampire, it also hit me that they were completely normal teeth lol. Idk, I considered it for a moment though. I'm desperately trying to find connections and piece things together throughout each episode but I feel like things aren't going to fall into place for me that easily. Feel free to disregard this random thought, love the series so far though!

@bonniecornelius3836

4 жыл бұрын

Render TownHub what if the vampire hunter and the woman were the old couple?? and the teeth were the vampire teeth like you said?? (even though he has lung cancer he still must be pretty old anyway) edit: oh nvm he died (i was typing this while listening)

@bonniecornelius3836

4 жыл бұрын

Render TownHub OOH!!! also what if the "anglerfish" mondter thing at the first episode was some kind of vampire??

@jezwc

3 жыл бұрын

What about the coffin episode -was that package a vampire inside the coffin that the victim would let out?

@damionsmith3219

3 жыл бұрын

@@jezwc I don’t think it was a vampire because Trever said that they have no lungs and make no noise, while the creature in the coffin moaned in the rain

@jezwc

3 жыл бұрын

@@damionsmith3219 good point I completely agree 😅

I love this guy bc everyone else is “oh my god weird aaaaaa” he’s just here like “yeah so I’m boutta dip but i thought id be useful”

As it's stomach started to- HOW GREAT IS IT THAT WE GET TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT LIBERTY HEALTH INSURANCE!!!! Me: COME ON MAN, SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THE GRUESOME MURDER!

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

hey, they should've had Liberty Health Insurance. Give their families some compensation, smh.

The wiki doesnt say anything about it but are the name "trevor" and "vampire killer" a castlevania ref? If not then its just a huge coincidence lmao

@GameBooAdvanced

4 жыл бұрын

There's no way its not

@kittentoys2051

4 жыл бұрын

That was my instant thought too!

@curechiancamelia8704

3 жыл бұрын

That sounds like a connection but I don't think so

@MurrmorMeerkat

2 жыл бұрын

castlevania fans when they see the word vampire

@Carolina57685

2 жыл бұрын

@@MurrmorMeerkat it literally has the same name as one of the protagonists and the same name of his weapon...its not a reach and its not the same as just seeing the word vampire

the castlevania reference..Vampire Killer, dude's name is trevor, sypha/sylvia, alard/alucard. love that for us

@odothedoll2657

2 жыл бұрын

SEE I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO POINT IT OUT! Faith in humanity restored by .01%

Vampire, biting his neck and tasting his blood: why is it spicy

HELP HE WAS SO FUNNT “wassup i’m homeless, my names trevor and i’m a vampire hunter. might’ve killed some humans but idk 🙏 good luck pressing chargers cause i’m going to die soon. of lung cancer.” theory: trevor is probably going to turn into some kind of entity/vampire or be mentioned again? “vampires don’t have lungs”- trevor died of lung cancer, maybe he was just turning into a vampire??

Do drugs, keep safe from vampires!

This explains why a vampire always waits to be invited into a house, since they can’t really ask to come in without using that telepathy mind control thingy (which wouldn’t count?)

@marymills3581

2 жыл бұрын

oooo very interesting point

So what did we learn today? Heroine can safe your life!

@jadedragon7463

4 ай бұрын

remember kids: don't do school and stay in drugs!

It's so cute that Julia and Trevor's introductions are right next to each other.

@azcdtixs

26 күн бұрын

✨️FORESHADOWING✨️

GUYS THIS IS WHAT THE ANGLERFISH IS FROM THE FIRST EPISODE! It’s a Vampire! It’s doesn’t talks, it floats, and it mesmerizes people!

@Demonstormlord

3 жыл бұрын

Without wanting to spoil to much, the Anglerfish and these creatures are not the same.

@getrekt791

2 жыл бұрын

@@Demonstormlord FUCK

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

@@getrekt791 hey, it was a nice try of OP's, though. Gets the brain a-workin ;3

The first vampire go 💖🌌slorp🌌💖

@plxnetastro

3 жыл бұрын

I FUCKING CRIED DKKDJDHSK

@camiepotatopattie8754

3 жыл бұрын

Mina Ashido I’m wheezing

This is the most original take on vampires I've encountered in some time.

On top of the statement theres this weird bag of shark teeth that don't match any known shark. Still no idea where the vampire teeth could possibly be though, must be lost - Jon

I love that julia's and trevor's statements are back to back

this was one of the best so far - there seemed to be a real conclusion rather than an open ended third act. Well done!

@GiubileiFernando

4 жыл бұрын

And for the first time it's something different from the previous monsters, at least it seems to be.

*SPOILERS* This is the nth time I've watched this, but I just realized Julia's and Trevor's statements are right next to each other.... talk about foreshadowing

@SylviaSanchez

8 ай бұрын

I'm sorry for being this slow but... what is the connection?

@margaretbruhn4376

7 ай бұрын

@@SylviaSanchez They're buddies later on on the podcast.

There is an eccentric homeless guy that lived around Venice Beach California, he doesn't slay vampires, but he wears a colorful trench coat, he rides around on rollerblades and plays a guitar and he plays very well. He is a fun character to meet. I saw him once and he rolled up, played an epic guitar solo and rolled away. It was neat.

ARCHIVIST Statement of Trevor Herbert, regarding his life as a self-proclaimed vampire hunter. Original statement given July 10th, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins. ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT) Right then. Been almost 50 years I’ve been meaning to pay you people a visit and get this down on paper, but I finally got here. So where to start? My name is Trevor Herbert, like I put at the top of your form there, and I’ve been homeless for most of my life. In fact, if you lived in Manchester, there’s a good chance you’d have heard of me. They call me “Trevor the Tramp”. I mean, I’m not exactly easy to miss, am I, and I’ve been living there in public view for so long I guess I’ve become kind of an institution. Helps that I’ve always had a kind of uncanny knack for guessing people’s ages. People will come up to me on the street and ask me to guess their age, and I’ll tell them and most of the time they’ll be shocked when I get it right. It’s fun. So everyone around Manchester knows about Trevor the Tramp, sure. I hear someone even made me a page on the Internet and it got a few thousand likes. I don’t know exactly what that means but it sounds nice. Obviously that’s not why I’m here, though, is it? No, I’m here because I have also dedicated my life to finding and killing vampires. I have killed five people that I know for sure as vampires, and there are two more that may or may not have been. There is one man I have killed, unfortunately, who I am now sure was human, but I also know he was a violent criminal so I try not to feel too badly about that. I’m sure it’s hard to accept for anyone, even an organisation such as yourselves, but I do not have proof to give you except for the vampire teeth that I will leave with this statement. Do not feel bad about reporting me to the police for the murders, as I am sure you must, since I have recently received a diagnosis of late-stage lung cancer, and it is doubtful I will be living much longer anyway. That is the main reason for finally putting down on paper the details of the mission I have been secretly undertaking for the last half a century. I killed my first vampire in 1959. At that point I was still living a mostly normal life, save perhaps for the abuse my family was subject to from my father. He was a vile man who ended up killing my mother in ‘56. It was a clear-cut case of drunken murder, but the courts ruled it as an accident, and my father stayed out of jail. Luckily, myself and my brother only had to endure four months of unpleasantness from him before he finally finished drinking himself to death. I was thirteen, when he finally died, and my brother was fifteen. Following his death, there were several attempts to rehome us as orphans, but they always split us up, and we couldn’t be doing with that, so we’d generally run away. After a while, it became so we were happier finding our way on the streets than in another stranger’s home. It was in autumn of 1959 that we were taken in by Sylvia McDonald. It wasn’t any sort of official fostering agreement, but it was getting to be quite cold at the end of October, and it just saw us shivering in a side street next to the Kings Arms Hotel, as it was back then, on Tipping Street before the ring road took it over. Looking back, I believe it to have been visiting the pub for the purposes of locating down and outs for use as victims, and in my brother and myself, I must say, it successfully found some. It looked like an older woman, a widow I assumed, from the way it dressed in black and had a strange manner, which I now know to be the mark of the vampire, but back then I paid no attention to it. Many of the older folks had lived through both wars, and it was not uncommon for them to be somewhat strange. I thought this was the case with Sylvia McDonald, and after a small amount of discussion, my brother and I agreed to the offer of food and shelter. Let me say a little bit about the vampire’s manner, because once I taught myself to read, I read as much on the subject as I could, and it isn’t covered often or clearly in those books I have found. You see, from my own observations, I believe a vampire to be more like an animal than a man. That is not to be taken as merely a turn of phrase, but more to do with how they work. I do not believe vampires are human in anything more than their appearance, nor have I ever seen evidence that they create more of their kind through feeding. One thing that should be noted is that they do not speak. In fact, they are in my experience totally silent, having no need for air and no room in their throats for a windpipe. They are able to make themselves understood, however, with absolute clarity, though the manner through which they do so has never been clear to me. When Sylvia McDonald came to us in the alleyway that day, we understood that was the name it gave itself and that we were being offered a meal and a bed, even though it never uttered a single sound. More than that, I do not recall the fact that it never said a word as striking either of us as strange in the slightest. I have never fully understood how they are able to do this, and I doubt that I ever shall, but I can only assume it to be some instinctive form of hypnosis or mind control. Another misconception I have always faced when trying to discuss vampires is that people think they cannot go out during the day. They can. While I have witnessed them avoid direct sunlight if possible, and wear generally more covering clothes when moving around during the daytime, they seem to have no significant problem doing so. I would describe them as weaker during the day, but whether this is scientifically due to the sunlight, or simply because evil has less power in the daylight hours is unclear to me. Sylvia McDonald came to us on an overcast afternoon, and enough of its pale flesh was uncovered that, were sunlight to truly harm a vampire, then it would likely have been destroyed. On that afternoon, my brother Nigel and I agreed to go back to the house of Sylvia McDonald in the hopes of a roof over our heads for a little while. She lived on Loom Street, which is still there, though the house itself was torn down long ago, and there’s just a bit of scrubland now where it used to be. I sometimes go there to pay my respects, since my brother has no burial or grave I can visit. The house was old, even when I went there in 1959, and entering it I was hit by a stale, coppery smell that I did not recognise as old blood at the time, since I was barely 16 and did not have then the experience I have now. The furniture and wallpaper had clearly not been changed in many decades, and a thick layer of dust covered everything. Even the floor was pale with dust, except for a stark line where Sylvia McDonald moved, the train of its dress dragging behind it. I remember wondering whether Sylvia McDonald walked exactly the same route through the house always, as I saw other clear lines of passage in the rooms we passed through. None of the furniture looked used, and when I picked up a book from one of the shelves, the pages were solid with damp and mould. I began to feel very uneasy at this point, but whatever powers of persuasion the vampire had calmed me enough to continue following it with my brother. We went up the stairs, and I was led to a small room with a bed in it. I was made to understand that this would be my room, and was left there as Sylvia McDonald led my brother away to the room next to it. When it returned, it brought a bowl of fruit and offered it to me. The fruit was clearly a few weeks old, and in various stages of rotting, but just to appease the thing I found an apple and a couple of grapes that seemed edible and I ate them. It watched me silently the whole time, and then turned and walked out towards Nigel’s room. By this time, whatever the creature had done to make me compliant seemed to be starting to wear off, and I was realising just how wrong everything was. I was also realising that it didn’t look like there was any easy escape from the house. All the windows I had seen were barred, and I recalled Sylvia McDonald had locked the sturdy-looking front door behind it after we had all entered. So instead, I just laid down in the old musty bed and I waited.

@petraivan6778

3 жыл бұрын

Couldn’t rightly say what I was waiting for, but soon enough it got dark, and I assumed Sylvia McDonald had gone to sleep, not yet realising the manner of being that I was dealing with. I wanted some light to comfort me, but the old house seemed to have no electricity at all, so I used my cigarette lighter on a candle I found next to the bed and crept towards the door. It wasn’t locked, thankfully, and I left the room assigned to me and walked over to where I believed my brother was. I went in and found him lying in his own bed, pretending to sleep. After a bit of talk, it became clear that Nigel was no happier with our situation than I was, and we both resolved that another night on the cold streets was better than staying with this strange woman. As we talked through possible ways to escape, however, we heard a rustling sound outside the door, and the handle began to turn. Not wanting to anger our strange host, I crawled under the bed to hide, while Nigel returned to pretending to sleep. From my vantage point under the bed, I could see the door open, and the skirt of Sylvia McDonald enter and move towards the bed. I simply laid there and tried not to make a sound. I am not proud of this, and sometimes have a certainty that my inaction led directly to my brother’s death, but most of the time I accept that, if I had alerted the vampire to my presence, then I would also have died. Either way, the fact of the matter is that I did nothing as I heard the sounds of a struggle overhead, and Nigel’s strangled cry. The creature turned quickly and hurled him down, something fell to the floor in front of me, but I didn’t look at it, my eyes locked on Sylvia McDonald as it pounced upon my brother. It opened its mouth for what I then realised was the first time since we met it, and I could see nothing inside save for a dozen long, thick, pointed teeth like a shark. In one fluid movement, it plunged those teeth into my brother’s neck and tore out a great chunk of flesh. Blood started to spurt from Nigel’s spasming body, as Sylvia McDonald’s throat began to twitch. Its jaw detached and a long tubular tongue about the thickness of my forearm snaked out of its throat and clamped onto the gushing wound. There was an awful slurping sound, the first noise I’d ever really heard the creature make, as the tongue sucked the blood from my brother’s throat. I just lay there watching as its stomach began to distend and swell, the now bulbous belly straining against the black dress it wore. After the longest ten minutes of my life, the vampire finished. Its tongue retracted back into its throat, still dripping blood onto the now-pale corpse of my brother, and it lay back upon the floor, apparently contented. As this had been happening all my energy had gone towards not screaming or giving away my presence. But as the vampire lay satiated on the floor, I turned my attention to what had fallen from Nigel’s hand when he had been dragged out of the bed. It was his pocket knife. I had no idea what a small knife like that would do against a creature that seemed far stronger and faster than me, but I didn’t see any option other than to try. I moved so slowly as I reached for the knife that at times it seemed like I wasn’t moving at all. I was worried that the creature would spot me and strike as it had with Nigel, although I now know that smell is in fact the vampire’s major sense and, with all the blood around, there was little chance of it detecting my scent. Grasping the knife in my hands, I crept over towards the creature as it placidly digested my brother’s life, until I stood over it. I felt a sudden surge of rage and adrenaline come over me and with a speed and strength I never knew I had, I plunged the knife into Sylvia McDonald’s blood-bloated stomach. It burst like a sick balloon, and blood began to pour out. The creature’s eyes shot open and it clutched at the wound desperately. Its throat was not capable of uttering a scream but its face displayed a silent pain and anger as it flailed on the floor. Stumbling back, trying to wipe the blood from my eyes, I felt an unexpected burning in my hand. I realised I’d touched the still-lit candle on the bedside table. I don’t know what I expected to happen when I grabbed the candle and pressed it to the dry part of Sylvia McDonald’s dress. I was just trying to find anything else I could do to harm it before it could recover from its split belly. But I certainly didn’t expect it to catch like dry tinder. The fire spread quickly over its repulsive form, though it did slow somewhat where the clothing or flesh was still moist with blood. It struck me that the vampire must be a very dry creature when not fresh-fed and engorged. Perhaps I had struck before the liquid could spread throughout its body. Whatever the reason, Sylvia McDonald was alight, and to such a degree that the rest of the room was starting to catch fire as well. I was distraught at the idea of leaving this house without my brother, but he was clearly dead, and I needed to escape. I recalled the vampire had been carrying a handbag when we first met it, and had used a key from it to lock the front door. It did not have the handbag with it now, though, so I began to desperately search the other rooms of the house, trying to find it. I did find it in the end, in what I assume to be the vampire’s bedroom. I’ll not describe it in detail, except to say that it appears to be where the creature took most of its meals. Hopefully that makes the picture clear enough for you. I found the key, though, and escaped that house before the fire did me any serious damage. I was terrified of the police coming and thinking I was a murderer, so I didn’t stick around. I just fled into the night. It was almost a decade before I encountered another vampire. I’d been living on the streets all that time, occasionally in and out of various institutions, and had just about managed to convince myself that Sylvia McDonald had just been a bad reaction to the stress of watching my brother’s murder. It was in the late 60s that I learned different. It was 1968, I remember because that was the year United won the European Cup, and I did quite well out of it - people being generous to begging when they’re happy over a sports win. On a Friday night, I would generally spend my time around the Oasis Club in Lloyd Street, and hit up for change anyone who was slightly the worse for drink. Well, this night in particular I was doing quite well, as it was a warm June evening not too long after the Cup Final, and everyone was in a good mood. Now, about half eleven that night, I spied a stranger all turned out for dancing, making his way from the club with a lady friend. I reckoned they might be good for a tanner, so I made my approach. I gave them the spiel and waited. The man looked at me and I understood he wouldn’t be giving me any money, and I stepped away. It was as he turned to leave I realised that he hadn’t opened his mouth, and memories of Sylvia McDonald came rushing back to me in a flash. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I followed behind them at a distance. I didn’t try to hide or disguise myself, as I had long since learned, and it’s true now as it was back then, that no-one pays any real attention to a tramp. As I watched, I saw the clearly drunken woman asking this stranger questions, and each time he’d just look at her, and she’d smile as though he’d given some reassuring answer, and stumble on behind him. All the while he never once opened his mouth. I didn’t rightly know what to do about this. I had no weapon save my brother’s old pocket knife which I had kept sharp all these years, and while I was pretty sure of what I was seeing, I was still hesitant to attack with no provocation and no plan. As we walked, I kept an eye out for any discarded wood or timber and, sure enough, noticed a broken wooden palette partially sticking out of a bin. I grabbed a long shard and used my knife to quickly hack it to a point, ignoring the splinters. While I had not, at that time, done much research into the creatures I faced, believing as I did my experience as a youth to be the product of a disturbed mental state, I was still aware of their supposed weakness to wooden stakes. I had now followed the vampire, who I would later find out called itself Robert Arden, and its victim back to the building where it apparently lived. It let itself in the front door and the woman followed. I wasn’t fast enough to get in before the front door closed and obviously didn’t have a key, so I went round the windows and, luckily, it seemed the vampire lived on the ground floor. I watched through the window as it led its victim into a sparsely-furnished living room. I couldn’t see any obvious signs of previous slaughter, but I remembered how cleanly Sylvia McDonald had sucked up all the blood from my brother, so this did not strike me as odd. I gently tried the window, and found it locked, so searched the garden for the heaviest stone I could find, and watched what was happening inside. I had to be sure. Soon enough, Robert Arden moved smoothly behind its now-seated prey, and finally opened its mouth to reveal those rows of shark-like teeth I knew would be there. I hurled the rock I held through the window, showering the room with broken glass, and causing the woman to scream in shock. Robert Arden raised its head in surprise and for one moment our eyes locked and I knew I had made a terrible mistake. The woman looked at her monstrous companion and, seeing his now open mouth, screamed her terror even louder.

@petraivan6778

3 жыл бұрын

In a single movement, far quicker than I expected, Robert Arden was through the window and on me. I struggled and fought, but it was far stronger than I was, and I could barely keep its jagged teeth from finding my throat. It was the first and last time I ever touched a vampire’s skin with my own. The flesh was cold and spongy, like the inside of a bruised apple, and I felt bile rise in my throat even as I fought for my life. Finally, its teeth bit into my neck. Not enough to kill me outright but with enough force to cause the blood to flow. At that moment I saw a sort of frenzy enter the eyes of Robert Arden and with a spasm its leech’s tongue surged from its throat and I felt it attach to my neck. I do not know if you’ve ever felt your blood being sucked out of you, but I would not recommend it. Now it is at this point I have something of an admission to make. For the three years preceding this event, as well as on and off through the years since, I have had a relationship with the drug heroin. I tried it for the first time shortly after Nigel’s death and since then I have periodically relapsed. I have always tried to keep this a secret, as I am aware that I have a certain reputation to uphold and I would not want it to be damaged with the revealing of my addiction. But it is important to this account, as I believe it was whatever heroin still remained in my system that night that caused the vampire Robert Arden to remove its tongue from my neck and start to shake, as though having a violent choking fit. I lay there, trying to compose myself enough to fight back, when I became aware of the screaming. The woman, who had been brought in as a victim, was standing over the flailing Robert Arden, stabbing it repeatedly with a kitchen knife. Strong and quick as it was, the vampire didn’t seem to be able to cope with the sudden onslaught of violence, and was on the ground. This gave me the precious seconds I needed to get to my feet and locate my improvised wooden stake. I took aim, and plunged it into where I believed the thing’s heart should be. It was easier than I thought it would be - the chest was soft and yielding and there didn’t seem to be any ribcage to stop the blow. Robert Arden went rigid and froze, apparently unable to move its body, though I saw its eyes darting around wildly. It was at that point the woman, whose name I never discovered, dropped the knife and ran. I never saw her again, but she had already saved my life. I took out my cigarette lighter and set Robert Arden alight. Like Sylvia McDonald before it, it caught fire in a matter of seconds and, by the time the police arrived, there was nothing left but a small patch of scorched tarmac. I was lucky that night, and nobody saw anything or called the police before I was finished and had made my way from the scene, but I was always more careful after that. Following that night, though, I was never again worried that I might have been wrong about the existence of vampires. I always kept my eyes open for them, although sometimes I was too eager, as was the case of Alard Dupont, who I killed in 1982, and later discovered was a human. It is my belief that they are very rare, and feed only infrequently, as all evidence I have seen points to their feeding being fatal. If there were many vampires, or if they ate often, the number of disappearances would quickly become noticeable to the rest of society. I do not know what they do with the bodies of their victims, and this has always perplexed me, as they do not have any mechanism for eating solid food, and I do not believe there are many, if any, cases of murder where the body is found completely without blood. I certainly do not think they rise as vampires themselves, as the vampire population seems far too small for this to be a possibility. ARCHIVIST Statement ends. According to Martin, who was here when they took this statement, it was at this point in writing that Mr. Herbert announced he needed some sleep before continuing. He was shown to the break room where he went to sleep on the couch. He did not awaken; unfortunately succumbing to the lung cancer right there. Martin says the staff had been aware of how serious Mr. Herbert’s condition was, and had advised him to seek medical aid prior to giving his statement, but were told rather bluntly by the old man that he would not wait another second to state his case. I can’t decide whether this lends more or less credibility to his tale. Regardless, there is substantial evidence to support the version of events told by Mr. Herbert in all aspects except the vampirism. There is a news report of a 1959 fire that consumed a house on Loom Street and apparently claimed the life of an 18-year-old boy, although no mention is made of the homeowner. And a police report from 1968 confirms the disappearance of Robert Arden in Manchester amid circumstances of violence, including a broken window and signs of a fire, though no human remains were found. There is also a murder report concerning one Alard Dupont, whose partially-burned corpse was found in his home on August 2nd, 1982. Unfortunately, Mr. Herbert was never able to give details of others, so we cannot corroborate further. There was, however, a small bag left on top of this statement, which appears to contain six shark teeth of varying sizes. According to correspondence with the Zoology Department at King’s College, they didn’t match any currently known species. Personally, I don’t know what to think. I certainly don’t believe in wild tales of vampirism, but I can’t help but notice that the statement above appears to be a photocopy of a photocopy, and can’t find these supposed vampire teeth anywhere in the Archives or the Secure Containment Room. I don’t know where the originals are, but the file number is listed among multiple information requests from the Institute’s government and law enforcement contracts. It may be that they take Mr. Herbert’s statement far more seriously than I do. End recording.

@beestorm7609

3 жыл бұрын

Petra Iván you are great. 👍

@petraivan6778

3 жыл бұрын

@@beestorm7609 ☺ thanks!

@livepoultryfreshkilled

3 жыл бұрын

i have audio processing disorder and you are my savior! thank you so much for this!

The detail of calling all of the vampires by "it"

*trevor Belmont noises intensify*

I love how the true hero of the story is Heroin

Got HUGE pennywise vibes from that first vampire... The image of the thing biting the poor kid's throat open is horrible LMAO. I feel so bad for him.

Listened to this while staring off into the dark alone in my room, I guess my wild imagination + sleep deprivation + adrenaline from the story is not a good combination because I glanced at the tall mirror in the corner of my room and saw a face of a pale lady smiling at me and I immedietely turned on the lights and it was just the reflection of my weird hat with a veil playing tricks on me, didn't make me any less scared, I currently have a towel over my mirror and the light in the corner of my room on. 👁👄👁

DUDE. my guy just fucking produced TEETH and ur like "eh probs not real idfk lmao" like *W H A T*

@emilybarclay8831

Жыл бұрын

Idk if you got further with the series but there’s a _reason_

"Du Pointe" gives me Interview with the Vampire flashbacks

as soon as the guy mentioned heroin i was fully expecting jon to start his usual spiel towards the end lmao

Wait so the dude’s name is Trevor, the guy is homeless and hunts vampires, the episode is titled “Vampire Killer”... Did this come out around the same time as Netflix’s Castlevania? If so this is a cool ass nod

@jackgillespie4594

4 жыл бұрын

Trevor was introduced in Castlevania 3 for the NES in the late 80s/early 90s

@cho-ws4bf

4 жыл бұрын

Jack Gillespie Yeah I know but he didn’t have the same hobo energy in the games

@kas8ia

3 жыл бұрын

@@cho-ws4bf meh

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

@@jackgillespie4594 is that your actual last name? Because, if so-- man. Must really hurt knowing what happened to Joshua, ey?

Why did I get a lung cancer ad after Trevor mentioned his lung cancer

@malechex611

2 жыл бұрын

dang you can buy anything on amazon nowadays

Man, the way these vampires are described immediately made me think of the Bloodlickers from Bloodborne. Which makes it even more terrifying. Long tongue, stomach swelling with blood like a tick when it feeds, and the explosion of blood upon piercing the stomach, human-like but not human

@TheIrishWanderer2166

10 ай бұрын

That's what I thought of to, I hunt those things on the regular in bloodborne, and let me tell you they are STRONG, if you ever decide to fight them, DO NOT let them get behind you and DO NOT try to fight more than one at a time, bastards are surprisingly fast for how frail they look.

Man, I wanna meet this Martin guy!

@christa.mp4

Жыл бұрын

so real

Man I would love to hear a continuation of most of these stories but especially this one. Vampires have always been fascinating to me and the matter of fact way this is told is so fun and interesting

Trevor got to be one of my favorite people in this story so far

At 7:34 you can catch Alexander Newall dubbing over Johnathan Simms's voice on the line "I remember wondering".

In the middle of this a freaking jolly rancher as popped up and it was just a god awful crunch in my ear. Scared the crap out of me

@someoneawesome8717

3 жыл бұрын

Is that better or worse than a mattress commercial with a cranky bear?

"Has no need for air" "Hunts by scent."

@lian6222

3 жыл бұрын

Lol, I suppose it can still smell things but it does't need to breathe?

@Handles-Are-A-Stupid-Idea

3 жыл бұрын

@@lian6222 this is impossible. In order to smell you need to pull air into your lungs to pass by the olfactory areas. If you can't breathe you can't smell. The story specifies that they *can't breathe* not that they don't have to. My immersion is ruined.

@nemnyoom

3 жыл бұрын

@@Handles-Are-A-Stupid-Idea it's a vampire. the whole internal sensory organs might be completely different. like, they'd pick up chemicals in the air that we'd process as smell, but they'd understand it in a completely different way. maybe they don't need to breathe, but still have organs that can do so source: i have spent way too much time considering all the different ways aliens could have evolved

@Handles-Are-A-Stupid-Idea

3 жыл бұрын

@@nemnyoom but the story specifically says it's not a matter of "don't have to" but a matter of "they don't." I will grant you that as vampires are not or were not once human in this setting, they very well could have something else that functions similarly, but i think i'd rather chalk it up as either the narrator misspeaking or a typo. Listening back on it, the way it's phrased makes it seem like "doesn't hunt by scent" would make more sense contextually speaking, and that maybe it was just a stumbling of the tongue.

@nemnyoom

3 жыл бұрын

@@Handles-Are-A-Stupid-Idea ah, the incredible flexibility of unreliable narrators

Can anyone, please, explain why all these people don't know how blood smells? This guy was 16 and was living on the streets, for goodness sake! I'm living in a normal family in a normal house in a normal area and could recognise this smell since I was ten!

I LOVE this rendition of Vampires.

If he can tell that the first one took most of their victims to their bedroom, then I'm confused about the statement about him not knowing what they do with the bodies. In the bedroom, there wouldn't have been any blood since the vampires drain it all and there wouldn't have been signs of struggle since the vampires are extremely quick moving. The only other thing I can think of that would lead him to believe that the bedroom is where the first one took the victims is the amount of bodies that he saw. Anyone with theories to fill this little plot hole?

@gwendolynphillips4187

3 жыл бұрын

He implys he saw the multiple bodies of the victims in the bedroom of the first vampire , I'm assuming a majority were either led there or they went there and were attacked. The second vampire he discribes led the girl into his living room, Trevor couldnt see any signs that there were bodies around in there which is why he stayed to make sure he was right

@gwendolynphillips4187

3 жыл бұрын

Basically his confusion as to what they did with the bodies is that aside from sucking the blood from them, the vampires have no need for the bodies as they cant eat solid food apperently so that and the fact that the first one was extremely old it could be inplied that he meant he didnt know why they kept the bodies around

This dude sounds crazy. can't wait till that turns round

NOVEMBER A G A I N

This is the most interesting, disgusting, and unique take on vampires I have ever had the honour of hearing about. Well done!!! 😄

fucking f at 1:52 where you can hear a facebook messenger ping, otherwise im loving this series so far lmao

I go into this and cannot help but think that the title "Vampire Killer" and the name "Trevor" for its witness were extremely deliberate castlevania references

I love takes on the vampire mythos. It's great.

Not my favorite but I definitely like the twist on vampires. Made me think of an overgrown leech with the tongue and body squishiness. Reminded me on the cool take on vampirism by Darkest Dungeon.

Coming back from season 2 to listen to this because apparently I slept through this one too!! When will I learn!!

"it received around a thousand likes and I don't know what that means but it sounds nice" oh trever also I completely forgot this the first time listening but I wonder why the statement was photocopied twice. If someone wanted to hide the evidence all they needed to do was get rid of the teeth which they did but why photocopy it twice? If its for the authorities surely you'd give the photocopies to them and I doubt Gertrude or Elias would make that mistake

Wait wait long shark like teeth? Like one of the earlier entry? Hold up

8:16 not paying much attention but at this point it just sounds like the vampire is trying really hard to be hospitable to her guests. Also I imagine really goofy music playing in the background at all times while this vampire lady just roomba zooms around the manor. I hope this never gets scary and its just Rosie trying to be a really good host while the brothers try to be really polite guests

@SylviaSanchez

8 ай бұрын

The image of a vampire Roomba zooming around the manor made me laugh so hard!

@hamburgerdog25

8 ай бұрын

@@SylviaSanchez my headcannon is that she is actually standing on a roomba you just can't see it under her robes or whatever

I love how they portrayed the vampires as trickster hunter glass cannons

Eating dinner whilst listening to this was not a good idea

5:01 this is probably one of my favorite descriptions of the vampires in fiction

I don't usually care for vampire stories but this take was very unique and interesting 👀

This story is so interesting, I love the different take of vampires, who are horrifying and creepy creatures.

finally coming around to marathon the hell out of this series- the person voicing this one! I really like them!

I feel like this episode is connected to EP 1, with the creature asking for a cigarette. Its mouth wouldn’t move when it talked so I feel like it might have been a vampire

I am finding this series in late october, should I be worried?

@someoneawesome8717

3 жыл бұрын

Nah, you just got good timing

Not as scary as other statements but a very creepy and intriguing concept!

I love this podcast for my headphones start to always about every 3 episodes

One of my all time favorites

Seriously such a cool take on vampires. I wonder how they make more: very intrigued by that!

That was an amazing story. One of the best so far.

I’m only 10 episodes into this and I love it

i really loved this one.

What an interesting interpretation of vampires

This is one of em interesting protagonists, just like the one in Case #9982211 - Joshua Gillespie of [DO NOT OPEN] Natural occurrences will kill these men, not the monsters or spooky creatures, they're smart and courageous enough to think of the right decisions

@bonniecornelius3836

4 жыл бұрын

what if the vampire hunter and the woman were the old couple?? and the teeth were the vampire teeth like you said?? (even though he has lung cancer he still must be pretty old anyway) edit: oh nvm he died (i was typing this while listening) ;-;

@bonniecornelius3836

4 жыл бұрын

OOH!!! also what if the "anglerfish" mondter thing at the first episode was some kind of vampire??

@bonniecornelius3836

4 жыл бұрын

heck i typed this on the wrong comment sorry

@ryanmoran8787

2 жыл бұрын

Tbf, Timothy Hodge didn’t know anything supernatural was going on until it was too late.

@aubarlowe

2 жыл бұрын

@@fruitygarlic3601 uhhh, whatchu talkin' 'bout? Setting that place on fire WAS the best course of action there--

Ok, no, this can't be a coincidence. A person named "Trevor" on an episode titled "Vampire Killer"?

I've just begun listening and honestly the way he's referring to vampires as 'it' is creeping me out already... Probably because I'm so used to seeing vampires romanticised in media, it's causing this blatant otherness by using these pronouns. Really impressive stuff honestly Spoiler alert I need to let my feelings out: Holy shit the thing in the first episode was a vampire!!! And acc to me the John guy from the second episode seems to be the same guy who was the exorcist in the Burner Out episode... hmmm. Could he be a vampire? Also the darkness is a recurring theme in this story, like it's an entity, kind of seems like the cause for the meat thingies and the skin thingies that have been happening. Is that in some way related to this? I wonder... Also gotta keep the fractal patterns and the eyes in mind cause they have been turning up so much.... Okay I'm done I'm excited to see where this goes

So the thing in the coffin on episode 2 wasn't a vampire.

I had to go back and listen to this episode because I couldn’t remember it at all

This is one of my favorite episodes, like it feels like Evil Dead meets Tarantino with how badass and precise this homeless dude describes himself as he kills these vampires, and how close to dying he comes.

best one yet

relistening to this series again and i genuinely cannot believe martin rn

14:01