Sometimes death isnt about the person who died but rather about mourning the person you never had. Love you bethany. ❤

@DevonRexLady

Ай бұрын

So true.

@beautifulsoul7394

Ай бұрын

Wow so true

@rohndamaynes236

Ай бұрын

So true

@KS-hi8vi

Ай бұрын

It can be about both there were people who loved the deceased. Betheny wasn’t around her Mom for decades so did she know who she was at the end of her life. Betheny is still alive. Let’s celebrate her Moms life. Betheny had a platform to say her peace her Mom didn’t.

@natalijadizdar7824

Ай бұрын

This is so true❤️🫶

When your first bully is your mom that feeling never goes away. I’m so sorry. Being a great mom to Brynn is how you’ve broken that generational curse. Stay strong.

@bethennyfrankel

Ай бұрын

xo

@GreenEyes73

Ай бұрын

"When your first bully is your mom that feeling never goes away." Yup. The only thing I did was forgive myself for not being able to forgive my mother. She's refused to acknowledge or apologize for what she did. She's still here, but we don't have a relationship and that is for my peace of mind. I see her a few times a year during family stuff, but that's it.

@saltycat662

22 күн бұрын

@@GreenEyes73 You have to heal before you can forgive. I forgive my mother but that was to free myself of the burden of these terrible feelings I carried deep within me. And forgiveness isn't just a one time thing. Sometimes you have to forgive over and over again because those memories and feelings can rise up again. But don't feel obligated to offer forgiveness. It's ok. You just focus on healing yourself. That's what's important.

@emmas9928

17 күн бұрын

@@GreenEyes73That’s perfectly understandable. You have integrity.

@wildcaptivation

11 күн бұрын

@@bethennyfrankelwow what an incredibly strong person you are. I can only imagine growing up the way you did and then dealing with such a tumultuous divorce. Your character and perseverance in all these situations is so incredible doing all these things alone is just another layer. I don’t know how you did it, you have so much love for your daughter and it’s clear to see.

I'm over 70 and still struggle. My narcissist mother killed me emotionally, mentally, spiritually and it just Never goes away. She died 25 years ago, but she's still here. God help us all

Roller skating saved your life. Reading saved mine. Childhood should be a magical time. What a shame it is that so many children don’t have that.

The best part is you stopped the terrible cycle to give your daughter the best life. 😢❤

@vickytt816

Ай бұрын

Betenny loves her daughter. But she should be careful not to burden Bryn with her own personal traumas. It’s sad when she said Bryn had good relationship with her grandmother but she stopped calling her as much after she heard things about the grandmother. Bryn shouldn't be made to pick sides or feel guilty if she wants to have healthy relationship with her father and her paternal grandparents.

@bubbleofpeace

Ай бұрын

You don't know that.

@marciamakoviecki3295

Ай бұрын

​@@vickytt816you are exactly right. B is continuing the abusive behavior within her own family... she doesn't see it. Herbown broken family, fighting over money and Brynn for 10 years with Jason, and now lavish Hamptons lifestyle of fashion and travel and all the things B wished she had. I think B is a very loving mother, but she does need to stop trashing Brynns father, stop talking mean about other people, own the anger and mean girl that always came forward on RHONY. Brynn is seeing ALL of that, and it's inevitably going to affect her, too.

@marciamakoviecki3295

Ай бұрын

​It's totally clear! She also spent 10 years fighting with Jason over money and Brynn... that's continuing the family issues!​@@bubbleofpeace

You broke the abuse by changing it for your daughter! Please give yourself grace❤❤❤

@deenalove1234

Ай бұрын

You did Bethany as I did with my children

@missmothertrucker

Ай бұрын

😢

@marciamakoviecki3295

Ай бұрын

Actually, she's continued verbal and psychological abuse with Jason by fighting with him quite publicly about money and Brynn. The cycle continues. Just as B saw her mother's issues with men and money, Brynn is also seeing all of it now.

I suffer from bulimia and I have since I was 12 years old. I am now a 43-year-old mother of two and bulimia is still the most important thing in my life. This opened my eyes to the pain my children must be feeling

@lizajane1878

Ай бұрын

I am so sorry. How awful. Can you get help?

@amitchell2657

Ай бұрын

Hoping that you have some trusted friends or a therapist to turn to.

@penneynadalini216

28 күн бұрын

Let the pain surface and then relax into it and let it go. You're clearing it out and leaving space for light and love. Very therapeutic no matter how hard it is. Your mom did love you, it was her pain and trauma that was never processed.

@Angelface11

22 күн бұрын

Oh...yes it should never be..that's an idol..get help because kids all deserve good parents. They didn't ask to be born. So work on yourself and heal

@elizabethcuartas4951

20 күн бұрын

Think what is the purpose of your life? Bean sick when you can treat yourself to be healthy again , love your self you are worthy and your children are too, life is beautiful just believe in yourself believe in how wonderful you are in the eyes of God , you are his creature give love to your self and to your kids and the people around you and your life will change for the better.

I am truly honored to have had the opportunity to hear this piece of your story. Thank you.

This is the therapy session that Bethenny needed. We’re all here for you. ❤

@halfpintbuckaroo

Ай бұрын

So true. ❤

@hennagal7360

Ай бұрын

Here here ❤ Huge respect for this

@newtexan1

Ай бұрын

She debased all human dignity in airing her mother’s faults and mental health issues. It’s very low.

@BernardAguiar

Ай бұрын

@@newtexan1, While you are entitle to your opinion, Bethenny has always talked about her childhood and upbringing over the years on RHONY and interviews. Perhaps Bethenny just needed to get all of this off of her chest. If we the fans are going to want Bethenny to be authentic, we shouldn't be critical of her when she is. We ALL process things differently.

@pea422000

Ай бұрын

um, no. this is not therapy. this is bethenny oversharing for $. bethenny needs REAL therapy.

What you experienced is called MOTHER HUNGER. Look that up. My childhood was very much like yours, with BOTH parents. It is NEVER too late to have a happy childhood, Bethenny. You're smart, strong and most importantly, you are READY. This event has cracked you wide open. Take the hint and focus solely on your healing. You will get through this. I promise. Much, much love. XO

@Kristina-rs3pf

Ай бұрын

Beautifully said 👏👍❤️

@mkbrown3902

Ай бұрын

I agree totally. Mother Hunger. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. You will be free.

@upmayo9741

Ай бұрын

​@@Kristina-rs3pf You said so much in so few words, I hope they mean as much to Bethenny as they do to me. 🤗

@stepcollazo8134

Ай бұрын

I never heard that word be4 ..like it

@Fratiani

Ай бұрын

Yes , MOTHER HUNGER is a real thing! But Bethenny, turning around being the mother you always wanted is so healing. ❤Love you so much!!

I was in my fifties when I read a sentence in the book You Are Not Crazy, It’s Your Mother, that changed my life. It was “you are not unlovable because your mother didn’t love you, your narcissistic mother was unable to love you”…it hit home. I had spent a lifetime trying too hard to be worthy of love from people who abused me. Finally I realized I was worthy of love, starting with loving myself…a statement I always felt was ridiculous but now understand. It’s been a journey, but finally at age 66 I know I am worthy. Period.

@lazerfocusedstriver9960

24 күн бұрын

AMEN!!! Thanks for sharing your story ❤.

@Angelface11

22 күн бұрын

Yep

@paulinerai5078

14 күн бұрын

Your comment spoke to me, l went through the same as you, it was horrific, l was closed off, my mother left when l was 12, she abandoned me, lm ages with you and l am loved, thank you

I’m so sorry for your loss. The loss of your childhood because your mom was basically a child herself. I pray for peace for you.

@bethennyfrankel

Ай бұрын

xoxo

@DiSWRwow77

Ай бұрын

The fact is that you did not experience care & support consistently - from either 'parent'. She may have written u nice letters & been witty & kind - but it was on her terms & the blow hot, blow cold just leaves a kid walking on egg shells; which is toxic. Yes grieve as no matter what it is your right to grieve the loss of your mother. But please don't pile pressure on yourself by not also acknowledging the regular meaness & rejections interspersed with care (put downs that you did not deserve). Also, I hope, B, that it isn't true as noted on another podcast I watched, that u have been made to take down & stop yr podcasts about yr divorce experience. It is your experience & as u have stated it will help other women who are going thru similar awful times (as I did many years ago). You have a right, surely, to talk about your experience from your perspective. Thats free speech. Otherwise u cant help others because u dont have free speech ! For those of us who watched all the really big historic events - watched you trying to navigate them as best u could - it shud b that u have the right 2 speak yr truth (to support others). Ive no idea y the divorce podcasts have all disappeared, but I truely hope it isnt that you r having 2 consult lawyers (again) 2 glean yr right to speak about yourself, for yourself. ​@@bethennyfrankel

You don't just grieve for the loss of your mom but also for the loss of that "tiny bit of hope" the little girl inside you held onto, the hope that your mom would be the mom you always wanted her to be. I grieved more for that hope being gone than anything...I'm so sorry Bethenny...it hurts like nothing else, it's indescribable.

@stj971

Ай бұрын

Wow, so well said, I've been there too. I was neglected also but I was my mom's caretaker the last 6 mos of her life. All my pain had to be water under the bridge. I see and share all your mixed emotions Bethenny. You're so lucky to have Bryn. 😿😽

@catherineruthven4904

Ай бұрын

I hope you don’t mind I took a screenshot of your comment because it hit me hard. My Mum is almost 98 and although she’s still here this is exactly how I feel. “It hurts like nothing else, it’s indescribable.” So accurate .

@Kimberlyrose308

Ай бұрын

You said it perfectly.

@Megan6772

Ай бұрын

Aptly said ❤

@maymaypooch

Ай бұрын

It truly does. 😢

Oh Bethenny, you never had anyone to protect you. You always had to do it yourself. I'm so sorry that so many people, who's job it was to love and protect you, hurt, abused, and neglected you. Take all the time you need to really let yourself feel all of that. You're an amazing person, worthy of love and protection. You're a great mom and person. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this. You're mother gave us all the gift of you to the world. We're crying with you and we love you bethenny. ❤❤❤

@fefetegs8994

Ай бұрын

Her mom was meaner then mine which I nvr thot could be I wanna hug beth😭❤️‍🩹🙏🕯️this is helpin me heal beth ty u beautiful 26:31 💎 ily🙏

Your raw and heartfelt testimony touched my heart. I understand many aspects of your persona despite the fact that I don’t “know” you. I shed tears with you as you spoke your truth. This is part of your healing and grief process. May God bless your path ahead in being the mother you wish you’d had. Chin up. This too shall pass and has passed. ❤️🙌🏽. Blessings and my condolences to you from California.

@bethennyfrankel

Ай бұрын

xoxo

This is your mom’s gift to you. The gift of your healing ❤

My heart breaks for you Bethenny. You're healing your relationship with your mother through your relationship with Brynn.

@alexissmith5523

Ай бұрын

Poor Bryn. She has already been SO traumatized. Brynn is SO in love with her mom, that she is not seeing clearly. This is normal. The fact that Bethenny could not wait to tell her side of the story for complete strangers until she was older, shows what a true narcissist she is. And I dont' mind Bethenny. But it's traumatizing to see how she treats Brynn. How she snags the pen out of her hand aggressively. Do you think Brynn would EVER say no, mom, don't take about my dad, I'm not ready. Brynn will allow her mom to do and be ANYTHING she wants. Kids would rather stay with their heroine addicted parents shooting up than be without them.

@susansmith493

Ай бұрын

​@@alexissmith5523Exactly. Bethany has her own demons and she's now disparaging her own mother to Bryn to make herself look, comparatively better. Luckily, Bryn has a wonderful, sound, father and extended family on his side.

@maryb5934

Ай бұрын

this is so mean to Bethenny!@@alexissmith5523

@maryb5934

Ай бұрын

@@susansmith493 Same as above. She is so strong and been through so much Pain! Unless you have been through what someone else has been through. She's down the best she could! How dare you judge her!

@maryb5934

Ай бұрын

She's done the Best she could.

"Ive been alone my entire life and Im alone now" really broke my heart

@user-fq8rs7rz3i

Ай бұрын

I get what she means. I have two adult children who are everything to me emotionally. But I just don’t connect with my few friends in any deep way. I care about them but I don’t need or miss them when they’re not around. I’m an only child and my mother was an abusive nightmare most of the time. I was terrified of her but I was also terrified that I’d lose her. I won’t go on cos it’s too complicated. But I think I know what Bethenny means. Peace ❤

@stj971

Ай бұрын

Same here

@susandurrant6357

Ай бұрын

I've always felt a connection with Bethany. Those that understand what I'm saying, understand exactly what I'm saying ❤

@michellemonet4358

Ай бұрын

Me too

@LuvableAF

Ай бұрын

Bethenny has no idea what it feels like “to be alone”.

“Why I’ve been alone my whole life “. All of this hits hard, but that last sentence is the life many children of abuse later live. why our walls are impenetrable. The hope is to find a way through it and offer grace to those who are on our team. Thank you Bethany. Truly.

She was a sick sick women, she loved you the only way she knew. When my mother died,it was a relief and and.very emotional roller coaster, it will get better, life goes on. It’s wild how our childhoods effects us. You are loved a lot now! Breathe that every day.

I was beautiful when young; my mom was beautiful. My mom wanted to be a writer; I became a writer. Jealousy destroyed our relationship. She tried to hold me down in life at every turn. She undermined my confidence. Bethenny, I'm not trying to be mean here...but after years of telling therapists, "'My mom loved me...just in her own way," FINALLY a therapist looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Did she? Everything you've told me indicates she didn't. You don't treat people you love with abuse." I was stunned. I got defensive. I said, "Are you saying my own mom didn't love me?" I'll never forget her response, "I'm not saying you weren't worthy of her love. I'm saying your mom wasn't capable of love because she hated herself. That's on her. You have to let it go. You did nothing wrong." That freed me to an extent. Boy, I still struggle at the ripe age of 55....and am single due to the trauma. But I, at least, realize her inability to love me was not my fault. P.S. I too can remember two or three nice things my mom did for me. That's the sad part...I can only remember two or three nice things she did for me. We shouldn't be able to point to a handful of things. That's not a mother. Sorry. My point is you have nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing! Signed, someone who still feels unworthy of love.

@katjaxxx7353

Ай бұрын

similar situation here - it helps me that maybe some of our Mom's didn't even want a child - different times - I realized at the age of 54 that she will never give me what I need and since I realized that I am so much better - sending hugs from Germany

@yvonneclaes5208

Ай бұрын

@@katjaxxx7353 My Mom didn't want any children but had 5 of us...She was brought up Catholic. XOX from America.

@katjaxxx7353

Ай бұрын

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ xox

@m_christine1070

Ай бұрын

Very similar situation here, too.😓. ❤

@soniadeebee6391

Ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing.❤

Bethenny, your Mom's demons are not yours to carry. Hearing all you have gone thru, until this moment, shows how strong of a woman you are. You have had a second chance for a happy childhood thru Bryn, helping, loving, and caring for her the way you do. Lean on her, and Paul now. You will be ok. Grieve as you should, but hug yourself, because you could of gone down a dark road, and you have accomplished so much, even against all odds. I admire you. And look in the mirror, because you are stunning, bright, special. Never forget that. Your Mom RIP, but regardless of her sad life, she brought into the world a wonderful woman that gives so much to others. Sending hugs to you and Bryn❤.

@bingm8109

Ай бұрын

As I was thinking of what I wanted to say to Bethany, I read your posts and others too. I could not express my feelings any better than yours, so I won’t even try. 💗

@drina4706

Ай бұрын

So well said!!! 👏👏👏

@aprilrain2011

Ай бұрын

Crying my own eyes out. I longed all my life for a nice, quite relationship with my mother insrof walking on eggshells every minuteof the day. Nothing I ever did was good enough. But in the end I took care of my mother the last 2 years of her life. Priceless, cheerished time..even though it wasn't easy. My mother died a year and 5 months ago. I miss her so much. I would give anything if she was here cussing me out. I haven't even been able to go clean her house out. BUT.. I found peace last week. Thank you God. I know she did the best she could. No matter what, she brought me her only child into this world. I love you Mom. May you keep your peace Bethany. Time does help heal. So proud of you and Bryn. Love, hugs, and prayers, Bethany.

Bethenny, I cried with you, I felt every morsel of your pain with you but no regrets, you were amazing daughter and now an amazing mother and the generational curse has been broken with YOU my sweet friend. Think about that, that’s true success. You’re an overcomer. Thank you for sharing your life, it’s truly helping so many people to process their trauma. Much love. 🥰

Giving young bethenny a long hug. Because she did not deserve that.

It sounds like your mother had a personality disorder, likely as a result of the trauma she suffered as a child. I hope you're proud of yourself for breaking the cycle of abuse that you both survived. If you can bear it, please give young Bethenny a long, nourishing hug. She deserves it ❤

@chiefswife1212

Ай бұрын

Many people just don't want to be a parent, it's nothing that requires a diagnosis, it's just life.

@lynn143

Ай бұрын

@@chiefswife1212both can be true!

It's pretty ballsy putting this side of you on display and I appreciate you for this. Grief is SO complicated. When I was 29 (I'm 45 now), my mom died and 6 days later on the day of her memorial, I found my dad dead. Their deaths provoked so many emotions like anger, abandonment, blah blah blah. I'm really sorry Bethenny, my condolences. I'm not a therapist, but sometimes our parents really drop the frickin ball, and its ok to be pissed. Definitely give yourself compassion. Yes you'll endure pain, but I promise it will get easier. The grief comes in waves, including the anger and resentment. Treat yourself kindly ❤️

The fact that you are a good mom is a gift from your mom because you did everything to be as different as night and day.

Dear Bethany: My arms are around you in spirit. “Not love able” resonates so loudly within the silence of my own mind. I thank you for being so thoughtful and understanding what we need as mothers and daughters, truth, truth, truth. Lies keep us locked within the narrative that makes us sick. Blessings for you and Brynn always.

I think that for those who have had terrible parents, when they die you grieve what you will never have. It’s so very final.

@ctgctg1

Ай бұрын

Absolutely.

@katjaxxx7353

Ай бұрын

Yes probably…. But I realized in the last years that it is only a monologue… since I realized deep down she will never change I feel so much better bc I also don’t try anymore.

@roxysimmons

Ай бұрын

@@katjaxxx7353 If you can get to that point, then it's definitely for the best. Some parents can't be the parents we want or need. As children there's no way we can understand that, but as adults we can free ourselves by realising it fully and only accepting what they can give.

@Julie-thestocktrader

Ай бұрын

yep complicated grief.

@LP-tu8li

Ай бұрын

With estrangement we might live in the fantasy that someday things could be different. With death it puts an end to the fantasy/possibility.

‘Maybe someday when I look back I’ll be able to say, you didn’t mean to be cruel, somebody hurt you too’ - Madonna

@soundspy

Ай бұрын

„My life goes on, but not the same, into your eyes, my face remains.“

@Angiebell333-ux7qv

25 күн бұрын

Sending Hugzzz 🤗 & L💝VE Dearest Bethenny & Prayers 🙏 🌸🌷🌼💛☀️

Thank you for being so honest. You’ve helped more people than you will ever know.

This is truly just as therapeutic for listeners as it is for you to release it. You are so strong and inspirational. Thank you for sharing this.

I lost my mum 22 months ago, even though I’m 54 years old and mother of 2 sons now grown men, I still grieve like a child who just wants her mummy. Obviously I have to hide this from everyone and be strong and support everyone, but secretly inside that’s how I feel. My heart and thoughts are with you at this very sad loss xxx

@sashalawrence4786

Ай бұрын

Why must you suppress? Please don’t ♥️

@robingrl23

Ай бұрын

You are mourning the loss of your childhood. A child never should experience what you went thru. ❤

@DrivingMissLazy

Ай бұрын

If you feel you have to hide it then do as you think best. I can't help but wonder if you'd feel a life-altering weight removed if you didn't hide it, though. ❤️ to you.

@cynthiaryan2901

Ай бұрын

I’m 75, lost my mother 8 years ago in May, and I still have tears at times. Imagine that at 75! Like all mother-daughter relationships we had our moments. But, I got over it, and chose to look at all the good. And, there was LOTS of good. No one is perfect. No one.

@bethennyfrankel

Ай бұрын

Xoxo

Bethenny I met you out one day and you were nothing but pleasant. I’m a fan for life. You truly inspired me to start my show here on KZread. Is it on the level of yours NO but it’s a start! May you be blessed and may your mother’s soul rest well. ❤❤

@TheAnonymousTip

Ай бұрын

Cool name and concept.

@cathyhurston5535

Ай бұрын

What a lovely comment

@CamillaBoy-pk7zk

Ай бұрын

Oh, we know about your show 😂

@JamesE-du8kk

Ай бұрын

She's very down to earth. I'll check out your show

@TheTimidTraveler

Ай бұрын

Thank you. I lost my mom in June so I can totally understand how Bethenny feels. My mom is (I refuse to use past tense) a great mom and that loss catapulted me into the crisis that is my show lol.

Part of your grief is you KNOW what a healthy mother/daughter relationship is, because you are such a great Mom.

Love to you Bethany, I see your emotions. I’m the daughter of a Narc father, also mourning the little girl that had a shit childhood.. you were a victim, not your fault. Your distance from her was protection for your heart. So much love to you and healing. You were parentified.

Bethenny I feel your pain. My mother died in 2018. She was 95. After her death I discovered she was a covert narcissist. I learned why I had no self esteem, no boundaries, and a commiserate people pleaser. I too am alone. I am 71. I am just now realizing I am a survivor. I am tough and so are you. Much love to you Bethenny!

@OGDeeHiggins

Ай бұрын

😘☮️

@user-qj3cd6sp6e

Ай бұрын

Bethenny I feel your pain lots off lOVE ❤️ from Ireland 🇮🇪 ❤

I think it’s more difficult when a parent passes if the relationship is as complicated as yours was. So much hurt.

Give yourself grace and compassion. Such beautiful words to tell oneself. Thank you for sharing.

Your raw honesty helps all of us heal through difficult and similar childhoods. Your story is our story too. We’re not alone. Thanks for your ability to share TRUTH w/o apologies is liberating for us all. Bless you at this very hard, tender times. 💛🙏

Thank you for being vulnerable and open. You are not alone and there are so many people needed to hear this.

The duality of your mom's parenting must have been so hard, not knowing what to expect, getting intermittent, infrequent rewards and not being able to count on a parent for support. You've done an amazing job surviving and thriving in spite of all the awful experiences.

Your words and your relationship with your mother are so similar to mine in many ways. My mother insulted me on my wedding day. She couldn’t help it. She was so insecure. She threw out a bunch of insults at my sister at her UC Berkeley graduation, she was so jealous and embarrassed that she hadn’t gone to a prestigious college like she wanted to. She lashed out at all of us, putting me down, saying horrible things to my sister about how the whole family was supposedly “so disappointed” that she didn’t “get her MRS in college. What a waste of going to Berkeley.” She couldn’t help herself. She was incapable of joy for anyone else. I always wanted so badly to make her happy and make her proud of me. We all did. When I got the call that she died I was on the phone with the realtor telling me we got the house. I felt like “Of course she had to ruin this for me too.” And I felt relief. A huge sense of relief. It was finally over. I would never have to try for something that was never going to happen. And I miss her so much. Nobody enjoyed talking sh*t more than her. If I ever wanted to just spew pure vile, I knew I could call her and she’d eat it up. I’m writing a graphic novel about all of this. And it’s really cathartic. And if it’s any good I’ll send you a copy because I think you can relate. Love you, and happy Mother’s Day ❤

My mom died 2 years ago. Similar story. Elizabeth Taylor look alike. Stunning. Vain, with an eating disorder. We're fortunate that we could survive it. Yes, difficult and even traumatic, but.. it helped shape us into independent, resilient, truth seekers. Therefore, I'm grateful for her flaws, which helped me become the woman that I am today. Rest in peace mom. I miss and love you 🩷🩷🩷

@sandrap4188

Ай бұрын

My elderly parents died in 2011. Part of growing up is forgiving your parents for real & perceived failings. Time does heal & walking in nature every day helps...& be kind to yourself & others always.

This is the most powerful, tragic, honest raw podcast I’ve ever listened to. You have been through so much and what sticks out to me is the amazing mother you are to your daughter. Remarkable that you have the love intention and foresight to even get there. You are amazing. Thank you for laying your heart out there . Let the healing begin. You deserve it and more ❤

My mother died in October. She was abusive and a narcissist. I forgave her years ago and when she died I only felt sorry she had a miserable life. My therapist said it's going to hit you, that there's no hope of having a relationship with your mom. I haven't experienced any emotions either way. I lost my hope of having a mom in my twenties. Sorry you are hurting. Wish you the best.

@stepcollazo8134

Ай бұрын

Maybe you’ll find that if u get married or something!..

@Kimberlyrose308

Ай бұрын

You’re so not alone.

@saltycat662

Ай бұрын

@@stepcollazo8134 That's not how it works. If you're dealing with trauma, marriage can sometimes make it worse. You have to grieve and heal for what you will never have before you can have a healthy marriage. If you don't, chances are good that you will find a partner who exhibits many of the toxic trait your parent(s) had.

@laurenhahn890

Ай бұрын

Thats weird of your therapist. No one knows how you will or won’t feel. Sometimes people are able to process things, not everyone is subconsciously avoiding or ignoring something. My mom died when i was 15 and dad at 25, and i truly am at peace with it. I do t like it but im truly at peace with it. Therapists cant predict anything for us

@susandurrant6357

Ай бұрын

I completely agree with you Lauren, to be told of an impending meltdown or heartbreak is so damaging. I was once told that I would never get over my ex by a therapist, it worried me so much, 15 years later I am still cross that I was told that, plus it wasn't true.

Bethany so sorry to hear your sad news. As our late Queen said "Grief is the price we pay for love". Take care of yourself. I really think this was cathartic for you to talk all about your troubled childhood 😢. Peace be with you hunny bunny, hugs to you and Brin ❤. Love as always from Rosie O from Devon, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Bethany….what you are going through is absolutely a re-trauma. The same thing happened to me. Just walk through it and feel your feelings. Thank you for being so raw and vulnerable. You’re helping others. 🥺❤

I was stunned at the depth of despair I felt when my mother passed. It shocked me. She had a full life, she was 87. It wasn’t unexpected, yet her loss…was profound.

@michellemonet4358

Ай бұрын

I hear you Julie. 😢😢 im sorry. My mom is alive and 90. Im already grieving

@christopherone1

Ай бұрын

Yes...same. overwhelmed with grieve and still think of my mother almost everyday...we hadn't spoken in 9 years...then she died. So awful

@michellemonet4358

Ай бұрын

@@christopherone1 im sorry. Hope you are finding some peace

Cried with you, sister. Your hurt mother was caught up in the cycle of hurt and hurting. I am so proud of you for breaking that cycle of pain and being the wonderful mother you are. You might feel broken right now, but what you did was to break this generational curse. Be happy about what you did with this pain, you somehow did not allow it to continue to Bryn. You are the kind of rebel we all need to be. Keeping you in my prayers.

@tolowend

Ай бұрын

My heart goes out to you. I also had a complicated relationship with my mom. You are mourning the loss of the relationship you wished you had. Praying for healing. ❤

Bethany I am in tears. You are describing me and my mum. She had a stroke and I moved into care for her. The cruelty shames me. I’m in my 50’s with grown children but around mum I became a child. Desperate for her love. Incredibly sad as well. I decided to show her exactly what I had always craved. Unconditional love. But it came with a huge price. Take care. Please cry and go through grief. We tend to avoid that tunnel as the pain is sheer anguish. But if we don’t grieve. We don’t recover. It’s incredibly hard to grieve for your parent and yourself at the same time. But you can do this.

I am so so proud of you for talking about this!! You will definitely be talking to many who have experienced the same pain not just as a child but as an adult. Love to you!!!❤

My Mom was an unhappy lady and it was how I was raised. She married my father knowing he was an alcoholic. Her excuse to be unhappy and a martyr. She loved me , but could only show it in providing for me. It took me many years to take control of my life and realize I got all she could give. I learned it is up to me to not follow in her footsteps. I am so content with my life. I'm 84 and pity her life, what a waste. I tell all those I love how I feel. I choose to be happy.

Also, give yourself grace. You overcame all of this and became everything you lacked for yourself and for your daughter (your greatest legacy). Just extraordinary.

I’m sorry for your pain- thank you for being open to sharing this. You are so strong and are doing a wonderful job turning things around and showing your daughter that you cherish her!

I cried listening to this, thank you for processing out loud what has been going through your mind. Your rawness has allowed me to process some of my own stuff. Sending you so much love ❤ be gentle with yourself, you are not alone. You are surrounded by love.

Write everything - all of it, get it out. It will be a bestselling book…. Your voice is a powerhouse we can all relate to and learn from. A thousand hugs 🥰

@Darima2

Ай бұрын

Yes, I think her memoir would be so interesting once she starts her healing journey. Her story will resonate with many unfortunately.

@halfpintbuckaroo

Ай бұрын

It will be the very best therapy. X

@l.m.m.tucker6998

Ай бұрын

@@Darima2*fortunately

As someone who grew up in a very similar situation…. ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS ARE EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULD BE FEELING… I felt the same guilt when my dad passed but it was impossible to deal with him while he was alive…. My mom is 80 and I still can’t talk to her till this day I feel overwhelming guilt that she could pass anytime but she is still vicious and nasty to me and I have to protect my kids from that… For some reason, OR, NONE at all, some of us have a very cruel childhood and our parents tried to destroy us…. And yet here we are hanging on to guilt because we had to go no contact for our own sanity and protection…. 😢😞It’s something only those of us who have survived this dynamic can truly understand

@beverley1539

Ай бұрын

Ditto 🇨🇦🐝

@michellemonet4358

Ай бұрын

I went "no contact" with my mom too. Its hard...but necessary sometimes.

My mom was a big fan of yours, Bethenny. I lost my mom a year ago in June. My mom identified with your story because she went thru so much as a child. My mom was a very strong person-like you- and thrived in spite of it. AND like you, was a very good mother and broke the cycle. Sending you a hug.

Bethenny, thank you for sharing this with us. It takes great courage to come to terms with trauma. You have so many people that look up to you (myself included). Speaking about this publicly and the rawness of what you’re experiencing is extraordinarily helpful. Wishing you healing & love ❤

You are not a bad daughter far from it. You were born thank God with a survival instinct. I admire you so and I’m so sorry for your grief.❤️

I’ve finally found someone who understands the emotions I’ve HAD to live with all my life. The pain of parental estrangement, the pain of my own resentment. The pain of being unlovable and damaged and alone. The baggage of parental BLAME and the sense of responsibility that being their child brings because they’re your parent. It’s inexcusable. No one should ever have to grow up and go through their ENTIRE life carrying parental blame, abuse and estrangement simply because they were born. Thank you for sharing your story. It most certainly has impacted many adult children carrying similar experiences, including mine.

@fitmamaroberta

Ай бұрын

❤

To say that this is someone breaking a generational cycle is an understatement. Much love & strength as you process the grief and memories Bethenny. Thank you for showing your real self to so many that can relate.🙏❤️

Hi Bethenny, Your video was very moving to me, a 64 yr. old grandma, with some similar traumas. It gives anyone that grew up or has had abusive relationships something to pause, to think, process and work through our experiences. I can relate. Sending you, Bryn and Paul love and peace throughout this difficult time. I appreciate you. Thank you!

I’m so sorry, Bethenny. 😢 My mother was a narcissist and an addict, and a lot of my childhood was similar to yours although I had a father who was emotionally immature and codependent but really tried to provide stability for my sister and me after she left. When my mother died of a drug overdose in 2011, I experienced all the same grief you are feeling now. Part of how I feel still today is the loss of the potential relationship we could have had if she wasn’t sick. It’s like you lose a parent and the fantasy of the relationship you never had. Your inner child is really going through it! I also feel guilty and like a bad daughter because I couldn’t repair it. I have a daughter, and like you l, I poured all the love and mothering into her. Keep doing this. It’s healing. My daughter is 35 and she’s my best friend, and so is her husband. Just know you aren’t alone, and it wasn’t your fault. I’m crying with you right now and I understand.

Bethenny, everyone grieves differently. Please remember it doesnt happen all at once, but in bits and pieces, so take all the time you need. Im so sorry for your loss dear one. P.S. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. ❤

You are allowed to feel however you feel about your mother at any given time. Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us. Much love. 💖

Wow! Thank you Bethenny for sharing this part of your life with us. Thank you for being the one to break this cycle of abuse in your family. Your daughter is a blessed girl to have you as a Momma. ❤❤

I miss mine so much she was a great mom,kind ,loving, funny.All the best to you during this sad time of life.

When abused children grow up, they have a hard time going back to the nightmare of abuse and more often torture. Adults are often those young children who contnue to grow up but are basically stunted in the same place and times of scattered memories and nightmares of the abuse. During this grieving process, you began to grieve for that child, to comfort that child, and to make sense of things for that child. You protected and sheltered that child for so long and now you have slowly begun the healing by nurturing that child through talking about your trauma in this very podcast. May you continue to find peace through your journey as you heal the little girl that was always and is still so precious.

Thank you for your vulnerability, transparency and sharing your story.

I can relate on so many levels. Cried my eyes out listening to and truly HEARING your gut wrenchingly honest words. Thank you, Bethenny, for being able to share your pain, for being authentic, for not being afraid of showing the world your humanity and fragility. Your words are helping me through my process of forgiveness. Please know that you are loved and appreciated by many. ❣️

I get it. You’re mourning the loss of what could have been, what should have been but wasn’t. It took me 15 years after my mom passed to see who she really was, a human who did what she did and that’s on her, not me. You have accomplished so very much. You took what life threw at you and created a life your mom couldn’t. You’re an amazing woman and you are lovable. I grew up in Nassau County, in the ‘70s. My dad loved Belmont Racetrack and I worked at a bank where all the trainers had their accounts. I hope you find peace in the coming years. ❤

Bethenny you are a strong,beautiful, successful, accomplished mother and woman, we all appreciate you everyday ❤I know you lift me up most days when I watch you on here! Ty for sharing with us as hard as it is for you to have done this. You are so appreciated and loved!

Grief and loss from an abusive relationship is complex. The relief in knowing they are no longer able to hurt your heart is freeing, a relief, but can leave us feeling guilty for having such emotions about the peace we have in this closure. ☮️ ❤

I always liked and admired Bethenny, she's a no-nonsense chick who's smart as a whip and she doesn't take mess from anyone. A strong woman holding her own raising her daughter, I luv it!

I also had a horrible childhood with my mother. She had a violent, abusive father who gave her (out of 10 children) the worst physical, emotional, and I believe sexual abuse. She did not want me as she had a son and daughter, and I was an accident pregnancy. She never let me forget that fact. She would not tell me she loved me, and made no secret of why I was born. She physically abused me very badly and I never could understand why. My dad was a very good man, but he worked nights, and slept during the day. He didn’t know about the abuse, because she did those things when no one else was around. She died in 1982, and after she died, my mother’s brother and her niece told me a little about why she was the way she was. My grandfather had mental problems and my mother, one of her brothers and one of her sisters also had these mental problems. I have struggled with the way I was treated by my mother all of my life and am still trying to put it behind me, and I am 70. It is very hard, and this is why I never married or had children. I did not want to repeat the way I was treated. It is something that stays with you all of your life. I pray that someday I can forgive her and I try every day. I pray for you too. I wish you healing and the ability to move on. It is hard, but we have to try. 🙏🏼💕

@shaunamarie1053

Ай бұрын

I pray for you. No child deserves that.

@drina4706

Ай бұрын

😢💔😞

@pamspencer5733

Ай бұрын

Ditto,never married,no kids! Youngest of five! My parents,poor things so much abuse with both!

I've never heard B say "I loved her and I worshipped her" that is a powerful statement even though you also felt like she ruined your life which is valid

@fefetegs8994

Ай бұрын

❤🙏2 beth😢

@michellemonet4358

Ай бұрын

Thats the dichotomy. Love and hate...

I felt every second of this and you shared it so perfectly. You’ve put words to my thoughts and experience. Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable and inspirational. And know how strong of a person you have to be to break that generational trauma. Sending you love and healing energy 💗

I commend you for being so raw & real, Bethenney.

As the daughter of a narcissist mom who was the meanest person in my life I commend you for being able to maintain some sort of relationship with her! I have always loved and followed you! Thank you for sharing this, my own mom may have passed away last year and I haven’t even begun to process it. I just refuse to go there! Bryn is your guardian angel, and you are a fantastic mom! Sending love!!❤❤❤

@beverley1539

Ай бұрын

🇨🇦🐝

thanks for being real B, you’re helping women everywhere with your vulnerability

keep strong Bethenny....and thank you so much for sharing your healing journey... you are helping so many here.... much love and respect.

Thank you Betheny for opening up and share with all of us. I can't imagine what you went thru but one thing for sure, time will ease your pain and get one step at a time closer to your peace of mind. I lost my mom 28 years ago when I was 30, I am a mom to 2 adult boys. Every year around Mother's Day bring memories of my mom and many refrection moment to my self for being a mom. I am here for you to listen if you ever want to just talk about your mother again.

🌲🌲🌲🪻🌷🌻I know I’m a total stranger but I AM SO PROUD OF YOU for opening up about what I personally know to be the hardest thing I’ve ever tackled. This is so beyond brave! It may not mean much but if nothing else please know you have healed a part of some random girl in North Carolina. I had this mother and an alcoholic father. My dad wasn’t physically abusive but verbally, insane! Thank you. I pray God helps you heal from all of this with peace that surpasses all understanding!

There is nothing like losing the person who knew you from your first breath. Regardless of how close ( or not ) you were with your mom, it's a painful, emotional experience. The task of grieving is really important. Prayers of comfort sent up for you Bethenny.

Thank you for being open and sharing your story. You broke the cycle of abuse and this is what is mostly important. This was my only podcast I've ever listened to. Continue with your healing. ❤

Bethenny thank you so much for sharing this with us. This is so real for me. May your mom rest in peace, and may you find your peace and heal your heart 💔

You gave your mama the ultimate gift. You gave her Bryn.

@user-is6de8pp7k

Ай бұрын

What??

There comes a time when you need to forgive your parents in order to have a healthy life. It’s time.

@marilynholden-mcbride3463

Ай бұрын

100 percent

@marciamakoviecki3295

Ай бұрын

She won't. Her entire being revolves around anger, resentment, jealousy, emotional abuse. Her therapy discussion with Dr. Matt on her podcast showed so much. Listen to it.

@Fratiani

9 күн бұрын

@@marciamakoviecki3295. I’m sure you must be a delight…..NOT!

Thank you for sharing B. Sending you so much love. You have so many people who would love to be there for you.. be your friend.. when you're ready. You have STOPPED the cycle of abuse with your daughter and the loving and supportive relationship you two have. That is HUGE!

You are such an amazing mother and person … we do heal and we do better with our own children that’s breaking the cycle!!!

I lost my mom when I was around your age now. I am so sorry. I will be praying for you. God bless you.

@bethennyfrankel

Ай бұрын

❤❤❤

Bethenny, This touched me so much. I was born in 1973 and I had a VERY similar relationship with my mom, who passed in 2009. It wasn’t addiction that had my mom, it was mental illness. Roller skating was my life, too. The music & lights helped me forget she was neglectful & abusive but for some reason I STILL wanted her to just love me. I stayed away from her because her outburst were dangerous & I did the same as an adult. I cried like a baby and listened to the Carole King song with your TikTok post because that’s ALWAYS how I felt - she was too far away. I won’t go on about it because I don’t want to trauma dump, I wanted to send you love and healing & let you know how beautiful your words were. ❤️‍🩹

Thank you for being so honest. I am praying for you to have peace in your life.

Bethenny, I've only been truly touched a handful of times in my life. Listening to you share your intimate thoughts about your mother melted my heart. I wanted to embrace you so much in the moment. For now, I can only give you an air hug and wish you well, but if we should ever meet, I will insist on a real embrace. You're a prodigious lady.💞

Thank you so much for being so transparent and generous during such a difficult time.

This is nothing short of phenomenal. Bethenny, you are SO brave, SO powerful to share with us. Thank you. The loss of one’s mother is so profound, so deep, such a journey. And when one has a complicated relationship with one’s mother, the journey is a spiritual release and renewal of otherworldly proportions. No words. Thank you 🙏🏽💕💕💕

Thank you Bethanny for taking about this. I have such a complicated relationship with my mom. Never felt like she’s ever been proud of me or truly cared about me. It helps to hear other peoples experiences so I don’t feel so alone.

I’m sitting here totally entranced by your story. Do you realize how strong you are? ❤ So very sorry for your loss.