My social anxiety is learned. I didn't used to be anxious around people. It was only when I realized the extent to which I didn't understand people that I became anxious about dealing with them.

@debanikgoswami4834

Жыл бұрын

Take 100 interaction challenge.

@loisdanes176

Жыл бұрын

Yep

@Heyu7her3

Жыл бұрын

Are you naturally extroverted?

@tomaszk54

Жыл бұрын

Although I’m more introverted than not, I still was able to enjoy socializing in specific situations. But I began avoiding even those situations when I began to more fully grasp how often my body language, tone of voice, facial expression, etc. perplexed people and how often my words, intentions, and emotional state were wildly misinterpreted by NTs.

@SantaClaws1334

Жыл бұрын

Extraverted autist is such based abomination, that everyone should kneel before its power.

"They get the game, they just don't like playing it." Wow. I literally stopped the video, clapped my hands and said "YES!" That is the most clear, concise way of explaining introversion I've ever heard. Thank you for the video!

@demoraatz

Жыл бұрын

Yes!!

@eciosart516

Жыл бұрын

Good One!

@H2Obsession

Жыл бұрын

A leading cause of the "Great Resignation"?

@MacNerfer

Жыл бұрын

@@H2Obsession Great Resignation comes from not playing the corporate economic game. This is more about personal social interactions. You can apply the same phrase, but it's a different context.

@Viky.A.V.

Жыл бұрын

you're totally right)

I’m definitely an introvert but I’ve also always felt I was mistakenly dropped off on the wrong planet when I was born. Interacting with others is usually confusing and exhausting. I’m 71 now, so I’ve gotten better at it over the years through trial and error. I don’t have a diagnosis and probably won’t seek one at this point, but videos such as this offer a wealth of information about many traits that I identify with.

@Teddyisoffline

Жыл бұрын

That was a really interesting read I'm 22 and feel the exact same way

@kathleenwalker1398

Жыл бұрын

I'm 70 & have many of the same problems too. It got really confusing as a teenager & has been that way since then!

@MxSae

Жыл бұрын

I thought this video would help me but it just confused me more. I have a lot of just introversion traits but I do have some autistic traits too.

@mikmook4781

Жыл бұрын

There is actually an online community for autistic people called 'Wrong Planet'. I'm not on the spectrum but I understand the sentiment. I remember Oliver Sacks writing about Temple Grandin, who is autistic and said she felt like "an anthropologist on Mars". It's a familiar feeling for many who aren't "normal".

@EnlightenedCarnivore

Жыл бұрын

@katherinehealy4208, You sound like someone who would benefit from ET's book, The Power of Now. I'm 61yo and have been living "happily ever after" since realizing what it points to.

I'm a very introverted person and have been asked many times over the years if I'm autistic. It made me angry for a long time. Then I started answering, "No, I just don't like people." That always shuts them up. 😉 America is a nation of extroverts. My introversion has caused me many problems over the years because people just don't understand. I can't imagine how hard it must be for autistic people. It's a sad commentary on society. 😕 I just want to thank you Orion. I started watching your channel because I have a new stepgrandson, seven years old, that's autistic, and I very much do want to understand.

@TheKjoy85

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad that you are trying to understand autism for the sake of someone else. Having family that doesn't even try to understand you can be so hurtful especially as a child. I would suggest that you watch as many actually autistic content creators as you can. Each of us is unique and have unique perspectives on being autistic.

@worldhello1234

Жыл бұрын

They simply don't want to understand that people exists that feel complete different arround people. It is narcissistic IMHO.

@deliarealtor

Жыл бұрын

I can relate with that.

@Chris-qo4rt

Жыл бұрын

Yeah it's annoying, people seem to think that having an introverted personality is automatically autism but it couldn't be further from the truth. Introversion is a personality trait, autism is a diagnosis that can be put on both introverted and even extroverted people.

@elinh9755

Жыл бұрын

Wanna move to Sweden? The country of introverts, where you don't sit next to strangers on the bus😂

I am both an introvert and a diagnosed autist. One of the problems that some intelligent autistic adults can face in getting a diagnosis, or recognising their own autism, is that they have intellectually created 'work-arounds' that outwardly negate some of their autistic traits. For example, I am very good at eye-contact, but I do it consciously. Over many years, I have worked out what duration of eye contact other people find comfortable. Long before I realised that I was autistic, I noticed that I seemed to be missing out on something in interactions with other people, particularly the opposite sex. After conversations, friends would remark about how a woman obviously liked me, and I would be at a complete loss about how that was evident. Being fairly bright, I then actively researched facial expressions and body language, and became reasonably adept at decoding non-verbal signals. Intelligence, or low animal cunning, take your pick, can negate some of the more obvious and stereotypical traits of autism in some people, but the people concerned are still autistic. I have problems with anxiety, changes in routine, some really unpleasant sensory issues and was selectively mute as a child, none of which would be evident if you met me.

@taoist32

Жыл бұрын

I completely agree. I am both autistic and introverted as well. The opposite sex has always been a hard read, although humans in general are hard to read. Several years ago I had a similar experience where a “girl”/young woman seemed interested in me. We were at a friend’s birthday party, but I never met her before. Throughout the whole time she followed me and kept me company. Later, my friends asked if she was my girlfriend. I said no, of course not. They asked how she talked to me, how close she was physically, what we talked about. I didn’t even know what she was doing. She sat next to me at the dinner table, but instead of a chair she sat on my arm rest although there were several chairs available. Looking back I can see she liked me, but at the time I had no idea.

@bentnickel7487

Жыл бұрын

That's why it takes a lifetime to KNOW yourself.

@FruityHachi

Жыл бұрын

I struggled with eye contact my whole life and only recently I try to consciously look into people’s eyes and I also started researching body language to understand people better though I’m not sure if I’m autistic, I mean, books about body language are popular, surely not everyone who doesn’t know how to pick up on body language cues is autistic

@urseliusurgel4365

Жыл бұрын

@@FruityHachi You need to have: 1) Persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction and 2) Restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests - usually with added sensory problems, to be diagnosed as autistic.

@FruityHachi

Жыл бұрын

@@urseliusurgel4365 does 1) mean not knowing how to approach people, how to start a conversation and how to continue conversation? not knowing how to express your thoughts clearly? and i don't know what to picture in the 2) point

As both, I want to point out a key misunderstanding that a lot of people have about introverts and that is that we aren't necessarily drained by all social interactions. We don't just avoid social interaction entirely. We are drained by social interactions with large groups of people and with people we don't know well but, contrary to common belief, we are often recharged by interaction with small groups of people we are very close with. Autistic people may often by introverted, but autism goes beyond just social interactions, where introversion is by definition related specifically to social interactions. The only reason I think the two are conflated is because they are often evaluated from a social context.

@gianellab.4953

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I agree. I also think sometimes other individual symptoms can be the same but we need to look at the bigger picture. For example, all my life I couldn't keep eye contact (on top of poor interpersonal relationships), which is associated with the spectrum, but I really can't say I don't understand social interactions. I'm actually pretty perceptive and pick up on cues well, so I definitely don't have autism. I guess I'm just introverted with some social anxiety on the side haha

@anaclaudialara

Жыл бұрын

@@gianellab.4953 I'm also have difficulties with the eye contact, but I'm definitely not autistic. Some people think I am, but I have OCD and social anxiety, and I'm introvert.

@worldhello1234

Жыл бұрын

"We are drained by social interactions with large groups of people and with people we don't know well but, contrary to common belief, we are often recharged by interaction with small groups of people we are very close with." That is not the case at all.

@nightfox6738

Жыл бұрын

@@worldhello1234 And what do you base this on? Because I'm speaking from my own personal experience and that of other introverts. Hence the "we".

@eldupont3095

Жыл бұрын

@@nightfox6738 its possible you're a little mix of both extrovert and introvert. all social interactions are draining to me unless they are carried out via text. if I'm interacting with someone in-person, it doesn't matter how close we are. it wears me out later. then again, maybe I'm a little autistic and that's why. I've been trying to figure it out lately. But, based on my experience, I don't think all introverts experience that rejuvenation you mentioned. And, I have heard it is possible to be both extroverted and introverted. it's not as black and white as people say.

I'm an autistic extrovert. It was really hard growing up because I would constantly be putting myself out there and failing miserably, usually making myself a big target. But I was also very interested in getting better at social interaction (despite not knowing why I sucked at it until recently), so I just kept going for it and trying to figure out how to be better. Now I feel very comfortable in most social settings and in putting myself out there, as long as I understand the social situation I'm in.

@Roescoe

Жыл бұрын

I've known a few autistic extroverts. Man they love their "thing." It's really hard though because usually not many people like that thing. I did like listening to them, but I have to set boundaries, otherwise they will talk my head off. So I set a "I'm going to do this at this time" so as to end without using more of my time than I intended.

@tatewinters5565

Жыл бұрын

Absolute chad i salute you

@michaelwintermantel9127

11 ай бұрын

Hey! Me too! We seem to be very rare, at least on the surface, but this is an extremely relatable experience for me. I've always found the social learning to be a bit of a swinging pendulum of not-enough to too-far, and back and forth until I hit about the right spot. It may take me a bit longer, but I get it eventually. That said moving to a new culture definitely was a rough experience (how I realized I was autistic to begin with)

@EdwardMillen

11 ай бұрын

I'm also autistic (diagnosed as Asperger's, a long time ago) and I've just recently realised I'm an extrovert (which surprised me), mainly as I realised I really like social interaction and gain energy from it, not from being alone. I'm not sure how well I'm doing with it though. I do find it quite easy these days to just go to a thing/event (even if it's a new thing I don't know anyone at), I don't really get anxious etc about it at all, but once I get there I tend just to stand around awkwardly not talking to anyone unless someone actually talks to me first.

@michaelwintermantel9127

9 ай бұрын

@@EdwardMillen interesting. I think I've had a lot of practice learning to meet people. For me it's super recharging to go out with either really close friends or complete strangers. Ironically people I'm less close with actually drain me more.

There are differences but also similarities. I'm an introvert but I saw a comment by someone who is autistic a while back saying they find it difficult to know when to enter a conversation in a group. People just seem to talk over each other and they didn't understand the rules. It might be for different reasons but a lot of introverts can relate to that. You're waiting for someone to finish speaking before you offer your opinion but then someone else jumps in and you end up saying nothing. It seems rude. Like thinking "I have something more important to say than you so I'm going to talk over you." A good thing about talking to introverts is that you get to finish a sentence. I've often been told that I'm a good listener, probably because I'm not interrupting all the time. You say we get the game but don't want to play it. Sort of. The rules of the game were written by extroverts, which is why we don't want to play. Introverts are often seen as unsociable and distant, but it depends on the situation. We dislike small talk but can talk for hours about something which interests us. I've heard autistic people say the same about small talk. Not unsociable, just want to connect with people in a more meaningful way than talking about the weather. It's raining. Yep. Introverts can also feel overstimulated but I think that's always down to needing a break from other people. That's enough humans for today. Time to read a book. I think that feeling of being overstimulated is more general for people with autism right? I might be wrong.

@brugmansianoncorpus7009

Жыл бұрын

it does get frustrating when you are waiting to say something about the current subject and the subject is getting further away and you still haven't had a chance to say anything. what i find happens with me is i start to say something and then the other people just instantly talk over my first word and then i try the same word at the next opportunity and then it happens again, i get cut off, often just feels like a lack of respect.

@azarialr6639

10 ай бұрын

@@brugmansianoncorpus7009this, 1000% this. Is how I feel in group conversations. Then inevitably someone notices I haven’t said anything and tries to engage me with boring small talk after the subject I cared about is long over.

@rebeccabrown8908

10 ай бұрын

​@@brugmansianoncorpus7009That's my life right there! 🤣🤦‍♀️ Fortunately that doesn't happen very often with people who know me pretty well. It's more common with strangers, acquaintances, and "new" people.

@woodynightshade2285

9 ай бұрын

I truly despise the rudeness of those who talk over others. Human beings are meant to speak one at a time; if you won't wait your turn, you fail at being a person, as I see it.

@doomwithaview4473

9 ай бұрын

I know this is quite old now but I had to join in. Your post is like "a day in the life". This is exactly how I act and feel at social events that I'm normally forced to go to. Also for me it's the noise of the pockets of conversations going around, it's like I can hear them all at once on top of the person I'm waiting to finish speaking. Then, like always, someone talks over me when I start a sentence and I think "why bother" and try to find somewhere out of the way. I think this is why I prefer emails, the sender has already finished what they were saying and you get a chance to respond without being interrupted.

So, we have established that not all introverts are autistic and that not all autistic are introverted, but am I an autistic introvert or an introverted autistic person because I am both autistic and an introvert. Yes, being both made it just that much more difficult for other people to see and accept that I am autistic. I think that my doctors were so distracted by the introvert side of things that they missed everything else for decades. I was labeled as just shy, quiet, too sensitive, and an introvert. I am shy because social interactions are so difficult that I usually don't know how to start them. I am quiet because I am semi-non-verbal, they now say it is selective mutism but it is more than that. I am too sensitive to sensory stimuli, both my emotions and those of others, to how people treat me and talk to me. I am an introvert. I draw both energy and the ability to self-regulate from alone time. My preferred hobbies are things that I can enjoy by myself or share with others to some degree such as reading, photography, sewing, arts and crafts, cooking, and baking. I have had only a few really close friends and most of them chose me as a friend, I didn't seek them out.

@Celestina0

Жыл бұрын

you’ve described my life almost exactly. I found it so hard to separate my very introverted tendencies from what I thought might be autism. Even after diagnosis I was sceptical and thought I’d somehow snuck through the cracks.

@DetraDearmas

Жыл бұрын

It doest matter I think. I have 2 grandsons a year apart. The oldest is friendly has a nice smile and tries to make friends. The other couldn't speak for years and now at 12, ask a question to see where he stands and go back into his world. Yes Noah prefers to live in his imagination. The key is both are mid range autistic. Their professional diagnosis is the same. Our brains are wired differently. To me that's the key.

@bentnickel7487

Жыл бұрын

Doctors are forever learning and in minute degrees. They don't know everything and will never know it all. One hundred years ago, you were shy, then introverted, now you're on the autistic spectrum. There will be further refinement, I'm sure. My father has been dead 20 years and only last year I concluded he was ADHD.

@TheKjoy85

Жыл бұрын

@@bentnickel7487 When I was a kid, I hadn't even heard of autism. I was 25 when a friend was going through the diagnostic process with her little boy. I started reading more about it and started wondering about myself, but no one would listen. A couple years later, I was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and selective mutism. About 5 years ago, my mom and some of my extended family got to talking and we all agreed that I was probably autistic. We didn't know what to do with that conclusion, but it made my family more understanding and supportive of my needs. Just over a year ago, I was switching psychiatrists and my new one at the time listened to a short list of my more blatant struggles and asked if anyone had suggested that I might be autistic. It wasn't within his preview at the clinic to test and diagnose autism in adults, but we talked about what he could do. We added another medication that works well for anxiety in autistic people when typical anxiety meds can backfire and make things worse. Finding autistic content creators on KZread has given me a lot of the vocabulary I needed to explain to people what I'm experiencing on a daily basis. I know that doctors are still learning, but that doesn't stop me from feeling frustrated that I grew up undiagnosed.

@bentnickel7487

Жыл бұрын

@@TheKjoy85 You are not alone. My Dad and my Brother were (I believe) ADHD and on the spectrum. Both have passed, but both had hard times dealing with life. Both smoked and died from cancer. Their life decisions made me frustrated, since I did not understand. I loved them and that helped.

I’ve always wondered if I’m actually an introvert or just prefer my own company and am exhausted from being misunderstood or pretending to play a part to fit in. I can actually be quite extroverted and energetic if I happen to find myself among like-minded people. I wish it happened more often. I’m so lonely.

@randallkoskubar2303

11 ай бұрын

Same. When I am with like minded people, I am energetic and loud. But in most cases, I prefer to be alone. People require energy, and I always feel like when I leave my house, I need to put a "mask" on. Because i tend to be a loner, quiet and introspective, and in my own little world. Then people are there and I feel that I need to smile, and be upbeat, and interact with more than a grunt or two. This is the mask, and I hate wearing it, but just stomping around being surly is not a good way to work with others. So I keep pulling out the mask.

@fradius1

4 ай бұрын

I have the same, I found the term ambivert fit best for me

"[Introverts] get the game, they just don't like playing it." This, for me, is a perfect analogy. I love, love, love being left alone to do my own thing. COVID was a mixed blessing; while there were a lot of troubles in the world and I was worried for my loved ones, it paved the way for me to get away from the office permanently and I am much happier. I opted out of a "fun in-office party" because the stresses of packing my work things, trying to find parking, being at a desk I know was going to be uncomfortable at, and having to be around other people is just too much trouble. I do enjoy spending time with family or friends on occasion, but if I had the choice, I would just hermit up and stay home.

@annatetiad.4991

9 ай бұрын

I am an introvert - and am empath, but have no social anxiety at all . As you get older, you realize that life is short and you spend time with people that are uplifting - cutting off ties with people and situations that are superficial and/or toxic. Introverts prefer deep connections, and those are not often easy to find. I always say that relationships with an introvert are about quality over quantity (of friends) -- this is by choice.

@MelHS-gr4lv

Ай бұрын

the starting and stopping with his voice in the video gets difficult to listen to sometimes ha be careful people THANK

I'm an empathic, HSP introvert. I DEFINITELY "get the game"! I pick up on, and often absorb, others' moods. It's EXHAUSTING!

@SonyaKhanOfficial

8 ай бұрын

My life!!!

@LilacZ373

4 ай бұрын

Stop bc that's me 😢❤️

@shadrach6299

2 ай бұрын

Sir you are NOT autistic!

@JohnDoe-bt9qp

Ай бұрын

This game is satanic. These NTs parasites would not survive if we stopped playing this game, stop leaving your house unless it's forced, don't tell anybody everything, don't be distractsd by them, this is how we win this game/war!

@lizzyholland9108

Ай бұрын

Felt

I'm 48 years old and always thought that I was a weird-nerdy-quirky-socially awkward-introvert. I had a work related accident 9 years ago and been struggling to figure out what to do since then. I cant work full-time with tools any more and I struggle to concentrate on mental stuff that doesn't interest me. Then 3 weeks ago welfare office send me to 2 psychologist (at once) due to possible depression and/or ptsd. They concluded that I was on the spectrum and I now await an appointment with a psychiatrist who is going to do the final screening and determine where on the spectrum I am and if anything else should be added. I try not to go hypochondriac and diagnose myself before the appointment, but took an online test and scored 42. It all make sense now :)

@dharmainthenorth

Жыл бұрын

Good luck with the assessment - hopefully however it goes it helps answer some of the questions you've had over the years 🙏🙏

@raynac224

Жыл бұрын

I recenertly took a series of tests that had been reviewed for literature support of validity and my results have me confused. I essentially scored on the very edge of showing in all the tests. one said I had high amounts of both autistic and normative Core behaviours. the most highly accredited one I scored a 68 out of 201. which seems small but apparently no one labeled Neurotypical had ever scored a 65 or above. that test was specifically supposed to be good at finding highly camoflauged cases. But large parts of me wonder... am I still just an introvert. like I am very skilled socially and dont have any sensory issues although I do sometimes have to leave large crowds because I feel overwhelmed. But I have no problems detecting annoyance and adjusting or getting jokes or anything like that... Although I had a very blunt and honest best friend when I was young who may have... taught? trained? hmmm They gave negative reinforcements to my most annoying traits and explained to me why they were annoying so that I had a clear understanding.

@thomashernandez8700

Жыл бұрын

As an American in his 60s, I was told by my HMO dr that they "dont'" do diagnoses for adults. I wanted a diagnosis put in my folder if I ever got in trouble with the law because someone misread my intentions.

@bottymcbotface007

Жыл бұрын

How did the assessment go?

@AntonYadrov777

Жыл бұрын

@@raynac224 can you please elaborate, which tests you have taken, especially the one for highly camouflaged cases? I am diagnosed ASD already, just want to know what I may still be missing or forgetting about myself.

My girlfriend is an extroverted person who is autistic. I can confirm, she will talk on FOR EVER about something she finds interesting. It doesn't matter how many of those small hints you give that you're done talking about it, she will keep going. It was kind of something I had to adjust to early on in our relationship but as I got used to it and we talked about it I've found it's actually a good thing for us. I'm pretty introverted and I work from home. Before her and I got together I would go weeks without any real human interaction and I can tell now, looking back, that It was definitely taking a toll on my mental health. With my girlfriend though, we'll be on call for hours and "we" will "talk" the entire time. It's actually me engaging with her every few minutes to show i'm still listening and her talking at me. It's actually really nice to have this one sided social interaction that we both get something from. Early on I worried a bit about her being offended I didn't talk as much, but I quickly found out that my input is pretty much optional, she just likes to express herself at someone who will listen.

@Ezkanohra

4 ай бұрын

Congratulations for pairing up with one of us and not going crazy over it, too much anyway lol

I think I pick up on social cues very well, too well, especially negative ones. The slightest raised eyebrow, the subtlest turning away, unspoken rebuffs, the unrelenting games and posturing around social hierarchy. It's so exhausting, I just avoid it all where I can. i don't act or pretend. So I am certainly an introvert, however, I do have a _other_ traits which could be considered Autistic (and which cause those eyebrows to be raised in the first place)

@jac_builtWoodworks

Жыл бұрын

I’m with you on that. It’s not that I don’t understand social standards or cues, it’s more like I don’t care, I’ve never been a person who fits into what used to be “socially accepted”.

@Walklikeaduck111

5 ай бұрын

Autistics can also be hyper sensitive to such things due to rejection sensitivity. We can see something is off and pick up on some cues but have no clue how or what its about. And tend to blame ourselves.

I’m an introvert, autistic and ADHDer. My ADHD makes me talk too much in social situations and I never know when to stop talking, thus people tend to think I’m an extrovert and want to be my friends and I never understand why 😂

I’m autistic and introverted. It’s a pretty potent combo.

@redpillnibbler4423

9 ай бұрын

Try adding social phobia into the mix - kaboom 💥

@kaitiscarlett9022

14 күн бұрын

@@redpillnibbler4423 and generalized anxiety disorder.

I considered myself an introvert for a long time. Turns out I'm just an (undiagnosed) autistic person with introverted tendencies. Thanks for helping me tease apart these two overlapping phenomenon, and all the other content!

@samppakoivula9977

Жыл бұрын

Me too. I am strongly introverted, but have clearly some autistic traits like not picking up social cues...

@andoletube

Жыл бұрын

The plural of phenomenon is phenomena. 🙂

I'm not autistic, but I am a big introvert. This is very interesting stuff to me and you've explained it very well! Thanks!

@SandraBonney

Жыл бұрын

Yes this has clarified a lot for me also. I have wondered if I am autistic but I don’t have meltdowns if plans change for example (I may be annoyed but I do tend to go with the flow). I know I’m introverted for sure, never doubted that for a minute. I’m just a big ol’ sensitive introvert. Possibly adhd, don’t suppose you know anything about that to do a vid on it? I subbed

@ETAonTheEUC

Жыл бұрын

@@SandraBonney lol. thanks, but my channel is not really about that, but I do talk about how i'm introverted from time to time. I know I'm not autistic because I am very empathetic and I am VERY good at reading body language and understanding emotions. I'm the type to understand someone without even talking to them. As far as I understand, autistic people cannot do this, or have difficulty doing this. This is definitely not me. I know I'm an introvert because I always want to be alone and like it that way, I have no desire for friendships my whole life, I prefer to work alone, etc. I used to think something is wrong with me only because society kind of tells us it's strange to be introverted, when it's really not; more like a personality type. It's been something I've had to understand most my life in which I am happily embracing more nowadays, as it should have been intended since I was aware of it.

I'm an autistic introvert with an avoidant personality. I was diagnosed with the 2 conditions in 1997 . I was 62. I loved your video. I'm glad that Autism has become something that can be diagnosed. it would have helped me when I was young.

I’m extroverted and autistic. It gets me into trouble some times. I have, to this date had two distinct phases- my youth up until my twenties [more introverted] and, the second half of my life, bring more at home “in my skin” and knowing myself- more extrovert.

@hufficag

Жыл бұрын

Interesting. I'm also extroverted and autistic it seems. First phase of my life as a student up to 24 years old, people called me a robot. I didn't bother talking to people, just studied to be the top student, so I can feel at ease about being right and have a bright future. Girls don't like responsible hard-working young men, they go for the fun guys. Then I went to China to teach English and begin the second stage of life, live my youth as a "cool young bachelor". Life is all about riding a motorcycle around the city, chatting to strangers to practice the language, taking trains all over the country. No schedule, no routine, no responsibilities. People hated the boring me, the responsible hard-working me, so now they get the playful me, the one who says random things and flirts with everyone. Girls should like that. But somehow people are still against me, telling me I'm irresponsible, immature, etc. They want me to go back to my boring self as a kid. People just love being haters, they're not friends, they're enemies.

@gonnfishy2987

Жыл бұрын

@@hufficag very detailed account. Thankyou for sharing. If my life was even half as interesting, i would share like you have.

@Yipper64

Жыл бұрын

Similar experience here though im just 21 so the future will tell. I guess as you get older you learn how to cope with autism and now that the social world is at least somewhat open to you, you take every opportunity you can get.

@AutomaticDuck300

Жыл бұрын

Introvert and extrovert isn’t really to do with confidence. It’s more of a preference to be alone (introvert)/to be with people (extrovert) because that’s where you feel most energised.

@AutomaticDuck300

Жыл бұрын

@@hufficag you can be hard working, responsible and fun. The thing is that fundamentally, autistic people are on a different level to everybody else. 9 times out of 10, people can tell if your “vibe” is off. And people generally don’t want to make the effort to come to your level and meet you halfway. They want somebody who is easy to talk to and just gets them. This is the sad reality.

Have always had difficulty relating to people. An aunt called me too reserved and a work colleague called me aloof. A child psychologist in 1969 deemed me 'idle and naughty'. Finally diagnosed as autistic at the age of 57.

@SarahBent

Жыл бұрын

This is why I fought so hard to get my kids diagnosed. My dad was called all the same in school. I have ADHD. My eldest son has autism and my younger son has ADHD. My dad asked why I wanted them labeled and I pointed out the "labels" he had been given.

@frenzyviz6296

Жыл бұрын

Hi. I as always labelled as too reticent, too sensitive, too serious, too one-track-minded, aloof, stand-offish, too quiet, not social enough,..... etc, etc. I was diagnosed, initially, as depressed, anxious, & just not making enough effort with people. I was bullied, ostracised, ridiculed, criticised, etc, all my life. I finally was diagnosed Aspergers autistic at the age of 53. However, even family still criticised my lack of effort with small talk & judged my social mistakes with criticism. I am glad I have the diagnosis, because it explains a lot, but I was even accused of wanting something wrong with me for attention and of using Aspergers to get my own way. In other words, nobody was understanding, even with diagnosis & I was told they shouldn’t have to always make allowances for me, but I must do it for them too..... because I don’t “seem” autistic. It was disappointing to find that people still expected me to act as if not autistic & would still criticise. When I try to stand up for myself, my mother will say “oh yes, we know; Aspergers; you don’t need to keep mentioning it”.... etc, in a sarcastic tone. Just saying I understand you.

@Agnethatheredhairkid

Жыл бұрын

@@frenzyviz6296 I understand you too, my friend. I have been misunderstood my entire life. When I got the diagnosis, it was as though a light came on and I finally understood why I am the way I am. God bless you, mate.

@ghosttheripper8656

7 ай бұрын

"idle and naughty" Got to love the state of our mental health system in the 1900s I'm only 22 but hearing all the stuff about how mental health was taken care of back then gives me chills

Conversing takes all my concentration and drains my energy like crazy.That and I find people boring 99%+ of the time.

The big difference between a autistic person and an introvert i think is that in the company of the right people they can turn off the introvert. Like I'm an anti social introvert due to an abusive childhood. In the company of most people act exactly like a text book introvert. Around my wife and kids I'm fairly normal.

I've always been an introvert. I can't change plans spontaneously. After work, sometimes co-workers go out. They've quit inviting me because I never go....unless it's planned a month in advance and its on my calendar☺️

I'm actually an extroverted autistic person!! I am glad you mentioned it, I feel seen :))

"Autistic people can be both introvert & extrovert" Absolutly spot on! I got diagnosed with Asperger & Adhd a year ago at 27 years old. I went my entire life thinking that I'm just introvert. I avoid most people but I also enjoy meeting & talking to the few people I felt positive energy around them, it makes me feel so good because they're not judgemental about my poor social skils. Your video helped me further understand myself. Just subbed👍

Friends and family have classified me as an introvert since 5. I have only recently considered that I may be autistic. While helpful, discussions like this generally only leave me more confused than before. Autism is a spectrum. But I believe, as a biologist, that all biological activity is a spectrum, and hard boundaries are only human attempts to classify and understand. Thank you.

Hi there, introvert here! Thank you for the good content! I would also like to point out as an addition to your own topic, as it's often confused, an introvert is not automatically socially anxious. Some may be, but it's not a default! ❤️

@suddenlyautistic

Жыл бұрын

Spot on Vanessa. I'm autistic, introvert and have normal to low to no social anxiety. What I do have is social avoidant behaviour due to the double whammy that is introversion social drain and autistic processing issues and overstimulation.

@groomedtodie

Жыл бұрын

Same. I don't have social anxiety, but I definitely have a social limit. I often feel overly aware of social cues and underlying group dynamics and tension. Quite the opposite of autism.

@aiiiia9971

Жыл бұрын

So true! I used to be a bit socially anxious but lately I have been really functioning a lot better in social situations. For some people, the anxiousness can go away with work and time. But the introversion has stayed. I can hold a lively conversation with a stranger. But I'm gonna need some time to recharge after it!

@dennisspqr

Жыл бұрын

@@groomedtodie I think that's a good point. The 2 traits I describe myself with is introverted and highly sensitive. The clues you get in so many ways can be overwhelming and I need to shut down at times.

@andrewhkim

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. Introversion/extroversion is also a spectrum. People that are 51/49 can show both traits easily, but at the end of the day revert to their 51 side.

That was actually very informative. I have wondered for a long time if I was on the autism spectrum because I'm an introvert who is occasionally socially awkward (especially when I was young.) But your video convinces me that I am just a garden variety introvert who was raised by (also) reclusive introverts, so the social skills I had to painstakingly learn were not unavailable to me due to brain wiring, but just to family and cultural handicap (white rural Protestant Midwestern Americans are not famous for their social sophistication.) I'm sensitive, and dislike bright lights and loud noises, but I can deal with them. II've never had a meltdown in my life, and have learned to be responsive to other people's cues, so... yeah... I think I'm just an introvert. Thank you!

@guesswho5790

Жыл бұрын

Same. I feel like I am a bit neuro divergent bc of how darned sensitive I am. But I really am quite proficient at knowing how other people are feeling and getting the general vibe of a situation.

@aiiiia9971

Жыл бұрын

Same here! I was kinda raised out in the bush where it's real quiet except for the animals and spent time around a tight, select variety of fairly eccentric family members, friends and/or neigbors. And also spent a lot of time in childhood alone, due to being homeschooled as well as periods of time where my family was separated, and where I was cloistered from society. I don't feel comfortable in crowds or in bright lights or noisy places, but not because I cannot process it, but because I never had to get used to it. So I struggled a lot getting back into the swing of things and socializing as a teen and young adult. But I can see that I am neurotypical! Just a bit sensitive and maladjusted. I get along well with neurodivergent people though, probably because I never got it rammed in my head what kind of people society considers "normal" or not and what is considered acceptable in this society. I'm just like ah, a hooman? Helo. And what do you do? Like what do I know about anything, I live under a rock. Social skills are poop, so I try not to assume I know what anybody means. I don't expect you to do mental acrobatics for me either, long as you nice. I tend to take everything as it comes and take everyone at face value.

@MacNerfer

Жыл бұрын

@@aiiiia9971 My situation as well. Grew up shy, also on a farm, way out in the boonies, so 3 months a year I didn't interact with many people at all. I did go to regular school, but it was small, I knew everybody. And it was still often stressful. People talk about high school or college as the best years of their life, but for me it was after college for sure.

Such an important video. Thank you. I'm an introvert and my husband, who recently passed away, was autistic. I didn't know that he was autistic until about a month before he died. It breaks my heart, because I'm now understanding how his autism affected his cancer diagnosis and how he dealt with it and the treatment that he received. I wish I had known sooner and maybe I could have helped him more.

@rebeccabrown8908

10 ай бұрын

I'm sorry for your loss, Roseanne. That's tough. 🥺

As an Introvert who is also a HSP I’m constantly confused about whether or not I’m autistic, but the biggest things that remind me I’m not are that I am VERY good at reading the room and I am super adaptable to change or breaks in my routines and even prefer moderate levels of spontaneity in my every day life. But my ability to adjust and adapt to certain stimuli is very close to an autistic person’s, and I get so drained by socialization :’) Thanks for this video and for reaffirming to me that I do not in fact have autism!

@ABC-jq7ve

Жыл бұрын

Is your reading the room coming from hypervigilance? Some autistic people like me have trauma so we learned real fast how to read a room in order to survive. And the adjusting to other people’s needs and wants could be fawning. But then again, I could be completely wrong. Just providing information.

@danielcrafter9349

Жыл бұрын

​@@ABC-jq7ve - didn't realise this was thing. Got me thinking, now

@azumashinobi1559

Жыл бұрын

​​@@ABC-jq7ve something I noticed that I think identities a difference between hypervigilance and true room reading in a way that is consistent with someone with social skills is that I can only "read the room" when it's about threats. When it comes to reading the room for any other reason I don't seem to have that ability. I'm not even really sure what that means to be honest lol. I have a lot of trauma with bullying at home and at school so I gained the ability to sense red flags/dangers often within seconds of hearing someone speak. I will say "yeah I don't like this person idk why" and within a few weeks or even days SOMETHING is found out about said person that confirms my feelings. However I am absolutely useless when it comes to reading and socializing if it's not about a direct threat lol Edit: disclaimer of course this is just my assessment based on me alone don't take this as fact

@isotope73

Жыл бұрын

@@ABC-jq7ve I too am great at reading rooms and individuals. It's because of hypervigilance. But I love having this skill.

@nebucamv5524

Жыл бұрын

HSP and introvert here too! 😀😊 I TOTALLY agree with you! I experience exactly the same!!!!

I was one of the people who asked and thank you so much for doing this. I know I'm definitely an introvert but could I also be autistic? I still don't know!

I don't know about my natural state, but I think the way people have (subconsciously) reacted to me being autistic and having meltdowns/leaving accommodations has made me want to avoid leaving my house whenever possible so as not to get in anyone's way, and making me more of an introvert as such (getting more energy being alone). Masking is exhausting but I can usually do it long enough without breaking down at work. Thing is I act so bubbly when work mode is on nobody would suspect a thing (sometimes I wear a chew necklace so people who know what that means will know but aside from that). But basically as I've gotten older I've realised mentally I'm very different from others (not in a bragging way, in a "if I tell the truth about my thought processto someone completely Neuro typical they'll be concerned/feel unsafe around me " way). I feel broken and confused a lot of the time. When I was younger it was probably a normal level of introversion but at this point I'm so tired of the world.

I suspect somewhere in the comments someone already pointed this out but some of this attributed to autism or introversion can be explained by ADHD. There’s overlap in Autism and ADHD and some people do have both. For me, my understanding of my flip flopping between introversion and being energized by certain *kinds* of gatherings is because of my ADHD. My default mode is introverted in social situations, usually I speak when I’m spoken to. But sometimes I’m really talkative and exited to be there. Depends on if it’s something I’m interested in and at what point in my ADHD symptom cycle I’m in. Sometimes my symptoms are more problematic than others. Rejections sensitivity, sensory issues, embarsssing talkativeness all ebb and flow. Afaik I’m not autistic but I identified with a lot of the autistic traits in this video bc I’m neurodivergent in a different but similar way.

I found this really useful. I'm 75. Before watching this I thought that I may be on the autistic spectrum but now think that I'm just an introvert but with a number of autistic traits. I've only once had a meltdown when my brain was paralysed for a few minutes. Thanks for this. I feel much clearer now.

I used to describe myself as an extreme introvert. This still required me to create elaborate theories to explain my other “quirks.” Learning (in my 50’s) I’m actually an introverted autistic person explains EVERYTHING. This is another great video, Orion. Pardon me while I grab my spinner toy to settle myself because I’m out of town an my entire routine has been disrupted.

This is my life. When I was younger, I was clearly an extrovert. All the personality tests I took, very consistently identified me as still being one. But at the same time, I present as very introverted.This summer, I started to suspect that I could be autistic and started researching what it might look like in me. Then you present this that totally descriibes how this extrovert just might look interverted because of my Autistic brain. Thank you.

@Rickywwx

Жыл бұрын

Well said!!! I've heard people say that the difference between introversion and extroversion is how you recharge your energy. It's said that introverts don't necessarily dislike being with groups of people, but it is often draining for them. Extroverts, OTOH, feel energized and recharged being with a group of people. I like being with groups of people, and I rarely, if ever, feel drained by it. That said, I don't know if I've ever been the life of the party either. I do a lot more listening and less contributing. For this reason I am considered an introvert, but if it wasn't for the autism, I would be more of an ambivert, kind of right in the middle. Interestingly, as someone diagnosed with ASD, I find that, depending on who I'm with, small groups of 2 or 3 where I have more responsibility to maintain the conversation, can be more of a struggle than larger groups. But I'm rarely drained in either situation. My struggle, and I think many aspies struggle with this as well, is processing speed (I've been tested and mine is below average - and I've read that a large number of aspies also have slow processing). So by the time I have processed what is being said, the conversation has moved on, and rather than say something awkward, I just try to catch myself up with the current convo. I think this is where many of us Aspies get the "socially awkward" label, bc we insist on saying what we were thinking (or talking about what we want to talk about), even when the conversation has moved on to something else.

In my teens I told my mum that I was an introvert extrovert also realising that I was dyslexic. I’m 70 now and have been slowly realising over the last 25 years that I am probably autistic. I look at my children and see in them what I saw in my mother too. I am very aware that I can over share never knowing when others are bored. I did it again today I am sure but not certain so I’m going to leave it before I tell you my life story.

I do get the game but I learned it from copying others. I watch others while in social situations. Its exhausting.

Some years ago I had this sudden idea to research what 'introvert ' actually means (as well as high sensitivity)....and understood I had it for the right reason. I knew myself a lot better suddenly, stopped fretting about 'failing ' social norms and accepted that I actually like being alone and in my thoughts/daydreams/world and often do not like other people around. I know now that I need quiet time, that I get exhausted by noise, to much talking etc. And that I'm by no means cold or arrogant. Just very un-social and not out of a negative reason. I often thought personality wise we are closer to autistic people because often when I hear about autism I find common traits. So much so that I sometimes wondered if I'm autistic myself. But usually concluded that's not the case. This video confirmed that to me! So thanks a lot, that was really interesting. I'm just glad I know myself much better than when I was younger and also that that is the case for the maker of this video. Once you know where you're coming from you can relax more, accept yourself better and stop fretting about things you can't match to others. Keep going with these videos, I give a like 😉👍

Thanks for this kinda settled a debate I had in my head. I’m an introvert that has some austistic traits (desire for systematized logical thought, posting KZread comments) but I’m now sure I’m just introverted because I’ve always been shocked at how bad most people are at reading a room. I think I have a better read on people than most extroverts. You pick up on a lot of little things when you just sit back and watch. To me the ‘vibe’ of a room almost feels like a physical thing I can touch or mould

Heart Break Ridge...Adapt, improvise, and overcome. Words that changed me.

I’m an introvert definitely, my son is also I hate talking to people that talk about things that are totally unimportant, just stupid things, silly things I have no time for or want to waste brain cells thinking about

YES omg. When discussing my schizoid personality disorder and general disdain for socialising, I'm tired af of "are you sure it isn't autism" as people completely ignore everything else about me that is clearly not autistic

I was always, and still am, an introvert. I watched your video because it sparked my interest. This particular video pretty much assures me that I am only an introvert. As a child I was called stuck-up or arrogant or shy. I did not work at making friends, I was fine being alone. A few kids became select friends, but only because they approached me first. As an adult I no longer see these people I knew as a kid, and I am fine with that -- so no life-long relationships for me. Even with my spouse -- he sought me out I did not go looking for him. He adjusted to me because I don't adjust in an attempt to 'please' others. That would be living a lie. He's been living a lie because of adjustments he made. After 42 years together, he is having problems now because he did not just accept what I was, he made adjustments and now he feels frustration because I am not what he thinks I should be. I have two grown children that I hardly see -- once or twice a year is considered amazing. As I was raising the kids, I adjusted and adapted to what was required for me to function as an involved parent. The school functions, PTA, celebrations marking the stages of the kids growth -- birthdays, recitals, sports, etc. I was an involved parent, but it was all an act -- a performance if you will -- that I perfected. Now that they are grown, my job is done. I won't raise grandkids and they know it. Seems that my kids understand me better than my spouse of 42 years. I guess because they grew up around me and he did not. I do not interact with social gatherings because, frankly, I find people to be silly; drama queens, and they have a tendency to make, what could be simple, a complicated struggle of life. I am extremely self-reliant and independent. I already knew, even as a child, that people had a problem with me because I could not be manipulated into what they thought I should be. It was their problem, not mine. I have always been a Libertarian because of my introverted personality. I could care less what others choose to do with their life -- live and let live -- just as long as they do not try to push their style onto me. That is where the trouble starts and why I never made 'friends'. I have always found that 'friends' want to either, use you, control you or both. Not for me. I have great empathy for Autistic people -- of all levels. Because of my own introversion I can only imagine how much more compounded their situation is. In a perfect world, people would just be allowed to be what they are, but we do not live in a perfect world. I will tell you that -- at least for me -- if you are an introvert, the older you get the more you fall into your own, private world. You just get tired of all the adaptions and adjustments, and you just want to be left alone. Extraverts will never understand this and so you end up being an agitation to them, over time. Good luck to everyone out there who does not fit the 'expected' standard within society. Just remember, that it is they who have the problem not you. Their problem being that they cannot just accept what you are and deal with it.

@HLJlovejoy

Жыл бұрын

I really appreciate what you shared and can relate on many levels. I’m starting to make connections because I’m tired of being misunderstood or feeling bad for who I am and the way I think. I’m a mixed bag and often mistaken for an extrovert but I personally know and some tests have revealed that I am indeed an introvert with some extrovert strengths. But the way you describe yourself and thoughts resonate with me and quite frankly it’s the first. You say many things I’ve felt but haven’t expressed. I’m approaching 50 in a few months and made a commitment to myself to be comfortable in my skin and it’s a battle because it’s contrary to my faith in an indirect way or at least contrary to what/how it’s taught in Christian churches (my opinion) and because I’m a mom of four adult children and the world doesn’t really advocate for people like me without labeling me and grossly missing the mark. Sorry for the drawn out reply. My main point is thank you.

@reesaserik3759

Жыл бұрын

@@HLJlovejoy You are welcome and I wish you luck on your self-journey. Just keep one thing in mind -- when people get angry or agitated, or critical of you ask yourself one question. Why are they doing this? If you look hard enough and deep enough and truthful, you will, most probably, realize they are upset because you are no longer doing or behaving the way they want. A lot of times people are happiest with you when they are successfully manipulating you. I do not even see it as a fault in them. It is part of human nature -- sometimes a part of the ugly side. I really do not think they can help it any more than you can help what you are. The strength lies in me to simply say no. You can be in charge of your own existence, but also be aware that you will also be responsible for the consequences. It is easy to give in and do what others demand of you. It takes real inner strength to say no, take charge of yourself and accept responsibility for your decisions. The hardest part is to be truthful with yourself. What do you want and are you willing and ready to suffer any consequences from your decision. I have 2 children. One is extremely resentful of me because I will not allow her to manipulate me. She tried everything and she failed, so now she 'punishes' me by not talking to me. The other child totally accepts me for who and what I am. He is supportive and is there for me if I need him and I am there for him. I am sad about my daughter, but It is a problem that lies in her. I tell you this so that you realize that not all family will accept you if you 'change' by becoming your true self. Again, good luck and I hope you live the last of your life for yourself. It can be very liberating.

@HLJlovejoy

Жыл бұрын

@@reesaserik3759 ❤️🙏🏾

I am both introverted and autistic. I am 100 percent introverted. I took the Myer's Briggs test and every single time I did it, I was 100 percent introverted. My parents also figured that I was introverted before I took the Myer's Brigg's test. I knew I was introverted before I took the test. And the test confirmed that I am very introverted. I was diagnosed with autism at age 2. You can be both autistic and introverted. I am proud to say that I am both! I have to have alone time. I cannot be by people all of the time. Socializing tires me out.

@gigilafonte1621

9 ай бұрын

Myers Briggs is pseudoscience. Try a big 5 test.

This is extremely relatable to me. I've always considered myself an introvert, but now that you mention it I do gain energy from social interaction, but only when it's something I'm super interested in. I guess I should seek diagnosis, huh

I definitely related to this video. I'm 50, and was only diagnosed as autistic this past year and was labeled as an introvert most of my life (also 'weird,' 'awkward,' and 'bookworm'). Even after my diagnosis I struggled to explain the difference between autistic and introverted, so thank you so much for this video!

OMG! This explains my 40 yr old son. Thank you so much for this explanation and understanding. He has been diagnosed with social anxiety & PTSD but I felt it was different than just that. I hope I can get him to listen to this. He struggles to understand why people get frustrated with him, including me. I will now treat him with much more compassion and less expectations.

Understanding I’m autistic has helped so much, I finally understand why I have INSANE energy around ppl I trust and feel safe around, but even thinking about going into a place with new faces is exhausting

I'm an introvert with diagnosed social anxiety and ADD, and while there's a significant crossover between my symptoms and autism, I recognize I'm not autistic. The sensitivity to sensory stimuli is a major one I don't have. As said in the video, I'm able to easily tune out noises or smells or whatever without being bothered too much.

Good content. Explained the nuances between pure introversion and an introverted autistic very well. (And a shout out to all the extroverted autistics who are often misunderstood) 👋 😊❤

@thekajalflaneur

Жыл бұрын

👋🌞

@erikavaleries

Жыл бұрын

hi

@Catlily5

Жыл бұрын

I'm extroverted!

This gave me an insight into how I handle emergencies. I’m able to take charge in emergencies because literally shut down emotionally. Its like my brain decides “emotions won’t help you” and I just go about making decisions in an almost completely removed manner. Afterward I have to deal with the meltdown. Unfortunately.

@jaybirdk7414

10 ай бұрын

I feel this. I can shut down emotions to deal with stressful situations, but I feel it heavily afterwards.

I am an extroverted person often mistaked for being an introvert because I have social issues related to mild autism (which I have learned to cover up, because that just opens another can of worms). It always annoys me when people believe that, because in reality there's nothing I love more than being around people. Very helpful video.

Honestly society as a whole has been so saturated with constant ever changing suedo psychology that real actual conditions are becoming confused with them and so all the attention seeking types use this for their own purposes. You are doing a great job being patient and staying focused on the real issues that need to be understood. Thanks!

This explanation clearly defines for me that I am an introvert and do not have autism. Thank you!

I've actually talked with my husband about this. I definitely see differences between introversion and autism. I'm more "geared"(relatively) for social interaction and can navigate them relatively well but don't seek them out much, while my husband seeks out social interactions and can be out all day with friends yet isn't "geared"(relatively) to navigate those interactions very effectively. He loves going out and doing things(especially going to breweries) and actually begins to suffer when we've just been at home most weekends, while I'll be content at home quietly sitting besides him watching KZread as he satisfies my social need. It's been months since I last got my friend group to go out lol

I feel like I walk both paths. I can still interpret social ques and I like interacting with my peers, but structure and alone time are also incredibly important for me

I really love all of your videos so much and they're helping me greatly with learning about my own autism. I know it's a bit off topic, but a few weeks ago I activated a new credit card, and today a second one came in the mail and I knew a meltdown was imminent if I didn't immediately call my bank and get it sorted out. I guess it kind of relates to social interaction, even if over the phone, and how an introvert might be able to change their routine, but it is really hard for people like me when the social interaction is unexpected. I was just lucky the person on the other end was really nice and able to sort everything out! I did feel really bad I didn't profusely thank her at the end but I was too overstimulated and just wanted to get off the phone. Lol. Anyways, thank you so much again for all your hard work!

@orionkelly

Жыл бұрын

I would react the exact same way to such a situation!

@germanicelt

Жыл бұрын

I've been looking into nootropics lately, and I read a comment of someone who said they have autism and that a herb called Gingko Biloba has help them in being able change their routine or there thought process, or something. They said without that herb is was more difficult. Maybe take a look into that.

Love your content, as always. I just wanted to bring up people who are AFAB. The presentation can be quite different, as well as the skill set. Many of us who were assigned female are pretty adept socially, at least we appear to be so. What's going on underneath is a whole other thing. And sometimes I know what's going on in a social situation and can sort of read between the lines, and sometimes I can't. I find I often tend to assume the worst when it comes to people's intentions, because I've had to learn that in order to protect myself. In a social situation, I usually stop talking way before someone expresses disinterest, out of learned self-protection. A lot of my hypervigilance is trauma-informed. ❤❤

@jelatinosa

Жыл бұрын

Yes, exactly. I feel like women and girls who are probably autistic, people just want to label them as an introvert or a highly sensitive person, or empath, or some other mumbo jumbo because we don't present like boys do. I'm pretty sure I'm autistic. It's a struggle and it has greatly affected my life, and it sucks that instead of recognizing that people rather label me something that sounds made up and a bit ridiculous imo, than to believe that I truly hurt and I truly have been struggling my whole life.

@thomashernandez8700

Жыл бұрын

What is AFAB? Thanks.

@jelatinosa

Жыл бұрын

@@thomashernandez8700 assigned female at birth. It's used to be inclusive to cis female/women, trans male/men and non binary people who were assigned female at birth, even though they may not identify as female later on. Also, it excludes trans women as they would have been assigned male at birth.

I’m an introvert and I absolutely want to go out and interact, just not ALL the time

An introvert, like me, would not even make a video like this. I do appreciate the time you have taken to explain this. I often wondered whether I might be autistic as well, but now I'm pretty sure I'm just introverted. Furthermore, I RDGAF what other people think.

I am an introvert with ADHD, and I greatly appreciate how well you explained all of this!

@asher6047

Жыл бұрын

Same and I’m forever thinking am I autistic!

@Elvee427

Жыл бұрын

I thought i was ian ambivert all my life but i actually have autism and ADHD

@derekmaxwell8164

Жыл бұрын

​@@Elvee427 is it worth getting a diagnosis? Im mean not anything they can do about autism is their?

@ziwuri

Жыл бұрын

@@asher6047 Most neurotypical people don't constantly have to convince themselves they're not autistic. Just saying.

@asher6047

11 ай бұрын

@@ziwuri Good point!

I'm an introvert and one of my best friends has ASD. One of the coolest people to play games/watch stuff with. I'm an introvert simply because I'm an enjoyer of meditation and zen. I can socialize just great and it doesn't really drain me but sitting alone with coffee and jazz or a good immersive game is just the perfect thing for me.

I'm Aspy, I'm an extroverted introvert. You are what you are.

I like that moon decoration

I'm an introvert and was called an autistic a few times and I myself thought I may be one, but after further research I figured out I'm just an introvert. For me, introverts are "entry level" autistics, because while there are differences, there are a lot of similarities too. You're right that "we get the game", but know the game and be good at it are very different things. To this day it baffles me how my extrovert friends do so well in conversations when all they do is talk over each other. Specially when they talk with women: for me they just exchanged a few words about random subjects but some how they developed a connection and ended up in a relationship... Wtf. We do understand the game, but the game was created by extroverts and we suck at it. We can get it good at it with a lot of practice, but this drain us and make our lives miserable, so we end up avoiding other people and social interactions as much as we can.

@VulcanXIV

6 ай бұрын

Wow, that example about your friends making connections with the opposite sex in only a few words really nails it. It kind of just shows that there is probably a ton of social cues in body language that they're giving each other. Including facial expressions and voice tone. Damn

@YannMetalhead

6 ай бұрын

​@@VulcanXIV Thank you! Yeah, social clues plays a important role but I believe that the simple fact they're both extroverts is the main reason: they're similar, so they tend to stand together. Introverts are different so they tend avoid us.

Thank you for the breakdown. I'm definitely an introvert. I feel like I'm less likely to be autistic than before I watched this. I intensely dislike crowds and parties, and I'm a lifetime loner with zero relationship interests.

As an autistic extrovert, a big social factor is autistic inertia. After being alone, it takes time for me to shift gears into a social mood. But once I do, it's all I want to do for the rest of the day.

I know that, but you explained it very well. My mother and brother and nephew are autistic. My mother is also an introvert. But my brother and his son are extraverts.

Wanted to say thank you for your videos. I started out watching your videos because I have autistic people in my life and also you helped me realize I'm autistic. Had no clue. Just thought I was an "extra weird introvert". You have taught me so much about what autism is and isn't. Thank you!

Ugh unexpected social events! *PANIC ACTIVATED* lol Thank you for discussing this! This was SO helpful! Introverted ADD Autistic here 🙋🏻‍♀️

@_North

8 күн бұрын

No way! I have a friend with the exact same diagnosis: ADD Autistic. My fav friend, spectacular mechanic.

The way he said "light"

I feel like I'm the only person on earth like me. I've yet to meet someone like me.

This is so interesting! It definitely explains better why I'm more of an extrovert around people I'm really comfortable with, especially if they have that kind of "energy". I definitely mask less with a lot of those people. I get more social anxiety and am a lot more quiet around those I don't know as well or outside of events related to my special interests. However, I still have no issues being alone or just with one or person or a small group (i.e. someone else is in the home with me but maybe we're in different rooms), and a lot of times it's less overwhelming to do that instead of being around other people. I have a poor concept of time so if I were to spend a lot of time with other people and not have enough time to myself I'd be anxious. I already feel like I can't keep up with everyone else's pace sometimes so losing more control over the time I do have would not be good.

This was a really interesting video, I'm late-diagnosed autistic and a previous special interest of mine was MBTI. I was always swaying from introverted to extroverted, which all makes sense now 😅 I have one quick note: just to highlight that the autism spectrum is very diverse and it can sometimes be a bit misleading to say "autistic people are/do...", as it implies that all autistic people struggle with all the same issues to the same extent. Just wanted to point this out as I noticed at a few points! Thanks for a great vid 😊

Wow thank you for clearing this up! ❤

Mate, this is pure gold. Thanks for taking the time to walk us through the encounter.

I'm a very very very introvert people, I'm socially awkward and I hate skinship, hugs and stuff like that but I'm actually just introvert and shy. I'm recently finding an interest in exploring autism and adhd because a relative of mine had been diagnosed and I'm really glad I found this video, it's making lots of things way clearer! Thank you :)

Love your work buddy

i didn't think each and every one would hit it right on the nail for me.

You make everything so clear! Thank u!

I stumbled on this video and was pleasantly surprised by the depth of insights it offered on introversion. The video beautifully explained the nuances of introversion, highlighting how it differs from shyness or social anxiety. The content was thought-provoking and helped me understand myself and others better. Kudos to the creator for making such valuable content accessible to everyone.

I'm autistic and introverted. You did a nice job summing up the similarities and differences between the two. Thanks Orion!

Very nice explanation, I'd like to add one more thing about introverts that some introverts adapt or learn to be a bit extravert also for example when they are in some public dealing type of profession like being a lawyer, travel guide etc. They adapt although they feel drained and tired afterwards just like you said. They are basically introverts who have socially learnt to be part-time extraverts :-)

OK, I seriously love this video, and I can't believe I've never come across this channel before. Great stuff, Mr. Kelly. I'm definitely an introvert, always has been, since childhood. Everything mentioned here @ introverts is spot-on. I also have a younger sister, 14 years my junior. She's autistic, and thankfully she was diagnosed relatively early in life, which helped me to gain insight into how we're different and _why_ we operate differently. For years I've observed her behaviour as well as mine, and as Mr. Kelly mentioned, there's a HUGE difference between me avoiding things like parties or group dinners because I don't care to go to them VS my sister not necessarily understanding many of the do's and dont's of such social settings. Over the years, as her older brother, I've had to explain to my sister things that I consider common knowledge regarding social interactions that she might not notice or realize right away otherwise. This has helped us to become close & understand one another. Anyway, I'm really happy that this video exists, and I can't wait to share it with my sister. :D

I came to the conclusion some years ago that I was an introvert under the INFP category/personality type. I knew for some time I had problems with talking (mostly small-talk) and facing social anxiety in school and daily life was a hurdle. As an introvert I have some few interests I spend most of my time on and those subjects I could talk forever on with people but those people with my special interests does not exist anywhere near me so I hardly never talk to anyone about anything period. The only ones I can do "small-talk" with are my family because I have a sum of collected data of everything they have said over the long time I have known them to have a sufficient box of words to throw in their direction to pass the level of conversation needed, or it is more like a safe daily ritual because I know them. If I don't know someone I have a hard time talking with them (just black out no thoughts at all) If I have to be the one making the conversation. I am a great listener because I really want to get something out of listening, if I don't get something out of it, what's the point of talking to me for nothing ? teach me something ! , so I can ask an easy question so I don't have to stress about keeping up the conversation any more thank you. My final conclusion is that I thought that I maybe was high funtioning autistic because I could not handle speech in any form of social setting but I think the problem solely lies in me never having talked that much in the first place because of my social anxiety , so my brain has undernourished brain neural-pathways in the thought to speech department creating a blacking out effect when I'm thrown into situations I am unprepared for. Meaning I could know what to say as I am listening (already being ahead of the conversation in my head) but when I try to start talking I don't have that connection (because I don't remeber what I thought just then because I was focusing on listening) in my brain so I just black out and I freeze until I have sorted my thoughts, if only the stress doesn't totally overpower me so I have to give up and just brake down in some way. If I went to a socai gathering I definitely fall asleep when I get back home even if it is in the middle of the day. I need to recharge after all the data and input I have gotten from every inch of words/feelings/imagery/thoughts so it can all come to rest in my little brain and be stored for later.

@EuphoricGameplaysTV

Жыл бұрын

literally experienced and can relate to everything you said. I always black out and freeze during confrontations/arguments, speaking to the opposite sex, engaging conversation with a new client at work, etc any situation out of the norm. I don't know if its the social anxiety, underdeveloped thought to speech pathways like you said or just autism.

It’s like you made this video about me! All my life, I’ve thought of myself as an extreme introvert. Even when I was a toddler, I preferred playing by myself. My parents always described me as a "loner." It wasn’t until I was 53 that I was diagnosed with ASD. It had never occurred to me that I could be on the spectrum. A psychotherapist recognized it in me and gently nudged me in the direction of looking into it for myself. (It took about a year for me to come to terms with the idea, too.) Some of the traits I have that led my therapist to believe I was on the spectrum include: lack of eye contact, strong aversion to being touched, lack of understanding and/or awareness of emotions, extremely strict routine, wearing the same kind of clothing every day, eating the same foods for weeks or months at a time, having some special interests that I study know EVERYTHING about…the list could go on and on. Like most introverts, I also hate social situations, especially if I don’t know what to expect. I can’t make normal small talk. I can only be around a group of people for a limited time before I get exhausted and have to leave. I prefer being by myself nearly all the time. Over the past couple of years, I’ve started to think of introversion as being on the spectrum of neurodiversity. It feels like that’s the first step down the path that leads to Asperger’s and then more severe forms of autism, like human sexuality, everyone is somewhere on the spectrum; most people fit into one area but others fall in different places on the spectrum.

@webenso

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying that introversion might be somewhere on the neurodiversity spectrum. I am definitely an introvert and seem to have some autistic tendencies. It has taken me a lifetime to be able to read social clues and I am still not very good at it. I can get obsessed with an interest. But I am fairly tolerant with routine disruptions so based on that I am not autistic.

I'm a very introverted person who also happens to have asperges. I've met people on the spectrum who were very social and extroverted.

Great video! Thanks for your perspective.

The section starting at 6:20 struck a cord. I am generally introverted and get drained in crowds and groups of strangers. New classes, new jobs, and similar situations where I don't know the group are very tiring for me. However, as Orion pointed out, I am energized by interacting with groups sharing my special interests. I attend a regular Gaming group with people I call my "tribe". Nerdy, geeky, intelligent people that "get" me. These meetings leave me relaxed and energized where a company party at my wife's work (where I very few people) leave me anxious and drained.

I used to hate that people think I’m weird because I’m an introvert. Now I don’t care. I find extroverts loud and obnoxious. When a group of people are talking and all raising their voices so that they can be the centre of attention I just melt away. I avoid social situations even if they are my own family gatherings. I go sometimes but I feel awkward in any group of people. Many times I’ve thought there’s something wrong with me. Until I’m surrounded by those loud obnoxious people. Then I realise that I’m fairly normal. I’d rather be the quiet one than the loud one.

@joannedj1

Жыл бұрын

You’re not alone, I also find them loud and obnoxious. I see and hear them hogging a conversation, not letting anyone else get a word in edgeways, and wonder if they were never taught any manners when they were kids!

@robinmeznaric9162

11 ай бұрын

@@Angel-gb9gi Yep, I also go sit by myself in my car at break time and watch KZread videos or listen to music. I love the solitude.

Thank you so much for explaining these differences in so much detail, Orion. I went to school for psychology back when autism wasn’t fully recognized, and as a result I understand it far less than I’d like to. Your videos are extremely helpful and informative, and I’m grateful that you’re taking the time to share yourself and your experiences with the world.

Yep ... looks like I"m an introvert! A few people have tried to label me autistic ... but I fit every bullet point on this list.

This was so helpful! My husband was raised in an abusive household so has quite a bit of trauma. His coping mechanism is to shut down and that’s really all they know about him. When his brother had kids and 2 of them are autistic, they were wondering where they got it from and labeled him with autism, but they don’t even know him. He just doesn’t talk around them and it drives me nuts that his mom goes around saying she has an autistic son, not because I think autism is bad, but because he’s never seen a professional for it and because of how little they even know him. So, as an extrovert, I’ve been wondering how you can tell an introvert from someone who has autism and this helped. It seems like he really doesn’t have autism by any of the symptoms you’ve described and just wants to be alone and that any time he shuts down it’s always been connected to his trauma which is what we thought

@neurodivtries4101

Жыл бұрын

Your husband is beyond lucky to have an understanding wife like you. Handling this on day to day basis for a normal person for an entire life can be overwhelming. Stay awesome.

@Catlily5

Жыл бұрын

My counselor said childhood trauma and autism can appear similar.

@katies4521

Жыл бұрын

@@Catlily5 well that makes sense. Thank you for your input! It’s more clarifying

This is really interesting thanks. I’m introverted and really don’t like social situations and talking to new people at events like weddings. I have an autistic close family member and it’s been suggested by people who know me I may be autistic too. However, from therapy sessions, thinking about it and learning more about autism I think my social anxiety comes from a fear of people thinking I’m boring or not interesting, I’m often painfully aware of social cues and conventions and when people lose interest when I’m talking to them. Extroverted people might not care or notice this and keep talking but I’m really sensitive to it. I find it really hard to start conversations with people I don’t know so I’m reliant on people making the first move. Getting older and knowing myself more has helped and I’ve come to terms with how and why I feel the way I do and I’m better than I used to be in social situations but i’ll still never be totally comfortable in social situations and I’ll always be at my happiest by myself in an art gallery or the great outdoors.

@b4ph0m3tdk9

Жыл бұрын

I have made a "small talk" list on my phone, for when I have to socialize, it is constantly updated with those little funny things that happens or topics I find interesting, then I check it at the toilet during the event. Very helpful and gives me a nice confidence.

@Jimdixon1953

Жыл бұрын

@@b4ph0m3tdk9 Thanks, that’s a great idea!

@aiiiia9971

Жыл бұрын

I definitely relate to that! I struggle in social situations sometimes, but mainly due to overthinking. Like how do I say the right thing? Am I being annoying? Etc and read into everything. I am not great with social cues, but that's most likely due to spending too much time alone as a kid and not learning social skills as second nature... and also second guessing my own perceptions a lot-

@aiiiia9971

Жыл бұрын

I really love being alone at night when it's dark and everyone is asleep... it's so peaceful. No one coming to talk to me, and yet I know they are OK because they are in bed. I can work on my hobbies and my interests in peace.

@Jimdixon1953

Жыл бұрын

@@aiiiia9971 Exactly, that tendency to overthink things is something I do as well. And I’m not sure why I do it.

Your videos are very helpful. Answers a lot of questions around myself, friends and family members, some of that have been and some that still today are flying under the radar as a mystery. Thank you for your clarification.

Your videos give comprehensive insight. Thank you! 💕

i've always thought i was an introvert, but your description has me thinking I might have been wrong. Thanks for this. Blessings

@ranmakuro

Жыл бұрын

Same. My personality type is INFP-T, the healer. But the more I explore about autism, the more I find myself (which means also deep thoughts and feelings nobody else knows about me and how life felt when I was a child). Sometimes autism experts say something general about autistic women and it touches the bottom of my heart. I feel understood in a way that I didn't believe to be possible.