This is interesting. With so many of us now choosing a child-free lifestyle we have more freedom to orient our lives around friends or alternative family lifestyles. I am surprised it hasn't become more common for friends to colocate and even live together in a space. Personally I think it would be really cool to own a large home with several other friend couples where we would have communal dinners each night, take care of each other.

bro i been sayin this for years. we need to all pick a city, like super cheap in arkansas or something and then we all collectively move there and boost the economy and make it hip together

I chose a college that was stated away from anywhere I'd ever lived. Naturally, all my closest friends are from there. When I graduated, my overriding priority was to get a job within the same cluster of states where they would be (the Midwest). I accomplished this and then some. Now, I live in a duplex where my fiance and I are on one side and a couple of my friends are on the other. We have regular get togethers at night and can decide to do so at the drop of a text and a 10 second walk out of my door and into theirs. This arrangement has offered me so much emotional and practical support and I can't even imagine what it would be like if it was just me in an apartment, or even if it wad just me with my fiance.

My college friends and I just recently graduated and we are so crucial to our mental health. I know 3/4 of us have community and friendship in mind when thinking about housing Also I love this dismantling of stupid social expectations of diminishing friendships. As an aromantic friendships give me air and they're so priceless, no less than romantic or familial relationships

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

having that alignment of values is so crucial

So relatable… I want nothing more than to live within walking distance of friends, and bump into them spontaneously

Its cool how your open about not wanting to be alone vs. being cocky about how you dont need no friends

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

i love to be revealing

I think it’s such a luxury to HAVE so many good quality friends to even have this problem! Haha. I always hear that you MAY have one or two good friends in life. So congrats to you for finding so many great quality people to create community in your life all throughout!

You have to first have friends to be able to live near them 😢😅😂

@franciscatirado4772

Жыл бұрын

Can someone explain this comment to me? She has a lot of friends. She even says it in this video

@jessicahoward7138

Жыл бұрын

@@franciscatirado4772 lol I was talking about me and how I have no friends. In the video she was encouraging people to live near their friends and I was saying that in order to live near friends in the first place, you have to actually have friends. I was just making a joke and a lot of people seemed to have related to it. I wasn’t saying that Katherine didn’t have friends

@franciscatirado4772

Жыл бұрын

@@jessicahoward7138 Thank you for explaining your comment to me. You 100% did not have to. Sorry, I kind of put you on the spot. I was genuinely curious because she has so many good friends lol. Thank you and have a great day! P.S. I do not have many friends myself. I would say I have 2. I'm real selective. And I only call my friends like twice a year.

@jacob_massengale

11 ай бұрын

Why I'm here 😅

Holy crap, this video came at SUCH a perfect time. I made a huge decision to leave manhattan at the end of this month to move back home with my parents in NJ for an undetermined amount of time because I miss not only them but MY FRIENDS. Most of my closest lifelong friends from high school are still in my hometown and they're all within a 5 mile radius from my house. And after college none of my college friends moved to new york either. I was getting so so so sick of not having that sense of community living here and feeling SO incredibly lonely, and then commuting back and forth between manhattan to my home state just to see my friends once every months is so wildly inconvenient. (to make it worse, I'm also not friends with my roommates; nothing is lonelier than inhabiting a living space with 2 other people but no one ever acknowledges each other's presence). I am so excited to finally live somewhere again where I can just hit my best friend up the day of and do stuff together! I guess we'll be going on this journey together :) Excited to see what you discover/how you feel! And to what you said in the vid about making a piece of art because you never know who it'll impact -- your vid did to me what those articles did for you. Everything you said is wildly comforting and I'm MUCH more secure in my decision now. Thank you Kat can't wait for more content

I agree with this idea so much! I live across the street from my sister, who is also a best friend, and it is so nice to be able to just walk over to borrow something or ask her to go on a spontaneous walk with me. Definitely feels like being back in college! Wishing you luck!!

Interesting! If you limit your potential friendships to a geographical location, then you might have to compromise on what friends you can make. But if you prioritize making real friends over who you might find locally, you might end up far from them. I'm 62, have always prioritized place, now live in a town with no friends and regret my choices. . I love that you are considering this question at such a young age. Its capitalism that has taught us that jobs or real estate are more important than people. Like you I'm making friends and community a priority in my life decisions from now on, and I'm doing that by moving to a co-housing community in a town with an alternative vibe. I already feel way more at home with the people in the community than in my current locale and can't wait for my house to be built. If you want to be happy, people come before capitalism.

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

would love to hear about your co-housing experience!

Crying screaming throwing up!!!!! This spoke to the deepest corners of my soul. I’ve never felt so seen. ps girl you look freakin stunning w hair dark. I’ve loved all the colors and experimentation but this is next level

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

my natural color!! i am tempted to lighten it 😅

Respectfully to your Australian friend (as an Australian), Sydney and Melbourne being the "only cities to live in as a young person" is completely untrue and also a take of the utmost privileged. Young people live all over the country here, it's literally as big as the US, people don't just live in two cities! Also those places are sooooo expensive to live in.

I moved to Washington DC during the pandemic with not many friends near by, but I decided to move into a group home with five other roommates right downtown. Two and a half years later, all of my roommates are my best friends and I’ve made so many friends through them and have a network of friends all within walking distance!! It’s been a life changing living situation and my friendships bring me so much joy. I HOPE YOU FIND EXACTLY WHAT YOURE LOOKING FOR KATH! ❤

I live within biking or walking distance of 10-15 friends and it's great but my closest friends are moving out of state or country soon and I'm not sure what I'll do. At the end of the day, you can't control other people's lives and it is in these moments I deeply envy people with long term partners, which is something I've always struggled with. A partner is committed to you in a way friends aren't, so long as it lasts anyways. I'm extremely picky and chronically single and when I turned 30 last year felt the loneliness of it with particular poignancy. I'm not sure what to do about this because while you can move close to friends, make friends close to you, people (millennials and gen z) move SO MUCH these days.

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

friends can be committed to you in similar ways, we just aren't socialized to make those commitments as explicit!

Would you ever host a meet-up in the city? I'm a recent transplant from Austin and am itching to find a sense of community here!

I am honestly so excited to see where this experiment goes!

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

as am i.... as am i.....

I was stationed at JBLM before I retired from the Army. I am back in LA, but I am trying to move back up there by the end of year. I loved it up there!!

I didn’t do it intentionally but I moved from LA to a relatively small town for grad school where my longest drives are 20 min and I’ve never had an easier time making and sustaining friendships. The difference it’s made in my life has made me decide that if/when I move to a bigger city, I will put friendship first and intentionally prioritize living near friends.

Yes yes yes! I’ve always valued friendship more than most people around me, and this resonates so much with me. Good luck on your adventure!

Oh my -- how this SPOKE to me! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic! As you uploaded this, I was literally pacing the living room in the dark, listing all the places where my friends live. I am currently fighting to get away from the place I've been staying since the pandemic took off in 2020. Wasn't meant to stay here for long, but here we are, three years later. This place is keeping me locked in depression. Getting into the city to see my friends is a struggle, the hour long travel each way makes it so difficult to be spontaneous. I have one friend who I have seen more than any other of my friends these past years, because he lives just a stone's throw away. We meet up on short notice, often, to go for a little stroll. My closest friendships are with classmates from uni, and they are long distance. My best friend lives on the other side of the country, and we'll meet when she's home to see her family, but I miss so dearly to just casually hang out more often. I am lonely, and my plan now is to find a way (financially it's a struggle as well) to pack up and move to a specific part of Oslo where many of my closer friends will be only a short walk away from me. I grew up watching these close friendships on TV, but my life as a young adult is not like Friends or One Tree Hill (which btw is a good example of a small town, short distance kind of situation). Earlier this year when I watched The Bold Type, I again longed for that type of close friendship -- that I can try to achieve if I move to a completely different part of the country or convince my closest friends to move away from their families and to my city, but it's more like a thing that maybe will never happen for me. And as I was writing my sentence about my friend visiting her family, it hit me -- we (my friend group) generally travel to see family, but not friends, not that often. Meeting friends come more as an extra thing when we are nearby because of family. Again, thank you for sharing your story, and I apologize for the length of this essay of a comment 😇 I am looking forward to seeing how this experiment will work out for you! Best wishes :)

I also just moved to a different neighborhood in Denver- not necessarily for the friends but for the other reasons you mentioned- accessibility to transit, nice parks, etc. Looking forward to seeing your move progress!

So excited for you and you’re new Yale funded experiment Kath! Back in my old state we lived within walking distance from one of my oldest friends for about a year before moving to Seattle. It was awesome to have little mid-day walks and weekly dinners, but despite this the quality of life In a suburban Florida neighborhood was so low compared to the walkable urban neighborhood were in now. We are lucky to have great friends here about a 20 minute drive from us, but man if they were a 20 minute walk that would be the life!!! Community is so important

i'm so happy you posted this today. i was thinking of recording a podcast episode on my year of living alone and why i'm excited to be living with someone again and when i saw this video i knew it was a sign. i never thought i'd be someone who could live alone, but last year when i graduated college all my friends moved to the other side of the country, and i was also excited to have my own space after spending so much time surrounded by people as an introvert. i finally learned to be okay with my own company and i've learned a lot, but i'm looking forward to having my life closely entwined with someone else's.

AWW rosy cheeked GORL! i FEEL that about having friends that you can go on a stroll with. And also “no one showed up for me” omg. Where I live, I’ve made friends with a lot of locals who still hang a lot with their own local friends. Which is great!! But sometimes I totally get that mindset of that they aren’t always showing up for you because they have other things. But I think I’m getting close to having some “casual stroll” friends and it feels really nice ❤

Thanks for a great video and the curation of those articles! The topic of prioritization of friendships in life has been top of mind as of late

Excited for you! Seattle is the best and I often consider moving there to be with a friend I have a deep connection with. Unfortunately i think my job, which I actually like a lot, holds a little more power over my life than my friendships, (how american and sad). I also love that you just shrugged off your pull to individuality in this video, I feel that a little more strongly so it's harder to shrug off 😅

@marylemma9932

Жыл бұрын

Generally though, I also want to see people I know and like every day, and I also do not see how being near your friends, assuming you have high quality friendships of course, could possibly be negative either.

I love the ideas behind this video! And I think that exploring alternative relationship/communal structures and rejecting amatonormativity can be really rewarding. Something that makes me sad, though, that you and these articles seem to touch on is just how impractical these kinds of situations can be. For one, moving takes so much time and money- I just moved from North Carolina to Brooklyn and it's taken me over two months and thousands of dollars to even just begin to feel settled. It took so much time on top of that to try to find an apartment here I could afford that was in a safe building, didn't have terrible management, and with a feasible commute to the university where I'll be starting my PhD program. The neighborhood I ended up moving to (Flatbush) is very not-gentrified, which makes it one of the few places I could afford (I also don't live in a new/luxury building), but there also don't seem to be many people here my age. Once I have more time to invest in creating new friendships, it seems pretty unlikely that new friends I might make would live super close to me, and I'm not going to be able to afford to move to one of the neighborhoods in Brookyln where young people tend to cluster. Currently I live with my partner, and would be open to living with roommates if we ever break up, but roommate situations are inherently unstable because you have to think about more people's shifting locational needs over time. Big cities are this paradoxical thing because they provide the opportunities for larger and more diverse social networks, but can be so cost-prohibitive that you can't actually reap the benefits of them very easily.

i recently moved within a 5 minute walk of my third spaces for a very similar reason to be close to friends. it's been miles better for my happiness!

i'm about to enter my final year of undergrad education, and i've been thinking a lot about leaving this amazing walkable, friend-rich community in the next year or so. definitely excited to watch you on this journey

I’m so excited for this new venture, and especially happy that you took the time and resources you needed to consider such a decision. Can’t wait to see how it unfolds and hoping the best for you. Not to sound creepy but I kept checking for a new upload yesterday hah. (I want to be closer to friends too. Gonna try to rekindle my relationships, hopefully they’re still there, really want friends again.)

Excited to see how this journey plays out! As someone in grad school currently I haven’t had to think about this too much since my friends are mostly tied to our university so therefore we all live decently close. Putting this in the back pocket for after I graduate!

Where I live (Brunswick, Germany) it's actually impossible to be further away than a 15 min bike ride to anyone in my age. That's one of the reasons I love it here. However, it just so happened, that four of my best friends live within a 10 min walk now. My husband and I lived here first and the moved here in the following years one by one. This is such a great pleasure and I totally support your decision. This'll be great! 😊❤

I love this concept so much! thanks for sharing 😊

It's funny how much my own experience is mirroring yours. I had no clue I'd be moving to Seattle when I subscribed. I'm still in the find friends phase of my journey here, but I'm already discovering that I keep getting pulled toward another part of Seattle more often than not. I suspect we live in neighboring neighborhoods. Next year or the following, I won't be surprised if I end up needing to move in a similar direction for friends as I'm guessing you are. 😂 Anyway, love your vids. I hope the experiment works for you.

felt this, i live also live in seattle (ballard) and i love the neighborhood but i feel like i spend so much time elsewhere or in the car bc none of my friends live here and it’s inconvenient to get to from other neighborhoods (esp with no car). i’ve also been living alone for almost 2 years and while i’ve enjoyed it, it’s getting to be quite lonely. i’m actually going to move into a house with some friends as roommates once my lease is up in a different part of town, and it’s very convenient for hosting for my other friends who aren’t as close to it. i’m really excited for the change!

i’m moving into seattle from the eastside and i am so unbelievably excited to be close to other people!! living far from my new connections has made so many things unnecessarily difficult.

11:01 your embroidery is gorgeous!!

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

thank you!!!

hi i came here from the youtuber leena norms' latest video on friendship and she mentioned your video in it. great video! this is something i've been thinking about doing for a while now but now i realise i'm not alone in wanting it :)

the embroidery is so beautiful

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

thank u!!!

I'll be waiting for your reports since I also want to do the same. This video appeared in such a proper time. Also, thanks for sharing the articles that made your ground shake.

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

well worth the readddd

I really enjoy living closer to my friends and I’ve noticed there’s a lot of guilt involved with friendships that involve longer distances. Some people are so much more willing to travel to go see their friends, I’m sadly not one of those people. Then I feel guilty for not visiting often or not at all, it has been a discussion a couple of times that I’m a bit unwilling to travel to unfamiliar places. I do have a ”legitimate” excuse though, I’ve healed from a panic disorder regarding public places, but with agoraphobia there’s something called ”the comfort zone” and with treatment it expands a lot, like from your home to hundreds of kilometers. Public transport to non-familiar places is still hard for me and if I go visit a friend farther away I pretty much have to lend a car. I don’t do well with the feeling that I’m trapped in a unfamiliar place, so going with a car is the way I circle around that. With a car I can always control my transportation and leave whenever I want to. I know my city’s public transportation system so well and pretty much always know where I am, so here it is not a problem. I just really hate the feeling of not being sure where I am and if I we’re to run out of battery I would have no idea how to get back to somewhere. Writing this comment I realize I might have to just invest in some paper maps or print out stuff from google maps. 😅 I’m moving 5 hours away to uni and a lot of my friends are obviously sad about it, I think they know what I’m like. When I’m doing my own thing, I’m really doing it and keeping up with me isn’t the easiest. I have pretty severe ADHD and they know that, so they don’t hold it against me. I think it just makes them sad knowing that if I settle down quick and enjoy myself they won’t see me visiting that often and when I do come visit I’m doing it to come see my partner, not them, even though it is a bonus of course and it will be awesome to see them. I have been pretty smart about the way I build my friendships knowing my personality and very volatile way of engaging with friends so I often try to be apart of groups and make my friends friends with each other. That way the friendships kind sustain themselves through the group and people don’t have to feel sad that I suddenly aren’t asking to hang out constantly or texting, because I’m not the only one in that social bubble. I’ve never really enjoyed having separate friends or the idea of a best friend. People are so different and limiting myself to only one on one interactions isn’t something I want to do, I feel like often with my ADHD people feel easily more jaded with my social habits when I’m the only one giving them attention, which doesn’t stay on them for too long unfortunately… This video also gave me some good ideas about discussions with my partner about where we might want to live together in the future, when I’m not tied to uni. I think I realized I might be unwilling to move far away from my friends for example to be closer to their family. I want to live close to my friends and build my life like that, not around good real estate or just family or a job location.

I live in a small metro area. Almost all my friends were swallowed up into the huge city 3 hours away and we've pretty much all drifted. It's frustrating, but I refuse to give up on cultivating my found family.

Thank you for making this video. I want to move soon, and this video has helped me define what area I want to live in, which is close to my friends. That's what I need right now in my life. I love your videos Kath!

after college I moved in with my partner, to a farm house with three of my closest friends (and my sister in the same town). can confirm it was a beautiful time and i miss it dearly sometimes- living in nyc now. but i’m building community slowly :)

I spent half a year in Bali living very close to 4 of my friends (same villa with two of them and 5 minute drive from the other two) and it was one of the happiest periods of my life. We weren't even that close before that! Now my dream and a life goal is to live in a community of friends, preferably in the same building. It's kind of impossible because most of them live in different countries now. But I love the idea of finding new connections in your new city or neighbourhood

I lived in the Bay Area for a hot min bc of work, but then due to the pandemic I was told I could work anywhere! I had a friend in Denver so I chose there, but was about a 20 min drive from her and her partner. My lease just ended last month and I moved 8 mins away! It’s honestly THE BEST being so close. We can have impromptu dinners or borrow stuff quickly. We always carpool if we’re going downtown, or hiking, etc. I watch their dogs when they go out of town, they watch my cat. We talk about eventually creating a friend compound in New England where all of us live right next to each other and can hang out 24/7 😅 but I seriously would do it

This is so interesting and such a great idea! My friends and I often wish we all lived in some kind of huge house/village together!

I used to live in a tight community and now have my own apartement only minutes away. Being able to participate in events whenever I want and having people close is priceless.

I've been a secret katherout watcher, but commenting finally to let you know that im here to support. I always end up watching your videos while im doing something, so my phone is never in my hand to cmment. Im finally watching on my laptop lol. You're great, keep up the good content

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

glad you decided not to move in silence! thank you

Yess!! I watch a youtuber who has a close group of friends who USED TO live all over the USA. but then they all agreed on a city they could tolerate and now most of them all live there. Goals! Also this video makes me think about how one of my first thoughts when i browse zillow for houses i might be able to afford is “How are my friends supposed to get to my house for our monthly pot luck???? It’s too far away”

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

omg which youtuber

while I hope to someday live closer to more friends & appreciate the importance of it, Priya’s piece really rubbed me the wrong way - not sure if I’ll be able to eloquently express why, but bushwick (where she and her husband convinced so many friends to move to) is a neighborhood that’s been rapidly gentrifying over the past few years, where long term mostly Latino residents are getting priced out by young people like Priya’s friends. Obviously gentrification in cities is a huge force that most individuals have very little control over, but intentionally trying to convince dozens of people to move to an actively gentrifying neighborhood for the benefit of your own social life feels a bit icky. Many (most) people’s quests to live closer to friends won’t be on the same scale, but I think it’s still good to be mindful of the existing people and community in the neighborhoods you may be trying to gather in. Not trying to be prescriptive or preachy btw, these are all thoughts and logistics I’m trying to figure out, especially in a city with so little affordable housing.

It has been amazing! A lot of my friends don't drive/drive as often so we all ending up moving to the very walkable part of our unwalkable city lol. It's been much easier to hang out together but honestly my favorite part is when we run into each other randomly. I've had more than one date where my friends will have just shown up by chance LOL. I can't even imagine how things would be now if I didn't have my friends in the neighborhood.

Girl, I knew you were going to cite those articles. They danced in my algorithm/inbox around the same time a few months ago. This theme has hit me hard a few times in my life. Recently I've moved in with family so I could make a career change, meaning all my friends are in the next county over. I know my friends are important to my welbeing but it takes so much time and money to see them, both of which I have so little of now. The cherry on top is not many of them don't reach out to me, questioning the qauilty of these bonds. To make the community aspect work you do need a certain type of friend. Right now it seems that all my friends are pigs (as in messy) that have decided to be shameful about it. They would hate sudden pop-ins, which I like so much more.

I have absolutely picked apts based on proximity to friendships. Consider it one less point of friction in your life to make social interactions that much easier and low stress.

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

yes the friction!

Beyond inspiring! ✨✨

@annap1171

Жыл бұрын

But how lucky tho! That you have those friends already living so close to each other, so that you know where to be headed!

This is such an important conversation. I don't live in a big city because the only place I was able to find a house I could afford to buy was in a more rural area. However, if I ever get the chance to move to another place, I think choosing a house close to my friends, that has the facilities, convenience, and parking needed to host them more often, to do game nights, etc. will be at the top of my priority needs (right after my dogs' needs). I don't need to be within walking distance of them, but still being accessible and welcoming to more frequent visits has become more and more important to me.

@torimaddis7503

11 ай бұрын

Yeah but just because you live close to your friends still doesn’t mean you will see them all the time. Everyone is so busy.

I think you are making the right decision. Relationships are important! You will adjust to a new neighborhood.

i could write an entire essay about my thoughts on this video, revolving life around friendship, etc! here are just the first things i thought of. i think it's natural as a young adult today to have a significant amount of long-distance friends, esp as someone who's through college and has moved around a lot. i've grown to find beauty in the fact that i've lived so many places and have deep connections with people all over. that being said i just spent a year living in a city where i didn't know anyone going in, and it was hard. i knew that i theoretically had all these friends, but it's a different story psychologically when you're starting from scratch building your repertoire of people to fill the sims social bar. i'm now moving across the country to go back to school, and can't deny the fact that a big benefit in that is to have that social circle of people in my program right at my fingertips. i even chose to move into a tiny tiny studio apartment without an oven or stove because it's housing for people in the same year and program as me. i'm so excited to live in the same neighborhood, perhaps even the same building, as my entire universe of friends in this city, and i think having easy access to a support system is beneficial to everyone but especially so for young adults still figuring out our lives in general but more specifically our lives in a new city or lifestyle. also, i definitely have seen some aspects of people moving intentionally close to their friends! one of my friends was recently convinced to renew her lease because her best friend moved into the apartment building next door and she prioritized living close to him over a house or roommate situation that she might have liked better. another friend also moved back to our home state both to save money and to live closer to people she already knows. friendship is such a deeply human need, and i agree 100% that it's important to prioritize the people that bring you joy and add enrichment to your life, and to keep them physically close.

Flipping houses in the 80's was miserable, but the severed friendships were always considered irrelevant compared to the financial gain.

i'm having a job opportunity in another country and tbh i'm scared to get it because i don't wanna leave my friends. but it feels like it's taboo to admit, sure i'd miss my family and i'm single anyways but my friends? they're the core of my being

Yes, to thrive you must find your tribe!

Ugh all my friends moved to Boston and the others are in LA and I'm]ve been putting in the work to make new friends in my new town. I'm so over it, we're not meant to be alone. Thanks for this video

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

omg your handle intrigued me and did not think clicking on it would lead me to a kelly stamps second channel HEY GIRL

FEEL this. I once mentioned to a (straight, white male) therapist that I hated living an hour from my friends and he was like… well everyone will get married and move anyway. Ummm not my friends and not right now! So my gf and I did move and are now a 20-30 minute drive from friends in Boston, which is way better - and we still get a fenced in yard for our dog :)

As someone who lives in a city in Australia but doesn’t live in Sydney or Melbourne, it sounded like a very Sydney/Melbourne thing to say that there are 2 cities to choose from haha.

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

LMFAOOOOO and that’s probably true. equivalent to LA / NYC here

I LOVE THIS IDEA

I don't have loads of friends, I have 2 best friends who are like siblings to be, my spouse who is honestly my soulmate, and a few other close friends I met at work. my two best friends live within 4 miles of our home, for one of them we can get on the bus 50m from our house and get off the bus about a 2 minute walk from their flat, or we can cycle or walk or meet halfway! we all live in different boroughs of the same metropolitan area so all of our homes have very different vibes and very different amenities. on the other hand all my other friends live between 15 and 40 miles away 😭 gotta do a lot of socialising at work or online

Well finding an apartement in my city is a nightmare. Finding an affordable place is even worse. For most people an apartment „not too far out“ still means 45-60 mins for one way to your regular places. So yeah like you mentioned the housing market. I consider people living 20 minute bike rides from me to be really close. More is not possible right now

at the moment i’m stuck between choosing to live near family or friends. i’m really close with my parents but i feel like i need to build deeper friendships …. the ideal thing would be for both me AND my parents to move somewhere closer to my friends but they want to finish out their lives in their current house. at the moment i just can’t bring myself to leave them……. but i yearn for being with my friends…… it’s hard 😭

I did this and it was really fun.

My three best friends are in the Midwest, NYC, and Hong Kong/London. I love and miss them. It just ain't going to happen for me. I don't feel safe as a queer brown person in the area of the Midwest my bff lives in, NYC is out of my budget unless I get really lucky and get some bougie salaried job, and I'm American so... HK/London are a bit rough to get to and stay at without getting a specific job. Sigh. I live at home with my family for the purposes of $ saving. Friendship has been difficult for me due to a variety of unlucky situations, difficulty communicating between neurodivergent and neurotypical people (I am ND), and a personal propensity for choosing people with less communication skills than a rock... looking for more friends is a no from me right now. I feel deeply unsafe opening up to people who aren't my three closest friends because of multiple terrible, bombastic friendship endings I basically wasn't even aware of until they were over. lol. I think I'm used to high levels of isolation because of my family - we were the only ones in the States most of my life. We weren't heavily involved in our ethnic community, either, due to distance. I am excited for you

The hardest thing for me to deal with post-grad has been not living in the same city as all my friends

uh additionnally to being a great woman you look absolutely stunning

@linaestevenon

9 ай бұрын

this haistyle!!!!!

Ummm...My day is made. Thanks for uploading

Im lucky and fortunate that I live in a huge metropolitan area where lots of my friends live by me. I got lucky with where I live. It's easier if you live in a very large metropolitan area, such as Seattle(Like yourself), Bay Area, SoCal, Phoenix, Houston, Minneapolis-St Paul, Chicagoland Area, The Northeast Megalopolis(Boston, NYC, Philly, Newark, DC, Baltimore etc). I sometimes still see my friends whenever I can, I live in the Chicagoland area, and we have tons of young millennials like us here.

Ok so I loved this video and think ab these topics a lot BUTTTTT I’m curious to hear your thoughts on my biggest fear/ reason I don’t do this: what happens if you move to be close by friends but then THEY move neighborhoods/ cities?!

What neighborhoods would you recommend in Seattle that are walkable/workable without a car? I've been struggling to find a place to live in NY for A YEAR after losing my last place to a fire. I've been to Seattle before and much like you, am looking at the prices of studios/one bedrooms and going "hell yeah" after also like you being accustomed to paying like $1500 a month to live with roommates in NYC (only for you, the Bay Area). I don't have a car nor a licence to drive one, so I'd love to know what areas you think are conducive for only walking/taking public transit

@stephanietodd1876

Жыл бұрын

Depends on what exactly you're looking for, but Green Lake/Fremont/Wallingford Area is great. Central, lots to do, parks, pretty accessible public transportation. Queen Anne is a great little bubble with everything you need but I've found it hard to reach the rest of the city since you're on your own little peninsula, especially by transit, since you have to go around Lake Union to get anywhere else and rush hour can become a genuine nightmare. Ballard's cute, but it's very cut off from the rest of the city and it would be a struggle without a car to get anywhere else. South Lake Union is pretty walkable but pricey because it's full of expensive, new high rises to house all the tech workers who have the money. I may be biased because it's where I grew up, but I think Capitol Hill is a perfect choice. Bars/restaurants/grocery stores all within walking distance, endless transit options (bus and train, which is the easiest/quickest way north/south without a car), and beautiful green spaces.

My boyfriend before meeting me had this dream or building a small Village only with his friends. Its a nice idea but very difficult to realize, most of our friends are in a relationship / marriage and they Live in a nuclear way like us, and its difficult to change your habit of living. I too value my privacy and dont think could live in a Village with everyone where i open the door and see others. Maybe living in the same area but like with more distance between houses.

i love this and hate moving even more. so i train bike bus fly a lot

literally ur so right america is lowkey way too big like....

@Katherout

Жыл бұрын

right,...

Now I live in a city that I love. My dad in assisted-living is only a 10 minute drive away. My job is only a five minute drive away. The economic resources in my city are amazing. I can walk to a grocery store and a coffee shop within five minutes. And my mortgage is 30 year fixed at 2.99% interest. Also, I grew up here and I have a lot of old friendships within an hour from me. But despite all that I’m considering moving four states away because my friend is developing a cohousing community and 20 people I know and Love will be living there. I think I’m going to move there within the next five years and at least rent a place and keep my house in my hometown and maybe rent that out to someone else so that I can move back if I’ve made a mistake ha ha

If I had the chance I would want to move next to a Costco so that I can enjoy their $1.50 churros and hot dog/drink combos everyday. And those reciepts they give can be sustainably be reused as book marks. So it's a win/win.

2:52 aww, gasworks. :) 11:00 - oh wow! Uhh... show and share? :D 17:04/17:14 - haha, so relatable! (I did, in the end, but... only because things happened to work out that way; I wouldn't have chosen it, without other circumstances.) 17:51 - I kinda did a version of it, moving out here, but I'm still like 10+ minutes from folks... I think closer would be much better. We'll see what I can manage, and how.

We're not meant to live alone. Whether it's a spouse, child, blood family, or chosen family we're hard wired to need that day-to-day personal connection.

@cierraslowsdown

Жыл бұрын

Nah, some people (me) can strive living alone. We can have *community*, go out to a friend’s or out with friends… but I don’t think everyone needs yo LIVE with others, or even host.

here I am considering moving 6 hours away from my only friends

Yeah but just because you live close to your friends doesn’t mean you will see them often.

Step 1: Get friends

As an Aussie from Brisbane I would just like to say to your Australian friend how DARE you spread the libel that there's only 2 good cities in Australia lol

so like is this actually sponsored by Yale or is it a joke?

What would the internet tell you next? I hope this is just a catchy title, and you are not really letting your audience decide your choices.

Never forget... you're such a cutie... you'll be near friends no matter where you go... you'll never be forgotten.

I watched the video, 'How Remote Work Destroyed My Mental Health (feat. @Katherout) | Future of Work'. I have to say I feel very much the same way. I feel very lazy when I work from home due to the sheer burnout I'm facing. I can speak from experience that when I was in an apprenticeship that paid below living standards for the UK. I worked the hardest I ever did in that job, then any other job. The reasons why? Probably because it was my first job, but also because I was getting dressed everyday for it it. I was meeting people, and it was easier to cope with lonliness. Right now, I can barely function. I don't talk to some people the entire few days and week. And because I didn't make friends in college due to being a late bloomer in that sense, I don't have those connections. I did make 'friends' in clubs, but I think you'd know what that'd be like. The plan is just to accept being friendless and awkward at times, which actually helps you to become more confident. These times is extremely weird for everyone. WFH, social media and the lack of human connection is making it very hard. I am paid so much more, but I don't care anymore. It's a weird place really. I'm constantly looking for jobs that requires the team to go to the office. The days when its raining it's even worse. I think for me, when people are around me, it's much easier to suppress any negative emotions and at least just function to cope with the working day. We're a social species so this constant push for WFH and no human interaction drives me insane. They keep saying 'oh you must be extroverted' but I'm not lol. I'm just a human being, not a human doing. I think another key thing is this that WFH enthusiasts talk about is how no one is entitled to be your friend. While that may be true, it does mean that you can't expect expect anyone to help you, and that you must always watch over your shoulder all the time. How can you call that healthy behaviors? I just become deattached to people and just seem them more as annoyances rather then actual people the more I go on not having authentic experiences. Certainly won't be getting that if you're constantly at home. Going outside doesn't particularly help since no one of my age goes outside, like hardly. It's all full of old people, but again, that's a demographics issue.

I wish you and i lived in the same city, i honestly think we could be such good friends 🥲❤️